Quick update:

I just read the editorial, and I'm starting to think that somebody's trolling.

The author spends 2/3rds of it explaining what TF2 is, and then all it says about FC in comparison is, more or less: "it's still in Beta, of course it's going to look unfinished" and "Team Fortress 2 takes too long to download and the server connections are unstable".

Minus the FC stuff, the article is pretty much a love letter to TF2.

It´s already banned, which saddens me, because i ever get a good laugh out this.

Oop, sorry, tagging the comma at the end screwed up the URL, it should be http://fc.duowan.com/

did they remove child medic?

>>8856

I don't think it was "removed" so much as "never was there" because the poses of the revealed classes are identical to the teaser shadowed picture we saw in the old thread.

But then I have no idea if they'll introduce new classes, if ever. As far as I know the game is still in development.

http://fc.duowan.com/1108/176723457550.html

Pyromaniac clown with a heart for animals?
China, I am impress.

>>8872
Yeah. I ended up liking this a lot more than I expected (or wanted), too. Easily the best character they've made in the game, and a pretty touching short.

I wish he were in a better, more deserving game.

>>8872

will the cat be in the game though? and is it flame repellent? It would be fun to send it in as a last resort weapon. Like if you die, the cat gets in one last hit.

>>8858

Not all of the shadows are the same as the revealed characters, the golf scout silouete is still missing from the first one, not to mention the female shadow that was standing beside the heavy was still much shorter than the regular secretary sniper that has been revealed.

Is it sad i kinda want to actually play this?

>>8872

music from Rango.
WAAAAT.

>>8872
The circus guy abuses cats! Burn him!
I really did like this I admit.

Also, my RL name is in the Captcha. Neat.

Apparently, one of the alternate outfits for the Sniper is "Bunny Girl Policewoman": http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179952717880.html

(...I think. My brain is on the fritz right now and I can't tell if they're teasing a new class or it's just a reskin.)

>>8921
And she's a Sniper because...?

You can see in the poster there's a cowgirl Sniper as well. They might as well have a separate class if they're going to to make the Sniper a thematic stripper.

And now I'm angry with this game again.

> And she's a Sniper because...?

I read the article again--it's an introduction of a third set of alternate skins for all five classes.

They are:
* Wrestler (Fatman alt)
* Rockstar (Firebat alt)
* Pirate Captain (Rocket alt)
* Paratrooper (Striker alt)
* Bunnygirl Policewoman (Sniper alt)

I'm from Taiwan, so I'm not familiar with the terminology used in Mainland China. As far as I can tell, the phrase they use to describe the Sniper is not the general term for a woman on the force, but just the pretty ones used for photoshoots and such.

Text dump time!

* Background information - http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179920137997.html

Summary: In the twenty-first century, as the state of the world fell into chaos, a secret international team struck out to uncover the backstage conspiracy. Five years after their formation, they split into Red and Blue factions as a result of ideological differences.

* Character backgrounds: http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179920228589.html

I may come back and translate some of the additional biographical information, but for now, here is the stuff that's not already covered in previous press releases...

Cowgirl Deputy (Sniper alt)
Nationality: American
Bloodtype: AB
Star sign: Virgo
Age: Secret
Catch Phrase: You have the right to remain silent.
Interests: Solving problems with her handcuffs.

Fatman - is Chinese-American, living somewhere on the Gulf of Mexico

Former Wrestling (?) Champ (Fatman Alt)
[ translator note: Again, this may be a regional issue; in Taiwan, at least, there are separate terms for boxing and wrestling ]
Nationality: African American
Blood Type: O
Star sign: Taurus
Age: 35
Catch phrase: This is gold--solid gold, baby!
Interests: To act as bodyguards for female judges.

Firebat
Nationality: Mexico
Bloodtype: A
Star sign: Aquarius
Age: 23
Catch Phrase: I actually like things medium well.
Interests: Blowing glass and bird feeding.

Rockstar (Firebat alt)
Bloodtype: O
Star sign: Aquarius
Age: 23
Catch Phrase: Come see my show sometime.
Interests: The entire Yamaha [ tr note: doesn't "Yamaha" have actual Japanese kanji associated with it? Why transliterate it...? ] line of products be it instruments or motorcycles.

Pirate Captain (Rocket alt)
Nationality: Caribbean
Blood type: O
Star sign: Aries
Age: 34
Catch Phrase: Fighting blood's been running through my family's veins for generations!
Interests: Rum and cannonballs.

Paratrooper (Striker alt)
Nationality: Extra-terrestrial
Blood type: B
Star sign: Leo
Age: 27
Catch Phrase: It's important to look one's best even while killing people.
Interests: Landing in the best pose from above.

* Types of combat: http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179920347403.html

1. Territory control: Cap the middle point and hold it for 3 1/2 minutes to win.

2. Team combat: Whichever team has more members left or more points at the end of the round wins.

3. Annihiliation: Destroy all members of the opposition.

4. Cart pushing mode: The team that pushes the cart to the goal first, or pushes the furthest/has the most points when time runs out, wins.

* Maps: http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179920453620.html

Not going to translate the flavor text right now, but I will note in brackets what it most resembles.

Windmill Town [Battlefield: Heroes, ?]

Golden Farm [Team Fortress 2, Harvest]

Countryside Lumberyard [?]

Night Town [?]

Summer Farm [ TF2 Harvest again...it looks almost identical to the "Golden Farm", just with a different color scheme ]

Pharoah's Tomb [TF2, Egypt, though this one looks less a blatant copy and more just a resemblance in genernal aesthetic]

Temple Ruins [The only real similarity I see with Egypt other than the general resemblance is there's a mention of a "door", but this is used as a "Cart Pushing" map rather than CP]

* Who to blame for this mess: http://fc.duowan.com/1109/179920531587.html

Tony Horton - Anybody know who he is? He's credited as having been part of the Tomb Raider development team (dunno which one exactly, though).

>>8932
All my rage. All of it.

I think the saddest thing about all of this is that I kinda like the characters, and the animation in the shorts is solid. They're just packaged in a huge flaming pile of plagiarism.

Also the paratrooper is an alien, what?

>>8932
>I actually like things medium well.

That was kinda funny hehe

>>8932

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Horton

?

why the fuck would you go into battle wearing a mid-drift, miniskirt, and heels

  Promotional video starring Tony Horton.

(Someone overdub this with Gabe-N talking about TF2?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2XBH1sNwRw in case the embedder doesn't work

>>9027
What is this subpar shit I'm looking at?

>>8939
Agreed. The character designs are pretty solid and interesting-looking, but the fact it's a TF2 clone is a rather striking demerit.

For all the rest of it being ripoff shit, though, they did make one good decision - a hot office-lady in fuck-me pumps has definite style points over a grungy Aussie who pisses in jars.

>>9054

style wise, it's... interesting. Sniper may be a grungy guy who pisses in jars, but he is at least designed with sensibility. Those fuck me pumps/high heels? She won't be able to even run well with those, and the kick back from the rifle would be fun to handle in those as well...

I think someone tore apart her impractical attire in the last thread, so i'll just shut up

>>9055
Well from what I saw in her "Meet" and gameplay videos, she's not meant to do much running anymore than "our" Sniper is.

And besides, if you think arguing "realism" in a game like FC/TF2 will get anywhere, you're only fooling yourself.

Wow. This is just... really...

I honestly couldn't believe the sheer amount of shameless plagiarism what I was witnessing during those gameplay vids - particularly the instances pointed out by this player: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKS_QhtaWIA&feature=youtu.be

>>8939

I think by 'extraterrestrial' they were implying he's from "above the Earth" or some weird shit like that, seeing how he's a Paratrooper and all. Can't really be sure though...

>>9058
You, sir, are an imbecile. That is all.

>>9059
Thank you so much for that video! It was really great! Valve may not be able to do anything about this crappy game (at least not in the form of lawsuits and what-not), but the true fans of TF2, no matter what their nationality, will raise such a shitstorm, the creators will HAVE to shut down this abomination! Hopefully!

Even though FC Sniper makes me want to cry, there is something about her outfit that appeals to me, so I can't completely hate her. If she buttoned up a bit more and took off those fucking heels then I'd be all over her.

I like the idea that she's a secretary, even though this is China we're talking about, so in hindsight is actually kind of sad. Also the way the go about like it's a surprise that women can fight is really annoying. In the end, the characters are the only reason why I'm still watching these updates, but even then the characters lack polish, in my opinion.

>>9058

This game is called 'final combat'. Meaning that there will be fighting within this game. This also usually means that there will be running around. It would be hard as hell to run around in those high heels and mini skirt. Right now, her entire purpose is just eye candy.

In the line-up, she looks like she walked into the wrong photoshoot. You have these larger men with more battle like attire, then you have this little lost secretary. I'm actually going to blame the color scheme on this.

This is red team, yes? The only part of her clothing that annouces her alligence is her belt, gloves and shoes. Her skirt is also a bluish-purple color. This would make it hard to see at first glance which side she would belong to.

>>9066
Ayup

>>9066

I don't see how this is any different from the Spy running around in a suit and dress shoes.

>>9072
Agreed. realism can't always mesh with gameplay, and usually, it's the former that gets cut back in favor of the latter. If you nitpick over realistic shoes in a game where a Frenchman can vanish into thin air and disguise himself as a giant Russian by using a cigarette case and a paper mask, and hitting a toolbox with a wrench the size of a desklamp makes a vending-machine pop out of it... then you've got your priorities muddled.

>>9072

It's different. Where the spy can at least run easily and even fight in the suit adn dress shoes. The FC sniper on the other hand, will have a damn hard time being able to either. This is a figgting game. Running and fighitng will generally be invovled.

>>9073

that is not the same as shoes that people can actually run in. Spy being able to vanish and disguise himself (I think that it's a hologram and he uses the masks to show who he is disgising as to his teamates) is more about the gadgets he has. It is shown in the workd of tf2 that they have many machines and things that do some really strange stuff.

Now, unless the laws of physics where turned on their heads in the FC world, those heels are going to break at some point, really messing up her ankles

I once saw a girl sprint in heels perfectly fine. I think she may have been a stripper, but she was still running in them.

>>9077
We're not saying its impossible to run in heels, if you really need to Im sure you could, because you CAN run in heels...

For SHORT bursts. On rare occassions.
Heels are not made to have someone running on them, full force, for hours on end, day after day. They WILL break and their ankles WILL be fucked up.

Now shut and and try wearing heels for a couple hours before you open your mouth, dude.

>>9077
Yeah. That woman in the middle has so healthy looking ankles.

>>9072
Last I checked, Spy wasn't running around on three-and-a-half inch heels, that's the difference. They may be dress shoes, but at least they are built to be able to move on. And while a suit may be more constricting than some of the classes' work clothes-style uniforms, it's not remotely the same as wearing a tight miniskirt in terms of hampering one's ability to run. Hugely different.

When it comes to femspy characters I can understand outfit choices that are a bit more out there. Although by out there, I mean normal skirts that go to midthigh and maybe a pair of kitten heels.
Spy outfits, to me, are meant to be a bit on the impractical side. Who wears a suit in the desert, anyway? Spies sacrifice a bit of comfort in lieu of some style.
However, I think I could only see femspies ever doing such a thing. If the lady sniper from FC had (much) smaller heels and an outfit that wasn't so short or skintight I could see it working with the excuse that she doesn't really go running around in combat.

>>9078
You said it yourself...
>For SHORT bursts. On rare occasions.

Which fits the "camper" playstyle of a Sniper quite well. They don't move very often, and when they do, it's quickly and not very far.

Now if our little lady were, say, a Scout or some other high-mobility in-the-thick-of-things class, then yeah, you might have a case.

But Sniper is anything but high-mobility. They're basically a slow-firing-rate Sentry Gun with taunts. The class is meant to stay in one place for extended periods & attack at range, not run around in the middle of the battlefield.

Heels might not be practical for the other classes' normal combat style, but, in this case, since it's not their normal style, they're not exactly impractical either. Unlikely, yes, but that's about it.

>>9083
Confirmed for never having worn heels.

Even small heels put strain on the ankles and lessen stability. They simply hurt after being worn for a while, even if you aren't doing tons of running (they usually hurt me even if I'm doing no running, but simply walking). Heeled shoes are generally tighter and more likely to cause blisters. In a warzone, you want the most comfortable and reliable shoes possible. If you need to suddenly move or run, it wouldn't make any sense to be wearing heels, now would it? Also, climbing stairs in heels is hard enough, but running up stairs in them would be a nightmare.
This doesn't even take into the account running over dangerous, or even simply rocky terrain. Heels are best on hard, flat ground, and I guarantee you won't find too much of that laying around.

maybe you guys just buy shitty shoes

>>9081
Exactly.

As for the whole realism vs. unrealism, Tf2 is excused because it's written off as being alternate universe advanced technology. Unless Sniper has advanced technology built into her heels for the purpose of not breaking bother her legs in combat, I think we have a point.

>>9084
I just wanted to make it clear that by "short bursts on rare occasions," I mean more along the lines of "maybe run two or three feet every couple of months, in heels." Not every single day, for yards at a time.

Im all for agreeing with Butterscotch here.

I still say arguing realism in context of this game/these games is silly.

Yeah, she wears heels. So what. It's a visual aesthetic-license thing. Ridiculous thing to focus on while disregarding more-or-less everything else.

Feh, whatever. At least she doesn't piss in jars, and throw them at people while cheering at their disgusting humiliation, like a certain lunatic who lives in a van...

... shit, that's probably someone's fetish - I grimly await the inevitable fanart of this.

I'm sorry fellas, I know heels suck in real life, but in the context of cartoony war simulators where Soldiers can see out of oversized helmets, Snipers put laser sights on rifles with perfectly good zeroed scopes and Scouts can jump off of nothing in mid-air just from being hopped up on caffeine alone, running around in heels is just par for the course.

>>9091

I wouldn't justify being female and scantily clad as genuine characterization, tbh. This chick hardly has much of a personality to begin with; she's apparently some kind of undercover cop with an affinity for handcuffs as mentioned by her profile, but... there's not a whole lot else to go off on.

I personally prefer "our" Sniper. He's definitely flawed, sure - but in turn it makes him much more "human" and easier to relate to simply because of them. The same would go for the other characters as well.

>>9092
Nice to see somebody gets where I'm coming from.

>>9092

You guys are COMPLETELY missing the point.

Yes, TF2 takes a lot of liberties with realism, but at the end of the day, you have NINE MEN who each look like they could hold their own in a fight. All of their clothing is practical and comfy since THEY'RE GOING TO BE RUNNING AROUND IN THE HOT, BAKING SUN ALL DAY.

The only exception I can offer is, yes, Soldier with his helmet, and the fact that a few of them wear the wrong sorts of clothes for the weather (example, Medic with his long sleeves out in the hot sun, and Scout in a T-shirt when there's snow on the ground) but still, that's TINY compared to how horrendous examples of FC's femsniper. This woman is a shambling example of a wreck on the battlefield just WAITING to happen. The fucking stilettos, the tight, short skirt, the cleavage... FUCK THAT. Give her a fucking pair of sweats and a T-shirt! Even Spy, in his fancy ol' suit, still looks like he retains most of his maneuverability.

When you take away the guns and weapons of the TF2 crew, they still look like they could kick your ass. This woman looks like she'd squeal about breaking her nail trying to open a jar of pickles. THAT is the reason we have such a big problem with her.

And if you STILL can't understand our issues after I have calmly clearly spelled it out for you, then I have NOTHING more to say. Other than, maybe, this isn't the site for you.

Image unrelated, but I felt a need to put SOMETHING up to dispell some of the SRSNESS I just dumped everywhere.

>>9095
This.

Can we now stop arguing about this?

>>9095

Suppose we'll have to agree to disagree then. No hard feelings though.

>>9077
Can I just let it be known that I HAVE run in high heels before, and had no problems with.

My fuzzy pink hooker boots have about an inch and a half heel on them, and I can run in them no problem, because I run on my toes like everyone does. Look at someone's footprints in the sand when they run. All done on their toes. My heel doesn't even touch the ground.

It can be done. I'm not saying they're necessarily a practical choice for a battlefield, or that this is a good design for a character that's anything other than a stripper, but it CAN be done.

I think we can agree that the secretary outfit is unrealistic for a battlefield, but this IS a video game, so arguing about the plausibly of running in heels in pointless. That's like arguing whether the CLOWN can run around in CLOWN SHOES (I don't know whether he actually does, but hopefully you see my point).

I'm just as tired of the portrayal of women in a majority of video games as some of you folks here, but since this game we are discussing is a blatant rip-off, we should already be expecting shit.

So let's quit the shoe discussion and get back on topic.

>>9100
We were discussing shoes so long I kinda forgot what the topic was.

Shoes are the new hats

>>9102
I want to see a Spy version on this now.
But with a stiletto.

>>9105
Someone. Anyone.

>>9105
>>9108

<- Would probably be something like this, I reckon.

>>9119
Fuck. Yes.

No interesting flavor text this time, IMHO, so I'm just going to link to all of the classes' stats.

Firebat, the close-combat hero: http://fc.duowan.com/1110/181851123724.html

Sniper, the support-type: http://fc.duowan.com/1110/181851395062.html

Fatman, defensive type: http://fc.duowan.com/1110/181851520404.html

Striker, attacking type: http://fc.duowan.com/1110/181861295876.html

Rocket, attacking type: http://fc.duowan.com/1110/181861464050.html

Man, the balance in this game seems kind of messed up, especially with that Striker around. Who would want to play any other class?

>>9224
Sniper has a tazer.

>>9247
Sniper has never been known for melee skills in TF2, either.

So...instead of a Medic, Engineer, Demoman, or Spy, they have reskins of the Striker, Rocket, Fatman, Sniper, and Firebat.

Perfect sense.
Though, I could just be confused, anyone able to make out what all of the classes are?

Perfect sense.

>>9294

Oops.
Didn't password it either, so I can't delete it...

has anyone realized that the even the clown (that seems by far the best character they "made") has unrealistic wardrobe and his MAKE UP WOULD MELT!? that's why pyro has a fuckin GAS MASK

and I totally agree with what's been said about femSniper/heelslollol

>>9311
I fully support the idea of burning/melting clowns. Creepy fuckers.

>>9336
ikr? and wtf why would the circus guy abuse a cat?
I mean, I know it's china and they EAT cats&dogs but...why whip it. wtf

DICKS EVERYWHERE

>>9337
Well he was holding a bottle, I assumed he was drunk. Maybe he thought they were lions? Maybe he's an asshole. I just saw a video of a cat that had been shot with an arrow (He's ok now though!). Unrealistic or not, I actually really liked the firebat. The Sniper video was kinda interesting aside from the outfit and such. I laughed at least.

>>9342
fireblast is so...stupid. wouldn't his make up melt with the flamethrower? i mean, that's why pyro has a gasmask.
and femsniepr is a joke. I love how she has such thin lil arms buit can hold a sniper GUN(lolol final derp)

>>9351
Eh I know it's stupid, I just liked the video.

>>9353

anyone know if valve done anything?

http://fc.duowan.com/1110/183676366325.html

Final Combat is planning to add an RTS/FPS style map a la DOTA.

And Sniper's getting yet another sexy reskin. (I'm guessing the other classes are as well, but only the Sniper's being teased because she's the lone girl.)

Does Valve even know that this exists, or am i just plain stupid?

>>9358
>>9829
Even if Valve decides to take action, Chinese copyright law prevents foreigners from suing Chinese entities for infringement (which explains the huge amount of rip off merchandise that comes from China).

Valve is probably well aware of it by now, but is unable to do much about it. I doubt there'll be any public 'statement' about it, that would just fan the flames, so to speak.

>>9840
Or more likely, valve doesn't give a shit. TF2 is already fairly popular in China (for a western game) and free to play to boot. There's nothing final combat can do to compete with tf2, and suing a chinese company like that is never worth it - they didn't have any money to begin with. Chinese businesses aren't really the same as american ones, it was probably just a couple of kids who wanted to make a game and got some attention. I'm going to guess even the guy doing the tomb raider plug was a white actor that they hired.

>>9842
nope. valve is so fucking angry. and steam is blocked in some chinese areas, so yeah

>>9845
>valve is so fucking angry
And you know this how?

>>9845
Yeah, I would like some confirmation that Valve is "fucking" angry, that doesn't to fit the company personality at all. Valve owns some of the most profitable and respected IPs in the industry, I doubt they would be furious over a few kids with no assets or corporate backing copying them. Steam being banned in some areas (which ones? I've traveled extensively in china and I did not notice this) is irrelevant anyway, those people weren't part of their market and they won't lose a cent off people that were never playing their game in the first place and never would be able to.

i hope to god valve sneaks this in as an outright jab to the eye of the knock-off

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=959

>>9881
i would buy that hat and paint it Pink as Hell.

>>9881
at first I thought this was funny, but this is seriously a really ugly hat.
besides, finalcombat already claims that they are NOT copying tf2 in any way; by doing this they would turn the game against valve.

>>9917
>claims that they are NOT copying tf2 in any way
>Final Combat
>Not copying TF2

>>9917

nope, definetly not copying the style or shaders at all. Not copying the layout of their maps, especially the one the STRONGLY reminds me of harvest. Not Blatenly copying some of the weapons, like the sticky launcher, or characters. The [strike] soldier [/strike] rocket is a very orrigional charactor. They also didn't blatenly use a similar layout for the HUD. Also didn't ear the Anouncer's voice clips from some of the game play videos.

Definetly not copying tf2 at alllll.

>>9917
282 people disagree.

>>9962
implying 282 people decide that

>>9984
>implying improperly
>implying one person has more say than almost 300
>implying you were even remotely correct in your first post

>>9986
dude, it's just an opinion.
calm yo tities

>>9987
>its just an opinion
How is claiming FC didnt copy TF2 at all an opinion?

>>9988
lol what? learn to read.

Behave, children. Keep bickering and you're asses will be banned.

I will say, though, that engie's opinion is flawed. A thief can claim that they didn't steal something, but their word doesn't mean shit against strong evidence, which I think we can all agree that there's some strong evidence. But if you want to ignore all the evidence and take their word for it, despite China having a serious problem with bootlegging IPs, be my guest. Just as it's your opinion that they're innocent, my opinion is that's a stupid idea to believe with the evidence being presented. This isn't a matter of everyone believes it so it must be true. It's a matter of look at FC gameplay and that if not directly ripped from TF2, TF2 is it's influence.

Captcha: Ifpossi Retardation. You said it, Captcha.

Anyway, new promotional content: cosplay and blather about the Striker.

http://fc.duowan.com/1111/184786232184.html

Of course, the dude doesn't look remotely French, but personally I still think he's kinda hot.

Translation later, maybe.

Not translating the whole thing, just the parts that I thought were funny...

"We [the Striker's three skins so far: Original!Striker, Paratrooper, and Navy Seal] have the same view on love 'stab each other and then count our wounds'..."

"It's not bad being single, but three bachelors hanging out together all the time cause people's minds to go into the gutter. Once the three of us went to a bar for a drink, enjoying our normal small talk, and then this other cadet comes staggering over to us. None of us thought much of him until he opened his mouth and asked: 'you officers, I hear you don't have girlfriends, hope you aren't gay, haha.' Though I knew he was drunk, the rage boiled within me, and I punched him to the ground, drawing my dagger out and was ready to go to town on him when the Paratrooper and Seal stopped me from creating a tragedy. After that, the cadet in question couldn't avoid me fast enough every time he saw me. Am I that terrifying? Sigh."

Artists and writers, you know what to do.

>>9224
what is that thing firebat uses as a melee weapon? a broken pair of hedge-clippers?

>>10286

According to the flavor text, it's supposed to be "electrician's pliers".

The server got slow all of a sudden, so I can't read this myself, but apparently the game is in open beta now.

fc.duowan.com/1111/186088900232.html

Hey, the old official Xunlei site is back! Keep your finger's crossed, folks.

http://fc.xunlei.com/ziliao/

Some updated information since they've introduced new game modes.

http://fc.xunlei.com/ziliao/moshijieshao.shtml

1. Territory control: Cap the middle point and hold it for 3 1/2 minutes to win.

2. Team combat: Whichever team has more members left or more points at the end of the round wins.

3. Annihiliation: Destroy all members of the opposition.

4. Cart pushing mode: The team that pushes the cart to the goal first, or pushes the furthest/has the most points when time runs out, wins.

5. Knife Combat Mode
All classes are restricted to their melee weapons; whoever eliminates the other team first, or scores more kills when time runs out, wins.

6. Boss battle mode
A random player is designated as the "boss". Every time the "boss" takes extra damage, they drop gold coins (used to purchase things in the store, one assumes). If the players can kill the boss character in the time limit, they win; otherwise, the boss character wins by staying alive or killing all opponents.

Character backgrounds of all of the alternate skins so far, retranslating from scratch because all of this is pure comedy.

http://fc.xunlei.com/ziliao/juesebeijing.shtml

Sniper Alt: Succubus Teacher
*Nationality: Polish [translator note: here the original text uses "gender" instead of "*Nationality" to describe the characters]
*Blood Type: B
*Star Sign: Pisces
*Age: Eternally 16
*Catch Phrase: Don't you dare show any weakness in front of me!
*Loves: Fantasies, classical music, looking down on heavy metal
Hailing from a prestigious Polish family of educators, she was raised to be the family's newest *Star of the teaching world, but because of an unspeakable secret, she ran away from home at 16. Nobody knows who recommended her, but she joined the Final Combat team and quickly became an instructor. Few of the team's *Star players have escaped screaming under her whip, including a certain French fellow who dares to claim that he kills all those more handsome than himself.

Sniper Alt: Cowgirl Policewoman
*Nationality: American
*Blood Type: AB
*Star Sign: Virgo
*Age: Secret
*Catch Phrase: You have the right to remain silent.
*Loves: To solve all problems with her handcuffs.
Absolute royalty, precise, strict, and is demanding of her teammates to the point of near perversion, [the Policeman] has the temper of a queen and the icy control to go with it. She likes all sorts of outfits, costumes, and comes across as overbearing, but here's a secret: her bedroom is quite moe [translator note: they really are using the kanji for moe] and innocent, a room fit for a princess.

Sniper Alt: Queen of the Office Ladies
*Nationality: American [literally: Wall Street Stock Trader]
*Blood Type: B
*Star Sign: Scorpio
*Age: Secret
*Catchphrase: I can kill men with a single glance.
*Loves: Has a love-hate relationship with name brands.
The Queen is the coldest, yet sexiest, member of the Final Combat team. She has a devilish figure and the temperament of a queen, but is also monstrously lethal. Name brands cause her to go into convulsions to the point of fantasizing that she kills all of the other women who make a grab for [her favorite product] the same way she kills all men around her with a single glance.

Fatman Alt: Riot Policeman
*Nationality: American [literally: Hot-*Blooded New York King Kong]
*Blood type: B
*Star Sign: Aries
*Age: 36
*Catchphrase: Aha! Let me trade a big hug for a kiss!
*Loves: Whistling, making faces
He was able to make the head of the riot police not just because of his massive size, but his attentiveness to details, hot-*Bloodedness, and strong sense of justice is his true draw. Unfortunately, his sucess on the job is little confort to any heartbreak he suffered; at the end of the day, he'll always go to the roof of his New York headquarters alone, fondly remembering the time the Office Lady shot him during a riot.

Fatman Alt: Gulf of Mexico Fisherman
*Nationality: American-Chinese
*Blood type: A
*Star Sigh: Cancer
*Age: 35
*Catchphrase: Want to turn into a sieve? [translator note: alternate translation suggested by another reader]
*Loves: Playing with children.
Because he never stops eating all day, he seems big and dumb, but [this gentle giant] *Loves to protect the kids, is super popular with the ladies, and is a member of all sorts of conservation organizations. Always trying to lose weight and control his sweets intake, he is always wrapped in weights. He also is terrified of ghost stories. Because the severe oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico made him unable to sell fish for a living, he joined the Final Combat team to find the truth of the spill.

(continued on next post)

Fatman Alt: Former American Wrestling Champ
*Nationality: African American [literally: black chocolate muscle man]
*Blood Type: O
*Star Sign: Taurus
*Age: 35
*Catch Phrase: This is a gold medal--solid gold!
*Loves: To be the female judge's bodyguard.
You can't say that this big black fellow with the championship gold belt around his waist his just bragging: he really was champion once, but he only won by default because the original champion seriously injured his ear. After he retired, he *Started a weapons store, specializing in banned heavy weapons.

Firebat Alt: Racer
*Nationality: Mysterious Youngster of Causeway Bay
*Blood Type: AB
*Star Sign: Sagittarius
*Age: 29
*Catch Phrase: Hot wings, my favorite kind of fine dining!
*Loves: Racing, barbecues
In seeking speed and thrills, he met the rocker during an international race in which the latter made an appearance. Discovering a mutual love of barbecue, the two of them often get together to show off their skills. By fate, the coincidentally disocvered each other to be members of the Final Combat Team, bringing them closer together. Though their friendship is purely platonic, other people often think they're gay [for each other].

Firebat Alt: Spanish Clown
*Nationality: Honest and Innocent Man
*Blood Type: A
*Star Sign: Aquarius
*Age: 23
*Catch Phrase: I actually like things medium well.
*Loves: Gladd blowing and bird feeding.
Nobody knows the clown's true name, nor has anyone seen his face. As the Final Combat team's king of the dancing flames, his origins are a mystery. All anyone remembers is seeing him in the neighborhood's circus selling his acrobatics and eternally smiling mask.

Firebat Alt: Rock*Star
*Nationality: Mischievous Genius
*Blood Type: O
*Star Sign: Aquarius
*Age: 23
*Catch Phrase: Someday I'll take you to my concert
*Loves: The entire Yamaha line of products, whether that be acoustic equipment or motorcycles
No one is certain whether he's the champion Michael Jacson imitator or the lead singer of some underground band. His talent is pranks and making a scene, *Loves all sorts of showy styles, *Loves hogging the microphone, and is a fan of heavy metal. [He is, however,] terrified of his female fans getting too close.

Rocket Alt: Aviator Captain
*Nationality: English
*Blood Type: A
*Star Sign: Taurus
*Age: 37
*Catch Phrase: The feeling of firing the guns on a plane is the best in the world; too bad you'll never experience it.
*Loves: Diving, cuban cigars
While he lacks a gentlemanly demeanor, he's even pickier than one, smoking only cuban cigars. He's just as invested in the battle: once, he was shot down in close-range air combat, but he pulled out his Gustav rocket launcher and destroyed the enemy fighter before calmly putting on his parachute and ejecting from his plane.

Rocket Alt: Firefighter
*Nationality: American
*Blood Type: O
*Star Sign: Aries
*Age: 34
*Catch Phrase: We fight with our guns and play with our lives! [translator note: this is the closest translation I can get out of what he's saying, it doesn't make sense in English otherwise]
*Loves: Alcohol and football
An alcoholic hidden in the ranks of his firefighting squad, he *Loves playing it cool and hiding his eyes with his hat. His killer technique: to ride the top of his firetruck's ladder and shoot rockets from above. Weakness: allergic to pepper. He was born to charge ahead of the group, so he always takes point without anyone following behind. *Loves explosives, heroics, and being brave; hates gay people.

Rocket Alt: Pirate Captain
*Nationality: Carribean
*Blood Type: O
*Star Sign: Aries
*Age: 34
*Catch Phrase: Charging ahead runs in the *Blood of my ancestors!
*Loves: Rum and cannonballs
This Final Combat team member has a long family tradition: it's said that his ancestor's ancestors were already the iron core of the Final Combat Organization. He *Loves to wear the captain's hat and diagonal belt passed down from his family and to act like a sailor, bragging about his own personal exploits. He hates it when people reveal that his false leg is a device of modern medicine.

Striker Alt: Navy Seal
*Nationality: Mohican [translator note: the original added a "Sunshine" in front of that for some inexplicable reason]
*Blood Type: A
*Star Sign: Virgo [translator note: interestingly, the text specifies "male virgin"]
*Age: 23
*Catch Phrase: Pormise me that you'll be happy!
Though this seal is still young, but years of leading ambushes has lead him in and out of death, such that he is more appreciative of a wondeful, happy life. Always hoping to pass this sentiment onto others, laughter follows him wherever he goes, and he is always as attention-grabbing as his hair.

Striker Alt: Special Forces
*Nationality: French Gentleman
*Blood Type: O
*Star Sign: Libra
*Age: 27
*Catch Phrase: Kill all men more handsome and skinner than me! (Turn killing into an art form)
*Loves: Oil paintings and French cuisine
The infamous playboy former captain of the French Special Forces, this Colonel sees all men better looking than himself to be a thorn in his side. He likes to peel apples with his combat knife and believes bananas to be an intolerable extra-terrestrial object. His current wish is to use his MK18 assault rifle and the Deser Eagle he's nicknamed "Bluebird" to kill all men more handsome than he.

Striker Alt: Super Paratrooper
*Nationality: "Extra Terrestrial" Heartthrob
*Blood Type: B
*Star Sign: Leo
*Age: 27
*Catch Phrase: It's important to set an example when destroying the enemy.
*Loves: Landing in his best pose when landing.
Formerly a central character in the United States Airforce's 101st Airborne Unit, he believes that there's no better way to conquer the enemy than to wear the best equipment and use the most flamboyant techniques.

Wait, let me get this straight. They give each class a ton of different skins?

The original point of TF2 character design was to make sure each class was identifiable as a silhouette. They haven't learned a thing.