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Different Kind of Rat (3)

1 .

Retarded title is retarded. This fic is for Tetra (who provided the prompt), collab-written with wtftastic. I wrote Engie and Scout, and wtftastic wrote the brilliantly scheming Spy.


The first thing Engineer's flashlight found in the darkness of the basement was Scout's ass bouncing around as the boy rummaged through the open panel of BLU base's power generator. He was muttering to himself, digging deeper and deeper into its bowels; with every movement, Engineer could hear another part of the base losing power, from the heating in the showers ("WHAT THE BLOODY HELL, THE HOT WATER'S OUT /AGAIN/?") to the projector in Soldier's "war room" ("WHICH OF YOU SISSIFIED MAGGOTS JUST CUT OUT THE POWER YOU INTERRUPTED A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING").

He'd come to basement when the lights in his workshop had inexplicably shut off, which meant one of two things: either Medic had overloaded the circuits AGAIN trying to overclock his Medigun, or a rat had wiggled its way into the core and was chewing away at the wires. Somehow, Engineer thought as he pulled Scout from the generator by the back of his belt, this wasn't exactly the kind of rat he was thinking of.


Spy, or rather, for the moment, Scout, allowed Engineer to pull him away from the panel. He was caught, but odds were he could lure the hardhat into a false sense of security and abscond. There would be plenty of chances to invade the base at a later date.

He rubbed the back of his head weakly and laughed nervously.

"Hey Engie...uh, I wanted to see what these switches did? Haha."

"So, what are you doing down here?"


Engineer wasn't sure if Scout could see him raising his eyebrow in question. The boy's curiosity truly got the better of him sometimes, like that time he'd gotten himself trapped in a window, and he always ended up having to fix whatever Scout had broken. Engineer never really minded - his philosophy was that young people should explore their curiosities; it was learning process.

Sometimes, though, it was a bit much. He flashed the light into the panel, only to discover not only switches that were never meant to be touched flipped in a seemingly random pattern, but wires pulled out and stuck back in, a horrible disarray that looked more like his Aunt Mabel's frizzy hair on a particularly humid day.

"I'm down here because your little scurrying is making the entire base lose power, son." Engineer explained, then sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you there are just some darned things you don't need to touch?"


He grinned awkwardly at the other man, quickly sneaking the pliers into his pocket. Engineer would doubtlessly be able to fix the problem in short order.

"I know Engie, but it's not all my fault." He sighed, looking far more serious now, "Some of these wires were messed up when I got here, so I think I scared off a Spy. I'm not sure though."

He moved off to the side to allow the Engineer access to the panel. He considered simply stabbing the other man and leaving...but the idea of toying with the laborer, who was clearly at least fond of Scout, was very appealing. After all, the Engineer was usually a thorn in his side. Perhaps some childish payback was in order.


"A Spy?" Engineer was immediately on guard, tightening his hold on the flashlight. "I didn't run into anyone on the way down here, are you sure?" If there was a Spy creeping around then no wonder there had been that niggling little thought of danger in the back of his mind when the power started to short out. He couldn't always predict a Spy's presence, but lately he was getting better at it.

And now that Scout mentioned it, the room DID have a vague, ashy smell to it, almost as if cigarettes had been burning like incense before someone attempted to air out the room. Perhaps the boy hadn't been mistaken after all. And if that was the case, perhaps the Spy was still lurking around, hiding somewhere in the base with that infinite invisibility. Engineer knew the RED Spy far too well from far too many encounters; a sap here, a stab there, a trip to respawn every so often. If he'd truly been here, he hadn't left.

"You'll want to watch yourself, boy," Engineer said as he began to work at tangle of wires. "In fact, help me out, watch for me too. You never know when that yellow-bellied snake will come slithering back."


"Scout" found it hard not to laugh at Engineer's comments, but his professionalism caught up with him.

He slid easily behind the other man, looking serious. He scanned the room for anyone, but at this point in time, he was using his role as the "Spy checker" to assess how many possible exits and entrances he had to deal with. Two each...if he played his cards right, he'd be able to get out of here without too much difficulty.

He stretched out, getting ready to flee if Engineer became too suspicious.

"S-so Engie, how's it looking back there? I don't see maybe he snuck off. I promise I didn't do nothing but toggle a few switches."

He turned to watch Engineer, carefully trying to remember how the wires were worked back into their rightful places. He leaned against the other man, tying to get a closer look.


"Boy, if this is "toggling a few switches" I hate to see what you do when you actually set out to destroy something." Engineer responded, but there was a chuckle in his voice. Spy or no, being around Scout always managed to relax him a little bit, and occasionally obliging to the yells of "NEED A DISPENSER HERE" and fixing whatever mess Scout managed to get himself into again seemed a fair trade for the ease-of-mind and endless amusement and the mindblowing sex he got in return.

"Don't be too sure of him being gone though," Engineer warned, restoring power back to the kitchen. He felt Scout's weight against his back and allowed a small smile to slip onto his face as he worked. "You of all people should know what Spies are capable of, with that invisibility and shapeshifting-"

Engineer's hands never stopped moving, but his tongue froze as he realized, not only the implications of his own sentence, but the fact that the vague, ashy smell that was faint a moment ago was suddenly stronger as Scout leaned into him. Scout was a runner; he didn't smoke. His voice dropped into a dangerous level, and he gripped the flashlight as he growled in what he hoped was a threatening tone,

"Boy, why do you smell like cigarettes?"


"Scout" hugged Engineer close to him, gently massaging the other man's shoulders. He could drop the disguise when he had the other man's guard down.

"Engie, c'mon, I was hanging out with our Spy earlier. He got me a little smoky. And I had a tiny bit of a cigarette. Just to try it."

He tried to pout, or appear at least mildly annoyed by Engineer's accusations, but he also wanted the other man to relax, to trust him.

He kissed the other man on the cheek.

"C'mon and hurry up Engie. I, uh, I wanna spend some time with you, and once stuff is fixed people aren't going to pester us for a while."


The offer was tempting, and Engineer's hands hadn't stopped moving yet, but his paranoia hadn't dropped either. A kiss from Scout would usually make him blush as scarlet as the Texas sunset but even the slightest hint that Scout could actually be the Spy only made him bristle, even under the soothing massage.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Scout, he didn't trust that damn /Spy/. Engineer hated that his suspicions might very well end up being his downfall, especially at times like these, but it was always better to be safe than sorry...

He finished replacing the last of the wires, but before resetting the switches back to their default positions he whirled around, grabbed Scout by the front of his shirt and clenched the flashlight in another. The idea of beaning the boy over the head when he possibly /wasn't/ the Spy didn't settle well in Engineer's stomach - instead, he went for the second-best thing and crashed their lips together.

If it was actually Scout, he'd know how to respond. If it was the Spy... the thought put a bad taste in Engineer's mouth around how smoky Scout seemed to taste (a TINY bit of cigarette? He tasted like he'd snacked on an /ashtray/) but that was what the flashlight was for, now wasn't it.


"Scout" flinched as he saw the other man turn on him with the flashlight, his eyes temporarily showed his internal turmoil. Run or stay? Maybe they just played rough. Maybe Engineer was testing him; Scout must really trust the other man.

He allowed himself to be kissed, almost turning into putty in the other man's arms; in character it seemed appropriate, and to his own relatively attention starved body it was an allowable reaction. Understandable even; he hadn’t gotten this much action since the last time Medic had been drunk.

He draped his arms around the other man's shoulders and slowly rubbed his body against the other man's. Appearing to be at ease, trying to coax him into letting his guard down, it was all part of the game he had to play.

He pulled away slowly and smiled sweetly at the other man. He hoped that that show was what Engineer was expecting.


Satisfied with the reaction as his young lover drew back, Engineer suddenly blushed scarlet when he realized how bold the move he'd just initiated was. He set the flashlight down and unclenched his fist from the front of Scout's shirt, gently setting him down as he turned around to finally reset all the switches and close the panel. The basement flooded with light as the circuits connected, and suddenly Engineer was looking at a rather flushed and squinting Scout.

"Now," He said, as he grabbed Scout's hand and intertwined their fingers, "Let's get you something to eat. That cigarette you had must be tasting pretty awful in your mouth right about now." Dinner had been a few hours ago but knowing Scout's hummingbird metabolism, he wouldn't protest to a small snack just to wash out the taste in his mouth.


He pouted, pulling on Engineer's arm half playfully, half seriously.

"I don't want to get anything to eat right now, man. I told you, I wanna mess around with you. Now. Here even. No one's gunna pester us down here."

He smiled enticingly at the other man, "C'mon Engie, I know you need to relax a bit. You've been really anxious and you haven't had any time for me."

He hoped that that was the case; he’d noticed that BLU’s Scout had been spending less time with Engineer and more time running around lately.


Engineer was planning to protest, but at the look on Scout's face his argument deflated. He figured that he DID owe Scout some attention, especially after suspecting him earlier and his behaviour as a result.

"Right here? Gracious, son, if I knew you'd missed me so much you can't even wait to get back to our room I wouldn't have left you to your own devices for so long." Regardless, he tugged back, attempting to lead them up the stairs. The basement was a lot draftier than their room, and the concrete floor was significantly less comfortable than their bed. Also, he could probably alert at least ONE other person that a RED Spy was in the base on the way, since he was going to be far too preoccupied with Scout to go looking for him.


He was comfortable with this seeming compromise; if he knew this base's schedule well enough, the others would likely be far enough away that he'd be safe. Besides, the risk of being found out was so small in comparison to the benefits of making the Engineer feel foolish and maybe even a bit worried for his precious Scout.

He eagerly followed after the other man, trying hard not to make eyes at him at every available opportunity, but it was hard not to.

"I'm sorry I didn't say nothin' earlier Engie, I was hopping you'd invite me over though. I didn't wanna be a bother."


Engineer raised his eyebrow again as he led the two of them out of the basement. "Why, that's awfully considerate of you, Scout." Usually the boy didn't even bother with so much as knocking - regardless of what he was working on Scout would barge straight in, talking and waving his arms around and oh oops did I make you break your stupid crap again? But Engineer's tone wasn't one of suspicion or accusation; as a matter of fact, he was rather touched that the boy was learning to be more sensitive to others' needs.

Medic walked by, arguing with Soldier ("Ven I am running in front of you zat means zere is SOMEZINK BEHIND US, vhy can you never understand zat, you SCHTOOPID American"). Engineer grabbed Medic's sleeve with his free hand, warning him about the Spy. Whether or not Medic actually listened was questionable, because he nodded and then went directly back to his conversation. But as they neared the room, Engineer found that he cared less and less about the Spy - this was Scout's effect on him.


Uh oh, he'd raised a red flag with the Engineer...or maybe not. He seemed to be calm enough about it considering that Engineers tended to fly off the handle, as the saying went, when even the slightest hint of a Spy was present.

But, it seemed as if Engineer was only minimally successful with alerting Medic, and as if he was placated enough by "Scout's" proximity to him that he was not inclined to pursue the matter further.

He eagerly looked at the other man, his hands covertly massaging at the other man's arm as they walked.


Engineer couldn't help but smile at Scout, his gaze never off the boy as he turned the handle on their door. It was unlocked - odd, he thought he locked it, but little matter - and as soon as the two of them were safely in the room he locked the door and headed over to the bed, except there seemed to be something in the way.

That "something" was a Scout already on the bed, with a bowl of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other, and he seemed to mind that Engineer had just walked in, fingers intertwined with what seemed to be his clone. He jumped up, a frenzy of confusion and Bostonian cursing and Neapolitan as Engineer let out a cry of surprise and pressed his back against the wall, gaze switching to the Scout he'd been leading and the Scout now covered in ice cream.

"What the hell is your problem?" Ice-cream-Scout screamed, looking back and forth in disbelief.

Engineer's eyes widened as he grabbed his wrench. "SPY!" He yelled, and raised the wrench, but that was as far as he got, because before could do anything else the Scout covered in ice-cream had leapt on his counterpart, and the two were indistinct from each other rolling around on the floor.


Oh shit.

It wasn't the first time something like this had happened, but it certainly was the most difficult to get out of. And possibly the most embarrassing for him.

And now Engineer's enraged young lover was all over him, wailing on him, and he was trying his hardest not to just whip out his knife and kill the little bastard. But, at least the two of them, now covered in ice cream, spit, and a little blood, provided some cover. Engineer would not attack the two of them and as long as he could convince him, or distract him, he could make a safe escape.

He looked up at Engineer, "Get this friggin' Spy offa me! He's gunna stab me any second now."

There, that was a surefire way to at least try to get the other man to intervene on his behalf.


"I'M the Spy?" The other Scout screamed, clawing for the throat of the one pinned under him. "Engie don't listen to him, HE'S the Spy! Help me out here, man, I don't wanna get stabbed!"

Engineer hadn't moved from where he was, wrench still in a position to smack a Spy, but now that there was no distinction between the Spy and the original Scout, he wasn't sure at all what to do. This was almost embarrassing, that he couldn't distinguish his own lover from a Spy, but he wasn't about to go randomly wrenching, ESPECIALLY if there was the off-chance that he would end up knocking out Scout and letting the spy escape.

Not that he could get anywhere near the two rolling around on the ground like that. Scouts were known for their twitchiness after all, and with his luck and all that movement he'd probably aim for one and end up hitting the other.


Perhaps this was time to finally let the disguise drop; if he convinced Engineer that he'd let the other Scout go unharmed if he were allowed to leave, he was sure he could easily escape.

He rolled over, finally on top of the other squirming Scout and allowed his disguise to disappear. Moving quickly, he firmly pressed the blade of his knife against the younger man's throat and sneered up at Engineer.

"One wrong move and I'll coat the room with Scout's blood. Put your weapon down and step away. I'm willing to resolve zis...peacefully."

He raised a brow, pressing the blade slightly harder into the younger man's flesh, hissing at Engineer.

"Just imagine what would have 'appened if you'd slept with me. A bit rougher zan you might be accustomed to, non?"





Scout squirmed in the Spy's hold, trying to ignore the blade pressed into his neck. If he died now, he'd have to wait until the next official battle for respawn to kick in and that wasn't for another week, not to mention the pain from dying anyhow - DAMNIT. He growled and attempted to elbow Spy in the face, but the fucker was a lot stronger than he'd imagined and all he got for his efforts was a nick across his throat.

He glared up at the Spy, hoping Engie wasn't actually going to put down the wrench. There was no guarantee that the Spy was actually willing to resolve this peacefully, and if Engie disarmed himself he wouldn't be the ONLY one waiting for respawn.

Scout groaned as he heard the heavy THUD to his left, then saw Engie backing up against the wall. He tried to struggle some more, but then just ended up waiting for the inevitable slash through his neck. Respawn wasn't a pleasant experience, but it wasn't horrible either, and he was strong enough to tough it out for a week... of course he was.


Spy easily stood, pulling Scout with him as he moved back toward the door.

"Once I get the door open, I'll let you go, yes?" He smiled easily at Engineer, "Well chosen, laborer. I enjoyed our discussion today, and perhaps we'll get to have a more...intimate discussion in the future."

He gently unlocked the door, shoved Scout away from him and cloaked. He ran from the base as fast as he could.

No more disguising as Scout. He was just too much work.
Marked for deletion (old)

2 .

As soon as the real Scout entered the picture, my mind instantly shouted, "OHO SOMEONE PUT THIS IN THE WRONG BOARD." Sadly, that was not the case. Still a pretty interesting twist and a good fic all around. ( '.')b

3 .

Mmm, ice-cream-coated Scout. A delicious dessert indeed. This is lovely.

4 .

Sage because of old, but damn, I'd really like to see someone give this an alternate ending in /afanfic/.
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