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File 13289434047.jpg - (28.78KB , 625x313 , 189037_10150134459888571_793968570_6637802_5183989.jpg )
11455 No. 11455
I know this is a retread of another thread with a similar title that used to be here, but I finally found something that irked me enough to restart it as a new thread.

I am a writer on DA, and lately, it seems I keep running into this story/art where the mercs from TF 2 decide to settle down and raise babies together, mostly with one character becoming the perfect "mommy" character while their lover becomes the perfect "daddy" to back them up. Sometimes the characters adopt a child, other times one of them will magically have a child (no explanation given as to HOW the hell this is possible). But either variation makes me see red to the point where I start grinding my teeth together.

I hardly think any of the characters in TF2 is going to give up their job to have babies. Respawn aside, mercenary is a job where there is a high chance of dying- how does that leave your kids if you should die? Two mercenaries? Double the problem- and there is no real sign that any of the guys dislikes their job- in fact, they seem happy and enjoy what they do- I don't see them leaving just to make babies. And considering how the Announcer got the Soldier and Demoman, fast friends, to go out and try to kill each other, what do you think she'd do to the mercs who ran off to settle down together and raise kids?

But the really irritating part, to me, is that whole "merc makes a perfect mommy" aspect. These are GUYS. I don't care what you think of the characters, I cannot see any of these people playing "mommy". Not Scout (UGH!), Not Spy (Double UGH!) and for heaven's sake, not Medic or Heavy!

This isn't even going into how this is the 60's, and you'd be extremely hard-pressed to find ANY judge willing to let a child be raised by 1) two mercenaries (for the reasons stated above), 2) two men (children need a female mommy and a male daddy or they won't grow up right was a common feeling at the time. Yes, most people know better NOW, but this was 40+ years ago!) 3) not going to give a child to crazy people, which most of the mercs admittedly are.

On a tangent- I can think of no worse nightmare scenario than growing up with Medic as a father. He doesn't need a test subject for his new medical experiments- he grew his own! And because he's the father, as long as he can justify it in an "I believe I am doing this in the best interests of my child" sort of way, he's very likely to be able to get away with it with the authorities and his neighbors. I can only see this turning out as high test nightmare fuel when it comes to what any children of his are subjected to.

And just really- "Mommy"? I am so not seeing that with ANY of the characters.

What are your least favorite parts of fanon/things that make you cringe- in fic or in art?
Expand all images
>> No. 11456
File 132894555068.jpg - (467.05KB , 798x1264 , tf2winter13.jpg )
I don't know, Spy seems like he'd make an OK dad in his own weird way.

I don't like people who lean too far one way or the other in characterization, Medic being the prime example. I think his interest in the team goes beyond just seeing them as fodder for medical experiments, but I don't see him as team mom or anything- he'd feel bad if one of his men died, but he'd definitely pick at the remains with his bare hands.

"Damn, he vas one of zhe finest soldiers I've ever known..." *Pulls out bonesaw.* "Vell, might as vell see if his brain was misshapen. He's not using it anymore, eh?" *Proceeds to messily cut through the skull, humming a German folk song. At one point or another, he may use Soldier's head as a grisly puppet.*
>> No. 11457

No, not "Team Mommy". I mean, plays the mommy, like, where he stays home baking cookies and homemaking all day in the apron- because that's what mommies do (I'm puking here as I am typing this, because this gets all into gender stereotyping as well, which also strikes an ill chord in me.), while "Daddy" goes out and does Daddy things, like teaching the little sprout to ride a bike and play baseball and go camping and stuff like that.

And I'm not even talking about Spy being a Daddy, but the one in the apron baking cookies and waving his handkerchief as the two "boys" go off for a weekend of camping with the boyscouts and stuff like that. It just makes me gnash my teeth and rage- I'm all for differing interpretations of the characters, but for heaven's sake, these are Men, not a male version of the 50's homemaker Holly Hobby or something, dreaming of the day when they can leave the war behind, settle down with their male lover and bake cookies. I don't see any of the characters being like that, and I have a hard time seeing how some of these authors DO.

It has managed to piss me off more than the weepy bishie uke characters that permeate the fandom.
>> No. 11458
File 132897578422.jpg - (111.47KB , 800x600 , I am Monitoring this Thread.jpg )
I feel like unless too many people get butthurt, I am going to love this thread.

I frequent ff.net, and one thing I see there is excessively pathetic scout/medic/spy.

Excessively pathetic- def. They act like a kicked puppy, all the time. You start to wonder, how the hell did they manage to get hired when they FALL APART LIKE A KLEENEX IN WATER in every situation. ALso they have a terrible tragic background story.

And then you have a “Protector” character. And it’s just mushy mush from there on. It’s sorta cute for a while, but then it just gets annoying.

I don’t dislike all fics like this, they can be well done by the right people but certain ones just grate on me.
>> No. 11459
Usually, I write out my issues with other fanfics. I think Dixie was a good example of that.

What is it with some writers on FF.Net that can't work up a decent description for their fanfic? I rely so much about what I read based on a couple of sentences on the main page. The least they can do is show me a little flex of their muscles. Some flavor text. Anytime someone says "I can't write a description", all I see is "I can't write."

Also--minor pet peeve, but I stop reading stories anytime I run across a non-canonical name. I pretty much live on wiki.teamfortress.com when I write. Being as close to canon is important to me, especially as a fanfic writer. You wouldn't name the Doctor "Matt" or "David". Well, maybe you could. Technically. But I digress.

A lot of Scout porn makes me cringe. Actually, a lot of ScoutxAnyone makes me uncomfortable. Most of the time, he comes off as a weak, fragile teenager. You know, the buck-toothed mouthy guy with an aluminum bat and a sawed off shotgun? If any character gets the shaft for being a poor writer's stand-in, it's the Scout. (Then Spy, Sniper, and Medic. Sometimes Pyro, if Pyro is portrayed as female. Oddly enough, not so much the Demoman, Soldier, Engineer, and Heavy. I wonder why...)

Outside of that, standard grievances. Female stand-ins that could not possibly be mercenaries. Female characters as maids. Overly young characters. Anachronisms without explanation. Characters acting out of character. Characters not attempting to work as a team. What was the name of this game again?
>> No. 11460
Woobification, what a marvelous way to easily generate angst.

When it comes to dark and tragic pasts, I'm sad that with the one character who's confirmed to have one (Heavy - father executed, him and his family sent to a gulag), it's rarely mentioned let alone explored in fics.
>> No. 11463

I wish this was only a problem in one fandom, but it's EVERYWHERE. Even worse are the people who are putting themselves down. "Please excuse this story- it's shit and I can't write." Well, then why would you expect anyone to read it? Or it's some kind of passive-aggressive shit where they want everyone to tell them how wrong they are, which is also irking for a different reason.

If you know the story, as written, is crap, and you feel you cannot write why are you posting it in the first place?! I mean, do you want to spread misery in the world, or something? If it's really so bad, fix it before you post, or just don't post it at all. Is that really so hard to do?
>> No. 11464
Eh, I already blew my load last time and opened a can of worms that probably should have left closed.

Although I guess if I had to complain, I wish people would mix it up a bit more when it comes to characterization. People seem to fall into two extremes when writing our favorite death-tag playing mercs--either as super nice/sweet/angsty/easy or super evil/sadist/rapey/psycho. It's not either/or with these guys, they do have range of emotion even in their voice responses.

(Mind you, I do tend to make the same mistake when it comes to writing classes I don't ave a handle on, it is easier to just plonk down a few generalities and move on. But still.)

Okay, one more thing...I don't know where the usual "cutsey wutsey" characterization of the Scout comes from. He's got an ego a mile high, and the only time he sounds even remotely nice is his "thank you" responses--and that's universal for all of the classes, done deliberately so Medic players could hear some genuine appreciation from the ingrates that they're healing.
>> No. 11470

I don't think I'd ever attempt a Heavy back story fic. When I was in the Hetalia fandom I wrote fanfiction and, I had to do actual research to make the events historically accurate. It was a pain in the ass.
>> No. 11471
Okay that came out wrong. What I meant was it was too much work to try and make everything neat and tidy and non-anachronistic. It just seemed easier to make everything up yourself rather than subscribe to actual historical fact and double check wikipedia every other sentence.
>> No. 11474
It'd be nice to see parent fic in any fandom where the character, regardless of gender, takes in a kid and does both "mom things" and "dad things" with them.

I admit to making up super fluffy things and having sex with characters in my head, and I'm ashamed about it, but I'd never write fanfic about it. I think it's my brain's way of calming myself down when I get nervous.
>> No. 11480
I think everyone daydreams about banging the characters at least once. Or at least the perverted end of the fandom does (hi guys!)

As for myself, I stopped reading fanfiction on ff.net and dA a long time ago for pretty much the exact reasons mentioned above. I tend to browse ArchiveOfOurOwn instead as it's a relatively new site and there hasn't been too much of a weeaboo influx yet. The TF2 section is kinda tiny at the moment but once it comes out of beta I expect more (or, you guys could just ask me to send some invites out that would be cool).
>> No. 11488
It actually really bothers me when people write Pyro as a woman, because it seems like a huge chunk of the fandom uses it to chick-ify her or worse, objectify her. Even if/when she's portrayed in a constructive, quasi-respectful way someone almost invariably ends up boning her (sometimes frequently) if she's not some kind of horrible scarred mutant. When that isn't the case I find the way fem!Pyro is portrayed in most other fics to be pretty insipid, like she's only there to be a set of tits with quirks stuck between them.

I don't mind the characters being portrayed at one extreme or the other, I find most of the cast to be pretty extreme as is. What I don't like is the way some writers deconstruct them from those extremes into weak or flat characters, which happens fast and happens often.

Also, the whole Medic = Nazi/Jewish ex-prisoner thing has worn very, very thin on me. In the case of the latter it usually winds up being an extremely disrespectful and poorly-researched portrayal; in fact it's actually equally appalling in the case of the former, but in a different way.

I'm curious to know what the fandom thinks of people writing fics about their TF2 OCs (and not necessarily the shitty ones) though.
>> No. 11489
OCs like differential on a class or entirely new character all together?
>> No. 11490

These. THESE. I used to have a big problem with the former with a current RP partner of mine (most of her characterization was great, but for some reason, her medics were all really... wimpy), but we finally found a way to resolve the issue.

You know what pisses me off in ANY fandom, but this one in particular? When people put in OCs as an excuse to self insert and then FOREVER ARE SLASHING.

These guys are mercinaries. No one cares about your sobby, angst-ridden past. No one cares if you can't find a place to hide during Humiliation. No one is going to put their neck out for no reason to protect yourself if you're not doing a good enough job to do it yourself! AND GOD, NO ONE CARES IF YOU'RE CRYING.

And god, no one wants to bang your 12 year old ass. No, not even Scout. I'm pretty sure that'd still be illegal. (Considering that he's probably 17 at the least - maybe even in his mid to late 20s.)
>> No. 11491
Torture fics that reek of "too lazy to research duuurp". Especially when the characters bounce back like spring fresh tulips after it's all said and done. Or, conversely, just whine and angst and cry and act terribly OOC afterwards.

These guys ARE mercenaries - I'd imagine they'd try to hide their pain for as long as they can before letting it all out. And even then, there's more things that you can do to emphasize psychological trauma more than "WAAAH THIS CHARACTER WAS MEAN TO MEEE". If anything, I think that a severe social disconnect - especially with a character such as the Scout would be just as effective, if not more so. And it's the more accurate portrayal of conditions such as PTSD.

I did a looot of research while writing Breaking Point, and I feel like it gave it a tone more emotional resonance. 'S all I'm sayin'.

(Also sometimes they don't even get the torture methods right! Or make up their own, laughably ridiculous versions of torture. Just... no. No, kiddies, no.)
>> No. 11492
Oh, also. This is just a minor annoyance, but I dislike it when people only stick with ONE pairing and make ALL of their stories revolve around that ONE pairing. Sniper/Spy is a big suspect - I don't even bother to read stories featuring that pairing anymore - but Heavy/Medic is another big one.

The main reason is because I feel that ALL pairings are crack pairings. All of them. I don't care about logic or reasons - these are all guys who run around and blow each other up for a living. They're all crazy. And you'd have to be crazy to SERIOUSLY (as in, being passionate about why your pairing could work SO WELL and/or saying that anyone who doesn't agree is stupid) ship the mercs. Sorry, it's just what I think.

With a game like this, you can experiment with pairings all you like, and none of them would every be considered "wrong", because there is no right. So have fun with that! An RP that I'm currently uploading with Izzy on /zombies/ has strong implications of Soldier/Spy, for pete's sake! And we love it!

Also, this may come as a surprise, but I THINK that Medic can sleep with Scout someone without cutting them into itty bitty pieces by the end. Not a well known fact in TF2 slashfics.
>> No. 11493
File 132916382243.jpg - (73.24KB , 261x261 , DONOTWANTMedic.jpg )
Actually I love the idea of 2 mercenaries being together and adopting a kid (later on when they get older and can’t work anymore, ofc), especially BLU spy after that smissmas comic; I don't know, now I feel pretty dumb after reading your opinions about it haha, but yes I know it would be impossible.
but hey it's super fluffy and I can't fight that sweet feeling ok?

To be honest I never saw malexmale parenting, just a lot of fem!classes being mommies or, spy being scout’s true father? That didn’t make much sense.

But ok, let me see what else I despise on the fandom:

>Femclasses in general
Because they’re so cute, hot and especially tsundere, argh. If you ever saw a fem!class rp tumblr/fb then you know what I’m talking about. They all fall In love instantly, they’re all annoying feminists and they’re so /easy/, if you know what I mean. Oh and they all get married and pregnant while working for BLU/RED too, lol.

>Most scouts
Because they’re all 14 year old virgins and they’re not /gay/ but yeah they always end up being fucked in the ass.

>Bad use of French/German in most fanfictions
Like seriously, if you’re writing a fanfiction with spy or medic in it, please don’t just go to the fuckin translator and translate like a whole sentence to english because we all know how that ends (or apparently not?).

>When spy starts saying random lame stuff in French
Mon amant, mon lapin, je suis desolé, honhon. Like seriously? I mean… gah. That’s so fucking lame. Please don’t.

>Bad character names
And again spy, medic and even heavy seem to be the victims with horrible names. I know most people google “French/german/Russian baby names” (lol) but some names are just so horrible… and some don’t even make sense. I’ve already spotted people using greek or polish names because they sound French/german or using a family name as the first name.

>BAD plot twists or never ending fanfictions

>It’s the 60’s, so NO technology
Uh. Ok. I know it’s the 60’s but still. I wrote a fanfiction once where there were cellphones, microwaves, and other devices and someone was bashing on it because well, it’s 1964 (If I’m not mistaken) so logically, no cell phones.
Well. Ok. I know /it’s/ 1964, but C’MON – engie makes teleporters. FUCKIN TELEPORTERS. They transport people from a place to another. And you’re telling me that there is NO WAY that cellphones can exist on the tf2 timeline? Jesus.

>Extremely dumb heavy
He’s not that stupid nor does he speak Russian as often as most writers think. Do you even play the game? Yes his English is extremely bad but he doesn’t speak Russian on the battlefield. And he doesn’t speak like Hulk either.

>BLU/RED being the same person.
No. Just…No. They’re all different from each other. Maybe not physically because that would mean Valve would have to design different skins for each class but c’mon. And there’s this confusion and mixing about the tf2 plot like BLU spy dating RED scout’s ma, BLU scout having 6 brothers like the RED scout, RED engie called Dell as the BLU one, … etc.
I know there isn’t much info about BOTH two people in the same class but… yea.

>Nazi medic
To me this idea will never, ever, be ok. Do you know how insulting this is?

>fuckin necrophilia
The way some people write gay romance about tf2 makes me feel sort of disgusted and confused because some characters act like fucking teengirls. It makes me wonder if this people ever watched real gay pr0n or have any idea how real gay relationships work.

And I think that’s it. Sorry any typo.
>> No. 11494
Entirely new characters altogether, like when someone just ditches part or all of the original cast.

>Bad use of French/German in most fanfictions
This bothers me, as I speak both (one better than the other, though). But it follows into the pet peeve I have with characters speaking in different language. If they have something to say in their mother tongue, I prefer it if the authour writes it in English and follows up with "...he said in German/French/Russian."

>Yes his English is extremely bad but he doesn’t speak Russian on the battlefield.
He spits out fragments of Russian on the battlefield but I don't think that implies that he doesn't speak it often on his own. If there were another teammate who could speak and understand it (most likely Spy) I reckon he'd speak Russian to them, just between the two of them. I can see him talking to pets/animals in Russian as well.

This. Jesus christ.
(p.s. I love Breaking Point, thank you for keeping it real.)
>> No. 11496
I do see good femclasses every so often, or at least femclasses that I consider alright- wearing no makeup, personality of the male class but in a female body, unfettered by gore, not getting along with everyone on their team. I don't see characters stabbing members of their own team, though- maybe Medic for "research", but nobody intentionally murdering each other.

I don't see EVERY pairing as plausible, and honestly, I only really draw Heavy/Medic because it's the closest I see to having any canon weight to it. I'm not really a shipper otherwise.

I hate Nazi Medic too, and honestly, having him as a prisoner isn't as bad, but I can see why someone'd get offended. I have a friend whose Medic was Jewish but essentially stayed under the radar and nobody found out- but he wasn't in the war, either. TVTropes speculated that he used the mad scientist reputation to scare the soldiers and they left him alone.
>> No. 11497
File 13291709819.jpg - (84.10KB , 542x354 , HappyKawaiiSpy.jpg )
>Yes his English is extremely bad but he doesn’t speak Russian on the battlefield.
>He spits out fragments of Russian on the battlefield but I don't think that implies that he doesn't speak it often on his own. If there were another teammate who could speak and understand it (most likely Spy) I reckon he'd speak Russian to them, just between the two of them. I can see him talking to pets/animals in Russian as well.

Yes you're right. I imagine that spy speaks most european languages or at least that he understands them (being european myself I can easily understand other european languages such as spanish even though I don't speak it). Anyway, I meant that most part of fics I read Heavy starts speaking russian all the friggin time when only medic seems to do that (as in speaking a foreign language to his teammates, not worrying that they won't understand him)

Well then maybe it's just me; I really despise fem!classes. The less female characters the better for me, haha.

As for nazimedic, I actually intended to say that it sort of sucks to see every german characters in a fictional story or game being related to nazis/jewish.

Oh and by >fuckin necrophilia I meant fuckin y_a_o_i. tf2chan trolling me.
>picture sorta related?
>> No. 11498

I honestly wish there were more Jewish characters in anything in general- all I ever seem to see, if at all, is really bad stereotypes.
>> No. 11500
I feel you on that, and I hate it. My understanding of Judaism is fairly poor, but if I was going to write a Jewish Medic, especially one who had endured a death camp, I'd try to avoid stereotyping him.

I guess my big peeve with the fandom is that people don't do any freaking research 8 times out of 10.

I admit to having written a fem!Scout, but my RP partners let her slide because she runs along the lines of what was described in >>11496 quite strongly. I think it's just a matter of downplaying the fact that she's a, well, "she."
>> No. 11502
I could help you on at least basic Judiasm- holidays and traditions and stuff.

And same here. My Femmedic only acted explicitly "feminine" off the field and with her two closest friends. Otherwise, she was essentially identical to my Medic headcanon. I don't think it's fair to dismiss all femclasses as bad. Even the ones with "wimpy" personalities that I see are less and less bad clothing-wise, at least.
>> No. 11569
I found the perfect and horrible example of the type of female classes I was talking about.
Well actually this is the 10 class but it still counts.

"Hallo! I'm the Messenger of the Red team! You may call me Mess. I'm Thai/Chi and probably speaks your language too.

I couldn't post all the 88 posts because it would be TL;DR and tf2chan as a word limit so I picked my favourite facts about the messenger class:

The Messy Facts
1. The Messenger is a she…
2. The Messenger’s right eye is 50 shorter sight than left 20 due to reading while laying on her side a lot.
4. The Messenger is talkative towards her comrades but completely opposite to strangers.
5. The Messenger had ADD but she was unofficially treated by her classmates and replaced her condition with anti-social.
6. The Messenger took 7 years for her Bachelor degree on Communication Arts, main reason: cutting class, later locked herself in her own room and get out to finish her last year.
7. The Messenger didn’t attend school by her own choice. She wanted to go to acting school.
8. The Messenger’s father is a high-ranked officer in royal army and her mother is a great housewife. Sadly, she never get along with her parents.
9. The Messenger had an issue of anti-social and listed as hikikomori for not leaving her room for 2 years , just before she figured out the reason of her to hate society which lead to herself getting involved with the gangsters rampage in center Bangkok on 1957. All 35 death of the gangsters associated with her actions were all listed as Self-defense. This issue later developed into Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She finally noticed how unique she is to other apes around her.
11. The Messenger was married once, 3 years before she works or RED. The marriage lasted long enough for her to get the green-card. Later she easily passed a American citizenship exam. A week later, her ex-husband committed suicide, reason unknown. She had her name changed afterward and her record on RED is Single, not Widow.
12. The Messengerhas . She doesn’t believe in love and she constantly use others’ feeling towards her to the best of her benefit and wishes death upon everyone useless to her.
13. The Messenger’s favorite subjects were Psychology, Philosophy, History and Languages.
14. The Messenger refuse to make use of her braincells on other human-beings unless it benefits her.
15. The Messenger’s forever favorite song was The Beatles’s ‘Yellow Submarine’ as she referred yellow to Asian and submarine as the world, you can guess the rest. For classical, her favorites are; Mozart’s Lacrimosa, Vivaldi’s L’estate and L’inverno, Beethoven’s and Chopin’s Marche Funèbre, Brahms’s Ungarische Tänze #5, Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana.
19. The Messenger’s shoe size is 6
20. The Messenger is C-cup.
21. The Messenger never had a driving license.
25. The Messenger has over 25kg of coke in her procession which she used occasionally without her roommate’s knowledge about it. It was snatched from who she called ‘The Chinks’ back in NYC, the reason why she fled towards Mexico in the first place.
26. The Messenger had her name changed at least 3 times.
33. The Messenger joined RED mostly because she was broke and wouldn’t risk her ass selling her Coke and give ‘The Chinks’ the trail.
34. The Messenger doesn’t smoke but drinks occasionally until she’s drunk enough to have fun. She bewares of getting wasted because she would start sobbing her life issue on others which she refuses to think about.
35. The Messenger’s only times of not smiling is when she’s asleep or when she snaps which is very rare.
36. The Messenger never regret her action and too cold to remember the faces of those she had killed.
40. The Messenger weight almost 170 pound during 2 years of self lock-down. It has reduced ALOT during her work-out before the big rumble.
41. The Messenger has a collection of marksmanship awards, she collected during her 4 years on graduate school. During her interview, she said she practiced everyday for 2 years by shooting the kids next door from making noise too close to her room where she refused to leave even though she doesn’t like Sniper Rifle.
42. The Messenger never let anyone know her real age or birthday. She’s listed as 24 in RED’s record.
49. The Messenger learned English when she was very young, hoping some American soldiers would drop by her backyard, to her traps.
50. The Messenger learned German, Italian and Japanese because she expected the axis to have won WW2… Sadly, she was very disappointed. She also took advance German class during her year in university, hoping they would raise again.
51. The Messenger learned Korean, hoping someday she could advice them not to do the same mistake Japanese did with Russia during WW2. Sadly, there was no use of it.
52. The Messenger can speaks Cantonese, Mandarin, English, German, French, Thai, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Polish, Finnish, Italian, Russian, Latin, and over 30 dialects.
53. The Messenger learned the rest of her language choices off the books during her lock-down.
54. The Messenger didn’t bother with Vietnamese because she knew civilized American apes wouldn’t be able to win a war against the forest monkey. She was right.
58. The Messenger never had any best-friend. She stopped considering any other human being a friend ever since she entered Jr-highschool.
60. The Messenger had both 2 feet in reality.
61. The Messenger look at religion as logical examples. She doesn’t believe in any even though she was practiced as a buddhist during her childhood.
62. The Messenger had been called from both RED and BLU… but she favored RED over BLU ‘cause it’s red.
64. The Messenger does get laid once in a while…
65. The Messenger sometimes questions her own goal of life… if she has any.
67. The Messenger only had 10 dollars left when RED contacted her.
69. The Messenger is easily irritated with lack of manner.
70. The Messenger is reminded by scout of her two younger brother, who she used to pick on lot when she was young.
74. The Messenger has a huge collection of antique toys.
75. The Messenger buy pornographic magazine and share it with soldier[!?]
78. The Messenger likes hanging around with batshit insane, they entertain her.
81. The Messenger’s first kiss was when she was 14. It was an experiment and it was disgusting.
83. The Messenger lived her first week in 2forts resupply room, the second week in Medic’s office, later suggested by Spy that soldier was looking for a roommate..
85. The Messenger caught herself on fire for playing batshit insane game with Pyro and Demoman… drunk…
86. The Messenger still has no interest on getting involved in any type of relationship other than acquaintance level.
88. Messenger just finally falls in love with someone during the beginning of 1968… at the age of 34. It was so foking dramatic…"
>> No. 11571
File 132976461418.png - (16.26KB , 291x300 , thisisonlyafractionofmyragetowardsthispost.png )
Sometimes I wish I could meet the people who write these things, just to set them on fire.
>> No. 11572
File 132977651372.jpg - (35.89KB , 500x500 , 307c1bd3e8473e6c435c30d8215b12e8.jpg )
"50. The Messenger learned German, Italian and Japanese because she expected the axis to have won WW2… Sadly, she was very disappointed. She also took advance German class during her year in university, hoping they would raise again."
>is 24
>was in college during WW2
>It's the 1960s


I won't waste my time reacting to all of the stupid mess on this.
>> No. 11573
Angst. Just like most things, a little bit done well can possibly enhance a story, so yeah it can be well done, but it just really irks me when writers like to throw lots of angst and guilt onto a character where it's just incredibly out of character, or there's no good reason for it to be there.

As a worst case scenario I reference a story I saw once featuring Spy, where he was shy, had no friends, hated himself, hated how he looked, was anorexic, had chronic insomnia... the list went on. It seriously made me gag. It was one of those things that was just so bad you couldn't stop reading. But I had to make myself eventually, or I was just going to have to be ticked off at the world for allowing such a thing to exist.

Obviously most fics are nowhere near that awful, but very out of place angst just really irritates me.
>> No. 11574

>The Messenger had ADD but she was unofficially treated by her classmates and replaced her condition with anti-social.

>had ADD but she was unofficially treated by her classmates
> The Messenger can speaks Cantonese, Mandarin, English, German, French, Thai, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Polish, Finnish, Italian, Russian, Latin, and over 30 dialects.

This is what really grinds my gears, I tell ya what. You can't be diagnosed with ADD and have it magically get better. Trust me, I've tried.
>> No. 11575
Are you serious? I'm sorry but I'd like the link for that fanfiction, I'm in the mood for some laughs.

Don't feel upset, really - because it's not worth it.
People just keep adding problems and diseases to their characters like it was something really cool and deep. Maybe at some point in their lives someone told them they had ADD and that they could speak a couple different languages or like this >>11573 anon referred, they really are anorexic friendless people but the thing is, this people need to separate themselves from their characters or else the result is going to be absolutely ridiculous.
>> No. 11577
Right here:

Just a small glimpse of the horrors waiting inside:
"The pit of his stomach felt like the eye of a tornado, full to the brim with an aching hole that could be called emptiness. Feelings of loneliness and questions swirled round in the middle, acting like the funnel while sadness and slight anger created the top layer. The whole lot was serving to rip him apart.

Spy wrapped his arms around his stomach, resisting the urge to gasp. He knew this was depression but he was in too deep to resist; his lack of eating was leading to anorexia and he was at the point where he would cry into his pillow every night.

Quietly, of course."
>> No. 11579
My favorite part of this story is the ass-kissing Reviews. So glad I found TF2chan for my fanfics.
>> No. 11580
File 132980004267.png - (134.18KB , 550x660 , 1328129904836.png )
Almost every badfic on FF.net gets at least a dozen suck-ups loving it.


I was waiting for "He reached with a pale, trembling hand stained by tears wiped away for the his radio. He turned the dial with single-minded focus until the familiar sound of Linkin Park crackled out of the speakers."
>> No. 11581
File 132980188919.gif - (278.90KB , 500x256 , 1329777852320389.gif )

I read the whole thing.

This gif represent how it made me feel.
>> No. 11582
File 132980340286.jpg - (18.84KB , 184x184 , 130515572513.jpg )
Maybe not fanon, because even the stupider parts of fandom would probably get this right, but:

>> People talking about Saint's Row 3, asking who plays the male Cockney voice
>> Tell them Robin Atkin Downes did (fun fact: he's also the Medic in TF2)
>> Get three different responses telling me he played Sniper, not Medic, or plays both
>> John Patrick Lowrie is nowhere in the game
>> No. 11585

Honestly, I must agree with you there. The one that got me was where she is in lockdown (presumably in school) for two years, yet still finds time to gain AWESUM SNIPUR SKILLZ by shooting at the kids next door. Yo, SWAT teams will get your ass for that, hon.


Nor does ADD magically "become" Anti-social.
>> No. 11590
This is why I cross post as well. I feel that at least I'll have more critical eyes observing my work here. Granted, it's mostly B-grade monster schlock, but that's what I like to write.

Although, there are a couple of fellows on FF.Net that crack me up. Any time I see 'Faux Promises' or 'Cyber Rex', I can trust the review. They routinely correct weepy-eyed romantics, and God bless them, because I certainly don't have the energy. I did have a nice gal that discussed women's issues with me as well in one review (and an ensuing messaging chain), so that was nice as well.
>> No. 11591
My cringe is Medic smut that could have any other "doctor" character from another series pasted in and it would still work. I mean... every cut-paste-able fic bothers me but especially with Medic and especially with smut. Why would you write generic doctor/patient smut? There are so many tools in TF2 that could make it unique. I don't think I've ever read smut with the Medigun. If that exists, please point me to it.

Scout also bothers me. He's an egoist, not a whiny teenage homophobe. He doesn't reject lifestyles, he just thinks his is the best. I don't see him being up in people's faces all the time, accusing them of being fags and stuff. I've never been to Boston, is there something about it that makes this natural?

At that, this IS the 1960s... why is it always Scout having a gay problem? If anything they should all feel a little threatened in the sexuality if one of them turns up gay. Instead of Everyone/Phobe!Scout, how about some anti-homo feelings from one of the older, really manly dudes? I would pay to see Soldier freak out. If anyone would have a good reaction to a gay it would be Soldier, totally.

Or Sniper! He is a total fail at being the Australian stereotype of manliness and his daddy doesn't love him for it so he compensates with bad language and rudeness. I imagine he would be a bit reluctant to play himself as a poofter.

TL;DR-- /begin rant. TF2 characterization is too weak. /endrant.
>> No. 11593
>I don't think I've ever read smut with the Medigun. If that exists, please point me to it.

Totally read something like that once. I loved it. I forget where though, but I think it was here. Possibly in the archives...?
>> No. 11594
I don't even get how she got a degree. Didn't she left school? It's so confusing, ergh.

I'd say that's valve's fault right there. We don't know much about medic, aside from meet the medic. He's never in the comics nor does he get that much attention like the other classes in the updates (like soldier or demo).
I just don't like when they make medic all sadistic and shit (I mean, he is sort of sadistic I mean like abducting other classes and making weird sexual experiments...haha), I see medic as a really nice guy with a weird sense of humor. At least that's the idea I got from meet the medic.
>> No. 11595
>hasn't seen Soldier have bad homophobic reactions to gay teammates in fanfic

What fics have you been reading? If Soldier isn't going to be one of the gay characters, people usually always make him homophobic, especially toward Heavy and Medic (Cat Bountry's fics, anyone?). Even if Soldier does end up being gay myself, he usually ends up hating himself for it from what I've seen.

So I'd wanna see someone try to pull off the whole team homophobe without using the obvious suspects of Soldier and Scout. I'd say someone like maybe Heavy or Demo or Sniper, but with exception to Demo, Heavy and Sniper are both part of popular OTPs so it'd be conflict of interest for most writers.
>> No. 11596
Every time I read a fic with soldier he suddenly turns gay, has sex and ends up being a homophobe and acting like nothing happened.
>> No. 11597
You guys are obviously a) noobs or b) just reading the fics where Soldier is supposed to be gay ie Helmet Party.

Seriously, in my two years of being here, Soldier being a bigoted homophobe is not a rare occurance.
>> No. 11598
this happens alot in real life (I know that very well)
>> No. 11599
File 132985574585.gif - (301.40KB , 165x115 , 132443319961.gif )
>> No. 11600
Considering that here in America, every few months or so there's some anti-gay conservative politician is in a scandal where he fucked a dude, I believe it to be pretty normal too.
>> No. 11601
Wasn't funny.
>> No. 11602

>My cringe is Medic smut that could have any other "doctor" character from another series pasted in and it would still work. I mean... every cut-paste-able fic bothers me but especially with Medic and especially with smut. Why would you write generic doctor/patient smut? There are so many tools in TF2 that could make it unique. I don't think I've ever read smut with the Medigun. If that exists, please point me to it.

Let me point you to Teratomarty's fanfictions.
If it's written by him, chances are it's amazing AND medically accurate.
>> No. 11603
The severe lack of hats. Most writers basically turn the characters into OCs, but no one ever wears anything other than their default hat. Why not? You have hundreds of other options.
>> No. 11605

Adding on to this, I'd love to see some other maps, weapons and maybe game modes being represented. I've read many a TF2 fic, but the maps I see most often are 2fort, Dustbowl, Badlands, and Well (mostly for plots that involve the train in some way). As for game modes, the guys only seem to be capturing intelligence and points. I think a fic with a Payload could be great if done right, or maybe Arena mode depending on the status of Respawn in the story.
>> No. 11607

I've yet to see one of Doublecross. It's a perfect setting! It's night, lots of hidden areas, dark corners, etc. Perfect for Spies.
>> No. 11609

Someone needs to draw pinups of the team/well-done genderbends wearing nothing but hats.

Bonus points for Medic wearing nothing but the plague doctor mask.

Perhaps people need to learn to write/draw non-fandom smut. Just because it's drawn or written doesn't mean it has to be fanart/fic- I've seen a lot of writers use fandom to hold their hand when writing when they'd probably be better off doing original stories.
>> No. 11610

Not just a degree... a graduate degree!

What I want to know is why she needs Sniper skills and whatnot when she's a Messenger. I'm not even going to ask WTF they need a messenger for when most of the TF2 bases aren't that large, and Solly isn't standing back observing the battle and sending Ms. Overgualified and her 60lbs of cocaine to relay orders to people (he's not their superior, nor in charge, and he's usually right at the forefront of battle anyway.

I mean, what does she do? Runs up to the Sniper's nest to tell him the Spy says he's ugly and dresses funny, and does he want to respond? Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to try to explore that, but apparently my mind can't resist.


I could easily see a man thinking that as long as the other guy was sucking him off (or something) and the homophobe didn't touch the other guy, he wasn't really gay, or something like that. Or the magical "it's okay as long as we don't kiss, or as long as I'm the one pounding his ass- as long as I'm not the one being penetrated, I'm not really gay,"-type thinking
>> No. 11612

Never mind. I found the page. Yes, apparently that's what she does- delivers messages between the passive-aggressive people on her own team. Give me strength.
>> No. 11613
>Bonus points for Medic wearing nothing but the plague doctor mask.
>Bonus points for Medic wearing nothing but the plague doctor mask over their crotch

>> No. 11616
Lol. Why would she even have cocaine with her.
>62. The Messenger had been called from both RED and BLU… but she favored RED over BLU ‘cause it’s red.

Should I just go tell her how horrible her character is?
>> No. 11617
I googled this chick and found her tumblr

Don't make the same mistake I did. It's not worth it. It'll just leave you with a case of indigestion so strong, you won't even have the will for trolling.

Not that I was going to, anyways - that'd make the chan look SO unclassy.
>> No. 11618
It's not like I was going to troll her - more like... an angry critique?
Hum I have her tumblr - her art is really good. Shame.
>> No. 11642
What bothers me is the cliche that homophobic Soldier must've been sexually abused as a child to end up the way he is. Or any class really. It would be an interesting twist if all homophobes were really gay but sometimes people really are just bigoted to begin with. Besides the whole homophobia-having-a-Freudian-Excuse angle comes from debunked and frankly offensive stereotypes anyway.
>> No. 11644
>Bad use of French/German in most fanfictions
I clap to this. I mean okay sometimes it can be used and i forgive if it has just a few flaws. But in generell i like more the idea that the author writes it in english for all people to read who can´t speak german. Besides i don´t have anything if they let say medic say once in a while one word in german rather in english, because it is really hard to remember all the english vocabels and sometimes i let one german word slip, too if i speak. Except petnames. The horrible use of medic and him saying german petnames. German is complicated with it´s grammar. And one german petname used wrong ruins for me everything. Like him callinng Heavy meine Liebe. Yes it means love, but a man would say this to his woman. If he would call his man love than he would say mein Lieber, which is more used in a sense to reprimand someone rather in a loving way(even Meine Liebe is more going into this way). If Medic would ever use love as petname than i would suggest the german word meine Liebste/my love (woman) and for a male counterpart mein Liebster. Still we have here on the chan many people who speak german and i believe if someone would really bother to know something he could just ask in the workshop thread for help.

>Bad character names
I don´t know of spy much, but i totally buy "bad" medic names. Because i have here a book of favourite common german names around 1940 and earlier.
And they are all somehow horrible. As example Gottfurcht. Even a awesome name like Beowulf was suggested there, too. It got some chuckles out of me. Still sometimes they choose names which weren´t even in this favourite namelist, but are just ridiculous to take. What became out the favourite Wolfgang, Hans, Horst, Fritz or Johannes? Timeless classics. I never see these names in a fanfiction. They need ever to be fancy. But than again i would clap to someone who would call him Samuel, Daniel ect., which would ride along with my favourite headcanon that he is a non practiting Jewish.

>2. The Messenger’s right eye is 50 shorter sight than left 20 due to reading while laying on her side a lot.

Pfahahah. I don´t even bother to read further than that, because eyes don´t fucking work like that except if she uses to read in Twilight books which have a letter size of 7pt. and than it would take a course of years to really show.
>> No. 11645
File 133019791018.jpg - (270.93KB , 600x864 , tf2___naughty_stuff_by_yuikami_da-d4qop5a.jpg )
>Soldier must've been sexually abused as a child
oh god, no. my baby

OH I completely forgot about the mein leibe thing. But that's probably because I don't read much heavy/medic. Not only it's not the correct way to say it as it's super corny.

>Wolfgang, Hans, Fritz
It's always one of this three names. ALWAYS.

>The Messenger
I forgot to post this. Her art is really good, I don't know why she's ruining it with her horrible OC.
Anyway, here have some neko fem!class x 18 year old sniper bieber.
>> No. 11647
File 133021381482.png - (63.32KB , 249x211 , watfaec.png )
>Anyway, here have some neko fem!class x 18 year old sniper bieber.

Captcha: Confus'd tteesCap
>> No. 11649

I always figured if he was, it was because of the social climate at the time or because he grew up during WWII and his dad had seen WWI, and he was all "Men should be macho and show no fear and that's why you can't be feminine" or whatever.

But I never write child abuse or rape into any of my stories as a rule unless it's based on something in a fandom where canon explicitly hints at it.
>> No. 11650
*was homophobic
>> No. 11656
What annoy me most about this fandom, is whenever someone tell me something is canon... and it's not.

I hate it when someone whine/talks about tentaspy. Bitch, he's not in the game, why should I care?
The same thing with the medic/heavy romance. I hate it when someone says "They are clearly in love, it's canon".
No. it's a joke. It's cool and all if that's what you want to think, but don't go force it down my throat.

Also, I hate how i can almost never find any serious fan fiction.
There are so many serious/awesome scenarios you could write from this game.
Yet all fan fiction is about love and romance. The closes thing, I've seen, to any kind of conflict in a well written fan fic, is the "Romeo and Juliet" scenario.
>> No. 11658

I don't think you're gonna go anywhere (and by that, I mean, other fandoms) and not have slash and shipping dominate the content of fanfiction. Not saying it's wrong to not like that stuff, but it's kind of one of those hard truths of fandom. Considering that fan writers aren't paid, I can't really blame them for writing stuff they enjoy.

Serious is kind of an odd word to use, too, 'cause I have a hard time taking TF2 fics that take themselves seriously, seriously. TF2verse is a crazy, kooky world from what canon we have. I always find it kinda weird to read fics that try to place TF2 into our real world. If they try to stick to realism too rigidly, it suddenly becomes unbelievable, funny enough.
>> No. 11659
I got to thinking about this topic the other day (again), and I realized I had another pet peeve with some TF2 fan stories. Oddly enough, it was something I noticed when I tried reading that Twilight rehash novel from Edward's perspective that got leaked. I made it about eight pages, then gave up due to nausea. First time I ever got sick from a book.

There is a serious problem with a lot of romance stories regarding "the others." You've probably run across an instance of this. It's a trope where Character A (usually the Sniper or the Spy) doesn't get along with his teammates because of some characteristic that makes Character A unable to bond with his teammates. Usually, it has something to do with his intellect, his sexuality, or his quietness. This always makes me ask several questions:

1. Has the character even attempted to bond with his teammates?
2. If the incident went horribly, why did you not write that scene? (It would make for fun drama!)
3. Why is his [insert trait X here] so divisive amongst a group of quirky mercenaries?
4. Why does only one other person share this trait?
5. Why is this person almost always on the other team? (Isn't that a conflict of interest?)
6. If their significant other is on the other team, why hasn't the Administrator stopped their relationship by now? (I mean, did you know about the WAR! update?)

This probably relates back to my issue with "team members not working as a team". It is a huge problem with many TF2 players that I've run across. There are tons of people that do not think with a collective mindset. They don't think about furthering a company, a band, a group in their school. It's all about what they want--narcissistic impulses. Which, hey, it works great in a capitalist economy. It does not work for a team.

So, back to my issue. A lot of times, a character may be ostracized for some quirk. On the other hand, they may be misreading their teammates and looking down on them. Like, "Oh, look at this loudmouth braggart. He can't possible understand my emotions. I'm going to cork up and not ever communicate with him." This works horribly. Communication makes or breaks a team. If someone tries to be a rogue agent, they will get their asses handed to them, no matter what their skill levels are. If they're truly so special that they can kill everyone in the other team without any help, then why does RED or BLU even bother with hiring anyone else?

This was my first irritant of many with the Twilight series. So much of the main characters' time is spent feeling that they cannot possibly relate to the plebeians around them, and that their intellect or introversion makes them superior and special. This is a villainous way to think. Some people have simpler needs, goals, or mindsets than others. This does not make them shallow and by extension evil. Greed and selfishness makes people evil.

tl;dr It's only through constant fighting, joking, and interaction that a team can function and grow. When someone starts thinking about how special or unique they are, and how their quirks and abilities make them incompatible with their company, they endanger their team. The name of the game is Team Fortress 2. I wish more people would write with that in mind.

But perhaps I'm over thinking this.
>> No. 11660

But serious doesn't mean it can't have any form of humour (at least that's not what it means to me) It simply means that it have a real plot (not just character X loves character Y, drama ensues) and actually wants to look like a real piece of fiction.

Also, I think the point you raise about other fandoms is pointless. It's like saying "becurse others can't have nice things, then we can't either".

Also I don't care, All I'm trying to say is i'm really tired of stupid fanfiction-
>> No. 11669
>"becurse others can't have nice things, then we can't either".

Man, if there's one thing about the internet that frustrates me to no end is people inferring stuff that wasn't even said.

I was pointing out that your particular gripe is something that can be applied to all fandoms, when this is a thread for gripes about TF2 specifically, and that trend is expected and propagated throughout fandom culture. Note that I said expected and not accepted. 'Cause I wasn't telling you to accept it. If anything, I found your assertion "pointless" without the explanation of what makes the presence romance in the scope of TF2 less legitimate than something without. If I wrote a story about Soldier and Engineer being buddies shooting the shit on the battlefield (which I have), why would that be more valid than the stories in which I make them actual lovers? Technically, there would be the same sorts of conflicts in a fic that was dealing with a friendship, so I don't think romance is the sole issue here, and your post didn't really offer an explanation other than it being your opinion.

Fortunately, DF38 wonderfully elaborates on the inherent flaws of putting strictly romance in the world of TF2 because it takes away things from the team dynamic that is at the core of the game canon. While I can understand writers wanting to focus on their favorite characters (Hell, I'm notoriously guilty of that), the characters get isolated (Like with Sniper and Spy and the writer deeming them to be loners, so they end up being alone together) and often times, the drama comes from pitting certain teammates turning against the "lovers", which further shits on canon of these mercenaries being able to work as a team.

I always find it weird when in fic, Soldier genuinely hates and actively works against his non-American teammates, or Spy being untrustworthy and willing to backstab his own team for his own gains. With the former, I know Soldier isn't actual military, but the military is very much about working as a coherent unit, and would think that Soldier could at least understand that the needs of the team would outweigh his own. And how could Spy function with a team who could not trust him, as trust is invaluable when it comes to team-building.

I'd definitely like to see more exploration of the TEAM part of Team Fortress. I think it kind of says something about how people play the game, where no one really knows how to fulfill the team part. (I wonder if character customization in-game has made that kind of worse because now people are focused on making themselves look unique and different.)
>> No. 11670
You madame, just inspired me to write something I've been meaning to do for a long time.
I always thought about a plot for a team fortress movie yes I know it sounds dumb. But by movie I mean something...realistic? And not around just one character (or two/romance).
I wish there was someone I could discuss my ideas with though, my friends don't know how to criticize so, yeah.
I'll start writing as soon as I can.
>> No. 11671
The only gripe I can think of at the moment regards Spy. I prefer seeing him as a character where you seriously don't know what he's planning or thinking about. Obviously this would be different if he's the main character or if the story takes place in his point of view, but if you're planning on doing something big with Spy, try not to have it be so obvious what he's planning. It's one thing knowing that he's obviously up to something, it's another thing to be able to pin point his exact plan in the first few paragraphs. It just lessens the fun for me really.
>> No. 11674
I don't think you've looked hard enough. I can think of a story off the top of my head (that's not mine) that has to do with pure, unadulterated drama and in-team dynamics, with no hints of romance thus far. It's in /fanfic/, and I think it goes by the name "Team Meets The Team". There's another one - the widely popular "Respawn of the Dead" by Cat Bounty (one of my favorites of ALL TIME), and I, myself have written on Called "Breaking Point". Of course, you did say "ALMOST never", so maybe I just proved your point, by only being able to come up with a whopping three examples.

Anyways, I think the inherent problem with making a well-functioning TEAM Fortress 2 fic is the hang-up that... Well, conflict is the driving point in a story. If the team works together well, and there's no "dark secrets" or "brooding member who always lurks in the shadows", than a lot of conflict gets cut down. It'd just be a story about them working at their job and... doing their job well, most likely, and... Well, that's about it.

Not that I'm saying conflict would have to be nonexistant! It's just that it'd be harder to come up with, and lord knows that sometimes it's just plain EASIER to take the "broken and brooding" way out. Still, it's an interesting concept, and since I've hit a block with my own babu, I might look into giving Teamworking Fortress 2 a chance.

Oh, fuck. I totally forgot how shit I am at fight scenes. SHIT.
>> No. 11706
Ditto. There need to be stories like this. Honestly I think I really good writer could make it even from the Spy's perspective and you still not know exactly what he's planning. I've wanted this so bad that I started writing one myself. I stopped when I remembered how bad I am at serious plot development. It was going to be a back-and-forth between the two spies; a sort of competition, always trying to one-up the other, to gain the upper hand. The whole while both of their teams were oblivious to all of it.

I kept thinking "I want it to be like... like..." I knew there were stories out there to which I could compare what I wanted this story to be like, but it kept alluding me. Finally I realized the number 1 story that was probably in the back of my mind was Death Note. That's when I really dropped the story like a hot potato. I knew nothing I wrote would ever compare to how deliciously twisty that story was, and I would always be comparing mine to that and feel really discouraged.

This is why I can never write any story of any significant length; I keep comparing my writing to all my favorite stories and then get discouraged. =/
>> No. 11707
>>11594 Agreed. I always think of him and Engie the opposite of how people seem to think about them, with the general "everyone's friendly uncle" typecast for Medic and Engie as more of a mad-scientist loner.

>>11595 >11597 I dunno. I mean like, as a focal point of a story. When I read Solly slash he's never violently against the idea. It could very well be I'm reading all the wrong stuff. Or maybe my idea of homophobia is differant-- I mean fear, not just predjudice.

>>11602 I read 1Sniper1Jar and I um. I'll have to work myself into the suggestion, but I will try. Thank you.

>>11613 That, combined with a "Full Monty" parody.
>> No. 11708
One thing which bugs me about fics in general is the notion that they're permanently stationed at one base, or they go right from one base to another with no downtime. It's established in what little canon there is that they aren't always on missions and have some semblance of lives outside of mercenary work for RED and BLU, but that part isn't looked at too often. Not even with something like Scout lording his job over his brothers - if Demo gets paid five million a year in 1968 dollars, and Scout earned anything close to that that, he'd be insufferable at Thanksgiving dinner.

>>11660 >>11674
I've done that. With 'Put On Your Face' I wanted to see if I could balance Pyro's desire to integrate with the team while simultaneously keeping what's under the mask private. Not so much 'broken and brooding' as 'this is none of your goddamn business so stop asking and have a nice day.'

They're difficult to choreograph and coordinate but I love it when I can pull off a big party scene with everyone hanging out and talking to each other and generally enjoying the company.

I've thought about it, and while a lot of the hats are fantastic, there are some I wouldn't use in a fic, like the Nanobalaclava or the Dead Cone - I think that using something like those, which are promotional items from other games entirely, would disrupt the internal consistency of the story. Stuff like the Exquisite Rack or Dr. Whoa, on the other hand, would fit with that.

It's kind of like why I don't want to write a story involving a payload race: that mode works perfectly for a video game, and I have no idea how I'd pull it off in the sort of fics I'm writing.

If someone else did, though, I'd love to see what they come up with.
>> No. 11717
I agree about the monetary part. Five million 1968 dollars is equivalent to 32.5 million today. The mercenaries are filthy rich and I'm hard-pressed to find stories of them doing anything in their spare time with that money...
>> No. 11737

Well, if Heavy's claims are to be taken seriously, he probably spends a good chunk of it buying ammunition for Sasha et al. And it's vaguely suggested that they buy all of their own loadouts, whether ordered directly from Mann Co., or bought/acquired via other channels and then modded.

Other things I see the mercs doing with their buttload of money:
- Buy your own island, castle, politician...
- Building a vault, filling it with money, and trying to swim in it a la Scrooge McDuck
- Blowing it all in Vegas
- Sending it home to parents who think you're a crazed gunman
>> No. 11739
Whenever I read a bad fic I imagine that it was written by Scout. It makes me feel better and occasionally leads to much amusement if the fic is really excruciating.
>> No. 11744
>> No. 11745
I really only hate how people think they're the greatest fan artist/fic writer when they only, ONLY, write/draw romantic, wubby-dubby shit for two characters. It's all they ever write, and when requests are open all they accept is that same pairing.
I don’t hate Sniper/Spy, Sniper/Scout, or Heavy/Medic. In fact I rather enjoy them. (STOP LIKING WHAT I DON’T LIKE does not apply here.) I just need some variety once in a while y’know? Doesn’t mean you should stop writing/drawing them I just want you to get better at writing/drawing the other classes too. I hope this doesn’t sound bitchy.
I also hate when people have multiple dumblrs and instead of posting art in their ‘art only dumblr’ you get pages of “My life is so hard.” In ALL of their blogs. Unfollow. Even if I like their art.
“Wahh, you’re being critical of my stuff. Wahh.” Shut. Your. Fucking. Face.
>> No. 11749
File 133116186525.jpg - (89.16KB , 640x480 , 100 out of 10.jpg )
>I really only hate how people think they're the greatest fan artist/fic writer when they only, ONLY, write/draw romantic, wubby-dubby shit for two characters. It's all they ever write, and when requests are open all they accept is that same pairing. I don’t hate Sniper/Spy, Sniper/Scout, or Heavy/Medic. In fact I rather enjoy them. (STOP LIKING WHAT I DON’T LIKE does not apply here.) I just need some variety once in a while y’know?

In fact, ALL of it times forever. Marry me, you slut.
>> No. 11750
>Parts of Fanon that make you cringe

-people don't like saxton hale enough
-people getting angry when someone ships medic with anyone else other than heavy
-when someone says that jarate is a mental desease
-not everyone likes tentaspy, learn how to live with it - there's no need to get angry just because someone doesn't like tentacles
>> No. 11757
This is more of a rant.

I'm watching someone on Dumblr who flipped out when that Gif. of Spy getting headshotted got more reblogs/likes than a video of Kony 2012 he reblogged.

Just, what?! Why the fuck do you care? Everyone on Tumblr has already reblogged that video like a thousand times. Why are to telling us you're 'disappointed in us' you fucking dick? Do you just care about becoming more popular than Minttu? You have good TF2 art but that's no reason to be a fucking asshole.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad people are finally starting to give a fuck. But you look like an ass when you assume people just don't care about a subject when you have no idea if they've already reblogged something.

TL;DR: TF2 artist is mad when nobody reblogs Kony 2012 from their page.
Also, It annoys me when TF2 artists I initially like turn out to be pretentious assholes. Or are just altogether unpleasant to talk to.
>> No. 11758
and kony video thing? I have no idea of what that is LOL
>> No. 11759
The Kony thing is this campaign to raise awareness about this guy in Africa who's kidnapping kids and turning them into prostitutes, child soldiers, his own personal army, etc. He's a scumbag, and everyone only just now seems to be noticing, I guess. There's a lot of controvery now because the video makers are making a lot of money off of stuff that should be going to the charity, and they're supporting an army with multiple accusations of rape, and there are reports he's not even in the country they think he's in, and some say he's actually been dead for five years, etc. etc. Big internet thing right now, basically.

Parts of fanon that make me cringe are when they modernize the stories-badly. Saw one once on ffnet (Eek) that had things like iPods, cellphones, and they used lingo from the 80's, yet said it took place in the 60's, and everyone listened to music from the 50's.

It was just ridiculous. I don't mind so much if they want to modernize the story, but at least make it consistent. If it takes place in the 80's, then make it all from the 80's- technology, music, pop culture, everything. Don't pick and choose without doing any research.
>> No. 11760
PM me @ christophexgregory.DevArt.com

I really want to unfollow because he's such a fucking dick.
>> No. 11761
Some of these I don't mind. Sometimes someone isn't really a shipper, so they only like one pairing. I don't mind Tentaspy (although I don't like how rape-y he gets), but I don't understand how he came about.

What about the Earbuds? They do have iPods of a sort.
>> No. 11762

Fuck that, I'll post the shit you're too afraid of making public you pussy.


There, change the D's to T's. I don't know why you hate the pictures of him rubbing mail all over his face.
>> No. 11763
I never understood this sort of mentality. Comparing fanart to serious real world issues is apples to oranges. It takes 5 seconds to look at that Minttu .gif and go "hey this is neat" and like it or reblog it, while the Kony thing takes a serious lot more thought. Also neither of them are related in the slightest!

It's similar to when I see people whining about how fanart gets more attention than "original" art. Well yeah, that's going to happen. People like things they're already familiar with and it's easy to tap into that audience rather than building your own.

It's just the nature of the beast. There's no need getting worked up over it, and just because a .gif of Spy gets 2500 notes doesn't mean people think it's more important than real humans dying.
>> No. 11764

You don't need to type it as Dumblr. The wordfilters on websites were removed a while ago. Tumblr works just fine and dandy.
>> No. 11765
This kind of situation (posting something someone out of the chan did and shit) is what makes people think tf2chan is a terrible place with terrible people. Not sideing anyone,just foreseeing more unnecessary dramu.
>> No. 11767

Sorry Furei, I'll make note of that for next time.

All the people who I've heard hate TF2chan hate the gay orgies or they were 13 year old weeaboo twats who's bullshit nobody put up with.
And the Sniperdile/CrocoSniper freakout.

"Wah, nobody comments on my art! I'm not as well known as ____! I'm going to be an asshole to my followers! That'll make them like me! Stop calling me out on my shitty behaviour! Wah!"
I pretty much hate the entirety of the TF2 fandom, with TF2chan being the only exception.
>> No. 11768

I agree with Furei. Don’t take tumblr drama to TF2chan and don’t take ’chan drama to tumblr—or anywhere else, for that matter. Ranting about a person anonymously and off-site is ungentlemanly and cowardly behaviour. If you really want to make this a fandom issue, start a thread about it on tumblr, not here.


Honestly, guys, I think you’re asking too much. Most people in the fandom are not professional artists or authors and all of us have other concerns that take priority over drawing/writing. For many, fandom is a form of escapism from real-life stress and real-life issues. We’re here because it’s fun and because it makes us feel good, and if this is no longer true we leave the fandom and find something better to do.

I do agree that challenging yourself artistically to improve your skills is important (that’s why I love the honest critique here at the ‘chan), but most of us don’t have a portfolio to fill. Of course we’re going to focus on the pairings we like most, especially if we don’t have a lot of time because of work/education/family to spend on writing/drawing.

Instead of saying ’I hate how people only write/draw their favourite characters’, you should appreciate them writing or drawing at all. The alternative isn’t them writing/drawing for other pairings, it’s them leaving the fandom. I’m sure we can agree that quality fandom contributions are preferable to, well, nothing, even if it’s only for one or two pairings.


I’m sorry you feel this way. I am a part of the fandom on tumblr (writingcyan.tumblr.com) and it has been a wonderfully rewarding experience for me to feel the synergy made possible between artists, authors, and gmodders by the unique format of that site. Most of the writing I do these days is inspired by art or comments I see reblogged on my dashboard, and similarly I’ve received fanart for my stories from artists who’ve seen them on theirs.

The ‘chan is a great place for honest critique, but I have in the year I’ve been here never made a single friend. All my fandom friendships have happened through tumblr. So I really can’t agree that the fandom outside of TF2chan is horrible. I like both.
>> No. 11771
File 133155642485.jpg - (72.37KB , 279x328 , solly.jpg )
>> No. 11776
I feel like people don't give Scout enough credit when they write him. Often he's written as an over-the-top drama queen who's easily prone to screaming 'fag' or 'queer' like he has a bad case of Tourettes. I think he has a world of depth that just isn't explored as much as it could be. At the very least I think people could be a bit more creative with the insults. If he's going to have a potty-mouth make it an inventive one.
>> No. 11777
Hey, I'm not going to take back what I said. I know it's selfish and pointless whining, but that's kind of what this thread is about. I like Team Fortress 2, as in ALL of the characters involved, and when all I see is someone writing the same story with different, slightly minor events, it just gets boring fast to me. If you're not serious about writing, that's fine! Just don't get a big ego about your stupid collection of 50+ Sniper/Spy dramas.

And, yes, I'm totally aware of how petty / bitchy / what-have-you I sound, but I didn't come to this thread to be politically correct. I'm SO srs about writing, and in my fucked-up brain, if you're not as serious as I am about writing, WELL, WE'RE JUST DONE HERE. If you say you ARE, well then I better see some goddamn experimenting with shit 'else I'm outty - variety is pretty much the best thing ever.

Again again again, this is all my opinion. No one get on my case, please - I'm just talking about things in general - not pointing any fingers or saying that everyone else who doesn't agree with me is wrong forever - just how I decide on what to read and what not to read.

Ooh, I like this.

Anyways, you know something that I'd like to see, actually? I'd like to see a silly Spy character. I really would. I feel like that guy has a lot of potential for being humorous (his insults and laughing files are enough to convince me of this), or at the VERY least, the straight man in a comedic duo, but it's kind of hard to come across.

I kind of view him in my mind as Frasier, as played by Kelsey Grammer. Thinks of himself as elegant and refined, but is really just an over dramatic man-child that likes expensive things and does NOT like sharing (unless someone is sharing with HIM.)

I would write the SHIT out of that, had I any time (work has been riding my ass lately, and Breaking Point has ensnared me yet again), but I thought I'd mention it, in case anyone else would want to take a crack at it.

Holy shit, maybe I should sleep more - I should like a rambling hobo. Welp, off to work. Grumble.
>> No. 11783
All my this.
>> No. 11784

Fuck dammit, posted too soon.
Anyway, I often feel that Scout gets the short end of the stick when it comes to creative backstories, personalities, and interactions.
No one seems to give a shit about Scouts in general when they're not fucking someone or each other.
>> No. 11794
With the greatest of respect, Cyan, I disagree. I followed you and Mael to Tumblr because of the writing you posted here on the 'Chan.

While I agree that the fluidity and versatility of Tumblr's format is a lovely thing, I must give the 'Chan the credit of being a great place to post and read fic.
>> No. 11797
I don't think it's possible to roleplay a canon character. Not just in TF2, but in anything.

Or maybe I'm bitter, because I rarely agree with others' headcanons and I hate when RP'ers get famous and people start treating their depiction of a character as fact.
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