Obviously I remade this thread because I need to know something. I got a question about dem sex toys. Since my knowledge about proper sex toys is completely theoretical so far I will have some stupid questions - Be aware.

Sooo, I've been looking at some vibrators online and these fellas (pictured) popped up. I don't know the English term for them but apparantly, they are for vaginal stimulation without actually being inserted. Some kind of massage thing, I guess?

Now I want to know, ladies: How do these exactly work? Which parts are stimulated? Are they recommendable?

So here and there, I feel sexually frustrated.

I lack a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever as ya'll may or may not know.
I can't masturbate because this house of mine is jam packed 24/7.
That and I'm not the type to masturbate, it's just weird to me.

What the hell is someone like me to do. God damn.
Maybe I'm just fucked for now and I just need to deal with it.
... excuse the unintentional pun. Psh.

>>4215
Looks like it'll just stimulate your clit. Good if you have that weird fear of insertion like I do.

>>4220
Just curious, but weird how? I keep hearing this from people and personally it's hard to wrap my head around because I am all for whacking it.

>>4220
I don't know, I guess I'm weirded out by the idea of touching myself.
It's not that I'm self concious or anything, I mean, I'm happy with my self image.
But it's just like... I don't know, I can't explain it.
I've done it before and it was nothing but awkward to me.
I'd prefer to be touched by others.

Or maybe there's something wrong with me. Who knows.

>>4222
I can see what Dinosaurs means. It's weird because I can be aroused by looking at porn and stuff, but actually putting my hands where my junk is literally does nothing for me. Looking at sexy things online is the only thing that actually relieves sexual frustration for me.

>>4226
>>4231
Well I can say that I don't like to masturbate either - At least not with my hands. Hence why I'm looking at different toys online now to find something to relieve myself with when Chi's not around. Looking at porn helps, but only temporarily.

Dudes, there are so many ways to enjoy sexuality that you shouldn't worry if one thing or the other isn't your thing. You can always try something new. As said, maybe toys - There are tons, from stuff you insert over massaging ones to fleshlights. And if you don't want to jack off, that's okay too. Try something else.

Regarding places with privacy - You always got the shower.

Haven't had sex with the boyfriend in a month (as we're not living together yet and our schedules conflict, we sometimes only get to chill once a week). Feelin' like I need me some happy naked funtime with the Scoutpapa, somethin' fierce. That's totally normal, right?

>>4250
Ahyup. Same for me at the moment, actually - Since my brother now lives at home and Chi is mostly only there on the weekends when my brother isn't at work, stuff gets complicated. I'm not keen on having my brother listen next door while I moan my heart out.

>>4251
Totally the same way, Papa's still living with his mom and little sis and while his mom is out almost all the time, his sis is ten and we don't want her around while we're trying to be cute and nekkid-cuddly.

(Also does nothing for my self-esteem when his sister's around, because I'm almost a decade older than her and she's seven inches taller than me.)

I can't figure out why a pillow works wonders while my hand does not. It feels more intense, but I can't get any release that way. Is it just a matter of skill?

I'm a virgin. I bought a vibrator with the smallest girth I could find, put a load of lube on it, and I still couldn't get even the tip in without being in a catastrophic amount of pain. Not the 'oh my skin is ripping' kind of pain, but the 'I feel a ton of pressure on something inside me and it's going to burst' kind. Is it supposed to feel that way?

I'm a petite woman so I figured I'd be uncomfortably small down there, but this is a bit insane. Am I doing it wrong? Maybe pushing from the wrong angle or something?

>>4256
Most likely, yes. I can't tell you about direct practices though, sorry - Try more is all I can say. Experiment with different ways of rubbing and touching. Continue doing what feels good.

>>4258
That might as well be your hymen (if you don't do sports, because if you do, it might already be broken). I felt a lot of pressure from it before it broke too. I tried to insert something again from time to time until it worked. Basically, if you don't feel like it's direct ripping pain, but more of a barrier you can't get through - Try to gently push further. Stop once it hurts too much. Repeat from time to time. Be gentle and relaxed while you try.

Okay, so- short version: Is it normal, after a breakup, to start crying during masturbation/after an orgasm? And is there any way to prevent it from happening?

And the tl;dr version: I got dumped pretty abruptly over the holidays. He and I had been really good friends for a few years before we got involved; he was the only person I've ever been able to really talk to about all of the sexual abuse I went through when I was younger, and all of the abusive relationships I got into afterwards. He helped me to work out a lot of my depression and crippling self-esteem and abandonment issues, and I fell for him pretty hard, so I was completely overjoyed when he asked me out. And it was amazing for the few months we were together. I
loved him more than anything, and in all honesty I still do. He broke it off because he just wasn't in love with me.

We're back to being BFF-y and all now, but I'm definitely not over him yet. Which brings us to the point in question- every time I masturbate, I end up thinking about him (we only had sex, like, four times before he broke it off- for the most part the relationship was long-distance- but it was consistently fucking amazing) and I'll either start crying somewhere in the middle of it, or immediately after I start coming down from an orgasm. It's starting to get aggravating. Is this normal, or at least not something I should get too concerned about? And is there any way to stop it from happening?

Bringing this to you guys because I have nobody to talk to about things like this besides Mr. Ex, lololololol.

>>4292
It can be, I went through the same when my first bf broke up with. It's part of the feelings of rejection and gets better with time. I advise just crying if you have to cry cause it might help you work out that emotion sooner.

Okay, little embarrassing to admit this, but here goes - I'm 20 years old, and, before earlier today, I had never really masturbated before. I tried it for the first time, and it felt good when I was doing it, but my nether regions felt kinda funny hours later. Specifically, I got some kind of mild pain in my lower abdomen, like a period cramp (even though I already had mine earlier this month). Is this normal for some people? Did I do something wrong?

>>4353
I'm not sure. Might just be your body not being used to the masturbation. If I were you, I would just try it again and see if it happens again the next times. If it doesn't you got nothing to worry about.

Also do you guys have some more recommendations for vibrators? My ladyparts could use a bedside friend when Chi isn't there.

>>4356
http://www.bigteazetoys.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=190&Itemid=184

I owned 6 other vibes but when I got this the rest went in the trash, aside from the one that plugs directly into the wall. For the size this one is crazy powerful and has some really nice vibration settings,

>>4353
Nah, I don't think that's anything to be worried about. I get almost the exact same thing, the mild-period-cramp feeling a bit after a really strong orgasm. My best guess is it's the muscles being sore from more exercise than they're used to.

Okay, I've been saving up questions for this thread for a little while.

First one: I got the Icicles No. 24 (pink glass tentacle-shaped dildo Marty posted in the previous thread) right when it came out and I looove it. But now as I'm trying to round out my toy collection I find myself wanting something along the same lines in texture and aesthetic but in silicone (or quality rubber) rather than glass. A friend pointed me to aliendildos.com and they look really nice but I am not willing to shell out over $200 for a non-vibrating dildo unless it also does household chores and feeds children in third-world countries. So, any suggestions? Something heavily textured, on the soft side, and, um, with an alien-related sort of look...? Don't judge me this is a nonjudgmental thread.

In addition if anyone can recommend a particular anal starter set that'd be pretty rad. There are too many options to choose from!

And finally. What exactly does it take to get into the sex toy designing business? Is it a field where you have to be an entrepreneur or can you start by working at already existing companies? What sort of qualifications would be helpful? It's just an idea I'm toying with (no pun intended) but I have to admit not really knowing much about the business. Not that I expect anyone else here to either but it's worth asking, right?

Does anyone have advice for first time dildo users?

>>4420
I do! Is anyone surprised? No.

First off, choosing your toy. Do you already have one? Do you know what you like vis-a-vis insertables? If you don't, I strongly recommend that you hit down the produce department of your local grocery store. Yes, seriously. Fruit and veg are much less expensive than official dildos, sparing you the hearbreak of dropping money on something that you'll never use. I know a lot of first-time dildo buyers grab toys that are FAR bigger than they will actually enjoy; your eyes can be bigger than your hoo-ha. Also grab some condoms, in a separate shopping trip if you must, but rubbers are important here. Anyhow, just select any carrots, zucchini, okra pods, whatever looks like it might be fun. Take them home, scrub them a bit, wrap them in rubbers and go to town. Fool around. See what feels good. It is perfectly fine if you giggle like a kid at this juncture.

When you first use a toy, whether vegetable or otherwise, go easy on yourself. Have you been using your fingers on yourself for a while? Finger yourself for a bit, first. I know the temptation when confronted with a new toy is just to GO FOR IT, but take it slow.

Once you know the kind of thing that you like, I suggest that you make note of length, girth and curvature. Decent sex toy sites will allow you to search and sort by size. I suggest www.SexToyFun.com for less expensive first ventures into dildory, and www.GoodVibes.com for an investment purchase, such as a silicone dildo that will last you for years.

I got a dildo (A beginners dildo apparently) at a tuberware party and I'm nervous to use it in fear of pain.
Hell, with all my kinks, I'm still nervous to stretch myself. Am I kidding myself? Is it really that painful? Am I overthinking and worrying too much?

>>4440

Thanks!

Blowjob advice: provide it.

>>4458
Wrap your lips around your teeth, it's important. Also don't be afraid to vary speeds and pressure. And use your tongue.

I tend to start slow, blow lightly on the tip before touching it, to tease him a bit. Then do some licking, the area on the underside of the head where it connects to the shaft is super sensitive for licking. Might want to massage his sack at the same time. Then I either get right in and deep throat (make sure the angle is right or you'll seriously vomit), or do some half bobs that give me room to swirl my tongue around the head when it's out and down the shaft when it's in. Depending on how you feel about hair, then you could also suck lightly on his sack. You and also hum a bit as he's in your throat if you do deep throat. Just keep it varied so he's not getting to used to one sensation for to long.

I think I may have had to much practice...

>>4444
It's all about relaxation. Paradoxical but true- if you're not afraid it's gonna hurt, it probably won't hurt. Are you a lady anon, or a man anon? Either way, play with yourself externally, first. Get warmed up. Finger yourself, and use plenty of lube. Take deep breaths, and don't rush yourself. Don't make Use That Dildo the goal of your personal time- wanking is not a standardised test, so whatever makes you happy (even just getting off while looking at the dildo and wondering how it'll feel) is a success. You'll have a fine time.

>>4458
What Babby said, and don't be afraid to switch out for a handjob for a short while if your jaw is getting tired. Touch the head of his cock with your tongue, blow lightly on his shaft, make it look like you're teasing him- you don't have to dislocate your jaw, and he doesn't have to know you're not just teasing him all sexy-style.

When i was with my past boyfirends, everytime we haD sex, i never enjoyed penetration. it always felt insanly wierd to me for some reason and it hurt everytime. i let them becaue they enjoyed it and that alone satisfies me.
but when i watch my porn i always love watching DP stuff.
anyone else Like this?

>>4469
I've always been into watching DP, even though I always said to myself that I wouldn't even go near doing anal. (Now that Scoutpapa's had his fingers in my ass, I realize it isn't a bad idea.) Maybe it's a "wanting what you can't have" thing.

On a related note, ever since I started having sex with Scoutpapa, I can't get off to porn. It doesn't turn me on because it isn't him. Also, I can't even make myself orgasm with intensity close to what he gives me. It's wierd, but I like it.

>>4460
>>4464
Thanks and thanks. I've got a good pile of experience but I was wondering if any of you fine ladies and gents here on the chan had anything new to offer. I know by most dudes' logic ANY head is good head, but sometimes I feel like I could be better at it. The boyfriend tells me that I give the best head ever but I'm still insecure.

New topic: public sex. Have you done it/would you be comfortable doing it? I feel like a dirty whore when I think of the number of times and the variety of places I've done it.

>>4516

No, partially because I'm worried what people will think, and partially because I find being walked in on a turnoff/phobia. It takes a lot for me to have the courage just to show my partner my body.

>>4516
I'm too much of a pussy for that. I need the security and comfort of my home to get it on.

In other news, I'm more hyped about this thing than I should be. This thing is called OhMiBod and features vibrations that follow the music you put into the thing via your MP3 player of choice. This caters to my sound- and voice fetish like crazy. I definitely have to look into buying it once I've made my first experiences with vibrators in general.

... Resisting the urge to put Engie's domination lines onto it will be hard. Perry is a goddamn creeper.

>>4516
I don't want to receive anything in public except maybe a hand job, but I'd love to go down on someone in a changing room or something.

>>4565
I've heard bad things about durability. As in, it breaks crazy fast.
I shrug, though, as I have no personal experience.

I'm constantly touching myself because I find my discharge and pubic hair annoying. I often have to take a moist tissue and stick it up there to clean myself out and have to shave and pull the hair out with tweezers. I hate feeling wet, sticky and have things rub and stuck to me. Does this make it easier or harder to become stimulated by a toy or, eventually, someone else?

http://www.collegesexadvice.com/masturbation-mistakes.shtml

Hilarious. Poor bastards.

Advice for someone who has never been fingered but is ready to with bf? I've never done it to myself, ought I to do that once or twice before? Any advice AT ALL will be greatly appreciated. I'm just a little nervous.

>>4595
Make sure his nails are clean, cut and filed smooth. I've had a bf slice me open with his ratty, dirty nails. Otherwise just be ready to direct him.

>>4595
Test the waters, see what you like, as in speed, depth, etc. Also, take it slow at first, don't just let him be all "Whoo, two fingers!" because it might be uncomfortable.

>>4606
Ewwwwww

>>4606
>slice me open
>my face

>>4607
Okay c: I guess it's nothing to be nervous about doing myself... I don't know why the thought weirds me out more than another person doing that.

Another thing...hair? Is it disgusting to people? What do people usually do?

>>4623
I shave it, but more for hygiene reasons than for a pretty display. And I like to leave a little strip so my partner isn't vaguely reminded of paedophillia...

>>4606
Oh, that's happened to me before. Though his nails aren't in bad shape, he was just clumsy I guess.

Just out of curiosity, on the off-chance that there are any straight men on this chan, or people who can act as mouthpieces thereof:

Red wings. What say you?

My last boyfriend, y'see, was totally fine with it. I was super worried that he'd think it was completely repulsive, but he actually didn't at all mind - nor was it preferable to sex at any other point in the month.

Current boyfriend, however, is BIGNO.jpeg. Not that I mind, there are other things to do. But it's interesting seeing the different attitudes.

>>4625
Okay, I'll do that. I guess this is getting a little OT but is there a product you recommend? I've shaved a little before for a costume but a couple days after I acquired what I have learned are dubbed "bikini bumps". Any way around that?
Thanks, btw. I don't know why I feel more comfortable personally ASKING these things on a TF2 porn site than googling or asking a friend or something.

>>4640
Ooh yeah I've had those. Basically just get a high-end razor with 'bout 5 blades (four is okay but I wouldn't go lower than that), the one I've got is a Venus Embrace by Gilette, it's kinda expensive but it's worth it. Shave in the shower with the water running, or use some kind of moisturising gel (basically acts as shave cream but won't burn you into oblivion).
Also remember to always moisturize after shaving.
Voila! Your genitals are now beautiful like a topiary.

>>4627
I usually feel very ill during mine, so sex is just out of the question. And my partner's not cool with it either, so yeah.
Also, that image reminds me of when I told my friend that I'd gotten 'red tide'. She thought I'd meant I'd gotten food poisoning from fish. =x

>>4642
Excellent! As for the use of the actual thing, would you recommend disposing after one use? Or are there ways to milk it before the inevitable dump?

last question I swear

>>4652
Oh, with the good quality ones you're not even supposed to throw them out after a single use! I'd use mine around 8-10 times before it started to get blunt. You'll be able to tell if a razor's blades are going blunt because they'll pick at the hairs instead of slicing cleanly through them. And even then, I'd still use the razor on my legs and such.

>>4653
Oh and when I say good quality I mean theez http://www.gillettevenus.com/en_US/products/disposables/embrace_disposable/index.jsp

You keep the handle and buy replacement heads.

>>4627
Scoutpapa's generally fine with it, he just doesn't like his face there when the floodgates are open.

>>4653
>>4654
Ahh, gotcha. That's great you can recycle them for leg use, I am the cheapest and look for every way to save money.
Thanks a ton, you have no idea how much seemingly simpler you've made my life lololol

I seem to have a problem with premature ejaculation....but only with masturbation. During actual sex, so long as I'm not topping, I can last for an hour+, but when I'm just fapping, I can barely last more than 10 minutes, tops.

wat do

>>4688
Seriously 10 minutes is fine. I wouldn't call it premature at all.

>>4688
So? That's perfectly okay. If you want to last longer you might as well start out with touching other parts of your body before you get down to the actual business. 10 minutes is a perfectly okay time span and as long as you have fun, it's nothing to complain about. No worries.

So, I'm going to out and say it, my bf has a few... issues. He's at times unable to finish off, He's been poked and prodded and the doctors have no clue what the issue might be. He also has the libido of a slug atm. We've had sex once in 4 months. He's said it isn't me and that he's just like this some times.

I'm just wondering if anyone's had this happen in a relationship that's been long term. I don't know what to do, but I'm getting a tad sick of just cuddling.

>>4799
My relationship is that "problem" in reverse. My husband is always in the mood, while I'm lucky to be frisky a few days every month. It doesn't help that I have a few unresolved problems involving sex being incredibly painful for me a lot of the time, so I am usually not too crazy about that aspect of things. However, I've been married for nearly 2 years and have been with my husband for going on 8, so despite what Dan Savage says, it is possible to have a loving long term relationship when the partners have different sex drives.

Does your BF make any sort of compromises with you? I'll often fool around with my dude even when I'm not particularly in the mood for it, because I love him and I like seeing him happy, and making him feel good makes me happy, even if I'm not particularly getting any sort of sexual thrill out of the act.

Sometimes I feel like porn has conditioned people to feel like if they don't have a straight-up orgasm at the end of it then it is a wasted experience, which is not true. There have been several times when either of us haven't "crossed the finish line" but we had a good time anyway, and as long as you're not treating it as something horrible or something to be ashamed of, it's not really a big problem. Everybody has off days.

If he says it isn't you he's probably telling the truth.

>>4800
It's reassuring to know this isn't just us. He doesn't really go out of the way, but I think it's cause he knows that it would make me uncomfortable. The can get hard but I don't want to leave him with blue balls when I know that's part of the result.

We're pretty amazing together in every other way, and that's one of the major reasons I can't bitch to much.

This is completely embarrassing for me because I don't talk about sexual things with anyone but my boyfriend butttttt is there any company out there that anyone could/would suggest for purchasing a strap-on?

I'm completely stupid when it comes to anything other than typical missionary but my boyfriend thought it might help me enjoy sex more. I figured I might as well get over the awkward phase and ask.

>>4846

It's a shame we don't have the little flags on our posts anymore. If we did, we'd know which country to make recommendations for.

Where are you?

>>4849
It is a shame indeed. I'm in the U.S.

my special guy has a foot fetish, can anyone help a female anon out?

>>4883
... How? You haven't given us any info to base help on. First of all, what do you think of it? What does he want? Does he want to do something with your feet? Just touching them, massaging, or does he want to outright fap at them?

>>4886
well where are the general zones that I could focus on to give him pleasure during a foot massage? also how a foot job should be done right would be a great help too.

>>4887
I had an ex into feet. As far as I know toes and soles seem to be the main attraction, so do your guy a big favour and slather those fuckers in lotion then stick em in socks or slippers. Try not to go bare foot as it'll rough em up. Don't take it to extremes however, to much lotion can cause super sensitivity in the skin and make walking hurt. Depending on if he likes em in his mouth or not nail polish might be an option. Also if you're around him in just socks, try to plan for semi transparent knee high nylons just to be a tease. Also toe rings.

As far as foot jobs go there just remember soles and toes are the main show, so sliding him between your arches is a good starter, you can also use the space between your big toe and the next down to give soft pinches to the head. Just remember you're not going to be as dexterous with your feet and so start soft and then ask him if he wants harder. Communication is good if your learning. He also might get a kick out of you trying to please him so much while he steals some feet virginity.

If he's into tickling things might get complex. You will seriously need a safe word, but if you can hold out and not use it through the "oh god oww" phase then you might get some over loaded nerves and gasm out of nowhere like I did. There's a nerve running from the underside of your second to pretty directly through the genitals, so don't think he might be the only one to get anything out of it. I know that result of cumming from being tickled shocked me a bit when it happened.

Anyway, hope that helps some.

>>4846
GoodVibes.com is your friend. They have a selection of harnesses, but I really suggest their Bend Over Beginner kit- a harness and two silicone dildos for $95, which is a bargain. GoodVibes has put a lot of thought into their product line over the years, and this is a really solid starter kit.

There are cheaper kits out there, but they are nasty. Particularly avoid any dildos that are moulded onto the harnesses, or any harness with elastic straps. If you want to buy the dildos and harness separately, the GoodVibes velvet harness is still a fair bet, and just choose any dildo that has a flared base all the way around the bottom, so that it doesn't slide out of the ring in the harness.

I feel like a whore for thinking like this. But I would probably get it on with almost any guy who's good looking enough just so I can finally get laid.
Is this normal?
Also, how weird is having fantasies about a teacher you find attractive?

>>4945
If all you want is a one nighter than no, not really anything wrong with it.

De-name fagging because this is way too embarressing to me, sorry.
I said once before I didn't care for masturbating. It just doesn't do it for me.
I felt all hot and bothered the other night though and couldn't help myself.
So I just worked with my fingers for a while. Nothing.
Then I thought to use a brush handle, and worked with that for a while. Nothing.

It went on like this for like, ten minutes.

Ugh, masturbation is definately not for me at all.
Dammit, I much prefer others over my own touch. I can't get off though due to my pathetic single status.
Or is it "not-so-single" status. My "relationship" right now is so confusing I have no idea.

tl;dr tried legitimately masturbating the other night, wasn't pleased at all.
I miss being sexed up by another, but woe is me, I can't.

>>4949
You may have been focusing on the wrong areas, most of your pleasure nerve are on the fist inch and a half/outside or very deep. If you get the urge again maybe just try clit play. I find rubbing in clockwise circles the most effective for some reason.

>>4949
Sounds like you didn't use the right techniques. Try different motions on different areas of your body. What CB suggested is already good, you can experiment with other ideas too. Google if you need inspiration. Also incorperate what makes you comfortable and relaxed - Music, a bath beforehand (you could even do it while you're in the bath if that's your kinda thing), your favorite blanket or pillow, the list goes on. Making masturbation pleasant can rely on so many factors so don't give up.

Okay, my problem isn't as much physical as it is psychological.

I am female, with a wonderful boyfriend. We've been together since last spring. Among the first thing we settled in this relationship was "no cheating, but porn is alright". Seems simple enough, no?

But I guess I'm just a slut. Even though our sex is good and I really love him, I feel a bit confined when I realise that I can't fool around. When someone flirts with me, I'm terribly tempted, but so far, I've solved it by talking about it with my bf. Because, if he knows the people interested in me, it would be harder for me the cheat on him.

I've never cheated on my former partners, but I do have a very high sex drive. My boyfriend was also a virgin when we first met, so it was a bit awkward at first...

I mean, I've promised to stay faithful, and I love him to bits, but every time I think that perhaps this relationship will be a long and happy one, I miss being able to sleep around or flirt with anybody. I should be happy to have a wonderful boyfriend, right?

tl;dr: Loves boyfriend, but wants to cheat on him. Why?

>>4932
My boyfriend appreciates this suggestion much more than I ever will, so thank you.

>>4955
Maybe you're one of those people that just enjoy the freedom of an open relationship. On the other hand if this is new to this guy, then you might be second guessing the relationship, it's easy to psych yourself into ending a relationship because one part might not be satisfactory.

By the sounds of it it's more likely the first option and you're just Polyamorous, especially since you've talked to him about it and are doing this in the open.

I wouldn't call you a slut, like you've called yourself, some people are just happier in open relationships than feeling a lack of freedom from closed ones.

If your boyfriend is open to it then wave your poly flag high and don't ever let people tell you you that your sexuality is any less valid than theirs.

So man, I have to get this question off of my chest or I'm not going to sleep in peace.

Perry here has recently grown VERY fond of the Gunslinger. Specifically of inserting it into places.
Now she wants to mimic this in real life but got no idea how.

Can anybody suggest a sextoy or something that's safe to use that would feel similiar? You know, cold, metal, hard, the works? I'm aware that something specifically like the Gunslinger doesn't exist, but even something remotely close would make me happy. I still got my imagination after all.

So yeah ... Help please, sextoy gurus? You would make me pretty damn happy with any ideas.

>>4949
I never got off solo until I bought a vibrator.

Have you tried that?

>>4976
You could get a metal dildo and stick it in the fridge. Just watch out if you're planning on freezing it in the freeze, frost bite is easy to get on the bits and/or tongue on a fence post in winter.

So stubs and partner have taken a look at that 'Bend Over Beginners Kit,' and wanted to know: when GoodVibes ships, if it nice and discrete? We both still live with our parents, so receiving a box with PURPLE STRAP ON DILDO stamped on the side would be... undesirable.

>>4965
Problem is, he is not open to the idea of me sleeping with someone else. I've talked about this, not really "can I please have sex with someone else?", but more like "I get terribly tempted to have sex with others, but I don't want to hurt you".

Right now, I'm trying to satisfy my need with porn.

I have felt this before, in earlier relationships. But back then, I didn't have as much experience with fuckbuddies etc, so I thought that my fantasy would be better than reality, and just shrugged it off. Before I met this guy, however, I had very recently had sex with two different men I hardly knew.

I am also bisexual, and even though I'd hate to say it, I sometimes wish I had more experience with ladies.

But thanks for at least not judging me. I call myself a slut, but then again, I do not feel that slut is a bad word in itself. I just tend to think that a person, whatever gender, who is promiscous and wants a lot of sex, could be called a slut. There's nothing really wrong with that, as long as everyone involved are informed, consenting adults.

Good Vibes' packaging isn't just discreet, it's downright boring. The return address isn't even "GOOD VIBES," I seem to recall it being "GV Inc." They know what they're doing.

I'm not virgin, but I never french kissed.

>>5183
I'm the opposite, but I've only french kisses a few times with the same guy. I'm not really into it, I think mouths are gross places anyway. Then again I'm not a highly sexual person in general.

>>5148
See, I'm in exactly the same boat as you, here. Or rather, was. For a few months last year I ended up in a monogamous relationship (not usually my thing at all)but what made it all the more complicated was that my girlfriend already had a girlfriend.

And THAT girlfriend had a boyfriend. It was sort of like polyamory, except... Not. What this girl had ended up with was two, seperate monogamous relationships. Where it could've been awesome and become a sort of 'love square', it ended up as a line, going me-her-her girlfriend-her girlfriend's boyfriend.

Problem was, me and her girlfriend and her girlfriend's boyfriend all wanted to fool around and be awesome, but my ex wasn't interested in this at all, and it ended up getting horribly awkward and then collapsing. Now she's a grumpy cow, and me and her (now ex-) girlfriend (and her boyfriend) are fabulous - if infrequent - fuckbuddies.

Anyway, providing you got through all of that without your eyes crossing, my point is this. Some people are built for mongamy, others are not. It's very (VERY) good of you to make an effort to stay monogamous (as I did when my ex decided she wanted a closed relationship), but as a guy who once almost-cheated on his boyfriend with me once said, 'If I want to, that's half the battle lost already'.

You should discuss this with your boyfriend some more. Heck, point out the possibility of a M-F-F threesome, he shouldn't say no to that. Another one of my exes and I had a policy (because we were both bi) of 'It's not cheating if it's the same gender'. Mainly cause she loved seeing me kiss pretty men, and I wasn't averse to seeing her making out with a girl.

tl;dr i've said nothing helpful at all oh my god

This is a bit of a longshot given the chan's demographic but is anyone versed in toys for men?

the kind that goes ON you not IN you. fleshlights, that egg thing, etc...

>>5208
Tenga Egg! I want one to play with just because it looks like it could be hilarious fun. I'd like to see if it'll stick the ceiling if you throw it hard enough. I know a guy that used one who said it was better than a regular hand-job but not nearly as good as a blowjob.

>>5207
Thanks anyway. It means a lot to hear about the experiences of others.

>>5212
My god that looks like a fun... thing.

Contraception question!

I am not on the Pill. Is there a super-reliable condom/lube/etc. (spermicides?) combination that I can use, or would I be better off pill-popping?

>>5242
Spermicide foam even used correctly has a failure rate of about 8%, but the TYPICAL failure rate is a whopping 26%. When stacked with a condom or other form of protection, it is still about 3-10%. Even birth control pills are not a flawless victory, but it's like 99.7% success rate, so if you stack it with a condom you'll be fine.

I would really recommend a pill.

>>5242
To add to the previous poster, IUS and contraceptive patches have almost the same level in the Pearl index. I'd recommend IUS specifically if you have trouble taking the pill on time and if you don't plan on having kids anytime soon.

>>5242
To add on to previous posters, there are hormonal options that are neither the pill nor an intrauterine device. There are the shots, implants, patches (as mentioned by Perry), and Nuvaring. I personally have used Nuvaring for 5 years, and I only have to think about it twice a month (a week apart), which suits my lifestyle.

Do a little research and take into account your lifestyle when choosing a BC. There are many options, so there's probably one to suit your needs. Here is the Pearl Index, along with references, so you can have a clear idea of failure rates when researching BC. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods#Comparison_table

So, I have pretty much the best boyfriend in the world. I've never met anyone with whom I'm so happy to be open about what I want in the bedroom. He has issues about hitting/choking me as hard or as often as I like to be, but that's adorable, and he tries, so I'm okay.

But I've recently realised that I don't just love touching him and him touching me because lololol I love him and he's sexy, I also really like the cock. I mean, he's tied me up and touchings everywhere and he's all "what do you want me to do now?" and I'm all "COCK. MOUTH. NOW. PLEASE I NEED YOU IN ME"

And this has been great, but I've been fantasising like you wouldn't believe recently about bringing more cock into the equation. He is understandably a little hesitant about this, but would hypothetically go along with it for me, being wonderful and all. So a couple nights ago I got super smashed and started propositioning his best mate (whose party we were at). Fortunately for my pride, the boyfriend had passed out at this point, and the best friend claims not to remember anything from pretty much the whole night. This is particularly good because I ended up kissing and feeling up aforementioned best friend (not kissing on the mouth, and not crotch-feeling), and he was completely "oh man if I was single" (did I mention he also has a girlfriend? Drunk-me is a BAD PERSON. The kind of person I swear at when they're on the television).

Anyway, I think the most important lesson I learned was that I can want to fuck another person like a mad bitch, and not love/lust after my actual partner any less. And I am glad to know this about myself. But I feel a little guilty about it, even though I told my boyfriend about all my actions (though not where my dirty little mind was the whole time), and he was surprisingly completely okay about it.


tl;dr I'm worried I'm a terrible person, and my boyfriend is going to get brilliant I-feel-guilty sex tonight.

>>5242
Also not on the pill here, because hormonal contraception makes me fucking CRAZY and kills my sex drive.

I just use condoms and water based spermacidal lube. The lube is the important part, because a well-lubricated condom has less of a chance of breaking. Use lots of lube. Also you can have him take a hot bath once a week for extra assurance. Make sure the water is really hot. Sperm can't survive above a specific temperature (hence testicles being outside the body). It's an ancient method of contraception, though I wouldn't totally rely on it.

>>5251
Well sprinkle my cupcake, this list is just what I've been looking for. Scoutpapa and I have discussed myself getting that five-year IUD when we save up a little money so we can not spend money on condoms and not have to worry about me getting pregnant before I even start teaching.

Realizations: I don't like anyone. I hate being touched and find the idea of sexual relations horrifying/ disgutsing. I once had a girlfriend for a few months, never so much as kissed. Have tried to find someone more attractive than "oh she isn't ugly and I don't hate her." Unable to develop feelings for anyone past basic friendship. Occasionally look at porn, usually have little interest, like going through the motions without caring much. Is as if I have lost all drive. I used to obsess about finding someone to have a relationship with. Now I don't care. Not sure what my goal here is, just ranting.

>>5271
I'm a little like that too. I don't think sex is digusting I'm just not really interesting in doing it with another person. Relationships seem complicated and I don't get the lovey dovey stuff real well. Maybe you're asexual? One of my teachers was like that and he was still the happiest guy I ever met.

Hrm, so, I'm kind of facing a small problem here. I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, foreveralone, whatever, so I tend to masturbate. A lot.
It used to be that when I masturbated, I would get the job done relatively fast. Nowadays it takes forever, even with toys. It used to be that I would be done during the commercials, but now I'm lucky if I manage to catch the last bit of the show.
Not only that, but NOTHING seems to turn me on anymore. I go through all the motions; look at porn, mess with myself, etc. but nothing doing. A friend suggested that I take a break, but even after a week I can't get anything going. This is all really frustrating for me, hell, I think it's gotten to the point where I'm more snappy and irritable.

So, what I want to know is, has anyone else had a problem like this? And if so, got any advice? This is all really driving me crazy.

>>5283
My good member of the chan of uncertain gender, you appear to have broken your genitals.

>>5283
You've just desensitized yourself. Don't look at porny stuff or masturbate for a while, and you'll level back out. It may take a while, but that's the best advice I can offer you.

>>5335
Awww jeeez, of course I managed to leave out the one bit of information that would have been the most help. Well, I'm female if that's of any use now.
>>5339
That's what I've been trying for a good week now. But still, you make a good point. I guess I'll just wait it out a little longer and hope I don't get any more irritable. Thanks, man

>>5344
Yeah, I've been there, and last time it took me a month to go back to "normal." It's rough, but it's better than feeling nothing.

>>5283
Are you me? It seems like the only time I can even get off as good as I used to is when I get stoned.

Girlfriend hasn't wanted to have sex with me in three months

Can't masturbate

Starting to look at other girls

Halp D:

>>5489
I'm in the same boat, maybe just check in with her and make sure it's her having problems with her own shit and not with you. If she says she's stressed ext. then take a night to make her dinner and give her a massage with no expectations of sex. Chances are she'll see how caring you are in trying to help her de-stress and that will at least keep you close.

I'm not sure why you can't masterbate, but just remember everyone in long term relationships will eventually look at other women/me. That's normal and not something to be ashamed of. Maybe if masturbation is just not working then just keep your mind occupied. Keep busy and you won't have time to think to much about it.

>>5490

Apparently she IS having problems, but she refuses to speak with me about them and then gets all huffy when I get upset.

>>5501
Try to keep her calm and remind her that you aren't in the relationship just for sex, but that you feel a bit rejected and are hurt.

If she's not willing to talk about it at all, then it might be time to move on as hard as it can be; since she's not trusting you and pushing you away.

>>5501
Are you approaching it in a sensitive manner? Find a time where neither of you are busy, perhaps after dinner on a weekend, or you could tell her in the morning "Hey I'd like us to have a conversation about something a little later in the day, could you please make some time for us?"

I think you have every right to know what's been going down with your girl. Let her know how sincere you are. And like the poster above said, remind her that you care about HER. It's important to find out if there are underlying issues that go beyond not wanting to be intimate.

Any other asexuals here?

>>5546
Yo, What's up?

i mangled my hand at work.

my sex life is over.

>>5546
Why, hello there. Gray-A representing.

>>5546
I'm either asexual or straight with a weak sex drive and little interest in dating.

Hmm, I'm curious. I consider myself bisexual...only by process of elimination but I don't really think there's a word for what I am. Maybe A hetero-Romantic lesbian?

My issue is this... Whenever I'm single, I only think about guys, I fantasize about men and pretty much only men, however, whenever I get a chance to actually be with a guy I can't stand it. The thought of sex with men is great, but I hate it when I'm actually with one. I've been with all sorts too, including extremely classically "attractive" guys who I would consider "my type".

The opposite is true for women, When I'm single, hooking up with women doesn't cross my mind at all, but the few times I've actually thought "screw it" and tried dating a girl, it's been amazing, and I always fall fast and hard. When I'm dating a girl I can't stop thinking about them, fantasizing about them, and I always have the time of my life in bed.

My question is...what the fuck would you call this? And is there anyone else with a similar experience? As you can imagine it's tricky for me to date people successfully, because any initial interest is quelled almost immediately, and the people I'm probably actually compatible with...I'm not interested in until we're actually together and couply...

tl;dr: fml, I should probably just give up.

>>5572
You don't need a definitive name for your preferences. It's okay to use the Kinsey scale, round up, or a name that's really only approximate. Whatever you want. So many people, if they actually sat down and thought about it, would realize they don't fit into the Straight/Bi/Gay trinary (shit, let's make up words) that it isn't even funny.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=5542868

I, for example, can only get off to the idea of men, and see myself settling down with a man in the future. But I've fallen in love with women before, and wanted to screw them, and kissed them, etc. I reserve the right to call myself straight despite the fact that I have feelings for chicks sometimes because I feel like it most accurately gets my experiences/wants across.

>>5502

Wow, dude, I don't think breaking up because of sex is entirely appropriate.

>>5588

To the contrary. Sex is an integral part of any healthy relationship, which is precisely why you see so much hypocrisy among those who try to regulate it--the human body simply cannot resist such a basic and normal act, no matter how much they try to convince themselves that sex is bad/wait until marriage/they're not really gay/whatever.

Is it the MOST important thing in the relationship? No, of course not. But your heart isn't the most important organ in your body, but you still can't live without it.

Withholding of sex from one party to the other usually means one of two things: they're emotionally abusing the other person's need for this basic human urge...or they're getting their sexual gratification from somewhere, or someone, else and don't need you anymore.

>>5590
You Trollin'.
>>5546
Ace reporting in.

>>5590
To the contrary. Butter is an integral part of any healthy sandwich, which is precisely why you see so much hypocrisy among those who try to regulate it--the human body simply cannot resist such a basic and normal spread, no matter how much they try to convince themselves that butter is bad/wait until dinner/they're not really hungry/whatever.

Is it the MOST important thing in the sandwich? No, of course not. But your heart isn't the most important organ in your body, but you still can't eat without it.

Withholding of butter from one bread slice to the other usually means one of two things: they're distastefully abusing the other person's need for this basic human urge...or they're getting their carbohydrate gratification from somewhere, or someone, else and don't need you anymore.

idk

>>5590
Sex is an integral part of a healthy relationship, yes. But only if both partners actually WANT sex. As in, they actually have a seI AM A FAGGOT HUMP MY RUMPrive.

>>5596
That made my day.

>>5590
>Withholding of sex from one party to the other usually means one of two things: they're emotionally abusing the other person's need for this basic human urge...or they're getting their sexual gratification from somewhere, or someone, else and don't need you anymore.

Or, you know, the person just has a different sex drive.

Is this how people really think? I never want to get in a serious relationship if that means I have to spread my legs on demand or run risk being accused of cheating or abuse.

>>5599
Hey, as a pretty-much asexual (Gray-A) in a long term (coming up on 4 years), faithful relationship with someone who wants (he would say needs, pff) it daily, sex is not the most important thing. You do have to make compromises, but that is true of every relationship. If the person you're with truly cares about you, they won't accuse you of anything, and they won't run around on you.

Remember to keep communication open, and, from my personal experiences, if the lower-drive partner even has an inkling of wanting sex, tell the high-drive partner and take advantage of the opportunity. The high-drive partner may not audibly appreciate it, but know that they will appreciate any accommodation you give them.

>>5599

>never want to get in a serious relationship if that means I have to spread my legs on demand or run risk being accused of cheating or abuse

Oh hi, welcome to my last serious relationship.

Wow, the point of that post seemed to have flown over everyone's heads. I never said "have sex erryday!" nor did I say "have sex whenever the other person wants."

What I said was simply "sex is important." And unless you're part of the incredibly tiny, almost statistically insignificant part of the population that identifies as asexual (which is apparently half the people on this site), you'll find that to be true. Yes, different people have different sex drives and different expectations, so it's important to talk about that with the other person. If your expectations don't match, you may not be compatible. This goes for everything. That's all I was trying to say.

As for the "emotionally abusive" part, withholding something from a significant other as punishment (key words, "as punishment") is considered a trait of emotional abusers. Instead of discussing the problem in a constructive manner, they withdraw and prevent the other person from understanding and fixing the problem, usually intentionally because their needs are being met elsewhere (i.e. an affair). This is very distinctly different from someone who, for any other wide variety of reasons, does not want to have sex with their significant other that day. This refers only and specifically to people who, as punishment, refuse to have what was previously considered a normal amount of sex for that relationship.

tl;dr version: different people have different needs, find someone compatible, communicate your needs, do not withhold sex as punishment, explain yourself and work things out.

>>5605
I got what you were saying.

"(which is apparently half the people on this site)"

Well if they aren't having sex, they gotta do something. Fits the old (incorrect) joke about gamers being virgins I guess heh.

I'm attracted to someone I met over the internet who lives on the other side of the world. We chat and flirt to the point where sex is mentioned and it gets me hot and bothered. I want to cyber/roleplay smut with them, but way too nervous about being upfront about it.

Any suggestions?

>>5605

original whiny anon here

Pretty sure she's not doing as a punishment, but I still feel incredibly neglected. I just like the affection, but i feel like an utter slimeball asking for sex.

Hello Sextalk. I'm unsure how to really talk about this but I'll be blunt about it.

I love giving oral to my significant other, and I've been told that I'm pretty amazing at it. My ex (with whom I became sexually active) was circumcised so it became very easy for me to pleasure him during oral. I've recently entered a new relationship with my current boyfriend who is uncircumcised, which is an entirely new experience for me. I guess my question is how can I make blowjobs more pleasurable for both him and I since I've never really had experience with an uncut penis?

>>5611
If you don't want to be blunt about it you could always take the sneakier route and just take matters a tad further to see how the other person reacts. Like talking about sex some more when it is brought up. Or starting to discuss online sex. Continue if the other person doesn't decline.

>>5647
How much foreskin does he exactly have? There are dudes who have a lot of it and others whose skin you would never notice when the penis is erect. If it's not of the "It will get in the way" kind, you should be just fine with your regular techniques. Move it away and get down to business. I can't give you protips though so you should wait for more opinions.

>>5647
Depending on the amount and sensitivity of the foreskin, the "best technique" will vary. Personally, if I wanted to know how the satisfy a lover, I would ask. "Does this feel good?", "Do you want me to go faster?" and so on.

A tip: you could use your lips to move his foreskin back and forth. Maybe lick a bit under the edge of it. Intact males usually masturbate by moving their foreskin back and forth over the tip of the penis. A similar motion will be appreciated.

I've never had sex with a circumcised man though, so I don't really know if it differs that much during oral sex... probably not.

Speaking of blowjobs, general blowjob tips? My man has a hard time coming, he rarely ejaculates during vaginal sex and I've never been able to make him ejaculate through oral.

I'm told I'm pretty good at blowjobs, I practice a great deal at all the tricks (this comes from being highly competitive at everything I do). I start with licking the head and making circles around it with my tongue, inserting my tongue into the foreskin, etc, then move onto bobbing a bit and putting the dick into my cheek, mouthing it, humming, sucking, moving lips over crown - then continue onto deepthroating a couple times if I'm in the mood to, repeat steps two and three depending on what I'm up for. I'm told all of these feel really good, but honestly my mouth gets tired/I get bored after about 15 minutes or so of this and he still hasn't come. I understand that sex isn't just about ejaculating but damn, it would be nice for it to happen just once without him having to jerk himself off afterwards!

I'm told he's come from like, sensational blowjobs before, but how do I get my game up to porn-star levels without... hiring one? I feel like there's something I'm missing. He also sucks (no pun intended) at giving me feedback. Once in a while I'll pause and ask questions like "Faster? Slower? What would you like me to do?" and he'll give incredibly vague answers.

For some reason I find my pubic hair both annoying and fun to play with/pluck/pull out. Is this normal? Do others here feel this way about their pubic hair? Am I better off just trying to leave it alone?

>>5693
I do, I try to trim it but then miss pulling it out. I don't get it, but I think it's a kind of hair pulling compulsion.

I'm depressed and moody as shit from 2 weeks on BC pills (Loestrin 24). Does it get better?

>>5794
That depends, you may want to switch brands if it hasn't cleared up in a month or two, right now you're body's just getting used to the hormones being regulated and yes it blows. If it's getting super bad, to the point where you can't function then call your doctor.

I know just that feeling, been on control since I was 12.

So I just recently started seeing someone, but he doesn't seem to want to do ANYTHING. Now I find him cute and I am by no means ugly (what's modesty herp), but I'm kind of at the end of my rope here.

It's been a month and I have to be the one to initiate anything. We've only ever made out and even that has been eh. Can anyone say sloppy kisser?

Does anyone have tips to a) teach my guy to slow the hell down/kiss better without hurting his feelings and b) nudging him into being more forceful with me? I've mentioned that I like it a bit rough, but he just blushed and said "oh" before changing subject.

>>5794
i want to say... no. but listen to combat baby.

>>5810
It really depends on the individual. It could be depression from something else.

I was out of town for a week and when I got back my boyfriend surprised me by buying me a strap-on. We've never used toys before and while I'm really excited to peg the shit out of him, I don't really know what I'm doing!

Any advice on this front?

>>5693
Over the last couple of months I've grown to love my pubes. Before I started shaving, I used to only pluck stray or loose hairs to the point where I actually kind of enjoyed plucking. Then I went through a phase of shaving it all off and I found that ever since then I don't really pluck anymore. Now I've found a happy medium between shaved and bushy, but ever since then I've never really found much joy in plucking anymore.

Oh hi again, Sextalk. I suddenly feel like I'm hogging the board without offering much advice on stuff, but I do have two questions:

1. The sex between my boyfriend and I is amazing, but the other night he mentioned that sometimes he has trouble staying hard with condoms (which hasn't been a problem recently). I'm entertaining the idea of going on BC as a second method of protection along with condoms, but the issue is, I used to be on BC when I was kid because I started puberty at 8 and had no idea how to handle a period. The doctors put me on Depo-Provera BC which effectively stopped my periods, but my previous doctor forced me off birth control because she was worried that being on BC during my developmental years will cause permanent damage to my body and that there hasn't been enough research about girls who use BC during puberty. I can get an exam with the school since I'm still a student, but I'm wondering if they would know anything about my situation as far as being able to use birth control, or should I attempt to see a "real" doctor about my predicament? It would be really nice to know I can go on birth control again without doing harm to my body.

2. Anal sex. My boyfriend played a bit around my anus during sex the other night, and it was the scariest and most pleasurable experience I've ever had in a long time. I used to be very anti-anal, but now I'm almost considering trying it if it continues in the bedroom. Any advice on what to do? Do you regret it? Is it really any good? Help?

>>5821
My boyfriend had similar condom-issues - turned out he needed next size up. Could that be the issue?

>>5821
Sounds exactly like I used to be. Anything going up there isn't as freaky as it might seem, whether it's fingers or something thicker. Just make sure there's lubricant involved (spit or the nice kind) and relax, you'll be fine if you want to explore it a little further.

>>5821
1. Get your medical records from the doctors who had you on Depo-Provera, and make sure that any doctor who might mess with your hormones from now on sees them.

2. Yayyy buttsex! It's wonderful. I find non-latex condoms and nitrile gloves to be a very present help, especially in combination with oil-based lube. In my opinion, plain ol' Vaseline is the perfect stuff for buttsex- stays where you put it, doesn't dry out (one of the functions of the lower intestine is to conserve water from what you've eaten, so the bum tends to just absorb water-based lubes). It's important that the safer-sex gear should be non-latex, since oil dissolves natural rubber. Condoms are used for the obvious reasons; you might be able to forego them if you go on hormonal birth control and are sexually monogamous, the gloves protect yer butt from any incidental sharpness or roughness of your partner's fingernails.

Part of what had me scared off of buttsex initially was the prospect of a mess. I'm germophobic, so the idea really bothered me. Frankly, I tried enemas and whatnot, but they just made me feel like I had a stomach flu, kind of wrecking any prospect of sexiness. Trying it without, I found that it's not actually that messy. Throw down an old towel on the bed, maybe keep some baby-wipes on hand for after, and accept that you are a biological organism, is my best advice there. Relax, try fingering first, and don't just jump into it like Soldier railing Engineer, and you'll be fine.

>>5849
Thanks for the advice and the tips! He fingered my butt for the first time last night during oral, and I don't think I've ever had such an intense orgasm, ever. (Idgaf if that's too much information, I really just need to brag to everyone about it.)

You guys are the best <3

i fucking hate when wanking ruins a new manicure

goddamn

that is all

>>5849
As someone in the same situation as Stereo regarding anal, I'm very thankful for this info! Thanks, Marty. It's hard for me to accept that my butt is still my butt and I'm a tad germophobic about it too, but I'll try. I think I'll go about playing with it alone first to get more comfortable. If I need a kick in the, well, butt to finally forget my silly worries I'll ask you!

My inability to participate in casual sex isn't a problem, exactly. The internet has helped me find outlets to direct my sexual energy that isn't strictly solo, but I'm finding the issue to be the same. I feel that I've become more emotionally attached than I feel I should be for a medium in which the partners are just an assemblage of characters on a monitor.

I wonder if I'm just not cut out for anything more than just me, myself, and I to avoid accumulating more emotional baggage and decrease my chances of finding a steady, monogamous partner in the future. Part of me thinks if I just expanded my own techniques I'd find masturbation more satisfying, but I'm not entirely convinced that will solve my problem.

>>5808
It sounds like he's just shy! Give him some time to warm up. A month really isn't that long, and every relationship grows at a different pace.

With that said, you could try requesting things in the heat of passion. Want him to slow down? Tell him to match your pace. That goes for the aggressive thing, too. Do you know what you want? If you want him to bite you on the neck, tell him to do it. It's possible he's just unsure of how to act forceful, so clue him in on what you like. Guessing what your partner wants can be difficult, so just be patient with him. And remember positive reinforcement!

Regarding your OTHER point, you ought to siddown and talk with him about it. "Hey, I feel like I'm the one to initiate anything physical between us most of the time. I feel [feeling] because [reason]. Is there something wrong?" If you open up to him, he will probably open up to you too.

I don't claim to be a sex goddess or the most experienced person in the area ever but I hope this gave you some ideas.

>>5546
'Sup. Pretty much heteroromantic though I don't consider myself exclusively so. Looking at porn does arouse me and make me hard, but I never want to masturbate or put my hands anywhere near there. Is anybody else like that? As in still responsive to erotica, but not interested in actual sex or genital stimulation? BlackDoomShadow's post made me feel kind of like a freak.

Is there a word for a fetish that involves hearing other people masturbate/talk sexy?

Just curious. It's a new thing that I've found to be very fun. :3

>>5948

>BlackDoomShadow's post made me feel kind of like a freak.

>>5950
i dont know, but my missus has got it bad

>>5950

Isn't that an extension of acoustophilia?

>>5950
Sort of. I've got a thing for having my partner mutter terrible things into my ear.
Voices are sexy as hell.

>>5950
Dude, I have a voice kink the size of the fucking moon and there's music that is arousing to me just with how it sounds. I can relate to ya.

>>5948
You and I sound a tad similar anon.

I find myself getting turned on by reading or looking at porn, but when I try to masturbate it never amounts to anything. I've tried a bunch of things to try and get my lady parts more stimulated but somewhere along the line my arousal just drops like a rock and I loose interest. ((this has happened every time in the past)) I've never truly gotten excited over masturbation.

It's just gotten to the point I have no interest or care of trying anymore, but'll still gladly look at porn.

>>5950
>>5963
>>5965
>>5973
>>5974

Acousticophilia - Sexual stimulation or arousal from sounds including music, songs, verbal abuse , foreign languages, screaming, panting, moaning, groaning, sighing, heavy-breathing , and sounds produced by people during sexual-congress .

The more you know~

>>5977
Same. I can only get off to my own touchin's when Boyfriend is watching and/or directing. When it's just me, it feels a little...pointless? I'm not ashamed or anything, I just don't see the point of orgasm if you're not sharing it with someone.

That said, I can lie completely still and work myself up to heavy breathing, gasping, clenched fists and little sounds just from constructing a fantasy entirely in my head (usually revolving around a fictional character, derp)

>>5986
i thought i was the only one who could do this haha
i don't feel so alone now

I just don't like touching myself when i'm in bed. i don't like having that mess on my hands and then being too tired (because i take a generally long time if i ever reach that point) to get up and wash up. Plus i don't live alone, so doing it all in my head seems to work best.

>>5989
Yep, being the eldest child still living at home does not help. (before you ask, not underageb&, just poor)

Anyway, that fantasising-discussion leads quite seamlessly into my open question: is it wrong that, when I'm lying in Boyfriend's arms after, I think of other men (again, exclusively fictional), and imagine what they'd be like in bed? Generally comparing them to Boyfriend - e.g. Would Character A let me tie their hands to my bed, would Character B be more hesitant, would Character C profess his undying love afterwards, etc. etc.

Not that I actually want to sleep with any man but Boyfriend, I just wonder what it'd be like. After all, Boyfriend satisfies me in every imaginable way; physically, emotionally, intellectually, hell, even musically. I just sometimes regret my lack of experience. More than anything else, I think I just want to know that I'm doing a good job in bed, that it's not just his bias of loving me that makes him say so.

Heh, captcha = jathun
Oh, JA-thun, you are FABulous

>>5990
It's fine as long as you don't feel like he can't provide enough fun for you compared to the fictional dudes. Maybe you two can share fantasies? If you can talk openly about it you should ask him about fantasies of his.

>>5986

I do this too, and it usually gives better results than fiddling around with my junk. 8)

>>5990
>>5989
>>5986

Sweet jesus, you must be me. Especially you, Ablubluh.

>>6004
I never think of anyone else during - I would definitely feel bad about that, even if it was agreed on beforehand. Feels sorta ungrateful. And Boyfriend and I are super honest/open about pretty much anything, so when I tell you he doesn't seem to have any fantasies or secret desires, I mean we have discussed the possibility a couple of times and he just goes "eh, pretty much everything I want we do already, and I don't know Amy Lee's phone number". He is not very kinky, but I am not much more than he is so it works well.
>>5989
>>6012
>>6018
This thread makes me so happy, in a I-wouldn't-ever-discuss-this-shit-with-anyone-IRL-so-knowing-I'm-not-totally-weird-is-nice way.

I've been nervous about asking this for ages, but here goes.
After years and years of blueballing and being to nervous/ashamed/uncomfortable to try, this fem!anon has taken to fapping.

To get straight to the point, my question is about the orgasm. I'll lie there, doing my thing, and then the following will almost always happen:
>hey that feels pretty good
>release in 3... 2... 1...
>... oh, was that it?

I'm somewhat concerned, because the majority of my orgasms seem to be vague, fuzzy blips. At least, I think that's what they are, because after a few hip-jerking moments, everything becomes hypersensitive, and any pleasure after that simply won't escalate until I recover.

So what I'm essentially asking is, what am I doing wrong, if anything? I'm not looking for that WOAH MIND-BLOWING ORGASM or anything, but once or twice I've had a fluttering stomach and convulsing and throbbing. I just want to actually feel somthing, ffs.

If such information is necessary, I mainly partake in clitoral stimulation, vaginal doesn't seem to do it for me at this point.

>>6090
I'm in a similar situation myself but I think that may be because I'm a bit desensitized down there due to constantly having to pluck the hair down there because it annoys me.

>>6090
Oh, I think I have that problem too.
Right now, the closest I've had to a proper orgasm (?) was with a shower head on a massage setting on my clit.

>>6090
I remember having orgasms like those when I was younger and inexperienced. Perhaps you could try a different technique, or just keep "practicing"? I generally believe that my masturbation skills (can you even say that?) have increased since I started out. Toys help as wel..

Have you experienced orgasm with a partner, and if so, has it felt any different?

>>6090
Don't feel bad if your first week, month, or even several months of fapping kinda suck or are confusing. I will tell you this, it will become easier, more pleasurable, and more comfortable with practice. The worst mistake you can make is trying too hard to orgasm, though. Just relax and focus on enjoying yourself! It will get better with time, trust me.

Okay, I have a question about feminine fapping; is it supposed to make such a huge ass mess, or am I weird? I can't tell if I'm cumming or pissing myself.

Hur dur I'm a virgin and have no idea how this shit works.

So i discovered last night that fast paced music helps me fap and it almost seems to make it feel better but it almost drowns out what i'm trying to think of while i'm doing so.
Choices, choices?

>>6151

Femanon, this is called squirting, it's female ejaclation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation

Fem here. Should I be completely lucid and normal after an orgasm? Because I see in films and such where the woman is all 'OMG I JUST CAME SO HARD. Now I can't walk for ten minutes, and I'll just keep moaning and gasping for breath, kay?', and I'm...I'm just...no.

It's like 'Wham-orgasm-5 seconds later= kay, back to my essay.'
Am I doing it wrong, or am I just like, superwoman or something?

>>6167
Movies exaggerate. Maybe that happens in rare occasions. I think you're normal, don't worry!

So my roommate told me she heard in class or something that only 10% of women ever orgasm. You guys think that's true? I don't believe it personally.

>>6168
It's not true, while an estimated 75% can't cum from direct penetration alone, most every woman can cum from that and/or direct clitoral stimulation. I personally think the lack of cumming from penetration alone is more from the angle the penetration is coming from, if it's not rubbing the front wall where the back of the Skene's Gland (now also refered to as the Female Prostate) and the g-spot are then it's just not as likely to happen.

In my opinion the idea that 90% of women can't cum is kind of hilarious when it's actually a matter of stimulating the right areas. It'd be like saying 90% of men can't cum based on rubbing their inner thigh.

>> 6167

Wouldn't call myself 'normal', but thanks.

10%? Pfft. Yeah right. I took a Human Sexuality class last year, and there IS a certain percentage of women that never orgasm, but it's certainly not 90%. Might be 10%, but I think even that's a little high.
Maybe it's that only 10% of women ejaculate? Perhaps? That sounds a LITTLE more believable, at least by common modern misconceptions and ignorance regarding the subject.

>Just bought a new vibrator
> Received it today, all of my excite as this is the first vibrator I've ever gotten
>MFW batteries not included

Maaaan.

>>6170
About direct clitoral stimulation, it kinda hurts when I do that, even when I'm being gentle as I possibly can be so I usually stop immediately. I'm PRETTY sure there's nothing wrong with my vag since I just went to my OB/GYN for something else and he didn't say anything was amiss. THOUGHTS? You seem to have a pretty good idea of what you're talking about.

>>6203
Some women are a lot more sensitive than others, direct for some can mean through the hood or even the labia. It's not abnormal at all, and in fact I'm kind of jealous of those who are that sensitive. Blame my masochistic side.

I'm the opposite due to my hormones, if it's not right on the nub then I might as well not even bother.

Also keep in mind that nerve wise the lower left hand (your left on your body) is the most sensitive because of placement so rubbing counter clockwise will be more intense than rubbing clockwise.

Jesus christ I know far to much about this shit.

Anon cause I'm a pussy.

I find both women and men physically attractive. I can get turned on by and fantasize about having intercourse with both sexes. I have had opportunities to pursure relationships with either sex for the past few years.. but for some reason, every time it gets to the part that I like, that I want, that I've been always dreaming of - the sex - I just close up and withdraw. Like, it's happened before that even when someone has been kissing me I've just felt awkward, wrong, and all 'do not want', even if I just spent a week fantasizing about kissing that person. I keep wanting to date someone, and as soon as they start touching me in any way - kissing, holding hands, etc - I just shut down and back off. |: I seem to only be able to open up a little more when I'm drunk.

I like the sex part, but when I think about responding to the advances of certain men and women that have shown interest in me and having sex with them, I just... can't do it. I know I will feel awkward and insufficient and bad about it. I also am afraid that I will suddenly see them in a whole new light after we have sex.

Am I asexual (ish?) or is it just.. something else? I have bipolar/social anxiety disorder so I've started to think it might be related to that..

>>6209

My friend deals with the same problem (haha. Kylee, is that you?), and with her it's almost certainly 100% her social anxiety. She said it was months before she even let one of her boyfriends feel her up. She's so self-conscious about stuff like that.
You certainly don't sound asexual. If you were, you wouldn't have any sexual stirrings like you describe. I think you're just dealing with some anxiety issues.

I'm thinking of eventually getting a vibrator but I'm a bit nervous about my parents finding out. I finally had an orgasm I could actually feel last night using an old massage mat I had for my back and I want to use something smaller. What's the best way to approach this topic with them, especially with my mom?

>>6222
Approach it the simplest way you can: You need what you need and it's not negatively affecting her.

>>6222
why ask her at all? If you have money for one, order it online and have it shipped to a friend or something. Or get your own secret PO Box. That's why I did for various reasons (Christmas gifts, bank overdraft notices that I don't need to be bitched at about, etc)

>>6222
You might want to go to an adult store instead of ordering online if you're worried about your parents. Make sure, either way, that you get a quiet model since you live at home still.

I'm renting from my dad and he's inquired about boxes I've had delivered that could be labeled "massager" or "novelty" and I've told him that it's none of his business. He knows not to go into the top drawer of my dresser because I've reassured him that I'm an adult, I'm not doing anything illegal, but I need my privacy on some things. Remind them that knocking and waiting for a reply before opening the door is a good idea.

If your parents snoop and do find anything chances are they won't bring it up because it's just as embarrassing for them to find their daughter's toy as it would be for you to know they found it.

If by chance they do ever bring it up just say you're an adult, and you'd rather not get pregnant by fulfilling yourself with a guy. That generally silences them.

I consider myself kind of lucky, my mom bought me my first massager when I was 16 so I didn't go getting sexually active as a teen like my sister did. But when I moved to my dad's I had to go over this stuff. At one point he was failing to respect that my room was private when I was out of the house. I stopped that by leaving a dildo on my desk to freak him out.

>>6222
If you're too skeered or too underaged to go to a sex store, you can get all kinds of "massagers" of various levels of deniability in the health section of any largeish store - I've seen brand-x pocket rockets at freakin' Walgreens, although they were next to the condoms. They won't be the sexiest-looking, but still effective (and a lot cheaper, actually).

>>6243
This is true, once ran into a wall plug one in a dollarstore for $5.

>>6223
>>6237
>>6243
Thanks for the help, I feel more comfortable about this topic and I'll probably go with going to a store to get what I need.

>>6237
Your mom sounds awesome. I was extremely sexually frustrated in my teens, but really bad at masturbation. So I got me a boyfriend instead. ...yeah

My mother has sometimes given me lingerie, like this hot corset etc... But never sex toys. Although I am bad at hiding my toys, so sometimes she's stumbled upon them. Awkward, but nothing too bad.

>>6249
My mom actually owns a 1950's vibe that was my grandmas and will one day be mine. We're pretty cool about that kinda shit in my family. Think is loud and scary as all hell, it has cooling fans.

>>6252
Pics? I wanna sett a vintage vibrator

>>6253
*see

>>6253
This isn't the one we have, but the model is pretty much the same. The family one has no attachments any more and is that tacky turquoise color the 50s seemed to have everywhere.

>>6255
That's frigging terrifying. I wouldn't put that in my vagoo if you paid me!

okay so I probably would. I like money.

>>6255
What the Hell, gimme that thing and a 10% solution of Clorox, I'll go for a ride.

>"man im bored."
>scroll past random GROW UR DICK 4 FREE add
>"wonder what it feels like having shaved balls..."
>half an hour later
>OH GOD THIS THIS WAS THE WORST IDEA EVER

>>6263

>>6259
Just outt of curiosity, but is there anything you wouldnt?

I'm thinking about learning to make molds for silicone.

I desperately want a bullet vibe embedded in a spider...

Fuck you brain, I'm not a fuck who wants to use animals (seriously, ewww), but you make me want to get raped by giant spiders. Damn old monster movies, comics and already having a thing for being tied up/sedated and threatened. I blame you for this.

>>6269
Just be sure to use protection, man.

You should keep an eye out around Halloween - they make some pretty enormous decorative spiders, and some of them are nice and fuzzy.

>>6272
I love these PSA ads. Do you have the one with the dude and the scorpion?

>>6243
I won't lie. Closest thing I've ever owned to a real vibrator is a neck massager I bought at Marden's. It was three dollars.
Works damn well, too. Looks kinda like an alien ray gun, but it gets the job done.

>>6272
Thanks for the laugh and advice, I'm just trying to come to terms with what a sick fuck my particular fetish makes me from an outside view. I know it's fucking off on many levels. Oh well.

>>6269
Would a life-sized scorpion fare you well in the meantime? It's an arachnid, at least. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18699

My friend has one- loves it for pulling pranks, although she's never said how well it works at its intended purpose. Reviews are favorable, though!

>>6282
Well I know what I'm buying.

I need some help removing some of my hair to be comfortable down below. I can't get to the area with scissors or a razor because it's around the anus and between the legs and waxing would probably not be a good idea. What's the best was to remove them?

I've been experimentimg recently with things in my butt. I'm enjoying myself, but the problem is that it's very hard to manuever things back there. Reaching all the way around is uncomfortable and I don't get very much movement out of it. Any tips?

>>6269
I want to learn to cast silicone, too!

Also... tied up and sedated? Um, like, what are you up to later?

>>6302
Good old disposable razor. Try to find one that doesn't have a billion blades on the head- thinner/smaller razors are the easiest to manuever in crevices.
Use a new blade a couple times before you put it near your nethers- you're more likely to slice yourself accidentally with a brand-new blade.
Go slow, take your time. Don't pull too hard on the razor.
Don't be afraid to check everything out with a hand mirror (or an elaborate system of mirrors) beforehand.
Shaving down below gets pretty invasive- be prepared to spread yourself with one hand for as long as it takes to get everything trimmed.
I tend to go against the 'grain' of the hairs, which leads to a smoother finish (in my experience). Done improperly, though, this can lead to ingrown hairs, which are still rare and only minor annoyances. You can usually tweeze them out.
Treat the area with lotion or a moisturizer afterwards. Not only does it make everything smoother and softer- the lotion tends to prevent the hair from growing back in as quickly.
If you even entertain the notion of using aftershave down there, you probably shouldn't be trusted with razors in the first place.

>>6332
I have a weird permastubble down there from doin' it wrong. Can I fix this?

>>6332
Do you have any lotion recommendations? I would like to eliminate the horrid BIKINI BUMPS

>>6336
- Are you shaving with or against the grain? Shaving with the grain tends to lead to stubble, because the razor can't get at the root of the hair.
- When was the last time you changed your blade or bought a new razor?
- Do you use long, sweeping strokes, or short ones? Short strokes tend to be more effective in clearing the thatch, as it were.
- Try soaking in a hot bath for a while before you shave. The hot water softens the hairs and makes them easier to shave away. Some people also have success with rubbing in hair conditioner all over the area- again, to make the hairs softer.

>>6340
Cetaphil and Eucerin are my go-to brands, but any plain non-scented super-moisturizing lotion does the job. Get a lotion that works well for your skin, and preferably one that's light and non-greasy so you don't end up with weird residue on your undies. Make sure you rub it all in, too- the lotion can't just be sitting on the surface of your skin.

Sup Sextalk.

So I recently discovered that I'm a huge tease. I love the game of flirting and getting someone to be attracted to you, but as soon as they express interest I lose all of mine.

I've noticed I do this with everyone. Teachers, casual friends, strangers at the coffee shop. It's the thrill of "oh shit should I be doing this" mixed with "I wanna win"

Feels really bad, man

I have a question about erections.

I'm writing a smut fic, and it's guyxguy, but I'm having a little trouble, owing to the fact that I am not personally familiar with male anatomy.
I just want information on the average male and erections.
1. How long can it take for a man to get from completely flaccid to as hard as they can get? Like, minimum time, maximum time- approximate.
2. How long can it take for an erection to go away after ejaculation? Again, approximate.

And yeah, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have a penis. If you have any vagina-related questions, I'd be glad to answer.

Has anyone used this / heard of it used?

I know it's designed for couples, but would be using it without a partner be worth the price (approximately $80) or effort of obtaining it? I'm mostly taking into consideration the external stimulation coupled with small to moderate sized insertion. I'm not exactly up on the sex toys scene, but it caught my eye, and the idea is appealing.

Necrobumping to ask a serious question.

I'm turned on pretty easily by just talking with my partner, and masturbate/fantasize fine. However...
I'm really, really turned on when my bladder's full. Like, porn doesn't turn me on at all unless I have to pee. I haven't yet managed to reach the same high with anything else than I have when I need to urinate. It's not the thought of urine, mind you, but the feeling of a full bladder that turns me on.

The problem with this is that I don't find urine PLAY very arousing. People wetting themselves, golden showers, pee in general in the bedroom = eeeeh.

Do you guys have any advice on how to bring this into the bedroom without ending up pissing everywhere? Is there a name for a bladder fetish that doesn't involve the urine itself?

My goodness I am suddenly very aware of my acousticophilia...Anyhow, on the subject of fetishes, is there a name for getting really aroused when seeing signs of fear like swallowing, or sweating, etc.? Or is that just considered something like sadistic?