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File 13005336923.jpg - (23.84KB , 450x272 , HOLY SHIT.jpg )
6099 US No. 6099
Saw this on a separate board and thought it would be fun here.
Discuss silly/dumb/interesting things you guys used to believe when you were kids.

I used to think Indiana Jones was a real person and that his movies were based off his real life adventures.
I also used to believe that I would get attacked by a shark in my uncle's hot tub, didn't help that he kept telling me the story about "the dog they used to have."

captcha: suxyah? Yeah, it sucked.
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>> DE No. 6100
I firmly believed we had a giant black gorilla living in our basement. I always ventured into the basement with a mixture of amazement and fear, certain I'd meet the gorilla one day.

I also thought that our house number was also the number of our street. I thought there actually were twenty streets with the same name, distinguished by numbers.
>> AU No. 6101
File 130053677685.jpg - (94.62KB , 852x1833 , Pantene_Shampoo_750ml.jpg )
I shit you not, I was going to make this thread a couple days ago. But I forgot.
I used to believe that a monster lived in the shower drain, because it always used to make a loud gurgling noise when water was running. I'd put a flannel over the drain to stop it from being so noisy =[
Also I thought a bigger version of the same monster lived inside the pool's cleaning pump.
Also, as I got a little older and after I was introduced to the 'birds and the bees', so to speak, I used to be super paranoid and think a bunch of men would ejaculate into shampoo before it was shipped, for no reason. Other than maybe it'd be tidier than doing so on the factory floor, I guess.

I was an odd child.
>> GB No. 6105
File 130054909612.jpg - (10.67KB , 180x180 , 161577_719167456_8077_n.jpg )
Mine was the devil-dogs under my bed. If I left any one of my limbs hanging over the edge of my mattress, it'd be bitten off. This was fact.
>> US No. 6106
I had a theory, not sure I completely believed it but it made sense that it could be true. I figured that while we were asleep, our conciousness was in something or someone else in the other side of the world, where it was day and people were awake. I figured while I'm awake I'm me, when I'm asleep, my brain occupies a blade of grass in China or something.

Also I used to hear marching footsteps at night. They'd get louder and faster and creep me the fuck out. Then one day I realized I was hearing my heart beat. And the more I scared myself, the louder and faster it was and the more scared I was.

I have a vivid imagination and an anxiety disorder, so yeah.
>> US No. 6110
Inb4 someone says God.

I used to believe if I didn't moisturize my hands enough they would shrivel up and fall off.
>> US No. 6111
In that "afraid of the dark" phase, I believed that the monsters that lurked around my room (including under my bed) couldn't attack me so long as I couldn't see them. I think that was everyone's belief though.

Also I believed that I couldn't fall asleep unless I had my eyes closed for a certain amount of time. If I opened them, I had to start all over again, regardless of how tired I was.
>> CA No. 6113
File 130056560659.jpg - (54.00KB , 400x500 , toilet009.jpg )
When I was really young, I used to think the Ninja Turtles lived in a sewer near my home. So when me and my mum would go out and walked by there I would always run up to it and call to them in hopes they would pop out. Sometimes I threw them down a snack in case they were hungry.
I also remember watching some movie where this toilet would I guess ate people? The memory of the movie is really hazy now..its been near 20 years since then, but anyways I always remembered how frightened I was if I were to stay in there too long or if I turned off the light and if the power would go out (which it did often; especially in the summer time) I would be scared to be anywhere near the washroom I guess because I would think it would or something else would come after me.
>> CA No. 6114
There was a point, when I was very young, that my sister told me that if I turned the loose handle on the dresser 3 times then walked, with my eyes closed, into the wall beside it that I would be transported to Narnia. It ended badly.

She also told me that the black canister in the kitchen was where the Easter bunny hid chocolate on the off season. I pulled it down and opened it. The stuff inside was brown and smelled nice so I took a hand full and put it in my mouth. This was how little babby combat learned about coffee.

A large amount of the crazy shit I believed was because of my older sister. But there is one I know that was all me. I'd be lying in bed at night and hear a sound from my pillow. Almost like something was tunnelling in it. I believed for a long time that an earwig lived in my pillow and would go into me head at night after tunnelling to it. The sound was just my heart beat.
>> SE No. 6118
When I was around 4 years old, I thought that only women were able to sing. So Michael Jackson was a woman in my mind. Maybe that's not so strange, seeing as he looked a bit feminine.

When I was about 6 years old, I thought that I could learn how to fly if I just tried hard enough. So I ran around during recess in school, flapping my arms like a moron.
>> US No. 6121
I used to think men were erect 24/7, and sex was comprised of

1. Woman lies on bed
2. Man gets on top and squirts semen into her
3. Pregnant

I thought the eyes in pictures could move around in the dark. I had big posters of Jafar and the Toy Story aliens on my wall, and I swore they did.
>> US No. 6128
I used to do the same thing, my parents had to give me a "magic kiss" on my forehead, so I would go to sleep as long as I didn't open my eyes.

I used to think that men would shove it in, they'd kinda lay there for a half an hour or so, read a book or something, and then be done with it.

I've always believed that there were monsters in storm drains, and that if you stepped on them you'd fall though. I still don't walk on storm drains. I also thought that if you sat on the toilet for too long, the pins and needles you'd get from your legs falling asleep were dust bunnies crawling up your legs. And I used to think that my TV and NES could turn themselves on, and that my Mario game would taunt me by not being able to beat Bowser.
>> US No. 6132
File 130059255617.jpg - (33.73KB , 553x589 , door_trim_rev.jpg )
When things got too quiet on the upper floor of my apartment, I used to believe that when I opened the door, there was a small chance that on the other side of the door would be another world where only I didn't exist. In that other world, I would walk down the stairs and into the living room where my parents would stare at me and ask me who I was, while I'd cry, failing to convince I was their daughter. it hurts

This probably led me to fear the possibility in Trilby's Notes, where you could be walking in a normal, quiet hotel one moment and then once you moved to the next room, you could wind up in an important area from the previous games with no other explanation other than it hurts.

it hurts
>> US No. 6134
I used to think that a vampire lived in my closet at night. It was always the darkest part of the room I shared with my brother and we always had to tell our parents to close it before they left the room.

I also used to think that every time I watched a movie, the characters in it were doing it right then and there.
>> US No. 6136
File 130059575024.png - (15.50KB , 478x360 , ohgoditsgoingtogetme.png )
When I would lie in my quiet room at night as a kid, I'd bury my head under the covers and I'd hear my own heartbeat. It sounded like giant feet softly stepping on plush carpet, and since there was carpet in my room, I imagined a giant black stick figure with huge feet was coming to get me and I was hearing his footsteps as he drew nearer to my bed. Terrorized me as a five year old.

Pic related, Mr. Game & Watch is the closest visual representation I can offer.
>> US No. 6140
File 130059737097.jpg - (9.49KB , 200x150 , 41574_3855520499_657_n.jpg )
So, my mom always watched these paranormal-type shows about ghosts and the like... Well, one day when it was late and I couldn't sleep again, I decided "What the heck" and went to watch her TV all sneaky at the foot of her bed. I watch the show. It was about this person's experience with a ghost where it would just randomly pop up out of nowhere and scream in their face. Yeah. For longer than I care to admit, I would walk around my house at night with my eyes closed, ears plugged, using my out-stretched elbows to feel around for walls. To this day, I am about the most paranoid person when it comes to those fucking videos with the yelling, ugly pop-up things.

tl;dr: Fuckin' screamers.
>> US No. 6141
I stealth-watched a lot of X-Files as a kid, and for a long time I thought that the aliens would take me if they could see me. They could see through the curtains but not my blankets for some reason, so I covered my entire body and tried to look like a big pillow-shaped lump instead of a child-shaped lump. To this day, covering my head helps me fall asleep if I'm having anxiety issues.

I also thought my neighbors would abduct me, because I couldn't understand what they were saying. (Thick accents + poor auditory discrimination = can't understand a damn word, they must be aliens.)

For quite some time I thought that all cats were female and all dogs were male, and they either split like bacteria or were two halves of the same species.

Oh, and I thought the words "pregnant" and "pregnancy" were swear words. I still don't know why.
>> No. 6142
File 130060549224.jpg - (6.68KB , 640x270 , gmork-8.jpg )
When I was a kid, Gmork from The Neverending Story scared the ever-loving fuck out of me. I was afraid to look out the windows at night because I was convinced I would see those glowing green eyes looking right back at me.
>> US No. 6144
I use to leave presents for Santa Clause when I was little, because I felt bad that he wasn't getting any presents. I got thank you notes from him, too. He even wrote that he might even let me be one of his elves when I turned 16. I was pretty devastated when I found the presents I had given to Santa in my mom and dad's closet. After that, my parents gave me the whole "Santa Clause doesn't exist" talk, and soon after that, my belief in God went down the toilet as well. It was one of those "If this doesn't exist, then what the hell does?" type of deals.
>> DE No. 6145

For a while, I thought men put their semen out into the world and they work like bacteria. I was very afraid of playing outside for that time.
>> US No. 6147

I used to think that men's piss was a magical elixir that would make a woman pregnant. I had assumed that this was the main reason they had separate bathrooms.
This was also why I refused to use the bathrooms at any house with a male.
>> US No. 6154

When i was little i didn't really know that men got erect and i also didn't know what semen was so i got really confused when i was younger on how sex worked.
My cousin and i thought that guys could get girls pregnant as long as they had sex with them so we thought that if girls used their hands to masturbate they would have finger-headed babies.
>> CA No. 6156
When I was little I had a super active imagination, Ibelieved monsters of all sorts (including ghosts and vampires) were hanging out in my room, hidden just out of sight. But my thing was, I believed they were harmless as long as they knew who was boss; me. So every night before bed I would give them all their instructions, drill Sargent style. "You! watch the windows! You! Stand by the door and keep all the murderers out!" etc. It's probably why I love horror so much as an adult. The monsters are my friiiends...8|
>> US No. 6160
That is freaking adorable! Reminds me a bit of Goodnight Demonslayer by Voltaire.
>> US No. 6162
Anybody else think kissing would getcha pregnant?
>> US No. 6164
That is patently adorable, and makes me want to be pals with you. Anyone with such an innate sense of fair play impresses me.

Personally, I wasn't initially sure that mannequins weren't actually people somehow. The mannequins in my father's store were fine, cos they were both full-body types with faces and hands and whatnot. The ones in the ladies' clothing store down the street, where my aunt worked, were just like dismembered torsos and limbs. Helloooo childhood nightmares.
>> CA No. 6165
I used to think, for whatever reason, that a woman got pregnant by lying naked in bed beside a man. No touching, no nothing. Just laying there. Instant baby.
I have a tendency to overcompensate for things, so I wouldn't even get into bed, fully-clothed, with my fully-clothed father after that. (Nothing obscene ever occurred between us. I just hung out with my parents in their bed on Saturday mornings and shit. Cartoons. Cereal. Whole shebang.)

But still. I was seven. Did not want a baby.
>> CA No. 6173
  I shit my pants about this when I was little, and had nightmares about it. I believed that walrus was real, and was out to get me. I CAN'T EVEN WATCH THIS NOW JESUS FUCK.
>> US No. 6175
I didn't know what a clitoris was until I looked it up online when I was in my late high school-early college years, so for the longest time, I thought that it was a tumor or a blister from masturbating too much. I also didn't know what an orgasm was until around that time. Because of that, I was afraid I was giving myself yeast infections, because the sexual education programs at my schools said that was the only time something would come out of the vagina besides during the menstrual cycle. They were abstinence only programs.
>> US No. 6176
I use to think something like that, too, only it didn't matter whether fully clothed or nude. I believed that if a man and a woman lay together in bed, the penis would somehow magically find the vagina, even with clothes on. I didn't know about erections, or that there had to be any action involved.
>> US No. 6178
I used to think Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan were the same guy. Somehow, in my brain, Jackson was just another name for Jordan.
>> US No. 6191
The stranger danger talks at school were really really vague to the reason an adult would want to steal children so at the age of 6 I tried to figure out what a stranger would do to me if I was kidnapped. I always pictured they would take you to their house and force you to cook and clean in a Cinderella like manner.

I was wary of strangers after the talk because I did not know how to cook.
>> CA No. 6197
I used to think my pillow was full of worms. But I would still sleep with my hands under there (it was an ugly brown thing, full of raw cotton), until I had a nightmare about them crawling out and BURROWING INTO MY HANDS. Even now, I need to hold the headboard/edge of the matress to get to sleep... hands far from the pillow.
>> US No. 6199
Same here. I used to think that he'd hide in the corner of my room and I'd sometimes see him whenever I closed my eyes. I was afraid of wolves for a while.

I used to think wasps were fairies because of their human-like bodies.

Also, the 1980 creature-feature Alligator made me believe that if I were to jump into a pool by myself, I'd get eaten by an alligator or a crocodile. Jaws made me fear the ocean and The Creature from the Black Lagoon and Piranha made me terrified of going into a lake.
>> US No. 6202

Is this what you may have seen a long time ago? Because this shit scarred me for life when I was a kid...
>> No. 6205

Oh my goodness, it is! Thanks for posting it! You don't know how long I have tried to look for this.
>> SE No. 6250

I believed that women got pregnant by sleeping in the same bed as a man. When they slept, eggs and semen would walk out of their genitals, meet up in between the man and the woman, and then together walk back into the woman. Yes, I imagined eggs and sperm to have feet and a sense of direction. I thought that it was really interesting, and wondered if anyone had tried to capture these strange little creatures who wandered across beds.

Good thing I learnt more when I was around 7, and actually understood that intercourse was involved. But then I just thought that the man would stick his penis in the womans vagina, and they'd lay still for a while. I actually had my first dream about sex in that age, with that happening between me and my childhood sweetheart. Actually felt pretty good.

On an unrelated note, I believed that there were several Santas for a while. Because how else would he find the time to visit all those children?
>> US No. 6271
File 130098394453.gif - (78.85KB , 600x423 , black and white photos.gif )
Changing the topic from sex beliefs, I genuinely believed that photos were black and white because the world was up until one year where everyone said, "Yeah, let's go ahead and make this world colorful" so they did. I asked my grandmother why the world used to be black and white, and that's when I learned that was just due to cameras.
>> US No. 6312
I used to believe that boys didn't have eyelashes and only girls have them.
Also, there was a spider that could replicate by biting your hand, and your hand turns into a spider.
>> US No. 6320
I use to believe that if any of my skin was touching my bedsheets, horrible little white bugs would burrow into my skin and make me itchy. I use to wrap my covers around me like a cocoon and sleep with two pillows, one so I could cuddle-hug/rest my head on and the other to protect my arms. I also use to think that the only way to kill the bugs was to pour hand sanitizer on the bugs while they were in your skin and if it burned badly then it meant they were dieing.
>> US No. 6325
I still don't understand why male cartoon characters don't have eyelashes when it's a trait both sexes share.
>> US No. 6339
When I was eight, I seemed to believe that there was an actual WORLD in my Pokemon game beyond what was being presented, and that I could access the rest by playing obsessively to find secret codes and some shit.

Earlier, at about five, I was convinced that the world was like the movie world. When my puppy went missing, I knew it absolutely needed to be me who found him since I loved him the most and that at the same time, I'd been having a lot of trouble riding a bike. It seemed like common sense, then, that in this time of need, I would suddenly figure it out in some dramatic scene of love and dedication to my best buddy. Despite my determination, I failed miserably. (We did find the dog later on that day, but don't get too relieved, because we sold it a year later.)
Even in the face of this catastrophic failure (both failing to save my dog and then later failing to use the power of love to save him from getting sold), I still tried the movie approach to teaching my bird to speak. I believed he was sentient, and if he could speak, he would carry on conversations with me and be like some secret encouragement (the movie Paulie may have had something to do with this). Worked as well as one could predict.

I was also worried about cops seeing me go into my house after school when no one was home, but that is because my mother had the genuine belief that child services would take me away if they knew I was going to be home without adult supervision. For about one school year, I dutifully followed a routine of making sure no one was on the street when I fished for my keys, and then being quiet with the lights off so no one would see someone was home. Then summer came and I wanted to chase butterflies outside, and I decided my mother was full of paranoid crap.

I also believed doing some retarded chanting song would attract more butterflies to my territory, that wearing a brand of shoes with a cheetah for a logo would make me run faster, and that there were secret passageways in my house that I just couldn't find because I wasn't looking hard enough.
>> US No. 6342
I used to believe that there were spiders in my god-damn chocolate pudding and chocolate milk. Basically, I didn't eat/drink the two for a long ass time.
>> US No. 6346
Yes...yes I did think that. As long as it wasn't on the lips, I thought it was okay.

I remember watching Dolly Dearest at my baby sitter's house with her older daughter. She locked us in the play pen after and kept saying, "Dolly Dearest is gonna getcha!" Needless to say, I've been scared out of my mind from any and all human like dolls.
>> US No. 6365
The first house I lived in as a kid had old pipes that made a horrible, high-pitched noise whenever you turned the hot water on in the bathtub. I used to believe this meant that the tub would explode at any minute, and for years I took cool or lukewarm baths and showers because of this.

In the early years of me learning about sex, I used to believe that girls could get pregnant at any age, even as little kids. While I would later find out that wasn't the case (except for a few extremely rare instances), my only evidence was a story that a friend of mine told me about a 7-year-old who'd gotten pregnant, and wanted to keep the baby. I quickly learned that wasn't the case when I got a book on girls' health and learned about menstruation for the first time.

Also, you know that gag in most cartoons where someone eats something spicy and then they breathe/get set on fire? Yeah, I used to think that would actually happen if you ate tamales. Then I finally tried tamales for the first time and realized they weren't that spicy.

And on one last note, there was a brief moment where I thought the words "plaza" and "polka" meant the same thing.
>> AU No. 6376
My mother used to tell me that when the ice cream van played music, it meant they were out of ice cream.

In hindsight it was probably for the best, the stuff they serve in vans tastes weird and is full of bacteria. I got the good stuff instead.
>> AU No. 6377
File 130141268666.jpg - (18.61KB , 442x487 , 1280715455033.jpg )
>vans tastes weird

this is the snippet that caught my eye as i scrolled past
>> US No. 6431
When I was little, I though babies grew in the mother's stomach and would eat the mushed up food the mom eats throughout the day. Then when it was time for the baby to be born, she would 'pee' it out. (Like the baby actually coming out of the mother's urethra.)

I also thought that there was a drowned soldier living underneath my bed and sometimes in my closet. He had grey skin and white eyes wearing a military uniform. (Think Vietnam) From what I remember, I never imagined him to be evil or anything...just really shifty.

Oh, and I also sincerely believed that on my eleventh birthday an owl will fly through my window and deliver a letter accepting me into Hogwarts. I was devastated when it didn't.
>> US No. 6476
File 130179372516.jpg - (22.79KB , 285x320 , orc.jpg )
I picked at the cuticle on one of my fingers and thought all the skin was going to fall off when it started bleeding, leaving me with a skeleton hand. I was both frightened and excited.

Also I thought if I didn't jump as far away from the edge of my bed as possible, some motherfucker would catch me and eat my toes. I need my toes.
>> US No. 6491
So growing up in Michigan, we got a decent amount of snow every year. Somehow I convinced myself that there were little abandoned kittens out there during winter, and I had to dig little holes in the snow. Just small little tunnels so they'd have a place to crawl into and maybe be a bit warmer than if they were just walking around in the wind and such. So whenever I went out to play, I had to dig at least a few small holes in the snow, imagining how happy the kittens must be to find it. I don't think I ever explained to anyone why I did that, and I still have no idea how I thought it up in the first place.
>> No. 6527
I used to believe that I was the reincarnation of some unknown ancient warrior. I challenged the manhood of my friends with stick fights.

I lost many friends because I beat them with branches.
>> US No. 6568
Oh, Lord, so many to pick from. Ummm, let's see...
My cousin's mom used to tell him that if he wasn't asleep by midnight, either a werewolf would come and eat him, or a witch would come and steal his dick. Also, if we spent too long pooping on the toilet, a creepy hand would reach up through the toilet and fondle us. Also, having spent a lot of time in Asia as a kid, I used to panic if I was alone in the swimming pool because there was a water ghost a la Japan in there. Also, my old elementary school in Taiwan used to be a hospital, and we all thought the sealed off rooms in the basement (very dimly lit, btw) still had dead bodies in them. Oh, yeah, and I used to think that every school's restrooms in Asia were haunted by creepy Ring ghosts that come out at night. Yeah...East Asia's got some freaky shit.
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