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No. 3007
Putrid was the first word that sprung to my mind as I stood there, scrubbing my torso, neck and face roughly with the coarsest brush I could get out of the Medic. He was afraid that I might hurt myself if he had given me the wire brush I initially asked for. But it still wasn't getting off the testosterone soaked stench of Sniper piss.
Resentment welled inside me as I rinsed myself and repeated the process of roughly scrubbing myself with some sort of gritty mechanic's soap that smells like a horribly concocted knock-off version of Feu D'orange. Engineer allowed me to borrow the stuff from his shop as long as it found its way back before the morning.
Just when I finally found the smell disappearing, the light steps of Scout entered the shower rooms. He heard my own shower running and walked over to peek in and see who was there.
"You're still in here?" He sounded slightly surprised and I merely allowed the suds to rinse off for the fifteenth time as I attempted to ignore him. "Aw, c'mon, Pepé Le Pew. What's up with you?"
Did he really just compare me to that skunk off of one of his little American Looney Tunes shows? And also create a painfully obnoxious rhyme with it?
"You are so juvenile." I inform him before I scrub myself down again for good measure. My skin is pink and tingly. I already know I'm as clean as a newly dry-cleaned suit, but I can't shake the feeling of being unclean. I decide that it is just a mental thing; I will get over it soon enough.
"And you're gonna need to grow a new layer of skin if ya scrub yourself like that one more time." Scout hasn't left and is watching me scrape at my skin with the brush.
" 'Ow else might I get ze stink of Sniper urine off of me?" I'm not even going to mention the fact that he ruined a perfectly good suit. Stupid Australian.
"Tomato juice." Scout states confidently as he prepares to enter the shower next to mine. "It's what my ma used on Rover when he got in the dumpster." Scout explains as I turn my gaze to him curiously.
"Huh..." I consider the validity of his statement before nodding. "Per'aps next time I shall try zat."
"Please, by all means. That orange shit is weird smellin'." He informs me as I dry and dress myself.
"Eet is still better zan your room, 'owever." I sneer before cloaking and heading to my own room. Getting the last word with Scout always makes me feel better. Even on those abominable days when I get hit with Jarate. I realize that the little Bostonian has some use after all and smile a bit as I enter my room.
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A/N: Why... yes, this was written solely so that Scout could call Spy "Pepé Le Pew"... and I do need to work on my ending skillz, or lack thereof.
Marked for deletion (old)
>> No. 3008
Delightful!
>> No. 3012
Bahahaha! I love it. Very visceral description of Sniper piss. Urgh.
>> No. 3013
i'm loling forever
>> No. 3016
BEST.
>> No. 3291
Dude, I think know exactly the stuff you're talking about! It feels really wierd...

"Aw, c'mon, Pepé Le Pew. What's up with you?" Hehe...


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