So I wrote this thing in the summer and it's been sitting around since then. I had actually forgotten about it, but then I checked my email drafts and there it was.
So I'll just leave it here.
Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Scout
1. Scout is almost always willing to have sex, if not exactly in the mood for it. It's not as though he lives in a constant state of arousal - that would be rather distracting during missions, to say the least. Still, he is young, and is therefore gifted with an abundance of hormones. It doesn't take much to convince him, because in the end, Scout sees sex for what it is: a good way to relieve stress, and something that is much more fun to do with a friend than all alone.
2. Secretly, Scout prefers to bottom, but don't you ever suggest that to his face. He does, after all, have his pride. Growing up with seven brothers taught him to always fight tooth and claw to stay on top, and in his mind, the physical exertion of fucking is not so very different from the brawls he used to have with his siblings. The best thing to do is to pin him down. He'll be happy to be in the position he prefers, and also satisfied that he at least put up a good fight instead of bending over and asking to take it up the ass like a total poofter.
If by some chance he manages to come out on top, don't worry. There'll be a moment of smug victory, followed closely by a pause of uncertainty and true bafflement as to what he should do next. Use that moment of hesitation to turn the tables.
3. He does not like the French. Do not try to sleep with him if you fall into this category.
You know who you are.
(And don't try to disguise yourself, he can feel the paper in your mask and smell the smoke on your breath.)
4. Being young and adventurous, Scout is eager to experiment and try new things. There are, however, a few things that just don't sit well with him. Surprisingly, bondage is one of them. Scout's willing to do a lot of kinky shit, but his skin crawls at the thought of being tied up. He was born to run, to jump, to move, and the ability to do so is just something he's not comfortable giving up.
5. Like in all other things, Scout is quick when it comes to sex. He will come before you.
Just keep fucking him through his orgasm. He'll be hard again in no time.
6. On the rare occasion that Scout is actually too sensitive to keep going after coming, he will make you stop, but he will also make it up to you later in the form of the best blowjob you'll ever have.
On that note, it should be mentioned that Scout loves to suck dick, though not for the reasons you may think. Keep in mind a preference for bottoming doesn't necessarily mean a preference for being submissive. Scout likes to suck cock because he knows that when your dick is in his mouth, he owns you, and that gets him off like nobody's business.
7. Sometimes Scout gets terribly lonely. It's at these times that he needs sex to be the roughest.
Be gentle with him and it'll break his heart. Fuck him into the ground, and he'll remember that he's still alive.
8. Do not make the mistake of thinking Scout is stupid. No, he's not the most book smart young man to ever live, but he has enough street smarts to make up for it.
If you want to have sex, you don't have to say anything. He'll know the look in your eyes, the same look his brothers would wear when an attractive woman passed them, the same look he sees in his own eyes when staring into a mirror on long, cold nights. He knows.
He also understands.
9. Nothing is more important than the Red Sox. Nothing. Not the mission, not the intel, and most certainly not your cock. If you interrupt Scout during a Sox game just because you're horny, be prepared to have your dick shot or batted off.
(And yes, a penis can be batted off. Scout has done it before, and he will do it again.)
10. In the end, Scout is and always will be Scout. Shoving a cock in his mouth won't really shut him up; plowing him into a mattress won't stop him from yelling, harder, chucklenuts, faster, you weak cockfag. He's a conceited, provocative, shitty little brat, but is also one of the best lays around.
You'll want to grip his hips until they bruise to let everyone else know that you were, you had this, because Scout is just that good. You'll also want to punch him in the face for somehow managing to be a cocky, pushy son of a bitch even when he's panting so hard he can barely breathe.
Basicially, he's sort of a big deal.
And that's kind of wonderful.
Are you gonna do these for all of the classes? Because this was very hilarious informative.
While reading this, I thought "I am very aroused". Several times. Thank you for sharing, Sidi.
This was lol-tastic and stimulating. I especially like that it emphasizes that Scout power bottoms, and will knock your dick off if you come between him and his Red Sox, with a hint of a little more depth to him. I agree with the call for a similar list done for the other classes. Well done!
Oh, if only I could apply this. Why must such hot characters be fictional?
I love this though. It makes absolute perfect sense, and every point is believable, and consistent.
I'm with the above posters. I'd LOVE to see more of these for each class.
Oh, this is fabulous! I know how hard it can be to do "one like that, but for every class," there are nine dudes and some of them are just bound not to move you, but if you cared to write more like this, I'd be most pleased.
Holy unexpected positive feedback, Batman! I guess this means I can go back to my real username.
Honestly, I thought the Chan would hate this, which is why I never posted it until now. It was written in the draft of an email during lunchbreaks at my summer internship. It was also the first TF2 piece I wrote, and I dismissed it when I finished as being messy and cliche (the second thing I wrote, The Shape of A Boomerang, was the only thing I ever posted, and was a fill for the kink meme).
Honestly, at the time this felt like butter spread over too much bread. One day I was sitting around and #9 popped into my head, but I realized six sentences did not a story make, so I was like, "lol i guess i'll slap ten of these together and call it a fic it can be artsy and everything." Then I forgot about it, and it took some serious ego-tripping via googling myself and finding out that someone had requested the other story I had written on the Lost and Found thread to finally go "fuck it" and post this.
TEAL DEER I am pleasantly surprised by your kind remarks (even Marty likes it! Does that mean I get to be a cool kid now? I always wanted to be) and now want to take on the challenge of doing the other classes.
Like all great fiction I write during class, and today I had a creative writing and Russian lit course. Guess who's up next.
omgomgomg. Wonderful. That you plan to write more of these is the best thing I've heard all day. Can't wait.
I humbly request next one of the support classes. Preferably Medic.
This is great.
>>7 Oh god oh god oh god
*flails like an idiot*
I can't wait. I really can't, I- I'm just so excited. I can't remember the last time people requested something of an author, and said author actually responded and did it.
It's probably happened more than I realize, but still. Not as much as I wish it would. Which is every time. But still.
I will sit here and wait patiently for my guide to Heavy sex. Or someone else, because you might be tricking us. I do not know. But I cannot wait to find out.
This is HIGHLY relevant to my interests... and yes, the only bad part about this is that it can't actually be put onto practice. Sigh.
Lovely. Humbly requesting Medic version.
Would you kindly make a demoman one?
I would love a Sniper one to go a long with Medic.
Heyo, since I am a slow bastard and am taking forever to get the next one finished, and lot of people seem to be curious, I just wanted to let you guys know my general plan for these.
I'm currently working on Heavy, and then I plan to do Demoman, Medic, and Sniper, in that order. After that, I'm not so sure, though I've kind of been thinking up some stuff for Pyro.
Anyway, that's the plan. Just giving you guys a head's up (you've all been so great, thank you.) I hope to have the Heavy one done sometime this week.
Oh hey, thanks for keeping us posted! Sometimes that's the best thing you can do for your audience. Keep it up, Insidiae!
I can't tell you how happy I am to hear this. And you know, an Engineer or Soldier one would be nice, too. Just an idea.
>>17 Oh ye gods, yes. I would KILL for an Engie one.
Literally. Name the person and mode of death and I'll do it. Just try me.
I can picture Engie's going one of two ways- Him being all folksy and shy, or somehow turning out to be one hell of a kinky bastard.
Either way, would love one.
And can't wait for Heavy's! It's so nice to be kept in the loop! It really is.
I'll take the latter any day. Or at least a decent hybrid of the two for an ostensibly-shy-and-folksy-but-secretly-kinky Engineer.
Seriously, just thanks Insidiae.
Speaking of, let's talk about kinks.
For me, TF2 fandom has been the place for me to explore kinks I never really considered (admittedly, I had only written one piece of smut before coming to TF2, so). One day I plan to finish the language kink Medic/Spy noncon I have sitting on my harddrive, and I also plan to write a Medic/Pyro with waxplay.
As I continue writing this series, however, it occurs to me that I may have to consider YKINMK. Some of them aren't even mine. I'm really not into watersports, but I can't let the opportunity to write Sniper that way pass by. Medic will probably involve bloodplay/needleplay/S&M, Engineer will have toys and Daddy!kink, etc.
So basically, what I want to know is if there are any kinks you guys specifically DON'T want to see, because if I'm not told otherwise, I will probably go all out in manic glee.
kinks you don't want to see
Eh, poop I guess. While I've never been into bloodplay/breathplay/watersports/inflation/crushing/amputee/necrophilia/incest, I don't mind them. It might be hypocritical of me, then, to say that poop is just a step too far, but it's how I feel. No matter how open-minded I am or will become, it's unlikely that I'll ever gain a taste for that.
A distant second on my "no thanks" list would be various types of role-playing such as adult babies, or ponyplay. I just can't take them seriously enough to find them sexy.
Of course, I would never make an attempt to oppose anyone who had an interest in writing any of these kinks.
Just do what I do: hit 'em with both barrels on the weird stuff, and MAKE 'em like it. They'll be fapping before the WTF fades from their faces. You can do it.
In slightly more serious editorial advice, you should write whatever seems logical to you, and work to make the logic evident to your readers in the course of your writing. It's like a position paper in grade school, only with porn. Don't just tell us, show us, et cetera.
Do I sense a fellow Savage Love fan?
>>21 Eh, personally, I don't like anything with gore. Like, that one lungfucking fic with Medic? I nearly threw up.
But I get that some people DO like that stuff, so I can just skip the ones that have it, and let those that do like it read it. And I can still read the ones that don't, and be perfectly content.
Just worry not. There are some pretty sick puppies in this chan, so even if you write the most vile disgusting thing you can think of, chances are that at least half a dozen people will like it anyway. Hehe.
1. Get dumped by boyfriend
2. Go on two three hour long flights
And by profit I mean write this installment several days later than planned. Sorry guys! But as you can see it's been one hell of a week for me.
Anyway, I'm sorry if my mediocre mood has had any negative effects on this part, but after scrapping the whole thing once already, I don't think I have it in me to change it anymore. So without further ado, I present:
Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Heavy
1. Sex, for Heavy, is sort of like a form of maintenance, which is why he’s almost unbearably gentle at times. To him, the human body is not so very different from the complicated machinery of his guns. Both need a little TLC from time to time to keep them in perfect running order.
2. However, if you’re looking for penetrative sex, Heavy is just not your guy. He’s never seen the appeal of it, whether it’s giving or receiving. Heavy enjoys other pleasures – hand jobs are great, but he’s especially fond of intercrural sex. The smooth slide of skin over skin – as opposed to the rough intrusion of penetration – is the best feeling in the world.
3. Heavy is a romantic at heart. You don’t need to promise to marry the guy, but a flower? Some candles? They go a long way.
4. Heavy cuddles. Hope you don’t have plans for after sex, because you’re not going anywhere.
5. Surprisingly, Heavy is a quiet lover. It isn’t that he’s not passionate; rather, he’s scared.
Heavy is an amalgamation of languages. There’s Russian, of course, and English, but also German, Polish, and a little bit of French.
Dorogoĭ. Liebling. Kochanie. Cheri. Love.
He doesn’t want to call out the wrong name.
6. On that note, it should probably be mentioned that he falls a little bit in love with everyone he sleeps with. Not a deep, obsessive live, nor a heartbreaking, tragic love, but a genuine love, nonetheless. He can’t help it; sex is the best way to intimately know a person, and once he’s at that point, why not go just one step further?
7. Heavy has a lot of love to go around. He lives by the motto, “the more the merrier,” and tries to follow it in every aspect of his life. This is just one of those times when you need to be blunt.
If you don’t want to have an orgy, just say so to his face. He won’t get it, otherwise.
8. Because he never took to English that well (it was, after all, his fourth language), Heavy is often mistaken for being as slow mentally as he is physically. The truth is, he’s quite the intellectual.
In post-coital conversation, he likes to wax philosophic, whether it be Marx and Lenin, Herzen and Chaadaev, or Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. Whether you listen or participate in the discourse is up to you.
He just needs someone to talk to.
9. Under his bed, Heavy keeps a constant stash of vodka that could rival Demoman’s supply of Scrumpy. This he saves for the nights when the homesickness gets to be too much for him.
On these nights, you can still have sex, but you should just be aware that when he’s jerking you off, he’s looking for home in your arms.
10. Whatever else you want to say about him, Heavy is warmer than any blanket on a cold night.
And cold nights come often in this war.
Thanks for reading! Next up is Demoman.
>>24 Love it. Not quite as much as the one for Scout, but loved it nonetheless. Still seems 100% in character, too. You've really got these guys nailed (pardon the awful pun).
I would cheerfully make sweet, passionate love with this Heavy and three or four of his pals. You can join us; I'm not ALL-the-way gay.
I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend dumped you. Seriously, let me know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better.
I'm a girl who isn't highly interested in sex, but this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Not sure why, but it does. Heavy sounds so cozy.
I got dumped this summer and shit sucked, so I can totally relate.
Nothing feels better than writing about how Heavy likes orgies (with redheads) and how he's so warm and cuddly.
Loved the closeing line, and some new demoman stuff will be greatly appreciated.
D'awww, you guys are the sweetest. Sorry this kind of turned into a pity party in my honor, I didn't mean for it to - I only mentioned the boyfriend thing by way of explaining how long it took me - but I really appreciate all your kind words and encouragements.
Also, I realize now that somewhere along the way the Heavy version went srs bsns on me when I wasn't looking. The Demoman one should be considerably lulzier.
Oh, and Marty, you do know how to woo a woman. I'd wink emoticon at you, but I don't want to break the rules. I'm sure you understand.
I love your Hoovy, Insidiae. Please keep it up.
You write hoovy very well. And sorry about your boyfriend.
Awww, I thoroughly enjoyed both of those.
I can't wait to read more!
And sorry about your boyfriend, hun, but everything will turn out fine in the end. Trust me.
An update? On MY thread? It's more likely then you think.
Oh, Spring Break. Flights and free time are good for the soul.
Anyway, I have the feeling that this part ended up sounding better in my head then on paper, but I'm not sure what to do about that. Also, I apologize in advance for #3, but I had to. I /had/ to.
Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Demoman
1. The real reason Demoman wears a long sleeve in the midst of battle (and really, any time he can get away with it) is because his wrists are huge erogenous zones. Properly stimulating his wrists is the best way to have him panting in your lap in no time.
2. He really, really likes to see his partners in kilts. Yes, it’s weird, but it’s a thing of his. He enjoys connecting his heritage to his sex; just stop him before he pulls out the bagpipes.
3. Yes, someone has tried to fuck his eye socket before. No, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Yes, he was very drunk at the time.
….No, he would not like to try it again.
4. With a $5 million annual paycheck, Demoman likes to lavish gifts onto his partners. As nice as the presents are, at some point, you’ll probably decide that enough is enough. Just explain to him that you can enough fun without a solid jade cock ring, and he’ll understand.
5. On the topic of cock rings, Demoman really gets off on denial. Not his – yours. The panting, the writhing, the twisting on top of the covers – Demoman loves to exert that kind of power over his bedmates. He loves that control.
6. The one bit of control he will concede is his vision, and this only happens on the extremely rare occasion. Being blindfolded doesn’t do much for Demoman physically, but at the emotional level, he appreciates the equalizing effect.
After all, through a blindfold, he wouldn’t be able to see any better even if he had two working eyes.
7. Mostly, though, he prefers to keep his eye wide open, watching the connection of his body with that of another. Demoman loves the play between his flesh and that of his partners, his dark skin contrasting with their (usually) fairer tones.
8. Sex used to mean something to Demoman. Something important. Mama DeGroot taught him about honour and chivalry, about self-respect and loyalty, and though Demoman took her words to heart, that was all before this war happened. Now he lives in a constant state of inebriation and most of his romps in the hay are just dots on a long line of drunken mistakes.
Demoman usually has sex in a blurred haze, drowning in his Scrumpy. These fucks are empty and meaningless and rarely acknowledged. So when he’s sober, if he has sex, you should realize that that’s not fucking.
9. Demoman doesn’t stick around very long after sex. He has things to do, bombs to make, scotch to drink. He also doesn’t sit well with lying in his own sweat, so bonus points if you have a shower that he can clean up in peacefully.
Be aware that Demoman sings in the shower, too. The rest of team quickly came to recognize that hearing the broken strains of “Auld Lang Syne” over the sound of falling water means Demoman just got lucky.
10. Due to the nature of his job, Demoman is a gambler. He risks it all, and sometimes he loses it all. If you’re also willing to bet with him, then maybe it’ll work out. Maybe you’ll win.
But it’s always a gamble.
As always, thanks for reading! Next up is Medic, thank Christ. Finally a class whose character I think I actually have a grasp on.
Oh, bonus that I forgot to include in the previous post! If anyone's curious about the jade cock ring, it's real: http://www.cocodemerusa.com/Store/pc/New-Jade-Cock-Ring-23p88.htm
You can also buy pearl anal beads. Weirdest google search I've ever done.
I can't wait for your next one. That was fabulous.
Captcha: manots. Man nots. Pyro?
I'm not even attracted to Demo and I find this amazing.
>>37 Same. As always, this seems really in character, too.
I can't wait for Medic's. And at the same time, I'm terrified at the inevitable mention of guro and such. Maybe it won't be so bad...
The sooner there's a Sniper one the better.
I actually like Demoman more now. I don't know why, but I do.
I second the Sniper motion as well.
And I thought I liked the demoman before.
I look forward to that Medic one. I hope you make a soldier one - with minimal craziness (sober/sane Soldier is my favorite of them all).
Taking some cannon into consideration, I'd think Soldier wouldn't be /as/ insane as a lot of people say but still thinking back to his class's video he IS a little bit insane.
Well obviously soldier isn't as insane as everyone thinks.
After all, he has the ability to be out in public with friends and ladies.
ooooooh, I really like this
Haha, oh Soldier. I was kinda hoping everyone would forget about you and that no one notice when I left you out.
In all seriousness, though, I do plan to do all of the classes at some point, though due to my utter lack of comfort with his character, he will probably go last. Yes, even after Pyro.
Medic is next, followed by Sniper, and that's for sure. Then it's either Engineer or Spy, and after those two Pyro.
And then Soldier gorramit.
Thanks for all the continued support, everyone!
Could there be a Saxton Hale one?
Oh dear god, that would be hilarious!
I second this!
Holy shit you're a fucking genius. Yes, I will totally do a Saxton Hale one when I'm done with the other classes.
Sorry I've been all of the slow lately. Midterms have been kicking my ass.
(Babies you amaze me.)
Shameless self-bump is shameless and bumpy, but I don't want this thread to fall off the board before I finish this series.
Oh, I can't wait for the Medic one! (it doesn't help one bit that he is currently my favourite of these guys) Can't wait, I tell you!
If you really are struggling with Soldier's character, I would love to offer my assistance if it's something you feel you'd need help with. (I could probably end up writing it myself, but I don't want to butt in on your brain child without permission.)
I'm going to try it first, but I will certainly keep your offer in mind. Perhaps you would be willing to beta it and see how IC you think it is?
I think this is my favorite thing on the chan. And I like pretty much everything on here, so that says a lot!
bumping so we dont lose this.
Can has Sniper?
Can has Spy??
This post has been deleted.
Oh my god. You guys. You guys. You guys are the best.
I had a clever line about midterms magically turning into finals without my being aware of it but the truth is there is just a lot of life stuff happening right now.
But I have far from abandoned this series and it means so much to me that people keep saving this thread from oblivion.
FOR SOME CONCRETE NUMBERS I have seven out of ten written for Medic, which means I should be able to get my ass in gear and finish his up soon, unless something else big comes up. I hope that helps at least a little bit.
Thanks again, everyone!
Metaphorically clapping my hands with glee at the prospect of Medic.
I don't even have words for how much I love this. It's so very good. I'm eagerly awaiting more.
DAMMIT GUYS STOP BUMPING THE THREAD AND MAKING ME THINK THERE'S AN UPDATE
Hey, what you doin' all the way back here? Im gonna bump you up, 'cause you're awesome.
BUMP like a boss. I am very eagerly awaiting more.
Dammit. I keep hoping there's an update.
HOLY SHIT, IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS? AN ACTUAL UPDATE? YEAHHHHHHH BOY.
Let's just pretend that I was writing this and NOT playing Portal 2 for the last 2 weeks intermittently between finals.
TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU WANT TO FUCK MEDIC
1. Medic’s attitude in bed is pretty much what you’d expect it to be, given his attitude on the battlefield. True, he accepted the job from the Mann brothers because he didn’t have anywhere else to go, but the fact that Medic gets off on blood was an added bonus – one that carries over to the bedroom. He doesn’t feel quite the same desire to hack apart his bed partners as he does his enemies, but blood still acts as his ultimate aphrodisiac. A split lip, deep lines scratched on a pale back, or an abdomen just nicked with a scalpel can get Medic “fully charged” faster than anything else.
2. Zhe hurting might be more satisfying zhan zhe healing, but that’s a fairly one-way street. As fond as he is of inflicting a bit of pain on others, he is far less keen on being on the receiving end of it – especially if it leaves a mark. Medic belongs to no one, and the punishment for trying to brand him can be less than pleasant.
3. Hidden under his left glove rests a wedding ring. Medic’s relationship with his wife is unconventional at best, but it works for them. The feeling they hold towards one another is probably the closest either will ever get to love, but it’s not enough that they feel chained to each other.
Both of them have numerous affairs and neither of them cares. Their marriage is a business, not a romance, and their partnership only came about thanks to a mutual understanding that neither of them are compatible with monogamy.
(He does wish she’d choose someone besides that drunken Cyclops, though.)
4. But don’t worry – you’ll never see the ring. Medic refuses to take his clothes during sex. He sees no reason to make something as simple as fucking so personal; it just makes things messy, and Medic does hate mess.
5. Like any good man of science, Medic is always interested in experimentation, and that includes in sex.
You just have to agree to be the guinea pig.
6. The restraints are for your own protection.
7. Medic is a manipulator. Armed with an expert’s knowledge of human anatomy and deft hands borne from years of surgical precision, Medic can turn a routine check-up into much more before you even know what’s happening. His fingers know how to subtly caress the inside of a thigh, the pulse on a neck, and the arch of a foot – what should be innocent touches, but end up being straight shots of arousal. And once you’re in that state, it’s only his duty as your doctor to help you relieve your tension.
Of course, as his patient, he will expect you to… pay him back for services rendered, but that can come later, so just relax and let him take care of you – this won’t hurt a bit.
8. Often, Medic will refuse to touch during sex. Much of the time he prefers to just watch, to observe like a good man of science. Getting more directly involved skews data collection and creates personal biases; when he dedicates himself to just observing, his keen eyes never miss a single detail.
9. As much as Medic disdains unnecessary displays of feeling, he cannot escape his own emotions, and most of them are quite frankly rooted in rage. Medic is not a kind or gentle bed partner, and to expect him to show any sign of tenderness from beginning to end is to be a fool.
10. Medic is at his core a scientist, and the only relationship he has the time or patience for is his marriage to his work. He doesn’t care about your feelings, and he will always view more as a test subject than partner.
But that doesn’t stop the sex from being fantastic.
Thanks for not giving up on me, everyone, and for saving this thread more times than I care to count! In a brighter note, I should be much quicker now since I am officially on summer vacation~~~. Seriously, I feel like I need some fucking sparkly text or something to explain my UTTER JOY at being done with finals.
Next up is my favourite kawaii snoipah-chan uguu~
This Medic is terrifying, desirable, the ne plus ultra of my medical fetish. Well done. I'm glad to see this update.
>>68 I think I came, merely from the realization that there was a real update.
Awesome guide, but I'm pretty sure I'd never bang Medic. Don't care much for being a guinea pig. Knew that'd happen, though, and I can't wait to see what you do for Sniper.
All my romantic views on Medic were destroyed. Yeah! *trows arms in the air* This can become frankly my personal headcanon for Medic. (While i quietly sob deep inside of me.) Still i wasn´t so happy to get my heartbroken for quite some time.
I'm so happy that Sniper is next.
This is a terrifying medic. I don't think i've ever been so aroused and nervously uncomfortable at the same time before.
Yay, mission accomplished! In case there is still anyone who hasn't figured it out, I choose these based off of the trivia on the official TF2 wiki pages under /heavy/ influence from my own personal head canons, and my head canon for Medic will always be that he's a creepy, angry bastard (and at least a Nazi sympathizer, but I know most people don't agree with me on that point, so eh).
Holy shit, this gets me places so much you don't even know it. I certainly wouldn't mind signing up to be his guinea pig...
THE MERE THOUGHT OF SNIPER BEING NEXT IS ENOUGH TO SEND ME INTO FITS OF PLEASURE.
Sniper is next? Hell yes that is awesome.
I guess Gabe approves too.
Will you ever do Pyro, or is that one too difficult?
*has a feeling Pyro would be into masks and.or bondage*
Yes! I already actually have a couple of ideas for Pyro. That one will come after Spy and before Soldier.
I really am enjoying this one. I had my doubts given the difficulty of getting 'group of mercenaries' to 'prancing around in pinup poster attire' but you did it and it's bloody hilarious.
Don't forget melted wax for the Pyro, too. I have a feeling that would be right up his alley... and maybe even a latex fetish. Y'know, where you paint your partner with liquid latex and rip it off at the end...
His fingers know how to subtly caress the inside of a thigh, the pulse on a neck, and the arch of a foot – what should be innocent touches, but end up being straight shots of arousal. And once you’re in that state, it’s only his duty as your doctor to help you relieve your tension.
Also, sniper, let him be about doing it dirty, literally dirty like with dust and mud.
What's this? BUMP
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BUMP
You got my hopes up and then destroyed them.
May I refer >>85 to >>84?
bump for greatness
Stop bumping this damn thing, and giving me false hope about the Sniper update.
There's no rule against bumping threads. Complaining about the bumping of threads used to be a bannable offense, though. Calm yourself down, it's only fanfiction.
I have just finished reading through these. I'll admit, the title sorta turned me off at first but i keep seeing it pop back up so i figured "why not!" i love it! each one seems to fit each character so perfectly im very excited for the next one to be Sniper, hes always been my favorite class since the begging, his character is very interesting and it will be fun to read what you come up with. also look forward to when you do Solly eventually (hopefully)i don't have a great love for Solly but it will be very interesting to say the least.
Have you guys seen Meet the Medic? Haha oh man it was GLORIOUS.
Oh and also have an update from me.
Ten Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Sniper
1. Sniper prefers to do the deed in the dark. It’s not that he’s embarrassed or self-conscious; he’s just tired. After spending the entire behind a scope, his eyes need a rest, and when the darkness of night slips over his retinas, to him it feels like the slide of silk on skin.
2. To make up for not seeing anything, Sniper becomes very handsy. He maps out trails on chests and thighs, memorizing the topography of your body.
3. Growing up on the outback left Sniper with dubious ideas of hygiene. When he has sex, he never bothers to clean up beforehand, and often you can still feel a layer of dirt and sweat from his day’s work.
4. Jarate isn’t just for the battlefield.
5. Despite his well-deserved confidence as an assassin, Sniper is actually quite clumsy in the bedroom. The outback can be a lonely place, and while he’s well acquainted with his right hand, add in another person and suddenly everything goes to hell in a handbasket.
He needs guidance. Be patient with him – he’s a fast learner.
6. Sniper will rarely make the first move. He may be able to shoot a coin out of the sky a mile away, but his ability to read other people often leaves something to be desired. Rather than put his neck on the line, he prefers to wait for others to approach him – however long that wait might be.
7. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t hope. In fact, he has a whole room dedicated to his hopes in the back of his van. His parents gave him his camper as gift for his eighteenth birthday, and ever since then, he’s been sinking money into it to make it as perfect as he can. His biggest splurge was on his slide-out bedroom, complete with quilted queen-size bed.
As it stands, he might not have had as many sexual adventures on it as he may have hoped, but it is, at least, considerably better than any bed Redmond or Blutarch provide.
8. In the heat of doing the deed, Sniper has a tendency to slip back into his slang. It may not mean much to you, but “cracking a fat” is a good thing in this case, and should he ever say, “Harder, harder av-a-go-yer-mug!” while tugging on your shoulders, well, just pay attention to the first part.
9. Sniper has been a smoker for as long as he can remember, and remains quite fond of a post-coital cigarette. Whenever asked, he will claim that it adds to the atmosphere, but one look at his blessed-out face should be all it takes it tell you that the combination nicotine and orgasms is his own personal heaven, that no number of headshots could ever equal.
10. Sniper works in contradictions. On the one hand, he is the perfect professional, executing his targets politely, efficiently, and with a plan; he treats his peers with respect and level-headedly. On the other hand, he’s a bushie who suffers from more than a little social ineptitude and wouldn’t know sophistication if it shot him in the face or stabbed him in the back (and Spy has tried several times).
The bottom line is that being with Sniper is like walking a tightrope. Risky, and leaning too far in either direction could lead you plummeting to your death, but strike the right balance and it can be the most exhilarating experience of your life.
Sniper, I main as you. y u no write easy?
In other news, I have a full-time job now, but instead of slowing me down, that'll probably mean that I'll just get more done during breaks, so hopefully future updates won't take too long.
Next up is Spy, as soon as I can ignore to ridiculous urge to write Saxton Hale/Cave Johnson porn.
Meet the Medic is out and now this wonderful update is posted? Life is good.
... I love you. So much.
Keep it up! I can't wait for the Spy to come next.
There /is/ a God...
>>91 Sign me up to walk that tightrope, motherfucker. Love it. Love everything about it.
Except the Jarate. But really, you can't do Sniper without some mention of Jarate.
You've really got these characters down pretty good. I can't wait to see more from you.
Another brilliant installment!
Don't resist the urges.
Write Cave Johnson and SAXTON HALE in all their glory.
i would so give Sniper a try and walk over that tight rope to his heart.
I can roll with this Sniper.
This is glorious.
Please don't stop with the updates.
Please don't tell me you stopped. :(
FOR FUCK'S SAKE, PEOPLE!!!
Just because she doesn't update every time you bitch and whine, it doesn't mean she's given it up forever! It means SHE HAS A GODDAMN FUCKING LIFE, and you probably need to get one, too! I'd RATHER she'd take her time and give us something worth the wait than something rushed out of the door because some of her fans are being intolerable pricks!
And, for the record, it hasn't even BEEN that long - maybe a few weeks. If it was a few MONTHS, I'd understand, but you guys are just being immature! Some people update slower than others - get over it. It's not like /afanfic/ isn't brimming with other talented writers you can check up on while you wait!
Sorry bitchrant like this, but I get really pissy when people start rushing authors and artists like that. If you're REALLY so desperate to see more of this, here's a hint, TRY WRITING IT YOURSELF. That's why I became a writer - because I wanted to see stuff get done, but I didn't want to request it from my favorite writer, so I tried doing it by myself, and holy hell, it WORKED. Try it sometime.
God damn it. I need a fucking smoke.
I hardly think two posts asking if she has stopped warrants a response like this. Please do not muddy this thread with rantings. It is too fun, hilarious, and genius for that.
I understand frustrations, but please take a step back to think if it is really worth posting something like this in the future.
And Sidi, I am such a fan and eagerly await the next installment. They just keep getting better and better!
God damn it. I need a fucking smoke.
That you do.
Whatever. I don't apologize for what I said - people need to stop assuming talented writers like this only to hand them fantastic works on a silver platter. The occasional "This is really good! Can't wait for more!" doesn't bother me, but it pisses me off when people are like, "OH NOES SHE HASN'T UPDATED FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK! SHE'S GONE FOREVER OORRRZZZZ". And don't even get me started about meaningless bumps.
I had a good laugh. Cry some moar. People do it all the time and it was nice to see you get mad over two posts in this thread so far. If I say, these meaningless bumps could also help make the thread stay away from the dying or forgotten ones if desired hard enough. Calm down or just take it out some where other than the internet that may not care in general?
It's just that time of the month I suppose,
but you guys are just being immature
REAL MATURE, BRADLEY
This is all I could think of.
Look at me, I'm bumping this. Bawl at me, I love it. It's only got one spot to move up the list anyways.
I completely forgot about this thread.
Wow, just read this and it's great! Even though each vignette is focused solely on the subject of sex and each character's relationship with it you really managed to provide a thorough and vivid image of each character's larger life.
I love that: a simple format presentation of a single subject that looks like pulpy humor at first glance, but through good writing turns into a revealing window that shows the sad, funny, frightening, and weird inner lives of the men it explores.
Thank you for writing this, and I look forward to more.
(sorry, is it ok to talk about the story now? Or did you guys want to keep going with that... whatever is going on up there?)
cant wait to see more.
So here is a thing.
Listen guys, I'm so sorry for my lack of updates and, well, my complete silence since - Oh Jesus, June 24th. I've had a shit couple of weeks ultimately ending in me quitting my job, but I just want you guys to know: your continued support means the world to me, and I will never give up on this series. I will complete it if it kills me.
You are all lovely and gorgeous. I hope you enjoy this installment.
10 Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Spy
1. The first thing you need to know is that Spy has gotten more tail in his relatively short career than most people get in a lifetime. His job has taken him across the world, and his charm has landed him in the beds of hundreds, both men and women. Spy excels at what he knows best, and sex? Is something of which he has experience in spades.
2. As much as possible, Spy likes to fuck from behind. It may be a bit paranoid, but he feels more comfortable when he can keep his eyes on his partner’s back.
3. You have to understand; Spy just has certain facial features that he’s attracted to. Most of the time, these traits are passed on from parent to child, so when Spy finds someone he finds physically appealing, it’s not rare for him to find the same traits attractive in their families.
(He’ll win you yet, boy. Just you wait.)
4. Spy tries to always videotape his sexual encounters, whether or not his partner is aware of the camera. Part of this is because the narcissist in him likes watching himself during his alone time, but mostly it’s because you never know when you’re going to need to blackmail someone.
5. The balisong isn’t just a knife to Spy – it’s an extension of himself. He wields that blade like he was born with it. He loves to watch the light glint off of it as it flashes across skin – not penetrating, just gliding over. It’s the adrenaline Spy loves, not the blood, whether it’s him on the end of that knife or someone else.
6. In order to properly do his job – to truly disguise himself as another – Spy sometimes has to twist himself in all sorts of uncomfortable ways. It’s rare that he’ll go that far for sex, but if you can manage to convince him to contort for you – well, let’s just say that some of the shapes he can force his body into are, ahem, impressive.
7. Unsurprisingly, Spy likes to roleplay in bed. Seventy-five percent of his job is to pretend to be other people, and after several years he’s found that not only is he a good actor, but it’s also something he enjoys doing. The acting of playing a role in itself brings him great pleasure and excitement, whether it be something contrite and cliché, like a French maid or demanding boss, or a role that requires a bit more skill.
8. For Spy, there is almost as much pleasure in removing a costume as in putting one on. He adores the act of stripping: the slow, sensual slide of fine cloth over his skin; the sharp bite of cold air on newly exposed flesh. He appreciates it as the art form he knows it can be.
He ends a role when he takes off a costume, but that only means the start of a new one. Stripping is as much a performance as any other part of his life, and he appreciates the attention it garners him.
9. But no matter what role he plays, what costume he wears, the one thing that will never, ever change is the balaclava. You will never see him take it off. He lives in it, eats in it, showers in it, fucks in it, sleeps in it. At some point, it stopped being a mask, and became his face.
10. Spy is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue, express mailed to Mystery, Alaska. He keeps his secrets close to his heart, has eyes and ears everywhere, and never truly relaxes.
You may never really know what he’s thinking, but maybe that’s okay. Where it counts, his actions speak loud enough for the truths his mouth refuses to reveal.
Yaaaaaaaay updates. Anyway, next up is Engineer. (Is that a wrench in your toolbelt or are you just- /shot). Before I do that, though, I might try to write this Medic/Pyro thing I've had kicking around for a while in time for my birthday next week.
WELP whatever I decide to do, there shall be porn.
P.S. I actually found the thread derailment incredibly flattering. It was like people were arguing over the best way to be nice to me. That said, let's all just get along. This is a fun sexy place, and we're all fun sexy people, right? Right.
Yay! Everything I said before still stands. This is an excellent chapter.
Also: Happy Birthday!
Oh it's perfect. I cannot wait till you finish Engie's.
These are AWESOME. Much love, looking forward to whenever the next one comes along.
A fic with PYRO in it?!?
I LOVE YOU (more)
And happy early birthday!
Today just got a whole lot better.
Seriously, I cannot wait till Engineers.
Oh please. I have been waiting for you to do Engineer since you started this!
oh gosh. I love this thread so much. All of these are very detailed and the personalities are spot-on.
He’ll win you yet, boy. Just you wait.
Ahahaha oh my god. A match made in Hell, and yet I would backstab one of my OWN family members to see it.
On a slightly more serious note . . . I'm sorry to hear that the world dumped some shit on you, Insidiae. Just remember that all the fun sexy people are on your side. Take as much time as you need to take to do whatever it is you need to do, and I'm sure it is all going to work out just fine.
"I would backstab one of my OWN family members to see it."
...I'm really glad I'm not related to you anon 120.
Oh god I hate you with the burning passion of a thousand suns
fuckin' 'ell, mate
YESS! I loved spoihs! Cant wait for engi x3
whoa what do you think this is a necro-update? bitch you best be trollin'
Nope sorry this shit is for real. Consider this story not abandoned.
TEN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU WANT TO FUCK ENGINEER
1. Engineer is a gentleman. He believes in relationships, and doing things right proper. Oh sure, the sex is nice – the sex is /really/ nice – but it don’t matter a bit if there’s no feeling behind it.
2. He finds intelligence to be damn sexy, which really isn’t all that surprising. The man does have eleven hard science PhDs, after all. Anyway, the point is that Engineer is turned on by more than just a hot body.
3. Which isn’t to say that hot bodies don’t have their place with him. In fact, don’t tell anyone, but Engineer is a bit of size queen. He supposes it probably has something to do with his being so short, but it may equally be part of the Texan mentality: bigger is better.
4. Of course, the whole size thing is a double-edged sword with Engineer, who, in many cases, is just looking for the strongest person to try his new inventions against. This rings especially true in regards to the Gunslinger.
Here’s the thing: Engineer has searched long and hard, but there is just not a single submissive bone in his body, and nothing pleases him more than rolling on top of his partner and pinning them down to whatever hard surface they happen to be on with the long, nimble fingers of the Gunslinger. The robotic hand is his chef d’oeuvre, his masterpiece; it has the agility of a pianist’s hands and all of the force and power of a semi and in his control it can provide both the softest caresses and the strongest holds.
5. Though the Gunslinger is his favorite, it is far from the only toy he has for the bedroom. Engineer’s goal is to invent devices that make life easier, and while most of his efforts go to his team, he makes an effort to mix work with pleasure.
(But in all seriousness, no one makes a better vibrator than him.)
6. Engineer is nothing if not resourceful. His whole thing is looking at problems and finding practical solutions to them. He also can appreciate the various uses a single object can have.
Take duct tape, for example. On the one hand, it is an excellent industrial adhesive that can keep all of his wires in their proper places.
On the other hand, it can also be used to keep someone’s hands attached firmly to, oh, a headboard, for instance. Just saying.
7. Engineer love love loves electricity. It’s what sparked his passion for science in the first place, and to this very day, few things delight him quite like watching the leaps between positive and negative charges.
Electricity is what keeps all his machines hopping, and, after a bit of experimenting, Engineer discovered that it could make people hop, too. Now he keeps a violet wand under his bed for special occasions. It’s a pretty little thing in the shape of a rake, and little jolts of electricity spark out of each of its teeth. Engineer always grins when he uses it, unable to hold back when watching his bedmates jump.
8. The Respectless Rubber Glove is a thing that exists. Neither Engineer nor Pyro have any desire to discuss how it got its name, or how it ended up in Pyro’s possession.
9. Engineer really does enjoy taking care of his partners. He is well aware that his preferences in bed can put most people through the wringer, so he puts it upon himself to take care of them afterwards.
He takes a special pleasure in washing his partners, most of whom are too exhausted to move post-coitus. He keeps a towel near the sink next to his bed, and he relishes wiping down his bedmates after a romp. Making them presentable again.
Practical solutions for practical problems.
10. As cool as he plays himself to be in the real world, behind closed doors Engineer is honestly kind of a hot mess. He’s a perfect gentleman in the wooing stage, but once he’s got you in his bed, it’s a whole different story. Really, it’s all very Jekyll and Hyde, except with less murder (on most days) and more sex.
But he guesses some people are into that, and if it’s okay with them, well, it’s just fine by him.
Oh no big deal self it's only been five months.
Anyways, you all have my apologies for the amount of time this update took. But like I said, I am not going to abandon this series until it is is /done/. However long that may take.
I'm going to try to crank out Pyro's within the next month, but we all know how I am with updating at this point, so. In any case, at the end of January I'll be studying abroad for five months in a country with very limited internet access, so that will be a dead zone.
But thanks to everyone who has stuck with me through all of this! We're not done yet!
Yay, update. It's okay if there'll be a long time before the next. I'll wait, and I'm pretty sure everyone else will too. Keep up the good work and don't ever stop writing.
(Should I sage...
Maybe I should, just in case.)
I think my brain just shorted out - it's not really meant to handle such large amounts of glee.
You say "it's only been five months" as though five months is too long to wait for something this good.
You've got such a great handle on everybody, all I want to do is swoon, and then pick myself up and try harder next time. Number four is probably my favorite - the whole thing builds so nicely, but that one really stands out.
I totally thought this was another necropost and prepared to rage. Then it wasn't. All my love!
And this part too—guh! The bits about the Gunslinger were just perfect. Thank you so much for not abandoning this!
Oh yes. I feel like putting all ten of these in the request thread. I HUNGER.
This is just pretty much the best thing ever. I really like how you put their character even into these situations... Most people tend to just slap their kinks onto a character so it's amazing to see this!
I crave the part with pyro and will fidget in my seat until you update. Patiently.
...wonderful. I've found good characterizations of Engie as both dominant and submissive, so in my headcanon he switches. But I'll accept this as a great interpretation. I blame the line with the Gunslinger. Gotta love a gentleman with a dom side.
That's what I'd say about most of these "Ten Things You Want To Know" chapters. I don't necessarily agree with each of them, but I'm fascinated by each interpretation. For example, in my headcanon, the Medic (very) sparsely doles out excitement/affection as further incentive for his lovers to please him and crave his "tests." You've written a more brutal Medic who does away with that completely, but little details like how he wants "guinea pigs" and how the restraints are for their own protection are funny and witty; they give your interpretations enough characterization to stand on their own feet. Good job.
That's what I love about TF2. The classes have little backstory or round personalities, but the bits they do have are lively and open to a world of speculation and legit fan theories. So it's always interesting seeing how other people view my favorite characters.
The Engineer post is up. Pyro is next. Today is payday.
It is a damn fine day.
I was just looking for this fic yesterday, but was too tired to find it.
This is all brilliant!
Pyro is next? Oooh, I'll be interested to see this one!
The Medic and Sniper ones shattered all my expectations, but you've done a great job of keeping everyone in character, and dammit I love them all! I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the classes.
Agreed, Mimi. It's not just true about the characters, though. The TF2 universe as a whole is established enough for people to know what's going on, yet open-ended enough for fans to work a lot of imaginative magic. I find that I tend to fall in love with games, shows, etc. that leave a lot to the fandom's imagination, and TF2 is no exception.
Oh you guys are just the sweetest sweetums. Thank you so much!
I'm glad you guys enjoy my interpretations. One of the problems of this series is that I REALLY have to force my own headcanons of the characters onto them, because that's pretty much what each of these - chapters? segments? fuck if I know - are about. It is nice to see that I make a convincing argument for my beliefs about these fine characters!
In other news I am struggling to not make Pyro's just a series of incomprehensible "hudda hudda hurrs". My self-restraint truly knows no bounds.
Happy New Year everyone!
Also if anyone tumbls, I now have a tumblr at diae.tumblr.com. I'd love to love at you there!
I think that would actually be kinda fun to read, myself. It'd be kind of like a game of trying to interpret all the "hudda hudda hurr" that vaguely resembles English.
Happy New Year!
Holy crap, it didn't wordfilter! Maybe things have changed? Anyway, I shall have to add you. I'm thatfoulmouthedsniper.tumblr.com, btw.
>>141 The moderator's note explains the changes they made, including getting rid of the filters.
I don't have a tumblr, but I lurk there so I'll love you over there! Even if it's a mite one-sided.
Just have to say, all of what you have written is amazing, I can't believe I haven't found this sooner. The engineer one was particularly hot, wish I could find one like him in RL.
Done within the amount of time I said I would take? IT'S A NEW YEAR MIRACLE.
Note: There are gender-neutral pronouns used all up in this chapter. I use "zie" "hir" and "hirself".
10 Things You Should Know if You Want to Fuck Pyro
1. Pyro was born intersexed; specifically, as a child with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Although Pyro looked like a girl, hormonally, reproductively, and genotypically, the child was male, and in a decision that made her husband very uneasy, Pyro’s mother – a very progressive woman for her time – chose to raise her child as neither male nor female.
For the most part, it doesn’t bother Pyro, but sometimes zie can’t help but wonder where zie fits in.
2. But honestly, Pyro has more to worry about than the fleeting moments of body dysphoria. Really, that only becomes a problem with potential partners if they can manage to get past the horrible burn scarring over fifty percent of hir body.
See, when zie was kid, Pyro had a bad habit of literally playing with fire. One day zie did it a little too close to gas station, and, well, boom.
It didn’t stop hir love of fire, but it did have a lasting impact.
3. As they say, though, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen, and Pyro never could stay away from the fire. After the accident, Pyro’s mother tried to get hir to play with fire in safer ways, taking away hir flamethrower and replacing it with candles. At first, Pyro was incredibly put out, but then zie discovered wax.
Now there are few things Pyro enjoys more than the feeling of hot, liquid wax sliding down hir skin, spreading in a lava-like trail that reawakens dead, scarred nerve endings Pyro never thought zie would feel again.
4. Pyro spends all day, everyday inside a hot rubber suit and after all these years latex has become something like a second skin to hir. That’s why Pyro likes to layer it onto hir bed partners.
There is just something incredibly intimate about painting another person from head to toe in skintight latex and then ripping it all off them. If they’re willing to return the favour, well, even better.
5. After being burned so badly, Pyro became pretty heavy into body modification – it makes hir feel like zie had some control over the way zie looks. Pyro is particularly fond of branding for all the same reasons that zie likes the wax - the bright, beautiful pain of it, the intense power behind the iron – and now has seven brands: one on hir chest, two on each arm, and one on either side of hir hips, on the small portion of hir skin there that hadn’t already been burned beyond repair before.
As much as zie loves being branded, what Pyro really hopes is that one day, zhe’ll find someone who trusts hir enough to let hir return the favour.
6. Pyro is ambidextrous. While this becomes most helpul when Pyro wants to switch quickly from the flamethrower to the Axetinguisher, it has its uses outside of battle, too.
7. The gas station incident caused irreparable damage to Pyro’s lungs, resulting in several pulmonary conditions. You would think that this might give Pyro some anxiety about strenuous activity, but the truth is quite the opposite; in fact, Pyro quite enjoys being choked – just little – during sex.
Yes, Pyro can admit to being a bit of a masochist, but zie like hir pain sharp and hot. After so much exposure to flames on the outside, Pyro appreciates the way a little choking can make hir burn on the inside.
8. Pyro doesn’t trust easy, and there’s a reason zie keeps hir identity covered. If you do start something with Pyro, you better not be into public displays of affection, because it just isn’t going to happen.
9. With very few exceptions, Pyro will request to be gagged during sex. Partly this is because Pyro is a screamer and knows it, but mostly it is because zie doesn’t want anyone to hear hir real voice. After spending so much time hiding behind a rubber suit, it feels strange to Pyro to just open everything up – legs, heart, and mouth.
10. Pyro is a giant, jumbled ball of fire fetishes wrapped in a coating of terrible body image. Getting through hir defenses can be a challenge both on and off the battlefield, but at least in the case of the latter, it can be well worth it.
Yay! Now all I have to do is Soldier (and maybe Saxton). Will I get it done before I go away in a week? Maybe! Is it likely? Not even a little!
But I do hope you all enjoyed this part and that it will help tide you over what may very end up being a five month wait for the next part.
I know I should be thinking about the way Pyro's fetishes are portrayed, but the foremost thing on my mind is that I love the gender-neutral pronouns. Just two days ago I played a video game which touched on the idea of gender-neutral pronouns in English, and I thought it would be wonderful if they could be used more often.
Who knew I'd be seeing some of the exact same pronouns from the game used in your story?! I'm very pleasantly surprised. It gives me hope that a century or two from now, these pronouns would commonly be used among English-speakers. Yeah, I know that it seems like a dramatic change, but Shakespearean characters couldn't imagine an English language without "hither" and "thither" or "thee" and "thou."
Wow, on top of that being very believable, it was really interesting as well. I learned about a few new things, such as those "zie" "hir" and "hirself" pronouns. I feel kind of dumb for not ever hearing about them before, especially 'cause I only really speak English, but ah well. I know about 'em now!
Anyways, I can't wait for Solly's.
This focused a little more on pyro's past and a little less on pyro's.. erm.. fetishes.
And while I love it to death, I guess I was simply hoping for more boner inducing narrative like the scout's was. Derp.
But that is just me. It is terrific anyway, and I quite look forward to soldier and maybe sexton hale.
You have promised us Saxton Hale.
Will you be doing the Announcer too? Perhaps Miss Pauling? Mister Bidwell?
Sorry people, no update for you. Yes, I am bumping this, because damnit this thread deserves a bump. Even if it's just for the people who never look past the first page, or those who are still silently waiting, like me.
Poor Soldier, still no little checklist to call his own...
That aside, I hope life hasn't been dropping too much shit on you, Insidiae.(USER WAS BANNED FOR BEING A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT THAT REFUSES TO FOLLOW THE RULES)(USER WAS BANNED FOR BEING A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT THAT REFUSES TO FOLLOW THE RULES)
why would you do that
theres no need to bumb a dead thread its obvious when threads have died you just move on
>>150 See that thread stickied at the very top of the forum. "Moderator's Note - Please Read?"
WHERE IS SOLDIER WE WANT SOLDIER I'M DYING HERE
...God DAMN IT!!
Write in email field, before you click reply, the following words: "sage". There's no need, as said above, to bump up a dead thread!
Well, I doubt the author will ever see this, but in case they do check back at any point, I figured I'd just say YES, Pyro. I, personally, like the gender-neutral angle with Pyro (seems to me a slyly subversive way to question binarism and genital essentialism with relation to a fictional video game character that a whole lotta people seem to think needs some kind of abject delinneation; no offense to anyone who does write or draw the character as cis, I mean heck, for the purposes of y!gallery I drew a LOT of male Pyro, yeah? Just, this is cool too, right?) and this is the best I've seen for writing that character trait. YES. Also, burns, scars, fire, branding? I can so jive with this Pyro... I mean DUR there's a reason the li'l shambling firebug is my favourite class. I can't get enough fireplay and scars in this fandom. YES. YESSSS.
I almost want to know more about hir mother's decision to encourage playing with hot wax. Was it like, "Here, pumpkin, why don't you try dipping your fingertips in this votive, today, instead of putting your wrists on the stove? Look, it's even your favourite colour, and you can dip your fingers and let the wax dry, then dip them again and make layers. I'll set it right here on this dish so if it tips over nothing bad will happen, okay? And it's cinnamon spice scented! Tomorrow we can talk about if you like the candle. You want to sit with Mommy in the kitchen? I'm making macaroni..." Also, I wonder about hir schooling and all that. It's difficult TODAY to get people using gender-neutral pronouns (even on the campus of an art school in San Francisco. Like, WHAT?), and since TF2 apparently takes place in the late 60s and all of that 'queer stuff' was pretty new on the mainstream radar (Stonewall, anyone?) I'd imagine Pyro would have had a pretty much impossible time of it... not to mention what many would have considered 'disfiguring' burns. That is, unless Pyro was brought up in a commune or something. XD (That might just become headcanon for me. It's funny because, Saxton Hale. It's all, "The sign said, 'Long-haired freaky people need not apply'." I like secret hippie childhood Pyro. Heee.)
Also rawwrr the quick and dirty aspects of your Sniper. <3
I know this is a really nit picky detail... However in Germany the wedding ring is worn on the right hand, not the left. The more you know!