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No. 4079
Comnpletely out of season, I blame stumbling across this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXJanwtkxgI

A Christmas eve snowfall dusted the eaves of 2fort, the medic's office light still glowing as the team all crawled into their bunks. Unaware that they had yet to slumber, he cracked his stradivarius' case open, and for the first time in ages, played.

The team exchanged glances, some still fuzzy from the egg nog. Many exchanged smiles, some simply rolling over to enjoy it in their own manner. The music lulled all but two of their number to sleep.

The spy smoked sans somnolence, watching the frosted moonlight with a nostalgic smile. Me sipped his coffee, recalling a lipstick stained mug tipping in the sudden updraft of a Parisian snowstorm. The startled brunette's eyes wide in alarm, her dress and scarf already spotted with tawny stains. That same dress had ended up in his armchair, that same brunette in his arms. He closed his eyes and savored the chilled moonlight, smoke dancing as the ember of his cigarette slept.

Dog tags clinked softly in the scout's hands, his face impassive even as the song drew on. he covered his eye with a forearm, picturing the former owner of the metal plates. He recalled, more specifically, his earliest memory, huge, older hands cramming snow down the back of his collar, sending the boy back inside to dry out his coat and eyes by a crackling fire. The young man smiled, recalling the guilty extra marshmallows his eldest brother sneaked into the over sized mug that night.

"So... boy... Did you ever send that letter?"

"Wha...? Oh, yeah... Sent it a week or so ago, mom oughta have it by now."

"Ah... well, good. Bonne nuit, Scout. It must be good to have family for you."

"Uh, yeah." He worried his lower lip, holding the dog tags tighter. "Hey, you too man"

The spy moved to shut the curtains, drinking in one last view of the moon above.

"Hey... spy?"


"Merry Christmas." Scout didn't see the man smile directly, only witnessing the corner of his mouth curl in profile.

"And the same to you."

Scout grinned and rolled over to curl in his blanket, looking forward to pegging soldier in the back of the head with a slush-ball the next morning.
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>> No. 4080
This is interesting. The imagery is quite sensual, but it seems as if you trip over yourself at times. The music adds a nice dimension to it all, an ambiance of warmth almost palpable. I'd suggest, however, you get a beta for this, and perhaps extend it, as the paltry length does not do the concept justice. I might have to write a Christmas story now, come December...
>> No. 4081
Bit early, but that doesnt make it any less humbling. good work.
>> No. 4083
i love the idea behind this, but like Sonnemelzen said already, more detailed ideas would do it more justice, and a beta would be cool too.
>> No. 4094
Me sipped his coffee, recalling a lipstick stained mug tipping in the sudden updraft of a Parisian snowstorm.
Should be "He sipped" etc.

It is very cute, and I am also wishing that you did a team-wide introspective, or at least a Spy-centric thing where he tries to do something nice for the enemy Scout in the spirit of Christmas and possible parenthood or something like that.
>> No. 4114
Aye, it's very underdeveloped and slapdash. I haven't had the time to make a proper post in so long, I felt I ought grab the horns of the bull as it passed, so to speak. Thank you all for the concrit. :3 I will most definitely apply it once I've moved and have more time to write.

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