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No. 1537
Lol sorry for the poor title

Sup folks, Write/Draw fag de-lurking but not name-fagging to post some sappy and goofy Soldier/Engineer stuff.

I’ve recently read some AMAZING but depressing fics, and I felt compled to write and share something faggy.

It is unbeta'd, and I'm open to criticism. You can be rough, but not too hard, it’s my first time~ I tried to keep them in character as much as possible, but I think Soldier came out mushier then he should’ve. OH WELL!

PG-13 for language and implied stuff I guess.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an intense day on the field that day, not a good day for the new Engineer to start out in. Okay, okay it wasn’t his first day, but he wasn’t around long when this incident happened.

“DAG-GUMIT I NEED SOME HELP HERE BOYS!!” Engineer called out as he fumbled to get his sentry up by a corner of a large wooden building. He feared it wouldn’t be up in time to defend from that oncoming pyro. Solider swung around at the call and raced toward him. The Pyro was approaching fast.
“Red wire to the left, sauter the blue wire, clip the green wire,” Engineer’s mind’s raced, but it all came to a panicked halt when he heard the noise of the flamethrower warming up. Engineer’s mind told him to reach for his shot-gun but his muscles froze, he closed his eyes just as he saw the blue flame start to expand then BOOM!
The Engineer felt heat and pressure against his face and was blown backward against the building. When it settled he cautiously opened his eyes behind his goggles. Where the Pyro had been was now a gory mess, and a smug looking soldier with a smoking rocket-launcher.
“Gonna get that sentry up now, Tex?” Soldier smiled tipping up his helmet. Engineer couldn’t come up with anything to say as he tried to piece reality back together. As his senses returned to him, a throbbing pain started to increase in his left arm, and it felt strangely wet. He turned to look at it, and a chunk of the wooden building was now lodged in his arm, and it was bleeding profusely. The Texan felt as if he’d never seen so much blood before. He put his right hand to it, and when he pulled it back it was coated in blood. He started to shake, “Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!”
“YOU GONNA GET THAT SENTRY UP OR WHAT MAGGOT?” Soldier shouted shooting at an enemy demonman, “WAIT WHAT YA SAY?” Soldier turned to see Engineer’s arm, even Soldier had to wince.
“Oh heh, umm I guess that’s my fault. Well ummm it’s better then being burnt alive right?” Soldier asked, but Engineer only looked up at him with an expression of horror.
“m…m..mmmedic,” Engineer tried to call out but his voice was quiet and raspy, as he gripped his arm.
“You ain’t gonna get that’s kraut’s attention with a call like that, boy!” Soldier said puffing out his chest. He then took a deep breath and shouted out, in prefect soldier style, “MEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!”
“I bet those BLU team ladies could hear that over at their spawn,” Soldier said proudly, still unaware of Engineer’s emotional status.
“…i..i..i..i can’t move my arm,” Engineer coughed out tears starting to build up in his goggles.
“Hey it’s alright, that jerry gonna be here any second!” Soldier said sending off a warning rocket to the enemy Demonman, killing him this time.
“…i…i..i,” Engineer was shaking more violently and turning pale. Soldier glanced at him, glanced into the distance which was now, temporarily, enemy free, he then glanced back, the horror on Engineer’s face finally hitting him.
“Ya alright maggot?” Soldier said turning toward him. Engineer looked up at Soldier biting his lip.
“….okay that was a dumb question. Want me to help you with that?” Soldier said kneeling next to Engineer. Engineer just nodded.
“HEY HEAVY KEEP AN EYE OUT OKAY, I’M HELPING ENGIE OUT!” Soldier shouted.
“OKAY LEETLE MAN!”
“Okay umm, I’m no medic, but I’m gonna try to get this big piece out alright?” Soldier said. Engineer just nodded again. Soldier grabbed the wooden piece, and pulled on it slightly but it wasn’t going to come out easy. Engineer hissed at the slight tug, when Soldier started to wriggle the wooden piece in an effort to loosen it, Engineer screamed and grasped at Soldier blindly.
“Woah, woah easy there private!” Soldier said. Then Engineer accidentally pushed his helmet into his face, and it fell off tumbling onto their laps.
“Don’t need this right now anyway,” Soldier shrugged. He took another look at the southern man clenching and racked with pain.
“Hey! Hey! Look at me!”
Engineer gingerly looked back up at Soldier he couldn’t see much through his tear filled goggles, but he could still make out Soldier’s strikingly blue eyes.
“Relax okay!” Soldier said loudly giving Engineer a crocked smile. Usually when Soldier smiled, it was sadistic and twisted, but here it looked sincere and almost tender.
Engineer swallowed hard, and just nodded again.
“Grip my shoulder if ya need ta, I’m giving this another yank,” Soldier said. Engineer grabbed his shoulder and clenched hard when Soldier gave it another yank. Then SLUCK, the piece came free. Engineer screamed and squirmed.
“Oww yeah, that better?” Soldier asked tossing the bloody chunk of wood aside, and rubbing his squeezed shoulder.
“……no,” Engineer said at the re-intensifying pain looking away from soldier.
“Hey,” Solider said, he then pulled the goggles forward and settled them on Engineer’s forehead, releasing the flow of tears. Engineer rubbed his own dirty shoulder at his eyes, feeling ashamed to be crying in front of his team-mates.
“Hey!” Soldier said louder placing a hand on Engineer’s cheek, tapping it gently so Engineer would turn his head to him. Engineer did so, seeing the brash fellow American give a smile that showed off his facial lines. It was so odd, seeing a smile that wasn’t deranged on Soldier, and oddly comforting.
“You’re gonna be alright!” Soldier said punching Engineer’s wet shoulder before standing up. He put his helmet on and looked at the battlefield.
“Ha! Medic is here, tex!” Soldier said with an edge of joy to his rough voice.
“HEY KRAUT OVER HERE!”
“Ja, Soldier?”
“What took you so long kraut? Fix up our mechanic boy!”
Medic trained his healing beam on Engineer and took a closer look at the wound.
“Vas happened?” Medic said scanning Engineer’s arm.
“Wooden shrapnel, took it outta his arm,” Soldier said mechanically.
“You try to help him herr Soldier? This wound is torn up worse then it should be,” Medic grumbled. Soldier’s caring face twisted into an angry one.
“HEY LISTEN KRAUT IF I WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR, I’D PUT ON AN APRON AND KISS BOOS-BOOS FOR A LIVING! BUT AT LEAST I’D COME IN A TIMELY MANNER WHEN FELLOW SOLDIERS ARE HURT!” Soldier shouted, visibly upset for a reason beyond a pissy Medic.
“I zink you haff something better to do Dumkophf,” Medic snarled as he attempted to remove splinters.
“YEAH! YEAH!” Soldier boomed. He tipped his helmet to Engineer mechanically and stormed off. Engineer watched Soldier leave, when he was no longer in view, Engineer closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of the healing beam washing over his body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oy, boyos! That was a gory, but triumphant day!” Demo said raising his 3rd bottle of booze, “A celebration is in order!” He then downed the last of the bottle and fell over backwards with a thud. They managed to keep all their points for that day, and a small party was happening in celebration of that victory. Everybody was drinking and chatting with each other in a merry way. Soldier was just telling Scout some old war stories, when he noticed that Engineer was sitting by himself.
“Hey, umm private. I’m gonna go see Engie, but an important part of strategy is to commutate well with your team mates alright?” Soldier said, excusing himself.
“Yeah, yeah sure, old man,” Scout said walking off to talk to Pyro.
Soldier found his way to the recently bandaged up Engineer who was sitting on the couch awkwardly, drawing some kind of blue-prints on a napkin. Soldier greeted him by clinking his beer bottle against his helmet.
“Hey hard-hat, feeling better?” Soldier asked before slumping to his left.
“Oh howdy Soldier! I’m still very sore, and it hurts to move this arm, but I am feeling better. Thanks to ya partner!” Engineer smiled.
“Good ta hear Maggot! All of our team-mates need to be in good form to fight those blue bastards,” Soldier said before taking another swig of his beer and putting his arm around the younger man. Engineer set down his napkin and smiled.
“Thank you for staying with me out there! I would’ve been a goner without ya!” Engineer says.
“Pffffft,” Soldier says, he then mumbles incoherently before taking another swig, and Engineer thinks he sees blush beneath his helmet.
“I really owe ya!” Engineer says with a smile.
“Hmm,” Soldier says into his beer bottle. When finished he tosses the empty bottle carelessly on the floor, “Then ya can start by getting me another beer.” Engineer chuckles before getting up and fetching himself and Soldier a beer, Engineer sits back down and Soldier automatically wraps his arm around his shoulders again. Engineer hands Soldier his beer.
He then clinks Soldier helmet with his own beer, “Cheers!”
“HAHA! CHEERS!” Soldier says and they both take a long drink.
“For a newbie, ya handled yerself pretty well Engie. I mean Scout’ll never admit it, but he got a bullet in the gut awhile back, and he was blubbering about it, I swear to god face drenched in snot and tears! I mean ya cried a bit but ya really toughed it out ya know! You’ll be a great soldier brainy!” Soldier rambled leaning lazily into Engineer on his last sentence. Engineer winced.
“Watch my bad arm, boy!” Engineer said.
“Oh yeah umm sorry,” Soldier said removing his arm and resting his elbows on his knees, looking at his beer in a slightly embarrassed manner. Engineer chuckled, he then grabbed Soldier’s arm and put it back where it was.
“Don’t gotta remove it, just don’t lean on my bad arm now!” The Texan smiled. Soldier’s blush deepened but he leaned back and relaxed with a sigh.
“If ya say so, Tex!”
Soldier took a long swig, as Engineer nursed his beer. As the party continued Soldier related his favorite war stories to the Engineer, using plenty of sound effects, and hand gestures with his beer hand. Engineer knew he was just boosting for the most part, but couldn’t help being charmed by it. He had to admit the sound effects and gestures defiantly made the stories entertaining, even if the gestures often got beer on their laps.

After awhile the night started to wind down, and their other teammates started to head out to their bunks. Well, except Demonman, who was contently sleeping in his underwear on the kitchen table.

Engineer stood up, “Well everybody else is heading ta sleep, I guess I should too.”
“Hey waitta minute!” Soldier said getting up and slinging his arm around him again, “I should walk ya back to your room.”
“….why?” Engineer asked amused at how visibly drunk Soldier was.
“Cause umm yeah see, you’re wounded I gotta make sure ya get back safely,” Soldier said.
“My arm is hurt not my legs,” Engineer said.
“I’M NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER MAGGOT!” Soldier boomed tossing his 5th empty beer bottle to the floor and poking Engineer in the chest. Engineer just chuckled and nodded, the two of them walked off to Engineer’s room, Engineer tried his best to keep the sloshed Soldier from collapsing.

“Well, we’re here,” Engineer announced when they finally arrived at the door to his room.
“Good good,” Soldier mumbled, he then moved from Engineer’s side to his front, balancing himself by holding on to his shoulders with both hands.
“BEFORE YOU GO!” Soldier said loud enough to wake the entire place, “I wanted to let you know that, that you’re a great soldier!”
“Really?” Engineer smiled his nose crinkling in skepticism.
“I wouldn’t lie to you maggot! You’ve got endurance, ingenuity, brains,” Soldier started to ramble on. He also gave Engineer a drunken head-butt when he said brains.
“…and you’re handsome,” Soldier mumbled out not making eye-contact with Engineer.
Engineer was rubbing his recently injured head, when the last line took him by surprise, “Handsome?”
“Yeah! And I mean handsome in the manly way not the gay way! I mean ya ain’t too skinny like a bunch of the other guys. You’ve got a good man’s man jaw and an all-American smile!”
Engineer was trying his best but he couldn’t keep from blushing.
“Aww shucks Soldier,” Engineer smiled shyly rubbing his arm.
“I mean have you seen some of the pansies on this team!? God damn when sniper turns sideways he god damn disappears,” Soldier rambled.
“Soldier?” Engineer said trying to get his attention.
“And that slimey French snot of a Spy. Ya can practically see his shoulder blades through his suit!” Solider continued to ramble.
“SOLDIER!” Engineer said louder in an effort to get his attention.
“What?” Soldier asked confused.
“I think you’re handsome too,” Engineer said reaching out a hand, he guided Soldier’s face to his own and they shared a short kiss. Soldier seems stunned for a few moments after the kiss, but soon enough he started chuckling nervously. He clears his throat.
“Umm I guess I should get going,” Soldier mumbled this time he’s acting shyly. He goes to go around Engineer but he trips, and Engineer catches him. Engineer winces at the weight in his bad arm, but pulls Soldier to standing again.
“You’re not going to make it back to your room, are ya?” Engineer smiles.
‘I TOTALLY CAN MAGGOT! IF I CAN RUN 12 MILES ACROSS AN OPEN FIELD WHILE UNDER HEAVY ARTILITY FIRE I CAN MAKE IT BACK TO MY ROOM!” Soldier boasts loudly. He then goes to walk away, but this time falls forward into Engineer. Engineer can’t help but smile at Soldier’s antics. Soldier rests awhile his head on Engineer’s shoulder his arms wrapped around him for balance.
“…Ya can get up now, Soldier,” Engineer says.
“…..no I’m alright,” Soldier says, nuzzling his helmeted head into the crook of Engineer’s neck. The helmet’s cold on Engineer’s neck, but he can’t complain because it’s rare to capture Soldier is such a mood, and it’s pretty touching.
“You’re coming with me Soldier!” Engineer said is a mock drill-officer voice.
“Wait….what?” Soldier mumbled. Engineer started to drag Soldier into his room.
“Wait where?” Soldier mumbled again trying to be cooperative with the dragging.
“You’re my prisoner of war soldier, and there ain’t nothing ya can do about it!” Engineer growls in a playful manner. It takes Soldier a bit but he chuckles at it. Engineer then tosses Soldier on his bed. Soldier chuckles a bit and relaxes into his bed but he gets a sudden panicked look on his face.
“WOAH WAIT! WE’RE NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX ARE WE!?” Soldier booms sitting up, “Cause I kinda want to but I don’t know if ya noticed or not boy, but I’m kinda drunk.”
“Oh I hadn’t noticed,” Engineer says sarcastically placing his own helmet and goggles on the table next to his bed.
“I mean, I’m too drunk to perform right, and I don’t wanna screw it up. No pun intended! Also I got this tendency to play kinda rough, and I don’t wanna make your arm even worse or anything!” Soldier started to ramble. Engineer took Soldier’s helmet off and placed it next to his own, and yanked Soldier’s boots off and tossed them to the floor.
“Now don’t get me wrong I totally want to hump ya! I wanna fuck those smart brains of yours outta you’re pretty skull but right now…,” Soldier continued to ramble as Engineer kicked off his own boots.
“We’re not going to have a roll in the hay tonight Soldier,” Engineer said finally interrupting Soldier’s rambling.
”Oh good!” Soldier said relieved relaxing in Engineer’s bed, “Cause I totally want to fuck you! Like big time!....Just not tonight.” Engineer chuckled and gave Soldier a peck on his forehead.
“You’re just going to stay here tonight,” Engineer said laying down next to Soldier, trying not to fall off cause the bed was obviously not made for two.
“Wait are we going to cuddle and talk about our feelings? Cause I’m no good at that and I…,” Soldier started to ramble again.
“We are just going to fall asleep together, if ya learn to cap that mouth of yours,” Engineer said playfully.
“…Cap my mouth? Like capping a point? SOLDIER, I’m going to need to have my mouth capped before it learns to shut up!” Soldier said mischievously wiggling closer to the Texan. Engineer moved over slightly and they shared another kiss. When engineer pulled back Soldier barked, “NO WAIT MAGGOT MY MOUTH ISN’T CAPTURED YET, YA GOTTA BE ON IT FOR A FEW MORE SECONDS!” Engineer chuckled but did as instructed.
This time when Engineer pulled away he asked, “Is it captured now?”
“Absolutely, good work maggot!” Soldier said, “We can sleep now.” Soldier then put his arm over Engineer but remembered about his bad arm, so he weaved it under, loosely holding onto the fellow mercenary.

The day had certainly started off on a bad note for the Engineer, but ended on a rather positive note. Engineer’s arm was killing him, but the painful throb melted away under the pleasant heat of another human body next to his own, and they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Engineer woke up the next morning with a hung-over Soldier to take care of. Engineer had joked, that this time, he was going to take care of Soldier. Soldier didn’t do much besides growl and hold his aching head. After Engineer had administered the tried and true cure for a hangover, lots of water and some aspirin, they decided to head down for breakfast since it wasn’t going to be there all day.
When they got down there, they found Scout, Heavy, and Medic eating on the way edge of the table that Demoman was still passed out on.
“HELLO SOLDIER AND ENGINEER!” Heavy had boomed and waved cheerily. Soldier, Scout, and Medic winced at the volume of Heavy’s voice.
“OWW MAN, watch the volumne big guy some of us got hangovers here,” Scout said clutching his head.
“Ja mein lieb, think of zhee others,” Medic said rubbing his own head.
“Sorry,” Heavy said. He then gently batted away Medic’s hand and rubbed Medic’s head for him instead. Medic sighed contently at the affection, while Scout looked like he was going to throw up.
“It’s too god damn early for faggotry,” Scout mumbled irritated poking at his eggs.
Meanwhile Engineer and Soldier had filled up their plates and sat down at a section of the table demo wasn’t occupying.
“Want me to move him?” Heavy asked.
“No no, we’re fine. Thank ya,” Engineer said. Soldier immediately dived into the bacon on his plate absent-mindedly going, “mmfmmmff bacon,” as he chewed.
“Bacon?” Engineer inquired at Soldier holding up a slice of his own in front of him. It took a few seconds for Solider to catch on, but eventually he figured it out, and let Engineer hand-feed him a slice. When finished Solider continued digging into his own food but was interrupted by a mummured voice.
“Soldier?”
Solider looked up at Engineer who was pointing to what was left of Soldier’s bacon.
“What? It’s my bacon,” Soldier growled protectively. Engineer’s face sunk. At seeing this Solider conceded, “ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Here.” Solider held up a piece of his own bacon for Engineer, and Engineer ate it contently.
“WHAT DID I SAY!? IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY FOR FAGGOTRY! GOD DAMN IT I’M GOING TO MY ROOM,” Scout shouted, picked up his plate and left in a huff. Medic and Soldier winced at his booming voice.
After a short pause Heavy said, “He means he’s going to Spy’s room.” The other three chuckled at Heavy’s joke and continued to eat. It was mostly a pleasant silence until Soldier decided he had to break it and like anything Soldier does he didn’t break it delicately, “You know Engie? Tonight you can fuck me in the ass if you want.”
“WHAT!?” Engineer blurted confused and flustered.
“You can fuck me in the ass. I’d be rough, I know I will, and I don’t wanna hurt your arm. So you can be in charge,” Soldier explained calmly through a mouth-full of eggs.
“Jesus, Soldier this isn’t something we should discuss with others around!” Engineer blushed heavily.
“What? Those two are faggots too, and besides you’re the one who wanted to act all faggy with the bacon and shit just now,” Solider said rationally still chewing.
“Expressing affection and talking about our sex life are two very different things Soldier!” Engineer explained exasperated.
“Whatever, I was just saying,” Soldier said defeated. Engineer sighed as he got up and put his dishes in the sink. He then started to leave the kitchen.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Engineer announced. Soldier was about to open his mouth to say something when Engineer interrupted him with, “You’re not invited.” Soldier slumped back down on his plate dejected. Soldier sighed and held his head.
“I’m gonna go finish this in my room,” Soldier mumbled taking his plate and started to leave. He then realized his plate was empty, and u-turned to dump it in the sink while mumbling distractedly.
Then he finally left in a huff. Medic and Heavy watched him leave. Demoman then stirred slightly on the table but remained asleep.
“Doctor?”
“Ja?”
“Can I be on top next time?”
“No,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At noon they had to go back to the field, the whole lot of them defending for most of the day, like always. During the day Soldier had kind of avoided Engineer for the most part, due to any awkwardness. He had never been in a relationship with a fellow soldier before, and that morning argument hadn’t made it any easier. The only real interaction they had the whole day was at one point Solider had stopped to watch Engineer’s level 3 sentry take down a heavy and medic combo. Soldier gave Engineer a heartily slap on the back and told him what an excellent little machine he had built.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the battle there was no real celebration. It has been a stalemate for both sides, and neither side fought with the ferocity they had the pervious day because of all the injuries. For the most part everybody just moped about the base all sore.
Engineer was fiddling with his blueprints on his dispenser when he heard a knock at his door.
“Who is it?”
“Oh private, you know damn well who it is,” Soldier boomed.
“Come in,” Engineer said. Soldier slipped inside his room and shut the door behind him. He then scratched the back of his head, under his helmet a bit awkwardly.
“Umm, I uhh wanted to apologize for the stuff I said at breakfast,” Soldier said his voice quieter then normal. It was painfully obvious Soldier was not used to apologizing.
“It’s alright sergeant. I mean the sentiment was oddly touching. I just don’t want everybody knowing the intimate details of our personal life,” Engineer explained face still buried in his blueprints.
“Really?” Soldier asked relieved.
“Yeah,” Engineer said.
“It’s as simple as that. I don’t have to buy you flowers, or kiss your ass for a week for you to forgive me?” Soldier asked.
“I’m not a woman, Soldier,” Engineer said.
“Well errr thank ya,” Soldier blushed slightly.
“No problem boy,” Engineer said erasing a line. Soldier then went up to Engineer and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and rested his broad chin on top of his helmet. Engineer smiled, and Soldier sighed contently.
“I mean. I don’t want us to be like Heavy and Medic, who EVVVVERYBODY knows all about what they do. They make so much, god darn noise,” Engineer joked.
“I don’t know if I’m the man for you then private. I make a lotta noise,” Soldier flirted rubbing his chin on his helmet.
“Do you now?” Engineer asked tapping his pencil.
“Want me to prove it?” Soldier grinned letting a hand trail down Engineer’s chest.
“I do,” Engineer said. Soldier’s grinned even wider then before and he unsnapped one side of Engineer’s overalls before Engineer finished, “But right now I’ve got work to do.”
Soldier’s face sunk and he pulled away from Engineer.
“Whattya mean you’ve got work to do!?” Soldier blurted.
“I’ve got work to do,” Engineer repeated.
“Work better be code for me, maggot! Because that’s your number one priority in the “do” category right now!” Soldier huffed.
“I want to look over my Dispenser blue-prints. The other day one shorted out on me, and I don’t want that to happen again,” Engineer explained calmly, slightly annoyed at Soldier’s child-like tantrum.
“Fine! Whatever! I’ll be in my room,” Soldier huffed about the leave the room.
“Who’s being the girl now?” Engineer joked.
“Aww fuck you,” Soldier swore slamming the door behind himself.


Later that evening, when Engineer was sick of re-looking, and re-looking at his dispenser plans with no luck, he headed over to Soldier’s room, and he knocked. He found it quite entertaining that Soldier had scratched out his name and wrote “War Room,” in its stead.
“STATE YOUR NAME AND PURPOSE OF VISIT PRIVATE!” Solider boomed, in his most authoritative voice.
“Engineer, and my purpose of visit is….recreational, Soldier,” Engineer explained. There was a slight pause on the other end.
“Come on in maggot,” Soldier said. Engineer slipped inside his room. Soldier was lounging on his bed flipping through a rifle magazine. Engineer hadn’t been in Soldier’s room before. There were gun and porno magazines strewn all over the floor, and the walls were either covered in large papers with attack strategies on them or pin-ups.
“Wow, quite a room you got here partner,” Engineer whistled looking at all the different cheesecake.
“Thank you,” Soldier mumbled.
“You’ve got a Marilyn Monroe, and a Rock Hudson pin-up?” Engineer asked as he looked at both of them. Soldier didn’t answer him right away. Then Engineer turned his gaze to Soldier. Solider peaked at him over his reading material. There was a tense pause before Soldier threw up his arms and admitted, “Yes I have a Marilyn Monroe and a Rock Hudson pin-up. I’m an equal opportunity employer maggot!” Engineer laughed.
“I haven’t heard it called that before,” Engineer said.
“Yeah lucky for you, you’re masculine and feminine enough for my tastes,” Soldier said leaning back on his arms.
“I’m not feminine!” Engineer said defensively.
“Oh you’re right. It was some other queer who was hand-feeding me bacon this morning,” Soldier said.
“A guy can’t express affection without it being girly now?” Engineer asked.
“Nope,” Soldier smiled smugly.
“I’m sorry, but who is the one getting it in the back-door tonight?” Engineer smirked approaching Soldier’s bed.
“Wait, what? You want to do that?” Soldier asked befuddled, as Engineer set his hands on the bed, leaning over Soldier.
“Correct partner,” Engineer grinned pulling himself on top of Soldier.
“Took you long enough,” Soldier smirked before pushing a kiss up into Engineer. They kissed each other for awhile, wet and sloppy, and enjoyed the simplicity of it for awhile before turning up the heat. Soldier had made the first move, by grabbing Engie’s ass and biting his bottom lip. Engineer chuckles at this but pulled himself up so that he was straddling Soldier’s hips. Soldier reached up for him.
“Come back down here maggot!” Soldier commanded tugging at Engineer’s overalls.
“Just a second dear,” Engineer joked. The mechanic then started undoing Soldier’s shirt slowly, relishing it.
Solider squirmed impatiently, when he was finally through, Soldier sighed, “Damn you’re slow maggot.”
“I’m enjoying it,” Engineer smiled rubbing a hand under Soldier’s tank-top. Soldier grabbed his hand before it got far.
“You like affection and foreplay, you really are a chick,” Soldier smirked triumphantly.
“Not that it would bother you if I was,” Engineer smiled. Soldier laughed.
“I like the pole and the hole,” Soldier said smugly. Engineer snickered at that covering his mouth.
“Hadn’t heard that one either?” Soldier smiled.
“Haha, no no,” Engineer replied regaining his composure. There was a brief silence.
“SoooOo?” Soldier asked.
“So?” Engineer replied.
“I think that’s enough interruptions and foreplay,” Soldier grinned, getting up so that Engineer was now sitting on his lap.
“If you insist,” Engineer smiled mischievously. Engineer leaned to push a hungrier kiss into Soldier but was interrupted.
“OH WAIT, one more interruption! Do you want me to turn off the lights or something?” Soldier asked.
“Oh umm yeah actually,” Engineer said.
“Alright then,” Soldier set Engineer to the side, and got up to head toward the light switch, tossing his outer shirt to Engineer as he did. Engineer mockingly fans himself with it.
“Oh by the way, you ain’t asking me to turn off the lights, cause you think you’re fat or ugly or something do you?” Soldier asked.
“Well I..,” Engineer started to answer and was cut off.
“Cause you’re not fat maggot!” Soldier announced, looking back at him.
“Heh, heh, you’ve been sleeping with too many women,” Engineer said. Soldier laughed again.
“Haha yeah. But seriously, don’t think that maggot. And I mean besides I fucked a lot of people fatter then you, anyway,” Soldier says.
“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel sexier,” Engineer says rolling his eyes, but unable to stop smiling.
“Umm yeah, sorry whatever,” Soldier mumbled. He then clicked the lights off.
“It’s time to get to REAL MAN work maggot,” Soldier said in a slightly deeper tone. Engineer guessed this was what Soldier considered his “sexy” tone.
“Get over here already,” Engineer sighed. Then suddenly there was a shift in the bed, and Soldier managed to find Engineer in the darkness.
Soldier wasn’t lying earlier, he really did make a lot of noise. It was sort of embarrassing Engineer but he usually wasn’t put in charge of situations like these, and well he was getting laid, so how much could the man complain? When they were through they flopped back on the bed, Soldier nearly slipping off due to how small the bed was. They sighed contently together, and there was a short silence. And like any silence Soldier had to break it.
“How was it?”
“Hmm?”
“How was it?” Soldier repeated.
“Not bad,” Engineer said.
“NOT BAD!? MAGGOT I LET YOU FUCK ME IN THE ASS! THAT’S A PRIVLEDGED HONOR! YOU SHOULD BE ASKING ME, HOW IT WAS!” Soldier boomed. Engineer didn’t say anything right away because he was chuckling. Soldier then wrapped himself around Engineer.
“WELL, I thought it was pretty good,” Soldier said quietly into Engineer’s neck. Engineer smiled contently rubbing Soldier’s cheek.
“It wasn’t bad,” Engineer repeated, mostly just to wind up Soldier.
“Pfft, you’re only saying that because you didn’t get to see my sculpted torso under proper lights. You see my pecs, you’d change your mind,” Soldier said.
“Sure, sure, Soldier,” Engineer drawled nuzzling up to him. Soldier sighed contently, and kissed whatever was nearest, which happened to be just under the Southern boy’s eye.
“That arm of yours better heal up fast. Cause I’m going to fuck the ever living shit out of you,” Soldier said nuzzling back.
“So romantic,” Engineer sighed relaxing into the bed. Solider looked at him a few seconds before he sighed to himself and drifted off.
Marked for deletion (old)
>> No. 1539
Heavy? A bottom? 8D
>> No. 1542
Ack ack ack

This is adorable, but seriously, you need a beta. Look at this sentence.

Soldier seems stunned for a few moments after the kiss, but soon enough he started chuckling nervously.
You switched tense right in the middle - probably just a typing thing, but any beta worth their salt would've caught that. There are a couple other things like that I spotted, too. Head on over to the beta thread in /dis/ and they'll sort you out.

Other than that, though, good Lord, kid. You make this pairing believable as well as cute as hell. I'd love to see more.
>> No. 1545
an all-American smile!Hahah that's freakin' adorable.

Yeah you could use a beta, but it was a cute read.
>> No. 1546
“I mean have you seen some of the pansies on this team!? God damn when sniper turns sideways he god damn disappears."
Okay I loled. Good stuff!
>> No. 1558
This made me giggle and d'aww more times than I remember. Soldier is just too cute here.
>> No. 1572
Aww, thank you folks for being honest, and all the compliments.

Seriuosly saying I made this pairing belevable is a huge compliment to me, Thank you Anon!

I'll go nab me a Beta as soon as I can be bothered to get off my ass.

Thanks again folks!
>> No. 1930
aww this is great!, funny and enjoyable to read MAKE more !!
>> No. 1931
funny and fluffy...continueeeeee
:D
>> No. 1932
Anon, would you like me to give some serious, in-depth concrit on this one?

Because I'd like to help you out, here.
>> No. 1969
>>10

Ehh, sure if it isn't too much trouble. My skin's pretty thick. Systematically destroy my self-esteem worse then a Jewish Mother Cat Bounty!
>> No. 1970
>>11

Heh. I like that simile.

Let me say right off the bat that the biggest problem with this fic, aside from the odd changing tenses that sometimes happen in the middle of a sentence, is the characterization. Out of all the characters, I think Soldier suffers the absolute worst from this, because he comes off sounding like the Scout with a lot of "Maggots!" and "Privates!" thrown in; Soldier uses "Maggot" like most teenagers use "dude" here, when he really doesn't. It's an insult, and should be used as such. If he's really falling for Engineer, then he probably would not call him such. Engineer doesn't quite sound like himself either, although in comparison to Soldier it's not as glaringly obvious.

It's not just his speech, either. Soldier isn't /acting/ like himself, either. Something you need to keep in mind when writing these characters is what drives them to do what they do. I had noted before in another critique a while back that Soldier is a hybrid of the Drill Sergeant Nasty and Cloudcuckoolander archetypes ( http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DrillSergeantNasty and http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CloudCuckoolander , respectively), and needs to be written as such. He is hard. He is mean. He is also completely fucking insane. And if he starts feeling all mushy over another man he is going to make damn sure that nobody knows about it, and cover it up not only to make sure his other teammates would never know, but so that he could probably lie to himself about feeling that way. Hell, he would probably still act that way even if he /did/ have sex with another dude, and try to justify it in the most bizarre, macho way possible. KiloMonster's fic has been doing a pretty bang-up job of conveying this, as well as building up the relationship between Soldier and Engineer, which brings me to another point...

The relationship between Soldier and Engineer moves along so fast that I felt like I got whiplash. One day Soldier manages to save Engie's hide and the next they're already talking about sex. Not only is this extremely unrealistic, but it's extremely out of character for the both of them. Again, I'm going to bring up KiloMonster's fic, with the scene where Soldier confronts Engie after he's recovered from his injuries. There's that moment of electricity and sexual tension between the two of them in the hallway, where Soldier's face is just in front of Engie's, and the reader, trained as they are by many a slash fic, expect them to kiss. But they don't. Soldier just walks away, and I could not have thought of a better way to handle that. There's the build-up of tension that makes it delicious to read, and it builds up a relationship between the two while keeping them in character. That's most of the fun in writing fluff fics, really, is easing into the potential romance like sliding slowly into a really hot bath. I admit I am not the best at writing romance, nor am I really a big fan of it most of the time, but I know enough of how relationships work just from my own to know what /feels/ right.

The third thing is the dialog. Good Lord, the dialog. There are so many "Uhhs" and "umms" that I feel like I may have inadvertently influenced this since I put them into my own dialog, although I try to only use them when it feels right. A lot of words lifted from in-game lines seem to be just thrown in like verbal tics, and none of it comes off as smooth. Some advice: Look over something you wrote a character saying, and then read it out loud, preferably using their accent and inflections. It's hard to explain, but there are certain words that say, Medic might use that Scout or Heavy wouldn't. I can't really make a list, but sometimes I'll read a fic and a character will use a word that I can't really picture them using. I will just know it when I see it.

What I'm going to suggest is to re-watch the Meet the Team videos. I mean, study them. Listen to all the in-game lines the characters have. They have just enough characterization that you can easily know what's in and out of character, but there's enough left to work with that you can add things and still make it work. For example, I don't remember if it was Ten Cent Bastard that was the first to make Pyro a Trekkie, but I liked the idea enough and ran with it, because, well, it kind of /fit/.

I think perhaps this fic should be scrapped and re-written from scratch. Also, seriously, GET A BETA. The is a thread in /help/ that has a whole bunch of people who would probably be more than willing to help, including myself. There were a lot of moments in this that I just cringed and points where I had to stop reading for a bit, and I hate to say that sort of thing because you seem really nice and also when you mentioned that you were inspired by some "AMAZING but depressing fics," I had a nagging feeling mine might be one of them, so I feel kind of compelled to help you, here.

Also, double-space between paragraphs. Makes things much easier to read.

... Though I have to say, the bit about Heavy asking Medic if he could be on top next time was easily my favorite part. It made smile.
>> No. 1983
>>12

Thank you, I believe I heard that simile on the simpsons once.

Also thank you for ripping me a new one. One can always use a reality check.

Not trying to justify my poor characterization, but I kind of wanted to try writing a Soldier who had come to terms with his homosexual side, not open about it, but he accepts it himself. I obviously didn't think it through.

I don't know, I've got it in my head that the reason why Soldier never got into the proper army was not because he was batshit insane. Despite the fact that he stabbed the psychitrist in the kidney with her pen, it only made the army officals go, "YOU'RE OUR BOY" and send him to the next series of test. Unfortunately (and I'm pretty sure this is accurate) during the physical tests for World War II, included a doctor sticking the tongue depresser in the back of your throat, cause a lack of gag reflex is OBVIOUSLY a sign of homoosxuality, which is a big no-no. Soldier failed that, and got booted out.

Phew sorry for the silly tangent. But seriously thank you for all of it, you may think you're being mean but I appreicate it. I don't know if I'll write another fic however, because my obsession ADD made me move on, and because I'm starting college soon. If I do write more, I'll be sure to nab a beta, and get my characterization in check.

Sorry my fic made you cringe so often, but hey I'm at least glad the Heavy + Medic thing made you smile, despite all of it. :> Thanks again!
>> No. 1985
I don't know, I've got it in my head that the reason why Soldier never got into the proper army was not because he was batshit insane. Despite the fact that he stabbed the psychitrist in the kidney with her pen, it only made the army officals go, "YOU'RE OUR BOY" and send him to the next series of test. Unfortunately (and I'm pretty sure this is accurate) during the physical tests for World War II, included a doctor sticking the tongue depresser in the back of your throat, cause a lack of gag reflex is OBVIOUSLY a sign of homoosxuality, which is a big no-no. Soldier failed that, and got booted out.
See, that there is a big no-no. There is literally no way that the reader could have known this, and it only causes confusion. Not to say that I'm against alternate character interpretations (I do it a lot myself), but if you're going to do it, you're going to have to it in the realm of believability, and for Soldier, that may be too big of a stretch.

Your theory on why Soldier didn't get into the army in WWII is interesting, although I've always figured it's just because HE IS INSANE. Now, my best friend's brother is a Marine, and as crazy or as scary as he is, he is a hell of a lot more mentally sound than Soldier. Keep in mind, this is a man who has lectured the decapitated heads of his enemies on Sun Tzu, and managed to get most of the facts horribly wrong in the process, even going so far as to confuse Sun Tzu with Noah. The armed forces have /standards/. There are a couple other possibilities I have considered as well, but that one makes the most sense to me.

Although, Soldier even coming to terms with his sexuality, hell, ANY sexuality, seems out of character in and of itself for Soldier, at least to me. For some weird reason I can almost see his entire life revolving around the battlefield so much that sex is pretty much a neglected part of his life, or, even more appropriate, he feels like sex could never live up to the thrill of blowing up some motherfuckers with a rocket launcher. On top of that, this guy has pretty much been conditioned into very 1950's state of mind when it comes to patriotism, the American way, fighting, getting a haircut, and whatnot. If you're going to write him as gay, you're going to have to keep that in mind... or at least have him justify it as being situational homosexuality only. There seems to be a lot of that in this fandom.

Something I didn't mention the first time around was the... well, not sure if I would call it a sex scene, since the sex was skipped over, but it was just plain confusing. It literally feels like there's just been a huge chunk taken out of the fic and it's just awkward. If you're going to have hinted sex in a fic, you're going to have to do it a lot more gracefully.

Also, the revelation that you have ADD doesn't surprise me in the least. I think i could kind of tell.

And you're welcome. If you do decide to write again, let me know.
>> No. 1988
>>14

This is exactly why I'm having a bit of a block on my fic, unfortunately. Finding how to proceed in a natural way for Soldier is proving extremely difficult, mostly with the rationalization going on in Soldier's head. You'd think this would be easy considering that he's crazy, but that's just it. Even though I try portraying Soldier as a little less crazy than the norm, he's still not in a normal way of thinking. And frankly trying to probe at his brain is making ME insane. ;P

Also, I'm humbled to be mentioned as an example. I must be doing something right.
>> No. 1989
>>15

There aren't a whole lot of Solder/Engie fics anyway, really, but so far yours is probably the best example of keeping them in character, even if yours is downplaying Soldier's crazy. I felt like maybe I played it up too much. You have a definite grasp on the two of them and it /works/, and I think I will probably direct people who are trying to write Soldier/Engie to your fic as an example of how to make it work.

YOU SHOULD FEEL PROUD.


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