Well, there goes Pyro being the Chimp.

Meet the Pyro in two days. Two days. I don't think it's Valve time anymore guys, and I guess there are going to be a ton of updates.

You ready?

I have waited for this day.

I have waited for this day for a long time.

Hurry the fuck up Wednesday, and get your ass over here!

captcha: you horspor. Sounds lulzy enough.

In the Poopy Joe Files, there is a reference to 18 Perfect Idiots.

Not only does that sound like a fantastic movie title, might that suggest that BLU and RED team are not clones of each other?

If you haven't found the Poopy Joe Files... well, just look for the banana.

Oh my god. The banana thing, THE BANANA THING!

Oh and the safety dance people? There extremely obscene name is "men without hats"

I love you so friggin much valve

I also find it slightly hilarious that TF2ers are visiting the Safety Dance youtube video in droves, boosting its popularity and mystifying its uploader and maybe the band too.

Whats this about the safety dance?

>>12369

The safety dance song is by a band called "men without hats" so tf2 fans are flocking to the safety dance youtube video and being weird tf2 fans.

Guys! Just saw this!
Vladimir Banana's twitter.
http://twitter.com/#!/vladimirbananas

Valve, you magnificent bastards, you've been planning this from 2009!!

http://www.teamfortress.com/pyromania/soldierhome/02.html I wish I could read all pages

>>12378
I hope the weeaboo Scoutfags don't miss the gangster references and start squealing about how this update proves he's such a "kawaii bishie".

>>12378

So, I'm probably wrong, but does this mean that the Soldier's living with the Spy now?

>>12382
Sounds to me more like he snuck in.

>>12381
wait what?

Fuck yeah Léon Sniper. New hat and glasses are a win.

>>Sniper is Jean Reno

Does that mean he went back in time with a whip to save his daughter with a samurai, and--

Watch, nobody else remembers Onimusha 3.

>>12389

Wait thay mad a 3rd one?

>>12390
It's on the PS2. The samurai goes to modern day, while a character mo-capped/voiced by Jean Reno goes to Feudal Japan to save his daughter. He uses an electro-whip as a weapon.

>>12392


well that's a good enough reason for me too get the ol ps2 out of storrage


also T minus 1 hour until the moment of truth!

And then Valve crashed due to a million people hitting refresh at the exact same time thanks to a big ol' countdown clock telling them when to refresh.

>>12396

Me being one of them, my bad! The excitement was just too much!

Just go on their youtube page. It's there.
And it's beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I

I need that Bubblethrower guys. I need it so bad. You have no idea.

I jizzed everywhere.

It was rainbows.

So... much... love.

Valve, why you no make featurettes more? Would love to see Halloween update clips, not just comics!

But do you believe in magic?

>>12401

And babies.

Lots and lots of babies.

I'm going to have to sit down somewhere and let this sink in.

My head's all spinny and my chest is tight and and I can't feel my face and I'm about to burst out into inexplicable tears of unidentifiable emotions.
Either I'm in love or I hyperventilated while I was watching that.

Can't study, laughing too hard.

I will probably get hated for this but Pyro's dream land for some reason reminds me a lot of the land of Ooo.

That was... a little disappointing. Funny and well done I guess but a little too predictable to be as good as Meet the Spy/Medic.

It's confirmed, my friend and I are going to try and be Dreamland Pyros for Ohayocon, complete with giant lollipops and whatnot.

I don't know if anyone else is oldfag enough to remember Tanner's Frank but that's the first thing I thought of when I realized this Pyro was a BLU and not a RED like the others.

>>12409
... That explains a lot, actually. I am now forever going to believe this is what Frank is seeing as he stalks around.

Short, but beautifully horrifying.

Also, the weapon models have already been made. If that Bubblethrower set isn't coming out in this update, then at least it won't take much to turn them into custom skins or release them in future updates.

Am I the only one just a little bit disappointed?

Oh god, this one.... this one really SCARED me! With the barn and the axe... That just really creeped me out! Well, this is probably the first time that such high expectations were met and exceeded!

>>12412
Nope, see: >>12407

I liked it, really fucking grim. That ending shot was creepy.

It also made Pyro seem even more insane than if they had gone with some sort of "lolsoedgy" video of him just murdering people. It also makes the character seem more sad because Pyro doesn't realise he/she/it's killing people.

Also I'm glad that they didn't reveal the identity, as it leaves it up to our interpretation. Because of the new info we got from the video I imagine Pyro as being a stereotypical cutesy 60s teenaged girl who just suffers from severe Schizophrenia.

The ballonicorn is for sale omg wut?

http://store.valvesoftware.com/product.php?i=ATF005T

Blog has been updated too. Apparently there are more weapons to be revealed, but they're holding off on it because they spoil "Meet the Pyro" for those who haven't watched it.

Suspense!

It was entertaining, I'll give it that, but when compared to Meet the Spy, Medic and a few of the earlier ones... its lacking in general and comes of as highly predictable. The big reveal being that Pyro is crazy.

Which wasn't really being asked. Just left me feeling underwhelmed.

Now THAT'S the Pyro we know and love.

It was a bit too genuinely horrifying for TF2.
But to be fair, Valve really didn't have a lot of options regarding what they could tell us without triggering a shitstorm, and people have been speculating about Meet the Pyro for so long that that there really wasn't much that they could do to surprise us. Stepping outside of their usual aesthetic was certainly one way to make things special.

Strangely, I was most bothered by Heavy saying that Pyro frightens him. Yeah, of course, Heavy. You're scared of the wee suit monster. While you're at it, why don't you pop down to the mall and shop your way to a cute pair of shoes? Maybe tell the other team what big strong men they are.

This fanfiction author is going to have entirely too much fun reconciling the brony dreamland Pyro with the grumbling, sarcastic Pyro we see in the game. PSYCHOLOGY EVERYWHERE

not sure if you realized Baby Spy has sock garters

>>12424

Yeah, how silly for Heavy to be scared of a mumbling monstrosity that incinerates all it finds like Satan's very own steamroller.

>>12420
Yeah that was pretty much my biggest issue with it. Too blatantly telegraphed and the joke ran out of steam (hurr) fairly early. The creepiest part to me was just the babification of the enemy classes because infantilization is a big nono for me.

I liked it. It was a bit underwhelming for me too, but we got what we were promised: MEET THE PYRO. Nobody said it was going to be a 5 minute long expansion of the TF2 universe. It was meet the pyro!

Everyone was expecting all sorts of things, but in the end, this Pyro was the Pyro they had in mind from long long before, and this short introduces him pretty well.

The expectations were REALLY high, and if I hadn't been itching to see this the moment it was vaguely announced several months ago... I probably would have loved it more than I do now.

I just loved the details in it. Like just the way Spy's mouth moved, or Sniper's glasses breaking. It's the little things that make the filmmaker in me squee with delight.

Now, hold yer ponies now. There is a chance that the... rainbow puking imagery is not what Pyro really sees. It's canon that the "Director" guy makes the "Meet the...", so perhaps he made the rainbowland up because no one really knows what goes on in Pyro's mind. Also, "Meet the..." is undoubtly used in-universe as pro-RED ads.
The rainbow-puke was created to imply that the scariest team member is as not as horrid as he seems.

Or maybe he (Pyro) trained himself to see things this way because he can't deal with the reality.

Because my brain cannot accept this as what it is without rationalizing it.

Personally, I had a dumbshit grin on my face for ten minutes straight while I raped the replay button liked it. I was a bit surprised, though, because it was a lot darker than any of the other "Meet the Team" videos that have been produced. (Though there's nothing wrong with darkness. In fact, I like darkness.) Tears of pride were shed, because the Pyro is my most-played class.

My only serious complaint was that it was so short.

On another note, I'm VERY excited about Source Filmmaker.

>>12430

Also don't forget, Spy was the one who was talking when the viewer gets a look into Pyro's mind. So maybe it's what SPY thinks Pyro thinks. Maybe like a sarcastic, off-hand comment on the Pyro. Kinda like when Spy says, "This is Scout, rainbows make me cry!"

>>12432

Ah, I didn't think about that... I wonder if Scout had a bad expereince involving Pyro, and spy made up a story to link them (and taunt Scout).

Or maybe it's the team's headcanon(if I may), so they can believe that instead of the "real" Pyro.

There needs to be a fic...

I lean to taking the same approach with Pyro as I do with Soldier, Medic, Demo, or whoever. Maybe they’re batshit and/or on drugs, but if they weren’t also reasonably sensible to their surroundings and the consequences of their actions, they wouldn’t be world-calibre, five million dollar mercenaries. Besides, if Pyro really thought that fire was a happy beam of rainbows and bubbles, why hasn’t he set himself or his team on fire?
So, the dream world is some sort of abstraction. I’m guessing that the way people supposedly feel about rainbows and babies is about how Pyro feels about fire and his enemies. He knows that fire is fire and enemies are enemies, but fire and enemies and fire on enemies makes him all warm and giggly inside.

But I like >>12342 as well. Spy would think that, wouldn’t he? Chronic and sustained cruelty indeed.

But hey! Doesn't Heavy always say "entire team is babies"? Does that mean he's acid tripping all the time too, just like Pyro??

Perhaps Pyro's reality isn't always butterflies and rainbows. Maybe it goes in and out.

Towards the end of the video we see Pyro cocking his head to the side (not unlike a dog) as if wondering why the Sniper he's giving happiness to is screaming. Maybe the cuts back to reality are also happening for Pyro?

>>12436
Holy jeesus, mindfuck central.

>>12436
Wow. Never really thought about it that way. Anyway, Meet the Pyro was really well done in my opinion; especially the scene at the very end where Pyro's happy crack-land is sequenced into the hellfire reality through the Soldier's chest. Funny AND terrifying!

>>12436


to tell you the truth that head tilt was , for me, the best part of the whole thing, like what >>12429 said its the little things that stand out for me. And Im not gonna lie I came got chills when i read what you said. So thanks for that.

>>12405

This, is me, right now.

>>12415

I was thinking theexact same thing. The whole fandom should get together and draw there own version of bubbly magic pyro without the mask and put it together like they did with meet the medic.

That short was brilliant. I love how sad it actually is, which makes it a hundred times funnier. Not only that, but I would say this is a good example of shock humor done successfully.

These...FEELS YOU GUYS. THESE FEELS!

So... is the Pyro insane? Is the oxygen tank laced with LSD? Is it the goggles?

MYSTERIES.

I think the Pyro has severe Schizophrenia. He has frequent and lucid hallucinations, which explains Candy Land. He has trouble identifying what's reality and what's his imagination, which is why I'm guessing he did the head-tilt, because he wanted to convince himself that Sniper burning to death was a fantasy.

>>12413
This. This this this this this. Oh, cripes. And that Sniper part. And the whole ending shot.

I'm gonna find one of the quilts my mom made me and hide under it now. I don't care if it's seventy-seven degrees Fahrenheit in my apartment.

Though, to be honest? The cartoon part weirded me out as well. Maybe it was just the balloony nature of everything.

>>12413
In complete agreement with the barn part.


I'm not the only one who found BABY!BLU team cute am I?

>>All Flamethrowers
Increased base damage by +10%.

Oh, Valve.

>Go to Multiplayer advance settings
>"See through eyes of pyro while spectating" tick box
>Oh my god yes
>All characters have high pitched voices
>Always laughing
>Blood is now balloons
>Fire is now sparkles
>Offical maps turn into this

This is probably the best update ever

>>12449
>Signs speak pyro

After watching MtP, I'm now convinced that Pyro isn't just simply doing their job.

Pyro's fucking sick in the head. I'm talking stalker serial killer crazy. No amount of pills or therapy is going to help. Hell, I don't even think a straitjacket and a padded cell will help Pyro.

I wouldn't be surprised if Pyro had a track record of mass murders or something and only joined up with RED and BLU to get away from the cops.

So much love for MtP right now. It compels me to write about Pyro now.

all I wonder is why Scout's arm is crooked so weird when he runs. Who runs like that?

Sharing this. Because I am completely immature.

Not related to the video, but the update. apparently Soldier is ambidextrous. He eats and writes with his left hand, and shoots with his right.
it's shown in his Soldier Needs A Home comic with him eating soup out of the skull, and If I remember correctly there was a picture of him holding a clipboard and pencil with the pencil in his left hand.

>>12452
The same guy who used to run with crazy legs.

So I'm not sure why I all of a sudden noticed the text on Pyro's mask, but now I think that all of that wasn't in his head, but was created by the technology in his mask.

>>12436
>>12444

My personal thoughts are that this happy-land Pyro sees is drug-induced, like he's laying on the ecstasy and/or LSD something really heavy.

And if I recall what I've read about ecstasy correctly (and keeping in mind that I've never been a user of the drug, so I don't have any actual experience against which to compare it), once the drug wears off, it's usually followed by a huge emotional crash, since the chemicals in your brain that induce good feelings have been all but exhausted by use of the drug. If I can confirm this when reading up on it again, it's going to make for some interesting... and really freaking depressing art.

(Feel free to call me out if I have my info wrong; it's what I deserve since I haven't read up on it lately.)

>>12459

I'd generally be inclined not to overthink things like this (considering the nature of the TF2 universe), but looking at it that way, there's kind of a Jacob's Ladder vibe to the Pyro story... And shades of good old-fashioned CIA brainwashing shenanigans (See the link below).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra

>>12458
And with the new items, I guess I'm not as bad at guessing as I thought I was. Woot.

I'm gonna go ahead and predict right now for Halloween it'll be the revenge of Poopy Joe, come back as a space monkey zombie or something.

Also, another possible theory about Pyroland. Anyone remember that Simpsons episode where Ned thought he saw Maude's floating head, but it turned out to be a gas leak? Perhaps Pyro's been exposed to the gas in his tank so long he's envisioned Pyroland.

>>12465
Or he's simply been exposed to Pyrovision for too long. Maybe the Pyrovision attaches itself to the wearer like a leech before slowly engulfing the wearer unless they remove it periodically. And that's where TF2 Pyros come from.

Also, I think I noticed a goof in Meet the Pyro. At the 2:09 mark, where the camera draws back to reveal the BLU Soldier with the hole in his chest, if you look to the left of him you'll see the nozzle of the Rainblower even though it should only exist in Pyroland.

>zombie space monkey

There is nothing better than fighting zombie monkeys from outer space. Although, I suppose Andross wasn't technically a zombie until Star Fox Adventures.

Fighting Poopy Joe would be great.

Jesus I just realized something.

Pyro is living in his own little self-insert fanfiction world with the BLU team. He brutally murders them and then he wants to take care of them and give him candy because they're his babies. And they all love him.

>>12461

...oh.

Oh no......

Maybe this was what the Announcer revealed in the censored part of the secret Poopy Joe files-- and maybe it's not just Pyro, but the whole team that's being manipulated.

(And now that I think of it, a Jacob's Ladder crossover would actually be wicked cool.)

I think they made it bright rainbows land because otherwise it just would've been dark without any sort of humor. This was really their only option without depressing the crap out of everyone.

Because, you know. Burning people to death is really really dark no matter what light you put it in. On that note, I thought it was beautiful.

I personally believe Pyro is TOTALLY unaware of reality. I seriously do. No flashbacks to reality, nothing. I don't really know WHY he sees things like that, and don't really care to come up with reasons why because I like a lot of things about pyro to remain unanswered in my brain.

A lot of people cite his adorbs head-tilt at the end as sort of confirmation that he's at least a little aware of his surroundings. Why? After taking a spin in Pyroland, we know that all screams are transformed into laughter for the wearer. I simply see the head-tilt as him sort of going, "Ha... colors..." and nothing more.

For some reason, this wasn't that dark for me. I know it has plenty of potential to be when you really think about it, but I see Pyro as what he is. Happy. He's HAPPY, and, weird or not, this way of living WORKS for him. And I'm okay with that. Rock on, little dude!

This video really shows how OP the pyro would be if TF2 had destructable environments.

SOON

>>12486

I'm getting one.

I'm so excited.

Thoroughly coincidental, I know, but I couldn't help but think of Whimsyshire (Diablo 3's "secret cow level") when I saw Meet the Pyro

>>12493
RockPaperShotgun made the same observation, and it actually made me think of something.

Diablo and TF2 are alike in the fact that people have dismissed them as "kiddy" for stupid reasons- for TF2 it's the art, and for Diablo it was for not being a brown srs mundane boring grimdark game. Maybe "Meet The Pyro" was the same kind of retaliation towards that mindset as Whimsyshire was.