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No. 12756
Hey guys, I just came back from a little 6 years long stay in China, and I got the chance to play this pile of shit for the past few months.
I've seen some people mention the shop system in that game: Yes, you DO have to pay all the time to get better stats, like more life, more damage, etc, and they go away after a while. So, much like in every single context in China, the more money you give the better the service.
Now, on to the game itself.
It's the most pathetic, half-assed ripoff I've ever played (and trust me, they have ripoffs for every game that's famous). When I say half-assed, I mean it, because they really put no effort whatsoever into making it a little more original. You've seen the videos, you know what I'm talking about. The character design is pretty much identical, except for the 2 female characters (the sniper's tits have jigglebones and she has some really kinky and revealing skins you can buy - Funny for a country so stuck up when it comes to sex that they had to ban every single source of porn).
The striker (not the scout - the scout is yet another upcoming class) is a gigantic pile of shit. He's the generic FPS guy, he runs a little faster than other classes, can aim with the iron sight, and his headshots do more damage. His grenades are utterly useless, and his weapons are not any better. He feels so out of place.
The Soldier... Well he's the soldier/fireman. Nothing different except the lack of rocketjump. His Buff Banner has been replaced with a drum, which works exactly the same way.
The Pyro needs to be nerfed big time. His attack is powerful, the range is ridiculously long (especially with those hitboxes I shall talk about), and the flames are blinding. If a pyro gets close to you, you know you're fucked.
The demoman is absent, because they probably are trying to find which colors to repaint his skin with.
The Heavy is exactly the same, but with a baby's milk bottle instead of the sandwich. He CAN JUMP WHEN SPINNING AND SHOOTING, so he's a fucking lightning bolt shooting everything in sight. He's simply the god of the game just because of this. Seriously, I ended up with ridiculously high scores. He's just a really easy to use acrobat Heavy Weapons Guy. But again, the hit detection is awful, so when you hit, instead of having each bullet recorded, it goes by waves of 5 or something. It's hard to explain, but basicly instead of going 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 it goes 5 5 5. Like a slow gear. It feels clunky.
The engineer isn't present yet, because they're probably trying to find a way to suck their own dicks.
The medic is the sorriest of the whole bunch. She's a medic, but with a crossbow that won't even heal instead of a syringe gun for some fucking reason. But it deals enough damage to not be called a pile of shit. The medigun... wow... the fucking medigun... Not only does it look like fucking NOTHING - no, more like a 3 year old drew a gun, and xunlei's boss, being his dad, forced his subordinates to put it in the game - but it is THE ABSOLUTE WORSE HEALING METHOD I'VE EVER LAID MY HANDS UPON. IT IS SO PATHETIC only capslock can be used to describe it. It takes forever for it to lock on its target. It usually fucks up and gets a seizure. And when it locks on, the range is tiny, and the beam barely bends. Try to not just hug your target's back, and you won't manage to heal much. Speaking of which, it BARELY HEALS. It is so fucking slow you had better wait for the wounds to heal themselves by natural means. And when you finally manage to get an ubercharge (here cleverly called ubercharge, but in Chinese, so big difference, amirite?), you right click, and you get to live the 5 least impressive seconds of your life. The uber looks exactly the same as in TF2, but without the same effects that let you FEEL ubered, and man is it short. You right click, and almost immediately your target is back to normal. It is just saddening. It's a tease. It is so short you can almost hear the gun say that has never happened to him before. But it's ok because Chinese people never play Medic anyway, nor as a team either.
And the sniper... Ah...
She's a sniper. But her SMG is the scout and engi's pistol (like, exactly the same). She sucks because when you aim, the mouse doesn't get reduced sensivity. So you end up missing all the time because the hit detection fucking sucks, and your aiming cross keeps on flying all over the place. But as I said, she has rocking tits on which they obviously spent a LOT of time.
And of course the Spy isn't here yet, they're probably wondering if he shouldn't be Mexican and named the "Observing Butterfly" or something like that.
Now, the game has almost all of TF2's game modes: KOTH, CP, PL, some kind of Arena but with team points combined, knife fights, but they almost always take place on the same reskinned version of koth_harvest (they got like 3-4 versions of that map). No CTF. Oh, and they have the giant robot fight.
Yeah, giant robot fight. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Well guess what, they managed to fuck it up. Playing as the robot is fun, you're just an awesome killing machine. But the humans don't get a head start, so those who spawn next to the robot basically wait for the end of the round right from the beginning. Which brings me to my main complaint: There are 2 spots in which you can not die as a human. In one of them it is possible to die, but it takes both luck and time. In the other spot, you get health and ammo, and as long as you're not fucking retarded, you can make a round last for a loooong time, if not forever. You just can't die there. If the robot attacks from one side, move to the other side of the door, and by the time he tries to walk around the building, you're long gone.
Other than that, it's pretty straightforward, kinda fun during the first couple of games. But it quickly becomes boring.
I forgot to mention the game contains no violence whatsoever, because of censorship in China. You know, anything that's remotely violent becomes child-friendly. In an online gaming system where only adults can play, by registering their IDs. Pretty funny.
And again, the hit detection is fucking awful.
The shop, well I've already covered that: You pay you win. You can also buy some fuck-ugly accessories, or, again, hot clothes for the sniper.
The game is full of bugs, it's really unbalanced, you can see it was rushed because they didn't want to lose potential Chinese customers once TF2 became free.
Ooooh important point I'm throwing in here that I remembered before posting this: The voice acting.
Basicly, it's awful. The voices sound awkward, and they usually share some voice samples. And the voices are activated by yourself, no automatic "thank you" or "stand on point" or shit like that. They sound like any other Chinese voice overs: The chick that does the voice for every single Chinese dub ever, the "tough dumbass", and the young guy. they're hard to differentiate, but sound like shit anyway.
But I'll be honest with you guys, there were 2 positive points:
The first one is the colors. They didn't have a theme for the game, nor a backstory to fit that theme, AND they didn't do all the "easy to spot, easy to identify" procedure Valve did when designing the classes and world so that everything is clear, BUT they used bright, happy colors most of the time. Sometimes the screen was just an unintelligible mess because of that, but I didn't look THAT bad (the models were awful, but the colorful environment was ok).
The second good point was the menu's music. An upbeat, rock-ish music, that sounds quite nice.
But that's it.
If you have any questions, ask away. But just know that the game is a gigantic, steaming pile of shit. It's literally just an inferior Team Fortress 2, and playing it just fueled my rage, for Chinese companies truly have no shame.
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