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File 134326673859.jpg - (140.16KB , 960x720 , 576117_3003487425952_1185624046_n.jpg )
12412 CA No. 12412
NOW WITH TROPICAL FLAVOURS

Old one autosaged and I've got A BURNING QUESTION so here's a new one. Anything too sex-related or TMI for casual dinner conversation goes here. Ask questions, tell stories, share you sexy sexy wisdom!
171 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>> CA No. 13468
Someone needs to tell me why masturbating relieves my congested sinuses, because that makes absolutely no sense to me.

On the bright side, I may have found the cure for the common cold. And I had fun doing it.
>> US No. 13470
File 138656858816.png - (346.49KB , 475x588 , medicdonotwant.png )
13470
>>when there is blood in your underwear and it is not your period

what do
>> US No. 13471
>>13470
A quick google search tells me that this could be as minor as stress or changing hormones, or as serious as cancer. Not exactly helpful, I know, but if it were me, I wouldn't stress out over it without waiting to see if it was just a one time thing or not.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003156.htm
That's the website I checked, if you want to do some reading for yourself. There's plenty more harmless reasons for this to happen than serious ones.
>> US No. 13472
>>13471
Thankfully, it turned out to be my period, but I'll check the link anyways just in case it does happen for real.

I should finally visit a gynecologist, I sometimes have long (several-hour) stretches where I don't bleed, and then I bleed a ton at once. Or intense cramps, but no bleeding. It's mysterious.
>> CA No. 13473
>>13472
Like, cramping when you're not on your period? That might be something to look into. I usually get cramps a few days before mine, though, so if it's like that, I'm sure you're fine.
The long stretches of no bleeding aren't unusual, though, especially if you sit in certain positions. My chair leans back particularly far, and I usually cross my legs when I sit, so often I'll have a pad on and virtually nothing will be on it, and then when I stand up, MAN THE FLOODGATES.
Still, if you're concerned about anything, it doesn't hurt to see a gynecologist and ask them. They'd know better than random people on the internet, in all likelihood.
>> US No. 13474
>>13473
Yeah. Might be anxiety, too. That, at least, I'm getting checked out. The whole "never been to a gynecologist" thing is only because my mom honestly thinks gynecologists are for women who are currently pregnant. She doesn't go, to my knowledge, and she's preventing my sister and I from going.
>> CA No. 13475
>>13474
No offense, but your mother's an idiot, at least in regards to this particular topic. Gynecologists are often the only way that a woman can find out about certain cancers, regardless of whether or not they're pregnant. Obstetricians are for when a woman is pregnant. Often, a Gynecologist will double as a Obstetrician, but they're not mutually exclusive.
>> US No. 13476
>>13475
No offense taken. I honestly didn't know myself until recently, but I think regardless of what, if anything a person does with their vagina, they should have it checked out.

I understand she's a very closed-minded person and doesn't like the idea of anyone poking anything up there, at least not until I'm married, but it's for health reasons.
>> AU No. 13477
>>13472
Glad it turned out to be your menses. As for this part:

>...intense cramps, but no bleeding.
Could be ovulation pains/mittelschmerz, maybe..? If you do find the pain happens approximately halfway between your periods, it could be that. Maybe.

Also echoing what Iz said about bodily positions affecting blood flow. It happens to me when sleeping, which makes me second-guess the "end" of my period in the mornings... lel

Buuuttttt you're going to see a doc so what I have to say about mysterious pains is probably moot
>> US No. 13480
>>13477
Thanks for always being a sweetie, Mawaru. It'll probably take forever to convince her, I've been trying to for over a year already. Unfortunately. My periods have been really intense and painful since I first got them, and some of the women I know who I've told just said "oh, relax, you're just fertile, you don't need to see anybody". Which isn't comforting when you're not sexually active anyways and in pain.

It could also be anxiety, but anxiety's supposed to make your periods shorter, right? If anything, they've gotten worse.
>> CA No. 13481
>>13480
It depends. Anxiety does different things for different people. For me, I go through a period of basically clenching (everything feels tight and constricted- my lungs, my stomach, everything), and then a period of bodily relaxation, and then the floodgates open. Seriously, this is kinda TMI, but after every panic attack, I have like, diarrhea. Not fun.
>> US No. 13485
>>13481
Pretty much this. I have diarrhea and constipation sometimes simultaneously. Or I feel like someone's sitting on my torso and I can't eat or breathe properly. Like I'm out of breath, but I've done nothing all day.
>> US No. 13498
Reading reviews of stuff where the author explicitly showed or described a sex scene and people rated it negatively for the mere existence of porn

I understand there's people who don't want to see sex, and heck, there's a lot of time where I'm not in the mood for it either, and maybe books should have a warning for that kind of thing, but saying "how dare it exist, period" is really stupid

Even in my "I want nothing to do with sex right now" moods I still accept that it's a human thing people do and can be talked about in the right context with adult humans. Or something. IDK.
>> US No. 13505
>>13498
There's a French film based on a comic book called "Blue Is The Warmest Color". It was slightly polarizing to some-- some didn't like how long the sex scenes were, some lesbians didn't relate to some of the lesbian sex in the film. Valid points, but there were others who said it was bad simply for having sex scenes in it period.

As much as I dislike 50 Shades, I've heard that same argument leveled against it. "It's not bad because it's bad porn, it's bad because there's porn in it, period. People should not be writing pornography."

Is there something wrong with disliking porn? No. Not at all. As I said before, I'm not always a fan of it myself. But I don't think its existence is a valid reason to dislike a work of fiction.
>> CA No. 13506
>>13505
I'll say this much, though: I have seen people on fanfic sites like AO3 that have put porn in their stories, solely so more people will read them (and yes, I know the people I refer to, and they have admitted doing this). The porn didn't belong, or came out of nowhere, or was just poorly written next to the rest, and they only put it in so more people would be drawn in. I think THAT is wrong. Not in the 'let's stop these people' kind of way, because everyone should be allowed to do what they want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Just wrong in the 'this is not the right thing to think about when you are writing a story'. I think putting porn in is fine, so long as it fits in your story appropriately.
>> US No. 13507
>>13506
Oh, definitely. I think that's why some people don't read porn, they think all fanfiction is porn (and porn they can't see the subtext for, but that's another issue). And there's definitely bad porn, "this wouldn't be seen as a healthy relationship irl" porn, porn randomly inserted into a story where it doesn't make sense, or when the author thinks they're mandated to have it. And none of those are a good thing. But it gets my goat, so to speak, when one of the commenters says porn as a whole, even consensual, safe, vanilla porn, is deplorable and has no place anywhere, in any context.
>> US No. 13530
So, I just got my first girlfriend a few days ago. We've been friends for about three-four years and we always tell each other everything. Even before we were officially dating, we'd talk sex and I even helped her buy her first sex toys. The thing is, we're in a long distance relationship, which isn't a problem, but she's coming to visit during her spring break, March 15-22, and we may have sex. As a woman myself, I have no idea what to do. I mean, I've seen a lot of porn, but I know it's unrealistic. I also wanted to possibly try a strap on, but when I told her she said if I buy one to make it a small one, because she hasn't really used penatrative toys and is a little afraid.
>> CA No. 13532
>>13530
Just start out with kissing and work your way up to wherever feels natural. Giving head, fingering, scissoring, shared sex toys - you don't have to necessarily have penetrative sex to have sex. Lots of ways to scratch an itch.
And keep in mind that most people's first time together is usually pretty awkward and sometimes even awful. That's why second and third times exist! Because once that first time is out of the way, it can only get better.
>> US No. 13541
All I want in life right now is to either jack off or eat some really greasy fried food and I can't do either.

I can't do the former for two more weeks. I hate surgery.
>> US No. 13557
I've been getting a hard time about a couple of things lately:

* People share their sex lives very candidly with me, and get annoyed when I tell them it's TMI, I never asked for this information, I'm only interested in what me and my girlfriend will be doing in bed (which I will not be discussing with the third party). I keep getting dragged into convos with people and their seven significant others, and I feel uncomfortable and out of place, and the person who dragged me in just doesn't understand why. I've been called prudish because I get angry when people also send me porn out of nowhere.

* People trying to break me and my girlfriend-they've-never-met up, insisting she's done things wrong that she hasn't, and hook me up with a male friend I'm mutually platonic with.

* Citing my interest in comic books and wearing pants all the time as proof they need to help me come out of the closet and openly discuss being transgender-- I'm not. I've had transmale friends who love pink and flowers, and transfemale friends who love stereotypically masculine things. Hobbies do not say a goddamn thing about what you prefer to be in your pants.

* Having to explain why I don't like non-con, incest, pedophilia, and beastiality, and why this doesn't make me (in the other person's words) "delusional and out-of-touch with reality, because only someone who thinks fictional characters are real would care about their livelihood".
>> US No. 13562
>>13530 here again. It's getting closer to the day my gf will be here. Anyone know of a good free how-to oral tutorial or something? I just don't wanna screw up too badly when/if anything happens while she's here.
>> US No. 13563
>>13562
Don't:
Recite the alphabet
Try to do something different every 30 seconds
Forget the clit

Do:
Find a rhythm/spot that works and STAY ON IT.
>> CA No. 13564
>>13563
Not speaking from experience (well not this sort, anyway), and this may sound ridiculous, but do some tongue/lip stretches beforehand. You wouldn't run a race without warming up, right?
>> US No. 13594
I should write some porn. Even if it's only because I have some atypical or semi-specific kinks I have literally never seen a single example of in any of my fandoms.
>> AU No. 13596
>>13594
Do it maget
>> US No. 13638
>>get a lot of date offers
>>all from super skeevy, lonely strangers who live 5,000 miles away and only know/care that I have a vagina, nothing else
>>sister has a hot, wonderful boyfriend
>>she actively discourages a lot of his hobbies, the same hobbies she discourages me from having (comics, gaming)

I'm not going to mack on him, or tell him (or her) about this. It's dumb, and I want these feelings to go away. I think I only have feeling for him out of frustration for her bitchiness, anyways. Not a good reason to date someone.
>> CA No. 13641
Can I just say, thank god I have two boobs?

Okay, I'm at that age in my life (mid-twenties) where my boobs are kind of starting to suck. They're goddamn huge, for starters, and the past few years, they've gotten so damn lumpy (which I'm told runs in our family), that it gave me so many unfounded breast cancer scares at first, and generally, they are not fun, at all.

Now, tonight, I happened to peek down at my shirt, and proceeded to flip out, because my nipple looks like it's in a different spot. I panic about this, go to WebMD and google it for about ten minutes, and then I calm myself down, and look at my other boob.
Thank god, it looks exactly the same as the other, weird new nipple and all.

From what I can gather, the two pounds I gain every period are going straight to my boobs, and that's what's making them look weird.

So, yeah. Thank you god, for symmetry. If I had only one boob, I would be convinced I'd need chemo in the near future. But now anytime I think I have a weird lump, I just feel around on my other boob, and so far have always found the exact same kind of lump in the exact same place, so I know it's just fatty tissue. Hallelujah.
>> US No. 13642
File 140328273834.png - (443.57KB , 644x740 , tumors.png )
13642
>>13641

Ugh, I'm nowhere near as bad as yours (I'm 22 with small and mostly painless boobs), but I've just developed a painful lump. Got it imaged and everyone's pretty much sure it's basically just one of those stupid nondangerous but obnoxious boob things (fibroadenoma + cyst. Getting a followup later this year just to be sure). And my mom had so many of those for her whole childbearing life to the point they stopped tracking them as they would freaking migrate all over the place. So it looks like I'll have many fun decades of painful lumpy boobs ahead of me. Ugh.

I read that boobs go through something similar to the uterus in how they all grow crap to prepare for a potential kid that almost never happens and then have to get rid of that crap, over and over. While the uterus straight up dumps that crap, boobs have to, like...kill off the cells and reabsorb their remains, and crap goes wrong and that's why they develop lumps/cancer.

why
why does this have to be a thing that happens
why does it have to be so stupid

Pic extremely related. Bread is boobs, Scout is me, Medic is my gyno (I wish), and tumors are literally tumors.
>> US No. 13643
I hate looking in the mirror and not liking what I see, but I don't know what I want to change about myself. I don't even know if what I have is gender dysphoria, or going through a transition would make me feel any better about myself. Because I know a lot of what I'm angry about is internal, and transitioning wouldn't fix it. That, and I believe both binaries have awful, annoying things to deal with. Sometimes I wish I was just biologically agender.

I also feel stuck between being incredibly horny, and the prospect of actually having sex making me nauseous and frigid. So I know I'm not ace. I just don't know what I am. I used to identify as demisexual, but enough people complained that it "wasn't a thing", or "stop making up words for something most people do anyways," that I stopped. I just would feel so comfortable, so relieved if I could figure out what the hell I am.
>> US No. 13649
>>13643
i had a friend who had the same feelings youre describing. they were diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. you could look into that as a possibility.
>> US No. 13650
>>13649
I really hope I don't, but I'll ask my psychiatrist. She's never mentioned anything more severe than anxiety and depression to me, though.

I think it may be more of an identity crisis, because I unfortunately have a lot of people trying to tell me who I am, and how they know me and what I want and need better than I know myself. For example, I haven't dated very often partially because I keep having male friends who go, "You know, I'd totally go out with you, but you're so flat-chested. You'd feel better about yourself if you got implants." And before they'd said that, I'd never even felt bad about being an A cup. And now I worry constantly about it. I have family encouraging me to be more feminine, classmates urging me to abhor makeup, lace, and cleavage-bearing tops because I'm "too masculine", etc. I don't feel like I have a choice other than trying to please everyone.
>> US No. 13651
>>13650
I think the sex thing is an extension of that. I don't want to have sex until I feel I look and act adequate to what others desire. Otherwise I'm being haughty in desiring it. Being a victim of physical abuse doesn't help.
>> CA No. 13652
>>13650
Can I just say, if a guy flat-out says that he would date you if you weren't so flat, then that guy is a piece of shit and you can do better. Hell, you could literally throw a rock into the air and have it land on somebody better, in all likelihood.
I mean, people are allowed to have their preferences regarding boob size, but to actually say that, and to actually have it be the deciding factor in whether or not to have a relationship? Asshole. No other word for it.
If you are uncomfortable with your breast size, then it is completely within your rights to change it, but don't change for assholes like that, because someday someone who is an actual decent human being will come along and like you for you, regardless of your chest size, or your degree of femininity or whatever.

As for the sex thing, it's normal to be horny but not want to have sex. Myself, I'm a virgin, so there's that whole first-time anxiety thing to contend with, along with many other factors, both emotional and physical, and a lot of people are the same way. Sex is complicated, and messy, and, while it can feel really nice (I'm told), sometimes it's just not completely appealing. Now, if you were super horny but never wanted to fap, then THAT might be a bit of a conundrum, but it's perfectly normal to have sexual desires and not feel like acting on them with anyone.
>> US No. 13653
>>13652
I don't fap, either, but it's partially because of low self-esteem, being unable to feel justified in getting aroused, and partially because part of the abuse was extremely sex-negative. I was instructed never to even think about sex until my wedding night, that premarital sex, or enjoying sex at all was gross and shameful, that if I watched porn, bought a sex toy, or even THOUGHT about sex, my mother would know, and that sex would be painful, that my virginity was extremely important, that the person who took it would most likely go on to manipulate or leave me, etc. Even if I sit in my room naked, trying to get used to it, I always get barged in on and told how disgusting I am.

It was weird, because I didn't even like the guys who said those things, at least not romantically, but they told me anyways. I don't even know how it came up. I think we were discussing what we were attracted to, and three different guys just said "You, but hotter." And when people do find me hot, I get uncomfortable, because it's for reasons like "You're so shy, and you've never flirted with me, you must totally want me." I won't lower myself to their standards, I promise.
>> No. 13702
I'm starting to have a problem where if I see a common subject or theme in fanart porn, and I never see the opposite (roles reversed), I get grumpy, and I can't get into it. Even if it requires a character to be slightly OoC for it to work that way.

A couple times, I've actually had someone write something based on my ideas, and it makes me feel worse, in some respects, because as nice as it is for them to do that, and as much as I appreciate it, it makes me feel like I'm being rewarded for whining that there's not enough big, submissive dudes taking it up the ass from men or women half their size and strength.
>> No. 13703
well, sex is pretty cool
>> No. 13717
So I've been carrying this shit for a while, may as well offload in the one place I feel safe enough to:

For the past couple of years now (wow, that long, huh) I've been made to feel guilty/bad/wrong for my interest and casual attitude towards sex and porn. Especially creating it myself. This comes from friends who claim to be asexual, and others who are just so fucking bitter about not getting any that they lash out at me. Or make rude/snide comments about my interest in it, always done in a roundabout way (eg: "I don't get why people are so obsessed with making characters fuck. I mean, why can't they just be friends. Friends who kiss a little, maybe"). Or state that porn is something only sellouts would do (even though they have later gone on to start porn collabs with other friends)

Congratulations, your bitching worked. I am now so nervous and feel so guilty whenever I have a good idea for a porn scene or risque image, that I am paralysed into inaction. No amount of self-counselling and trying to ignore these people has fixed it so far, but maybe time away from them will... It just sucks because they're good friends, but I'm not sure they realise what they're doing.

Maybe I just need more like-minded friends who also aren't creepy about it 'cause that's a whoooole other bag o' worms
>> No. 13718
>>13717
I did kind of notice that attitude from my ace friends. I love them to death, but when I'm trying to overcome a childhood with an intensely slut-shamey mother, and a simultaneous revulsion towards and intense desire to have sex, the last thing I need is someone who thinks no one should ever have sex, ever, including non-ace people, or worrying I'll lose their friendship if I even casually bring it up.
>> US No. 13724
File 142660450910.jpg - (303.49KB , 1024x768 , dethklok.jpg )
13724
I refuse to believe Venture Bros. and Metalocalypse are about a decade old already.

No. Just...no. Stop making me feel so old.
>> US No. 13725
>>13724
...I meant to put this in the media thread, shit.
>> US No. 13726
I've been in several relationships, but I haven't slept with any of the people I've dated. I was either cheated on, stalked (not only by an ex, but also by a few people I turned down before dating), or broken up with because we had incompatible sexualities, or because they didn't get that I didn't enjoy being screamed at and told I was a fuckup constantly. I keep feeling like I was only being asked out because the person was lonely, and needed anyone willing to offer them companionship. It just made me really disgruntled.
>> US No. 13729
I used to think I had a bara fetish, but I realize it's more that I was used to finding cute male characters who ended up being only 15-16 or so (see: anime, Japanese video games) and getting immediately turned off by their lack of legal age. With a 250-lb. bara with a huge lumberjack beard and rippling muscles, no way that guy hasn't gone through puberty eons ago.
>> US No. 13730
I've heard a lot of people say recently that "sexuality is fluid," and "it's okay not to know what you identify as," but also that "sexuality isn't a phase".

But there are people who decide they're "no longer gay" or "no longer trans" (or alternately, "no longer straight"), and not in a "the church forced me into gay conversion therapy" kind of way. More in a "I just stopped being interested in this, or decided it wasn't for me" kind of way. Can someone even "stop being gay/straight" to begin with?
>> US No. 13732
>>13730
Sexuality is fluid. Most people are going to experience basically the same sexual orientation for most of their adult life, but it's still very possible for people to experience changes (both long term and short term) in their sexuality at any point in their lives.

The aversion to calling sexual orientation a 'phase' is that more often than not the term is used by heterosexual cisgendered people to invalidate the coming-out experience of queer people (meanwhile heterosexual teenagers are almost never told that they'll "get over" their heterosexuality.)
Setting aside the hurtful double standard, though, the idea that somebody's sexuality should not be taken seriously because it might be temporary is in itself problematic. Yes, temporary changes to a person's sexuality can happen. So can long-term changes to a person's sexuality. It's kind of shitty to assume that you know which is which without actually experiencing it. It's really super-duper asswipe shitty to act like somebody's experiences doesn't matter unless it lasts their entire lifetime. From a psychological standpoint, if it feels real enough, it is real enough--always--and everything you experience, even if it's temporary, has potential to shape you in some way. I mean, that's kind of what life is about, yeah?


I don't know why I got off on that tangent. What I meant to say is, yes it's possible for your sexual orientation or gender to change, and that's okay.
>> US No. 13733
>>13732
(I don't know if you're calling me shitty, or the people who say these things shitty.)

I don't think people "grow out of it", and I agree it's insulting to say that it is, or that people inevitably will, I was just curious to hear whether people who claim to "suddenly be straight" after years of only same-sex dating were dealing with internalized homophobia, or being disgruntled with same-sex dating, or something. Or whether that just sometimes biologically happens, without something triggering it.
>> US No. 13734
>>13733
(I was calling people who say that shitty; you are a wonderful anon and I love you)

Probably best not to look for a one-size-fits-all answer. I've heard a lot of different 'reasons' from a lot of different people--some of which I believe and some of which I don't believe (but who am I to judge.) It makes sense because sexuality is such a complicated thing with all sorts of biological and psychological factors.

And remember there's a difference between -sexuality (wanting the D) and -romanticism (wanting to be in a relationship with somebody with the D.) For a lot of people, what they want in a relationship is different from what they want in sex, which sometimes puts their orientation up in the air if, for example, they like to touch penises but they want a relationship that they believe they could only have with a woman (or a particular person who happens to be a woman, hence the "I'd totally go gay for...")
Then there are also people who have sex for different reasons entirely, like, say, out of curiosity or because they have attachment issues or prejudices or any number of other hangups. Eventually those issues may subside or redirect and they end up converting.
And then there's plain biological changes.
And fetishes.
And religious extremists shocking your genitals every time you look at a picture of the opposite sex.
And Hugh Jackman.

But whatever their reasons are, its' their wee-wee and they can rub it wherever they choose, preferably without third parties discrediting them \o/
>> US No. 13736
>>13734
I think what it is is this: Some people know what they are from Day 1. There are people who swear they were never once attracted to the opposite binary, romantically or sexually, everything is consistent.

And then there are people who are consistently one or the other or both in terms of sexuality and/or romance, but society, family, their own hangups, something's preventing them, and they identify differently than how they feel inside.

I don't know where to place those who just flip-flop, and claim they weren't influenced by anyone.
>> US No. 13738
Is it true that you can be aroused by anything, regardless of your orientation? I was looking at some porn the other day (all kinds of gender combinations), and I think the fact that I was looking at sexual things was turning me on, not necessarily who was involved.
>> US No. 13739
>>13738
You might just be bi or pansexual. Or the kink could be so strong for you that you're attracted to it being present, regardless of gender.
>> US No. 13780
Heaven forbid I dislike a kink because it was forced on me by someone I had zero sexual or romantic interest in.

The fact that someone else likes it is more important than me politely asking them to tag it in a way that I don't have to see it.
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