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WTF27: Thread 2 (16)

1 .

Every repost is a repost repost. By various authors.

--

THE GIST: 27 themes, 27 short stories. 270 words AT LEAST according to the 'official' rules. <( ._.)> CAN YOU DO IT?

This differs from the 'kink meme' thread; Themes over specific ideas. Complete all 27 and receive a prize!*

01. Genderswap.
02. Transformation (animals).
03. Transformation (inanimate).
04. Wings.
05. Tentacles!
06. Mpreg.
07. High School AU.
08. Apocaylpse Now.
09. Supernatural (creatures).
10. Supernatural (powers).
11. Fantasy AU (traditional).
12. Fantasy AU (urban).
13. Fuck or Die.
14. Pornstars.
15. Hookers.
16. You see, I woke up gay.
17. Trading Places.
18. Forced Union.
19. Timeshift.
20. Aliens.
21. Doppelganger.
22. Twins/Non-Canon Siblings.
23. Out Of Time.
24. Slaves.
25. Media Crossover.
26. Spies and Agents.
27. OMG we forgot ____.

*prize not guaranteed.
Marked for deletion (old)

2 .

12

As he got off the train, Engineer perked up as soon as he spotted his Spy. Especially because he was pretty sure he wasn't able to walk around and be out like this. Aw hell, who cared, right? He grabbed the other man in a close embrace, incredulous but overjoyed to see him again. Spy laughed at Engineer's exuberance, but returned it gladly. He would have knocked off the busted old cowboy hat Engineer was wearing if it weren't for a quick reach on his part keeping the worker's face well shaded.

"And what are you doing out here like this? How'd you manage it?" Engineer started, still smiling like the idiot he felt like. They hadn't even moved to the shade, which showed how wrapped up they were in each other; neither of them were sun people.

Spy grinned, showing what looked like all his teeth at once. "I got some help from some... friends of the family. You know how it works back home," he make a little gesture, talking with his hands like he always did. "So long as I keep everything in order, I'm good to walk around up here." Another kiss, small and to the point.

They started walking inside, ignoring the similar displays of affection (romantic, platonic, and otherwise) going on around them. They didn't matter anyway. At least they could send letters and talk on the phone. Engineer had to physically visit Spy to get in a conversation, which was hard, considering the work he did. Engineers, you know how they are. Busy all the time. Not to mention Spy was usually somewhere off the coast of Brazil and Engineer was in Texas.

Soon as they were inside, they set to chatting and going about the business moving in. How are you? Why didn't you bring the player this time? Keep track of your toes, this is Heavy. How are you holding up? Politics still shit back home? Help me move this thing, please? Watch out for that, it's silvered. How's the weather down there/up here, anyway? I missed you. Missed you too.

"I don't know why I took so long to get back in the game," Engineer sighed, as he finished unpacking into the corner of the workshop that would double as his room. He'd given up his tiny dorm with Scout to get easier access to the moat outside. Better balance between his work, and Spy's comfort. "I mean, you get a bad bite halfway through and then next thing you know it's a year later and you haven't been out in the sun for half as long."

Spy shrugged from his spot on the bed they'd copped from Medic's infirmary. He'd never notice it missing, and it was better than a cot. "I can't blame you. Not very many people go through what we do in general, much less you in particular. Besides, you came back, so it doesn't matter." That just made them smile again, glad to have each other. "Not to mention that I finally got these working," he points to his legs. "Now I can proper visit you. All I need is one of those kisses of yours; then they won't hurt so much. Aunt wasn't kidding when she said it'd be knives in my feet."

Engineer snorted. "Well, let me fix that for you," And then he was leaning over, kissing Spy with a hand supporting the back of his head. Spy grabbed Engineer's other arm with both hands, growling into the kiss, a completely inhuman sound. When they parted, Spy was blushing a wonderful shade of blue, and Engineer could just barely feel his heart trying to beat out a pulse. They grinned at each other.

"It's been a while," Engineer started, sitting down next to his Spy on the bed, slipping his arms around Spy's waist.

"Far too long. Not to mention I want to try this 'being human' thing out." Spy's smile turned to a leer.

"Humanoid. You don't even have ten toes." It was true. Spy had 8. "And your skin's all the same. Not that I mind." Engineer leaned in to kiss him again, this one shorter, sweeter.

Spy shrugged. "Close enough? It's not like you're human either, you dangerous bloodsucker, you." He reached over and flicked off Engineer's hat with a finger. "Like any one of us are human here."

"The new Medic's human." Engineer helpfully pointed out, as he grabbed his cowboy hat and gently tossed it to sit on his work desk.

"He doesn't count. He's token," Spy complained, as he reached again and undid the first button of his shirt.

"We'll see." And Engineer ended the argument with a kiss, this one open-mouthed and hungry.

Spy's answer was to shove Engineer onto his back and promptly start undoing the rest of his buttons. It'd been a few months since they last met, and they'd missed each other terribly.

It would be a good deployment.

3 .

SOMETHING OF AN INSIDE JOKE

03. Transformation (inanimate)

Scout sidled up to the rest of the team with a blatantly-forced, badly-acted attempt at nonchalance; he leaned against the wall and tapped the metal gate with his baseball bat. Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink. Medic glared at him, but was soon distracted by Heavy again, and the rest of the team ignored him, everyone doing their usual morning setup routine. Demo and Engineer were deep in conversation, Soldier was staring at his shovel, appearing deep in conversation himself. Sniper was complaining about the coffee to no one in particular, and Pyro -

Pyro was doing a head count.

"Whew'ph Phy?" he asked, peering around the room. When no one answered, he repeated himself more clearly and began to circulate amongst the team, tapping his gloved hands gently against the wall in unoccupied corners, feeling for a cloaked figure that never appeared. "I cwm fwn em. E diddw weef awredda?"

Sniper looked sidelong at Scout. "Last I 'eard, he was with you, mate."

Scout blushed and straightened up from the wall indignantly. "Fuck you, guy, you always gotta be accusin' me of shit. I dunno what you think we were doin' - "

"Calm down, son," said Engineer. "Ain't nobody accusin' you of nothin'. We're just fixin' to get to work here, and it'd be nice if we knew where we all was aforehand."

Scout just blushed deeper and sank sulkily back into the corner. "Yeah, well I don't fucking know. I ain't his fuckin' babysitter."

"He is probably sleeping late," said Medic disapprovingly. "I haff told him ze late hours zat he keeps are bad for ze health."

Demo sighed. "Well, lads, it's a braw one. We cannae work wi'oot him. Let's go find him."

"SHIRKING WORK LIKE SOME KIND OF COMMUNIST!" Soldier shouldered his shovel and began to march back toward the dormitory.

Heavy grumbled about the comparison as they all followed along, Scout lingering at the back with his hands in his pockets and his head down.

On the floor in Spy's room was an empty suit, perfectly whole, with shirt inside jacket and tie perfectly fastened, crumpled on the floor. Inside the suit was a broom.

Everyone facepalmed.

"Dammit, boy, I done told you there's a reason he don't take the mask off."

4 .

06. Mpreg:

It's all quiet on the RED front, and Engineer doesn't notice that anything's out of the ordinary at first. Spy's like the tomcats back home, in and out all day, pattering around where you least expect them, getting into things they shouldn't and disappearing for days on end. It's only when he hears Spy's trademark arrogant knock on his workshop door that he realises he hasn't seen the guy for-- a week, maybe? More?

He opens the door a crack, unsure of what he'll find. Spy, like the tomcats, has a habit of seeking him out only when something's hit the fan. There'd been the time that Spy had limped in with a leg tangled in razor-wire, demanding wire-cutters even as he bled all over the floor; another time, the man had spent too many days hiding in the sewers and had shown up with a fever, pneumonia, and a tendency to throw up on Engineer's boots. There's a big brown bottle smuggled away in the bottom of Engineer's toolbox, filled with the sort of stuff that would make even Demo's eyes water. It tends to get a lot lighter on the days when Spy comes knocking.

"I require your assistance," Spy says, blowing smoke into Engineer's face through the crack in the door. "You 'ave some skills with blueprints and designs, yes?"

"Son, if this is about the sappers, I already told you-"

Engineer pauses and stares. The baby in Spy's arms stares back, big blue eyes nearly hidden under an oversized balaclava.

"Do you think it is possible," Spy continues, unruffled, thrusting the baby in Engineer's general direction, "to fashion some sort of small suit?"

Engineer shuts the door, turns, and makes a beeline towards his toolbox.

5 .

08. Apocaylpse Now:

Pyro is fine, of course, but the rest of them aren't lucky enough to have two-inch filters between them and the outside world. Pyro gives his spare one to Scout- everyone else has the sense to try not to breathe deeply outside, but even the strange black ash hanging in the air won't stop Scout from running his mouth- and everyone eventually relaxes a little (as much as they can ever relax now) after Scout eventually gets sick of not being understood and shuts up.

Medic hands his paper masks around as if they'll do any good, and everyone humours him until Heavy goes down on the outskirts of town. They ditch the masks on the burnt black ground with the vitamin tablets and antibiotic shots and the rest of the stupidly hopeful cures, and continue along the railroad tracks towards whatever used to be civilisation. The ash gets everywhere anyway, setting their skin to itching and their eyes to watering no matter what they do. Medic stays behind with Heavy when they move on, too furious to continue; in the dead air they can hear him for a long, long time, swearing in a language that none of them understand.

The town they reach is as empty as the desert, charred and warped. Engie tries to joke that it looks like the oven did the last time he ruined dinner, and gets a few weak laughs from those of them that haven't noticed the twisted black shapes slumped in doorways. Soldier blames the Japs and the Jews and the Nazis, but he's blamed them for everything from missing socks to weak coffee to the lack of hot water in the shower, so everyone continues to ignore him. He lines his helmet with a roll of tinfoil he manages to find in the mess that used to be the general store, but his skin blisters like the rest of theirs anyway.

Sniper stays optimistic the longest, in his own awkward way. He tells them stories of how harsh the outback is, stories of wide deadly spaces with names like Nullaboor and Kalgoorlie and Alice, about salt pans that sting your eyes and scree that cuts to the bone, about hearing the screams of devils and bunyips at night. Eventually, though, he stops. When Demo bothers him about it he just shrugs. A land that actively hates you is different from one that's dead.

They use whatever energy they have after the day's efforts to worry about RED Spy, the only RED to make it out with them. He's an outsider after all, a backstabber, one of /them/. The two Spies start out circling each other like strange cats, but the bitching over cigarettes stops after a while and the two of them start lagging back together in silence, leather shoes tapping on the cracked-up pavement. It takes a day or two before the rest of the group realises one day that the Spies have split and made off for somewhere else, partners in their shared indifference. Engineer complains for a time about having lost two more pairs of hands but everyone else shrugs and only feels a little guilty about their relief. Fewer knives at their backs, more water to go around. Soldier bellows threats in the general direction of the horizon until Demo tells everyone that that's just his way of wishing them well, and Soldier shuts up and goes back to grumbling under his helmet.

They keep following the bones of the railroad tracks, under the dead grey sky.

6 .

14. Pornstars

Engineer had always been considered the politest of the group, and despite Sniper’s constant nay-saying (“It’s my JOB to be polite!”), he honestly was.

He was that one guy who didn’t look like he could possibly hurt a fly, even in the face of his bloody duties in battle.

(Though, one could argue that his sentry-building was a way for him to do things in an indirect way.)

Of course, along with politeness comes political correctness and a certain amount of privacy.

That being said, Engineer was normally a very private person. Where Scout would brag about the last time he “jacked off” and prompted everyone else to do the same, Engineer wouldn’t say a word. Similarly, whenever two of his teammates got into a fight, Engineer was always, without a doubt, the intervening force.

Put simply, he wasn’t much of a sinner.

Unfortunately for him (and the rest of the team), there was an expansive collection of porn located deep within the intelligence room of 2Fort, where there were unspeakable things of horror and eroticism.

No one could quite decide which it was.

Scout watched something new, so as to “expand his sexual horizons”, and one day stumbled upon something vaguely western and not so vaguely raunchy. He put it in the VCR, turned the TV on, and pressed play.

He fapped in the beginning as two busty cowgirls wrestled in the mud, and later on when they hosed each other off with a questionably white liquid.

He fapped in the middle as those same cowgirls artificially inseminated some cows in the barn.

He fapped at the end until the entrance of the only male character in the whole porno, Engineer.

He was wearing assless chaps.




Scout later died of simultaneous heart failure and orgasm.

7 .

04 Wings (a little short though, hope that's not a problem)

The BLU team was preparing for their attack on the RED base when the sound of a minigun echoed around them. Something large and violent was flying toward their base from a distance.

"It's a bird!"
"No, it's a plane!"
"No, you idiots, it's the other teams Heavy!"

BLU team couldn't believe it, they thought they saw everything until they saw the giant Russian actually flying at them with huge, beautiful albatross wings, minigun in his hands, firing away at them.

"ENTIRE TEAM IS TEENY ANTS!"

Heavy glided over the BLU base, gunning down anyone in his line of fire. Heavy's newfound abilities combined with the complete shock and surprise from the BLUs made it easy to finish this battle quickly.

Bodies were being thrown everywhere, the base was in complete mayhem, there was no way for the BLUs to win against an airborne Heavy. The BLUs surrendered the match, making it an easy day for the REDs. The REDs cheered their joyful Heavy on as he continued his victory soar through the skies over 2Fort.

Meanwhile inside the RED base, Engineer was informing the bosses the outcome of the battle.

"Yes, we were completely victorious, Heavy loves his new wings, I haven't seen him this happy since we all got sent on vacation to Venice."

That night, Heavy took Medic into his arms as they flew off together into the starry sky.

8 .

04. Wings

Years later, Spy will sit in a high-class bar in France, smoking a cigarette as the buxom brunette across from him stirs her martini with her cherry. She is discussing with her friend, a deliciously curvy redhead sitting arm-length away from Spy, about the properties of love and describes it best as giving her wings and letting her heart soar. Her gaze will wander back to Spy occasionally, and though he has yet to contribute to the conversation she knows he has heard every word.

She will inquire about Spy, asking if he has ever felt that way. The redhead will giggle at her friend's audacity but lean a bit closer to him, so that he can smell the expensive perfume enveloping her like a light aura. At first Spy intends to laugh off the question - after all, Spies hardly ever love, they seduce; but as he starts his response suddenly he will be thrown back to several years prior, sitting in a workshop watching blueprints come to life.

He will think of a man, at whose genius he marveled, but never fully appreciated. He will recall the Texas accent and the soft mannerisms. As he begins to remember, the details sharpen more and more - the colour of his eyes, his gait, until Spy can recollect the feeling of every prick of stubble on his body as they rendezvoused in secret places only a Spy would know of.

His voice will catch then, because despite how easily other lies can flow from him, telling this one feels like he is tainting the memories he holds so dear. Both the women will notice and giggle, the brunette leaning over the table so Spy has a clear view down her low-cut dress as the redhead places her head gently against his shoulder. The contact will snap Spy out of his reverie and then the smile returns.

He cannot lie. The women, however, will be even more charmed and urge him to tell his story. Yielding to their desires, Spy leaves out choice portions of his tale, but while he is narrating, he will reflect on the irony that the single, most down-to-earth person he knew was the only one who could ever really make him fly.

9 .

04: Wings- short

Everyone thought that it was a little bit odd. The new appendages on Soldier's back were definitely unusual, not natural at all by any means. The entire team was awestruck, not even the mouthy Scout could utter a single word, absolutely speechless.

Soldier himself seemed rather uncomfortable with the situation he was in, and deemed himself a freak of nature. He left the battlefield and sauntered into his dorm before sitting down on his cot.

" Paul, d'ya think I'm hideous like this?" Soldier asked.


The English rockstar growing out of Soldier's back shook his head.


" Of course not Soldier, you're beautiful" said Paul McCartney.

10 .

06. Mpreg

Sniper is so miserably sick he can't even curse, so for the moment Scout has taken up residence in Medic's quarters. Not much about life has changed as a direct result; granted, the infirmary is slightly further away from the kitchen and Medic has a weird habit of sticking syringes in inappropriate places at inappropriate times, but at least Scout doesn't have to climb up and down ladders all day and Medic showers more than once a week. He even makes Scout coffee in the morning, just like Sniper would do if he wasn't completely bedridden. It doesn't taste quite the same but hey, caffeine is caffeine and that's all Scout really needs to get through the day.

The only thing that might be slightly different, and Scout makes no mention of it until Engineer directly addresses it, is how often Scout seems to throw up in the mornings now. At first he was going to make some joke about it - ("Yeah, the sex is so bad I'm SICK after it") but as it continues into the third week of Sniper's death-flu or something Scout honestly begins to wonder.

Maybe it has something to do with whatever was in the syringes Medic keeps sneaking up on him? No, that can't be it, it's not like the start of Sniper’s sickness was the first time he’d had sex with Medic, and he's almost used to the needles by now. Maybe it's prolonged exposure to the infirmary and whatever-the-hell might be in it? That might be it, Scout KNEW there was a reason he never liked doctors...

Medic notices Scout's morning nausea in the middle of the second week and takes an unnerving interest to it. The man asks the fucking weirdest questions: How are your ankles? Any odd craving for foods? What about mood swings? Lactation? Scout ignores his interrogations for the most part, especially since the answer tends to be "No.” Medic is undaunted and quite happily comes to his own conclusion even without the evidence to back it up.

"Scout," Medic says one night after a particularly raunchy round of sex, "I have excellent news."

Scout can't manage much more than a contented hum as he rests his head against Medic's chest.

"Ze experiment was a success."

The runner lifts his head slightly to ask, "Experiment?"

"Ze serum has altered your internal organs as designed. Based on your last check-up, you are now pregnant."

Unsure of how to react, Scout puts his head back where it was. That can't be right, he's a GUY and, last time he checked, GUYS didn't fucking get PREGNANT.

"Uh, no." He says, but Medic just won't stop TALKING.

"Of course I vill personally moniter ze fetus's progress over ze next months."

"I'm not pregnant, man."

"You vill have to adhere to a strict diet - I vill be sure to tell Pyro of zis."

Scout gets up, a scowl set on his face. "Doc, come on, I'm not fucking pregnant!"

"Perhaps ve vill have to restrict your running to protect ze fetus.”

“I’m fucking NOT fucking PREGNANT!”

“And of course, no battles.”

That’s the last fucking straw. Scout jumps off of the bed and grabs his clothes, forcing his body into them furiously. He doesn’t know exactly WHY he’s so fucking pissed, whether it’s from irritation at Medic’s incessant talking or even the IDEA that he’d try to pull this prank on him (it’s not out of fear, of that much Scout is certain, like HELL he’s SCARED of something this fucking STUPID), but he throws his feet into each leg of his pants before whirling around to face Medic (who is STILL talking, did that guy EVER shut up) and punch him clean in the mouth.

Ignoring his yelp of pain, Scout slips out the door and exits with a reverberating slam. He slips off to Engineer’s room, because not only does Engineer have some medical knowledge (he has to, he built a machine that HEALS), he is a man who solves PROBLEMS and hell if this wasn’t a problem. Not that it was real. Right.

<>

Scout is deadpan as he marches back up to Medic, the glint in his eyes a little more than disturbing. Medic, not having forgotten the brutal meeting of Scout’s fist to his mouth, recoils as he notices how aggressive the walk happens to be.

“Hey, fucker, I’m pregnant and you’re the father. Which means that you’re going to be taking care of the kid because hell if I am, and that makes you totally responsible for everything that I do or happens to me. Got it?”

Medic blinks. “Really?”

The glare he receives chills him to the bone, and Medic wonders if maybe something is wrong. He KNOWS when Scout punches him in the face again.

“NO, CHUCKLENUTS.”

<>

“So why WERE you throwin’ up like that, mate?” Sniper asks as he sips a mug of hot tea. He’s not fully recovered but at least it’s safe for Scout to come into his room.

“Man,” Scout says, “I didn’t know how much I fucking missed your coffee.” He’s sure to emphasize the coffee, and not Sniper himself, but the marksman understands. “Medic was fucking poisoning me, I swear. Maybe he’s, I don’t know, immune to it or something but hell if I was; I don’t think ANYTHING could’ve prepared my stomach for that shit.”

Sniper can’t help but chuckle as he takes another sip of the tea. “Is that why you came barging in that one day demanding I get better? For the coffee?”

Scout shrugs, “Yeah, well I missed the sex too.” He grins cheekily and quickly places a kiss on Sniper’s mouth – the man tastes like mint, and Scout decides that he likes it. Before he can go any further though, Sniper places a hand on his chest and gently pushes him back.

“Whoa there mate, I know you’re eager, but I’m still a bit sick.”

Scout frowns and steals another kiss anyway. “Pft, whatever, you’re not contagious anymore otherwise you wouldn’t let me in the room.”

As it turns out, Sniper had Mono.

Lying in bed, too exhausted to move, Scout cursed violently in his head and decided that being pregnant probably wasn’t as bad as this.

11 .

24-I'm probably gonna get chewed out but here it goes.


The mixture of back-breaking labor and sizzling heat in the desert was almost intolerable. Medic dug a shovel into the hard dry soil and wiped the sweat from his brow.

" Demoman, don't you think zat this is a bit, vell, over zee top?" he muttered, looking at the Scotsman who was leaning back in an old rusted lawnchair, drinking a bottle of scrumpy with a little cocktail umbrella in it.

" What, ye don't believe we can grow a cotton plantation here, laddie?" he said, taking a drink through a bendy straw, " Ye be the one caught talking about about that nazi-type propaganda. This is merely poonishment! Ta see what my people went through! Now mush!"


And that is how Demoman celebrated Black History Month.

12 .

13 - Fuck or Die

" Guys. We all have to have fuck with eachother. Or we're all gonna die."


There was a gasp among the teammates.


" And we're going to have to keep it in /fic/."


There was a bigger gasp.



And then, there was censorship.



" Ach...Heavy, your slice of cake is too big..." admired Medic. " Vell, you can have some of it, doktor" cooed the Heavy. Medic put the cake in his mouth and savored it. " How is it, doktor?" he said, pressing down on the Medic's head with the palm of his hand. Medic murmured something, his mouth still full of cake. It was cream filled.

The Engineer was hesitant. Solder wanted to do a thing but he wasn't too sure if he wanted to go through all of this. Soldier pushed Engineer down to the ground and gave the hard-hatted man a crooked grin. " I'm gonna have tea party with you" he whispered into Engineer's ear. He took Engineer's teacup in his hand and held it firmly and began to put sugar cubes in it. " How many do you want?" he asked, putting tea in the cup. " Ungh....three" grunted Engineer. " I couldn't hear you..." said Soldier, serving Engineer a piece of cake. " Augh!! THREE!" Engineer cried out. And then they had gossip.

13 .

Soldier, after a particularly "commie maggot"-filled week, felt a Manly Urge, despite the glass of saltpeter-and-scotch he had with every meal(to stop from the Reds distracting him from removing them from his glorious United States with their dirty, Commie floozies). Putting on a dusty trenchcoat and a trucker cap that was in a broom closet for some reason, Soldier went about hijacking Sniper's rapevan by means of hitting the window with an entrenching tool until it broke and then hotwiring it, he drove the forty-five miles to the nearest town, which would be flattered to be called "podunk", had a red-light district(really, the thirty-five foot stretch between the post office, the fire department, and the residential area). Pickings were slim at best, but one blonde whore who didn't look old enough to be smoking the cigarette she held in her manicured, small hands approached the van and propositioned him in a slightly breaking voice for "a good time, hun".
Soldier proffered a ten dollar bill, which the whore scowled at and got in. They got down to business quickly, and Soldier was pushing the hooker's head down onto his "screaming eagle" when the curly blonde hair landed in a pile on his belly. There was a familiar black buzzcut and a shout of "OH SHIT" from the Scout realized from the look of horror and recognition on Soldier's face who he was, and Soldier just scowled. "Get done with it and then--" he pulled his KA-BAR out of his pocket "--we never, ever speak of this again."

14 .

15

" Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god".

Scout stood over the dead woman, Sniper standing beside him. The Australian took of his head and lowered it to his chest. " There's nothin' you could'a done, mate" He said, looking at the bloodied head where Scout bludgeoned her with a stool. Their trip to the titty bar ended in calamity.

" I-I don't know what got into me, man..." muttered Scout, acting as if he had never killed anyone before.

Sniper sighed and put a hand on the young man's shoulder reassuringly.

" It's alright, Scout. This sorta thing always works itself out. Now you take her by the legs and I'll get the arms. I know a nice secluded place in the Tule Desert ta drop her off at".

Once they placed the body into the back of the van, Sniper took out his pocketknife and carved another tally into the back door.

15 .

01. Genderswap

Pyro didn't know what had caused this abrupt switch in gender. Maybe there'd been a mixup of some kind with the teleporters or with Respawn or something. But it was weird, and it was embarrassing, and it wasn't the kind of thing Pyro was comfortable trying to talk about - not with any of them, even Medic (former Hearth member or not) or Engineer (who'd certainly be the one to go to if it WERE an issue with teleporters or Respawn). Eventually it would probably have to be addressed, but - well, the suit hid everything anyway, so they'd never know the difference, and if Pyro could just deal with it alone, it could probably just slip under the radar until the end of the contract, and then be dealt with privately.

Still, she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about suddenly having a penis.

16 .

01. Genderswap.

The Administrator yawned and stubbed out her cigarette, before turning to the next chapter of her WWII history book. The problem with great power was not great responsibility - it was great boredom. No wonder Daddy had spent so much money on whores and alcohol.
But she was different. She was not going to make the same mistakes that required Daddy's involuntary retirement and the splitting of the company. Throwing time and money away into mindless pursuits held no interest for her when she had life and death at her fingertips. There was always something else one could tweak.
She glanced down at the page and grinned. "Lyudmila Pavlichenko, eh? 187 kills in her first two months service?" Here was something that was worth experimenting with.
The Administrator grabbed the phone in her manicured talons and dialled her personal assistant. As usual, the boy picked up in seconds, and she barked her orders at him. Ending with, "And bring me my lunch."

Sniper staggered away from the respawn point and sat down heavily on the nearest bench. At the moment of regaining consciousness, something had felt really strange. The sensation was fading though - probably just respawn sickness.
She looked at herself in the mirror across the room. Damn, there was that strange feeling again.

17 .

07 based on makani's greaser medic


" Give me your lunch money, fraulein!"

" But I already GAVE it to you!"

The German man pushed the Scout down on the ground and cracked his knuckles.

" Vell what else do you have on you?"

" I got some baseball cards but I aint given em to the likes of you!"

Medic's fist met with Scout's stomach, making the Bostonian curl foreward, clenching his gut. He weakly took out a pack of cards from his pocket and shakily offered them to the older boy.

" Next time have more money on you" warned the Medic, opening the cards and tearing them in half, one by one.

The Scout's eyes widened in horror as he saw his allowance money being torn up into confetti before him. He trembled in anger and barked at the Medic as he walked off to recess.

" You'll pay for this, Doichbag! I swear it!"


The next day Scout was seen behind a large husky boy, his new bodyguard who Scout paid in sandwiches
.
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