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File 130194658839.png - (556.64KB , 400x580 , X-HeadCannonDPKB-EN-C-1E.png )
4414 No. 4414
Spy has a nearly infinite 'bucket list' and is determined to try every experience he can before he dies. He believes that the world is many, many things, but never boring- if boredom is your problem, you are doing life wrong.
Expand all images
>> No. 4419
Medic got his Prussian Pickelhaube from his dad.
Because his dad wasn´t german, but prussian which lead for medic for a childhoood were he got picked on by others by this.

I know i´m horrible cliché with all this.

Oh and i believe medic wears his gloves all of the time because of his war experiments. Once as he was on the front, the watersupplies went out and it was so horrible, that the doctors couldn´t even wash their hands anymore. Sometimes he would wake up with from nightmares were he finds himself in a crowd of patients and his hands are all coated in blood and mud and just wouldn´t get clean.

All love to history channel and WWI. Documentations.
>> No. 4423
Small head cannon, but I always transpose the Scout from Brooklyn to London/Essex estuary area...and that his accent in the game is a horrid attempt to 'do an American accent.'

The Heavy isn't 'Russian' proper, but is instead from one of the Soviet satellite states- thus can speak Russian fluently- but had a slightly easier time of defecting, thus getting over to the US...That and he's worked as a landscaper/gardener sometime in the past between the USSR and the Companies.
>> No. 4424
I always thought Medic covered his wrists to hide his prison camp tattoo. He'd rather Soldier call him a Nazi than pity him.
>> No. 4429
>>4423
>a horrid attempt to 'do an American accent.'

I talk like the scout in real life :C
>> No. 4433
>>4429

Sorry...*hides in the corner for a bit.* 'pose it would have been better phrase it as 'a slightly stereotypical attempt for a Brit to do an American accent.'

(And honestly, the London/Essex Estuary accent isn't all that brilliant to listen to. At least the Boston/Brooklyn accent makes some sort of sense- no rhyming slang, etc. The London/Essex accent, if strong enough, confuses the hell outta most people who aren't used to the substitutions and dropped letters it contains...that and it makes you sound like you've got a head cold.)

*bans you into a corner*
>> No. 4468
RED and BLU are clones, and both teams are convinced that the other guys are clones of them.

BLU Scout's a DC fan, and RED Scout's a Marvel fan.
>> No. 4475
Some hunters use dogs, but not Sniper. Sniper has a pet falcon, fittingly named Talon because Sniper's horrible at naming things. I think he had it in his high school years, but his parents forced him to part with Talon when they learned he was getting paid to murder people. But Talon knows Sniper and finds him again, unbeknownst to his folks.

Bromance, man.
>> No. 4478
  >>4475
Instantly reminded of this.
>> No. 4480
>>4468
That first part is my headcanon, too.

>>4478
Sniper + Mann Co./Ellis Cap = Dale Gribble
>> No. 4481
File 130214519758.jpg - (89.86KB , 1280x720 , -1.jpg )
4481
>>4480
oops that is exactly what I am doing with my Sniper.
>> No. 4482
Sniper is secretly a huge Jane Austen fan. His favorite of hers is Pride & Prejudice.

Also, once every month, his mother sends over a package containing:
x1 tin of 20 home-baked anzac biscuits
x2 bottles of eucalyptus oil (it stops cloth from going moldy)
x2 jars of Vegemite (he reuses the empty jars)
x1 small tin of assorted barley sugars and eucalypt candies.
>> No. 4483
Not so much of headcanon as wondering out loud, but...

What do you think would be Demoman's response to the US Civil Rights Movement?
Would he be interested? Would he have supported major leaders like Martin Luther King jr or Malcolm X?
Would he have been as affected by racism in the first place seeing he is of noble heritage?
>> No. 4485
>>4483
I wondered about that too. Was racism a huge issue in Scotland at the time? Also wondered why the spy called the sniper convict sometime.
>> No. 4487
>>4485
I always assumed Spy called Sniper a convict because Australia was established as a British penal colony and many white Australians are descendants of criminals.
>> No. 4494
>>4487
Yeah, "convict" is a common slur for white Australians.
>> No. 4495
Okay. I know we’re all waiting on pins and needles for what very well may be the premier of Meet the Medic, so I’d like to take this time to let you in on my heacanon for the backstory of… Soldier. (I put this in a previous Headcanon thread but I've fleshed it out a little since then. It's funny what you'll do at a laundromat with nothing else to entertain yourself.)

Yeah, yeah. I can’t help it. He’s my favorite. Still, I tend to think on our mercs as real people with real issues caught in fantastic and absurd situations. So, when canon says ‘Soldier’s crazy’, I wonder, ‘why?’ Here’s what my noggin came up with.

It is DISTINCT in my head that Soldier’s dad was a) an unsung war hero and b) abusive towards his son, both physically and verbally. Alcoholism was a contributing factor to this.

What I’m not clear on is where Solly’s mom is. I’m not sure if she a) died in childbirth b) died sometime after, either by illness or accident, or c) just left, which is probably most likely. All I do know is that she’s not in the picture.

The sad part is that Solly had his dad on such a pedestal that he blamed himself for the abuse he got, positive that if he were only stronger, tougher, better, his father would treat him better. He really could’ve used the help of a therapist specializing in victims of abuse, but even if such a thing existed at the time he would either have been too proud or just plain not allowed to see one. The whole mess, instead, wound up being very damaging to his psyche (which is why he was rejected from the military- couldn’t pass the psych evaluation), and when he went to war with no support of any kind, it just damaged him further.
>> No. 4496
Blue Soldier always stands on Red Demo's left blind side and does not approve whenever anyone takes advantage of that blind spot AT ALL.
(perhaps this is part of the reason why they fought with the police?)

For Demo, letting Soldier stand on his blind side is a huge act of trust on his part, and Soldier takes this duty and honor with the utmost respect.
>> No. 4497
>>4496

I. LOVE THIS.
>> No. 4505
The Red Heavy, after studying Russian Literature at Moscow State University, went on to study philosophy at the Sorbonne.

His favourite film is (or will be) Doctor Zhivago.
It is one of the only films that ever made him cry.
>> No. 4588
Hey, where did the 'Sniper is really hairy' thing come from? Because I don't think the model even has arm hair.
>> No. 4589
>>4588
He's Australian
>> No. 4597
>>4589
Well, that still doesn't really explain it, cause he doesn't have a mustache like most Australians, so he might not be as hairy as the others, especially since there's none on his arms.
>> No. 4611
I'm sure some other enthusiast has compiled a star chart for the TF2 mercs, but here's my own personal version. The hardest one to place for me was the Medic, and a case could be made for him as a Virgo or even a Scorpio, but horoscopes as a rule are more about a person's fundament than every aspect of their personality.

Scout - Aries (Fire, Cardinal)
Aggressive, expressive, headstrong. Relentlessly pursues goals and fights for 'just' causes, even when it jeopardizes everything around him. Guileless and optimistic, he wears his heart on his sleeve and sees himself as the center of the universe.

Engineer- Taurus (Earth, Fixed)
Patient, practical and hard-working. A hospitable person with a bucolic disposition, he moves carefully and remains firm in his convictions, possessing great strength of will. He loves the material, and aspires to create his own space in the world.

Spy- Gemini (Air, Mutable)
Inquisitive, witty, duplicitous by nature. A mercurial character who is gifted and cursed by his own flexibility, he lives as quickly as he thinks; his convictions seem unclear because even he is unsure of who he really is, and his vast imagination drives him ever forward in search of himself and his dreams.

Soldier- Cancer (Water, Cardinal)
Emotional, sentimental, stalwart. Moody by nature, his cardinal qualities give him the strength and stubbornness he needs to manage the moon's overarching influence in his sign. He has a possessive heart, and will become guarded and recalcitrant when challenged.

Pyro- Hudda (Mrrf rrf, rm?)
No idea whatsoever.

Demoman- Sagittarius (Fire, Mutable)
Fearless, brash, compassionate. A natural born thrill-seeker, his love for life is matched only by the greatness of his heart. Has the unfortunate tendancy to shoot first and apologize later, he is unfailingly honest, but easily distracted by the next big excitement.

Heavy- Capricorn (Earth, Cardinal)
Ambitious, persistent, melancholic. A natural hard worker, like Taurus, he is deliberate and indefatigable in everything he does. His positive qualities- his grit, humour and capacity as a leader- are hidden within the towering, brooding prison of his body.

Sniper- Aquarius (Air, Fixed) (lol jarate)
Independant, observant, empathic. A pioneer who aspires to see and understand all, desiring solitude while possessing the most earnest love for his fellow men. He is devoted to the cult of the Individual, as evidenced by his defiant but aloof nature.

Medic- Pisces (Water, Mutable)
Creative, introspective, adaptable. Seemingly dualistic like Gemini, he hides his inscrutable passions beneath a calm, cold surface; unlike Gemini, his heart possesses great fidelity, but his ability to see in two directions at once and his need to insinuate himself makes him seem wavering and inconsistent.
>> No. 4612
>>4611
I'm going to say that Pyro is both Leo and Scorpio since he's actually two midgets in a suit.
>> No. 4613
Demomen just drinks so much, because he get´s not really much love on TF2chan.

...

Naw, just kidding.
>> No. 4616
>>4611
Gonna have to argue. The Medic is a Virgo- cold, clinical, bitchy, detail-oriented. He can't stand things being out of place or dirty. He knows better than you, about everything.

Full disclosure: I am also a Virgo.
>> No. 4617
>>4616

While some of the matches I came up with were very easy, (Scout, Engi and Spy foremost) I considered the Medic's horoscope to be kind of iffy- as the Mutable Earth sign, Virgo is definitely a viable sign for the character- but went with Pisces because even though he is a tedious perfectionist, he also comes across as being very inscrutible and good at subterfuge, which a frank Virgo would avoid or just be incapable of. He also has a bit of a theatrical flair, and seems like a drama queen. A lot if it may depend on which "Medic" we're thinking of, as fans, as his personality isn't nearly as blatant as some of the other characters'.
>> No. 4618
I have something like four different headcanons for Medic running around in my skull, but my favorite is one I came up with after reading through Lovecraft's "Herbert West":

Medic had been in medical school during WW2, but was drafted. He also had a girlfriend/wife before the draft, but she was killed in the bombing of Stuttgart. Relieved of duty after the war, he was indescribably heartbroken and became obsessed with reanimation and bringing people back to life. Working at a private practice, he built the medigun and experimented on the recently dead with help from a friend in the mortician business. This came close to landing him in jail a few times, so progress was slow.

Later on (-years- down the road) struck a deal with RED and BLU, who would fund his reanimation project if he worked as a ‘mercenary’ for them in their skirmishes using the medigun he’d already created. He wasn’t planning on befriending any of the other mercs, but he works closely with Engineer, as Medic is fascinated by the respawn technology and how it could benefit his own projects.
>> No. 4619
>>4618
I love this idea! It's got the right mixture of morbid and tragic.
>> No. 4627
Pyro is the ghost of a giant mouse out for revenge.
http://exp777.cs.land.to/dexgen/?p=Pyro&l=en
Nothing will convince me otherwise.
>> No. 4633
In my horrible crackheadcanon where Engie and Scout are together they get a child(I´m still 100%for Helmetparty, but this is crackfic canon. And you don´t know what Bonk! has for sideeffects).
This child becomes a mechanic, has a southern accent and has slightly maniac but still polite behaviour. They call him Ellis.

Really in my headcanon, Valve just trow together Engie and Scout and you got Ellis. The best of both of them.
>> No. 4637
>>4633
I just can't see Scout in a relationship with any of the others except pyro if he/she is near his age. It just seems like everyone is too old/mature for him. I wish I could get L4D2 to play on my laptop so I can see the engi/scout mix of Ellis!
>> No. 4642
  this is why i belive Sniper is a semi-competent pilot. he could probably fly manage-to-not-crash if he had to

god damn i wish there was red/blu helicopter model out there somewhere
>> No. 4765
File 130300021390.jpg - (21.99KB , 200x256 , 200px-Ac_whiteaustralia.jpg )
4765
>>4642
I am very, very, very okay with this.

Also, I think I figured out the reason we haven't seen any Aborigines anywhere in TF2 yet- or any non-white Australians, either.
History lesson imminent: In real life history, the Australian gold rush started in around the 1850's, where an influx of immigrants from around the world came to cash in. This caused a lot of riots between them and the white settlers, and basically, the Australian Government (who were, y'know, all white) passed a policy that vastly restricted non-white immigration, a policy that lasted in some form or another all the way to 1973. This could be part of the reason why white Australians of that time period were so goddamn racist.

Now replace the discovery of gold in that context, with the discovery of australium. A transformative element which could, in time, turn any man or woman into a mass of violent, beer-drinking, moustachioed muscles. The whites wouldn't just limit the non-white immigrants; they'd actively challenge their right to be there, most likely deport them, they'd throw them onto the boats themselves if they had to. Assuming that australium affects people of all races, this could have led to an honest-to-goodness Civil War, with the white Australians eventually coming out on top, and the losers either killed or deported. This would go for the Aborigines as well, whether they were affected by Australium or were immune to it.

Pic related.
>> No. 4766
>>4765
>turn any man or woman into a mass of violent, beer-drinking, moustachioed muscles

No, that's just how white Australians in TF2 are portrayed. If that were the case, then the BLU Engineer and his grandfather wouldn't have been so short and lacking in bodyhair. Australium either makes you really, really smart or just gives you the ability to make really nice things.

The one possible Aborigine we've seen in TF2 was the old man from the Australian Christmas update ad thing, anyway, and he was scrawny.
>> No. 4769
File 130303183976.jpg - (177.84KB , 659x358 , BeforeAfter.jpg )
4769
>>4766

http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/NPC#Radigan_Conagher
>> No. 4772
>>4769
By that logic, shouldn't Helen's ancestor, who gave him the Australium that she had been hording, have grown a mustache?
>> No. 4775
>>4772
If Helen is exactly who she looks like she is, then I don't think she was actually out there herself. She probably had other people beneath her doing the dirty work. Her workers get muscles, moustaches, and brains, and Helen gets possession of the Australium. Or something like that.
>> No. 4776
>>4775
Great point!
>> No. 5689
File 130766400491.jpg - (101.60KB , 700x466 , fairy-penguins.jpg )
5689
Bumping for this little bit of silliness.

So a while back, I read that, in Sydney in 2009, a colony of Little Penguins (a.k.a. fairy penguins, Little Blue Penguins) was being mysteriously picked off, and snipers were actually deployed to the protect them.

I know the game takes place several decades before this, and Sydney's probably nowhere near where he lives, but, since then, I just can't get the image of Sniper having a soft spot for these little guys out of my head.
>> No. 5690
While BLU Engie went on one of his Australium induced rampages from the radiation emitting from the Golden Wrench, he got into a wrench duel with RED Engie.
Somehow, when both wrenched clanked together, the Golden Wrench turned RED Engie's wrench into Australium as well.
That is why RED Engies can have Golden Wrenches.
>> No. 5691
I like to think that the respawn works using teleportation to pick up (most) of the remaining bits of body and rebuild from there, like how if you cut up a starfish, every piece will become a new starfish (but don't test that, it's mean to starfish).

I'd like to hear someone's take on how the Dead Ringer works. Or things like the blutsauger or the other illogical items. I like explaining things.
>> No. 5693
>>5691

what if all the characters have a fluid in them, that had been injected into them when they first signed up? It would be a regenerative drug that is most likely lethal in really high amounts. This liquid, gonna refer to it as RGS from now on, is what powers the respawn machines, possibly working with austrailium.

the medics have a higher concentration of RGS as it probably also powers the medi gun as i assume that it runs off the same technology as the respawn system. This is also the reason why they heal over time.

the blutsauge, when used, forces the subject to expel a vapor form of RGS, which is attracted to the nearest high concentration of the liquid form of RGS, which would be the nearest medic.
>> No. 5695
>>5693
Wow...that's deep. I like that.
>> No. 5709
>>5693

Well this would explain the revenge kills of the Frontiers Justice. I ever asked myself where the energy came from. I mean the more you kill/hurt, the more revengekills do you have after your sentry is destroyed. So when a sentry kills someone, the sentry takes the vapour of a RSG and transforms it into energy to store it up. After the sentry is destroyed it sends the RGS via waves (because of the antenn on the Frontier) to the engineer where it gets transformed into energy again to get revengekills.

I don´t need to say i was never good in physic?
>> No. 5720
>>5709
Well, if the mini sentries also run on RGS, and they convert it into a energy source, any extra energy made from its kills gets sent to the engineer makes sense. I rather like this explanation
>> No. 5721
Ok another question. How is it that no one (excluding soldier) has gone crazy from repeatedly dying in horrible ways? PTSD or nightmares or something. How many times can you slowly burn to death before your brain cracks? I like the think the respawn erases the last minute or two of your memory or something.
>> No. 5727
>>5721
Actually, I'm of the belief that most if not all the mercs are insane or unstable in their own ways. They're all sadists of varying degrees, they all laugh maniacally, they all have strange idiosyncrasies (Snipes throwing piss, Heavy personifying Sasha), et cetera...
>> No. 5728
>>5727
I always thought that predated them becoming mercenaries, though. Like they were already unstable, so they'd have no guilt about killing.

I like the Poker Night idea that Heavy's convinced he's simply immortal.

Maybe they're all asylum inmates or something, so Helen figures if they die "for real", it's no big loss.
>> No. 5737
>>5728

If we go after Poker Night already. (Which i think is 100% canon... in my head) Than come we again to one of my favourite lines of the game. The one with Heavy Nightmares with DEATH DOCTORS EVERYWHERE! (One medic per day prompt?)
In my head Heavy has them regulary and needs to cuddle with Sasha (which is now mine *evil laugh*) afterwards. Sasha is something like his security blanket than. And because i´m in the mood i think he shares his sandviches with medic with the reason: Doctor is so tiny. Doctor needs to grow strong, so he needs food.
It´s natural that medic is slightly annoyed by this.
>> No. 5858
Medic is just as much of a professional as everyone else, so his lack of a medical degree or something similar isn't due to stupidity. Or he had one, but he went insane and it was revoked.

That, and the idea that he's not a random guy off the street with a labcoat, but a guy who knows what he's doing and does it deliberately is a lot scarier to me. And more practical. If they only have one doctor per team, they're not gonna trust the health of a guy they pay $5 million to some random guy.
>> No. 5902
File 130848072263.png - (673.73KB , 1280x720 , scout_sandvich.png )
5902
>>5896
I think you are wrong.
>> No. 5903
>>5902
Wow, that's some grade-A fail there, self. Lesson learned. No more coming up with stupid theories after days of no sleep.
>> No. 5904
>>5903
It happens. I was gonna suggest that maybe he ate the cheese first!
>> No. 6493
Soo after the Meet the Medic, i have a new headcanon. I believe that the whole Meet Video was made AT the beginning of his medical career in RED. Because of the Quickfix which should be the very first Medi Gun ever invented. Oh yes, medic was so ENTHUSIASTM about working again after he lost his medical license and all.
And it was great and he could do all the cool stuff he never came to do, because of something called the Hypocrite Oath (harhar), like inventing the Ãœber than. He was all his goofy crazy doctor self with his little lab and his doves.

And than reality came crushing upon him in from of MEDIC calls everywhere, getting killed by ALMOST building up a Ãœber and and and... which wore him down, so that he is the "slightly" angry doctor we all know and love on the battlefield.
>> No. 6513
>>6493
Related to Meet the Medic: Meet the Sandvich was done from the point of view of the Spy head in the fridge.
>> No. 6552
Oh and one crackheadcanon. Medic is a hobby magican. His shows contains attractions like: Now i will saw right through your bones, but look dear audience he is still alive! The doves are part of his show.
>> No. 6563
The Spy's head who was in Medic's fridge is the same Spy's head from Meet the Soldier that was on the fence. Soldier gave the head to Medic as a sort of gift for some odd as fuck Soldier reason. Like how your cat brings you dead birds and half eaten rodents. Soldier also says in Meet the Director "where are the other seven [heads]?" (I am assuming Soldier is smart enough to count to nine). Medic reanimated it as a side project because he's just that batshit insane.
>> No. 6653
Tonight on the Daily Show's segment on Republican crypto-racism, their Muppet McCain ranted: "Mexicans start fires! They are fire-starters! I saw one eat a plate of habanero peppers and fart blue flame! Took off like the Space Shuttle!"

New headcanon for the Pyro: he's Mexican, and draws his Hadouken powers from spicy food. The suit isn't to protect him from the fire, it's to protect the rest of the team from the aforementioned blue flame.
>> No. 6694
>>6552
His VA played a magician in Stroker and Hoop, so I was going to draw that anyways.

Maybe Medic's good-natured, but easily pissed off by failure. Like his whole team's being dumb when he's seen better of them, and he's disappointed. Give him some beer and time off with Archimedes and some SCIENCE and he bounces right back.
>> No. 6756
The unkillable dove on Well was Archimedes.

He's still alive somehow, if only due to how much the fandom really likes him.
>> No. 6761
Scout actually gets along pretty well with his teammates outside of battle, if the comics and "meet the" videos are anything to go by. I mean, if he gave everyone on the team else the crap he taunts the other side with, he'd probably be thrown out of RED or BLU by now.
>> No. 6778
I figure the medigun and dispensers are based on Australium and they only work on those who are in the respawn system (which also runs from australium). A copy of the people (and their clothing and weapons) are stored in the ore somehow, and that's why you don't respawn naked and how you can get healed by a medic and your clothing comes back (or there'd be a lot of spies running around with remnants of burnt clothing on them and nothing else). That also somehow prevents multiple copies of living people. The Australium knows, or something, if someone is really dead. So the Blu Spy in the fridge won't respawn yet. I can't explain how you can heal the enemy disguised spy though... I also like the idea that respawn works on a teleportation basis. You die, it teleports as much of your body as it can back, fixes it, maybe rebuilds it from the tiniest of pieces, and puts life and memory back in you.
>> No. 6823
Meet the Medic seems to imply that was the first time Medic did an ubercharge, so when you see the woman in the window when a dove was hurt that is presumably Mrs.Pauling I'm guessing that she was reporting the Medic's development of the Ubercharge to Helen the Announcer so she could have the BLU team replicate it?

(Sorry if this doesn't make any sense)
>> No. 6833
>>6823
Yeah so BLU medic could 'somehow' find out how to uber too
>> No. 7476
Wow, old thread. Here's the stuff I like to fall back on when writing my own stories:

- The teams have a weird fixation with hats. To them, showing off their latest headgear is like trading baseball cards.

- Sniper was a big game hunter before becoming a merc. Ol' Snaggletooth is one of - if not the - most prized trophies he owns.

- Medic is Jewish.

- Whereas BLU Scout hates RED Spy with a passion, RED Scout gets along pretty well with him.

- Jane Doe isn't really Soldier's name. His real name is much, much more embarrassing because it's so mundane.
>> No. 7479
>>7476
>Whereas BLU Scout hates RED Spy with a passion, RED Scout gets along pretty well with him.

By "him", do you mean with scout or with spy?
Because, while I can see the two scouts having a bit of a camaraderie/rivalry like teen boys often do, I can't really see anyone getting along with Spy, since by his nature he's untrustworthy
>> No. 7487
Spy is technically French, but his family moved around Europe a lot when he was a kid, explaining why his accent is kind of weird and why he speaks in gratuitous Spanish and Italian in addition to his native language and English. He was also a chubby, dorky kid, though he strongly denies it. (I based this off I dream that I might have mentioned in the TF2 dreams thread)

Medic does have a wife, but their marriage was more out of convenience than anything - he didn't want the Nazis finding out he was gay, she couldn't support herself financially, and they were already good friends. She knows he's been sleeping with Heavy and he knows she's sleeping with Demo, but they're both pretty cool with it. I see them amicably divorcing fairly soon after the war.

Medic is the only completely gay member of the team. Heavy is bisexual (fitting in with Poker Night canon, he likes his women redheaded), Spy's mostly straight with occasional bi-curious tendencies, and everyone else is straight.

My headcanon for Pyro changes a lot, and I admit some of my theories have come from the rare moments I read the Wild Mass Guessing page for TF2 on TV Tropes (nothing against WMG, I just don't read it much). Ever since I started playing TF2, I've pictured the firebug as a Spy-killing robot made by Engie, Abe Lincoln with a portable life extender machine, a serial arsonist who just broke out of prison, British, Minnesotan, a failed actor/actress who just snapped one day, Medic's wife, and, most frequently, an alien (specifically, one responsible for what really happened at Roswell). I've also tended to lean more towards the "Pyro is female" camp these days, and I sometimes ship her with Engie. Yes, even on "Pyro is an alien" days.
>> No. 7502
Headcanon for not maincharacters in TF2

Snipers Dad and Mom have a small farm in the outback of Australien where they farm sheeperpigs.

But these aren´t normal sheeperpigs. They are almost like boars. They are big and can send every dingo or wild dog who tries to eat a sheep to hell.

Yes, in my crackheadcanon Sniper Dad is Arthur Hogget.

Sniper is a bit embarrassed, but proud on the subject what his parents farm. Because to normal people who never heard of sheeperppigs it will sound strange if he just says they farm pigs. But tell it a sheeper and they will be impressed, because the sheeperpig is there common and well know there.

Even Demo and Engineer knew naturally of sheeperpigs and talk with Sniper about sheeps.

They even jokingly consider to do a shearcontest, if they would find a herd of sheeps.
>> No. 7520
Pyro is a sentient bag of potatoes.
GLaDoS becomes a sentient potato. Therefore GLaDoS = Pyro.
>> No. 7521
File 13108865407.jpg - (425.37KB , 1600x1200 , TF2__Reaction_by_lkhrizl.jpg )
7521
>>7520
......
>> No. 7524
>>7520
...
Engineer builds a potato clock and wonders if he could give it proper sentience. So, he makes the Pyro out of potato clock based technology. Many years later, there is a young woman by the name of Caroline born into the Conagher blooline.

She is then put in charge of the facility, and is the one to give the scientists' daughters the idea of making potato clock science projects, which in turn gives the I.D.S. his idea for POTaDOS.

Or, one of the potato clocks from Pyro was saved and transferred into GLaDOS as a sort of "tradition" or something. Oror, it was the base of GLaDOS' mainframe.
>> No. 7589
From a friend of mine:
"I got a theory about the pyro. You gotta see all the facts first.
1) very effeminate
2) garbled talking
3) possibly British (due to KF)
4) a lovable sociopath
5) doesn't seem to age as tf2 takes in 60's and killing floor later on.
...I think its Mr Bean. Dude doesn't really age, I can hardly understand him anyway. I think I got a good argument."
>> No. 7591
>>7589
This is my new favourite Pyro backstory.
>> No. 7592
>>7589
Cannot unsee. EVER.
>> No. 7600
>>7589
I think I love your friend.
>> No. 7613
File 131116235359.png - (8.39KB , 630x592 , 1310217805472.png )
7613
>>7589
>> No. 7615
  This is what the Spy looks like under the Balaclava. Let's face it, Rollin Hand has the same disguise skill, if a much less tech-y version. He even disguises himself as the people he does away with. And he has the blue eyes.

Also, I know it's due to the character models, but, blue eyes are very common in TF2's world. Whereas here, you tend to see far more people with brown eyes than blue, in TF2, blue eyes are genetically dominant. Meeting someone with Brown eyes is damned rare, unless, like the Demoman, they are black, to the point where if you are white and have brown eyes, it gets you attention.
>> No. 7624
My Pyro headcanon is perhaps a bit obvious and/or cliche'... Pyro's female. The baggy suit is both to hide her figure and because close-to-the-skin rubbery attire is a bad thing around open flames. The gasmask serves double-duty as voice distorter and as air-filter to keep from inhaling any fumes from unburnt fuel should the flamethrower leak.

Why does she do it? Well, for reasons I've not yet worked out how, she caught wind of the RED vs BLU thing, and petitioned the Administrator to allow her to join to prove she could be just as good as the men, as a kind of "women's rights" thingy - whether the disguise was her idea or the Admin's, I dunno yet.

She may or may not actually be Scout's mother.
>> No. 7629
>>7615

Sort of an odd way of putting it, and an odd thing to have as headcanon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_color#Distribution

Blue eyes are pretty darn common in the areas of the world most of the Team would be from, and they used to be much more common in the United States than they are now. It's not so much "a bizarre world where the majority of people have blue eyes" as "the Team members happen to be from places and a time period where blue happens to be common (also Valve is lazy)".
>> No. 7633
>>7629

Thing is. it doesn't appear to be just the team, so that's why the headcanon for me. Interesting wiki link, though. I know someone whose sister had heterochromic eyes, to the point that her eyecolor as listed on her license was "bluebrown" because they were blue with large brown spots.
>> No. 7658
My headcanon has a female Pyro as well. As long as she keeps her gender a secret, her being there never needs to be an issue.

I see her as being insane, for starters. Not that she's never lucid, just that her love of fire is beyond the pale by any standards you choose to apply. My headcanon Pyro has burn scars up her left side from an early foray into her future profession-- I find it hard to imagine a Pyro who hasn't had a less-than-successful run-in with fire.

I also imagine Pyro as being a sci-fi geek (maybe 'cause of the brain slug hat?). And I think she's got a bit of a crush on Engie. Because Engie is crushworthy, of course, but also because in actual gameplay it works well to have a Pyro spychecking around your buildings, and I kind of like it when I can 'ship things based on gameplay...
>> No. 7682
What do you guys think the rest of the world knows about the mercenaries little wars? Do they know about the fights? Do they know about the tech they use like mediguns and respawn?

Also, I bet there's more than 1 team each by this point. I mean, Blu invades a place right? Red is there. So why not invade a place where Red's team isn't?
>> No. 7696
>>7682
Because the Administrator seems to want a stalemate for however long she likes it.
>> No. 7697
>>7682
If there was only one team, that would be very sad. After all, RED and BLU each control half of the world. Nine people for the fate of one hemisphere.

Personally, I feel Pyro is either Latino or from South Asia. No racism, it just feels like s/he should be from those places.
>> No. 7717
>>7658
Agree on the scars and the engie-shipping. Dunno about the insanity, though... While having Pyro have a love of fire is a given, making them psychotically obsessed with it seems a bit counterproductive to teamwork - hard to work with someone if you live in fear of them immolating you for laughs. To me, it just seems there oughta be someone other than Spy (the dirty selfserving bastard) who has something resembling a voice of reason on the team. The fact said voice is unintelligible is just amusing irony.
>> No. 7739
>>7717

The idea of a garbled voice of reason makes me grin.

I don't see her as being psychotically obsessed, per se-- more like a compulsion you can either fight against or give into. Having a job that involves using fire in a specific ways would make her less likely to feel the need to burn things aimlessly, and unlike the rampant crazies of Soldier, Pyro is at least aware that the fire compulsion thing is neither normal nor ideal.

Then I give myself a hard look and say 'that's altogether too reasonable and realistic a look at compulsive disorders for this universe, young lady', and feel awkward.

But yeah, I can see Pyro as being anywhere on the sanity scale, my personal headcanon just grew to be at an in-between place. Not sane, loves fire, but not cartoonishly cavalier about setting the couch alight or anything...
>> No. 7741
>>7739
logical pyro makes me think of this:
http://xanykaos.devian-tart.com/art/TF2-Gunslinger-171739718?q=boost%3Apopular%20by%3Axanykaos%20tf2&qo=0
>> No. 7783
Copy-pasta from last time...

Religion headcanon:
Scout - (lapsed) Roman Catholic
Solder - Methodist
Pyro - Pastafarianist (i.e. worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster)
Engineer - Southern Baptist
Demoman - Presbyterian
Heavy - Russian Orthodox
Medic - (culturally, non-practicing) Jewish
Sniper - Universalist (though not officially, he just believes a mish-mash of stuff, including the existence of Dream Time)
Spy - Nihilist

Underwear headcanon:
Scout - jock strap
Soldier - commando (because he was discovered to be wearing superhero underwear and the team never let him live that down)
Pyro - potatoes
Engineer - tighty-whiteys
Heavy - girdle
Demoman - kilt
Medic - boxers
Sniper - briefs (and he tucks left when dressing)
Spy - silk thong

Pyro's identity headcanon:
Sentient hiveminded potatoes.
>> No. 7806
File 131145249937.jpg - (36.69KB , 505x384 , onlyPyroknows.jpg )
7806
>>7783

Slight adjustment to this.
>> No. 7812
>>7806
I freaking bit my lip trying not to laugh out loud and wake my parents at that.
>> No. 7813
File 131148698483.jpg - (39.20KB , 480x480 , fae0ebfc3b4dba3dacd07a910833b4dff74c3a38_m.jpg )
7813
>>7783

Your underwear headcanon just reminded me of something I thought of the other day. I wouldn't call it headcanon... more of a crack theory if there were female classes, but I picture a female spy using a pair of panties as an equivalent of a balaclava.
>> No. 7814
>>7813
Unused, I hope. This is not Japan.
>> No. 7815
>>7783
Im beginning to believe more and more with each passing day that Pyro is potatos.

Meet the Pyro is just going to be the Administrator buying a sack of potatos, dumping it in the Pyro suit, and tossing in a bar or two of Australium.
>> No. 7818
Pyro, to me, is definitely a human being. You can kill it, it screams, and it bleeds.
>> No. 7823
Oh, yeah, something that I've decided as an excuse for fanfiction fodder:

There are Civilians working on base keeping the place clean, restocking the lockers/ammo/health packs, restoring the maps to their original configurations at the end of the round, etc. We don't see them in-game because, as Civilians, the mercs consider them complete non-entities and therefore they're "invisible".
>> No. 7845
File 131157705096.jpg - (15.81KB , 359x258 , ngbbs4a84e87eadc62.jpg )
7845
my headcanon?
one of them: spy resembles niko bellic from GTA IV under his balaclava.
>> No. 7847
>>7845
side-by-side, I can definitely see the resemblance.
>> No. 7849
>>7818
So do animals. Im sure a potato would scream, too, if it hat a mouth. They bleed... potato... juice... blood..
>> No. 7850
The Pyro is an androgynous male with horrible burn scars on the face and body, but he likes to keep his teammates guessing by wearing both feminine and masculine hats as well as keeping his mother's purse in the locker. While childish, he'll become serious if the situation calls for it. Often times he'll try to find new and practical uses for his weapons, which was how he discovered his flamethrower's airblast, the sapper-destroying capabilities of the Homewrecker, and the super-secret method he uses to create his Hadouken fireball when taunting.

And while some maps can be cleaned up and re-used (per se), some are so fairly destroyed that the teams have to go to another map before they can be battled on again, such as in most Payload and Payload Race maps.
>> No. 7859
>>7849
Maybe an animal, but after shooting down the Guard Dog idea, I don't think Valve likes the idea of killing animals in combat. He's not a potato, though.

What if Pyro's completely normal-looking with no tragic backstory? Just to troll us?
>> No. 7860
>>7859
We will probably never know. Valve stated that Meet the Pyro will be from his/hers/its pov, so unless we'll get a shot of him in the mirror there's a chance that we'll never find out how Pyro looks like.
>> No. 7866
File 131163552479.gif - (17.00KB , 200x220 , 129790883983.gif )
7866
>>7845

mind is full of fuck.
>> No. 7867
File 131164142197.jpg - (18.77KB , 359x258 , spahs.jpg )
7867
>>7845
been working on my photo editing skills. I could have done better but still. They could be brothers!
>> No. 7902
Pyro is an alien, the suit is his flesh.
>> No. 7926
The bases have a training warehouse/danger room and the classes have weapons that shoot paint bullets and balloons instead of real ammo.
Medic has a backpack that sprays water.
>> No. 7977
>>7859
Depends on what you consider tragic.

Also, the Sniper -if left in a position where he has to fight with no weapons AT ALL- will be all too ready to tackle, wrestle, and even BITE someone to win and/or disable the opponent. His bite marks look almost like a wild animal's. (For this I blame the "little details" thread pointing out how bad his teeth are.)

The Scout joined RED/BLU in order to get away from law enforcement. He and his brothers had trouble with the police, but Scout was always one of the few to consistently outrun them; for this he gains the jealousy of his brothers. Eventually, his mom sends him off to boot camp because his grades are abysmal and he just won't listen to reason anymore, but he runs from there, too. Through some amount of shenanigans he enlists for one of the corporations and becomes what he is now. Before they release him on the battlefield they take a blood sample of his; half of it goes into cloning a Scout for the opposite team, and the other half registers his DNA into the respawn system.
>> No. 8029
I think Pyro is just a rather normal guy under the suit. Just... real small (that's why my headcanon pyro is Manny Pacquiao). But the reason for the confusion is that the Team decided to play with the Director's head about Pyro... each one giving him a different story with a straight face and insisting it was real and the truth... That's where all the stories about what the Pyro *really* is come from. And the Pyro thought this was hilarious and played along... and put the flowered purse in his locker. The Pyro didn't mind... he has a sense of humor about the whole thing. And he ate by himself in his own room the whole time the director was there, just to screw with the director's head that much more. (The "joke" being started by the Sniper, who had the first taste of the director in his camper and decided to get Pyro to play the joke...)
>> No. 8158
A weird headcanon of mine is that Sniper's mother's side of the family is mostly Jewish, and his name is Lawrence Mundy. Mostly because Lawrence is such a nerdy name no offense to those who are Lawrence's and it sounds well with the last name of "Mundy". And perhaps it was hinted with the Sniper hat "Lawrence of Arabia", but that could very well be a reference to a Full Metal Jacket scene("Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?!"). Also, Sniper isn't the typical Australium-influenced Aussie because of how much time he spent alone and away from civilization and hunting in the Australian outback. He was never exposed to much Australium because he was forever alonean independent rouge huntsman and away from people. He knows how to cook (or at least cook something that won't kill you) from spending so much time in solitude, and he is relatively neat in keeping his camper uncluttered and maneuverable in, and cleaning his rifles and weapons. He calls his parents at least once a month and whenever he gets the chance, and his father dislikes and looks down upon every decision he makes in life. EVERY decision, from "Why didn't you marry that girl you met in high school?" to "Why aren't you a doctor or a layer instead of a bloody crazed gunman?!"
Oh, and Sniper is 6'1" and around 41 years old, based on his appearance, attitude, and the Detail Appreciation thread.

Demoman works in housecleaning as a side job, and since his mother is blind he knows how to clean, cook, and is practically a "housewife" when at home. He usually only drinks when he's bored or with friends and social events, but he'll drink himself to unconsciousness when he's depressed or having another breakdown about his missing eye. He is a sensitive man about his handicap, and he drinks as a substitute to crying; though he can and does cry, he only has one tear duct, and human beings NEED to cry. It's a fact that crying is a needed part of mourning or sadness, because it's a psychological thing to get the emotions out.(A friend of mine's grandmother was in a car accident, and she nearly lost an eye but lost a tear duct due to hemorrhaging. Later when her husband died she went into a downward spiral of depression drinking because she couldn't cry out her emotions and had to drown them instead in liquor.)<- Demoman does the same thing from the memory of losing his eye and adoptive parents when he was 6, but the Soldier is the loyalest of friends to him, and their relationship is equivalent to BROS B4 HOES 4 LYFE. And Tavish is 6'0" +5 centimeters, and is probably around late 30's to early 40's.
(And it's enemy Demoman and enemy Soldier that are buddies, like BLU Demo & RED Soldier friends and RED Demo & BLU Soldier friends, RED Spy/BLU Scout's Mom and BLU Spy/RED Scout's Mom. But other than that THERE ARE NO OTHER CROSS-TEAM PAIRINGS OF ANY KIND.)

Scout is a loudmouthed, egotistical little shit at times, and he's an easy enough to read kind of person. He used to get into countless fights as a kid and teenager, and in a nutshell was your average smart-mouthed bratty Bostonian punk. Once you get passed his naivety and immaturity, though, he can be a pretty good friend. Talks a mile a minute and can go on forever, though, so be ready and try to keep up. Acts like an attention whore due to having 7 other older brothers to share one Mom with, and He always wanted a puppy when he was a kid but his Mom either couldn't afford one or didn't have the time. Absolutely hates the enemy Spy being involved with his Ma, and whenever the Frenchman tries to interact with him outside of work in any way it is usually responded to with a "Fuck off, Frenchie!" or "Stop actin' like you're my dad, asshole!" and Scout storming off. Or if his mother is present he'll ignore the Spy and get as far away as he can, stomp out of the house and slam the door. REALLY strained relationship between an older son and a stepfather, and just as hard for his poor Ma too. Scout's mother used to be a streetwalker to pay the bills, and is why she had so many sons without fathers. Her life changed for the best when she met the opposing team's Spy, and unbelievably the rouge bachelor fell in love with her as well. At first he thought she would just be another fantastic yet memorable fling, but Cupid got the better of both of them and they eventually want to be married. Only dangerous problem with that is the hellish contract with the Administrator(in the "Meet the Director" comic, if she wanted to the Witch could have BLU Scouts mom killed to subdue BOTH the RED Spy and BLU scout, and vice-versa with teams).

(Sweet loving Christ in a handbasket, it's nearly 2 in the morning where I am. I'll need to save this retardedly long character synopsis that probably doesn't quite fit in the Headcanon thread and see if anyone cares to continue this discussion with me before continuing it. I'm FAR from done with this post, but I'm so tired right now spellcheck is my best friend. Oh by the way I'm a newfag to -chans, but I think I've got this thing down. I might not post any art here due to lack of TF2 fanshit, but I am an artist on Sparkledog Central if anyone cares to know. Seems like a pretty nice community here in Discussion at least, so might as well get comfortable and un-Anonymous.)
>> No. 8159
Am I the only one who thinks that the characters really can't be that old? They have to be able to run all the time, take damage, fire weapons...I just don't picture them being very old.

Scout, 19-22. (obvious)

Pyro, ??-?? (obvious)

Demoman, 30-33 (Young enough to be able to afford to drink his liver away, but old enough to be an accomplished Demoman. Plus, his mother is still alive, albeit old)

Spy, 32-34 (Young enough, but still old enough for the RED one to bang Scout's mother)

Sniper, 33-35 (Rarely shaves and wears sunglasses; gives him an appearance of looking much older than he probably is)

Heavy, 32-34 (Old enough, but still fit enough to CARRY A MINIGUN)

Medic, 34-36 (He had a medical degree at one point, and he honestly doesn't even look as old as people make him out to be)

Soldier, 37-40 (Nazi spree from around 1945-49, game takes place late 60s/early 70s)

Engineer, 38-40 (He has to be the oldest, he has eleven Ph.Ds for goodness' sake!)



It's just the fact that they can't be that old and still have the stamina, speed, and strength it takes to withstand everyday battles.
>> No. 8164
Hmm, for me it'd be like this:

Scout: 16 years. Lies about his age to get the job. He acts too much like a teen, not really like the college-age young adult.

Pyro: 22 years. In my headcanon, she's a budding mercenary, so she's still a bit young.

Demoman: I agree with him being around 30-33 years old. Plus his mum mentions that no Demoman would have both his eyes by the time he hits 30. Meaning that he should've been around 30 at the WAR! update.

Sniper: 34-36. He seems to be a very experienced killer, so he's definitely a veteran mercenary in my opinion. However, the fact that he's still a bit tied to his parents means that he can't be all too old. I think that he looks weathered more than old due to him being outdoors all the time.

Spy: 35. Headcanon has him growing up around WW2, leading to him and Medic having a very strained relationship.

Heavy: I'm a bit unsure about the Heavy. He looks older, that's true, but being too old would make it impossible for him to carry around that heavy minigun. I'd place him at 35 or 36.

Engineer: 37. I don't think he looks older than some of the characters, like Soldier and Medic.

Soldier: 43. Definitely one of the older guys, if he was participating in WW2. I can imagine him as the under-age kid who kept trying to sneak into the army. He'd be around 16 around the time Pearl Harbor happened, and 18 around the 1943s, when things started looking up for the Allies.

Medic: 44. Making him 50 would be a bit tough on a guy who spends his time running around healing people with a giant pack on his back.

Some family headcanon as well:

Scout: Everyone knows him and his seven older brothers. I'm still inclined to have the Spy as his father though, but that's just a fancy of mine. I love family angst. His mum works as a waitress at the malt shop (Scooby Doo, anyone?), while his brothers are a mixed bunch of working adults and minor thugs, with an exception of the second youngest, who's currently studying on scholarship at a college.

Pyro: Pyro in my headcanon is Italian, and being Italian regards family as very important. She has a fostermom who's in a coma, and has lost her real father, mother and younger brother in a fire.

Demoman: His mum. For some reason, I imagine him having a lot of cousins as well. I can imagine the whole bunch of them singing songs and drinking Scrumpy together.

Sniper: His parents. He also has a six year old son who lives with his parents, but the kid's presence is kept a secret for fear of assassins. Part of the reason Sniper took the job was because he wants to raise enough money to retire and migrate to some other country so that his son can have a better life.

Spy: As mentioned above, I like the idea of Spy being Scout's father. Other than that I'd imagine Spy as an orphan who caught the eye of a Master Spy during WW2. The Master Spy is like his teacher/guardian, but there is no love to be lost between the two.

Heavy: You don't want to mess with Heavy's mum! He's the second child out of four, with the oldest one dead already. He took the job because he was promised that his family would be granted citizenship in America and rescued from Soviet Russia.

Engie: Married, with a daughter. Also comes from a big family, with his father still alive while his mother has passed on. I imagine him as the middle child.

Soldier: A military brat. Has a father who's obsessed with being the "Perfect Patriot", and a mother who suffered from post-natal depression. Also has three older brothers who were all in the army: one in the marines, one in the navy, and the last one in the air force.

Medic: Oldest child of the family. Both his parents are dead and he has two younger sisters. He is estranged from his wife and his twin sons, and probably doesn't care. In fact, he nearly tried to experiment on his twin sons once. Not exactly the best way to bond with your kids.
>> No. 8167
>>8159
I agree with you about the ages thing. The age range I can see believable with most of them is between 30's to late 40's, with the exception of Scout and maybe Pyro. I see Miss Pauling being maybe late 20's, but for whatever reason I can't pin down an age for the Administrator.
She's an old witch, that's for sure.

An odd little headcanon of mine is that Pyro's 26, female, of Hispanic/Latino heritage but not that stereotypical, NOT a tiny girl but not considered that "overweight"(You've seen how Pyro wields and swings them meelee weapons, there's no WAY she'd have tiny little stick arms and a tiny little middle.), and lived in the foster system most of her life due to being orphaned when she was 12. (The Hispanic female part came to me while listening to a comedy skit by Pablo Francisco, "Mexican Women". Just look it up some time, he's hilarious.And stereotype-wise, Latino chicks can get mean as fuck in a fight.)

I also like the headcanon of Spy being orphaned when he was young. Like I have the stupid scene of his parents getting killed by a thug like in the Batman series, only unlike Batman Spy became tied into some French mafia and grew up with the wrong crowd and just was bread into being a backstabbing Spy.
I could write an entire storyline of my Spy headcanon backstory, but I'm trying to keep this short and not write another essay. Dumb habit I have when it comes to writing about psychological shit and backstories.
>> No. 8168
The great old age debate: Old people can be surprisingly spry. And with plenty of ways of near-instant healing, that means even a "geezer" can run around without too many problems (I mean, the Medigun alone effectively dispenses super-steroids). Besides, we're playing the game version, so of course it's going to be an idealized world. Other than the Sniper, nobody is shown to be peeing while they battle, but I'll bet every corner of every base reeks something awful.

Scout--There are plenty of college age young adults who still act like teens; my little brother is one. And Scoot, being the youngest of 8 brothers means he's very likely to act much more immature.

Soldier--Was born overseas (probably China or Japan, given his obsession with Sun Tzu and the Shogun pack stuff) on an army base (on "American soil", making him a citizen by technicality) and then his parents shipped him over to live with grampa and grandma once impending war made things too dicey. And I see Soldier having a Lieutenant Dan-style backstory: his family lost a man in every American war, so Soldier has a HUGE chip on his shoulder about that. And because I'm mean, I like to think that everyone except Solly has had actual military experience.

Pyro--The combination of radiation, ghost powers, and Australium mutated the potatoes in Harvest. They took over a discarded rubber suit used by some random after-battle cleanup janitor. Pyro doesn't act particularly male or female because how the hell would potatoes know what dicks or tits are supposed to be like? And it can receive radio waves from the future, which is why a lot of taunts are from stuff that shouldn't exist in 1968.

Demoman: I agree, he's probably past 30, because his mom complains about him not having lost both his eyes. And there's a guess over at TV tropes that he actually can see out his "blind" eye, but he wears the eyepath to placate mom; I like that guess enough to make that my own headcanon.

Heavy: Anywhere from 30-40. His build is very reminiscent of an ex-boxer's. In Meet the Director, it's implied that RED Hoovy had family; my own headcanon was that he was raised by his Russian Orthodox grandmother, joined the army to help bring in some money, and then defected after she passed away because he had grown somewhat disillusioned by communism by then. (Heavy's apolitical in general, though. He doesn't care who's in office as long as he gets fed.)

Engineer--Late 30 at best. 11 PhDs, even in related fields, takes a long time unless some of those are from correspondence schools and thus the degrees are not worth the paper they're printed on. He's also got male pattern balding, and while some people start losing hair as young as their twenties, the progression that Engie's hairline suggests puts him in that late 30s to mid 40s range. And it seems highly unlikely for Engie, who's already very deep in the nerd spectrum, to have met a girl, married her, AND started a family in the middle of all that science-ing. "Irene", from his "Goodnight, Irene" quote? His shotgun. He calls his sentry "Morgan" (yes, you may groan).

Medic--A Medic who was old enough to serve in WWII would be at least 41. He's also the only class with graying hair. Might be the stress, but Medic's definitely no spring chicken. (Then again, mad scientist aspirations aside, the Medic's voice commands suggest to me someone who's an "old soul" type, who was already acting like a cranky geezer even as a chubby-cheeked kid.)

Sniper--Given what the TF2 world says about Australia, his parents are probably disappointed that he's a gunman rather than a punch-a-kangaroo-to-death-with-your-bare-hands sort of "Real Ozzie". He also seems to me to be an only child who was very pampered by his mom growing up. She still loves him because she's his baby and all, but she wants grandkids, dammit.

Spy--Again, because I'm mean, sometimes I like to amuse myself to imagining that the Spy's not only not from France, but he's never even left the States and learned all of his accent mimicking by watching movies. And thanks to the old Atia!Spy, even before the Uber update I was convinced that Spy was a made man--the syndicate he belonged to was very small time, though.
>> No. 8169
I have recently developed a headcannon for spy where he isn't french at all. He is actually a french weeaboo.He loves to put up a suave composure and believes being french will give him that suaveness. the guy can't even speak french. He just repeats phrases and things he's has learned over the years. This is why his accent fluctuates with some of his words.


sometimes, i think he doesn't know what some of the phrases mean.
>> No. 8170
i love looking at other people's headcanons because they give me ideas for mine. i try to stay as close to the originally intended canon as possible, and i try to make everything believable.

Scout- not very academically smart, but a different kind of smart. he has a rapidfire wit, and is actually pretty street-savvy. unfortunately, he says things that just beg for a beating. He tries to give off the cocky, I-know-what-i’m-doing vibe because he’s self-conscious, but he’s actually a huge mama’s boy and can be nice if you know how to talk to him.

Pyro- I have a weird one. It’s a she, but she might as well be male. She’s loud, rowdy, and muscular—her flamethrower is her height, and she needs to be strong if she’s gonna run around setting people on fire with it. Jewish, funny, grew up in Queens (and has an accent to show for it), and her father was also a Pyro (contacts with BLU/RED end after 10 years’ service). Has a huge, healed burn scar on her abdomen from playing with fire as a child. Plays and is passionate about the electric guitar (hence the taunt), and is 29/30 years old.

Demoman- I like the idea that he can see out of his eye (Ah, the never-ending “CAN’T TEH MEDIGUNZ HEALZ HIS EYE??// argument) but just keeps the eyepatch on to please his mother into thinking he’s halfway to blindness. Doesn’t actually drink that much when he’s not in battle or in a bar. PLAYS THE BAGPIPES.

Heavy- Grew up in Soviet Russia, taken to siberian gulag, and escaped with his mother and sisters. “Sasha” and “Natascha” are probably named after his sisters, or is Sasha is male, his parents. Is actually highly intelligent (just because his English is poor doesn’t mean he’s dim-witted) and enjoys literature and reading. He and Medic are close bros.

Engineer- TOTAL ENGINERD. Grew up in Bee cave, Texas, and was picked on and bullied heavily throughout his life for said nerdiness and short stature. At first he worked in the oil rigs, but wasn’t happy with his work. So, he decided to be a firearm engineer, building guns and sentries. He builds walls of guns to subconsciously protect himself from torment, both physical and verbal. Skilled in acoustic guitar.

Medic- Secretly Jewish, was drafted into being a Nazi Doctor by Hitler during WWII, defected because he did not like to be forced to perform extremely cruel experiments that caused deaths. Experimenting with mercenaries did no harm because of respawn, and he’s good bros with Heavy. Plays the violin; was forced to when younger and it grew on him, hence the taunt. Is the only mercenary who knows Pyro’s gender, (opened her chest to add the Uberheart) but never lets it on that he knows. Not actually mad-scientist crazy, more like extremely curious about the human body, passive-aggressive crazy. He’s not going to slit your throat and creepily lick the blood off your laceration, but why not add a voltage meter to your heart and see if it makes you stronger? And oh shit, he broke a rib…oh well, they grow back, right?

Sniper- named Lawrence (i agree, it suits him). Grew up in the Australian outback, away from all that Australium. Like Scout, he’s a typical mama’s boy, though he looks like his dad. His parents (particularly his father) would much rather he be a doctor with a wife already, but despite his pleas that he makes far more than one, they don’t like his line of work. Is usually pretty polite (friendly for one who’s mostly solitary), but actually gets rather nasty once in battle. Despite being a hunter, he doesn’t poach and is actually against it.

Spy- born in Paris, native language French, but has been to almost every country you can think of. His family moved around a lot in his childhood because his parents were spies and received work from all around the world. Comes from a very long line of Spies (not just the mercenaries, the Private-Eye/espionage/government kinds) and actually never even wanted to go into the business, preferring the practice of law. However, pursuing this goal would make him the utter black sheep of the family, and they would not let his natural talent and stealth go to waste. So, he reluctantly decided to embrace being a Spy and became a mercenary. Like the Sniper, he has the capability of being a pretty decent guy—but if he revealed that, nobody would ever take him seriously as a threat. So, he acts like a backstabbing scumbag to make everyone paranoid, and it works.

these are just some ideas i have.
>> No. 8174
Lawrence Mundy. Yes. That is my headcanon. I also reckon he was a total rebel in his teen years, in a kind of backlash against his over-protective mother, father with high expectations and society that wanted him to become something he wasn't. He was set to start medical school but vanished to travel the world for a year or two instead.

John Patrick Lowrie says Sniper is a 'working stiff'. He does what he does to live and that's it, he may not necessarily even enjoy it that much. But he's proud of his skill anyway. Although friendly and apparently quite sane, he can sometimes be a bit egotistical.
>> No. 8175
File 131276022366.png - (86.29KB , 403x308 , hon hon hon.png )
8175
Scout's family is rather poor and this is why he became a mercenary. Also, his mother is growing weed in their secret lair, Spy knows about this and blackmails him everytime, Scout is quite terryfied, he'd rather kept as a secret. That's why he almost pisses himself when he sees Spy and acts like his bitch, to please the great master.

Now, Soldier's grandparent used to be in war, sure. As a cook. But, well, you can't tell these kind of stories to a kid, you gotta improvise. And thus, Soldier upon hearing lots of epic tales of American bravery, decided to become a fighter. Well, unfortunately, there were no battles ongoing when he finally blossomed into beautiful flower, which he is to this day, he enlisted as mercenary. His grandpa still dreads the day when Soldier finds out the truth.

Pyro is a hermaphrodite. Has both dick and boobs, now, this isn't any fetish of mine, but I somehow always imagine him/her being genderless and kinda choosing who to be depending on mood. Feeling brave? Sure, I'm a man. Kinda tired? Well, my women senses are tingling. Also explains the suit. He/She obviously has no hair. Joined the mercenaries to burn down stuff for monies.

Heavy spent his lifetime fighting for the motherland. He also worked in circus, fighting bears and whatnot. Unfortunately, because of communism, the circus ended up broke and Heavy had to look somewhere else for profit, as he has rather big family (he's also the only man, has bunch of sisters, all of them are very pretty and he prides himself on that). He chased the American dream and landed in jail, as a possible KGB agent. But, Administrator was there, recruiting for her team, saw Heavy, decided she wants that hunk working for her. And so, Heavy was set free by her and because of that he has to work for RED/BLU. He doesn't mind though.

Engineer was a kid genius, capable of amazing feats, which would impress many, many teachers. He finished his college at the age of 12 and began to work for his 11 PhD. Suddenly, he fell in love, decided that science is not that important. Unfortunately, his social skills were less than zero, so that didn't work out well. Heartbroken, he wanted to get revenge on the whole world, built bunch of killer machines and enlisted in first availble battle between RED and BLU. He somewhat cooled off now, but he still chuckles in that sort of evil way, while seeing how his sentries massacre the opposing team.

Demoman! Aye, his tale began in Scotland, when he was adopted by rich, white family living in castle (because his parents did blow up themselves and he lost eye in that beautiful explosion). Why did he get adopted, I dunno, but I think it was rather fashion choice. So, he lived his life as a rather exotic pet than a loved son, but he didn't mind. Everything was better than the orphanage. When he grow up a little, he began to question, who his real parents were and why did they explode? So he learned the ancient ways of demomaning and decided to follow that career. The adoptive parents don't mind. He stopped being interesting, so he might as well blow up, for all they care. This explains Demo being a little unstable and having trouble with alcohol. Although, I tend to think that the Demoman's only problem with alcohol is its shortage.

Medic, well, Medic... He certainly was a serious kid. Never playing, never laughing, never crying... Well, he didn't get in any trouble, so it was okay. War found him studying medicine, because he believed that was the most efficent way to serve his country. At the same time, his father was taken away because of his affilations with the communist. In fact, Medic was the one to report that to the higher ups, he was so deeply affected by the propaganda. Then, he worked in the camps and one day, he stumbled upon his father, or rather the shade of that man. Medic pretended to ignore him and pretend that they don't know each other, but his father recognized him. Before he was beaten to death by guards, he said some nasty stuff to Medic, which caused his escape from Germany. He spent some time in Switzerland, to work out his psychical trauma, after war he found out about the bounty on his head for his work in camps. Ran away to America (obviously), Administrator found him and proceeded to blackmail him. He had no other choice but to join. It's why he gets on with Heavy so well, they are in similar position.

Snoipah. He ran away from home when he was about to start his college carieer. He simply one day realised he doesn't want to do any of this medical or law crap, so he ran away from him crude parents. He got in touch with his freak uncle who basicly acted like Bear Grylls all the time, but, well, Sniper didn't have anywhere else to go. Thus he learned the fine art of survivng, fell in love with the bush and got his first rifle. After his uncle died in mysterious attack of rabid koala bears, totes, he moved back to his parents, but as a changed man. He learned how to say no to their expectations and decided to do what he does the best. That is shoot with his rifle. And, well, since he was the best one, albeit rather weird one, Administrator decided to invite him to the battles.

And, Spy, finaly. At first, I totally adored the idea of him being Canadian and just trolling everyone around. But, I think the France suits him better. He also survived the war, working as a Spy for Germany. Then, they started to lose, so he deflected to the winning side. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough for the Allies to forgive his previous sins, they were onto him, so Spy had no other choice but to flee. And he did so with grace. But then, he simply grew bored of this neverending tag play and decided to put his amazing skills to more satisfying job. He himself contacted the Administrator and offered his assistance.

Oh, and his favourite cigaretts are the cherry ones.

I apologize for the terryfing engrish, I had no such luck to be born in english speaking country, just bear with me, excuse me.
>> No. 8177
About the old age thing, I have an uncle who's done just about everything that would be on an average bucketlist; he still travels everywhere, has an amazingly beautiful wife, and flies his own 4-seater plane across the country for roadtrips. He's perfectly fit, not bad looking, even has a nice south-of-the-border tan going on.
He turned 50 just last month. So the "SO-AND-SO CAN'T BE 40-50 THAT WOULD BE TOO OLD!!!" argument is pretty obsolete, especially in the TF2 universe with the Medigun prepping you up. Hell, even my 80-something year old grandpa has never slacked a day in his life, and he's STILL working today and has a little 5 week old puppy to take care of as well as my Alzheimer's-stricken grandma.

And I like that idea that Spy is actually pretty nice but acts like a bastard to intimidate the opposing team. Sly motherfucker. I can see him getting along okay with everyone else on his own team, but he's still obsessive about his privacy. And a stalker headcanon of mine is that Spy secretly keeps an eye on all of his teammates, but not because he doesn't trust them and it's not in a sexual-related way, but more of in a weird caretaker kind of way. Like he'll sneak into their rooms late at night to check up on how they're doing in an obsessive-compulsive way. Inwardly he tells himself he watches over all of them because it's his right to know what everyone is up to and that's what his job as a Spy is, but it's more of like a fucked-up Mother Goose way. He doesn't do anything creepy to them, but takes mental notes on how all of them are doing and tells himself it's "for HIS OWN good."

I like how I'm not the only one that headcanons "Lawrence" Mundy. I can't help but get the image of Scout teasing the hell out of him for it,
"PffftAHAHAHAA! Your name is LAWRENCE? What th'fuck kinda Aussie is called LAWRENCE?? That's pretty freakin' embarrassin'!"

And I also like the idea of Soldier's actual name being Jane Doe. Reminds me of the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue" and fits with it all too well. I easily see him being indignant about it, and beating the living shit out of Scout if he so much as snickers,
"SOLDIER'S GOTTA GIRL'S NAME~! PFTTTHAHAHAHA--AAADFGH JESUS OKAY I'M SORRY--NO C'MON SOLLY I WAS JUST KIDDIN'--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
I had a friend who's real, actual name was 'Julian Slaughter'. He got so much shit from it, especially on the Internet, poor kid.

I can't really see Engie as the nerdy type. He's a grown man, after all, and working on mechanics in Texas isn't really considered 'nerdy' and nor is being into philosophy. But nerdy to me is like, knowing a lot about something and being overly confident about knowing it, but without having one ounce of streetsmarts/common courtesy. I don't know, that could be confused for an asshole, but anyway I would expect Engineer to be a relatively easy-going type of guy. Remember the fact he's someone who spent 10 years in the Texas oilfields, so he's not all softy-intelligent. A headcanon to why he has no hair also is because working on mechanics and in oilfields gets you covered in grease, and working out in the unforgiving Texas heat isn't a park walk either. He shaves his head to keep a bit cooler, and slightly more cleaner when working with engine fluids and the like.

In my headcanon, Medic is crazy, but not in the sense of over-the-top blood fetish and sadism/masochism. He still has SOME humanity, and from the Meet the Medic he apparently dislikes blood and organs and such, or something like that, as evidenced from "Archimedes, no! It's filthy in there, ugh." He isn't particularly sane, being as he lost his medical license from stealing someone's skeleton for whatever reason, but he is an intelligent person but without the strongest grip on a patient's well-being. He'll heal his teammates and all that, but mostly because they aren't very useful when they're missing a leg or an arm.

I still hold onto the canon that Demoman IS missing an eye. He lost his eye when he was a younger, possibly when he was a kid, and I believe the Medigun/Respawn heals and restores a person's being from a certain point, like if he lost his eye YEARS AGO, it's not coming back.
A headcanon explanation for Respawn that I like is that when the mercs signed up and went through evaluation and got into the job, Mann Co. took DNA samples from them and basically kept them on special servers that recorded their recent memories and regenerated them from a default bodily health state. When a person "dies" Respawn keeps biological records of their memory of dying, and somehow regenerates the person from when they last were scanned. I based this off of some fanfiction in /fanfic/, forgot who posted it but it was about Engie saving Sniper when he was bleeding out in his van or something. So far that person's reason was the best I've seen.
>> No. 8178
>>8175
Wow those are some new takes. I kinda like many of them!
>> No. 8179
>>8177
>"PffftAHAHAHAA! Your name is LAWRENCE? What th'fuck kinda Aussie is called LAWRENCE?? That's pretty freakin' embarrassin'!"

Interestingly, there is a town called Lawrence in norther MA.
>> No. 8180
File 131278149237.jpg - (8.67KB , 346x148 , waitwhat.jpg )
8180
>>8158
>Demoman works in housecleaning as a side job
funny you should say that...check out what the wiki.teamfortress.com page says about demo. I don't remember that, I suspect it's new. But I laughed.
>> No. 8182
>>8179
I want to live in that town.

>>8180
That's where I got the idea. The TF2 wiki has so far been a pretty decent source of info, it's pretty neat. When I first saw the "Housecleaning" I had a good giggle, considering he works with explosives and such.
>> No. 8183
File 131279877679.jpg - (353.71KB , 600x2316 , Spoiler Picture.jpg )
8183
>>8175
>Pyro is a hermaphrodite, has both dick and boobs

Humon comic oh-so-very related.
>> No. 8184
>>8180
I can just picture him wearing a pink, flowery apron and not minding too much.
>> No. 8192
>>8184
Vacuuming, casually doing the dishes, cleaning up around the base--I kind of want to draw that now.

>>8175
Part of me wanted to dislike your statements, but the more I read them the more hilarious they became.

>Soldier's grandpa being a cook in the war.

I choked.
>> No. 8206
>>8180
It's from old trailer: http://store.steampowered.com/video/440/931
>> No. 8214
I watched that but I guess I missed something.
>> No. 8218
I suspect the spy's balaclava's are made out of some material that clings to their face better. Ever see someone in a ski mask or something in cosplay? Totally different. I wanna know what material the spies uses. Maybe spandex!
>> No. 8219
>>8206
i kept noticing the wilhelm screams.
>> No. 8228
>>8218
I'm thinking the same thing. I don't usually do cosplay, but there's no way it's just an ordinary ski mask.

And oh god, the old beta TF2.
>> No. 8259
Just wanted to ask something here related to Engie. Not sure whether this was the right place, but seeing as it's headcanon I'd thought I'd give it a go.

I've heard that people from Texas are very religious Christians. Is this true? What sort of Christians are they usually? I was thinking that since Engie's from the area and seeing as it is still 1968 that he'd be the religious sort. Are people from Texas also very conservative? I'd like to know before I write any Engie fics.
>> No. 8261
>>8259

Google is youf friend. A search of "religious denominations Texas" brings up the following...

http://www.city-data.com/states/Texas-Religions.html

Huh, I was not expecting that.

It's really up to you how religious Engie is. He certainly would have been expected to go to Church every Sunday (that was pretty much THE social gathering, especially in a small town like Bee Cave). He has terrible accuracy, so he may not have owned a gun before he signed up as a Merc (or, if you subscribe to the theory that he always had a robot hand under the glove, then maybe the prosthetic affected his fine motor control). Politically, Texas does lean more conservative in general but it's more because Texans have a pretty big chip on their shoulder about how Texas was once its own nation than because they're traditionally Republican. Bee Cave is also a very, VERY predominately white town (as in 97%), at least according to modern day demographics.
>> No. 8270
Curious as to what others think: do the teams have a "home base" that they return to after battle, or do they just stay where they are currently fighting and utilize the base there?
Also, do the mercs have individual rooms or sleep together in a barrack?
>> No. 8272
>>8270
I could easily see them all moving from place to place, and having their own personal rooms at all of the bases; being as the bases in the maps are so huge, surely there would be room enough for 9 medium-sized one-person bedrooms somewhere?

The thing in my head is they stay and utilize the base they are currently fighting at, and when the job there is done they pack up and leave for the next place, with maybe some leisure time in-between. Each base has separate rooms for all of the mercs, and it's like moving from your summer home to your winter home; the rooms are still your rooms, just disused and you pack most of your personal belongings to have at the next base.
They have a chalkboard around with a cycle of maps on it, so this might be cannon that they have regularly scheduled moves from base to base.
>> No. 8284
I have recently become fond of the idea of Demoman being in the Royal Navy during WWII. Mostly because the man looks so damn natural in that uniform.

Also, Navy or not, he has an anchor tattoo on his bicep. One with a heart and a bannor that says Mom.

Somehow, I hate Demoman a little less now.
>> No. 8286
>>8284
>Mum

fixed
>> No. 8287
>>8286
Do they actually spell it as Mum or just pronouce it like that?
>> No. 8290
>>8287
We spell it as 'mum', too.
>> No. 8309
Sniper's personality is a bit of a puzzle to me.

He seems like quite a friendly guy from his Meet the Sniper movie based on how he speaks to the viewer. He mentions that he's a professional, so he doesn't let his feelings get in the way. But when he's on the battlefield, he can get quite heated up (this is based on his taunts). He also got pretty angry when his parents were threatened.

I don't know whether he's a lone-wolf sort of person, or if he's actually friendlier than that. He doesn't seem like a cold-hearted killer to me.

So far, my headcanon has him as a friendly person once you get to know him, but he's also a bit of an introvert. He won't go searching for companionship; he's the sort of guy that you have to initiate the friendship with. He probably views family as very important as well. As for whether he's polite or not...Not too sure about this one as he insults his enemies quite frequently in his script. He also seems like a live and let live person, a bit of a wild and free spirit who does what he likes as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. And lastly, he finds it very difficult to trust people; he is an introvert and he'd prefer to keep things to himself. He doesn't mind being alone and actually might prefer things that way.

What do you guys think?
>> No. 8316
>>8309

I think his different portrayals all boil down to deportment. The friendly and sociable Sniper we see in Meet the Sniper reflects his off-duty behavior whereas his in-game taunts show his work persona. It's like how you'd behave differently at home than you would in a restaurant, church, or what have you.

I agree with Sniper being an introvert though, especially when any of his teammates at any time could be a Spy. As for his views on family, while he disagrees with his father, it seems he doesn't hate him and would never want anything bad to happen to him or his mother, which would explain his reaction to their photograph in Meet the Director.
>> No. 8463
Not headcanon as much as a story idea.

Helen has a personal Purple team. Their only purpose is to kidnap members of RED or BLU when they get too chummy with their own teammates, incite a fight, and keep the guys edgy so even same-team relations don't get too close.

I need a team color to refer to non-specific-team fics and art as, but I dunno if I want to use PRPL because of the above. I don't prefer any specific team or see them as drastically different personality-wise in my head, so I never write/draw specific teams unless someone asks me to draw their OC.
>> No. 8465
>>8463
Neutral? NEU or NTRL?
>> No. 8476
>>8465
That'd work, I think. Thanks!
>> No. 8477
First: Captcha says 'Buongiorno redsInt', which seemed really relevant. RED, Captcha is making off with your Intelligence.

I'm posting my brother's headcanon, since he doesn't frequent the chan (apparently knowing me is enough of a scarring slash-creating experience for him...)

We were talking about the Pyro (I don't even know how we started), and the conversation went thus;

BRO: So the Pyro has a purse in its locker,

MOI: And a lady hat! With a flower. I want that hat in real life...

BRO: Yeah,

MOI: I love hats.

BRO: I know. So we don't know what the Pyro looks like, but Pyro has a purse and a woman's hat and makes constant geek and gamer references. You know what that means?

MOI: The Pyro is... me?

BRO: Well, yes, kind of. Pyro is the fandom!

MOI: That's so meta.

BRO: Yes. Pyro is the average TF2 fan.

The more I thought about it, the better it worked. Explains why Pyro knows things that exist outside the timeline, for starters. And then the whole 'everyone who doesn't know better assumes Pyro/fandom is always male because mercenaries/FPS players are male, wait, WTF purse/massive amounts of gay porn?!' parallel.

So now MY headcanon for Pyro includes 'slashes teammates/enemies'. I picture Scout snooping through Pyro's locker and finding a notebook full of porn of the other classes...
>> No. 8478
>>8477
Pyro knows things outside the timeline? I just woke up, I don't remember that. Remind me?

http://www.emilyway.com/images/RB10140RoseBouquetTeaHat.jpg
you can buy tea hats! You should get one
>> No. 8483
>>8478
Mostly I think he meant the Hadouken taunt...

YES. HATS. (my brother and I have also discussed the fact that I live my life in a TF2-like quest to obtain as many hats as possible...)
>> No. 8491
>>8483
Yes, Hadouken and Star Wars taunt.

Or maybe Pyro is just Time Lord. Who knows.
>> No. 8528
Sniper headcanon time, since I've built up a lot of headcanon around him...

In my mind, his first name is Ned. It had been my headcanon name for him before he got a canon last name, but luckily for me, I think 'Ned Mundy' sounds pretty good, actually... I also see his dad as a 'George'. Never had a headcanon name for his mum...

Always imagined his parents having a station in Burra, South Australia (as opposed to the Burra in New South Wales, which is an important distinction) where they raise sheep.

I love me some socially awkward Sniper. I think it's a vicious cycle type thing-- he made the decision to live off on his own in the wilderness for long stretches of time because he didn't know how to get on well socially, but isolating himself from people did the opposite of rectifying that situation. He's nice enough, just awkward. Doesn't approach other people, but doesn't make a habit of turning down a friendly overture. I think he wants to have those strong bonds of friendship, though, I think he holds that as an ingrained ideal, that if you're in a tough survival-type situation with a bloke, you ought to come out of it willing to fight and bleed and die for him, and him for you. That's how it is in books and all, he's just not entirely sure how normal friendship is supposed to work.

He probably did well as a sniper during his stint in National Service-- I imagine that's what set him on his career path. Sure, most of the skills he started honing beforehand, but it's not like you learn you've got what it takes to shoot people in the brain when you're out in the desert on your lonesome.

And I see him as being a reader. Anything from classic literature to pulp horror paperbacks to poetry, if that's what's at hand. (In doing research once for a fic, I learned that the Patrick White novel I wanted to have him read was published just a couple years too late for the timeframe, and it was devastating... I went with a different one, it just didn't speak as personally to Sniper's situation) Reading's a good solitary pursuit, you can do it anywhere, a book's something you can pick up and put down depending on when you have to.

He cares about both his parents quite a lot, but he can't be around home much because he and his dad have the same arguments over and over again, and he figures their relationship overall is better if they don't talk too often.

He sees absolutely nothing unmanly about knitting or sewing-- he strives for perfect self-sufficiency, and that means being able to mend his own shirts just as much as it means being able to fix a problem with his van or being able to kill, clean, and cook whatever it is he needs to eat.

Musical tastes... I imagine he enjoys Slim Dusty.

That might be all I've got, headcanon-wise, for Sniper. Some of it is supported in little ways by canon, some of it's just stuff my brain did.
>> No. 8530
>>8177
i agree that older people can be quite spry, but as I look through military age requirements, I see that the ages are quite low, the youngest being 18 and the highest being 35. so, even if it's a different setting, give or take five years, they really can't afford to be that much older.
>> No. 8534
The only way Soldier could possibly be younger than 41 is if he was rejected from the military for being underage, and not just for being batshit. If he was 18 when the war started, he'd be about 47 when the game takes place in 1968.
It seems like there's been plenty of age discussion in this thread already, but oh well. My headcanon for age is
Soldier: 44-50, Probably late 40's
Demoman: 39-47, I'd say early, maybe mid 40's
Medic: 40-46, I'd say early 40's
Heavy: 39-46, I'd say early 40's
Engineer: 42-49, I'm inclined to say early 40's, he doesn't actually look that old to me.
Spy: 38-45, I'd guess around 40.
Sniper: 34-42, Looks late 30's to me.
Scout: 18-23, My best guess is 19.
Pyro: 18-55
Some are hard to pin down. Demoman, for example, looks quite young until you look closely in Meet The Demoman and see he has crow's feet.
>> No. 8537
>>8534

I see them as all being in their late 30's through early or middle 40's, with the exception of the Scout and the Medic. I see the Medic as being older (early to middle 50's) and the Scout as being in his late teens to very early 20's. No more than 22 or 23.

Medic because he has the gray sideburns, and with my own experience, I started getting gray hairs when I was 25, but I'm 44 now, and I still don't have visible gray the way Medic does, so he's got to be older than me. (My hair still looks completely brown from a distance. You can only see the gray hairs if you are very close and really look).

Scout looks and acts like someone who is really young. He sort of epitomizes the "Young, Dumb and Full of Cum" stereotype. And remember that this was the 60's- people back then grew up a little faster than they do now. At least according to friends of mine who really did grow up back then.

I've seen people on other sites Cough!DA!cough, who seem to think that all the characters are in their 20's- and draw them all that way. And every time, I feel like "No. Just HELL NO." I have to point out that these are guys with lots of fighting experience- experience that someone in their 20's would just not be able to match. (And yeah, Solly fought in WW2, but they seem to gloss right over that. That's because of his personal time machine, dontchaknow. Bleh.

I got the idea that the Administrator went for the best people she could get- the best who also wouldn't be missed, the ones who didn't mind or actually enjoyed beating other people's heads in, stabbing their backs, shooting them or whatever, for the the forseeable future. You know, the guys who enjoyed the battle a little too much for the comfort of the other guys around them (Well, with the exception of the Sniper- Snipers have to be able to stay cool-headed in battle. But this Sniper was the guy who could do anything to make that shot- hang out camouflaged in a tree for a week and a half, barely eating, drinking or peeing, just for that one perfect shot, and then melt away so silently that you never knew he was there.) And so on. If you meet them outside of work, most of them are really personable guys. But you meet them on the job, and unless you are on their side, you are just another body with a target on it. No hard feelings. That's just the job.
>> No. 8541
>>8537
The gray hairs could be from stress or whatever radiation comes from being in close contact to the medigun/pack all day.
>> No. 8542
>>8537
Gray hair means nothing. People go gray from stress and genetics. I've known people who were completely gray by the time they were 30. My dad is in his mid-fifties and barely has any gray at all.
That said, Medic looks much younger in Meet the Medic than he does in-game. Personally I'd place him anywhere from 40-50. I'll agree with you about the rest of the cast though.
>> No. 8543
>>8537
My mom's cousin was completely silver by his thirties. People thought he dyed it that way on purpose.

Though I do see a few of the guys as being older. But, you know, for what it's worth.
>> No. 8546
>>8543
>>8537
that's what also leads me to think that they're in their 30s/early-mid 40s.
one of my best friends once had a complete gray streak in her hair by age 13, which isn't altogether uncommon. it's just genetics.
my sister had started having gray hairs on her head by age 19.
my father had jet-black hair until a stressful series of events. now, he's mostly silver/white-haired, and is only 58.
gray hair means nothing.
>> No. 8551
My age headcanon came from a crazy process of matching personalities to Chinese Zodiacs and picking a probable year.

Scout: 18, born 1950, Tiger
Soldier: 48, born 1920, Rat
Pyro: 26 or 29, born either 1939 or 1942, Rabbit or Horse (couldn't decide)
Demoman: 36, born 1932, Monkey
Heavy: 39, born 1929, Dragon
Engineer: 43, born 1925, Ox
Medic: 47, born 1921, Rooster
Sniper: 38, born 1930, Snake
Spy: 41, born 1927, Rabbit

Thoughts?
>> No. 8559
>>8541
>>8542
>>8543
>>8546

Doubtless, you're right, but it seemed that Medic's gray hairs come from age and experience, not early trauma. Of course, reading between the lines of the original Valve bio, he was either late in Medical school or already a Doctor during WW2, which also speaks to him being older than the others. Solly can conceivably have been 17 or 18 when he went to Europe to fight in the War (maybe even 16 if he lied to the recruiters about his age- it seems like something he might have done), but medical school takes time, and I see Medic as being in his early to middle 20's during the war, maybe even late 20's (depending on what kind of medical degree he had, which we just don't know. Was he a GP? A Surgeon? A guy doing autopsies (I know there is a specific name for it, but I can't remember it now. Forensic Pathologist?)? A lot would depend on his specialty, if he had one. That could be a 4 or 5 year difference. But in the end, I just see him as the oldest one of the group.

>>8551

I happen to be a Sheep/Ram myself. But don't forget that the years also have an element associated with them that can change the expression of a sign. I'm a Fire Sheep, born in 1967, which makes me braver and more spirited than the straight- up sheep. The elements are metal, wood, fire, water and earth.

So, for those dates, Scout would be a metal tiger (I think of him as being more of a Monkey, as he has that kind of Monkey-esque quality to him.)
Solly would be a Monkey if he was born in 1920. Rat would be 1924. 1920 is the year of the Metal Monkey, and 1924 is the year of the Wood Rat.
Pyro- 1939 would be year of the Earth Rabbit and 1942 would be Water Horse.
Demoman- 1932 Water Monkey
Heavy- 1929 Earth Snake
Engineer- 1925 Wood Ox
Medic- 1921 Metal Rooster
Sniper- 1930 Metal Horse
Spy- 1927 Fire Rabbit

Basically, Metal years make a sign more inflexible and set in their ways and attitudes. Fire years make a sign more adventurous and passionate/stronger willed. Wood makes a sign more flexible (wood is like bamboo- it bends) and spiritual, earth makes the sign much more emotionally stable and while not inflexible as metal is, it's harder to make them change, as the earth tends to abide. Water year signs are the most flexible and changeable of all, One might even say wishy-washy.

I see the Spy as a Snake. Snakes tend to be vain and flashy and even selfish. They have problems trusting others and tend to rely on themseves, but they do have deep sympathies for others. They appear placid on the surface, but have deep passions and hate to fail.

I view the Pyro as a Sheep/Goat. They tend to be soft-spoken, and compassionate, but they also don't say much. They are passionate about what they do and believe in.

Engie always struck me as a boar/Pig. Pigs are the consummate workers of the Chinese Zodiac. They know what they have to do, and they do it with no boasting or false pride. They don't make friends all that easily, but when they do, those friends are for life. They are also thirsty for knowledge and study a lot (11 PH.D.'s anyone?) They have a quick temper, but hate to argue.

I see the Demoman as a Horse. Talented, good with his hands, and likes being entertained. Cheerful and perceptive, they also tend to talk too much for their own good. They are very independent and don't take the advice of others.

Heavy is very much a Dragon, yes.

Medic is a Rat, a thinker with great charisma. Before the "Meet the Medic" video came out, I probably would have agreed with you that he was a Rooster, but Roosters are very uptight taskmasters (and Metal Roosters are so uptight and inflexible that they probably come equipped with metal anal sphincters as well!). Rats also tend to do well with money (just an aside, there.)

Sniper is an Ox. Oxen have the reputation of being stupid, but it's generally more that they hide their light under a barrel. They are quiet, patient and hate to fail or be opposed. When they do speak, they tend to be direct and to the point. They are also mentally and physically alert. Generally easy going, but once they get started, they are hard to stop and if you rouse their temper, you'll get gored.

Solly is very probably a Dog. Dogs tend to be leaders, trustworthy and honest, as well as loyal. They can be selfish, stubborn and emotionally distant. They tend to have sharp tongues and are almost always barking at (criticizing) others.

Another aside is that the Sheep and the Rabbit are considered the most feminine signs of the Chinese Zodiac, because they tend to be quiet and charming (qualities all good Chinese females should have!) In Western Astrology, Cancers would be the most feminine sign of the Zodiac. The most "Male" signs of the Chinese Zodiac are the Tiger and Dragon. In Western Astrology, that would be Capricorn.)
>> No. 8560
>>8551

Oh yes, another thing about Dogs is their patriotism. It tends to be of the extreme type. The guy who came up with the saying, "My country, right or wrong" was probably a dog. And who do we know who resembles ultra-patriot? ::Winks.::

Dogs are also judges. They have to know who and what you are, friend or foe, before they will trust you. If they don't trust you, they may not say so outright, but you can be sure you are under their gimlet eye, and once they have proof that you are up to no good, they will track you down and bring you to justice just like a tracking hound.

When he is right, the dog is obstinate and unbending. The only good thing about their sharp tongue is that they don't exempt themselves from the same critical judging they hand out to others.

Now, here's my Western Zodiac take on the classes:
Medic is a Virgo, Heavy is a Taurus, Solly is a Scorpio. Spy is a Gemini, Sniper is a Sagittarius (also sign of the Archer, Durr Hurr). Demoman is a Leo, Engie is a Taurus, Scout is an Aries. Pyro is a Libra or maybe a Pisces (both work, actually).
>> No. 8561
>>8272

Just saw this. Yes, I think pretty much the same, except that most bases are continually occupied. In between moves (they get a week or a week and a half to move to a new base), the bases are abandoned, for the most part. Most of the mercs go by train or bus, except for Engineer (who drives his truck) and Sniper (who has his camper van). Medic has his ambulance, but he goes with the rest of the team on the train, because he is the one giving the twice-annual physicals. Engie and Sniper get theirs before (or after) the move. The teams know there are other teams at other bases, but none of them have any idea that they are pretty much all clones. The same nine guys, all clones, fighting on both sides. They don't necessarily notice that the guys on the other team look exactly the same as they do- their perceptions are colored by dislike and outright hate in most instances, but all of them believe that they are the originals, and to be honest, no one knows who is right or wrong about that any more. And since respawn was invented, there is no aging for the teams, either, since every time they respawn, they are exactly the same as when they were first scanned. So far, not enough time has passed for it to be noticeable on the outside world, but someday... they'll wake up to find everyone they know is dead- but they'll look and feel the same as ever.

Anyhow, back to the switching bases... most teams cycle between two or three bases over and over, switching at set times. They don't live in the base buildings, but in an extra level underneath the base proper. This is why you never see where the teams sleep, eat or shower/use the toilet- its in the parts the gamers don't see. The entrances to these parts of the base are hidden and only used at night or at noon on lunch break.

And the one good thing about the winter/Cold Springs map is that it is built over an honest to goodness Hot Spring with abundant hot water. Since one team is there in the Winter, that makes that base bearable for the Winter team.
>> No. 8585
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8585
For my canon, I went along with it's an ongoing war with people replacing the team members ala Cuanta Vida, so the setting I have is more present time. Maybe early/mid-2000's, possibly 2003 as an allusion to the War on Terror.

Short versions (RED team only):

Soldier was a Vietnam vet instead of WW II. His fascination with collecting dismembered heads came from an incident that happened when he was a prisoner of war. He comes from a strong military family and all male members have women's names.

Engineer was a child genius, making his first prototypes when he was 8. He was the youngest engineering graduate from Texas A&M University and worked on an oil rig before signing up for the war.

Medic (my given name for him is Heinrich Strudelesser) is always being outshone by his brother, Wilhelm, who is a Nobel Prize winning geneticist. His father was a dentist. Medic is also openly gay, but downplays it, ie, not very flamboyant.

Demoman is what he is: a Demoman. He has a younger brother, Destro, who would rather be an engineer. Constantly nagged by his mother to get married.

Scout is just some tough little punk from Boston. His parents are divorced and his brothers would beat on him. Hyper because he has ADD.

Heavy was a former wrestler and soldier from Russia. As much as he loves destroying people with his miniguns, Heavy doesn't take pleasure from killing. Follows Medic around like a puppy.

Sniper's name is Eugene Yuranga Mundy and he comes from the Northern Territory of Australia. His mother, Linda, is half-Aborigine. His father, Roy, is a sheep rancher who looks like James Arness from Gunsmoke. Roy is also a closeted bisexual and was a crossdresser in his younger days. Gene has an older brother Derek, an older sister- Kerry, and a younger sister- Nell. Sadly, Nell died when she was eight after being bit by a funnel web spider. The family wasn't really well off, they lived in a trailer house, and Eugene shared a room with his siblings. Every spring and fall, Roy and his sons would herd the sheep to his brother's farm in Amoongoona for shearing. From kindergarten to fifth grade, the Mundy children were homeschooled by their Aunt Margaret. Gene also has dyslexia, and can't really read all that good. His shooting skills developed from hunting to sharpshooting at competitions held at fairs.

Spy was born into a life of privilege in Orleans, France. His parents were very wealthy and sent him to the finest schools, hoping that he would go into business. He joined the French Intelligence Agency and went on many dangerous missions. Spy is also currently dating Charlene "Cha Cha" DeSanti, mother of the BLU Scout. He is vegetarian.

Nothing is known much about the Pyro, other than he/she loves fire and enjoys torching victims. Shares a love of cooking as well.

I'll update BLU info in the next post if anyone is interested.
>> No. 8615
>>8560

My own western zodiac list was similar, though I'd argue a few differences. Sniper seems more like an Aquarius to me; he's aloof, but spends a lot of time observing others. Also, Aquarius is the sign of the water-bearer. (ho ho) Demoman strikes me as a Sagittarius, the mutable Fire sign, as he's more reckless and thrill-seeking and lacks the sort of calm, proud demeanor that the stereotypical Leo, (the fixed Fire sign) possesses. Heavy could be Taurus, but I like to think of him as a Capricorn, the cardinal Earth sign. He has the potential to be a great leader, and he has a sort of savage, melancholic majesty about him. Soldier is also a natural leader and he's far more sentimental than sensual, which is why I have him pegged as Cancer, which is also a cardinal sign. He also seems like someone who's very recalcitrant, hiding under his helmet. Virgo is a mutable sign, so I wouldn't say that Virgo is a bad match for Medic, but his strong theatrical streak and absentmindedness make me think more of Pisces, the mutable water sign.
>> No. 8629
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8629
ok I posted this once and it was longer but the captcha was wrong and damned if I'm typing it all again...

I don't think the TF2 flamethrowers are nearly as powerful/dangerous as RL ones. I suspect that few nonspies are burned to death and mostly it's used to spycheck and catch people's clothes (and the people by proxy) on fire, causing some damage, pain, and distraction. They can stop drop and roll. Also if they were really horrible then people would quit a lot from mental distress. You can't burn to death several times and respawn without having nightmares, crippling anxiety, and paranoia.
>> No. 8631
I actually think Pyro is male and female, but not in the hermaprhodite sense, but in the two minds, one body sense.

First Mind/The Body: The body, and consequently, the first mind, is a young girl, around the age of six. All is fine and calm for a while until August 6th, 1945. The day of the Hiroshima bomb. Due to how radiation tends to work in fiction, it has a 1-in-a-million chance to give the victiom superpowers. This little girl was lucky enough to be that one-in-a-million. She developed the ability of pyrokinesis(Hadouken taunt, Rift Axe, Axtinguisher).

The Second Mind/The Suit: In many Japanese myths, inanimate objects can come to life after existing for long enough. People can also become demons, ghosts, or spirits, bound to certain objects. The second mind is actually in Pyro's fire suit. I think Pyro may have fused one of her ancestors/previous lives/personal demon to the suit, thus making Pyro have the protection of an ancient shogun(if the spirit is an ancestor or previous life), or have the protection a demon, such as a kitsune, nekomata, or pheonix.(Some demons know to use fire magic. The brainslug may also be one of these.)

The Whole: Bringing a Taoist view onto this(Yin and Yang), Pyro is actually the one character in game who is balanced.

Yin is characterized as slow, soft, yielding, diffuse, cold, wet, and passive; and is associated with water, earth, the moon, femininity and nighttime. The woman, Pyro is Yin, because as a human, she is wet(Being made of 70% water), and inside the suit, darkness.

Yang, by contrast, is fast, hard, solid, focused, hot, dry, and aggressive; and is associated with fire, sky, the sun, masculinity and daytime. The spirit, the suit is Yang, seeing as it is hot and can resist fire, sees the light of day, and the agressive heat of battle, unlike the body inside.

So Pyro is two people at once. There's the pyrokinetic atomic bomb survivor inside the suit, and the male, spirit bound to the suit, pretecting its ally.

And before you say this is silly take some things into account. Ghosts exist in this game. The Horsemann and the Eyelander are two examples.

How does Pyro know about Street Fighter? Street Fighter was made in Japan. Pyro made the TF2 version of Street Fighter, basing it off of her days as a merc. Street Fighter has people from around the world, just like TF2.

And the Pyro is 30, going by my age estimates.


Also, BLU Sniper isn't Australian. He's a Finnish man pretending to be Australian. This is mostly so I can make a frozen Jarate joke, and partly because of Simo Hayha, the best sniper of WWII, known as Belaya Smert by the Russians, aka The White Death. Now who do Sniper's tend to pick off first? The Heavies, aka Russians.
>> No. 8632
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8632
>>8631
thats deep
>> No. 8638
>>8631

I never thought I'd see Simo Hayha's name come up on the 'chan...

Day, made.
>> No. 8645
File 131467260943.jpg - (257.53KB , 785x1000 , Spoiler Picture.jpg )
8645
After reviewing all the evidence and conferring with several of my most intelligent acquaintances, I believe I have found the most logical explanation for the pyro's identity.

I don't really think this, but wouldn't it be weird. It would explain why no one understands pyro though.
>> No. 8661
>>8631
i very much approve of this.
also, bonus points for the mention of Simo Hayha. I figured it was only a matter of time before someone related him to the Sniper.
>> No. 8697
Has anyone seen the new Swiffer Duster "Dust in the Wire Jungle" commercial? Every time I see that, I think about the Dust in Sniper's van talking with an Australian accent.
>> No. 8698
>>8697
I pointed at the screen and yelled "SAXTON HAAAALE" when I first saw it.
>> No. 8703
>>8698

::Laughs like a hyena.::
>> No. 8706
Something I've been curious about recently...

How insane are the classes if at all?
>> No. 8707
>>8706
Just my opinions.

Soldier - Fairly batshit, nuff said.
Engineer - Often portrayed as being one of the sanest of the group, although he seems to be more of a mad genius to me. He did saw off his own arm after all.
Medic - Not really insane but ... rather sinister in his approach to his job. Otherwise he seems quite friendly.
Sniper - May be one of the sanest. He's kind of difficult because his personality in Meet the Sniper seems to contrast his personality ingame a bit. Based on the game - will do what it takes to get the job done. Based on the video - working stiff, just doing his job.
Demoman - Loves to blow shit up and isn't very gentlemanly about it, wouldn't really call him insane though, he's just doing his job.
Scout - Not insane, just a bit egotistical.
Pyro - Most likely rather insane.
Heavy - Seems to really enjoy killing people. He's also a bit difficult because his manner of speaking and personality don't suggest insanity to me.
Spy - Not insane, just really loves to get the upper-hand in both physical and verbal situations. He's also fairly egotistical.
>> No. 8708
>>8706
This question inspired me to take a personality disorder test, answering for each class to the best of my ability. I didn't answer for Pyro though, because we obviously can't hold potatoes to the same standards as people. Anywho, these are the results:

Scout - Histrionic, Narcissistic, Antisocial.

Engineer - None.

Soldier - Paranoid, Schizoid, Antisocial,
Narcissistic, Obsessive-Compulsive.

Spy - Antisocial.

Demoman - None.

Sniper - Schizoid.

Heavy - None.

Medic - Moderately Obsessive-Compulsive,
Moderately Schizoid, Moderately Antisocial, Moderately Narcissistic.

I think that's pretty damn accurate.
>> No. 8709
Heavy talking to his guns, if not a symptom of schizophrenia, is a sign he's more lonely than he lets on. I think he refused to talk about his past with The Director because it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like letting on that he's not as unphased as he seems. Ditto with Demo, but he smothers it with alcohol, smoking, and blowing shit up.

Engie is a mad scientist, no doubt, but he seems like the least likely to let that on. Like you could go out for a beer with him and he'd never let on he's unstable.

I always thought Soldier was too dedicated to AMERICA to really have a relationship with either sex. Or something made me think he'd be really uncomfortable with intimacy and sex. If he were gay, he'd never pursue it because he was convinced he'd go to hell if he did.
>> No. 8711
Soldier feels very Gen. Turgidson to me.

... And now I have the urge to draw TF2/Dr. Strangelove crossover art...
>> No. 8712
>>8706

i think they all of them sort of are, to a degree. obviously none of them are really truly unstable or prone to fits of hallucinations and detachment from reality(schizophrenic), or else they would be rendered unable to do their jobs efficiently. but, all of them have a different sort of "violent" streak to them. soldier, heavy, pyro, scout, and demo all have a loud, crazy, boisterous violent streak. medic, engie, spy, and sniper have a much more subdued streak. Manifestations of said streak all come differently to each class.

(also i think heavy talking to his gun probably just means he's lonely and a bit traumatized from being in a concentration camp.)
>> No. 8713
>>8615

I dunno. How much of Sniper observing comes from the job and how much from personality? I got the impression from the "Meet the" vid and the "Meet the Director" comic that he's less detatched than he lets on.

With Regards to Solly, though... I don't see him as a Cancer at all. My impressions of Cancers are Highly emotional and homebodies. Solly would sneer at anybody on the battlefield being too emotional. Then again, whatever sign he really is may be masked by his batshit insanity. I say Scorpio because Scorpios are INTENSE people, and they have very little sense of humor with regards to themselves (again, from Personal experience of working with them) and get really bent out of shape over tiny little things. Their sense of humor tends to be fairly dark, also in my experience, and they have a fascination with the dark/seamy stuff and death, which puts me in mind of Solly's head collection.

And for Medic,Virgos tend to be kind of clinical in regards to stuff, and a stickler for cleanliness (No, Archimedes- get out of there, it's filthy!) This website made me laugh- the line about how some Male Virgos strike people as effeminate... http://www.astrology-online.com/virgo.htm Well, Valve, way to go with that by giving the Medic the Geisha wig!
>> No. 8716
>>8713
I agree with most of these sign-matches, BUT, I have to kind of disagree with Solly not being a Cancer; Cancer's are emotional, but 'emotional' very much counts as anger. Usually when you consider someone 'emotional' there are two derivatives: they are very sensitive towards things, but how they portray that emotion is usually either in anger or being crying upset. Like, when a MAN is 'emotional', they commonly portray it as being aggressively or defensively upset, like anger, and when a WOMAN is 'emotional', they commonly portray it as much more saddening, like crying or getting in a depressed state. It's how hormones work, and how the two different sex brains work.

I like the idea of Solly being a Scorpio too, but the general Scorpio seems more like Medic to me. The aspect of Solly being Cancer is that he is very protective towards any relationships and gets worked up over things easily, which he does based on the Director comic and the WAR comic. BUT because everyone has their own portrays of the guys everything is just opinions and guesses based on how we know they act. It would be neat if Valve ever gave any more hints into their lives, but that may be until Meet the Pyro eventually comes out.
>> No. 8717
Spy has always hid his identity, even now, even with a mask on it is still not his real face.
He stole the identity of a man whose life he ruined and thought he had left for dead, but it turns out he's alive and pissed and is ready to track him down and end him for good.
Spy is the pyro who once had a family, friends and a good life until he ruined all that and now Pyro is out for revenge.
>> No. 8719
>>8716

My headcanon makes Soldier and Scout both Aries. They just always strike me as being similar in how they react to things and I always see them as characters who would always butt heads constantly. I like to think Soldier would have a Scorpio Moon though to amplify INTENSITY. And if we go with the Chinese Zodiac and say that Soldier is a Dog, that'd make his birthday around April 12-14, 1922 in my headcanon.
>> No. 8724
>>8716
>>8719

Or like me, Mars in Scorpio. Also very intense in certain ways. And I have Moon in Taurus as well. My anger is like the Hulk. I can take a lot of shit without reacting. But once you set me off... hoo boy! It doesn't help that I was a virtual outcast when I was in school and got a lot of teasing. I internalized it all and when I finally went off, it was like a nuclear bomb drop. I still jokingly say, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Like Bill Bixby did in the TV series...
>> No. 8725
Small headcanon about Engie: he never sawed off his arm to install the Gunslinger because, well, he never had one in the first place!

Dell will tell you that he sawed off his arm in order to do it, but the actual truth is that, when he was born, his right arm up to a certain point was extremely unhealthy, even shriveled. It had to be surgically removed and so, for many years, Dell grew up with only arm functioning arm. With the help of one of his brothers, he designed a prosthetic arm that would hopefully give him the result he had been seeking for so long: normality. The design was patented under RED (and stolen by BLU) and mass-produced, and soon enough he had a functioning arm.

But, this came at a price. For all throughout middle and high school, he was teased for the fact that he had a prosthetic, and his short stature only made things worse. When he moved onto college, he finally found peace and funneled all of his rage from those years into getting 11 PhDs, wowing his family (well, they stopped getting surprised after the seventh degree) and bringing in loads of money as the RED Engineer.

When his blood sample was taken and BLU stole it to clone him, they had to alter his genetics so that the next clone would be respawned with a healthy arm. When the Gunslinger was released into the public, it was the BLU Engineer that actually had to saw off his arm (thankfully, BLU keeps two blood samples of Dell: one with his faulty arm and one with a healthy arm; the latter's memories are appropriately altered upon respawn).
>> No. 8727
>>8713
>>8716
>>8719


Aquarius isn't detached so much as aloof- the stereotypical Aquarius is fascinated with those around him, but enjoys being alone a lot of the time to explore and meditate. Considering that the Sniper is a survivalist and that he works alone, it's clear that he has a 'lone wolf' sort of personality.

Scorpios are ambitious, independant and manipulative by nature, and nothing we've seen of Solly indicates that he has the capacity or inclination for mind games. He's also not a very sensual person, but he is ragingly sentimental and he has a wild imagination. His ability to buckle down when things get real give him some capacity as a leader, though- you don't see him panicking, fumbling or fleeing in battle. Medic doesn't strike me as a Scorpio either, as he doesn't have an ambitious nature- he's a scientist, not a svengali.

While Aries is a sign associated with competitive natures and aggression, Aries people are incredibly straightforward and not prone to the sort of flights of fancy that colour the Soldier's reality. Additionally, when confronted on an emotional level, it's in the Aries' blood to lash out- in the War! update, when Solly is told that his friend has betrayed him, he becomes recalcitrant, digging his heels in and refusing to believe it. He's right, of course, and this suggests that he's more insightful and patient than people give him credit for being.
>> No. 8728
>>8716
That's true, not to mention that Cancers can hide behind a thick shell.

But one thing that doesn't sound much like Soldier is that Cancers also avoid conflict if they can.
>> No. 8737
>>8728

I don't think there is anyone of any sign who completely fits the stereotypical sign to the T. If we stick to strictly sun signs and say Soldier is a Cancer, he could be one on the Cancer/Leo cusp, meaning he'd have the influence of Leo too which brings in more Fire traits into his personality and also intensify that sense of chaos with the conflicting Water/Fire.

There's so many factors in play with astrology. man, I kinda really hate to simplify it so rigidly.
>> No. 8756
>>8737

Realistically, almost any person could 'fit' almost any sign, depending on secondary influences, and even though the nine classes have pretty simply-defined personalities, not all of them mesh 100% with any (simplified) zodiacal sign. While I was putting my 'fictional character horoscope' chart together, I basically tried to figure out as much as I could about each character's personality and then slot that in with whichever 'stereotypical' sign meshed the best with that information. A few were very easy, (Engineer is a stereotypical Taurus, Scout is a stereotypical Aries, Spy is a stereotypical Gemini) while others were still somewhat up in the air after I was done. Medic could also be a Virgo, Soldier could also be an Aries- in their cases, I'd argue that it's the secondary quality in a sign that better matches their personalities. Virgo and Pisces are both mutable signs, Cancer and Aries are both cardinal signs.
>> No. 8759
>>8737
True. I mean I'm a Gemini and there's aspects that fit me (Nervous, takes on multiple projects, easily bored, flighty, uncomfortable with deep emotion, etc) and ones that don't (loves travel, extrovert, adapts to change). Granted I'm just going by a few websites, I'm no expert.
>> No. 8761
This is admittedly why I don't believe in the zodiac at all. I like the symbolism, but you can't always shove the personality of everyone born in a certain month (or year, based on the Chinese one) all into the same personality traits. I feel the same way about crossovers- sometimes two characters from, say, TF2 work perfectly crossed over as characters from something else, but then everyone else is sort of shoehorned in.

Well, that and I'm an Aquarius and I've never felt like any of those traits fit me at all. I know a lot of Aquarius'es that don't.
>> No. 8765
>>8761

preach. the zodiac/astrology can be fun and good conversation and all, i don't doubt that. but in the end, all it is is a bunch of generalized traits that could apply to very many people. for example, saying one sign is 'headstrong'? billions of people are headstrong, you can't squeeze it into one sign. you also can't make up for generalizations by trying to go into specifics such as alignment of the celestial bodies or "houses". Chinese zodiac, regular zodiac--it's all interesting fun, but means absolutely squat...
>> No. 8776
Okay so, I've been watching a lot, I mean a LOT of dr.who, (I'm currently up to season 4's christmas episode), and now I have a new headcanon. The pyro is in fact an alien, he's an angry, war-faring alien who loves to burn things, needs to in fact, its how he feeds, he burns things up and absorbs the reaction the fire creates on a microscopic scale. He can also create small pockets of extremely volatile energy (the hadoken taunt)As for how he, er... it got where it is... (This is where it gets nerdy) it came to earth's forests and began burning things to a crisp, the doctor captured it, like he usually does, and gave it a place to live, in a secret war constantly raging on in a isolated time pocket in the 1950s-60s full of men who never die, ammunition that never runs out and therefore a food source which would never exhaust. He also trapped it in the suit, making it so it can never speak to its teammates about the nature of their existence, not that it'd ever want to.
>> No. 8828
File 131563397730.png - (52.10KB , 174x214 , Engineer_child_photo.png )
8828
er, not sure if this has been discussed already. also not sure if it counts as headcanon as it as actually canon.
the engineer from team fortress classic is the TF2 engineer's father.
>image related; an official valve picture of engie as a kid
>> No. 8829
>>8828
Is time travel involved? Because Team Fortress Classic is very "modern" compared to TF2 verse
>> No. 8830
>>8829
hm. that's true, but tfc came out in the 90s, and tf2 is late 60s/early 70s, so the time difference isn't that big. perhaps valve made TFC engineer TF2 engie's father because a) tfc came first, and b) an easter egg that team fortress veterans could notice..?
>> No. 8831
File 131563876490.png - (214.92KB , 352x278 , teamfortress1940s.png )
8831
Pic from the Engineer update showing the TFClassic team retconned to the 1940's or so. It's entirely possible TFC Engie is Dell's dad.
>> No. 8832
>>8829
TFC didn't have teleporters

I think it's really just a cute reference. I personally have it as my headcanon as well - If you look past the more futuristic style of TFC, there's nothing directly preventing TFC Engie from being TF2 Engie's daddyo.
>> No. 8881
I like to imagine that the Engineer developed body integrity identity disorder at some point, and whipped up the gunslinger so he could still work with one less forearm. Also, because Mad Science.
>> No. 8883
>>8832
Then perhaps an alternate dimension where Australium didn't exist?
Maybe Engie dad and co got accidentally or purposefully sent there.
>> No. 8945
The game actually takes place in a modern-day badass costume contest gone horribly wrong. Everyone was mislead into it being judged by Administration, but it's infact a fight-to-the-death costume contest. Team's were split based on overall color theme, hence why some items have a RED/BLU alternative.
>> No. 8953
The world is just split up into X amount of people who look and act identical, and Redmond controls exactly half, and Blutarch controls the other half. So there's two Tavish Degroots, two Jane Does, both Scout's Moms look and act identical, down to their thoughts. Whoever wins the war gets to euthanize the other half for being "inferior copies".
>> No. 8960
Based on the most recent news post, Sniper is a secret novelist. All the time he sits waiting for his target, he's plotting out stories, and he keeps all his writing in a box under his bed in his van. No-one will EVER see it.

(And he's not half bad.)
>> No. 8962
From the man who brought you "I Banged GLaDOS" and "Throwing Piss At People" comes the thrilling new sci-fi novel...
>> No. 8963
>>8960

Welp, thanks for the mental image that the Sniper posts to TF2chan.
>> No. 8964
>>8960
I just love that they included a link on how to make origami hats.
>> No. 8981
File 131674062341.jpg - (43.48KB , 457x372 , 2011-02-03-who-convention.jpg )
8981
I theorize that time travel is responcible for respawn. you see, when a mercenary is killed in battle, a version of them a split second before they are killed is taken an travels space time back to the respawn room, which is why the gibs just disappear, and why the mercenaries remember everything up until just before they were killed. Time travel.

This also leads to a joke theory about Demoknights. When playing a Demoknight, it is not actually just Demoman using a sword and shield, but rather his identical anncestor from Degroot Keep displaced in time.
>> No. 8983
just wondering if anybody has seen this yet:

http://kotaku.com/5843143/sniper-voice-actors-book-picks-up-plugs-from-team-fortress-2-reviewers
it made me laugh :)
also:
http://www.amazon.com/review/RDTT5A7VN9TS4/?ref=cm_cr_dp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1603818103&nodeID=283155&tag=&linkCode=&tag=gmgamzn-20
>> No. 8984
>>8983
forgot to add that for the last link my headcannon is now that either Heavy and Sniper are BFFs or they are totally fucking...
>> No. 8985
File 131677753260.png - (59.85KB , 122x125 , 127378199799s.png )
8985
http://www.amazon.com/review/R1A8FGHTMEQ9U/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1603818103&nodeID=&tag=&linkCode=#wasThisHelpful

This is by far my favorite one
>> No. 9000
I was playing a game of TF2 last night and there was an agreement that Soldier was "the kid in the helmet" growing up. He just sat there in the yard smashing his head against a shovel.

I usually don't laugh at things like this, but I couldn't help it.
>> No. 9005
  Some Pyro headcanon here.

If male, Pyro is quiet and somewhat geeky, but is also usually tense and stressed out. Lighting fires or being in the presence of fire puts him at ease. Sometime in his life, fire had some positive effect on Pyro and thus brought on his obsession with it. Appearance wise, Pyro's face is horribly scarred and half of it is burned off. One ear is completely gone and he has some trouble hearing. His voice is really raspy and scratchy.

If female, Pyro is like the girl in the video, but replacing the motive for starting fires from relieving stress to revenge.
>> No. 9012
The skeleton Medic has hanging up in his office?

It's the one he appropriated from its original owner.
>> No. 9088
>>9012
Mine too.

The picture has "Dr. [too small to read]", which I'm assuming is his birth name (which has since changed to hide from the cops) and "Deceased". He faked his own death. The open cabinets are a result of him rustling around and removing any incriminating documents before he fled the country.

Which makes me wonder- maybe he used "I need to be a doctor for civilians who need me" as an excuse for whatever reason he had for not working with the Nazis.
>> No. 9132
Pyro ships her teammates
>> No. 9701
  After seeing this video, with it in tandem with the iPod earbuds, I have Spy secretly dancing to dubstep so that he can practice moving around with stealth. Or just keeping his movements fluid so he can escape when he somehow fails to backstab an enemy. Something along those lines.

I can't get the image of Spy moon-walking past a doorway and Sniper, Scout and Engie just staring wondering what just happened.
>> No. 12250
  Scout's Mom is Carmen Sandiego. She settled down for a bit, cut her hair, died it black, and adopted five kids to give the illusion she'd been there a while. And ended up having three more kids on accident.

And that's part of the reason she and spy "get along" so well - because she knows him on more levels than one.

Shut up let me JUST HAVE THIS, okay QQ

Crappy slideshow included for those who don't know.
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