>>12000
12k GET? Also,I want that book.

Nice GET, OP.

So here i am!

Lol What, so...sorry the spam, but looks like my ban vanished, hehe.

>>12005
yeah,sorry, we thought you were this other dude when you weren't.

Woke up this morning to realize that, not only did I leave both my binder and my wallet at my boyfriend's house, but that I only had enough gas to get me TO school (or boyfriend's house, same distance) but not back. So I just went and hung out with him for a little while.

Not sure why, but something is telling me that I just really wasn't supposed to go to school today. It probably sounds like a really dumb attempt at wishful thinking, but... I can't shake the feeling that something was trying to stop me from going.

Oh well, didn't miss anything important anyway!

So I'm moving to Tennissee, because my father has gifted me a house.

You know what this means?

SELL EVERYTHING ON CRAIGSLIST!

>>12006


Excuse me, Eudevier, but i can't post in the adult fanfiction board because apparently i am still banned. Can you help me?

>>12011
wait a second, arn't you 15? how'd you get unbanned?!

>>12012

But you just said you realized your mistake...

You said it >>12006

Oh lord. This is minding my fuck.

(What am i suppose to do? Should i appeal anyway?)

>>12005
>>12006
>>12011
>>12012
>>12014

Oh, God, this is hilarious and depressing at the same time.

Stay strong, Error.

>>12014
http://watch-me-ris3.tumblr.com/ is this your tumblr?
I thought for a second you were someone else. you're not. the person I was thinking of was another guy.

>>12016


So, this is one of the mistakes. I don't own a tumblr, hehe. In terms of social network, i have my steam account and Google+(or some shit, i don't use it).

I suppose you see in it i'm not underage, though: my account is from past year, when the Google+ wasn't allowing underaged people.

So, i guess everything is settled down right? Can i now post at the Adult Boards, pretty please?

(Btw, the mistake was fuckin' funny lol. I mean...the dude whom you guys mistook me is pretty weird, hehe.)

>>12018
it should let you post now.

>>12015
>not posting anymore
>clearly still here
>suddenly posting just to stir shit

stay classy TR

>>12019


Positive, i just did it. Thank ya for the help!

>>12021
Who said I wasn't posting anymore? I never said that. Sure, I may not be posting as much, but then again, who is? I'm still amused by the fact that I've done nothing to you - hardly even acknowledged your existence, and yet you feel a need to give a snarky reply to every little thing I say.

stay classy? Never planned on stopping. Looks like you could take a note, though.

>>12023
>Who said I wasn't posting anymore? I never said that.
i can make my own observations
>Sure, I may not be posting as much, but then again, who is?
I am
>I'm still amused by the fact that I've done nothing to you - hardly even acknowledged your existence
thats the thing about posting i public, you dont have to acknowledge someone for them to read what you post
>and yet you feel a need to give a snarky reply to every little thing I say.

>1 post
>everything

>stay classy? Never planned on stopping. Looks like you could take a note, though.
thou doth protest too much, mehtinks

>>12023
eh,it's just his personality. he does it to me as well sometimes in steam chat.
BACK TO FEELS:
Mom has tomorrow off instead of Sunday, so after work today we're gonna have her dinner(I'm making steak,bakers,corn, and croissants)
also custom'd a card where the front has a sleeping mom on a couch mumbling "you missed a spot, let me get that for you." with one of the two kids remarking "Wow!Mom even thinks about us in her sleep!"
Open the card and the mom is dreaming about a hot guy on a beach. used an exacto-knife to put Thor's head on there since she fangirled over him so much.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

BIRTHDAY TIME

>>12032

So, i heard you thought i was underage, so you could permaban me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo

Okay, okay, i hope you have some sense of humor.
So, you really didn't read my opinions, any single one of them, and jumped to that conclusion? Or you just don't get what i said (is my english that bad)? Because, you know, you banned me...well, basically because i don't think like you.

Can you...you know, care to explain this? I don't intend to fight or be impolite with you, don't worry, i just want to understand. I hope there's no problem at all if you, or any other mod, could clarify this to me. It's just a question.

>>12033
Sorry! that was our bad! I forgot to tell Ashe to look at the feelings thread.

>>12034

Haha, don't worry, i noticed that. It happens, it's no big deal.

But now i was banned again...and i just don't think the reason is ...well, fair. I know it's just temporary, but... well,anyway, i just want to clarify stuff.

(I really don't want to make a mess, though. I just want to talk).

I don´t want to rely on the fact that alcohol is one thing which let´s me relax and brings me in a good mood.

Good things which happened: Fuck yeah i have a insurance again. God i´m happy, let me kill my liver now.

Didn´t talk to a friend of mine for quite a while now. Which let´s me feel unbalanced somehow. I´m not used to be the sarcastic part in our dynamic.

My body hates me and punishes me with pain, feeling nausea and like i would collapse any moment.

I can´t bring myself to feel much anymore and i don´t want. I´m really really tired of feelings so i just try to act against them or surpress it.

Getting still guilt tripped easily. Goes so far i don´t even want to talk anymore out of fear people get offended by the smallest sentence.

Fuck life.

Got my hair cut. Images to follow soon, but feelings first.

Holy shit I can feel the wind on my neck. I haven't felt that in more than ten years.
13 inches of hair, gone. Goodness. I feel good about it, though. Some little girl with cancer will get a nice wig, and I have a snazzy new haircut.

<--- Novi and I.
Sciencing it up.

>>12026
>1 post
>everything

Okay, really? Are we REALLY doing this now?

http://tf2chan.net/offtopic/res/11081.html#11882
http://tf2chan.net/offtopic/res/11081.html#11953
http://tf2chan.net/inception/res/891.html#897

And that's just all the ones I could remember off the top of my head. So, in short, I'd just appreciate it very much if you would stop talking to me in general, kthnx, because just the sight of your name pisses me off.

I don't even know what your problem is - I used to like you (especially your gmod stuff), but I guess you've started flaming me since that little dispute, in an idiotic attempt to get in good graces with the mods (?) and become one yourself. Or maybe you got a really bad papercut, but didn't notice until you rubbed on some hand sanitizer. Who the fuck knows. I don't care. I just want you to kindly step off.

Ugh. I'm in such a pissy mood today. Work was a nightmare. Had people flooding in to get some last-minute, half-assed Mother's day shit (along with all the other weekend regulars), and breaks kept coming late, and lines were five people long. I swear, I almost started having a panic attack. I love my job, I love my customers, and I love people, but maybe I have a fear of crowds or something - iunno - cause I was ALL wound up. I swear - is you put a lump of coal up my ass, I'd squeeze it into a diamond in ten seconds flat. Also, when I got home, mom asked me to water the lawn for some reason, even though it was raining. That was all sorts of embarrassing. People kept looking at me as they drove by. There was this one really nice lady, though, who complimented our yard, which was nice.

I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. I hope mom doesn't drag me to church in the morning. Even though I'd rather kill a rabbit with nothing but my bare hands and teeth, there's no way I could say no, especially with it being mother's day and all. Here's hoping she forgets I don't have work until the evening.

Also, I should probably get some sleep - I sound deranged.

>>12042
Fuck, that was me.

>>12042
>links
i probably would have replied the same way, no matter who had posted those. its nothing personal, but they fact that they're all replying to you probably says more about you than me

>get in good graces with the mods (?) and become one yourself
oh please, they know me too well for that

>>12045
He's right. he's only mod on mancraft and that's because he plays on it more and we can undo shenanigans with worldedit. He was only gonna become a mod if the Mayans were right. which actually it turns out they found another calendar making it longer than 2012, so yeah,unless the chan and him are immortal, he will never become a mod.
onto feels: seriously body wtf, wake up with sinus headache,neckache, AND hiccups? what are you even doing. stop.

>>12035
Basically these bans act as part of a filter between whiny fanbrat behavior and desired behavior on the chan. "don't like,don't read" is heavily suggestive of fanbrat behavior. only time "don't like don't read" is acceptable is going into an adult thread when you don't like adult stuff to begin with. or if you hate a particular pairing and go up in there and raise a fuss.
When people who /like/ rapefic even think a fic is terrible, "don't like don't read" sounds very childish.

>>12048

But in the case that was being discussed at the Adult Board, about the fanfic (you know, probably, hehe), i was explaining that the expression could be used in that cases when you don't like a TYPE of fanfiction, more or less like in the example you gave. People weren't enjoying the way the writer was portraiting the characters, and the only reason they were giving is that because they can't see them in that way, which does not explain a thing because...you know... no one around here owns the canon things of the game, much less the fandom. When they complain that the characters were too superficial and there weren't no development, they were right. But when they start to say that the fanfic is not good just because they can't see them that way...well, makes no sense as a criticism. That's the point i was trying to explain (and btw, no one was getting it).

The mod who banned me not only didn't try to understand this pretty obvious point, but also didn't talk to me to explain why i was wrong, to refute my opinions, to try to prove himself right, etc etc. Like you just did. Like it's suppose to happen in a good conversation. He just wanted me to be quiet.

Apparently, he's unable to hold a conversation against a different point of view that he disagrees, in a mature way, without abusing power(oh lord, this is funny), don't you agree?

This is pretty childish by itself.

>>12052
actually, yes they did:
""Don't like, don't read" is /never/ a valid argument to ignore criticism. If you genuinely think it is, go back to Sparkledog Central and their hugbox; we deal in constructive criticism and acceptable debate rather than 24/7 asspats."

>>12054

First: he said it AFTER he banned me. So, after the punishment was already made. During the conversation set in the board, he never said a word to me.

Second: this isn't a retort to any of my opinions. He didn't take in count the reasons i gave why is reasonable not to take your on personal view of the characters in an argument against a fanfic because it makes no sense, since it's individual pov.

Third: He didn't even take in consideration that i said, at least twice, that all the other reasons that people are doing the criticism about that fanfiction were good points (meaning, then, that i agree with well made criticisms).

Fourth: srsly, am i making myself clear about the opinion towards the characterization and individuals imagination stuff? Is my english that bad? Or you guys don't want to discuss the point i'm making at all? I mean, i'm doing it not just because i don't agree with some of the stuff that have been discussed in the adult fanfiction board, but also because my pov about the characters is completely different from the majority of the fandom. So, even if i write nice fanfictions, you will all say for me to erase the whole thing and change everything just because we-can't-see-the-characters-the-way-you-do-so-your-story-is-not-good.

It would be a shame. I mean, don't you guys agree that the more different and unique interpretations of the characters we have, more nice fanfiction (porn porn pooorn fuckin good porn) we'll have around here?

(btw, Eudevie, i'm really glad that at least you seems to be willing to discuss. Thank ya, so, i guess).

>>12055
>First: he said it AFTER he banned me. So, after the punishment was already made. During the conversation set in the board, he never said a word to me.
that was the reason given for the ban, on the ban report. That is how bans work.
Characterization notwithstanding, people have a right to say if they think something is out of character or not. discouraging such is highly frowned upon here.

>>12055
also, your ban is over tomorrow. any further discussion in this thread would further derail it. Please leave anything more in the ask box under "ask the mods" on the front page.

>>12057

Hum...okay, i'll give it a shot later, then.

I hope it works.

So I've finally gotten nearly everything worked out as far as moving out goes. I've got rent money, a decent chunk of start-up cash, a car, a phone and plan, and a solid job. All I gotta do now is actually get an apartment. Time to start applying!

Only thing left to do besides that is find car insurance... gotta go in and talk to an agent. Hopefully that accident won't make it TOO much higher.

All boyfriend's gotta do is get his ID and get a job, but easier said than done, given the DMV has the wrong social security number in their system or some shit. I'm not sure what he means by that but it's a pain in the ass to fix apparently.

>>12046

> trying to meet up with friends
> need to distract self of bad feelings
> gosh i´m so excited, i´m going to prepare for it days before it happens so that it will be all jolly sitting together and...
> friends all say no than on the day it was planned

I wish i had the energy to just sit there and sob. Whhhhyyyyy. But the world doesn´t care. Also friends don´t really care if i´m heartbroken and emotional wounded, but still come to me with their problems. Yeah for that i´m good enough, but wanting to just have some funtime with me without going into a emotional festival isn´t good enough.


Still can´t talk to friend until wednesdays. Need to go to doc on thursday to get recipt for other doc.

Stay away from alcohol in the moment. Stay far far far away from it.

I hate that someone I know keeps telling me there my best friend but actually doesn't give a shit about me.

It took me forever to realize she only considered me her best friend for the moment, instead of, you know, being her best friend for the sake of being her best friend.

I just really wish she meant it. Like actually meant it. I know you can have more than one best friend and all that jazz, but when you tell some one that they ARE one of those friends, you should mean it. You really really should because to some people that mean a lot to them.

>>12065
Maybe they've been busy or sick as of late. They might really like you, after all, but they're doing a shitty way of showing it.

I know I've been in that boat myself as of late, and I worry I'm becoming the person who looks like they don't care, but I do.

>>12066

Hey, this is the anon from before. Thanks, I've been wondering that as of late.

I just want to feel needed I guess, and part of me is worried I'm gonna be like....one of those really sad old people who are alone and have a bunch of cats.

Except the cats aren't friendly like other peoples cats. They just pee everywhere like jerks.

>>12067

No problem. If you need someone to talk to, I can give you my Steam. I definitely know that feel, and I don't want anyone else having to go through it, alright?

You'll be alright.

Watched some of my favorite funny videos with a buddy of mine who A.) is a bit of a perpetual frowner and B.) I've been struggling to find middle ground with for a while. He enjoyed them and laughs were had, so I can say that it's been a pretty good day.

>>12064
>>12065
I know the feeling, dudes. I find it hard to keep a steady group of friends, much less try not to take it very personally and seriously if we don't see each other for a while, even though I know that, logically, we all have our own legitimate reasons for not seeing each other. If you'd like, I could share my skype/email. I'm not around often on either, but I'd be more than willing to listen when I am. Just, whatever you do, don't start resenting your friends, or yourself. It's alright to feel angry or sad, though, but hang in there, guys.

MCM is so soon and I haven't finished my bat. Excuse me while I freak out. Also my provisional driving licence came in the post today! Hybrid's gonna be on wheeeeeels yeah!

>>12079
Lol incomplete cosplays. I have like a million things to sew and paint and glue and not enough tiiiiiiiime.
Con's a week from Friday though :D so much excite.

I hope the Large Hadron Collider can get to the bottom of how much wood that woodchuck would indeed propel if he had the capacity to.

>>12084
I hope they never find the Higgs Boson.
Then I will have a valid excuse to not remember anything from high-school science classes: it will all be wrong.

(...I feel fine. 'N stuff. My college final project is due next week and my sketchbook isn't half as full as I need it to be. The project itself isn't half done either but that's fine because it's all about the process, right? I don't feel pressured anymore. All my best work is done at the very last moment, it's how I roll.)

So, I'm living with my grandmother. I mowed well over an acre of land for that woman (with a pushmower) so she wouldn't have to, then when I ate at dinner, she called me fat. Thanks, Grandma.

Besides that, I've found that I'm jealous of my little sister. Se has a mother who would never hit her, MY father, who is an incredible person, she goes where she wants, she's adorable...and she makes me feel like shit when I'm too tired to run around with her.

Seriously, she knows just what buttons to push to make me feel like a terrible human. I mean, I'm sorry that I want time to myself to enjoy having internet again, and to talk to my girlfriend. I forgot that ALL of my time must be spent making Lil' Sis happy.

So, I feel fat and selfish. I suck.

Tomorrow my short lived facebook account which I used mostly for school stuff is gonna get deactivated, and I kinda sorta want to do a last minute reanimation, but at the same time I don't want to deal with some bullshit, yet I sorta do (that's why I plainly just hadn't un-liked buncha peeps), even though it brought mostly more resentment towards some people I used to respect/wanted to keep a 'friendly' tab on.

Also sorta have the opportunity to move to US for 3months? I have a foster family already willing to take me in at least for the beginning, we'll see how it goes, this will def gonna be an awesome experience if it works out.

>>12092

you coming to the US Teapot? Welcome to the U.S. of A! Where there's lot of fatty foods and unhealthy eating. Kidding, it's not as extravagant as TV makes it seem, but seriously, deep fried Snickers? C'mon guys.

Something to know = Apparently, other countries view us as REEEEAAAAL freindly. Lot's of hugs - the land of the free hugs. Be prepared for lots of handshakes and "hiiii how arrrree youuuuu?" And if you take public transport...don't talk to people. Just don't. People on the bus are crazy. Wear headphones. Be assertive. Look disinterested in people.

Oh yeah, go to an all American diner. Get a burger and fries and a milkshake. Not at Mcdonalds. Get our trademark food done right! (If you go to Milwaukee Wi, go to Rock Bottom. It's a delicious, delicious restaurant.) Also, get the americanized version of your countries food. Go to Taco bell or get chinese or wherever your from. It'll be worth a laugh. Tastes good too!

Oh, and our news sources are stupid. Screw politics- there are free copies of The Onion in a lot of cities, pick up that!

I'm feeling patriotic now! I'm gonna go do something involving Soldier. I'm feeling suitably Solly today.

>>12094
Oh hey thanks for the first hand tips! About the mp3 - already doing that after having to listen to four different life stories told by complete strangers including a total conspiracy nutjob, and helping old ladies get the groceries to their homes because goddamit, you can't say no there.

I'll keep all that in mind, although I'm kinda regretting the fact that I'll probably be stuck in North Carolina, and we all know how 'great' it is there now. As for local food my best bet would be to get it in Chicago or NY, but as far as I've heard it's at least good.
And when it comes to news feeds I already don't care about it here, just enough to know for whom to vote.

FUCKING RELATIONSHIPS I don't know if i can get into them. There's this guy that likes me, and he's putting a -lot- of effort. Before I knew about his intentions, I was his friend for a year. I ignorantly thought he was just being a nice guy, but then it turns out that he likes me. And honestly, I think he'd make a great boyfriend, but the thought of putting myself in a relationship makes me want to run the other way. I don't know if I can open myself up to someone.

I feel like I should just jump into the relationship sea and see where that takes me but I also feel like ignoring the whole issue until it goes away.

>>12101
Ah this ship, lets sail it shall we?
You know the guy, he is genuinely making an effort for you, he is a nice guy Im betting and you are not totally against the idea of dating him as well.
All these considered, is there any reason not to date him besides it being your first? There is no reason not to take it slow if you prefer, even explaining to him "Lets be careful and take our time"

You know him, he is nice, and you may like him as well, sounds like the perfect person to start dating, heck, surely dating a random you hardly know would go a lot worse?

>>12103
It's true, there is a little attraction there on my end, but in all honestly, the thought of upgrading the relationship to -RELATIONSHIP- status, scares me. I don't want to have to deal with him constantly trying to call me and hang out with me. I'm a very introverted person, and hanging out with him more than twice a week exhausts me.

The only thing i can say that's negative about him is that he has this issue with being attracted to people with a lot of issues. He likes psychoanalyzing people, and 'fixing' people (whther they want him to or not), which gets on my nerves when he tries to do it to me. He tries to get me to talk about my 'feelings and issues' all the time. He also talks a lot about this and that, while I prefer the quiet and the companionship.

For example, once we went hiking together, for 3 hours. And he talked non-stop. I mean c'mon, dude.

Forgive me, for I think I lost my marbles.

So last night, bf and I were getting pretty heavy into the flirting, and I'm still rather butterflied about the whole 'OMG I HAVE A BOYFRIEND LOOK WE'RE FLIRTING' aspect, so it shot me into a panic attack. Felt sick all night.

Told him about it today, and without me even having to ask to maybe take it a little slower, he offered to. He's perfectly understanding about the whole thing, and completely supportive.
Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

But dear god I wish my stomach would stop being such a bitch about everything. I love butterflies, but not when they're having an orgy in my intestines.

I'm in art school, and while I'm doing okay with the actual drawing stuff (which is more of what I want to do for a career anyways), I'm not grasping the graphic design classes as much. There's no class on "what is good design", and I was wondering if anyone had a book suggestion or some links to show me.

>>12107
I think art is expressing what is inside you whereas design is reflecting what's already out in the world. Usually it's to solve a problem or convey a particular message. My teachers tell me good design is about stripping away all unnecessary elements, whether it be the serifs on your fonts or the flowery background that you're using 'just because'. I guess good design is eliminating the superfluous and leaving behind a clean, clear message.

I was really positive about a lot of people in this community until I actually sat down and read some of the threads around the board. I don't know why it annoys me so much to see people I admire(d) act like insufferable cunts to each other, but when I see how much drama goes on around this site over stupid bullshit it just makes me want to bang my fucking head on a wall. Watch me get banned for saying that. Or maybe for saying this.

That aside, I got a kitten recently. This should bring me a lot of joy, but I realized once I got the kitten home that I'm not ready for a pet. He's frustrating. Too active, too noisy. I alternate between being intensely angry with him and beguiled. I lost my patience with him today and locked him in the cat carrier and left the room for an hour.

That scares me for one reason: he was frightened and struggling to get out. He was hungry and probably thirsty. And I did not fucking care. I left him even though he was howling to get out. My husband wasn't home to let him out. I was completely apathetic about leaving a helpless living creature in a tiny fucking cage for an hour. If I can do that to a living thing that needs my love and care, what else can I do?

The worst part is that I don't even feel that guilty over it. He makes me angry more often than he makes me happy. I don't enjoy having a pet like I thought I would. I don't feel a lick of love for this kitten. I've told my husband that I'm seriously considering taking it back to the pound, but my husband will absolutely not let me. He loves the kitten. I do not. I spend most of the day alone in the house with this animal and I apparently have no pretenses about abusing it. I'm concerned for my state of mind and I'm concerned for the kitten. I don't have very good impulse control.

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I don't want to be responsible for the death of this poor unfortunate creature should I lose control of my own shitty temper. I hope this post doesn't make anyone want to track my IP and drop my dox to animal services or something.

(I like cats a hell of a lot more than I like you.)

>>12110
P.S. I probably just invalidated my already mostly useless comment about the community by making everyone think that I'm a brooding, melodramatic animal abuser.

>>12110
>I hope this post doesn't make anyone want to track my IP and drop my dox to animal services or something.

haha

die

>>12110
Ya need a shrink mate

Oh GOD. It's been SO LONG, internet!

Let's never fight again, baby.

<3

If my brother complains once more about not having a computer mouse, I'm going to throw one of the four I have at his head.

Also my car pretty much blew up. Kind of pissed off about that. Especially 'cause my dad refuses to fix it. Douchenugget.

Going to a con today! I am super excited because I get to hang out with a lot of my friends and some really cool con buddies! Plus I get to see my boyfriend for the first time since March! If I seem calm, it's only because I cannot put into words how fucking excited I am. I feel like my brain is bouncing around inside my skull and honestly, short of heading off to the con (doesn't start for a few hours) I want nothing more than to dance.

Found the three most amazing roleplay partners ever.
Hnnng. That feel.

If you read this, I hope ya'll know who you are ♥

>>12135
Oh, I do love that feel. Haven't felt it in a while, since I've had the same partners for a few months+ now, but still. It is a nice feel when you like them instantly.
I should get some new partners. I'm down to two and a half, now, because others are I guess busy with work and life and stuff. Pfft. Life.


SO. Feelings.
I work at a coupon clearinghouse, as I may have said before. We all have these little half-cubicle desk things, with a computer, a printer, and our scanners for the coupons.
Now, I'm only a contract worker, so bottom of the totem pole. One of the full-time people gets moved to my desk, and gets my good red scanner, leaving me stuck with a crappy blue one. (The blue ones aren't as sensitive, and almost never scan cardboard, so my hourly rate has dropped like a stone)
Worst part? Full time lady never wanted to move. She was perfectly content where she was. No one has any idea why our manager moved her.
Also, spent half an hour at the end of the day, cleaning my new desk. JESUS CHRIST. I swear, there's enough lint and dust under there to make a very unattractive sweater. YUCK.
So yeah. Feel kinda peeved. Feel kinda grossed out. But on the bright side, I found out that I actually do like carrot cake cupcakes, now, so that's nice.

Lost 60 pounds, feels good man.

>>12136
Hey, hey.
I'm not busy with life

>>12138
O rly?

>>12139

Here, have the most obvious email ever.

>>12110

WOW! A. Kitten. made. you. angry.

kitten + you = angry

what what what what what what

but seriously, go fall in a hole. Kittens are not that god damn hard to deal with.

Feeling pretty good today.

I have made a big step and ascended once again.

>>12140
Feel free to add me on steam, too, if you want. Izzy41630.

Okay, WTF scanner.
We have quotas we have to make at my work. Currently, I'm supposed to be scanning 10,400 coupons a day. Now, my strategy, upon getting moved to my new station, is just to let myself suck normally, and let them cringe at the low numbers.
But GODAMNIT I got really good blue mail today, and ended up making 10,300.
Plan fail. Feels bad.
But at the same time happy, because that mail was SO FUCKING GOOD and usually I get crap.

I do not understand why, when I ask someone to tell me more about something they like, like a comic book or a celebrity I am unfamiliar with, I get the response "USE GOOGLE, DUMBASS". I'm standing right in front of you, and you can't recant the plot of a movie you just watched and give me a vague estimation of whether or not I'd enjoy it?

>>12144
Man, you must be traumatized if you're telling people IRL "google it dumbass".

namefagging, sorry.

Holy fuck I can't sleep lately. My life is just bizarre right now. It's 4:41 in the morning and i'm wide awake. What the fuck body? get tired, I have class today.

One of my in real life friends s following my tumblr (damn you auto correct!) and I really don't want her to. I really, REALLY don't want her to.

Like really really really REALLY REALLY don't want her too.

I just wanted my tumblr to be a place for ME. And not have to worry about the porn I reblog and the stupid fan fiction I write I just wanted privacy. i made my tumblr purposely anonymous too. I just want privacy from her because I feel like she thinks my whole life revolves around her or something. It makes me so god damn mad. Now I have to figure out something cause honestly that stuff was only meant to be shared with my online friends. Something that I didn't want anyone but you guys to see.

I know thats really stupid because it's the internet yaddayaddayadda and whatever but I just feel she looks down on everyone and she's just gonna judge me. It makes me so mad and I know its stupid but part of me just wants her to stop...doing things.

I NEED TO RANT I'M REALLY SORRY.

I hate her tumblr (damn you auto correct!) habits so god damn much sometimes. She constantly reblogs her own stuff on facebook and it makes me wanna punch walls. Yes! you drew a picture we get it. keep it off facebook it just makes you look like a douche. I don't care if you're trying to "get yourself out there" do it elsewhere, doing it on facebook just makes you look self centered. Stop reblogging your own stuff! stop posing for your profile picture. It makes you looks self obsessed, no one wants to see you making batty eyes at the camera! stop acting like an asshole when someone offers you a critique! You have no grasp on color theory so when I tell you somethings color makes no sense it makes no sense! fuck you i've been studying color theory for fucking years i know what i'm talking about. I hate how you dumb your art down because you think people are stupid and won't like you art unless you make it as stupid as possible! You have a good grasp on anatomy, quit throwing those skills away and drawing the easiest things possible! Quit talking shit about your followers! Stop pretending to like nerd stuff hardcore when you've only liked it for a week! You used to be so nice! What the fuck happened to you? You used to actually consider me your equal but now it feels like you think everyone is below you! You turned into such a colossal asshole in the past year and it makes me wanna punch babies it's so god damn annoying! drop all this hipster crap and be yourself again!

RANT OVER, I'm sorry tf2chan, I'm so sorry baby I won't hurt you no more. I promise.

My graphics card took a shit. everything artifacted like crazy.even firefox. Luckily, my grandma had given me 50bux for my birthday.

Had a great time at my con! Derped around as an Engineer with my sexy Sniper in tow.
My mother saw this picture and said, and I quote; "He looks like a male stripper and you look like a dyke. What business do you have with eachother?"
An amazing weekend was had. Can't wait for the next one!

1. Checks the state of bank account after buying even more work clothes.
2. Weeps.
3. Sends out job applications.
4.???
5. Profit! (hopefully)

So, I discovered that my father, who put on a really impressive, loving front, cares more for his girlfriend of one year than he does for me. I had to defend myself against her daughter's insults, and decided to vent on the phone to my sweetheart. During that vent, I called the kid a fucking brat, because she IS.

Seriously, she's 11 years old and she cussed me out because I wouldn't let her run across 4 lanes of traffic with no streetlight, crosswalk, or stop sign. I was looking out for her fucking SAFETY, for God's sake!

Oh, and THEN she told me that when I left, she was going to keep Snuggletooth, MY turtle. Where was I when this decisions was made? I was cussed out for telling her 'no' to that too, by the way.

So, after her mother eavesdropped on our conversation and heard me call her daughter a brat. Instead of...oh God, I don't know...TELLING me, she ordered my father to stop calling me, stop visiting me, and stop talking to me when he was around.

I had to BEG for someone to tell me what the fuck was going on, and when they did, I wasn't allowed to get a word in edgewise.

Yes, I shouldn't have called her a brat, but when an 11 year old girl calls me a fat bitch because I don't let her charge headlong into a horde of cars moving at 70 miles an hour, I get pissed.

So, I thought "Oh, well, I'm in the wrong, I'll call the mother and apologize." No dice. She wouldn't answer my calls, and all my dad would say is "Well maybe you should just go back to your mother."

Bear in mind, I wasn't staying with Dad and his squeeze. I was staying with Grandma, because the girlfriend didn't want to have a filthy turtle in the house. They told me to get the fuck out while I wasn't even WITH them.

All this, however, doesn't hold a candle to being accused of spying on my dad to get him thrown into jail because he hasn't paid ten years of child support. I went there because I love my dad and wanted to see him, nothing more. That accusation broke my heart, and thanks to the fact that no one trusted me, all my phone calls, I came to found out, were eavesdropped on, hence the angry mother.

So. Back in Hiawassee. Contemplating drinking until my liver explodes and kills me.

Too much work and no money. Where are the people with too much money and no work, and how do I become one of them?

My job can go fuck itself.

We have summer hours starting now, which means I have to work extra during the week, and get off Friday afternoons.
Now, I was told, all through my employment here, that these were OPTIONAL. That was fine with me, because I work on my mom's schedule, because I have no car. So what she works, I work.
Now I find out that they've decided to make it MANDATORY. And they tell us this the week before it starts, so I have two days to get an entirely new schedule together, involving dad picking me up some days, mom working extras, and me working like, 12 hours two days of the week.
FUN.

>>Me: "I don't know what to do, my parents and siblings keep getting really angry at me for stupid shit and threatening to kill me. I'm starting to get scared."
>>Psychologist/One of my friends: "AWWW THEY REALLY LIKE YOU, they just want to show you they're worried about you, that's all."

I...what.

When I was younger my mom took medication for her bi-polar because she tried to kill me as a baby, but it made her so... not-herself that she gave up the medication years ago. During that period it was tough on her and I (my dad was a working dad, wasn't around enough to have the same problems) because any time I tried to be adolescent and emotional she would get worked up and always overshadow all my feelings with hers... until I learned to just shut up and tuck all my feelings away. Which is how I ended up suffering through all sorts of peer abuse without anyone noticing for two years. And how I was nearly taken advantage of by teen boys and managed to go home and act like nothing happened.

Fast-forward to now when I'm a well-adjusted(?) young women and my little brother is going through his first stages of teenager.
> That feel when he tries to strangle me.
> That feel when he takes a metal baseball bat to a window because I trapped him on the other side of a glass door to get away from him when he's being violent.
> That feel when my mom has been calm for years and my brother manages to get her riled up again yesterday to the point she nearly leaves him where he is and drives home.
(I have quite a few memories of her leaving me on the side of the road.)

My brother is bi-polar, I'm pretty much certain of it. My grandpa had it too.

GAH.
>complicated feels
>jimmies rustled
>completely powerless in situation
>Worst of all I just kinda feel relieved deep down that it won't be my problem much longer.

This wouldn't be so heavy on my mind but the other day my mom had a small debate over a distant issue (circumcision, not relevant) and later she said, "You know, if it were a few years ago and you had disagreed with me like that I would have flown into a rage"... which struck a chord with me because the entire debate we had I was stepping around her like I always have. I didn't push my view too hard, I was always ready to back out and admit a meaningless defeat... basically, I don't know if she didn't get mad because of me or because of her. She gets frustrated with my bro a lot more than me. (Makes sense though, I'm not a teenager anymore.)

TL;DR there are two bi-polar people with a history of violence in my house and soon I'm not going to be there to be the serene, robotic medium.

In other news... the summer break has arrived! Woo! The heatwave around here has stopped and made way for the rain once again, thank god. I was dying. There goes England's yearly sole week of sun.

>>12156

>Psychologist

I suggest you find a new one.
What sort of psychologist answers with that? I'm still in school and I know that is NOT how you tackle that kind of statement or situation by a long shot.

I confided in my mom that I'd been thinking about cutting and that part of me doesn't understand why that is necessarily bad when everyone abuses themselves in some way. She claims she doesn't (Bull shit) and then says she has to "detach with love" cause I'm even thinking about this. So yeah thanks mom, glad I confided in you instead of bottling it up like I used to, that really made it better, being pushed away.

Fuck I can't even do what makes it better, talking about it, withought beeing treated like a fuck up. Yeah "detatch with love" you used that when you dumped me at the mental hospital mom.

I try to open up at the time of year I always do the worst mentally and get shut down cause of my "stinkin' thinkin'" I'm sorry we can't all just run away from out emotions mom and put on a happy face and be diseptive fucks like you who pretend that they aren't massive hypocrites.

Glad I fucking have an understanding mom.

So, I think I've got one or more impacted wisdom teeth. The whole left side of my jaw hurts unless I take paracetamol every 4 hours or so. And my medicare card doesn't cover dental care... here's hoping I can find an emergency dentist or dental school that'll do an operation (or just and x-ray) for free.
Ohhh wellll. Helped Ryojin and his brother move house over the weekend. That made me feel useful, at least. And the appointments with the psychologist are still going on. I don't feel as if I'm slipping into impending doom quite as much as I used to, even if I may well be worse off than I used to be.

Finding out tomorrow whether or not we got the apartment we want.

I am so nervous. Wish us luck, guys.

>>12166
I don't even know.

My parents will act nice and polite one minute (especially around people who aren't family) and jump down my throat about everything the next. So when I try to confide in people about how they don't allow me to have any freedom or have a job, or how they try to convince me every person I date/try to become friends with just wants me for my body or to steal money from me, people usually tell me "they're so nice, you're clearly lying, they really do love you".

People who love me wouldn't treat their kids this way, at least not when they're legally an adult. I feel trapped.

I miss this place... Wish I ever had enough time to make proper visites like I used to.

Nazara has arrived. Time to set her up and-
/Nazara has DMI,HDMI,and DP vidya ports
uggh. I need a converter to convert the 2'nd monitor into it.
but otherwise,she is a sexy beast. Nazara(Named after the name the geth called Sovereign) will be taking over The Judge's Position. Lots of transferring and installing to do!

ACCEPTED. I move out in twelve days! So stoked.

Gotta set up the utilities tomorrow and I frankly have no clue what I'm doing. Fun shit!

My grandmother passed away, and I sobbed my brains out last night, because she's been in the hospital for a bit, and I haven't gone to see her, because I've been so wiped from work, and they told me she was doing fine anyway. She got a blood clot in her leg, and they removed it, but it just went downhill, and last night she slipped away.
Now, I'm not religious, but the fact that a rainbow appeared right after she passed seems just so eerie that it has to be a sign.

I forgot to share this when it happened, but pictures keep popping up on blogs and things and everytime I see one I'm filled with joy and pride and affection.
A couple weeks ago, Anime North, a huge fan-run convention took place in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I went dressed as a BLU Femgineer with a home made Gunslinger and my boyfriend went as a BLU Sniper. The first day of the con he missed the Valve shoot and he was very disappointed about it since he had a 'special surprise' variation on his costume that he wanted to show off.
So the second day of the con we went to the Valve shoot together and the shoot was so much fun, a couple channers that I know were there, we took some great pictures and had some hilarious moments. As soon as the Engie shoot was done and the Sniper shoot had just finished up, my boyfriend and I snuck off to the parking lot and he changed into his second costume. He then ran back to the shoot and bombed at least a half a dozen Spies as they did their shoot. He was dressed in nothing but an Australian speedo, socks, shoes, hat, and glasses. Pic is further up the thread.
I can't even begin to descirbe how happy I was to stand with the other cosplayers as everyone took pictures of him, everyone watching him humping unsuspecting spies, while I held the rest of his clothes and said 'yeah, that's my boyfriend.'
Maybe because my ex was so... opposite of him? I can recall my ex, on more than one occasion, pretending he didn't know me in public because he didn't want anyone to think he was affiliated with me. It was the same at cons, he avoided me because I was lame and cosplaying and acting like a fool. It makes me so happy that my current boyfriend and I can be ridiculous together, that he loves me for being the outlandish character that I am and he joins me in the type of shenanigans that are the main reason I go to cons.
tl;dr: don't listen to me, i'm deliriously in love <3

My friends keep saying that if this other friend and I are having a "secret relationship", we are doing a terrible job of keeping it secret. We are not together.

I am simultaneously sick of my boyfriend's ex to the point of genuinely wishing him dead, and laughing hysterically at his pathetic existence. He left his DS at my boyfriend's house MONTHS ago and demands that we ship it to him, which we're refusing because it's expensive. We've given him every opportunity to come here and get it, but he doesn't want to get up off his lazy ass and come get it, so he threatened to call the cops because "it's theft." Then when we blew him off, he threatened to take us to court. Over a DS Lite. Even if he had a case, which he doesn't - OVER A DS LITE.

On the bright side, we got a kitten! Another birthday present for the boy, but it's not like I needed any persuasion. Still hoping to find our missing cat too, of course.

Moving out on the 20th. We've got a lot to do, but I am insanely excited.

I sort of feel like a friend of mine is invading my life. I enjoy their company, I really do, but it's getting to the point where I'm spending most of my time not working with them, now they've taken to spending a lot of time at my house because someone else is inviting them over. It's getting to the point where, if I run out of ways to entertain them/the original host leaves, they'll watch what I'm doing on my laptop. That's especially frustrating because, sure, I'm doing nothing wrong, but having someone watch you 24/7 is very, very vexxing and makes me too stressed out to do anything but fix up minor details in lineart or something. It doesn't help thaat I feel like a bad friend because I don't always have something to talk to them about or something for us to do together when I'm hanging out with them.
I just sort of want to be alone for a while. I have enough little things stressing me out. One of my good friends shouldn't be a stressor, and I feel bad for considering them one to the degree that I don't want to makle plans with anyone, period.

I feel like if you go online you're supposed to be cool with absolutely every joke the internet makes, nothing is serious business, and you're not supposed anything goes too far or isn't cool.

And I can't really stomach that belief or understand why it exists, only that I'm wrong for thinking it, apparently.

>>12195

Unless you go to Tumblr, where every joke is offensive.


I move out in ten days holy shit. My parents decided to get us a fridge for our housewarming gift, which takes a HUGE load off of me. Got the internet set up, got EVERYTHING I need for the kitchen for $200 (god bless grocery outlet), and everything is almost packed. All I have to do now is set up the utilities and get a phone plan.

>>12196
I always felt the exact opposite. Tumblr (and a few other sites, Steam Workshop being one) screamed at me when I expressed my distaste for Holocaust (especially regarding Medic, and especially when I point out he's canonically NOT a Nazi, which people have flat-out refused to believe) and 9/11 jokes. That people who get offended at anything are assholes who are trying to ruin other people's fun.

I don't consider myself a tightass or a media watchdog or anything, but I have lines I refuse to cross.

>>12197

Yeah, I have seen that as well, and I agree with you. I have no idea when 9/11 and Holocaust jokes became funny or okay, but I don't dig it. I admit to occasionally laughing at some in that "shock humor" kind of "oh my god what the fuck that's so horrible why am I laughing" kind of way, but I especially don't take kind to it with Medic. It feels like people are making him a Nazi simply because he's German, which is pretty fucked up. I feel that way about Nazi Eridan too, since there's a lot of headcanon about him having a German-ish accent.

>>12199
The argument I had heard was "it's the internet, nothing should be taken seriously". I treat the internet the same way I treat offline life- only say what you mean, don't be douchey, treat all people like real people.

People need to do their research more when it comes to WWII and I feel the same way about Eridan as you do. Like Dr. Erskine said in Captain America: The First Avenger: "People often forget Germany was the first country they invaded."

I have Bronchitis. Again. This is the THIRD time in four months. Should I be concerned?

Also I'm shitting blood again like whoa.

Mixed feels. Got a new turtle, and he's the most chill motherfucker I've ever seen. Likes having his chin scratched and everything. I found him in the middle of the road, scrambling in a circle.

And then, once I got him situated, my cat ripped a baby rabbit's jugular out and deposited its struggling body onto my feet when I came outside to investigate the squealing.

Nature sucks, man.

>>12202
Does not sound good. At least a basic check-up is reccommended.

>>12202
Could be a sign of a compromised immune system due to infection of some kind. I had the same about 3 months only to find out my system was compromised cause my body was using up my white cells trying to fight strep throat.

so apparently you can upload mp3's up to 1000kb. I did not know this. trying it now.

Obligatory post about being pissed off at my parents.

>>12202

Dear, try take a look at it. Go make a check-up...

Is your Bronchitis chronic or something? Watch out for your immunological system.

well tonight was certainly interesting

Went to AM^2 over the weekend which was awesome. It was small and not much to do, but it was a really chill con with a lot of cool people.

Signed our lease yesterday! Moving out Wednesday. My entire room is boxes.

My sister came over for father’s day, she brought her boyfriend and their new dog. I went up to spend some family time with them and after I’d sat down she reached over and pulled my tank top up higher and told me it was obscene. My bra was not showing and to be frank my chest is a 48k cup, it is going to look big in anything I wear, but as it’s summer and I can’t afford new clothes as I’m losing weight I have old tank tops, that actually fir better now than they did 60 pounds ago. I texted her after to tell her that I felt what she’d done was inappropriate and this is what I got. She fails to realize that even taking me aside to do this shit is disrespectful as fuck. I don’t tell her what to wear cause it’s not my business and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want the same.

I met someone amazing through this forum. Wow, I didn't think it was possible to like/love anyone as much as this, but it's been done.

TF2 is fucking awesome. I couldn't imagine being without Spy, it's like a dream ♥

>>12231

Wow, I am so sorry about that. I'd say more regarding your sister, but considering she IS still your sister, I just... Won't.

But I will tell you that you're fine the way you are, and I am hugely impressed with the amount of weight you've lost in such a short amount of time. Not to look "good", but to get healthier. Period.

I'm sorry that your sister does not understand, but trust me when I say I feel your pain when it comes to trying to open up family members' eyes to statements that can (and have) hurt others in the past. Truth is, they're behind the times, just like people who refused to see Jim Crow Laws as bad, or people who thought gays should be exiled (or worse).

Hopefully they'll catch up, but learning new ways of thinking is hard for people who have been spoon-fed knowledge all their lives and don't know what it's like being on the receiving end of all of that discrimination. I hesitate to call you lucky because your weight seems to be the only problem While getting shot in the head is worse than getting shot in the arm, it still sucks to get shot in the arm, I can assure you that, even though your family may not understand, they will still love you no matter what.

I think you should stand for what you believe in, but your sister is still proud to be your kin. I know I'd be.

>>12233
She fails to understand that part of gaining weight to begin with was a reaction to assaults/rapes from 3 separate men. Yes I'm fucking sensitive of it, because it isn't only is weight to me I'm dealing with. It's a past of assault and of assault again that police told me "I wanted" when I went looking for help.

And that might not have been an issue if this weren't the time of year I was molested at 5. I just am a mess and the fact that someone in my family would shame me like that at a time of year that leaves me an emotional wreck to begin with just brings it all back.

>>12234
Oh... well... I certainly didn't know that...

Well... Maybe I should just shut my mouth right now, but at the risk of further putting my foot in my mouth, I'd advise you to tell her everything you just told us. She'll never truly understand if you don't lay it out for her like that.

I'm sorry if I made things worse, though, I was only trying to help.

My last grandparent died today, and no one was near him because they worked shitty jobs to make a living. Save for the nurses, and the fact that my mum visited him again yesterday, like always.
I can't really write anything more, I still hate a lot of things about our current situation, and that was another one. We had one really good year, maybe 1 1/2, but that's it. Whoopee.

>>12235
No you didn't I'm just frustrated and I this year I'd rather talk about it for once instead of bottling it all up. I'm just angry at her cause she should know better on more than one level why doing that is hurtful to me.

>>12234
>assault again that police told me "I wanted" when I went looking for help.

What? What kind of police officer would say something like that?

Okay. Laughed today.

So my city has a ridiculous amount of one-way streets uptown. Literally over 50% of them are one-way.
Now, we drove down one street, to go and see the cruise ship. Two lanes, one lane going right, another going left.
Some asshole tries to turn up the one-way street, and got pissed at us when he couldn't.
So we drive on, and eventually have to come back down this street.


....turns out it wasn't a one-way street. Oopsies.

Oh well. No one died. That's what matters.

>>12239
a huge number of them
"she was asking for it"
"dressing provocatively"
"if you wear a short skirt in the bad part of town then you bear some responsibility for it yourself! it's like flashing cash in the poor district and then being surprised when you're mugged!"
"well she chose to go on a date with him soooooo she's partially responsible for this"
discouraging people from even attempting to report things either actively by saying that he probably won't get arrested so it's not worth the cop's time or less directly by saying shit like the above and otherwise victim-blaming
it's not just cops it's our society
this is what rape culture means

About two weeks ago, I had a fight with my sister.
She threatened my life, screamed at me and tried to claw at my eyes and strangle me.
I slapped her. Once.

She's angry at me, because I have chosen to not see my father any more, but that's the first time she have attacked me like that.

I should probably mention, that my father abused me as a child, also he is a certified paedophile and have more than once hurt a child (besides me).

Fast forward to today, where my mother tells me she wants me to apology to my sister for hitting her.
As it turns out, my sister have told my mother that all she did was yell at me, and I hit her.

And the fact that I've slapped my sister, is all my mother is concerned about.
Not the fact that my sister started it, or the fact that she tried to strangle me.
Not the fact that my sister tells me that I have ruined hers and my fathers lives, after they have both ruined mine.
Not that I'm right now suffering mentally, because of the scars in my soul that have been ripped opened once more, or that I have to go to the mentalist again.

Just the fact, that I slapped my sister.

>>12243
I think it's time you consider cutting your sister too in all honesty. She seems extremely toxic to you and to buried in what is probably denile to see what you are going through.

I'm really sorry your mom didn't side with you after you told her what happened from your vantage. I'm on your side all the way.

I don't get along with my family much, and they have a habit of yelling at me, guilt-tripping me, blaming me for things that I wasn't involved in, won't let me leave the house much, constantly try to convince me I have no redeemable traits/will never be able to learn to drive or have a job, and constantly invade my personal space.

Some of my friends tell me to shut up and stop whining, because this is completely normal and other people have to deal with way worse.

My girlfriend and some of my other friends think this is completely wrong and something I should stand up to them about, try to move out, etc. I'm honestly not sure.

>>12249
I read a great quote recently: "Telling someone not to complain because others have it worse is like telling someone not to be happy because others have it better." I really do think that applies here. One's experiences can damage them more than they realize, regardless of the fact that 'everyone deals with it'. I can tell you from my own experience that, sometimes, the best thing to do is get out and get out before things get worse. I regret not leaving my family sooner, and they still try to get into contact with me years after the fact I told them I was through with their games. Talking it out didn't work; I was shouted at and insulted to tears for being selfish, etc. I am far happier than I realized I could be since leaving them. I give this same advice to people I know in real life and I don't care that it sounds harsh. Sometimes it's for the best.

Dear Listener

I want to kill myself and I don't know how to deal with my issues. I don't know how to cope with what I'm going through right now.

Please, help me.

>>12251
Killing yourself is never the answer. Not ever. I implore you, please don't do that. The mere fact that you've reached out says that there's at least some part of you that doesn't want to. LISTEN TO THAT PART.

Now, please. Tell us what's wrong. I'm sure someone here can give you advice, no matter what the problems are. But we can't help if you just say 'I have problems', but don't elaborate. We can't know how to help, then, except to say that we're there for you. And we are.
If you scroll up a ways, there are several posts with people's emails, and they've expressed a desire to help people with their problems, if you'd prefer to contact them privately, rather than post all your problems on a public forum.

Iz is right on many fronts, especially the part where there people willing to talk and listen. If you would rather talk to someone in private with the knowledge that they won't share any details of who you are, you can contact me on steam at the id Donstheman

>>12251

Think about it friend, do you really know what will happen if you kill yourself? Will you find peace?

For all you know, something worse might be waiting for you on the other side. No one really knows what happens when you die, no one.

But we do know what happens while you live. We know you can get ice cream or pet a puppy, all those small things that makes life so great.

I know that right now life probably seems though for you, but do you really want to end your life, and never do all the things that makes you happy again?

Sometimes life is though, but for all we know, death might be even worse, so instead of killing yourself, you should fight to get a better life, then you can keep enjoying all the things you like...

>>12243
And so it happened, I lost my mother.

We had an argument again, because she still wants me to apology to my sister.

Let's recap - I was abused as a child, My sister tells me it's all my fault, that I'm a horrible person, and tries to choke me and scratch out my eyes.
My mother says I'm a bad person for defending myself.

I told my mom that I didn't care, I would never want ANYONE to apology for putting their foot down in a situation like that, and that I can't believe that she can act like it's okay for my sister to acct the way she did.

My mother essentially told to move out.

Thank you mom, thank you for being the only person I cared for ad trusted, and then tell me "fuck you" and toss me away like a broken toy.

>>12256
I think it's for the best that you get away from that environment, I'm just sorry to see that it had to come about this way. I wish I could be of more help, but know that there are people here - many people - who are happy to listen.

This is the anon that said they wanted to kill themselves.

Out of all the places I've went to, you guys answered me and thank you so much. I'm super embarrassed to add people and personally talk to them, but I would rather do that then post them publicly. So thanks so much for responding. I really want to reach out.

I don't want to kill myself, but I feel so hurt and heartbroken over everything and I don't know how to cope. I guess I need to find a way to cope and move on from things.

Thanks so much, again. Thank you.

I have been dealing with depression since middle school. I still find it hard to take compliments, love myself, not be overly critical, or not take things too hard.

I don't want to let my friends go through the same thing, and two of them are actively refusing to let me help them. They shut down every compliment I give them, tell me they refuse to allow themselves to be happy, tell me I don't care when I'm doing my damnedest to try to help. I have no idea what to do, I'm scared here.

>>12268
It's so hard to get through to people like that. Not only do they suffer from depression but they convince themselves they're right in being that way, that they should be.
I knew somebody like that. While he did get better, unfortunately I had nothing to do with it

>>12269
I know the feeling. But I also know that the people who stay around, the people who truely care about you and stick through everything, don't hate you. And those are the people whose opinions you should value over others. It took me years to realize that, but I'm happier now that I do.

I'm a very meek person, and as much as I love my friends, some of them are very hard-headed and stubborn, and I don't know if what I do is going to be enough to get them to listen.

The story about your friend makes me feel a lot better, though. Knowing that someday they might be able to get help in some other day. Thank you.

So as of right now, I'm listening to my mother scream at my brother and my brother destroy things that I worked to buy.

Yay, family. It's okay, I don't mind spending what little money I make at my job to fix my things. I don't mind staying in my room because I'm too afraid to leave. It's all good, bro.

That feeling when you switch toothpastes, and the new one tastes like shit for a week.

Ugh. Brushed with Crest for ten years. Switched to Sensodyne for like six months, and now my mouth acts like Crest is this malevolent invader.

So, my sweethearts abusive ex wants to be friends now.

Er.

What kills me the most is that he wants 'the past to be in the past' and to 'get to know me.'

He screamed at, berated, and threatened a sweet, charming, wonderful woman over a fucking video game. I can't count the number of times he's put her down to the point that I have to reassure her that she isn't a terrible, worthless sack of shit. That's how he treats her, and then turns around and wants to call her 'the love of his life.'

Can you fucking believe this?

And now he wants to be friends. No thanks, you handicapped cunt scab, I see how you treat your 'friends.'

But hey, at least it's a step away from having my shit broken. I'd prefer not to repeat yesterdays panic attack episode.

Get ready, America.

I'm coming for you.

>>12281
Reading this, I heard 'I'm Coming Out' by Diana Ross playing in my head. Hope you enjoy your trip!

So I'm started to get back in TF2 after a long, unintentional hiatus. I thought I'd pop back into the Chan to see how everyone's doing.

I missed you guys.

>>12286

Anyone know how to file a noise complaint? Jesus Christ. 2AM on a Tuesday. Who the fuck does this?!

>>12289
Whenever we've had a noise complaint, we've contacted the local police station rather than call 911. Sadly, it often turned out the people had a permit. As for 'who does this' - selfish, inconsiderate douchenozzles.

>>12291
They also have a campfire in their yard, and it's illegal here, to have an open fire within city limits.

And it turned into four in the morning. They're blasting it again, now, at 10:30. Do they not realize this is a residential neighbourhood, with small children, and people who work on a weekday?

If it goes on again tonight, I'm calling the cops. I need my sleep.

>>12294
I support you 100%. It's common courtesy and I can't imagine it's legal, by any stretch of the imagination.

>>12297
I checked out sound by-laws on the community website. Apparently loud music is not permitted EVER, and any sort of loud noises (power tools, revving engines, etc.) are prohibited between the hours of 9 PM and 7 AM.

So yeah. If they do it again, I'm calling the cops on their asses. That $50-$200 fine will teach them to be better neighbours.

ALSO. Our streetlight has been out for literally two months. Called city hydro about it, and they said they had a work order. Well, I guess the workers were down the street today, and my dad stopped to talk to them. Apparently they had no idea. But they said they'll come and fix the light within a few days.
Is it really so hard for a receptionist to take down a proper message? Two months our street has been black as pitch. Jeez.

>>12299
Ahhh yeeeeah.

>>12288

Someone was going on and on last night about how everyone's privileged, selfish, racist, and does everything for themselves, and (despite the fact that I generally avoid this topic and politics in general like the plague) I just snapped and responded, as politely as I could, that not everyone's bad, that people stand up for the equal rights of others, that maybe some people are, in fact, good and have good intentions.

Immediately people jumped down my throat and called me a liar and a fool, and I'm just sitting here shaking and feeling awful.

I just...I was raised thinking I was a bitch for disagreeing with people, even if I said "[x] isn't a thing I'm interested in, nothing personal". People, especially my parents, jump down my throat every time I speak up on anything. But it makes me uneasy to think that some people are so mistrusting and cynical of the entire world. How can you have friends and relationships and a job if you think everyone's so shit?

>Go to Wal-mart at 5:25 in the morning to beat the record high temps,find Little Debbie guy restocking and ask why Wal-mart doesn't carry Banana Twins.
Turns out it's because they carry the "Banana Pudding" Snack cake instead of it, which basically looks like a Banana Snack cake Swiss Roll. BUT
He's gonna put in a special request order for me and put them behind this one product on a black Shelf unit were he's allowed to put anything. HNNNG. Normally my mom has to go to a store somewhat out of the way for her and buy them for me, since only some stores carry them.
Banana Twins are my childhood,I am so excite.
My mom used to buy them for herself at first because she couldn't have chocolate at the time,but I ended up liking them more then the chocolate snack cakes.

Middle-aged men who bitch about their life on facebook like teenage girls really bug me.

'Wahh, we've had two days of rain this month, therefore it's terrible.'
'Wahh, my daughter wants an expensive toy. Kids these days!'

He actually referred to his daughter as 'Aspergers girl'. Not 'my daughter with Aspergers'. Aspergers girl. I don't even have it, and I still think it's offensive.

I'm 19 years old and I just graduated highschool. In my freshman year, my mom and dad went through a long, nasty and unnessisary divorce. My mom took me to live with her and I'm ready to go home. (She took us out of state away from Dad) I have no money and no idea how to be a grown up, and my mom doesnt either. She lives off her parents and its just not good. I'm not happy where mom took me to live. And I want to live with my dad until I can get my own flat/apartment/place.

I just need advice on how to tell my mom I'm done living with her and her abusive mother. Can you guys help me? I have a horrible way with words and I would appreciate it so much.

>>12312

Maybe have your dad back you up. Legally, you can move out whenever you want at your age. You just have to be very firm about it and not give in.

>>12312
>>12313
As a kid who grew up through two divorces, let me suggest that you NOT involve your Dad. A lot of the time, that is the WORST thing you can do and stirs up a whole mess of bad feelings, and if he doesn't come through, you're up shit creek without a paddle. I don't have a solution for you, but unless you're INCREDIBLY sure your dad can help, do something different than this.

The thing is I'm with my dad now, and my mom's pretty messed up.My aunt also supports me, and she'd take me in any day. I just need a way to tell my mom before the 18th. How should I word it? Should I say "I want to live in Texas. I'll be back for my stuff soon." Or what?

>>12312

When your explaining it to your mom, try to make it seem like you just really like texas. Try to make it not seem about her.

I'll do that. I'll just say I'm very unhappy where she lives.

>>12311
Middle-aged and older guys are bitchy as hell. It's like a valve opens up. I look forward to being that age. :p

>>12303
Internet's got some mindblowingly antisocial people on it. Kind of obvious, the internet's the only place that really has anything for people like that.
They also use their perception of other people to justify the fact that they're complete pissfucks themselves.

I stopped talking to someone almost a year ago because she was lying to me (and then getting furious when I called her out on it), guilt-tripping me over things I didn't do, and openly admitted to hating me just because she wanted to be better friends with someone than I was. I apologized profusely and left her alone, knowing the apology wouldn't help.

Nice to know she still has a public hissyfit when my name comes up on reblogs or art requests for artists we mutually like on Tumblr. She's what, 17? 18?

I've never actually attempted suicide, but this is bringing me back to the low point I was years ago where I wanted so badly to die. I can't stand people getting furious at me over anything, I feel massively guilty over it, especially since I remember how nice she initially was when we met.

I went to my university for my new student orientation today. I'd never been there before except for a weekend visiting my ex boyfriend, during which I didn't get to see the school, only his dorm.
I have to say, even without knowing much about the school besides that they have the program I want, I chose the right school. I registered for my courses, registered for Frosh Week, and now I'm just waiting for these next couple months to pass. Fuck yeah, university instincts. Y'done good.
I know there's likely no fellow Nipissing U students on here, but if there are I'll toss my email up here since I'd love to get into contact with like-minded people before I move in.

I might have a job sculpting teeth. I have no clue how to feel about that.

>>12341
Definitely unique,though.

My sweetheart saw me nude for the first time today. She laughed. And kept laughing.

I give up.

>>12348
i can think of worse reactions

>>12350

Well, yeah, but jeeze...

Although, I've learned I can't be pretty. At least I can be a punchline, amIrite?

I've got a serious preoccupation with death now, and I'm not entirely sure why. I'm almost constantly worrying 'What if I died right now?' and the impact it would have on my family, and friends. A lot of the time I worry about how all my online friends would even find out, since most of them don't even know my real name. It's upsetting. I know I shouldn't worry about that kind of stuff, since I'm only 23, and with no major medical concerns of any kind, but I mean, murderers, and wayward buses, you know? Anyone can die at any time, and leave their families behind.

And then I wonder what death is really like. Do we even know we're dead? Or do we just go on with our lives, thinking we're still living them? Do we get reincarnated? Do we go to heaven? I'm sorry, but being forced to be in a place where my friends and families aren't isn't heaven to me.

I just... what's wrong with me? Am I crazy for worrying about death like this?

>>12352
There's nothing wrong with that. It's a major part of life with no definite answers, so it's normal to spend a lot of time wondering about it.
Now for my feelings:
I had a dream that included someone I once loved, and thought I had gotten over. I told my friend (who is also friends with said someone) about the dream, and he decided he would make it his mission to get us back on speaking terms. He said that that it was not that she did not like me at all, but that she was afraid of me. I have never had anyone fear me before. I know I was an idiot, but I never intended to frighten anyone, and I would never intentionally harm anyone I care about. I guess I just did not know much about what other people might find frightening. Suddenly, I have been feeling much regret over what has happened.

>>12353
But is it normal for it to literally be every day, several times a day, and be nearly sent into a panic attack over it? Several times I've had to lie at work and say my eyes are watery because of allergies- THAT'S how upset I end up getting.

>>12354

I get paranoid, almost ridiculous notions that I'm going to die. I get them at night, right as I sleep. I spend the night watching the TV trying to calm myself because I think I'm going to die in my sleep. I wish I can call it normal, but it's not. I don't know if you suffer what I have. But if it's disrupting your life, (like you said you get these thoughts at work) you should consider talking to someone. Friend, family, counselor, loved one. These thoughts are not normal, not when they scare you into panic.

>>12355
I get them as I go to bed, too, more often than anything. And I've been to counselors before for other issues (poor self image, anger issues when I was younger), and they've never helped before. Plus there's waiting lists, and I don't have insurance.

Honestly just talking about it here helps. To know I'm not completely alone in this, you know?

>>12356

You too huh? I went to a counselor once. I didn't find her helpful. I find that distractions help a bit, like craft projects. I'm making a braided carpet. Even thinking about something you're looking forward to, like a trip or outing or event or something. Or watching a funny movie or show. I can't tell you how many times watching MST3k has helped quell the shakes and null the senses. I still feel like crap mind you, from lack of sleep. Just remember to be rational about these thoughts. Like mine for example, are usually delusional. "I swallowed a cherry pit! My insides will melt! No, it takes about a couple of hundred to do that, relax. It was just one" something like that. If you're a healthy whatever old, your chances of dying are very slim. It's good to be concerned about your body and health, but don't constantly worry about it. Go for normal checkups to the medic and you'll be alright. 8)

>>12357
Idea: Starting a Livestream service.

Whenever a TF2Channer is feeling nervous or insecure, we can make sure someone's streaming something, either art or MST3k or something like that so they can join in.

>>12358
I'm in favor of this idea. I, myself, am currently in a depression rut. Mostly because I still find myself in the situation of trying to find friends outside the internet that shame similar interests as me, and the only ones I've found live out of state and only means of seeing them is online or when I go to the only local convention I attend once a year. Livestreaming is great in that I can interact with people beyond instant text messages on a IM or e-mail, etc. They're also great 'cheer-me-ups'.

So yeah, I'm totally for a livestream service to help out this awesome community! People may say bad things about this place, but I still find it a safe haven to bring me better spirits with fanart and fanfiction.

>>12356
>>12355
The life expectancy for Canadians is 80.4 years, so at least there's some small comfort in statistics.

>>12359
If a couple other people join in, I'd love to help start it up, Nothing gets me out of a depressive rut better than planning things.

I know in terms of show streams, several shows stick out in my mind as being popular. Namely The Venture Bros, Transformers: Prime, My Little Pony, and MST3k.

A bunch of people Livestream art, and we could also iScribble.

We can also get people to stream games and movies- my girlfriend's been streaming Bastion, Terraria, and Bioshock for me, for example, and that's been fun. She could also LS us playing Minecraft and TF2...

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
I'm puking from the flu,
Happy birthday to me.

I have been considering online dating lately, as my odds of meeting anyone offline low, not zero, but since I rarely go anywhere alone, it is unlikely. But I am paranoid and therefore distrustful of anyone that I must go somewhere specifically to meet them for the first time. And I still can not get it out of my head that online dating is for old losers who have given up all hope. I am a young loser that has only given up some hope.

I've been dieting for the past two weeks and I've lost five pounds, yay. But it kinda can kiss my ass. I had a dream about food last night. It was a giant hamburger from 5 guys. It was pure happiness in a bun but then I finished it. I saw the calorie count and it looked like I had gained ten pounds.

Fuck me.

>>12364
Wow! Congrats on the weight loss. Sorry to hear about the dream though.

>>12354
I get paranoia fits like that periodically; during my high school years, I had a series of huge panic attacks during that made my parents decide that maybe I should take a little break. I've had them since, but never to that degree. Of course, it leaves me fatigued, which in turn makes me more paranoid that death's going to get me. It's a vicious cycle like that, at least for me it is. I have to agree that Watson has the right idea, though. I just wish I had some advice to make up for lost sleep.

>>12361
>>12359
>>12358
What a cool idea!

>>12352
I've been thinking about it a lot for the past month for obvious reasons, but in my case it's mostly about how a human body looks after dying. Maybe that's why I'm also more fascinated about robotics (and the ability to block some thought processes/delete selected memories). I'd gladly change most of my body into mechanics if not all if it was possible on a satisfying level (or just stick to burning it to ashes, this one is certain).

That feeling when you've got a major writing boner, and no one to share it with.

HURG someone discuss character development in my new piece with me! UNF.

Also, McDonalds needs to tell their employees to stop forcibly giving me yogurt. Don't tell me you can't substitute it with apples. I see them right there on the goddamn sign. I'm lactose-intolerant, bitch. I tolerate no lactose, and I will tolerate no bullshit.

Sorry. Felt like being hardcore for a second there, before I go off to play with my Happy Meal toy.

I'm gonna try for calarts for next year

please use your collective minds to give me hooooooope

>>12395
Oh man, I always dreamed of going there. Alas, I live in Australia and have to go to some cheap imitation college.

Best of luck though! I'm sure it will work out.

Why does it seem like at least one of my online friends, at any given time, wants to kill themselves?

What do.

>>12397
Shitty as it sounds, I'm actually in the same boat a lot of the time!
You're not alone, dear Izzy.

Someone who had the gutz to tell me I was important to them is replacing me with someone else because I'm not good enough. I hate people so much right now.

>>12398
Hurray! We all have depressed friends!

We should RP sometime. I miss you.

>>12400
We totally should
I just feel like sometimes I'm invading on peoples' REAL LIFE STUFF when I bother them for rp

>>12400
We totally should
I just feel like sometimes i'm intruding on peoples' REAL LIFE STUFF when I bother them for rp, so I've become less active as an rper which is PRETTY UNCOOL of me

>>12402
>>12400
3some rp nao

Yes.

I finally got a job. Sure it's just a contract job, boring as hell, and I have to get up 4 hours earlier than I usually do, but it pays above minimum wage, is airconditioned, and gives much needed job experience so hopefully I won't have to settle for working at Jack in the Box when this is through.
And I seem to have patched things up with one of my best friends who hasn't spoken to me in months.

So yeah, I'm reasonably content at the moment.

>>12404

Good for you! I bet you'll do great

ugh the sex thread auto saged so I'll put this here.

I'm 20 years old, and still a virgin. This makes me feel really weird and I'd like to talk about it.

>>12407
23 and I've never even kissed anyone, if that makes you feel any better.

>>12403
I'd be up for that, actually.

>>12407
I replied to it, but I'll repost it here. Gonna make a new thread too since I have a question inspired by your post.

re: your actual post - Nothing wrong with that. I'm 19, turning 20 before the year's out, and as far as I'm concerned I'm a virgin.

>>12409
Wait till I move so I can actually get on steam/skype/whatever other messenger y'all wanna use
then we can DO ITTTT

My dad says its totally fine for me to transfer, but I need to finish out the year first, because it's better money wise that way or something to do with scholarships.

But I just wanna move on ya know? I feel stuck, I just wanna leave and be an adult already and AUGH

>>12406
My entire job so far is fixing the mistakes of my predecesor. At least I can't do worse than her.

So yes, adventures and lessons in Frankfurt!
So get off plane, then arrive at hotel area. Turns out my aunt booked one in the red light district... oh boy. Hour after arriving, be attacked by a prostitute when I don't want none of her "Bow-jubs" So I scramble. Go into a bar where a girl sits next to me and the woman behind the bar asks "You buy drink for nice girl yes?" but I've seen this scene, and quickly finish my cola and get the hell outta there, but not before being confronted by Molestria, the mole queen about not liking her girls. AT that point, called it a night and slept. Next day is interview with Nintendo. YAY! I see the city on my way and slowly realise that Frankfurt is the red light district of Germany for the most part with a gleaming business centre. The interview goes really well I think, nice and friendly staff as well. Then its back to the city where I proceed to bake in the sun as I wander, even spotting the hooker from before with her pimp, but at this point I'm just nopeing it outta there.

So lessons learned? Don't go to Frankfurt.

>>12420

Yikes, be careful. You'd be shocked at how easy it is to pick up a prostitute on accident.

In other news, my sweetheart is a saint for helping me these past few days. There's nothing like losing your job and having to move back in with Mom, only to discover that she needs everything you make to keep herself afloat.

Needless to say, I've been stressed.

That feeling when you try to RP with someone you've barely talked to for years, and you can't agree on ANYTHING. Feels bad man.

I can't get facade to work on my computer

this is not okay

More in the saga of 'Disaster Follows Me Wherever the Fuck I Go.'

Moved back in with Mom, give her the majority of my paycheck, only to discover yesterday that the landlord sold our house.

So I'm moving to Texas, to be with Ariel. Her parents have a room I can rent.

I'm going to have to sell my turtle, because she can't travel with me. I'm also going to have to sell my Mac (being the only computer who's stuck by me longer than any other machine) and buy a laptop.

I'm going to ride the Greyhound bus from Gainesville, GA, to Corpus Christi, TX.

Let's see how long I'm there before I manage to fuck that up too.

So I can't breathe. This is fun. I've never dealt with breathing problems before this summer, but this is almost like asthma, and only triggered by humidity.
Anyone got any help for me?

Do you ever feel like you don't really have any close freinds? And do you ever wonder why, or whats wrong with you to make people not like you?

How does someone even BE social anyway?

>>12428
Well it can't always be bad can it? Surely it will eventually get better.

After watching a makeup artist competition show on Out TV (The Gay channel, if you couldn't figure it out from the name), I've come to a conclusion.

I have no problems with gay men, if they are normal people, normal guys, who just like sex with other men. Hell, even if they like to cook, and sew, and watch chick flicks, I'm okay with them. However, if a gay man dresses like Lady Gaga and acts like a bitchy girl from Real Housewives of New York, then I have to change the channel. Cannot deal.
The guy's name is Maxi, too, and I can thing of is maxi pads.

>>12433

what

>>12433

That actually DOES sound like you problems with gay men, and your trying to rationalize it and it sounds like "as long as they dont step out of line then it's fine!"

I mean, its totally cool to not care for over top flamboyancy, but you shouldn't have a problem with it purely because a gay guy is doing it. If you have a problem with that stuff it should apply to everyone, not just gay guys.

>>12433

You do understand it's a reality show right? (I'm assuming it is at least) They often tell these people to act as wild and ridiculous as possible. And it's easy to edit it to appear so. And if people want to act like Lady Gaga, they are into theatrics. Their ego is often played up in front of strangers and the camera.

On another note, just had a Dinosaurs marathon in my blanket fort. Best night I ever had. Feelin' fine.

OH GOD IM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER HOW DID I GET HERE

(USER WAS A SACK OF DICKS)

>>12435
Honestly, if I knew any straight men that acted that way, I'd probably hate them, too. So I really don't think it's anything to do with the sexuality.
I dunno. Find me a straight man that acts like that, and I can compare, but until then, all I've got to go on is a gay guy who cries when his client's makeup runs (and no, not exaggerating), and wears a disco-ball for a hat.

I might be okay with the flamboyancy if women are doing it, though. I find they can get away with more in my eyes, for some reason. The bitchiness always bothers me, of course, but I have no problem with Lady Gaga. She's fucked up as hell, but you gotta admit, her outfits are interesting.

So, I woke up sick, Snuggletooth had a cheek infection that I had to drain and clean, and my ex's grandmother called me a sick bitch.

She kept spamming me with all kind of ads, and I used to send her polite little emails letting her know her account was probably hacked, and that she needed to do something about it. Not too long ago, I got another 10 emails from her in one day, and I finally told her to knock it the fuck off, delete me, and never contact me again.

Her response was, and I quote "they must have a old list cuz i deletted ur sick ass along time ago bitch dont mail me again."

Um, it isn't my fault your grandson was a pedo and ugly as fuck. Stop spamming me and get over yourself.

I want to pick a lot of you up and cuddle you when things go bad, but we haven't talked much so I don't wanna seem weird or creepy. (Especially you, Kit- you remind me of a good friend of mine, to the point where I actually thought you were her, until I realized your girlfriends had different names.)

Also, I'm still interested in starting up that Livestream network, but I don't know how many would be interested.

>>12439
internalized misogyny

being bitchy and overdramatic is a "female thing"
it's considered a general negative by society but it's way less negative if a woman does it because "eh, women, that's just how they are"
a man doing it is not only acting in a generally negative manner, he's also acting like a woman, a double-bad for double points

note: internalized
means it's not your fault consciously
means don't get upset because i'm not saying you're some kind of woman-hating redditor MRA i'm just saying you're a product of a misogynistic society the same as the rest of us are

your next step is to continue to think about how you feel and why and see what you get out of that and whether you can reconcile yourself to it being alright for a man to express feminine-coded behaviours

>>12444
To a degree, I can. I work in theatre, so I'm no stranger to guys acting effeminate, but there's definitely a limit to it, for me. Wearing Mardi Gras masks in public when it's not Mardi Gras falls under that.

>>12443
Not gonna lie; I got warm and fuzzy for a moment.

I have no clue how livestreaming works, sadly, so I'm no help here..

>>12443

Well...i'm okay with that, i guess.

My bfriend is always saying to me to open up more/talk to people (hard thing to do, in or out the internet)...so, i guess i should start with this, especially because, when i lurk around here, i read about problems and opinions that i have some experience with. And, although i refrain to say anything around, i kind of have this little desire to talk... but i always prevent myself of doing so because of...lots of things.

But maybe with this little incentive, things may change.

So, it's a feelin' of "hey...maybe this will work, after all. Maybe it'll not be so bad".

I support this idea. =3 If i can help somehow, please tell me.

(sorry about any bad english)

>>12447
Are you Error...as in from Tumblr?

Because if so, I just want to let you know that my girlfriend (the girl who draws Mick) adores your art, and so do I. You're incredibly talented.

>>12448

Oh no, dear. I don't even have a tumblr (i'm just an envious lurker around there, hehe).

I'm sorry.

>>12448
It's fine, just thought I'd ask since you both have the same username and are from the same region. :)

>>12446
I'm glad I made you feel warm fuzzies! (What's your Tumblr, btw?)

Livestream isn't that difficult! I stream a little art on there myself, and sometimes me playing games.

>>12451
I don't have one, because I have no artistic talent to speak of, so me having a Tumblr would be kind of pointless.

Onto feels; I'm crying because of what I've had to put Snuggletooth through these past few days. I've had to 1.) open the infection bump with a needle, 2.) press the pus out, and 3.) give her salt soaks and apply rubbing alcohol. She's in a terrible amount of pain, I can tell, but there's honestly nothing I can do for it, and it kills me that she's actually gotten to the point where she hides from me.

Finally got a great shrink, too bad it's a tad expensive (gonna roll 270 tomorrow for 2 more sessions), but their major plus is that they'll help to separate important/true thoughts from just random associations that might trigger bad mood/memories without the magic pills that could ruin my metabolism system.
Also I need to stop thinking about gross scenes, I have a lot of positive thoughts connected to them through said associations now and it makes me sad. It kinda triggered the need to see a psychiatrist, but it was long overdue (and I've seen Grudge, Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead and Dead Snow and nothing bothered me as much as Gyo did, perhaps because I want to stop projecting those images on real people, I've never had this problem before. Also yeah kinda frustrated that it makes overweight people look horrible). At least I felt good after the first session.

Also finally got a 22'' monitor, major improvement from the 1440x900 one, gotta work hard to finally get a decent, steadily paying job and not rely on contests.

>>12452
Also tumblr isn't only for art, of course you can appreciate art of other people there, upload gifs, music etc or just work with text posts.

I think I've resigned myself to the fact that, no matter what, my sweetheart is never really going to be mine.

Granted, I don't want to be the only person in her life...but I don't think being her only lover would be too much to ask.

I'm moving there in four months, and I just tried to talk to her about what's going to happen with that abusive son of a bitch she's still seeing.

She won't talk to me about it.

What am I supposed to do, sit at home while she's out with him? Know that he's touching her, kissing her...it makes me sick.

All I've ever wanted was a happy relationship with myself and one other person. I am apparently not even worth that.

>>gushing over an artist who draws very masculine men and very butch women
>>"why do you find these women attractive, they're overweight and masculine, do you have a mental disorder"

I hate the kinds of people who say this.

How did I even twist my ankle I DON'T DO ANYTHING EVER
Seriously - how the fuck did this happen.
I'm just laying in bed, and suddenly it starts hurting and throbbing and it's swollen now and idkkk...?

>>12457
maybe you didn't.keep an eye on your body temp. maybe it is infected somehow?
/brother had a septic hip when he was younger, not fun.:C

>>12457
doesn't matter that you dont do anything, all it takes is one bade step...

hell, i fractured my ankle running on perfectly flat ground without so much as a stumble

Bye job!

Officially unemployed. Thrilled. I never have to get up at six in the morning again, unless the house is on fire. And even then...

After 5 long years, I've returned to the realm of PC ownership.

This means I can play vidya again

THIS MEANS I CAN PLAY VIDYA AGAIN

I have been on and off this site for years, and also had some problems on this ongoing thread that you guys helped me out with and even with no responses on some things it was just nice to be able to get it out somewhere I wouldn't be judged. You all are so awesome. Neptune bless you guys.

>>12465
Anon, I...

So, I went out of my way to get a birthday gift for a freind, and she acted like it was annoying or something. God dammit I'm so sick of my friends acting like assholes. Just say thank you for fucks sake. We're slose enough where this shouldn't be awkward but you always manage to make it awkward fuck fuck fuck

How the hell does someone make friends that don't suck and what are the warning signs that someone is going to suck?

I have so many socializing problems I'm such a fucking social derp sometimes I swear

what the fuck is wrong with me and why don''t people like me. I wish I could see whatever it is so I could stop doing it

>>12478

No but seriously how does someone gauge there own social skills? I feel like Im killing all my close relationships and I have no idea what Im doing wrong or how to stop whatever it is Im doing?

What the hell is wrong with me and why can't I make friends easily? Am I just a douche and I don't realize it?

>>12479
I haven't had the exact same issues as you, but I don't have more than two or three friends and I have a hell of a time making new ones/keeping the old ones no matter how quiet, helpful, outgoing, engaging, inquisitive, nice or whatever I am. (If I'm myself, people seem weirded out. If I'm the opposite, people seem weirded out.) Of my limited number of friends, they only come back into contact with me when they need something. They don't reply to emails, IMs or phone calls until that point. Or they change their phone number, etc. without letting me know.

I think some people are just going to suck and that's something that's not easy to judge right off the bat. People change over time and grow up and apart.

Then again, it could be you, but I'd like to think most people can recognize when they're being a raging douche. Step back and look at your behavior as objectively as you can. Then, maybe try talking it out with your friend(s) about how you feel. If you're as close as you mentioned, that shouldn't hurt any. Hopefully.

Email's in the name, if you ever need an ear/eye.

>>12482

Thanks for the help

>go to aunt's house,spend the night
>come home, fridge has kicked it,everything is spoiled
GODDAMMIT.

D e v i a n t a r t pisses me off so much sometimes. It's just filled to the brim with stupid and unwillingness to learn from others, or even basic human decency.

I know you could say that about any website, but I feel like DA encourages it.

>>12486
Someone's never been to tumblr.

>>12487

To be fair, tumblr can be a little bit better

I agree, but I've had an almost unfairly good run on Tumblr. All the people I follow are the chillest of the chill, and I've never even seen any legit drama on there. IT'S GREAT.

I'm still trying to get a handle on it - I can never remember to tag stuff, and I'm not sure how to go about doing things like putting up my stories on it, but so far, I count myself lucky to know so many awesome peeps on Tumblr.

DA, though...

Looking back, I can't really say anything I've done on DA has served me in the long run - even considering my relative "popularity" on it. I liked starting over on the Chan with a more mature audience.

Wow I tend to rant a lot at 3 am who wudda thunk

>>12488
of course it is. there's no unwillingness to learn on tumblr because no matter what you do, how bad your art is, how completely out of touch your beliefs are or how absurd you sound when you claim you're a pan-dimensional omnisexual angel-wolf or whatever there will be someone to pat you on the back

no one needs to learn because everyone is aspecial snowflake amazing artist

I like hoping for the best in people and that it is genuinely being nice on Tumblr, not butt-patting.

I have had several people redline my art there, which I am greatful for, compared to zero (and several trolls) on dA. Not that dA is completely horrible, though, it's just that weirdly enough the site that isn't intended as an art site is more receptive for crit.

My only beef with Tumblr is that sometimes people unfollow you for making any kind of post about your life, even if you're saying "I went somewhere and it was fun", not whining.

>>12492
the difference being that on tumblr things get around outside of their initial circle more readily and if your shitty art or strange and culturally-appropriative "identity" get reblogged outside of your social circle then you will in fact get criticism

and/or dogpiling from strangers

there's less insulation to the hugbox on tumblr, but it cuts both ways

(posting something dumb/bad will get you criticized, but criticizing something dumb/bad will also get you criticized)

that's still better than No One Daring To Criticize Anyone For Anything Ever tho

>>12496
Aaah. I've actually never seen these guys who identify as wolves or as ethnicities they aren't or anything, I've seen a lot of trans* guys and girls, though, and I consider that legit.

I see less people being actually shitty artists and more really awesome ones who just don't get attention. I am sorry if I hugboxed anyone, but I feel bad whenever anyone says "hello, I am sad, could I have a hug please". But then again I like most people and most peoples' art, so I am probably not the best source on this.

I do think people are bad at receiving crit, but it is moreso people going "I am not going to become a professional artist anyways, only art students should get critique". But this is not a Tumblr problem as much as it is a human one.

>>12499
>and I consider that legit.

congratulations on not being an complete asshole!

i would give you a gold star but i've already posted it

>>12500
I'm afraid to ask what I did that was assholish. I'm sorry for it, though.

>>12502

Don't worry about it, you didn't do any thing wrong.

My family is mildly worried about my 2-year-old cousin having autism or aspergers or something, based on symptoms that I think can be shrugged off, but I'm not sure:

Symptom 1, based off of what my friend with aspergers says she does, and what others like her often do- walking on tiptoes.
He was unable to walk steadily for a long time because of it.
Symptom 2- things with wheels. He could care less about blocks, books, or stuffed animals. only cars, trucks, or trains. Always, and he just sits there, focusing on them, playing with them for hours.

Thoughts? I personally think he's fine- he's cuddly and happy like any other baby, but he sometimes tiptoes, and is ridiculously obsessed with trucks. That's all.

Snuggletooth's dying, everyone. Her abscess has gotten even worse, and now her cheek is broken where the infection is eating away at her bone structure.

At this point, there's nothing I can do.

I'm going to have to put her to sleep.

I'm a cynic hiding under a thick shell of optimism because I'm afraid to accept that the world sucks a lot of the time and that people will not stop being homophobic or deragatory against women or other peoples' religions and shit.

I want people to change and I can't even change my own life, let alone others'.

Fuck. I have no idea what to do.

>>12507

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I know how hard that is, two of my pets passed away last summer.

>>12507

I'm so sorry, too. It's good, though, that you have the courage to think what is better for Snuggletooth (and not make her suffer slowly till the end). I congratulate you.

Be strong. I don't know if you already had passed through such horrible experience, but...you will need it (i know the feeling. I do).

Good luck.

>>12510
I'm with you, too. I'm sorry about your (bird?). I lost my dear pet rat this passed January, so I know how hard that can be. I'm sure Snuggletooth will be happier wherever she has gone.

Bless.

Been kind of disappointed in myself about my lack of inspiration to get past this killer Writer's block I've been having.

But then today, I realized that, just because I'm not writing, it doesn't mean I can't contribute to the site!

Things are getting interesting - the whole MvM update has brought back TONS of oldfags and newfags into the fandom again - and the site, too, by extension. I might be one person, but I'm going to do all I can to be a cheerleader and encourage people to make more stuff - whatever it might be!

It doesn't mean I'm going to be all hugboxxy - I'm not going to PRAISE things I despise just for the sake of being "nice" - I've just decided to put forth the effort of ACTUALLY COMMENTING when I see something I like (something I'm sure a lot of us are guilty of not doing!).

If anyone's with me, I'd love having help to get this place bustling like it used to be!

ALSO MY CAPTCHA IS IN COMIC SANS HALP

>>12512

I got some new ideas for stories I've been tweaking on. I agree that people need to critique more often on this site. But the drama is overwhelming at times. It's why I avoid it all.

In other news, I'm studying for my drivers test, and all I want to do is play video games.

There is something wrong with my mind. Something that should not be. I can feel it. But I don't know what. Just an overall sense of wrongness.
And I hate it.

>>12513
>>12510
>>12509

So, I took her to the herp vet today. He told me to wait one more week.

She's on painkillers in the meantime, but I wish he hadn't asked me to wait...

I'm so afraid that I'm going to get my hopes up, just to see her get sicker and sicker.

Her shell's peeling, which is normal for her age, but it's in chunks instead of scales. Her body simply can't hold up anymore.

I'm giving her calcium to try and help her rebuild herself, but I don't know if she'll pull through...

I'm just so scared, guys.

>>12517

For how long is she with the inflammatory process and infection? When did you notice it?

Did he take a look at her mouth? What he asked you and what he explained to you about the whole thing?

Did he take a sample of the secretion?

She is a chelonian, isn't she? Their metabolisms are pretty slow...so infections and stuff evolve slowly as well. Maybe it's because of this he's asking for you to wait.

What he prescribed to her?


(i'm thinking now that i'm acting too rude, perhaps. I'm sorry. If you don't want to answer, don't bother, please)

>>12518
Well, I noticed a week ago. Since then, I'd been draining the wound, cleaning it out, and giving her oral antibiotics.

The vet wants me to bring her in for antibiotic shots every other day.

He didn't swab the infection site, but he opened it and cleaned it again.

And the painkillers are a shot as well. It's just something like baby aspirin, he said. Those shots she gets daily, and i have to administer them myself.

>>12519

I reread what you said before and you mentioned an abscess (sorry i didn't do this before. I'm so dumb). What it's aspect? Does it looks/feels like some kind of solid mass?

You see, abscesses in chelonians are very firm and very "cheesy", due to the fact they lack some enzymes in their immunological system that degrades the pus. They must be removed surgically...

Has your vet told you something like this? Or he diagnosed something else?

One week is "early" to say that she will die or not. Her healthy condictions before were okay, right (balanced diet, correct hygienic handling, etc?)

Well, anything, ask him, really. Don't be afraid to do so (to look dumb or something like this).

Good luck, i'm rooting for you both.

>>12520
I did a fair amount of research before taking her to the vet.

I asked him about removing it surgically, and he said he wouldn't. She's too small for him to do it safely.

I know a week is early, but when I took her in, the right side of her face had collapsed inwards.

She seems to be recovering, though...she's eating more, now, and isn't sleeping as much.

Preoccupation with death anxiety attack's back. Why is it always right before my period? Does my body know my eggs are slowly dying one by one or something? WTF.

There's an eleven-year old vocal prodigy on TV, and she's fucking amazing at singing, and I'm just sitting here, like 'Welp. I quit.'

Is it bad, though, that I feel better about the fact that her diction isn't the best? She can't do D's and T's well. Her phrasing is beautiful, but her diction sucks, and mine is good, so I feel better about myself.

>>12526
Do not base your confidence in your abilities on the skills of others. There is always someone better.

Unless you're officially the best, I guess.

>>12527
Yes, but she's eleven, and she's ridiculously better than anyone I've ever seen, except in terms of diction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVGrcy8wQHk&feature=fvst

LOOK AT HER. SHE'S INCREDIBLE.

AND NOW LISTEN TO ME.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj5QJLA7qxk

Nowhere near the same, in terms of skill, and she's literally half my age.

Just...holy fuck. And it just makes me feel worse because I keep trying to work on these acapella projects and they keep turning out shiiit.

>>12528
Come now, your singing is pretty good. No reason to feel bad about it.
But you are right, that child is unusually good. An anomaly. Do not let her talent make you feel less of yourself. She is obviously a robot.

>>12529
Fifty bucks says she's the next terminator.

Just runs around with a machine gun, operatically belting "Come with me if you want to LIIIIIIVE".

>>12532
DAMN STRAIGHT! NOW ARE YOU GOING TO LET SOME KILLBOT BRING YOUR SINGING SKILLS INTO QUESTION? OR ARE YOU GOING TO STAND UP AND YELL "I AM IZ WHAT'SYERLASTNAME, AND THESE ROBOTS COULDN'T OUT-SING ME EVEN IF THEY WERE BUILT BY THE GALAXY'S GREATEST SINGER!" AND THEN RUN OFF AND KICK THEIR ROBO-ASSES WITH YOUR SUPER-VOICE LIKE YOU WERE THE DOVAHKIIN?

(And I am on my phone, so I can't add a picture, but imagine it is that one of R. Lee Ermy pointing at you and yelling. )

>>12528
Child prodigies eventually plateau and then go on to develop substance addiction in their adult years as they wander through life trying to reclaim the one thing that made them unique. So keep your chin up!

>>12534

SIR NO SIR!

NOW WHO HAS SOME DUCT TAPE? I NEED TO ATTACH MY MICROPHONE TO THIS STAND THAT DOESN'T FIT IT BECAUSE IT'S ALL BEST BUY HAD AND WHY AM I YELLING?

Out of curiosity, you guys remember that art thread we had going? Would you put musical things in that? Because feedback is my friend.

>>12521

For animals that can survive a long time ignoring food, even in natural conditions, eating is a good sign. Eating is always a good sign, hehe.

I hope is everything okay with you guys, now...

>>12532

Well, i'm not well-versed in music, vocal timbres, perfect notes and stuff but i listened you and i think you have a beautiful voice that is pleasant to hear. Like i said, i'm not a knowing person about this, but you have a sweet voice...

Go practice more. You are gifted...
(sorry about the bad english ><)

>>12537

The shots are helping; she's recovering amazingly. I'll post a pic of her when she heals up a bit more.

I found the worlds greatest terrible fanfic on DA today and I am highly hoping i can get someone to do a reading of it, but at the same time, I don't wanna discourage the author because this shits hilarious

Decisions decisions

>>12539
If you post a link to it, I might be able to do a reading of it. 10+ years doing theatre, and everyone's always told me how excellent I am at reading.

A couple of my friends are worrying me.

Now, they know I believe that gender is a spectrum, and you can identify as something different than what you were born as biologically. But one is using the same logic because one of them identifies as physically disabled (when they are not) and the other identifies as a different cartoon character every month or so, claiming online quizzes determine what character she is incarnate.

I want to explain to them that this isn't the same thing, but I don't know how.

>>12542
so a "trans-abled" and otherkin,huh? I'm not sure what to think about the "trans-abled", but as for your otherkin friend:
http://transquest.blogspot.com/2012/05/why-relating-trans-to-otherkin-is-poor.html

>>12543
Thanks. I think that's a really well-written way to say it. I just don't know how to tell her, if at all.

My friend is a MtF transgendered woman, and I support her all the way, but she's been trying to convince me that all of a person's personality is as fluid as gender. When she told me she was also a fictional character incarnate as a human, I told her "You are you and not anyone else." She responded with "we should not subscribe to binary labels sweetheart~"

>>12545
even if someone is an incarnate of someone,they are not that person now.
If that were true my dad would be siegeing the Great Wall or something.(according to a psychic he talked to, he supposedly rode with Genghis Khan or something in a past life.)

My mother, knowing that she can no longer be physically abusive to me, has switched to verbal abuse.

The target? My sweetheart, my future choices...Hell, she even insists that I'm too 'retarded' to take care of myself.

I'm mentally damaged, sure...but that's her fault. I didn't ask her to use drugs while she was pregnant with me. I didn't ask to be beaten.

I have a small speech impediment thanks to her drug use, and I know that I'm lucky I escaped with simply that. She uses this as an example to prove that I'm slow.

I resent this right down to my core.

>>12547
"My mother, knowing that she can no longer be physically abusive to me, has switched to verbal abuse".

...i really wonder if this is a pattern or somethin'.

What's it? Are they afraid that now they lack force to make it hurt? Or maybe afraid of physical retaliation (in my case, the last just doesn't make sense, since i'm very small and weak)?

Well...sorry to relate to your story. You surely has a tougher time than me. Don't want to offend you or somethin' like that...

It's just that i'm too tired.

>>12545

This is just my two cents, but I really cannot grasp fictionkin - but not really for the same reasons as other people. I totally believe that gender is a spectrum, and I can understand and even agree with some otherkin and therians. But the thing that really bugs me about fictionkin is the idea that you 'are' something that someone else created. The creator knows things about that character that no one else does, and therefore, I seriously fail to see how the hell anyone could be an "incarnate" of a character that, at best, only exists on a plane of reality within another person's mind. I try to look at all sides of all identities but I just... cannot get that one.

>>12548

It's because I have friends I can call to come get me, and the cops will actually listen to me now.

She used to beat the ever-living Christ out of me when I was younger. She had support from everyone at Church, though, and couple that with the fact that I fought back and was unruly at school, and the CPS could write it off as me being a 'trouble' child.

The one time I called them, they didn't do anything other than tell me I shouldn't lie about being abused, and offer my mother support classes. Oh, and I was beaten for calling them, too.

She went apeshit on my little brother the other day, though, and I managed to convince him to show the scratches on his shoulders and face to the school counselor. If it happens again, she could be taken into police custody.

I'm still frightened, though, and she's furious at me because I want to leave again. She's discovering that she can't keep me here, so she's turned the energy she used to expend on hitting me into energy for insulting every person in my life that I hold dear and trying to make me feel like I should be ashamed of my stuttering and slurring.

TL;DR: My mother is a calloused, heartless bitch.

Also, don't dismiss the things you're going through, as well. All suffering is relative, and you shouldn't downgrade yourself. :)

>>12550
You have my utmost sympathy. I'm in the same boat- I'm 21, I have depression and paranoia from growing up with parents who physically and verbally abused me, and once I started going to a psychologist, their response was "oh, you're insane, that makes you untrustworthy". They write off every fear I have as insanity or bullshit, and my mom is trying to guilt trip me because she tried to murder me and I called the cops on her. I'm the bad one, and she did nothing wrong. I have nowhere to go, though. My girlfriend lives across the country.

>>12551

That's the way my mother is. All I want is to sustain myself where I can feel safe, and I'm apparently a terrible human being for wanting thus.

I do not have the physical and emotional horrors everyone above me describes. I just have fits of melancholia.

All is well, I have a job, a home, a lover, a semblance of a social life, and still, *still*, I find myself sitting down, curling up, and hiding under a pillow for a few hours until I stop wanting to cry and scream.

I'm not sure quite what's causing it, or what I'm doing wrong. It doesn't follow any pattern, so it's not likely to be tied to my hormonal cycle. It's just... occasional bouts of mind-crushing sadness, surrounded by a feeling that my brain is being suffocated by cotton-wool as my thoughts slow and I stop being able to think, articulate, understand, explain.

I'm a bit worried that my brain is betraying me. I don't want to lose the use of it. Nothing terrifies me more than losing control of my mind.

I feel like my life is going well right now though I want to raise my GPA so I can go to graduate school. My GPA is a 2.68 and I have 3 years to raise it to a 3.0 I feel like I can do it. I feel like I'm worth it.

But is it possible? Can I make this feeling of determination last? What do I do when I feel burned out, or when a teacher asks me to write papers on topics I just don't care about.

I'm excited nervous anxious happy optimistic and scared about my future. I just have so many emotions right now I don't now. i just wanted to spill the beans.

I love my school, (I go to the Milwaukee institute of art and design) and I feel like I learn a lot here, and I feel like my program is god (not the animation or time based media department though. There the only major that sucks, if you wanna be an animator, please don't go to miad.) but at the same time I'm scaaaaaaared.

also I would like to say

>>12552
>>12551

I am so sorry. I am so incredibly sorry your mother is a monster who chose to abuse you instead of cherishing you. I'm so so so sorry that you had to go through that. No one should ever hurt a child. it's taking advantage of something weaker than you so that you can feel in control, so they can feel powerful. There are no excuses for abusing some one, remember that. There are ways to deal with problems that aren't cruel or violent. There is always a nice way to do things.

I also wanna let you know you're special.

>>12553
>>12554
>>12551
>>12548


I forgot to say this; You're all wonderful people, and I'm glad to have met you. :)

If anyone wants to vent or rant to me outside of the 'Chan, my email's in the name.

Suddenly, I got urge to make all people who are in tf2 fandom come to tf2 chan and have a conversation sharing each of their informations.
Many of tf2fans seem to be in tumblr, but they would more easily wathc, read others' works and share ideas and informations if most of them are concentrated in one community like tf2chan.
I don't think the number of people in this fandom decreased. But I feel that the chan has become much more quiet than before it exploded 2 years ago.

>>12557
The question is, wat made tf2chan have become so?
Srsly, I wanna know the reason.

>>12557
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont think that'd be a good idea for reasons i'll let someone else explain

>>12558
i think the origin story is basicly people on /v/ got sick of the founders posting their manporns there so the founder pretty much went "well screw you, we'll make our own imageboard. with blackjack, and hookers"

>>12557
Unrelated to chan drama, though, it's also people falling out of the fandom, finding different ones that interest them more, becoming too busy irl, stuff like that.

>>12555

Thank you very much for saying this... it's good, for once in a while, (try) to help (be somewhat useful) someone. I'm glad that apparently i made you feel well, in some way or another. =3

But, you guys made me wonder: is a impression of mine, or the TF2 fandom attracts people who had some serious issue in some point of their lifes? Or this fandom makes people feel more confortable to talk about it(there's a huge difference in between this two points)?

(And, by serious issues, i mean: physical/sexual abuse, drug problems of some sort, etc?)

I, personally, don't believe that there's more people with this kind of trouble inside this fandom, especifically, than in the others. Maybe , in the other fandoms, there's just no room to talk about as it has in this fandom?

Keep in mind i don't want to be disrespectful to anyone. It's just that i've been thinking about this(especially because every time i take a look around here, there's always some sort of...confession that is like "my uncle abused me when i was young" or something), and i'm curious to read some different opinions.

So, what do you guys think?

Please, keep in mind it's just a question, a curiosity. I don't want to make anyone feel bad.

back in school, nervous about that

first couple of days with my new roommates and theres already drama

I think I'm just not meant to have a drama free social life jesus christ. I didn't do anything, but apparently two of my four roommates are already showing ugly sides to there personalities. Roommate A had her laptop stolen, so she thought saying the N word a couple of times out of frustration is hunky-dorey. Roommate B does not understand the meaning of social fucking ques and doesn't get when you should leave someone alone. me, roommate B and roommate c, console her for a bit, but when it's time to let her be, me and roommate c leave but B wont leave her alone. Aside from the racial slurs, which really made me uncomfy, roommate A managed to calm down.

but noooooo suddenly roommate B thinks A doesn't like her now.

I hate these people already. This semester is going to suck.

Please. Please just shut up both of you, I'm serious. I don't need this stress right now. Oh my god.

how do you deal with roommate drama? I'm actually asking.

>>12564
I definitely know what you mean, I've noticed that a disporportionate amount of the people I've made good friends with on the internet (a lot from TF2chan) have had and/or still have serious issues with their body or mind, and it weirds me out that so many of them have problems when I have none, the biggest issue in my life along those lines being that I'm hard of hearing in one ear. Feels a bit like I'm the odd person, sometimes, that being normal isn't normal in this case.

Then again maybe I'm just too damn awesome and they all look up to me as a shining example of what a great person they can aspire to be. Nah.

>>12565

I'm sorry I need to continue this post, there are a few things I forgot.

I'm so scared. School starts tomorrow and I'm nervous, I'm incredibly nervous. I just wanna go home, I want my best friend to come back, (she's taking a semester off then transferring) , I want to have a place to come to after school that I don't have to hear the N word sprouted by some white girl. I want to have someone whose close to me emotionally.

But I feel like this

Someone who I think is nice at first will turn out to be a gigantic asshole

Someone who is nice to be and loves me will start becoming distant from me

People just wont wanna be around me

Do I have to be a racist homophobic careless douchebag who doesn't care about anyone but themselves to in order not to have a terrible social life, or do I have to give up anything resembling happiness in order to do the right thing.

I just wanted roommates who would let me be. I didn't want this.

Also, I'm sorry for my bitching and moaning, I know this sounds like typical kiddy affair, So my supreme apologies.

>>12567

You won't always be the only reasonable one surrounded by idiots. You won't always be the only geek, or the only non-local, or the only non-racist. You will meet a wonderful range of people, most of whom won't be your flatmates, and some of whom will eventually be your friends.

Tips from when I went to university-
- try to keep things neutral with roommates, if they don't react well after you (politely) explain that you don't like racist language.
- if roommates continue to be difficult to be around, cultivate other places to spend your time where possible. It's avoidance of the problem, yes, but if the choice is a stressful atmosphere in your room so you can't study, or quiet-time for yourself in the late-night labs, pick the labs. You're here to learn, not to put up with bullshit.
- this too will pass. Most people go through a few friends and circles of friends at high school and university. Some of them will stay, some of them will fade out, and some of them will turn out to secretly be awful. Sometimes you may feel alone. That's just humans for you. But you'll find people, and you'll develop good, strong, reliable friends, and you don't have to compromise your principles for it. This, I swear to you.


perspective - I'm 24 and after a seriously rocky start at university when I was 18 I'm now still in touch with some of my friends from back then, but my main social circle is one I've cultivated from all over the place. Uni, clubs, events, even internet. I thought I was screwing up quite often, but things have turned out fine and I have learned from my cockups and the cockups of others. My life is good, my friends are lovely, and none of them are racists or misogynists or homophobes or whathaveyou. I've been pretty much set since about age 20/21, it just took a couple of years away from home for me to get myself really sorted out. You'll get sorted out, too. You won't be alone.

>>12564
Never having been as into a fandom as I have been into TF2, I'm not sure whether or not it is something unique to TF2 or just fandoms in general. I've heard from other people that other fandoms they've been heavily involved in attract people with problems and that those problems more often than not come out during one-on-one RPs/IMs/chats. I believe TF2chan is the first place I've seen people present their problems so publicly and, whether that's more to do with the fandom or the chan or the supposed anonymity of the internet, I couldn't say.

The people I've met through the TF2 fandom and gotten to know, with very few exceptions, have serious mental health issues ranging from depression/suicidal thoughts to being overcontrolling, manipulative assholes. In my experience, it's just a matter of time before something bad comes out during an online conversation. That's why I now keep mine strictly RP-related, apart from saying hello and goodbye.

>>12568

Oh my gosh

dude, I was the anon with the problems, you're a sweetheart, that makes me feel so much better and gives me a lot of perspective. Thank you thank you thank you

>>12564

I have no idea, but I find it kind of comforting. I don't feel so alone when I know someone else is having trouble in their life...not that I like the fact that something's wrong, but more that I like that people are willing to share.

>>12567

That's awful! I can't offer much in the way of practical advice, because I've never had a roommate, but if anything, it would be best just not to get caught in the drama, and keep your head up.

Discussing this with my mom- mostly directed towards women who wish to someday be mothers, but guys can answer, too.

Scenario:
You have a baby. Newborn, in need of love. Of course, you get some time off to take care of it initially, but only a few months, and then you have to go back to work.
Now, you are offered a choice: You can either go back to the job you've worked super hard to obtain (and you love it there, too!), or you can stay home with your baby, and whatever children you have in the future, and get paid to do it, but you're never allowed to do the work you love.

What would you pick? Would you be emotionally fulfilled just being a mother/father?

>>12575
Kid comes first. Always. I'd be heartbroken to leave my job, but I'm going to (hopefully) be an artist. It's not like I can't go back to it someday. You only get one chance to not fuck up a kid.

>>12576
What if the scenario called for you never ever EVER getting to go back to your job? Even when the kid's 18, 25, 30, and out of the house, for whatever reason, your job is gone and you can never do that work again.
Would you still pick the kid?

I ask only because I honestly don't know. Being a mom is one of my must-do's in my life, but I don't know if I could give up theatre forever to do it. Thankfully I could always volunteer, so that wouldn't ever be the case, but in a scenario like this, I don't know what I'd do.
I love babies, but my theatrical projects are like my babies. Rock and a hard place, yo.

SO I realized how pointless it was to put my talentless scribbles online, and deleted my D-A account.

Because fuck it.

>>12577
You can work. It will be fine. Do not give up half your life's blood for the other half when they can coexist.

Kids turn out just fine, even raised by working parents, even raised by single working parents. If you take time for your kid when your kid needs you - an early afternoon off to pick them up from their first day of school, leaving off weekend drinks with friends in favour of time with your little one, that sort of thing - you should be fine.

If your work is your love and your identity, and you know that losing it will very much cripple a part of you, then giving it up entirely for the kid isn't fair to you or the kid. Kids are smarter than they seem, and they can pick up that Ma or Da's unhappy and missing something. If you're still loving them, looking after them, helping them, all the appropriate parent stuff, then you won't screw your kid up by also working. And you'll be able to continue when the kid's grown, where it's far harder to get back into any job if you've been out of it for the last decade or two.

My Ma was a single working mum with her own business and often away for multiple days at a run on one thing or another, but neither me nor my sister are irredeemably screwed up. I even managed to get her into gaming, though she's a console gamer to my PC.

>>12579
It was just a hypothetical scenario. I work in theatre and writing, so it's pretty flexible for having kiddies.

Catpcha: Usissy mussulman. WUT.

>>12580
That's the nice thing about artistic careers-- you'll never be too old, and there'll never not be a need for it.

>>12577
My parents were workaholics, so I spent a fair amount of my childhood being raised by my grandmother. I don't begrudge them for it. Eventually it may be something I'll have to do. It would be heartbreaking to work so hard for this degree and never put it to use. Besides, they can redeem themselves by looking after my odorous babies while I pursue my glamorous career. Heh heh heh.

So the friend that I have been hoping to have a relationship with, and who has seemed to be open to that idea, has said in no uncertain terms that she wants us to just be friends.
Continuing to be forever alone. Depression.

I'm really hoping I can come home this weekend. I've been away from my family for nearly 3 whole weeks, and I miss them. I also miss my kitties. Recently one of my cats, Cleo, gave birth to her first kitten! I wanna see the new kitten so bad. My mom sent me pictures of him. He's very cute, and he has a smiley face pattern on his back. I hope I get to visit. Seeing a picture doesn't compare with being able to see him in real life. I wanna visit home so bad, and I hope my current assignment doesn't mess that up for me.

>>12589
Here's a pic of the kitten. Hold the pic upside down, and his back looks like it has a smiley face on it. It's so cute!

>living in basement with buddy
>his little brother runs all the time
>dogs howl and bark every time someone stomps/runs on the floor above us
>nonstop barking
>buddy yells at his brother to stop
>suddenly everyone else in the house is mad at my buddy for yelling
>"HE'S JUST A KID!" etc etc despite this kid being 8 and well aware of what he's doing but just doesn't care because he never gets punished
>no fucking peace and quiet unless we leave and dick around town
>tense as fuck, dogs always barking and when we lock them out they scratch and whine nonstop

Nothing better then being backed up into a corner in your own home.

At least I have some paint/pens to mess around with.. I haven't done stuff in a long while. I'm just letting it come to me on its' own. Forcing that stuff isn't good. It'll happen when it happens. At least I've drawn a bit. Also, a possible roadtrip to Michigan! That'd be a nice getaway, since it's only a few hours drive...

also, lol at the steam store being spammed with Gotham City Imposters DLC because it went F2P. Figures.

>>12592
>also, lol at the steam store being spammed with Gotham City Imposters DLC because it went F2P. Figures.

I'm more amused by Greenlight being full of almost nothing but:
Shitty games ported from XBLIG
8 bit retro indie games that probably aren't actually 8 bit or retro
Minecraft knockoffs
F2P MMO of Chinese slave factory
Copyright infringement
weaboo dating sims

>>12595

Honestly I haven't even touched Greenlight since I knew it would be full of shit. It needs a few months to actually start producing good stuff though, like mod sites.

Also I hate that feeling when you can't relax in your own home and nobody gives a shit about you and makes you feel like the bad guy for wanting some basic respect (not stomping around at 12 in the morning for instance).

Facebook is so weird to me

I just can't talk about myself as much as facebook demands. It's like, the whole site is about being like "TODAY I DID THIS BLARGH BLARGH BLARGH"

Thats so weird to me. That's like the weirdest thing ever to me. I just can't be talk about what I'm up to that much. But I can do it on tumblr. I can do it on real life, but theres just something about facebook that weirds me out.

But I NEED to use it, ya know? For my social life and shit like that. But I'm just so uncomfortable on it and I don't know why.

Procrastination levels are reaching critical mass. I need to snap out of it or I'll die a hobo.

I'm beginning to think there's a problem with me when I don't have a trigger and the only things that "trigger" me are spiders and small clustered holes. Both are phobias, though, and the small clustered holes one doesn't even happen enough times for me to say "Yeah I'm trypophobic please tag your pictures of small clustered holes so I can avoid them kthnx."

I try to tag things with trigger warnings and I usually avoid talking about subjects that could potentially trigger someone, but sometimes I feel like I'm not doing a very good job at it since I still don't know exactly what can trigger a person when I don't really have triggers myself.