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This is insane (SpyxSniperxScout) (8)

1 .

(A/N: Just wrote my first fic, and I wasn't going to post it here because I figured it's dead here, but then I figured it's dead here because lack of posts. So here's the first chapter, I'll post the rest over this week if you like it.)

Summary: Sniper and Spy want Scout to join them in the bedroom. But there's no room for error in seducing your apparently-straight teammate.


"No," he asserted. The Spy and the Scout would not engage in sexual congress.

"That's what you say every time I have a good idea," said Sniper, sitting on the bed and reclining against the wall, hands behind his head.

"And I mean it every time," said Spy, standing up from the recliner.

Sniper smirked at him. "So you admit my ideas are good?"

Spy huffed and turned away, folding his hands behind his back. Yes, his partner's ideas for sexual exploration were sometimes good, even if Spy had initially refused. Some of Spy's favorite things to do in bed were things that he had originally thought to be reprehensible. Even sleeping with a man, he had thought a year ago, was for degenerates. But maybe that's what he is, now.

"Some," he admitted. "But this is insane."

"You say that all the time, too. And who doesn't like a good threesome?"

Lately, Sniper had been giving Spy pause. It was only a few months ago that they had all got drunk together, Sniper had started rambling about how their lives could end at any moment, and they should all be sure to do everything they wanted to do in the likely-short amount of time they had left. Spy admitted he had had the same thoughts. And they ended up in bed together. In the heat of passion, he thought he had made a good decision. When smoking alone and considering his own morality, he felt confused. So he stopped thinking about morals.

"But, Scout," Spy protested, and started wringing his hands. "He's her son, and...what if..."

"Christ, you ain't gonna make a baby with him," Sniper interrupted. "Look, you said it yourself: we need a bottom. You ain't gonna do it and I ain't gonna do it. He's our best bet." He sat forward and grinned. "Plus, 'ave you seen 'is arse?"

2 .

Chatper 2

Spy learned by watching. He had learned by watching Sniper how to relax in bed, how to have a good time and not worry about the consequences. It was a good lesson, Spy could sustain an erection longer if he wasn't keeping track. It seemed like that, anyway. But this week he wasn't watching Sniper, he was watching Scout.

Spy was just curious, at first. Maybe it was worth thinking about. At worst, maybe as a gift, Spy could help Sniper engage with Scout, even if Spy himself wouldn't want to participate. He tried to figure out if Scout would be receptive to a proposition, and under what circumstances. What did he like? Would he bottom? Has he done it before?

Watching Scout, he began to see why someone would be attracted to him. He was young and vivacious, hot-blooded and bombastic. Spy had found Scout's ego to be irritable before, but then, sometimes the positivity made Spy smile. Scout was confident, engaged, and always wearing a charming grin. On the field, he was fearless, yet coordinated, and even when his bones were broken and he was covered in blood, he'd joke and elbow his teammates until Medic healed him. How could someone so small, less equipped for fighting than the rest of the mercenaries, hold his own so well without complaint or fear? Spy figured it took admirable strength.

So he watched.


The following Friday, after an important battlefield win, the team was in particularly high spirits. They gathered downstairs for drinks and music. It was the perfect setting to make a proposition: lots of alcohol, yet not too far from their quarters.

Scout was sitting on a bar stool, leaning against the bar, and downing his third drink. That's when Spy and Sniper sat on either side of him. After a dozen well-received compliments, and half a dozen jokes, Sniper popped the question. "Wanna come back to our room, mate?"

"Haha yeah. Huh? What for?" asked Scout.

Sniper paused. "Coffee."

"I don't drink coffee."

Spy intervened. "He means...Scout, we think that you might enjoy a night with us."

Scout raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Spy put his hand on Scout's leg and squeezed gently. Scout looked down, and then back up to see that Spy was serious.

"Oh," he said. "I ain't gay."

"It's not gay," interjected Sniper, and Scout turned to look at him. "It's just a bit of fun."

Spy took his hand off of Scout's knee and put it on his shoulder. Scout turned back to him. "You'll love it," said Spy, looking Scout in the eyes. "If you don't, there is no need to go further than you want. But you will."

3 .

Chapter 3

As they opened the door to Sniper's room, Scout was joking and laughing. But Spy noticed that he was trembling, almost imperceptibly. Spy put his arm around Scout's waist and took off his hat with his other hand. Spy kissed Scout's temple.

Scout grinned up at him and moved to put his hands on the hem of his shirt. He pulled it over his head in one motion. "Magnifique," said Spy. Scout grinned and took his hat back, put it back on his head.

The trio stripped down to their boxers. Spy wore a mask, and Scout kept his hat and dog tags on. Spy sat on the bed and Scout leaned down to kiss him. The Frenchman wrapped his arms around Scout's shoulders, bringing him to sit in Spy's lap.

They held each other, chest to chest, and Spy fell backwards onto the bed. They were a mess of arms and legs, Spy's rough stubble against Scout's soft lips. "This is crazy," mumbled Scout, breathing heavily and smiling.

Sniper got up on the bed from the other side and put his hand on Scout's shoulder. Scout slowly sat upright, still straddling Spy, and started kissing Sniper. Spy looked up to see from below his two partners in passionate embrace. Spy reddened with satisfaction.

Sniper gently pulled away, with his arms around Scout's neck. "'ow's about a gobby?" he said, in the low, gruff tone that never failed to stiffen Spy's cock.

"A what?" asked Scout. The things that could get lost in translation.

"A blow job," answered Sniper.

"Oh! Uh, yeah, for sure, if that's what you want."

All three got off the bed and took off their boxers. Sniper sat back down on the edge and spread his legs. "C'mon then," he beckoned. "On your knees, mate."

"Oh," said Scout. "I thought you was offering."

"Nah mate, I ain't suckin' you off."

Scout had started to kneel, but then looked at Sniper quizzically. "Why, something wrong with givin' head?"

Spy stood up quietly beside them. He put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Of course not, mon cher. I'll service you next."

Scout shrugged and kneeled in between Sniper's legs.

With both hands, Scout started to massage the junk in front of him. He ran his right hand up the shaft and passed a thumb over the top. Sniper groaned as Scout reached out his tongue and slowly started to wet Sniper's long, dark cock. He took as much as he could in his mouth. Sniper grunted as Scout passed his tongue over the slit. "'ere's a good boy," he growled.

Scout flinched and withdrew, giving a few awkward coughs. He looked upwards, wincing. "C'mon, man, don't say stuff like that..." he implored.

"Sorry, Mate."

Scout went back in, slow and wet, engulfing Sniper's erection. But Spy noticed the younger man was flaccid. He softly put his right hand on Scout's lower back, and his left hand on Scout's left thigh. He moved his hands up and down the lithe body, slowly and gently, up his back to his shoulders, and back down to his ass. He put his hands on Scout's hips and guided them upwards, so Scout was on his knees but leaning forward into Sniper's crotch, an arm on the bed for balance.

Without taking his hands off of Scout's body, Spy moved his right hand to the younger man's outer thighs. Then he gently caressed the inner-thighs in front of him, and moved up Scout's legs. He watched and listened for a reaction from Scout, but received only patient silence. Spy reached Scout's package and palmed it. Scout only made a soft "Mm" while moving his head down over Sniper's cock. Spy took that as a signal to continue. He fondled the balls in front of him with one hand and stroked the shaft with another.

Scout was half hard when Spy moved to get the lube from the bedside drawer. He wetted his hands and kneeled behind Scout's ass again. He ran his hands over Scout's package one last time before moving to the Bostonian's crack, running his wet fingers up slowly. Spy spread Scout's cheek with his right hand and started rubbing the hole in front of him with his left thumb.

As Spy began to press his middle finger into Scout, his partner stopped sucking and turned his head around to glare at Spy. "Blimey, we were almost there..." groaned Sniper.

"Is everything alright?" asked Spy.

Scout paused. "Don't do anything crazy, alright?"

Spy smiled. "You have my word."

Scout and Spy went back to their respective tasks. Spy slowly moved his middle finger into Scout, who's ass was so tight Spy wondered if he'd even be able to fit his swollen cock inside. He would have to be patient.

4 .

It's almost disappointing how short these chapters are. It's been very quiet around here, like you said, but that's exactly why it's so refreshing to have a new fic here again. I'm surprised Spy and Sniper got Scout into their games so easily, but nonetheless I enjoy this relaxed and easy-going story. Please, do go on.

5 .

Thanks for the comment! I thought I wasn't getting any because either this place really is dead, or my fic is terrible, so I wasn't going to post the last chapter. But I will tomorrow!

I admit I've never been a big fan of long expositions or slow burn, so I typically write less vs. more. And I had to take a few liberties with the characters, making them more or less likeable, and always more gay, to get the story where I wanted it to go.

6 .

Chapter 4 (final chapter)

Spy was almost painfully erect when he started to push a second finger in. This is it, he thought. At worst, this could be masturbation fodder for months to come. If tonight went well, they could become a regular triad. A light sweat broke under his mask as he gazed at the toned, tan body in front of him--smooth and always moving, like the Scout's mother. He would scarcely be able to control himself.

Then, he felt Scout's ass clench. Scout shot up, pulling himself from Spy's fingers. Spy was afraid he had hurt the younger man. The young man straightened his back but remained kneeling. "The hell did you just call me?" he said in a high-pitched voice, facing Sniper. Spy could see from behind that Scout was clenching his fists. Lost in his reverie, Spy didn't hear what Scout had been called, or by whom, but there was only one person it could be.

"Ey, did I say you could stop?" said Sniper, glaring directly.

"No, what the fuck, man," said Scout, standing fully now, gesturing with his palms upward.

"Wot? Yer a moll, it means a slut," said Sniper, still sitting on the bed. "C'mon mate, yer giving a bloke a gobby and raring to get buggered, ain't that what makes a slut? Come on back here,"

"I know what it means--and I'm giving you a BJ because YOU wanted it!" Scout was raising his voice. "How are you gonna ask me to do something and then call me a slut for it?" Spy worried that someone outside the door would hear, and thought about how to quiet the younger man. But any interaction seemed, at this point, to likely be incendiary.

Scout took a step away. "If I'm a slut for just being with you one night," he spat, turning to face both of them, "then that must make you MEGA sluts."

Sniper jumped up. "Hey!" he barked, and grabbed the Scout's arm in a hard grip.

Spy and Scout both looked down at Scout's arm, then slowly back up to Sniper, wordless. Spy put up his hands in a peace-making gesture and moved toward them slowly. "Gentlemen," he began.

Scout's voice was low and dangerous, staring daggers at Sniper. He pronounced each word slowly. "You get your fucking hand off of my FUCKING body right now," he said.

They stared at each other for a moment. Spy looked at the Australian and spoke gently. "Cher..." he started.

Sniper broke his grip. "Mate, come on. You gonna give up now? Look at'cha. We're the best your scrawny arse is gonna get. We're doing you a favor here."

Scout opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He turned to Spy, knitting his eyebrows together and baring his teeth. It was as if the words were caught in a bottleneck in Scout's throat. Instead of yelling or striking, he turned around and strode toward the door, leaving his clothes on the floor. He put one hand on the handle and turned back to look at the both of them.

"You think doing this is a 'favor' to me? If you don't like me, then do me a favor and don't ever do me another 'favor,'" he said quietly, but forcefully. He opened the door with one hand and pointed accusatorily at the two men. Then, loudly: "And you two can go fuck yourselves."

He slammed the door behind him. A second later, the men left in the room could hear a muffled voice saying "What are you looking at?" to an unidentified passerby in the hall. Sniper sighed and sat down in the recliner. "I...I thought that would be hot," he exhaled.

"You don't know him at all," said Spy, whose words had finally caught up with him. He crossed his arms and grimaced at his partner. "That was insane."


((A/N: Sorry you thought it was going to be a relaxed story! I should do better with foreshadowing, then. The primary inspiration for this was to juxtapose different approaches to hooking up. Some of my friends are sex-positive and low-pressure, but then I know other slut-shaming, negging PUA's who make me never want to fuck a dude, ever.
But then there are other themes too: inner moral turmoil, understanding your partner.))

7 .

I didn't mind the turn of events, but I'm awfully disappointed Spy and Sniper didn't fuck each other in the end.

8 .


9 .

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