>>14256
Let me then preemptively offer you our gratitude!

I stuck around for heavys big fat cock.

>>13700
Shuddup hippie

ill give you my mediterranean penis ooooo oooooo ooooooo ooooooo oooooooo

Okay, three quick stories.

First time I logged on the Mantrain, somebody was playing the orchestrated Phoenix Wright soundtrack. My best friend had just moved to Japan, and she was a huge fan of the series. So I felt happy and homesick at the same time. (I never seem to be on when everybody's on the Mantrain. Is there is a good time, in CST, for me to visit?)

Next--I firmly believe that you are playing Medic correctly when you haven't killed anybody and people are yelling over the mike about you. Let's say I had a little Harvest event where somebody raged at me for an abundance of consecutive ubers. My patient was a happy little Russian.

Third--one time, this gal and I held the basement of 2fort up for 49 minutes. It was probably some serious turtling, but I'd like to think of it more as a square dance. Two engies, a system of teleporters that made loops to and fro, two of every animal. Ya know. I think what especially made that round fun was that we had a Spy that kept riding our teleporters every time he was trying to sap them. He ended up with a wrench in his face. A lot. The only thing that broke the stalemate was our Scout getting two steals towards the last five minutes and winning the match.

While I was first getting into TF2, I met someone who was ALSO new to the game, and over the course of a year and a half we've become very close friends.

She's also the one helping me through the end of a very bad relationship that' been going on for four years.

Fuck yeah, Valve.

BABYS!

Just the general moments of playing with people like Perrydotto and crew, regardless of what server we were on. I was even lucky enough to meet Perry in person a few times and would have happily done the same with all my old friends at one point.

>>14745
overwatch is just something different after a while of playing tf2 i guess some people want to try some new class based shooter

Wait, Overwatch is hardcore? Are we playing the same games here? Or maybe it's because back in my day, the only competitive TF2 was league TF2, where we had teams that you tried out for and sometimes paid money to be on, and map reviews and you'd watch demos with your invite-level mentor so that he could tell you why you suck...

Overwatch, by comparison, boasts a ranked matchmaking system that is slightly less broken than TF2's ranked matchmaking system, but only slighly. Tryhards join this ranked matchmaking system hoping to have serious competitive matches similar to those in TF2's competitive community. The matchmaking system then proceeds to match them with a bunch of complete strangers who are nowhere near the same skill level, who may or may not have a clue what they're doing. None of them communicate, both teams run a Huntsman Sniper, one team stomps the other team, the worst player on the losing team posts in global chat flaming everyone but himself for the loss, the Engineer's sentry gets play of the game and everyone walks away feeling deeply unsatisfied. So basically, Overwatch's competitive mode has all the ballsweat and toxicity of a real competitive community but with only a fraction of the actual competition.

Overwatch also has a Quickplay matchmaking system which does not claim to be competitive or well-balanced. Ever since ranked came out, Quickplay is mainly used for practising new heroes or for pitting a team of six space apes against a team of six emo kids just for the hell of it. The seriousness is on par with that of a Valve public server, but it's still matchmaking, so you still have to wait to play and you don't get choose which map and you may never see your teammates again afterwards, which is a bummer.

They also came out with 3v3 and 1v1 game modes which are almost exclusively for dicking around. Every week they release a weekly brawl, which is a match with some weird rules (imagine a 6s match where you could only play Soldier) and is also just for fun. And every now and then they have events where they release a novelty game mode, which so far has included things like a horde mode and a rocke

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Holy fuck I am feeling much better because Kumori fixed ALL THE SHIT.

I don't understand what this is about tbh.

>>14758
Anon, who is "he?" What is "The Lessons?"

>>14759
>>14760

I see we have some lurkers who aren't oldfags.

Dr. Tanner's The Lessons. Right here: http://tf2chan.net/fanfic/res/4588.html

>>14335
I come on every couple of days to check things out, I can't speak for what anyone else is doing.

Scout has a really fluffy blanket that he's had for as long as he can remember. Every night he cuddles up to it and strokes it and whispers to himself "I am a great fighter" over and over again until he falls asleep. He's done it since he was like 2, and he hasn't lost a fight yet, so that makes it scientifically proven (in his mind) that it WORKS.

Soldier's mom always wanted a girl and always tells him that she thought he was going to be a girl and how DISAPPOINTED she is that he wasn't. Of course, that doesn't make her love him any less, but it never feels that way to him. He probably would have always had mental issues, but his upbringing didn't help none.

Pyro goes apeshit when they see magic tricks. Like they fucking LOSE it. No one can tell if they're really fooled into thinking the trick is real or if they just REEEEALLY love magic, but it's a surefire way to get the little firebug hyped af.

Demoman actually gets laid fairly often compared to the rest of his team. I mean, he's not that bad looking, and most women would find a guy who takes care of his blind, elderly widowed mom charming. He doesn't tend to have STABLE relationships because yanno... alcoholism is a bitch, and while he might be able to hide his addiction for a night, I doubt he'd be able to for much longer than that, but yanno. It's somethin. Enough to make Scout jealous, anyways.

Heavy is actually the second youngest member on the team, after Scout (and not counting Pyro because who the fuck knows). It's hard for most to tell because he's so... big. And intimidating. And... Russian. Also, he's used to being the oldest sibling so he naturally tends to "act" older. But he's not even in his 30s yet, surprisingly.

Engineer takes rediculously good care of his teeth. He brushes after every meal, flosses, all the good stuff. He also doesn't bleach (unlike Medic - but don't tell anyone), so his teeth are legitimately healthy, not just blindingly white. He's proud to say he's never had a cavity in his entire life.

Sniper smokes, but he smokes fancy

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Despite saying she only gets one day off a year, Miss Pauling has a surprising amount of free time (provided the mercs don't do something stupid).

Soldier cares the most about the team after Spy and Heavy, but between the lead poisoning and various degrees of crazy he has, he doesn't know how to show it and resorts to tough love and terrible jokes.

The entire team watches Star Trek. Engie was banned from talking during episodes after criticizing the science too much and making Pyro upset. He secretly writes to the producers and fan magazines about how it could be done better. Medic has tried to replicate several of the alien creatures including Tribbles. It did not end well.

Miss Pauling roller skates and is an avid roller derby fan. She could have been on a team before working for TF Industries but was considered too plain and non-aggressive for it at the time.

Heavy only pretends to be bad at chess because Medic is a sore loser and would whine about it to no end if he lost. Most of the team is in on it and gets a good laugh out of watching Medic get frustrated.

Spy is a swiss army knife of skills and hobbies. He has the money to get his clothes tailored but prefers to do it himself. Besides sewing, he knows basic carpentry, calligraphy, oil painting, bar-tending, cooking, and a list of other things. He sees himself as a Renaissance man and finds the various trades to be useful when creating covers for himself.

Animals naturally gather around Sniper due to his quiet, relaxed demeanor. Lizards and snakes are particularly fond of draping on him and hiding in his pockets. He takes it in stride and leaves bowls of water in the shade of his camper for the critters. He has yet to tame Lieutenant Bites.

Scouts brothers were all skirt chasers at some point and it rubbed off on him. His ma made very sure they knew how to treat a girl right in bed, but he never learned how to properly court women. This makes him nervous around anyone who is more than a potential quickie, but at least he can eat them out like a champ.

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http://www.teamfortress.com/gargoyles_and_gravel/

Entire team confirmed for a bunch of fucking nerds.

I laughed like a fiend when I read the Heavy v. Pyro comic, especially when Heavy barreled himself through that fence like it weren't no thang.

o/ Somebody at Valve is a Cat Bountry fan! o/

>>14736

Fuck fences, man.