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14758 No. 14758 hide watch quickreply [Reply]
"The Lessons" is never going to be finished and I never got the chance to read the original fic, which I assume was scrubbed from the internet once he started writing 2.0

This chan is dying and he'll never finish it, in part because of that.

I still think about it, sometimes.
>> No. 14759
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I don't understand what this is about tbh.
>> No. 14760
Anon, who is "he?" What is "The Lessons?"
>> No. 14761

I see we have some lurkers who aren't oldfags.

Dr. Tanner's The Lessons. Right here: http://tf2chan.net/fanfic/res/4588.html

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13316 No. 13316 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [First 100 posts] [Last 50 posts]
i watched Léon, The Proffesional the other day.

theres a part where he says that the better the assasin, the closer he can get to his target and how you start at the sniper rifle and work your way down to the knife.

because of that i now believe that Spy is actually a better sniper than Sniper is
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>> No. 14336
I come on every couple of days to check things out, I can't speak for what anyone else is doing.
>> No. 14739
Scout has a really fluffy blanket that he's had for as long as he can remember. Every night he cuddles up to it and strokes it and whispers to himself "I am a great fighter" over and over again until he falls asleep. He's done it since he was like 2, and he hasn't lost a fight yet, so that makes it scientifically proven (in his mind) that it WORKS.

Soldier's mom always wanted a girl and always tells him that she thought he was going to be a girl and how DISAPPOINTED she is that he wasn't. Of course, that doesn't make her love him any less, but it never feels that way to him. He probably would have always had mental issues, but his upbringing didn't help none.

Pyro goes apeshit when they see magic tricks. Like they fucking LOSE it. No one can tell if they're really fooled into thinking the trick is real or if they just REEEEALLY love magic, but it's a surefire way to get the little firebug hyped af.

Demoman actually gets laid fairly often compared to the rest of his team. I mean, he's not that bad looking, and most women would find a guy who takes care of his blind, elderly widowed mom charming. He doesn't tend to have STABLE relationships because yanno... alcoholism is a bitch, and while he might be able to hide his addiction for a night, I doubt he'd be able to for much longer than that, but yanno. It's somethin. Enough to make Scout jealous, anyways.

Heavy is actually the second youngest member on the team, after Scout (and not counting Pyro because who the fuck knows). It's hard for most to tell because he's so... big. And intimidating. And... Russian. Also, he's used to being the oldest sibling so he naturally tends to "act" older. But he's not even in his 30s yet, surprisingly.

Engineer takes rediculously good care of his teeth. He brushes after every meal, flosses, all the good stuff. He also doesn't bleach (unlike Medic - but don't tell anyone), so his teeth are legitimately healthy, not just blindingly white. He's proud to say he's never had a cavity in his entire life.

Sniper smokes, but he smokes fancy
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>> No. 14749
Despite saying she only gets one day off a year, Miss Pauling has a surprising amount of free time (provided the mercs don't do something stupid).

Soldier cares the most about the team after Spy and Heavy, but between the lead poisoning and various degrees of crazy he has, he doesn't know how to show it and resorts to tough love and terrible jokes.

The entire team watches Star Trek. Engie was banned from talking during episodes after criticizing the science too much and making Pyro upset. He secretly writes to the producers and fan magazines about how it could be done better. Medic has tried to replicate several of the alien creatures including Tribbles. It did not end well.

Miss Pauling roller skates and is an avid roller derby fan. She could have been on a team before working for TF Industries but was considered too plain and non-aggressive for it at the time.

Heavy only pretends to be bad at chess because Medic is a sore loser and would whine about it to no end if he lost. Most of the team is in on it and gets a good laugh out of watching Medic get frustrated.

Spy is a swiss army knife of skills and hobbies. He has the money to get his clothes tailored but prefers to do it himself. Besides sewing, he knows basic carpentry, calligraphy, oil painting, bar-tending, cooking, and a list of other things. He sees himself as a Renaissance man and finds the various trades to be useful when creating covers for himself.

Animals naturally gather around Sniper due to his quiet, relaxed demeanor. Lizards and snakes are particularly fond of draping on him and hiding in his pockets. He takes it in stride and leaves bowls of water in the shade of his camper for the critters. He has yet to tame Lieutenant Bites.

Scouts brothers were all skirt chasers at some point and it rubbed off on him. His ma made very sure they knew how to treat a girl right in bed, but he never learned how to properly court women. This makes him nervous around anyone who is more than a potential quickie, but at least he can eat them out like a champ.
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14474 No. 14474 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
so how bout that comic
8 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 14543
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Entire team confirmed for a bunch of fucking nerds.
>> No. 14736
I laughed like a fiend when I read the Heavy v. Pyro comic, especially when Heavy barreled himself through that fence like it weren't no thang.

o/ Somebody at Valve is a Cat Bountry fan! o/
>> No. 14737

Fuck fences, man.

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8388 No. 8388 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
obviously the 10th class will likely never exist, unless they do happen to input a VIP protection/escort mode.

but its always fun to dream, etc. so drop some of your ideas about what the tenth class could be... heres mine:

The Scavenger:

>spawns with no weapons and ammo (maybe just a strong pistol.)

>has to get weapons (and in some cases, special equipment) from fallen enemies and teammates.

>has same health as the soldier

>same speed as the sniper

>can use any melee weapon from any class, provided he can scavenge them in-game.
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>> No. 8954

Sampson was actually exactly what I thought of when I read the description. My objection to 'combat chaplain' wasn't an objection to having a chaplain on the battlefield at all, just to having one that dealt damage...

But, I like the idea of a holy man on the field who couldn't kill you, but who hurt you if you killed him...
>> No. 8956

that does sound like a brilliant idea
>> No. 14735
I have an idea for a class: the Artillery.

Weapons: Multi Missile Launcher, Machine Gun, Sledgehammer

The Artillery is heavily armed and armoured, which makes him a walking tank. He is a combination of the Soldier and Demoman, but he uses long range to dispatch his foes just like an actual artillery piece. The Artillery lacks any sidearms and he is very slow, even slower than the Heavy.

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14425 No. 14425 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
My first time playing tf2 i chose the map ctf_doublecross. I played engineer and was so confused about everything. I did not even know you could build. I only chose engie because of the meet the video.

I used to pray to star and jerma every day and would enjoy their videos to death. I wanted a baby faces blaster so bad, and when someone else got it and not me, i got irritated.

Those were the days...
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>> No. 14584
Scout's so fast that I used to get vertigo playing as him. Games don't usually make me sick, but playing Scout, playing L4D in general (no idea why), and Guns of Icarus (the rocking of the airship) all make me slightly dizzy. What's weird about the GoI example is that I've been on an actual boat, and that never made me sick, but the virtual one does.
>> No. 14631
I started playing TF2 in 2011 and I only played offline bot-mode. Looking back on it, I think it was because I was afraid to make an ass out of myself in a real server. I almost always played engie or spy.
Kind of reminiscent thinking about it. I guess being naive and new to the game provided a greater sense of immersion. Did anyone else have this feeling?
>> No. 14733
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Only play Sniper vs Sniper maps.

Slowly realize just about everyone who is a regular on the server is gay.

I Soon I realize that I am gay as well.

Now you know where gay people come from. Use your secret knowledge for good.

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14619 No. 14619 hide watch quickreply [Reply]
I wanted to know if the passes are available yet, also I wanted to know if anyone else has seen this.
>> No. 14621
God I wish.
>> No. 14625
Oh SNAP I have not seen that yet! Where'd you get this screenshot?
>> No. 14630
Looks very promising!

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14360 No. 14360 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
Talk amongst yourselves about this fan made update.

I wasn't hyped about this short at all so I think it was pretty decent overall.

>Valve queerbaiting this hard
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>> No. 14372
Regarding the map, I myself have been playing it recently out of curiosity and I have to say, while I'm no pro map tester I know for a fact it is a flawed as fuck map. It has some really awful sentry spots that can mean one team that locks it down with a Pyrbro can be pretty much invincible, it also feels like a lot of the area's are just pointless. Like rooms and little stair wells that really have no reason. On a cosmetic note I feel like it had some really off lighting choices however that could simply be due to it not getting finished.

But yeah, I personally can see why Valve dropped it in the end. It was just the manor that they dropped it in that caused the whole backlash. They just needed to be blunt and tell us what they didn't like, not blame new players.

But yeah, fok it. We'll get over it.
>> No. 14500
Wnowplow sucks i always do bad when im playing that laggy piece of dog shit.
>> No. 14544

So, 'bout that most recent update.

"No, no wait, Merasmus lagged. Do-over!"
"Either I get your soul, or I get my soul! I am all [BLEEP] about souls tonight!"
"I'm in Wizard Heaven. Gandalf's here too. Because he dies in the book. I hope that spoils that for you. Oh, and Harry Potter's here too."

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14431 No. 14431 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
(pic unrelated)


Miss Pauling is gay, and the fanboys are pissed.

To quote the Heavy: "Bah ha ha ha! Cry some more!"
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>> No. 14444
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>uses "queerbaiting"
>is told it's dumb and gay

Yeah, okay.
>> No. 14473
I check up on this place and uh. I knew there was a good reason why I left
>> No. 14477
Haha yeah anon, it's been extra salty in general around here lately.

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14449 No. 14449 hide watch quickreply [Reply]
ITT: Funny experiences. Posts are go.
>> No. 14460
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joined a random workshop map server with some friends and the server's admin decided it was grappling hook time

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14419 No. 14419 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply]
only posting this here because they decided to delete everything. tbh it was the "i can do what i want on my blog :D" that made me save the pics
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>> No. 14454
>> No. 14455
They're defending fictional non-con. Not real rape. And they're one individual. I don't agree with them. Rape, even in fiction, makes me uneasy. I wrote a noncon fic for drama once, and people thought it was hot. It made me so goddamn uneasy.

1. They commissioned someone to write a heterosexual Heavy/Pauling fic long before she was outed as gay. The person is merely filling out their commission.

2. She's just a fictional character. They all are. Medic's canonically possibly with a woman, and so is Heavy, and every fic I've read consistently portrays them as 100% gay, and repulsed by the idea of sex with a woman.

3. It's great to have shows with more diversity and so on, and I support it, but at the end of the day, none of this shit actually affects the real world. At all. Ever. No amount of gay porn or trans headcanons stops trans people from being brutally murdered, or gay people from being disowned by their families. That's the kind of shit that actually affects the real world.

4. Valve are such pathological liars that it's a good chance she's heterosexual. They deliberately say things to piss people off and give them false hope.
>> No. 14456


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