>>13655
It's possible that he's just really embarrassed to jog outside or if front of you, especially if he's noticeably overweight at all. I really want to lose some weight too, and my boyfriend suggests jogging, but the thought of people watching me jiggle down the street makes me want to hurl. I finally ended up buying a treadmill because it's the only thing that I can do in the privacy of my own home that works.

Maybe suggest he stays at home and does some work out videos or something while you jog?

>>13658
It's possible they also need to sort out some personal issues, because Anon's BF may have it in his head that Anon thinks Anon's BF fat, when Anon doesn't actually think that.

I've dealt with BFs who insisted, for example, that I thought they had a ridiculously small penis, when I'd never said or inferred such a thing. No matter how many times I said "No. No. I like it. It's legitimately fine. Stop worrying." they told me I did, I was just lying about it. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves when we're in a relationship.

>>13659
A lot of people often project their insecurities onto other people. A friend of mine is ginger and has freckles pretty much covering her from head to toe, and she's always been self-conscious of them, and she was convinced for a while that her boyfriend hated them. He actually loves them, though, and has never said anything negative about them. But she's hated them her whole life, so she assumes they must be the first flaw he would see in her.

>>13659
Dealt with this last night - was super convinced my BF was upset about something, and kept trying to find out what he was upset about. He wasn't actually upset but my prying then made him upset. Then we just bounced back and forth and it was shitty. Whoops.

>>13661
I feel like this, too. But from both sides of the table.

People give me vague hints as to how they feel about me. And I don't know how to read them. I give them what I feel are blatant hints from my end. They act confused, or ignore them. I don't know if I am autistic, sheltered, or if they are just being too vague.

My dad is dead.

It took me almost a whole day to finally just bawl my eyes out.

It's not fair.

I want my Dad back. I love him so much.

My dad is dead.

It took me almost a whole day to finally just bawl my eyes out.

It's not fair.

I want my Dad back. I love him so much.

>>13669
Hang in there.

>>13669
Whoa Cat, what? We're here for you.


So, I finally made it. I'm not the book illustrator I wanted to be, but I nabbed the position of Leasing Agent back in my home town. However, because of that good luck (last time I posted in a feels thread I was super depressed because I was in Florida and no one gave a single shit I was unhappy), I wrecked my car in that snowhell last winter on my way home from a con, I got a 7mm kidney stone which made itself know after a con in June, and my new car is derping like crazy, holy damm.

I'm slowly bringing myself out of my art block, but between work, actually needing sleep, cosplay work, and making sure my friend isn't suicidal, I don't have the time for it.

I am slowly losing money though... I save up about 3k before this car and kidney stone bullshit, and with rent, car payments, an increased car insurance, and my 83296194 medical bills (I had to get the shock wave shit for the stone), I'm super stressed about my finances. Which in turn cranks my anxiety... so, good job, hells of stress, what is money.

>>13671
>>no one gave a single shit that I was unhappy

Whoa, whoa, wait, what makes you think we don't care?! I didn't even know this had happened until now. You okay?

>>13669

cat bountry forget any personal bitterness if it wasn't even present (not sure) if you need someone to talk to my steam is nyathekitty and my icon is a drawing of medic. i'm NEVER busy literally any time of the day or night just message me okay and i know you can get through this

>>13675
*was (not wasn't)

wishing i could just do some mindless complaining without receiving backlash or advice for it. that is the harsh reality of internet though.

>>13677
I sort of know the feel. I've tried broaching the topic of being anything other than cis, religious, and straight to several of the people closest to me, and they've either laughed or told me that there's no other option than believing in God, marrying the opposite binary, and accepting that nothing about you is changeable. It'd be easier if I could figure out what the hell I even wanted...I figure I can't just go into a plastic surgeon or hormone therapy doctor and say, "hey, is there any way I can get both breast implants and a penis?"

I feel bad just letting people vent, like I should say something, but I can't. I'm not good at advice, even when it comes to people in situations I've also been in. But I want people to feel better, you know?

>>13680
thank you, it feels good to read that people can relate to how i feel sometimes. that's all i really needed.

>>13680
>"hey, is there any way I can get both breast implants and a penis?"
You probably could just go up to a plastic surgeon and get something like that done, actually. (if you had the money/insurance/whatever other prerequisites are needed to cover the procedure, medication, and other parts of sex reassignment surgery stuff) The part that wouldn't likely be feasible (if this is what you intended) would be to have both sets of genitals, but it might be that I simply have never heard of people actually doing it, in spite of all the futa-lovers out there on the more porny sections of the internet.

>>13684
Futa manga is where I discovered my desire for it, honestly. I used to go on 4chan and look for hentai manga scans and cyber with my long-distance boyfriend during middle school, but my mother gave me such a lecture about how girls shouldn't think about sex, and how I was disgusting and creepy and perverted, so I've hated having a vagina ever since. If I had a penis, thinking about sex and masturbation wouldn't be frowned upon.

The boob thing I just wanted done because I was always the friend everyone has who just wasn't hot or well-endowed enough to go out with.

I lost my job, have no aspirations in life and I wish this place wasn't dying/dead.

Everyone I know and liked on here in the past either moved on entirely or only posts on fumblr.

One of my favourite authors just up and quit writing for this fandom because of stupid drama.

I lost my job, have no aspirations in life and I wish this place wasn't dying/dead.

Everyone I know and liked on here in the past either moved on entirely or only posts on fumblr.

One of my favourite authors just up and quit writing because she didn't like the drama and went to a fandom with nothing but drama and PC shit. It makes no sense.

>>13687
I'll hang out with you, if you'd like.

>>13687
I'm also sad that everyone has migrated to fumblr. (Not just from here - from everywhere) I've started getting really fed up with its shit but there's just...nowhere else to go right now, it seems. To me it looks like forums in general are dying because of the likes of fumblr and Instagram or whatever the kiddies are into these days. Social media junk where everyone is princess of their own personal kingdom in an eternal game of telephone instead of a town square where everyone can meet and have a normal conversation. Can't say this place is or was perfect but it would be nice to have a viable alternative to underage SJW land of the reposts.

>>13691
While it's not the best place to have a discussion, I do think some social justice has its place, as do personal blogs where you can vent and display your personal style, as it were.

>>13691
i do very much enjoy the idea of messageboard rather than the 'yelling into the crowd and see who perks their ears' that is fumblr.com

>>13671
>>13675

Sorry I responded so late. I don't come on the chan as much anymore.

I wasn't even really bitter towards you, Erichm, I thought you hated me. But I do appreciate your offer. You seemed pretty cool when you came into the Circlejerk drunk that one time I was there last.

Thank you. It's been a tough past few weeks.

i just need someone to tell me that it's okay to be upset and angry about my boyfriend suddenly telling me he's asexual 10 months into the relationship.
i'm not asexual, i want sex. i show my love by fucking, and i'm extremely attracted to him and i love him, so i want to fuck him.
he told me he thinks he's asexual the day after my birthday. so he doesn't want sex, he doesn't even like the idea of sex (apparently?)
we used to kiss and cuddle and hug all the time but now i find it so hard to show him any physical affection whatsoever. i love him and i just want our relationship to go how its been going for the last 10 months, but now its different. i don't want to leave him and i dont want him to leave me.
this is a big deal to me. if its a big deal for an asexual to not want sex, then it can be a big deal for me to want sex. not that im afraid of being shamed for it on the chan.
i just dont think its going to work out if it stays this way.
he's getting older, and he's overweight, i think he's simply lost libido, but he's also on fumblr a lot and he's very influential so i think the whole asexual thing is just the only way of him saying he's getting old and his libido is bad without feeling bad about himself. it's a label he can be proud of instead of admitting that he needs to start working out and lose some weight.
this is lengthy, sorry.

>>13698
So here are my thoughts on this:

1. Sexuality to some people is fluid. While a lot of people would say they've always been gay/straight/ace, some switch from year to year, or how much/little their preference is.

2. I do think some people confuse asexuality with celibacy, which is more of a conscious decision not to have sex, despite maybe having a libido after all. Sometimes it's "I'm not consistently horny enough to have a sex life" or "I don't like myself enough to give myself nice things, like sex", or "I can't trust anyone enough to have a relationship", or something. And then there's demisexuals, although I know some of fumblr disbelieves in them.

3. I would weigh positives and negatives, and see which comes out stronger. Sometimes you still love someone, but that doesn't change that you need to break up. And this is coming from someone who was in a position similar to your boyfriend's.

I've been depressed for the greater part of the last two years. My dad's death in September merely compounded on it. I haven't written anything in ages. I don't get the feedback I want. I feel like I'm washed up as a fic writer and my characterizations are so outdated that I'm no longer relevant. I have to be pushed to draw anything. I find myself avoiding even playing the game anymore for various reasons.

I've started new medications. I'm looking into acquiring a dog, since this feeling of malaise started when my dog and grandmother both died in the space of 24 hours. My motivation is gone and I just want to spend all of my time in my apartment, away from people.

I'm slowly trying to get out of this rut but it's like pulling myself out of quicksand, especially since I can't stop thinking about my dad and how much I miss him. I feel so tired.

I want my dad back. I want my dog back. I want to be 10 years old again before everything went to shit.

Just... goddammit.

I remembered this website existed. I miss it.

I'm new here and actually very nervous, but I hope I'll be able to help revive this site as it's not as lively as I remember it. I've been lurking here since just before the uber update. I wanted to post here then, but I was afraid to because I had a feeling you guys could smell underageb&.

And now for actual feelings. I'm going to put this in a spoiler thingy because shitty moods are contagious, apparently. Plus, it's dumb as hell, I'm sure.

Maybe it's because I'm friends with sensitive/emotional people, maybe it's because I really am a heartless piece of shit, but either way I honestly think it would've been better for everyone if I didn't go through the therapy and stayed a friendless little monster. A lot less people would've gotten hurt and maybe my current friends might be better off.

Even worse, when I do shit like this and feel generally repentant, I then take the feeling and stretch it over my existence in general. For example: "If I wasn't born, my mom probably would've had a chance to realize my dad was an abusive prick and would've been able to get away." Stupid, I know, but the feeling's still there. It's getting to the point where it's immensely tiring.

Maybe being around people in general isn't a good idea for me but whatever.

TL;DR, I'm being a whiny lil' shit and need to go to bed, because this is fucking ridiculous.

Feeling jealous of someone my platonic brain-crush-person may be dating.
Feeling stupid for this crush turning out to be 1) not so platonic, and 2) I thought I didn't swing that way, and 3)I was pretty sure they didn't swing that way either.

Whatever. Mopey sulky lovesick. Not like I had any chance anyway - I don't live in the same hemisphere, let alone the same continent.

>>13711
>>13708
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a similar boat. I start spending time with people, and I develop crushes on them if they act friendly and interested in what I'm doing. Sometimes there's no other reason. But I never chase after them, or tell them how I feel, because 9/10ths of the time, they're either in a relationship, or I firmly convince myself they're probably dating someone else.

This is partially because the last several times I was either in a relationship, or told someone I had a crush on them, they were either totally ambivalent, were completely disgusted, or said that they'd only go for me if I was much hotter.

I know I'll find someone eventually, I just wish I knew how to gain the courage to deal with more rejection before I find them.

I fantasize about self-harming almost constantly, partially because I don't have the balls to do it myself, and partially because I don't want to have to explain it to my family/have them use it as a justification to continue belittling me over everything.

I just feel nauseous. I can't eat, I wake up frequently during the night, I want the fantasies about being dismembered and raped to stop being so therapeutic. I even actively prevent nice things from happening to me, because I don't feel like I've earned them.

>>13713
To clarify, I haven't actually self-harmed, I just don't feel sometimes like I have any other way out of my current situation. My parents don't want me to move out, and they're actively infantilizing me, and discouraging any kind of self-discovery, because I'm not turning into the kind of person they want. They don't want me to leave and embrace the fact that I'm pro-diversity. I'm genderqueer. I'm pansexual. But they think if I don't get the chance to date a girl, or to spend time around people outside my ethnicity, I'll lose interest in it. But I don't intend to.

Mental health patients do not get to go up to Psychology students and actual, licensed psychologists and tell them "I have this disorder, you are wrong, your definition of this disorder is wrong". Especially if the person is self-diagnosed.

Don't get me wrong. You probably know better than anyone when something is wrong in your body. But saying your roleplay OC's are alternate Dissociative Personality Disorder personas? Do you realize DID (aka schizophrenia) is extremely rare? As in, less than 1% of people in the Western world have it? That it only seems to exist in Western countries, and studies have been done to see whether it even exists at all? I didn't work my ass off to get a degree, just for you to tell me "oh, I've never taken a Psych class, but I know more than you do". Shut the fuck up.

>Another fanfic poster got permabanned automatically by the board because their fic contained the word "specialist"
Good news everyone, I killed the spamfilter for cialis so it stops being a problem. Now I'm just hoping the ficwriter comes back and tries again, since I removed the ban.

>>13728
I don't know if that's hilarious, or irritating in the way where I want to slap the spam filter.

>>Come downstairs later than I should have, but still early enough that I'll be a few minutes early for work.
>>Dad yells at me, asks why I screw up on everything.
>>Tell him I'm tense and nervous because he tells me I screw up on everything. It discourages me from trying harder on doing anything, or doing certain things at all.
>>"You need a psychiatrist."

You think, Dad? I actually went into a therapy session with you last year, remember? You talked over me the entire time, ranted about work, and we only discussed my school situation towards the end, where you ranted about a teacher I no longer even had.

Mental illness sucks, especially if it's partially caused by abuse. It tells you that every little thing is incredibly personal, nothing is a joke, everything is worth getting defensive over. And then you sit brooding over your computer, trying not to cry, and getting angrier and angrier by not letting it go, by not eating or sleeping and letting your lack of resources get lower and lower.

holy shit. hello again everyone.

>>13764
Hello friend! I like your picture.

> mfw someone who's almost a total stranger adds you on steam just to start complaining about how your friend doesn't like them

>Go into work
>Find that the computer now prohibits me from doing something I used to do all the time without permission/a passcode from the Assistant Manager
>Go get the Assistant Manager
>She laughs and rolls her eyes, asks "What do you need now?"
>Need her again later for same reason
>Go get Manager
>"Oh, [name], [name], [name], what is it now?"
>Privately confront other Assistant Manager about this
>"Oh lol, he's just sarcastic, it's so funny."
>Other Manager asks why I look stressed
>"To be honest, I don't think they think I'm good at my job."
>Other Manager: "I have no idea why you'd think that."

>>13774
This is why I hate asking for help on anything. I know it's inevitable, because I don't know 100% of anything I'm supposed to know on any subject, but I wish people didn't make you feel so shitty and stupid about it. They come to work, and people ask them to actually do work, or anything that doesn't involve them spending their whole shift talking to their friends, and it's so irritating to them.

It seems like most Christmas seasons, I run into at least one person who gets really genuinely hurt and offended that I don't celebrate Christmas, and I get it. There's a lot of Christians that stopped celebrating due to bad Christmas memories, lack of family to celebrate with, the over-commercialization of the holiday, the fact that it's an appropriation of a Pagan holiday, etc.

But I'm not Christian. I never have been, and I can't reaffirm my faith in someone I didn't believe in to begin with. I remember learning in elementary school that every religion believes in something different-- did a lot of people not learn that?

>>13791

Christmas in January amirite

Anyway, Maybe not? I don't know, I think that someone not celebrating Christmas is a stupid thing to get mad over. Why give someone a hard time for not spending the 25th of December the way YOU want them to?

Having gone to a private elementary/middle school, I can't really say what they taught in public middle/elementary schools, but I know we learned a LOT about Christianity and had maybe a week or two on other religions. We just didn't talk about them I guess much beyond that? Can't remember too well.

>>13800
I posted that right after Christmas, but yeah. We did a big unit on Christianity, then brief ones on Islam and Judaism, and then learned it more in-depth in college. I can't vouch for everyone else-- they either forgot, or learned differently.

I know I've met a bunch of people who think Judaism, for instance, is identical to Christianity. They sincerely believe Jews believe Jesus Christ is their savior (or that they have their own version of Christ), that Chanukkah involves a tree and a wreath and its own version of Santa. It doesn't.

I really really REALLY just can't wait until I'm out of Job Corps with a REEL JAWB because you guys don't even knoooow how much I'm tired of this high school drama bullshit.

Great program, but I am 100% ready to move on with my life already hopy shiet.

Also can't wait til I can start writing again.

Fuck I wish my life was like Adam Sandler's "Click". I just want to fast forward all the bullshit already fuuuuck.

Why am I so affected by other fanfics when I've probably done so much worse to other people. It's dumb but some of the stuff I read here legit haunts me.

Dude, come the fuck on. I asked you about a date a year ago, and you haven't done shit. I make sure my time is free to visit you since you never want to come here (which I understand), but when I do invite you down, you cancel last minute or never pick a day to visit.

I'm kind of tired of fucking driving up there all the time just to be fucking ignored because you wanna Hearth or something. If you're not interested, just say so. Stop saying that it'll happen and you're interested and then never mention shit again.