10:45 PM - r_Contra: should i write 10:46 PM - r_Contra: soldier/bucket porn 10:46 PM - r_Contra: because i already know 10:46 PM - r_Contra: what i want to do 10:46 PM - Cat Bountry: With Shovel being cuckolded. 10:46 PM - r_Contra: Done. 10:47 PM - r_Contra has changed their name to r_Contra is writing. Dying wish. It hadn't ever been something Jane Doe spent much of his time thinking about. He'd died too many times to count, mostly at the hands of people that looked exactly like him- but were probably Communists, all things considered- and others who resembled his teammates yet somehow were not. The Medic and Engineer had explained their Respawn Hypothesis to him and the rest of the team a few years ago, but Jane had already long forgotten the specifics and just preferred to stick with his Shovel. The RED Soldier gave a guilty gulp. Oh, Shovel. He'd almost forgotten. Soldier's room in RED base was fairly clean and organized, minus the box of heds bleeding onto the floor in the corner and his trusty Shovel laying on the nightstand, watching him as he rubbed the bucket on his desk. "What's that, Shovel?" he asked, "What am I doing?" He swallowed, growing nervous. He hadn't been interrogated like this since his tour in Germany, where those men in white asked him what the eagle-y hell was going on in his brain. "I'm...inspecting Bucket, that's all." Jane said. Shovel didn't like that. You named it!? "Don't-" Soldier pulled his Bucket close, possessively, "Don't get the wrong idea, Shovel! It's not like that!" It is, isn't it!? Soldier sighed. Shovel always knew, no matter how hard he tried to trick her. "Yes, Shovel." Jane said, resigned, "You don't need to see this." Soldier wrapped his left arm around his precious Bucket and walked over to his nightstand, taking a moment to flip his shovel over so that the dented side of the blade was facing the wood. He set the bucket- his Bucket- on his bed on its side, its tantalizing, wide opening facing him. "'Cmere, pumpkin..." Jane said, pulling Bucket closer to the edge of the bed and starting to unzip his pants. What- what was that!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM? Jane sighed and shut his eyes, releasing his straining erection from its prison and grasping the body of his penis like a Scout's neck, beginning to tug up and downward while maintaining a firm grip. M-master! It's okay, Private Bucket, Soldier thought, gasping at the sensations he was feeling, I'll take good care of you. Oh...okay... Stop it, Soldier! Shovel cried, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears, I- I- Oh. Oh God, oh sweet George Washington, this was too much for him... M-master? Bucket asked in that cute little voice of his, Are you close? "Quiet, Private!" Soldier groaned, "Don't- don't-" Please! "I'm-" Jane shouted, "In-coming! Take it like a man, Private Bucket!" As Soldier ejaculated into his bucket, Scout opened the door to ask if Soldier had any non-teleported bread left. Upon entering the room and seeing piles of loaves laying around- and the man with his crotch inside of a bucket, wild-eyed, staring at him- he moved as if he were in reverse, walking backward and shutting the door as if he had never been there. "It's okay, Major Shovel..." Soldier said, caressing his Shovel's handle, "I just needed someone better."
This is the worst thing I have ever written and I am sorry.
JESUS CHRIST CONTRA SHOVEL NTR?
I hope you're proud of yourself, young man.
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this was illarious, the best part of "love & war" indeed
The characterization of the shovel reminds me of "when a man loves a shovel", or whatever, by Marty,
I might add you on steam now just to see what you'll come up with next.
this was actually peak. absolute cinema