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File 13105761823.jpg - (272.40KB , 800x1166 , smileyFeelings.jpg )
8526 US No. 8526
The last one was huge, let's start a fresh one.

You know what to do.
Expand all images
>> US No. 8528
Scared shitless.
Had a very bad dream... I wouldn't call it a nightmare, because I have never had nightmares. Ever. And if I do, they usually don't phase me at all (and they usually only involve me dying in some way, not SO bad.)
But this dream, holy shit, I'm scared to move around my house in case that THING is actually alive and is going to eat me.

Captcha: Desu griati
Dammit my paranoia is not desu captcha
>> DE No. 8529
It´s not hot here. The weather is the whole day muggy and you see these big dark cloudes on the sky. Come one let it rain, so that it isn´t so sticky the whole night!
>> No. 8530
File 131059155083.jpg - (9.39KB , 200x196 , wtf man.jpg )
I have a problem connecting too closely to the characters potrayed in games. I absolutely hate being renegade Shepard in Mass Effect and I get ridiculously nervous being part of the Dark Brotherhood in Oblivion just because I get too connected with the idea of being a hero. I get emotionally attached to each individual in the game and take account of their feelings even though they don't have any in reality. Wat do.
>> US No. 8531
File 131059256968.gif - (22.19KB , 400x360 , fear-4.gif )
Scared, unsafe and unsure. That's all I can say on how I feel.
>> US No. 8533
>Go shopping at Koles
>Finally find a sundress that fits perfectly
>Discover that it's maternity wear

You know, I only ever really feel fat when I'm shopping. I don't think I'm all that huge. Hell, I think I'm curvy. I usually like my body. There's certainly bigger people out there. 180lbs isn't bad, right? And yet fashion designers feel the need to label me as XXL.

>> US No. 8534
File 131060656472.jpg - (54.03KB , 512x384 , idgaf.jpg )
Fuck fashion designers, make your own outfits.

Impossibly good mood right now, all costume drama wholly cleared up because I found a jacket I can work with. Not even my lack of HP premiere tickets can get me down right this moment.
>> US No. 8535
I'm surprised I haven't killed myself yet. The only thing that's kept me from doing so is fear of the punishment after death. But many people have much worse problems, why should I get to complain when those people are tough enough not to?
>> US No. 8536
lol I'm trying. I'm looking up sewing classes and such.

>> US No. 8537
File 131061776631.jpg - (46.42KB , 700x468 , 128270402137.jpg )
>But many people have much worse problems, why should I get to complain when those people are tough enough not to?

I'mma throw a metaphor of sorts at you.

A car mechanic has two cars he needs to fix. One car is a complete wreck and won't run at all. It's missing many essential parts and is very obviously broken. The second car's problems aren't as obvious. It has all of the parts it needs to run, though they are getting rusty and need fine tuned. The car runs nicely in perfect weather on a straight road with no traffic, but breaks down when the temperature drops/rises, the terrain gets tough, or the traffic builds up.

In comparison to the first car, the second car looks great. Does that mean the mechanic shouldn't bother fixing it and tell the owner to suck it up and be grateful that the car runs at all? Of course not.

I know how you feel, Anon. I didn't seek treatment for my depression for years due to that kind of thinking. I had clothes, food, pets, and a plethora of frivolous technological gadgets while children starve to death elsewhere, how could I possibly complain or feel the least bit sad?!

But that's not a healthy, rational, or hell, practical way of handling your problems or emotions. You may think your troubles are petty or small, but what really matters is how they impact your life and affect you emotionally.

If something or someone is making you feel miserable or affecting your life/behavior in a negative way (say, you are so nervous around strangers that you simply avoid leaving your house, even when you need groceries), that is a very real, valid problem, and you have every right to complain. If your depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, that's obviously a real problem as well, one that you definitely should complain about so it can be corrected!

When I first began therapy, I was embarrassed and constantly apologized to my therapist for making such a huge deal out of what should have been minor issues in my life. She told me to stop trying to compare myself to other people - everyone will react to situations and problems in their own unique way - and that if something causes a major reaction out of me, it is a real and serious problem and should be treated as such.

Hopefully this wall of text makes at least a little bit of sense. I hope you feel better.
>> US No. 8538
there's a nest of baby birds above my bedroom window.
today i had to bury the two that fell out onto the pavement.
they were so tiny, and so light, and they still had big fluffs of down. it didn't feel real.

i'd only seen the poor things once before today, and i can't seem to stop mourning them
>> US No. 8539
I love you and shall refer to this post next time I freak out.
>> US No. 8540
ahahaha so i got in a huge hours-long fight with my parents that started out as "mom dad i'm an adult and you need to respect my thoughts and opinions" and ended with me screaming, crying, and yelling "no mom and dad you are stifling me and ruining my life."

and now, my mom thinks i hate her, my dad thinks i'm an ungrateful bitch, and they hate my boyfriend who they previously liked. and to top it all off, they're sort of kicking me out of the house to prove that i can get my shit together without their help.

the /only/ bright side to this is that i have a flight to san francisco booked, so my boyfriend and my friends will be there to help me sort out all these weird "i'm trying to be an adult but fucking up terribly at it" feelings. but still. i managed to ruin everything in under 24 hours...
>> US No. 8544
Any advice on how to deal with unwanted romantic attention from an individual notorious for emotional abuse and suicidal tendencies, who also just so happens to be the sibling closest to your best bro?

Asdfjkl I am so afraid of him. How do I handle this situation without him hating me.
>> DE No. 8545
Okay bfore i start to suggest some things, first of all: Are you 100% sure that he has such feeling for you and you may misinterpret his friendlinees as a bit more? Maybe he just wants to be your friedn, because he hasn´t much. It can happen.

Well, there are several things you could do.
The direct and adult way:
You could use a moment just between you two and try to tell your opinion about him, that you may like him as friend or nice company, but can´t imaginate a relationship with him. But than please don´t use something like: One day you will find someone or such things. No one wants to hear this than. Like ever. After it you should try not to see him too much. Not like completly avoid him, but just not every second day.

Than you should check if your behavior had maybe send the wrong signal. Like that you flirting with him or so, if you in reality just joked about it. If yes, than i would give you the advice, to be more careful around him and not to stir his hopes again.

I have a skypefriend who complained, that much girls think he is flirting with them if he just jokes around and he does this ever with his other girlfriends. To which i reply, yes, but you know your friends for years and they surely know you don´t mean it like that. But how you think it looks for a girl you barely know a month if you speak with her like that?

He says this is nonsense and ignores what i say.
I don´t need to say that much IRL drama resulted through misunderstandings of his behavior.

But this is just my advice and i´m not so good in this things. So, meh.
>> US No. 8546
Thank you for writing that out, Anon... I wish I had something more grateful to say than just "thanks."
I do have social anxiety. I buy everything online now, I struggle with drive thrus, grocery stores etc; and it's why I didn't go to college and don't have a job. I don't think I'd do well with a therapist, but your therapist's advice is sound and I will remember it. Thank you.
>> US No. 8550
>make a new friend
>they talk to you a lot and you get along really well
>you become very attracted to this friend
>this friend is seeing someone, but there is also evidence they might be interested in you

I am confused.
>> US No. 8551
This happened to me. Turns out this guy was engaged. Dude, wat?
>> US No. 8554
Story of acquiring my current boyfriend. Don't rule it out, because said friend's relationship might be going terribly south and about to end anyway. That said, don't get your hopes up, just play it by ear. And don't let them cheat, whether or not they want to.
>> CA No. 8555
Why is the every time I find a girl I really like talking to, I fall fast and hard for her?
I just want a really good female friend that I can talk to about anything. Someone to share my feelings and thoughts with who will take them all nonjudgmentally and for me to do the same to her. Apparently that's too much to ask, since I now have a big cluster of feelings I can't ever tell her about.
It's not the worst thing to happen, but it's still frustrating. I just don't wanna fuck up our friendship, because even platonically she's a great gal and I she's one of my favourite people to talk to and spend time with...
>> US No. 8556
You could always be friends with me. I seem to have a lot of friends, but none of them ever have romantic feelings for me.
>> US No. 8558
File 131070962930.jpg - (28.88KB , 400x405 , effoff.jpg )
Gee Dad, why do you get pissed when hearing my honest opinion to something I find utterly boring and unrelated to me? It's not like this hasn't happened before, showing me something stupid and giving the weak-ass excuse that "it's educational". Stop trying to shove your interests in my face when you fucking know that I won't give a shit you needy moron. Plus, learn to lock the goddamn door yourself when leaving for work it's not like you don't have a free hand.
>> US No. 8560
I do the same thing. And I make a lot of jokes about relationships and innuendo with everyone I'm friends with, so I exist in a constant circle of no one involved being sure who else is or is not friendzoning who and it's fucking balls
>> CA No. 8561
I had, THE most intense dream last night.
It was sexual. It seemed to take hours.
The person seducing me was fictitious (which is honestly even better in some cases, really), but WOW.
When I woke up, my body had reacted physically. I mean. Has anyone else experienced that before?
And gosh, I was just getting to the good stuff. I'd like a repeat but I haven't tried lucid dreaming.

In other, more life-relevant news, I'm going to visit my closest friend in Minnesota on Monday. Monday! I have a bunch to do before then, and I'm doing it all by myself. Ohh, I'm so nervous I'm going to forget something that I won't be able to go back for or something that makes me miss my flight! I've never flown alone before.

Passport, tickets... am I missing anything else MAJOR?
>> US No. 8562
My checklist would be (and assemble all these things the night before the flight):
Secondary form of ID if you have one, just to be safe
Sufficient clothes/underwear/etc packed for the trip
A plan to get yourself toiletries after the flight because it's really just not worth trying to take toiletries on planes in the US anymore, at all (I usually just stop at a store and get travel-size ones at my destination rather than even bringing the travel-sized ones on the plane with me)
Any prescription medications you're on, with a copy of the prescription if possible
Make sure all knives/scissors/nail clippers/etc are removed from your pockets and your luggage
Wear shoes that are easy to put on and take off
Don't wear any big metal belt buckles if you're even inclined to do that in the first place, they can cause a hold-up in the security line if the person working the scanner is stupid
If you're bringing a laptop have it in a case you can easily remove it from; electronic devices have to go through the X-ray machine separately at lots of airports
Something to read or otherwise entertain yourself with while waiting at airports/on planes
A little cash in case you end up needing it for something (although I think all airlines take credit cards these days, I'm a big proponent of playing it safe so I don't have to worry about being suddenly stuck with a baggage fee, or being really hungry and having to buy a meal on a flight where it's not included, or something)

Plan to arrive at the airport an hour before your flight is scheduled to take off.

And have fun! I love flying. My favourite part is take-off - the way the engines get louder and higher-pitched as the plane goes faster feels like the plane is getting excited about leaving the ground.
>> CA No. 8563
Thanks so much, your list is really helpful. I probably would have forgotten about taking my nail-clippers out.
I think my favourite part is actually once you get stabilized in the air - I've had a couple of experiences with turbulence taking off so severe people were swearing and looking panicked. I kind of agreed with them. Your reason is really awesome, though, I'll keep that in mind.
>> CA No. 8564
OH MY GOD. So fucking mortified. I was roleplaying with an RP friend, and talking with my RL pure-as-snow friend on the other window.

I misclicked. Copy and pasted in the wrong window. Sent her this:
[quote]Spy whimpered when the Engineer gripped his head tightly. He turned his head back to the cock, and used his tongue on it as best he could. Over and over, that pink tip lapped at the head, and stroked along the shaft. Eventually, the Spy decided he had enough oxygen, and tried to take the Engineer in his mouth again. [/quote]

OH GODDDDD. I broke her brain. She said it was alright, and she still loved me and wouldn't tell my mom and all that jazz, but oh god, my face is still red as a beet.
>> DE No. 8566

If you could see me you would see me shocked. I know how it is to life somekind of "double live". Everyone in my family and by my IRL friends thinks i´m some kind of prude i believe, because i don´t like to talk about this stuff. (Okay seriously who wants to talk about gay sex with his mom or grandma? Or about sex in generell. No brain stop! Don´t let the picture come in! Bad brain! Bad brain!)
So i would somehow kind of be embarrased if they would ever find out.
It already felt awefull as some of my inet friends found out of one internet profil of mine and saw what i all saved up in the fav list. The shame.

Anyway it just occured to me that if i can´t find the TF2chan Steamgroup, maybe the Steamgroup can find me?

A link to my profil http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198011313267

(PS: If you can finish this rp will you post the endresult here? I believe for some on this site was that the most important message than that i linked my steamprofil here.)
>> US No. 8568
Once, I tried to print out some adult fanfic for *cough* "future reference", but my printer was out of ink. Well, apparently, my printer remembers past tasks and continues them when you put in new ink.

Long story short, my dad delivered the pages to me and I know how you feel.
>> GB No. 8570
Karnickel, there's a link to the Circlejerk steam chatroom in the bar on the left, all the way at the bottom. Come in some time, we don't bite. much.
>> US No. 8575
>Harry Potter
>Mind blown
>Spend an hour crying
>Farewell to my childhood

All's well that ends well, as it were.

God, am I glad they kept Molly Weasley's "Not my daugher, you bitch!" line in the movie.
>> CA No. 8576
I feel partially responsible for this and have to admit I fell off my chair laughing.
>> CA No. 8577
You ass.

I've no one but myself to blame, really. I need to double check who I'm talking to before I copy and paste graphic tf2 rape/sex roleplays.
>> US No. 8578
>vanish for a week
>nobody notices

Cool so this is what it's like being dead.
>> CA No. 8579
File 131079283017.gif - (416.93KB , 500x312 , tumblr_loetz6lvUs1ql02vao1_500.gif )
I feel the same. Midnight showing and 2 hour wait was totally worth it. Everyone was such a badass, especially Neville and McGonagall.

And man, what a way to end off 10 years of movies and 14 years of books.
>> US No. 8580
I've commented to the wrong people with the wrong things before, too. It's hard being in two chats at the same time. I sometimes do that when I'm tired or distracted by something else on my mind. Perhaps you were tired or distracted too?

Feelings: Yesterday I was checking my Deviant Art messages, and there was a reply to one of my old comments from when I was a crazy anime fangirl. I died a little inside. Why can't Deviant Art enable us to delete our own fucking comments? I want that part of me to be erased from existence and never have to bump into it again.
>> US No. 8581
I'm going on a trip for two weeks and I know no one will be waiting for me to get back.
I feel miserable about it but there's nothing I can do, I can't force people to like me or include me in their groups. I wish I wasn't this dependent. All that's kept me going is my spirituality, but even that seems to drive people away.
>> BR No. 8586
My older dog died on my hands.
>> DE No. 8589

But the sins of the past are never forgotten and will hauuunt you.


Wait i though you can delete your comments in da? Isn´t there a option.
man i need to write my stuff here for my jobhunt, but i so don´t want to.
But i can if i want, just waiting for a friend to come one maybe he can help.
>> US No. 8590
I think this movie was definitely the best. "I've always wanted to use that spell~" And as much as I didn't like the epilogue while reading the book, it was better in the movie. I could rant about this for hours, it was so good.
>> US No. 8594
Not interested in seeing the HP movie because I have 500 problems with the way the books end, and the movie didn't change the way it ends, so...

Pooh movie made me feel all warm and cuddly, though. And we were in a theatre of a ton of little kids, all well-behaved (and a few couples on dates). As an animation major and lifelong fan of Disney/Pooh (including the books), I may be biased, though.
>> US No. 8599
And now my Benadryl starts to kick in. 'Scuse me whilst I be loopy until it knocks me out.
>> CA No. 8600
Mom, dad, me, and best friend go out for dinner before we go see Cirque Du Soleil. Dessert comes. It's lava cake, with ice cream, whip cream, and a cherry. We're all sharing, and I get the cherry, because no one else likes them.
My friend makes a comment about someone she once saw tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue.
My mom says that sounds neat. I say I think I could do it. Mom and friend disagree. Dad's too busy eating cake to care.
Eat the cherry. Pop stem in my mouth, and after a little big of wiggling it around between my teeth and my tongue, and looking ridiculous, I pull it out, and voila. Cherry Stem knot.
We could not stop laughing.


Felt ridiculously good about myself the rest of the night.
>> US No. 8601
I have been trying to decide whether to go to Vegas with my parents or spend an extra two weeks on my ships this summer.

Then I found out that my parents are planning to go to see Phantom of the Opera in Vegas. In a theater modeled like the opera-house from the movie.

My decision has been made.
>> US No. 8604
>Mother tells me to be able to accept responsibility
>Next day, watching TV
>Asks me to rewind something
>Tell her to wait a sec, I'm watching this interesting commercial
> Rewind it, say nothing and walk upstairs, like always, because I don't fight with my mom
>Hour later, tries to get in my good graces again
>Unable to apologize OR ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, just smiles and makes shitty jokes

I fucking hate her so much sometimes. Don't take out you're frustration with my shitbag sister on me. I haven't done anything but try to please you, you fat bitch.
>> US No. 8605
File 131093169118.jpg - (36.83KB , 156x133 , heavy14.jpg )
>That moment where you realize your feelings are reciprocated.
>> DE No. 8607

If I could hug you guys right now, you would get the biggest hugs known to man.
>> US No. 8608
Since I'm the only one in the family who can't get a job during the summer, I'm the one who has to watch my grandma during the day because she has dementia and can't take care of herself and as much as I love her and understand her condition, my patience is seriously being tested with being asked the same questions every day and dealing with her passive-aggressive moments, and I can't just up and leave the house because she can't be alone, I don't have a car, my bike is in storage near my college which is in a completely different part of the country, my sister's bike needs new tires, and it's about 100 degrees outside so walking is out of the question, and there's not many places to go to within walking distance anyway, and I'm running out of things to do at home, I've got artist's block so I can't work on any drawings or animations to pass the time, I can't play any online games until after my grandma goes to bed because I have to be on alert during the day, I've played too much of my other games, and not even last Thursday's outing to the Harry Potter premiere makes me feel better because it just makes me want to leave the house again even more and AGGHH I just want it to be mid-August so I can go back to school, get my bike back, go back to work on campus, go anywhere and do anything I want in my spare time, have more shit to do, and possibly meet recruiters so I can get a summer internship so this doesn't happen again next summer.

tl;dr — I'm getting cabin fever from taking care of my grandma, and I'm probably a spoiled brat for complaining about it.
>> CA No. 8609
Okay, so my cousin's husband's father has been dealing with cancer for years. He's in a huge amount of pain, and it's a miracle (really, a curse) that he's survived this long. They really don't think he's going to live for much longer (like, dead within days, they mean), and he's in the hospital. My mom just got a call from her sister (my cousin's mother), who's keeping us up-to-date with everything. Apparently he's been vomiting an obscene amount the past couple days, and now his bowel is perforated, and (warning, very gross) he's vomiting feces. .

Just. God. There is no God. This is like the worst fucking awful thing someone can go through. This is why I'm an agnostic. If God were really merciful and loving, he wouldn't put anyone through this kind of thing when they were a good person their whole life. It's just not fair.

Everybody's honestly praying he goes soon, because he's in so much pain. Poor guy can't even walk anymore. This is no life for someone to live.

I'm saddened by this. I really am.
>> US No. 8611
No you can't. The most you can do is hide them, but you can't do anything with comments you made on other people's stuff or pages. Shit sucks :(
>> US No. 8612
I can't tell if my upset stomach is from the pizza or the looming anxiety of the fact that I may very well be off to the military within the coming months. It's not exactly what I thought I'd be doing with my life but I'm kinda back against a wall here since no one wants to pay me to draw. The benefits seem too good to pass up, housing, education, health insurance, travel... all if I can just give my life to Uncle Sam without question. Right now I'm doing a lot of questioning. I want to be sure I'm okay with this trade off While all my military family members have survived and led alright lives afterward, it doesn't really put me at ease much...
>> PL No. 8619
FFS. I'm a very patient and tolerant person, but damn me, I can't stand living here. It could be worse, I know that, but even if we have a good financial and health (in general) situation, we only need one small thing to piss everyone off to the point of shouting sometimes (my father for example won't change some of his irritating habits, and that pisses me and mom off and mom takes it out on me sometimes with unrequired shouting). And I acknowledge my issues, but I don't have this problem with anyone else (friends and acquaintees), just my folks. And I can't do anything about it, even if I have options - my sister is living in my possible future apartment for now and the other one where she was living previously is currently rented for at least one more year.

I'm anxious as it is, I don't need that crap.
>> US No. 8621
File 13109900895.jpg - (70.57KB , 500x375 , tumblr_lo9fysPnGY1qjnw0co1_500.jpg )
>All three dogs sleeping by my feet
>Munching on snacks my brother bought me
>MST3K on the TV
>Playing Worms with my bros
>Listening to them argue in-call about gravity being OP
>Laughing every five seconds

This is where I belong, guys.
Sounds cheesy as fuck I know, but I've never felt like, so part of something. This is the part of the puzzle where I fit in and where I'm needed. I know it sounds ridiculous. Hell, I feel pretty dumb for having had the biggest grin on my face when this dawned on me, but still. It felt awesome.
>image related - it's been my face all night.
>> AU No. 8622
File 131099253723.jpg - (102.92KB , 400x300 , VikingShip.jpg )

>> US No. 8623
I'm so sorry to hear this. No one should have to go through that.
If it makes you feel any better, a merciful, loving God wouldn't want us to suffer. He'd want us to be with him instead of being on this planet where everyone suffers and dies.
I could elaborate but I doubt anyone wants to hear that. So I'll keep you and him in my thoughts.
>> DE No. 8626
So what happened at the morning by me? Well, my mom wanted to visit us so this was my morning
> Standing up
> I am so not a morning person
> Make myself ready to drive to the train for work
> Need to hurry because, someone wants to go with me until the backery
> Tear one of my favourite clothes in the hurry. Well.
> Than i should search for the brochure i made. Need to hurry again, found it quickly thank god.
> Standing by my side looking at me the whole time while i´m dressing myself. The occassional sighs of annoyance are my background tune
> I am Zen.
> Break the zipper of my new backpack. Which makes him garbage. Nice two thing in this morning broken. Need to put all my things in my other one.
> I am still Zen
> Okay i am ready... "Do you have your purse?"
Well. Go through backpack again just to be sure. "You should know that you put it in there!"
> Losing patience becoming loud. I am not Zen anymore.
> I went to far. I should jsut have shut up and swallow it.
> running after telling i am sorry
> feel bad the whole day. Don´t eat my lunch, because i am not hungry
> Coming back home
> Everything i expected what will happen if my mom visits happened

I wasn´t there but what i heard than makes me a bit more than angry. I´m a selffish person, because the only real reason why i don´t want to get a apartment with my brother is: I don´t want to live with him. Just this. Mom, please i love you, but don´t you see you are staring to offend the person who love you with your behaviour? I am your daughter and please don´t make me to stand up for once and to say straight in your face all things we think but don´t tell you. Because i´m just your daughter. I know you wouldn´t take me seriously and would be rather hurt than helped than.

And you make me already the damn messenger between two fronts.
>> GB No. 8628
I can't tell her I'm slowly starting to fall for her. I want to, but I'm simply not that guy. I hate that guy. She has someone, even if it is kinda apparent that it is wrong for them. Im a emotional wreck right now, even if I don't show it, and I don't want to put any of that strain on anyone else. But shes one of the few women I know that I can trust right now, because despite shit repeating itself time and time again, she some how makes me want to take that chance.

But Im not that guy.
>> US No. 8631
My parents are very controlling and don't allow me to go out often, and the constant belittlement them and my siblings give me over minute things makes me not want to attempt talking to people offline. When I do, my parents give me every excuse not to be able to see them. Every time they want to see me, I/my parents conveniently have to go somewhere, or my mother calls them a stalker for calling more than once. I almost was in a relationship, and that's part of why it ended. We could never see each other. I have tried many times pointing out what I'd like to see fixed, and I get yelled at and threatened for bringing it up.

My online friends are all I have. And I've been treating them really shitty as of late, being paranoid and clingy. I love them so much, they're all I have in the world, but that's just it: They're all I have, ever, and the slightest lack of self-confidence brings me down, I know they're sick of hearing about that. I don't want pity anymore, I just need advice on how to fix it.
>> No. 8632
File 131106185271.png - (70.39KB , 360x320 , og.png )
>Realize that I only care about people if they are 'useful' or if I like them.
My face.
>> US No. 8637
>nine days to go
>costume to finish
>massive wig to style

I don't like cutting it close, but right about now is when my adrenaline starts to kick in.

Otakon: Come at me, bro!
>> US No. 8640

Hydra will be flying in in about an hour! And then the most awesome Comic-Con weekend will begin!
>> CA No. 8643
Thanks. Sadly, he passed away early this morning. His wife was with him, and their minister, and he didn't suffer too much. He just sort of...stopped breathing, I guess.

His suffering's over now, and that's a blessing. The cancer can't hurt him anymore.
>> US No. 8650
Been a really busy week, with more to come. I'm both excited and kind of frazzled.

Saturday was my last day with my girlfriend before she goes home to Canada. She came down to the beach for a couple of hours, and then I took her back to where she's staying in LA. Yeah... "Carmageddon"? There was no one on the road. A trip that would usually take me an hour and a half took me 45 minutes. It was awesome.

So I met her family (who are all incredibly sweet), we got sushi and shared a caramel apple, watched The Hangover, and said our tearful goodbyes. It was sad, but I feel really good about it. We'll see each other every few months, and we've got a good understanding of each other. And if I want to think far ahead, we'll end up going to school in the same area in a year or so.

Sunday was my friend's birthday party, which was eh. I'm not crazy about the majority of the people that were there, not to mention she cannot feed people to save her life. There were four people at the party that couldn't eat wheat, and she served chips containing wheat and pasta for dinner, so about half of the party went hungry. I know it's difficult to feed wheat intolerant people but it's kinda shitty to eat in front of hungry people that you invited over and were unable to provide any kind of refreshments for despite having promised them.

Monday was ALL of the shopping for my party, which was intense, but it was good to get it all done! Lots of food for lots of awesome people. Did all of the prep today, and people are coming over early tomorrow to help me set up. All of my excite.

Thursday is cheap sushi with some of my bros. My dad is giving me money for because he knows I'm strapped for cash and that I really want to go. He's even putting gas in the car for me. I do have to drop off a job application, though.

Friday I send off my girl's birthday package. Sending her a quilt I made, a letter, a drawing, a few things that she left in my car, and a big posterboard signed and drawn on by all of her friends here in California. Hopefully it gets there in time!

Saturday is a barbecue with other bros, and then hopefully I'll have some time off for a while. Dis been a crazy ass week.
>> No. 8651
File 131114019022.png - (191.63KB , 389x362 , oh god yes.png )
So finally, months after I turn eighteen, do my parents decide that I can learn to drive (actually driving wasn't the issue, the cost of insurance and stuff was with the crappy job my dad used to have).

Now that the in-class portion is done, I went out on my first drive. It was the most horrifying thing I'd ever done, especially since I never even touched a steering wheel. At the same time, I'm proud of myself for picking up on all of the basics quickly enough that I was allowed to go from a parking lot into a residential neighborhood.

Guys. Guys. I stopped at a stoplight perfectly. I might cry, I am so happy!
>> AU No. 8652
Well done man! I'm going on 19 (my birthday is next week actually) and I'm still on my learner license. I still get bad nerves when I get into that driver's seat, although by the time the car pulls away from the driveway, I'm happily enthusiastic.
Which reminds me... I need more lessons.
>> No. 8654
File 131114995252.jpg - (147.83KB , 500x375 , absolute fury.jpg )
Our storage locker was robbed again and we lost half our stuff, but that's not the worst part.

We can't find the tree. This is the Christmas tree my Dad has had ever since HE'D BEEN BORN. OVER 50 YEARS AGO. The one he kept and taken care of despite the many moves during his childhood. Something that has incredible emotional and sentimental value to him. I'm hoping, even fucking PRAYING that we find this damn tree in the chaos, since the robbers broke into other units and stuff got mixed up. Because no matter how much I may not like my Dad, if those thieving cumstains have taken taken that tree I will rain upon them a god-like fury that has not been seen since the Old Testament and whatever death they pray for it will not come to ease their pain.
>> GB No. 8656
What the hell kind of asshole steals a fucking Christmas tree.

Hope you find it. And/or them. :T
>> US No. 8659
File 131115214856.jpg - (16.46KB , 281x323 , grinch.jpg )
>> US No. 8661
I know it's not for another two months, but my younger sister is moving to South Dakota and it's just barely hitting me. She's my best friend and we'll have practically the whole fucking country between us. I don't want her to go, but I know she has her own life and I don't want to say anything to make her feel bad. I feel like complete shit.
>> US No. 8668
File 131116890253.jpg - (8.79KB , 300x300 , 1310803726601.jpg )
check them post flags
>> CA No. 8670
My parents bother me. I'm 22, but I still live at home, because it's impossible to find a job is this fucking city unless you're going back to school in the fall. In order to go back to school, I need to get a job to earn money to go back to school.
But I digress.
Last night, I was roleplaying till 4 AM. The phone rang around then, from the alarm company, telling my dad the alarm had been triggered at the building he owns in the industrial park (turned out to just be an animal). And then my parents realized I wasn't in bed yet, so NAG NAG NAG.

I am a fucking adult. I can drink, drive (though not both at the same time, obviously), buy porn, and YES! STAY UP TILL FOUR IN THE MORNING IF I WISH.
I have no job. Why would I need to get up before noon anyway?
>> US No. 8675
I feel like a failure.

What the fuck else is new.
>> US No. 8676
>that feel when I might be genderqueer

>> CA No. 8679
It's kind of creepy how in sync we are mang. I got yelled at for being up so late as well.
>> CA No. 8681
It really is. I can't count the number of times my mom's called downstairs to say dinner's ready, and you'll type 'BRB Dinner' like, ten seconds after. And then taking a day off from RP because we were both travelling on the same fucking day.

I'm scared. Hold me.
>> DE No. 8685
In the last two days i went again through a emotional down and panic about my future. I didn´t let it on the surface. So as i stood up to drive to work, which i don´t like and slowly feel that i´m becoming bonkers there, i wasn´t so happy. Still as i finally came home and needed to have again these talks about what i want to do with my life a throughout feeling of everything will become better wasn´t there.
As suddendly in the middle of my dinner...
"Huh, seems like someone is painting his room completly naked."

I don´t know if this a comfort of a higher up for the problems which might come on to me or if this is a sign, that everything will be good.
>> AU No. 8686
File 131118439092.png - (263.32KB , 768x439 , tumblr_l5b1qd0YTv1qzh5gno1_1280.png )
That awkward moment when you share a spark with a certain person, and you like them and you're pretty sure they like you back, then after a while of silence you don't know if that liking-ness still stands and you're afraid to ask because you don't want everything to suddenly get even more awkward than it is right now.
>> CA No. 8687

As for feelin's atm, I'm really really hoping it doesn't get as hot as it's supposed to. Thursday's supposed to get up to 50 C with the humidity. That's around 120 F, btw. Luckily my house has two air conditioners, even though it's barely large enough to warrant one. With both of them on and the curtains drawn, I live in a meat freezer. It's awesome.
I feel pretty sorry for any other people living in central Ontario who have to bear this without AC, though. You are more manly than I.
>> US No. 8692
File 131122325553.jpg - (5.37KB , 126x131 , 129102738614.jpg )
I just found out that because the college her boyfriend is going to starts next month, they're leaving then. My heart is breaking.
>> US No. 8694
My pug... her eyes. They... got infected, and... and... she's gonna have to be blind for a little while. I'm so worried, I love that little lardass. Well, she's not so fat anymore, she's no longer my little Heavy Weapons Pug, because she hasn't had anything to eat in a few days...
Did I mention I'm basiclly I'm my own in taking care of her? My mother's taking care of the meds but that's only like once a day, and my brother is just... playing on the computer. So I'll have to walk her everywhere and I mean everywhere, her eyes will be sewn shut.
But I'll do it. Because I love my pug. <3
I hope she's gonna be okay... the vet said they will most likely be able to save her sight...
>> US No. 8698
A little annoyed and tired, but relieved and proud of self. Randomly woke up, decided to check the Chan, and, WHOA, ANIMAL PORN EVERYWHERE. Reported what I could find, then just sat feeling like I'm NOT useless for once. Hellz yeah.
>> CA No. 8700
I suffer from some pretty irritating phobias (dogs, sharp objects, and new social situations), and anytime I have to do something that involves facing one of them, and I end up not being able to do it, because I'm too scared, my mom tells me to 'get over it'.

If it were that fucking easy to conquer, mom, they wouldn't be phobias.
UUUUUGH. I wish she'd just TRY to understand, ya know? I'd be happy to mow the lawn, but there's a pitbull standing in our ditch. It's not gonna happen.
>> US No. 8702
I was wondering why the chan was all locked up when I logged on yesterday.

My phone stopped working in April.
>two nights ago, lying in bed
>"ugh, need to call Virgin Mobile tomorrow morning, so I have a phone before Otakon"
>for shits and giggles, pull out broken phone and charger, plug it in
>"phone charging" screen
At this point, I'm thinking "You've got to be shitting me" and go to sleep.
>wake up
>phone fully charged and operational, just needs minutes

wtf. I'm glad I have my phone back, but seriously?
>> DE No. 8704
> Watching TV News
> It rains pretty hard all over germany
> Show as example the city (which is small) where my mom and a friend of me lives
> Already one death case

I am shocked and worried.
And yeah i heard there in the USA is a strong heatwave going on.

And now i just got the Mail in which i requested for help regarding my letter of application. It was disappointing, because there was just some google links in there.

And i will never get a job for what i learned the last three years, and i feel like a failure and WHY THE FUCK DOES NO ONE IN MY FAMILY SAY I WILL FIND SOMETHING? Where are the encouragig words i heard the last years, if i REALLY need them? Why is all of the sudden everyone gloomy here if i talk about my search for work?

It angers me and disappoint me. Normaly my family was 100% behind me and now it´s like i lost everything.

Yeah i know, i should grow up. But World you could be nicer.
>> CA No. 8706
Why is it so fucking hot today? It's past 40C with humidity and even in my house I feel like I'm going to die. I was even asked to sub for a friend's Ultilamte team this evening, but I don't think I can drag myself out it this god awful weather without passing out. This is what I get for not hydrating enough.
>> US No. 8719
I think I'm an alcoholic.
>> GB No. 8721
So I got a copy of Twilight from a charity store, a highlighter out of my cupboard and I'm going through correcting all the mistakes and trying to count the amount of hyphens she uses.

This is the most boring drivel I've ever read.
>> US No. 8722
File 131133988491.gif - (396.65KB , 500x360 , 130083125851.gif )
>That bittersweet moment when you realize all of your friends have a special somebody in their lives.

I'm ecstatic for them and everything, but it still kind of sucks.
They're off being happy with each other and here I am in the far right corner letting my own jealousy sour my mood.

Is it a stupid thing to be upset over? Yes.
Am I stupid for letting this get to me? Yes.
Aren't there at least 10 more important things I should be concerned about? Yes.

But like that stops me from whining about it.
>> PL No. 8723
I have to go to the hospital for a minor surgery this Wednesday. I really don't know what to expect, since I'll have to stay for three days after that, and the only experience I've got from the public hospital is from '94 and it's not something to look forward to.
I just want to fix as much as I can when it comes to health this summer, but why it has to be accompanied with so much anxiety?
>> US No. 8725
File 131136046683.jpg - (21.38KB , 576x450 , throwdesk.jpg )
Just when I think everything is in order for Otakon, a friend messages me asking if we have room in our hotel. I say sure, the more the merrier.

She then messages me back saying she'll have a $150 check for the table. EXCUSE ME, WHAT FUCKING TABLE, I DON'T HAVE AN EXTRA ART TABLE FOR YOU BITCH

oh my god can I go to one goddamn convention without this kind of asshattery happening, I fucking hate people
>> DE No. 8726

Because it´s still surgery. Such things are never easy or funny. Anxiety is normal, but don´t let yourself stress to much about it.
Just try to trust the personal there.
Still i wish you good luck for it and that afterwards you are fast back in the track.
>> GB No. 8727
I think I just fell out with a friend, but she doesn't quite realise it yet. I dunno, I just realised that she just never seems to want to talk any more, and its always me askin how she is and how her day has been, and it kinda pisses me off that she never asks me anything or starts a conversation, only seems to use me to fill her games and what not.
>> CA No. 8730
Best friend and I are getting super distant and I don't fucking like it. Like ever since she's left for college we've been drifting apart and I don't know how to fix it. :T Like I try to talk to her and pay attention to her more and more but she's got her own friends at school and I mean they spend hours and hours together. How can I compete with that? They comfort her when she's sad and get to be in her life day by day. I talk to her for an hour a day if I'm lucky and see her every three months while the school year is active. I know things will be better this year because I don't have school so I have the time to visit her, but what if she likes hanging out with her friends from school better than hanging out with me? They centainly are more in the loop with her life like I wish I could be... and I just don't want to lose her. I barely remember a time when she wasn't my best friend and it hurts to think about a time when we no longer might be.
Sometimes I wonder why I ever bother making friends and getting attached to people in the first place.
>> DE No. 8732
File 131137364856.jpg - (24.29KB , 379x361 , SadHeavy.jpg )
Good: Having so much fun with visitors, doing nice stuff together.
Bad: Not having time for online friends.

>> NO No. 8735
  Well, today sure was a fun day.

I live in Oslo and I've been texting people all day, hearing if they've been alright. Some of them even were close enough to hear or even feel the explosion.

For those of you who don't know.
>> US No. 8739
I know how you feel, one of my roomies just messaged me today and says "Do we still have room for my two cousins?" No, we don't. Ten person cap. We have ten people in the facebook group. Plus a baby, crib cuts down on sleeping space.

I hope you and your loved ones are OK, anon. Stuff's gonna be crazy for you for a while, so good luck with it. Been there, done that, Flight 93 went down in my area.
>> US No. 8747
Can't go to Otakon. Gotta go to SIGGRAPH to hang out with my Valve buddy. This is going to destroy my wallet, but it'll be totally worth it.
>> AU No. 8748
File 131143490074.png - (124.40KB , 323x359 , wait2.png )
It's my biiiiirthdaaaaay
>> CA No. 8750
The wheel in my mouse keep sticking, and it drives me NUTS. AHHHHHH.
>> No. 8751
>> No. 8752
And then I was too excited about birfdays that I forgot to report on my feelin's.
I'm at work and it's sweltering and I'm running up and down the stairs and I had a mad headache and I feel like i'm going to keel over because I went to a party last night and only got three hours of sleep and my best friend's mad at me because I can't go see Captain Amurrica tonight with her and my mom's mad at me because I took off without her permission last night to the aforementioned party and I don't get a break today because my boss is a cunt and my boyfriend won't stop pestering me for sex and one of my rp buddies is gone for a week or more and I'm gonna miss her annnnd I hate my life.
>> CA No. 8754
This Oslo thing is so depressing.
>> US No. 8760
I saw Captain America last night, and there's something in the film that was just...horrible timing with the Oslo disaster. I cringed.
>> GB No. 8763
A lot of weight on me right now. Ok, I lied, its on a lot of other people, but I keep offering a shoulder to help take some of that weight of them and now Im caught juggling a lot of things at once, as well as my own lil problems. I keep swaying between can't be bothered doing anything except listen and on the brink.
>> US No. 8768
I nearly forgot it's gonna be my birthday next week. Weird, but oh well. Yay for turning 23.
>> US No. 8772
>Otakon is in four days
>Scoutpapa's head is too large for wig by itself
>have to add hairline in front, so hope that'll cover a little more
>bringing comb-in color to match and spirit glue just in case
>still have to make bootcovers for stripper heels

If I kill the next person who interrupts me while I'm working on this stuff, can I plead temporary insanity?
>> US No. 8776
I am confused. I have been talking to my ex-girlfriend and she seems open to the idea of getting back together, but my emotions aren't exactly stable. I never stopped liking her, but I don't even know what I am trying to say. I am no good with relationships.
>> US No. 8778
Depends on why you broke up, but if your emotions aren't stable, it's not a good idea regardless.
>> DE No. 8779
All of my thoughts and hugs for you, man.
>> No. 8781
I can't get my cosplays to look right, and I don't want to work on my comic anymore even though it's 8 chapters in. I'm so bored with my life; I was going to ask out someone but I don't want to be in a relationship just for selfish reasons. He'd probably turn me down anyway.
Also, my heart goes out to the victims of the Oslo bombing. It made me so ill hearing about it, and reminded me that people will always be killing each other for one thing or another. ):
>> US No. 8782
I am still floating in purgatory. Communication is extremely limited. Using my Wii system to post this.

Just too many bad things happening all at once. Feeling pretty shitty.
>> US No. 8783
File 131156568125.gif - (491.16KB , 250x191 , tumblr_lfx2jbqyRb1qgnopgo1_250.gif )
man i have NEVER wanted to bone a celebrity as bad as i want to bone gerard way
like usually the celebs i think are hot
i just think they're hot, y'know
like yeah, i appreciate this person aesthetically
i just want to BONE HIM SO BAD

i have a PROBLEM.
>> US No. 8784
oh my fucking god the thumbnail
I am dying laughing now
>> US No. 8787
I think I can describe my thoughts a bit better now. My main issues seem to be a conflict between wanting a relationship and not wanting to change from being alone, as that is basically how I have always been, it is all I know. I am also worried that we won't have any common interests and at least one of us will find the other boring. I know that we already have some differences what with her having lived a sheltered and controlled life while I have been pretty much left alone to do almost whatever I want. And neither one of us are socially well adapted. I felt the same way when I broke up with her. I was afraid, I guess of a change in my life. I have never been certain about anything I have ever done, including both getting with her and breaking up with her, but I always liked her. And that's another thing, I have never been able to tell anyone that I love them, not even family members. My friends and family think there is something wrong with me because as far as all but a few of them know, I have never felt affection for anyone (which isn't true, I have always supressed such many emotions, which is probably at least partially responsible for how I feel now).
>> US No. 8788
I should probably tell her this shouldn't I.
>> US No. 8792
Wanna hide wanna hide.

I feel so fat. Why?! I went to the gym this morning, I shouldn't feel this way!
>> US No. 8795
>make bootcovers for 7" stripper heels so I can feel kinda tall for once
>not cooperating
>covers magically fit my 4" calf boots

I can stand being 5'4" instead of 5'7". I'll probably be less likely to fall over this way, too. And I can put gel insoles in them. So that's ok. And then on to the next project.

>add widow's peak to Scoutpapa's Vegeta wig
>burn myself a lot with hot glue gun
>still not finished with that

Fuck it, I'll have another go at it after dinner.
>> US No. 8802
File 131165342186.gif - (174.41KB , 372x270 , 129818940694.gif )
>Classic 90s Nick shows on TV
>Smiles like an idiot and watches
>> DE No. 8805

See this tiny little pic
Dear god is it?...
Gonna need to save this fast now.
The day is a bit better now.

(Just for your information he himself and the others of the band said: They accomplished everything by fans, if straight guys want to bone them. Or guys in genereel want to bone them so bad. I love their weird sense of humor sometimes.)
>> US No. 8806
File 131171483250.gif - (448.58KB , 250x141 , sadfig.gif )
Just too much on my plate to handle right now. Too many mixed emotions.

I leave for boot camp in 5 weeks.
Excited and scared.

I started BCP this month!
Makes me sick every day. Was told it'd last 1-2 months. Doesn't like feeling sick all the time.

My Uncle has 2-8 weeks to live (dying of cancer), his wife is now legally blind, and their youngest daughter is 2-3 years younger than me (16, I think...not sure) has been basically forced to grow up and do everything around the house while watching her parents wither away. I feel bad because I want to be there for her, but I'm not good at "being there" for anyone. I feel awkward and unsure.

My father is having his neck fused this fall-winter while I'm at boot camp and I'm worried something bad is going to happen.

I receive unwanted attention/affection from a friend. He is in debt but was buying me stuff even when I said no. He keeps saying he wants to be my boyfriend, and it kind of throws me off. I've never really dated. Got really close to someone, but that's about it. I think he's nice but I'm "too focused" (can't think of better word/words) on a man who's 39, married, and lives 4k miles away from me.

I feel like a whore for liking this man. I first met him 2 years ago and immediately had a crush on him. A month or so later I find out he's married and don't know how to take it. I find out he's about to go through a divorce. Wife finds out about his obsessive talking with me and confronts him. They make amends and he tosses me to the side. I AM BAD PERSON. Even now, he still expects me to talk to him. I've told him how I felt about everything and he acts all surprised like he didn't even know I liked him in the first place. What the fuck, man?

I just needed to get this crap off my chest. Just hope I didn't do something wrong.
>> US No. 8807
File 131172614964.gif - (466.42KB , 300x236 , tumblr_lfwk3sY3Qq1qgnopgo1_400.gif )
[Gerard Way fetish anon here] Haha that makes me feel better

And I have a ton more gifs from that video too. Here's another one

>> US No. 8808
Tvtropes lists Boba Fett as a FagHag.
I thought this was entertaining.
>> CA No. 8809
File 131173704467.jpg - (136.09KB , 960x1280 , Photo0336.jpg )
I bought my friend's grandmother a bottle of rum and so she bought me this top! I feel so good wearing it, and lookit! I'm boobalicious!
Funny how flattering clothes can make you feel so much better about yourself.
>> US No. 8810

>> US No. 8814
File 131176620860.png - (170.72KB , 898x898 , 130236473930.png )
Every time I think I have myself figured out, I get thrown a curve-ball that makes me rethink what exactly I want in a relationship.
I can't see myself with anybody because it feels like I'm never the same person throughout the week. No matter what I do, it feels like I'm lying to myself and to everyone around me.
I'm so frustrated with myself. I thought I was done with this shit.

I just want to crumple up my sexual identity and throw it away somewhere.
>> US No. 8815
Woke up to both my parents berating me giving me advice. I feel like a retard and a failure all the time and I don't know what I do that's right anymore.

Today's going just swimmingly.
>> US No. 8819
Well it turns out she is with someone else. Why is it that everytime I like someone they are already in a relationship.
>> US No. 8820
Otakon tomorrow. Packing tonight. All of my excite, guys. The hilight of my year starts tomorrow, 'scuse me whilst I start to bounce off the walls~
>> No. 8822
I just realized I might end up living like Sniper, a weird loner in a mobile home in the middle of nowhere. I don't know how to feel about this.
Video game characters can never replace real people. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.
>> US No. 8823
Thank goodness I'm not the only one. I think it would be pretty fun, it would be like camping, except year-round. It might get a bit lonely, but thats the good thing about mobile homes, you can go visit people you care about if you miss them.
>> US No. 8828
No, body. I do not want to wake up with epic nausea and my goddamn period at 4am the morning I leave for Otakon. This is an epic weekend, you're not allowed to throw me curveballs.

On the plus side of things, it's day zero of the best weekend ever. In twelve hours, I'll be in Charm City with my crew. In twenty four, I'll be snuggled up in bed with Scoutpapa (and likely praying my roomie's baby sleeps the night through). In thirty two hours, I'm gonna be beating up on some nazis at the Hellsing shoot.

It begins. Fuck yeah.
>> US No. 8831
File 131185100195.jpg - (8.97KB , 264x191 , SleepyKitty.jpg )
Exhausted. Had four appointments in as many days-- one vet's appointment for my cat, one follow up with the GP, one visit to the OB/gyn, and then one visit to the imaging center for a freaking ultrasound because apparently I am impossible to examine.

Now I have to worry about last-minute housework, luggage-packing, and airline travel, so... Yeah. If I did not have the wonderful world of TF2 to escape into, I'd be either going insane and tearing my hair out now, or I'd just be passed out with the stress exhaustion.
>> DE No. 8834
The guy i who was my first love and i pretty much hadn´t any contact like a half year or more anymore... he will move to my state.

I cried over the fact, that i love him, but he doesn´t love me back. That we could never see each other in reallife, because he lived on the other side of the country. Okay once, which broke my heart a bit, he traveled through my state and he wasn´t even 15 minutes away from me to this point of time. But he didn´t wrote me and i was so disappointed than to hear later he was SO close.
And once he teased me he would make holidays in the town where my mother lives, and i believed him and asked him if this is true and i was all happy and... he lied and thought it pretty funny.

That he now will maybe move here, brings up a lot of emotions. And i thought i killed all these feelings!

I have no freaking words.

Oh yeah and RL is crashing itno my little world again.
>> US No. 8838
File 131188992881.jpg - (15.06KB , 300x215 , Ididit.jpg )
Blood panel results back, cat in perfect health!

It's funny, I never for a second worried about getting my own results back from the doctor, but I have been in such anticipation of the phone call from the vet.

Still exhausted and all, battling the ever-present foe of clinical depression as it comes and goes, but very happy that my cat is healthy.

Best wishes/prayers for everyone on the thread going through rough stuff.
>> DE No. 8841
I seriously need to do more sport. My blood pressure is messing up again in the weirdest ways and I'm putting on some weight. Nothing worrisome, but I know me - I need to stop it before it gets bad or I won't get my lazy bum up at all. Me and my supervisor will look at some sports clubs next week, hopefully. I don't feel good not moving at least some of my muscles, so I'm really looking forward to this.

>> US No. 8843
My antisocial tendencies make it difficult for me to make connections with anyone. I have a hard enough time talking to people that I'm close to, let alone make new friends and keep them. On top of that, I'm a moody little bitch with depressive tendencies. How the hell am I supposed to find a life partner if I can't even stand myself? I don't even know why I bother trying anymore yet I cling onto any bit of hope just to assure myself that I won't die alone.

The sooner I come to terms with the fact that I'm dying alone the better.

Captcha: isties smile
Laugh it up, catcha.
>> DE No. 8851
Sleeping problems.

I thought I was over this for at least a fucking week.
>> No. 8854
So, my day has been all good and dandy until just the last few hours.
My little beagle has been really lethargic and her stomach is just very upset, so we're worried that she's eaten something bad outside. Because I'm so worried, I wasn't playing L4D2 as well as I could and I got kicked for "being a moron".

I don't even care about the L4D2 thing as much as I care about my dog. I've had her for seven years and she's just the sweetest dog I've ever met. I don't want her to be in pain and I certainly don't want her to pass away when I'm not ready to let go.

I always think of the worst, so I'm kinda freaking out right now. This hasn't happened to my family and I so we don't know what to think. She's going to the vet if she doesn't get any better.
>> US No. 8856
File 131191876977.jpg - (30.01KB , 240x180 , Sad - RML - Mr Bighead.jpg )
I'm missing Otakon cause I don't have enough money for both it and SIGGRAPH. I thought I'd be okay with this, and I am excited for SIGGRAPH, but dammit, it better be worth it.
>> No. 8860
I know how you feel. The people I'm close to think I don't care about them or I'm rude, because I don't talk much. But what helps me make connections with people is putting myself in a situation where there are lots of people around me. This could be something long like a college/summer class, or something short like a co-op game with a stranger. I know a few people who have met their partners over online games, and you could also try dating sites if you're into that kind of thing. I think making friends and finding potential partners is easier online. Good luck.
>> US No. 8864
What the fuck is wrong with our culture that we think an appropriate way to react to a loved one passing away is to hang out in a room with their FUCKING CORPSE. They're dead, there is no need to VISIT THE DEAD BODY, this entire concept is WEIRD AND CREEPY. I'd much rather remember her as she was when she was alive than AS A FUCKING PAINTED-UP CORPSE IN A BOX for Christ's sake
>> DE No. 8866
Don´t do that to me babe. Don´t do that. The first time i have time to visit this convention and than everything goes wrong. God WHY? I wanted to go there since... EVER! But i had never time. And now as i have it, i can´t? This is so not fair. Someone above me laughs right now.
>> US No. 8868

When my childhood friend died I didn't go to the wake. It wouldn't have changed anything or made me feel better. In Judaism we don't do any of that shit, anyways.
>> US No. 8870
My family's pretty Irish (well, Irish-American, which is as we know its own thing) so when we do wakes we do it differently. Like, at somebody's house, with booze, and it's like a family reunion more than anything else. Have a drink, catch up with people you haven't seen for a while, talk about the dead person, and THERE IS NO DEAD BODY IN THE ROOM.

This was like "visitation" or a "viewing" or something? It says visitation in the obit but my mom says the word is supposed to be viewing. And it's not for my own family, it's for these crazy Texans, so it's not the same thing. Well, I guess in practice it kind of was, as far as the reunion thing goes, but idk, DEAD BODY IN THE ROOM seems weird to me. I just don't get it.

It used to be you had a wake with a corpse there and you were staying awake to watch the corpse to a) make sure they were actually dead and b) make sure nobody stole it. That's not necessary anymore and I'd be more comfortable with the social aspect of it being filled by a wake at a house instead of at the funeral home chilling with a corpse. It just bugs me.

And tomorrow I get to go to my very first funeral ever! I'm sure it will be boring plus I'll be incredibly uncomfortable because people will have Emotions in Public.

And I forgot to take my shirt to the dry cleaner's so I'll have to just iron it at home the best I can. Oh well. I will most likely be one of two people wearing a suit in a crowd of polo shirts and "nice jeans" anyway.
>> CA No. 8871
I feel incredibly relieved, for two reasons.

I had my audition for Rocky Horror go rather well. I'm curious as to why everyone else sang and danced twice, and only asked me to do each once, though. Either I really really sucked, and they didn't want to see any more, or maybe I was really really good, and they didn't need to see anymore-congratulations-you're-the-starhavefunwithit...
Kinda hoping it's more of a lean to the latter.

Car battery died right outside the audition place. And I really, really, REALLY had to go pee. Had to wait 45 minutes until the tow truck came to give us a jump, and dashed into Tim Hortons to pee. And bought a cookie, because I'd feel like an ass if I just peed in their establishment without buying anything.
>> AU No. 8875
First ever counselling appointment in less than two weeks. Cannot help but feel that I am going to be silently judged over some of the things I have to say.
>> US No. 8876
File 131201161370.jpg - (2.96KB , 128x96 , whoputyouontheplanet.jpg )
Am in the process of psyching myself up for airline travel... which is really stressful for me, but it's faster than the train, which means not having to use a bathroom that is too narrow to accommodate my fat ass/crushing claustrophobia.

But on the plus side, bought fairly cheap noise-canceling headphones, since I can't wear earbuds on-plane.

But I have way too many hypersensitivity issues, man...

Also, my side hurts... did I hurt myself doing housework? Crap.
>> PL No. 8878
So I'm back from the 2 day long stay at the hospital. It was a bit awkward, since I had to stay with two 80+ ladies, but it wasn't that bad. The hospital is very modern, staff is there to help and to talk to, they weren't all 'fuck off' like some of them are.
So yeah, got back home with a set of badass stitches, and I just need to rest now, and take care of that for 10 days. All in all I'm glad that another health issue is out of the way, so that's good.
>> US No. 8884
You know that moment when you finally get over someone, realizing what a jerk they were all along and wonder why you even thought they were partner material in the first place? It feels great.
>> US No. 8885
We just got someone to rent my grandmother's house, since she's living with us now, and my parents have been over there moving out all the extra stuff while I've been staying at home taking care of her.

Easier said than done. Nothing quite makes me feel like crap like hearing my grandmother, who I've been taking care of for the past two summers, get upset to the point of tears over how she should be helping move her stuff and saying good-bye to her old house, and accusing her children of being ungrateful and ready to throw out everything without her permission. Never mind that she only lived in that house for only five years (the house she did raise her children in is still in the family, as my uncle currently owns it), and the only memories she could possibly have of it would involve my late grandfather being on the brink of death. Never mind that she's actually been supportive of us selling the house, considering the economy right now, and the fact that she can't even take care of herself, much less her finances. Never mind that the majority of the stuff has been moved into our garage, where we have easy access to it. Nope, she thinks we're all ungrateful shits who don't give a damn about her.

If dementia is hereditary, then I'm seriously worried for any future children or grandchildren I might have.
>> US No. 8893
File 131209608880.jpg - (8.12KB , 218x231 , wrongweek.jpg )
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue forget to take my Prozac...

Meh, 'sokay, only skipped one night, still in my system, but yeah. Pre-travel stress and not-regulating-my-seratonin-and-brain-crap are not friends. Or are friends, but the kind of friends who wreck your house, if by house you mean brain...

Okay, I lost myself. I am glad this thread is here so I can vent gas stress to prevent explosion.

Also, even though I threw out the expired coffee creamer before anyone could ingest it and get violently ill, something last night gave me sharp abdominal pains. Psychosomatic? It better be, since I just got a clean bill o' health...
>> US No. 8895
I hate trying to be legitimately nice and getting told it actually makes me look like an asshole. Calling people honey or sweetie apparently means I'm condescending, not saying anything bad when I legitimately have nothing bad to say makes me an ass-kisser, being super apologetic means I don't mean it, and not trying to force people to talk about their social lives when they don't want to makes me self-centered.

I hate the idea of pissing anyone off or making them think I have any motivation except to make them happy and keep myself guilt-free. This shit is keeping me up at night and wrecking my eating habits.
>> US No. 8896
File 131211110964.jpg - (55.21KB , 500x667 , 130358764639.jpg )
I am still being a passive aggressive wuss over my Dad's new girlfriend and the fact the she is currently Existing. I don't want to eat her food and i don't want to go out with her. I don't even want her damn lemons to have her heavy-powder smell hanging around the house. But I shut my trap and let them do what they want for the most part. Just the passive aggressive tone whenever I have to speak to her. I love this house and it upsets me to see my home being changed to look like her old home when she was the one to sell her home after a month of dating him to move in.

Sm I just being a dick here or what? I don't know anymore.
>> CA No. 8898
Playing TF2 last night, and let it slip that my friend, who was also playing with us, roleplays TF2. Smut, no less (though to my knowledge, she's only done this like, one and a half times). Now, she hasn't posted to our RP in well over 2 weeks, so I've pretty much considered it dead, and frankly, I almost don't wanna RP with her ever again after the way this made me feel. It hurt me that she was online every day, and she couldn't take five minutes to give me even one little post, after I've spent countless hours after midnight roleplaying with her because all of a sudden she'd wanted to. Could've slept, but I didn't, because I wanted this fucking RP to progress.
So when I let that fact that she RP's slip, she steamed me and told me to retract it. Now, first off, me suddenly proclaiming like ten minutes later "Hey guys, I was just joking, she dun RP at all" would make it obvious that she had told me to do it. Second, I don't see why you do something if you're completely ashamed of it.
If you like doing something, then fuck other people's opinions. Hell, my mom made sure I learned that back in kindergarten. Without the 'fuck', of course, but still.
>> US No. 8899

Half my family does the "viewing" the other half just does a picture of the person. I really don't like being in the same room as a corpse that has been flushed of blood and now looks plastic...actually...I don't like being in the same room as a corpse. Period.

Same boot camp anon here. I'm spending a few days at my father's home, well this is the last day of it. Thought it'd make me feel better. They have stray cats around their home (in the city but 2 acre yard). Dad asks me where the pellets to my rifle were. I allowed him to borrow it when he went hunting to shoot squirrels. I asked why he wanted to use it and he mentions shooting the stray cats. Now he KNOWS my favourite animal is cats. I get upset and tell him that's NOT what I let him borrow the rifle for.

Around dinner time he decides he wants to go to the beaches and eat seafood. We also take his company vehicle. Doesn't tell me he's gonna get hammered out of his mind with his trophy wife, otherwise I'd have brought my license. I get to see a fucking dead cat in the parking lot across the street from their home 3 times because they forget something and have to drive back. I really don't like seeing dead cats. It depresses the fuck out of me. To sum up the dinner, I got harassed the entire time about what items I needed for boot camp and my father's usual drunken self on top of feeling depressed about the cat. Then, because I wasn't told they were gonna get piss drunk, I had to ride in the back seat while my stepmother drove. Usually I'm the designated driver, but his wife kept saying, "At least I work for the company so I can drive this car. She can't! if we get into an accident we're in trouble." Yeah. Because being piss drunk from wine and 3 vodka shots then driving won't get you into trouble.
>> US No. 8904
Four inch heels on Friday all day. Feet blistered to hell. Walking back to hotel room with boyfriend, I collapse, I can't take the pain in my feet anymore. I had to call a bro to carry me back to my room, because if I tried to make my boyfriend do it, he'd throw out his scoliosis-riddled back.

Luckily, I was fine by Saturday morning, threw some insoles in the shoes and went back to the con. The rest of it was phenomenal.

Otakon well spent. Scoutpapa and I are tired. I'm gonna grab some dinner and go te fuck to sleep.
>> US No. 8905
I'm at the beach, now. I decided to take my chances with my sister and just ignore her and enjoy myself. It's ridiculous to decide to miss out on something awesome just because of a person you hate. I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow, and the ocean's nice and warm. The weather could be better, but I'm hoping it'll clear up by tomorrow. I wanna go swimming, dammit! My sister only annoyed me a couple of times, but my parents actually made her stop. As long as they continue to stop her every time she annoys me, I might actually enjoy myself.

Right now, I'm surfing the internet until I feel tired enough to go to sleep. Going to sleep when it's dark out isn't easy for me, since I've become so use to going to bed in the early morning. Just gotta wait until my anti-anxiety meds kick in.

Typing in the dark is hard. I can't even see my keyboard lol
>> US No. 8906
I hoped I'd gotten over it fully by now, but it still makes my heart race to post in cosplay :(

At least I don't feel nauseous or panicky so much when I see their names and faces.
>> US No. 8907
File 131217855323.jpg - (4.47KB , 201x251 , pinup hair.jpg )
Who got a cute haircut? Cat Detective got a cute haircut! (Why do I refer to myself by the not-my-real-name part of my name? That's weird, I'm weird...)

Mostly it's a practical haircut, because I wilt and die in the summer, and we're visiting relatives with a baby, and I don't want long, grabbable hair getting yanked on by sticky, tiny hands. The Super Cuts guy who chopped my hair off had a tattoo of scissors and a comb, I thought that was kind of cool.

Normally I wait until it's long enough to sit on before I get rid of it all, so it was a little sad to lose it at just past my shoulders...

Still freaking out about packing/airline stuff, but freaking out less. Travel toothpaste finally turned up, one less thing to stress out over. Neoprene laptop sleeve still missing, but I can live with that. It's a solid laptop, I can put it in my purse and just be careful with it and it should be fine.

Thanks for being here for my daily need to vent something/overshare, chan.
>> CA No. 8908
Less than month till my best friend and my boyfriend go off to their respective college and university.

I now have the sads.

Also welcome to another year in which you're not pursuing post-secondary education yet, stubs. Hope you enjoy working in a dusty dirty sweltering factory every day.

There are worse things happening in my life atm buuut I don't feel like reporting on them. I need to analyze what I'm feeling and come up with a way to explain it first.
>> CA No. 8912
I have tech/dress rehearsal today, and then we perform tomorrow. So fucking excited, but at the same time, I don't have that real, heart-pounding excitement about performing that I had when I was younger. I don't know if it's because I went for like, 2 years without getting to act, but it still feels...different, and I don't know how to feel about that.

Also, my acting partner makes me worried for my future in this endeavour. See, he is rather old (around 60's), and I'm only twenty-two. He had SUCH a hard time learning his lines, and I was practically offbook from the start. He claims he used to be this way when he was younger.
I don't wanna lose mah brain!
>> US No. 8915
Don't worry about not continuing your education just yet. One of my teachers (who was voted teacher of the region) says that untill you are in your late 20s - early 30s, you don't really need a higher education because no one will be expecting much out of you anyway. But you still should not put it off too long.
>> PL No. 8917
File 131222559041.gif - (486.64KB , 500x341 , I told you about the stairs bro.gif )
I love taking antibiotics.

On the other note, after the rain that took place yesterday (it poured to the point of flooding the streets), there are so many mosquitoes, and since we live on the ground floor, there's a lot of them, since they're getting comfy in our garden.
Oh my god, I hate them. There are plenty of other people around, go away. :F
>> CA No. 8920
Why did the theatre company have to call me up TODAY to tell me I didn't get a part in Rocky Horror? You asses. You know I have tech/dress today. Went through whole rehearsal not really giving a shit. I acted like I gave a shit, but inside, I just wanted to go home and cry.

>> US No. 8926
>watch Arakawa Under the Bridge ep 1-13.
>laugh ass off
>watch Stein's Gate ep 1-17
>brain is put through a fourth-dimensional sideways mindfuck.
I need to lie down.
>> CA No. 8929
Performing tonight. Freaking out. Woke up with no voice too, so hopefully that'll be rectified by this evening.
>> DE No. 8930
Because i could give you all now some. I´m full of love until the brim of my big fat body.

And i´m scared.

Because today is one of the best days ever.
I could go home a bit earlier, because i had nothing to do and i´m sure that i still had some extra hours (which i dont get paid).
But instant of going home i went to my BFF to give him finaly his birthday present. So as i sat in the train and read a book, my phone rang and it was my brother. He told me he like HIS birthday present very much and he was so excited and overjoyed by it. And than he told me, that what my grandpa wished for came true.
As i arrived at my friends home i gave him my gift and he was happy about it, too. (And i believe he didn´t act. Wanted to add a photo here, but i can´t it seems.)

But this wasn´t the thing which made this day one of the best. I send some applications out and got already the answers. One said, they couldn´t take me, because i send it in too late. The other said i have a interview!

I have a interview and it makes me so happy, even if i´m 90% i will not get the job, but hey i know how real life can be sometimes.

Which is the reason i´m scared now, because i think Karma may come and kick me in the guts.

And i just talked to my aunt which has her birthday today and wished her all good things and said thanks for helping me.

Guys, it gives hope and if some of you went through a down now believe me if i say it feels so good if something great happens to you.

I wish something great will happen to you.
>> No. 8931
File 131232288358.jpg - (4.87KB , 259x194 , shameanddisgrace.jpg )
So, I don't fly particularly well at the best of times, which is not so much from a fear of flying as it is from a paralyzing fear of... everything?

Thing I don't normally advertise on unrelated fora because everyone and his dog on the Internet uses it as an excuse to be an ass: I'm Autistic, highly-functioning. Of course, unlike the self-diagnosed Asperger's people who act like jerks online, I went to a series of experts and work my ass off to be socially aware and acceptable. But airports/planes are very difficult, and when I get stressed out, I lose language.

We arrived late (the airport told us we needed to get there an hour ahead, then there was traffic, then the guy who boarded us said 'you really need to arrive two hours ahead, but come October it'll be three 'cause they're doing construction and you need to take a tram'), which meant there were no two seats together. I have never flown alone. So I'm sandwiched between a couple of strangers (one of them, I'll call her Helpful Woman, was actually quite helpful, but Unhelpful Woman was a bit annoying and her elbow kept crossing over the armrest, so I had my arms wrapped around myself trying to be as small as possible and she kept poking me...), I can hardly speak when the flight attendant comes by so she thinks I'm being difficult on purpose or something when the truth is I'm having trouble getting my bag stowed and I'm freaking out because I'm trapped in a tube full of strangers and I'm rapidly losing my grasp of English. Helpful Woman helped me with my bag.

Then I spent the rest of the flight catatonic. A different flight attendant had spoken with my mother, and checked on me for her, and reported that I slept through the flight, which is... I guess close to true, except that instead of feeling rested, I felt incredibly stressed.

Then we landed and got our luggage and found out that the people picking us up both thought our flight arrived several hours later, so they rushed out to get us and we sat around the airport. I still couldn't talk, and they put me in a wheelchair, which made things easier because it's difficult to move through the airport when every little thing makes me seize up. Of course, when you're in a wheelchair, people treat you like an invalid, and it's kind of hard to tell them not to, because, wheelchair. Also, still couldn't talk.

Anyway, I've had some actual sleep since then, so I feel better now, but I needed to vent...
>> US No. 8932
File 131232296157.jpg - (59.23KB , 352x282 , happygundam.jpg )
>Scoutpapa promises me a Gundam Rose gunpla kit for our anniversary
>brother promises an Endless Waltz edition Epyon kit

All of my excite, guise. I get kits of my two favorite gundams almost back to back.
>> CA No. 8938
I start my new job tomorrow and I'm terrifed that I'll hate it.
>> CA No. 8939
I am sweaty, and exhausted, and just had people laughing at me for half an hour.

God I love acting. Seriously. Best non-paying job in the world. It really is.
>> CA No. 8940
I also hate flying. Don't deal with the same kind of problems as you, but mine are still pretty unpleasant. I get violently ill whenever I fly, because my vestibular system (inner ear. Registers your position in space) is either supersensitive, or out of whack, or something.

First time I ever flew, I threw up twice, and overdosed on Gravol. We also missed our flight, so I got to spend four lovely hours lying unconscious in a wheelchair while my parents walked around and tried to look normal.

I hate flying. I really really do. Thank god my doctor prescribed me Ativan for the next time I go.
>> No. 8943
Oh man. Yes. Thank God for Ativan, indeed. When I was having terrible panic attacks, I wound up being sent to a cardiologist, who finally told me it wasn't my heart and prescribed Ativan.

Also, yay, acting! Congrats on being laughed at, continue to break legs!(theatre class was where I learned how to be a person)
>> US No. 8945
  I reckon I'm in love with the sweetest, teddy bear of a man. And He's also a gentleman with a top hat. c:

I'm pretty sure one of my male friends will act like this when he finds out I have a boyfriend.
It'll be hilarious and terrible at the same time.
>> DE No. 8948
  <- related. So today was the last day of my internship. Tomorrow i go to the employment agency. And on friday i have my interview. I now try to prepare my folder for the interview. feels good man to have something which you can consider good in it.
>> GB No. 8951


>> DE No. 8953
File 131242000850.jpg - (24.98KB , 396x643 , Kill me Spy.jpg )
School starts again next Monday and I still have leftover work, I neglected Chi lately, my supervisor doesn't have time this week and I'm having trouble with my mom.

And here I thought I'd have more time for internet and friends anytime soon.
I'm so sorry, everyone - I wish I could be there more for you all. I feel so guilty for being gone so much and not talking to everyone more like you all deserve. Real life fucks me over and it hurts.
>> US No. 8954
File 131242524388.gif - (492.05KB , 265x190 , tumblr_lh5yqwBRZn1qa5ygb.gif )
My dad just finished calling my brother and I "worthless pieces of shit". Fuck you, dad. You raised us this way. You never made us feel any sense of urgency during any of the family's economic struggles, you never pushed us to get any jobs until a few weeks ago, never pushed us into pursuing or finding any interests and you most certainly never asked us questions about our personal lives or interests.

I'm more enraged than hurt but still. Fuck you.

Pic unrelated, it just makes me feel better.
>> US No. 8955
My anger has gone down and although I'm still pissed, I'm also feeling empty and sad.

I gotta keep moving forward.
>> CA No. 8956
Second show tonight. Nothing but old people. Why do little old ladies go to the theatre if they're not going to laugh and make me feel good about my comedic prowess?
Hopefully the friday crowd will be younger and easier to laugh.
>> US No. 8957
I made a forum post on a site expressing what I really think about a certain topic, and I got a lot of crap for it. Usually I can tolerate it but I took this topic very personally and I'm exhausted constantly defending my viewpoint. I don't know a single person I can talk to about it since it's an unpopular opinion.
That and I want to move out of my town so badly. My family and the suburbs are slowly killing my spirit. But I don't have a job or money. My parents both joke I'm going to live in their house forever, but I think they're disappointed in me.
>> US No. 8958
I have to get a car within 18 days or I won't be able to get to the one class I have that isn't online. I need to get out of this house and do something. I am left here on my own pretty much every day. I feel like the isolation is making me a bit crazy. I only have consistant communication with two friends, neither of which I can do anything offline with. I don't like being alone.
>> No. 8959
File 131244639130.jpg - (4.60KB , 168x198 , OhYou.jpg )
Doing much better. Today we took my baby cousin to the mall where they have a little play area, so now I have pictures of him being cute. He's too young to be into Legos (he's actually a little young to be interested in Duplos...) so the Lego store was mostly for the benefit of my brother, who hung out with me and talked TF2 during play area time.

Now it's going on 1:30 AM and I'm not so much with the sleep... gah. Still, was good day. (Also, last night, went to Harry Potter! Tomorrow will do a readthrough of a modern adaptation of King Lear, then probably go to Goodwill or something...)
>> US No. 8962
Nothing like a good con to get your creative juices flowing again. Now I'm on a huge kick of everything creative I've ever done, and I like where this is going.

Here's hoping I can go to Zenkaikon, so I'll have another con to look forward to.
>> DE No. 8963
I´m sorry to hear this, because i would really like to talk to you more often, but it think everytime: Perry is busy, i shouldn´t bother her and waste her precious time.

Make a video of your performance send me the link, please. You picked my interest there. (And i need things again to laugh about.)

It gives nothing better to strength your self esteem like employment agency. Now i know why my friend is so damn depressed everytime he gets back from it. The advicer there told me through the flower, that i wasted just my time with my education. And he talked a bit down on me, because he seemed to think i´m a bit stupid. Just because i asked him to explain me WHAT he understand under the points on this damn fromular. We had concrete names for the things we made and not this all wide view things there. Anyway as he saw my certification he was all: Ow, wow these are great grades. So why did you learn that? Because (how i just notices the last days through my internalship) i thought it suits me more than a other job.

My feelings after that ranged from HOW DARE HE? to He is probably right to Maybe i should make a Abitur how he suggested... but what than? I was happy, that my grandma was there to help me and just said that, what we said the last days: Everything is gonna be okay, we went through worser times.

Now i catched myself and looked at the joboffer he handed me where i need to apply ... i already found this place through my research and thought: Hell, yes.

It´s funny, because he said i should go a new way and shouldn´t build up on my education, because there aren´t many offers on the market for it. SO WHY DOES HE HAD A OFFER TO HAND IN NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES?

PS: My cousin just called (she is 2 years old)
and wanted to talk to my grandma. She said she is cuddling with her mom. Somehow this build me up.
>> DE No. 8964
Yeah, I'm so sorry. I'd love to chat more with you and all the other people I value, but right now, life just decides to be ass. I really hope this stops soon.

I miss you all!
>> CA No. 8966
>>8963 If my video uploader decides to behave for a while, I will.

My feelings now.

I have been using a 3 dollar neck massager that I bought at Marden's, as a vibrator. Whatever, it suits my needs just fine. At least, until I kinda broke it somehow. I would click the button, and it would not stay down, so I had to constantly hold the button, and then I couldn't angle it right.
Today, somehow, I fixed it. Don't know how, but button now stays down. Thrilled to bits, will be in my bunk. Toodle-oo!
>> CA No. 8967
File 131248712149.jpg - (47.91KB , 400x382 , tumblr_l2w7ojCNRz1qc4suoo1_400.jpg )
Quit with the drama WHY WHY WHY!

You can only be pissed off for so long before it becomes a ridiculous display of poor temper. Letting off steam is fine, but it gets to this point where I'm just sick to here with seeing it and it starts to piss ME off, and I don't even have anything to do with it.
>> AU No. 8968
That awkward moment when you realise you've started to hate a few of your close friends.

They haven't hurt me directly, they're just...I don't know, disrespectful. In the sense that they think something's wrong with me because I'm uncomfortable when a bunch of them start practically having an orgy in front of me at a get-together.

Especially when it's in MY FUCKING HOUSE and the one rule was NO SEX IN MY HOUSE TONIGHT MY PARENTS ARE HOME GODDAMN GUYS. I just don't understand this mentality of not waiting for one of the other 364 days of the year and fucking in private. The one time I called them out on their shit and went to bed, I could hear them in the next room discussing what psychological issues I must have to be so pissed off. I don't know, a sense of discretion maybe?

end rant. That feels better.
>> US No. 8970
File 131255056278.gif - (874.07KB , 320x192 , sb69fa.gif )
Hey guys it's so awesome and cool that my parents decided to plan a 6000 mile trip to see me the weekend of Dragon*Con, it's so nice that they can't be arsed to make a five minute phone call before booking plane tickets to see if I was free that weekend, that's so cool of them

Parents can eat a dick. I'm not cancelling plans I've had for a year because they're fucking lazy.
>> US No. 8971
File 131255357968.jpg - (74.84KB , 360x288 , sadfaec.jpg )
My friend's dating a guy who's nice one minute, a complete asshole the next. And he's her first boyfriend, and I know how hard it is to accept that your first is a dick. But I feel like no matter how much pain he puts her through, and no matter how much I try to convince her to leave him, she'll stay by his side. I worry that it's going to take something terrible to get her to leave him, and I want her to get out before that happens. I can't see her hurt any more than this.
>> CA No. 8973
File 131257369899.gif - (803.27KB , 250x188 , 130530468559.gif )
The one time, the one time my temp agency comes through with a data entry job, and it's the week our family has set up our last vacation before summer ends and I move away. And the assignment isn't long enough to justify cancelling plans. Fuuuuuaargh.
>> CA No. 8977
Survived work to my first weekend. Woo.

On a related note, I miss my best friend so much. We haven't spoken since Tuesday, not even a damn email or on facebook or anything. I know like three days isn't even that much but for her and I it totally is. Like it's very unusual for us not to talk, at least online, for a day, much less three.

Whine whine whine. Apologies for my bitchery, but I'm such a hormonal teenage girl.
>> US No. 8978
I'm not sure which is worse: my crushing self-doubt preventing me from even attempting to apply for jobs in San Francisco, or the fact that deep down, I know I'm not qualified for any real film-making jobs because I was too unreliable, stubborn, and introverted in film school to actually produce and make anything quality and therefore I have no reel to show people what I can actually do.

brb i think i'm gonna cry over the fact that i will work retail forever.
>> US No. 8982
File 13126092171.jpg - (34.04KB , 500x375 , nrmOWOKFknylmxzaZzZ5B1voo1_r1_500.jpg )
One the cities I go to for my regular is shopping is charging for paper bags unless you bring your own shopping bags. Looks like yet another reason why California sucks.
>> US No. 8983
Well, I didn't sell as much as desired at the tiny Kin-Yoobi con, but at least I've broken even on the first day. Thank you people who bought three cores and my POTaDOS.
>> No. 8988
File 131266206888.jpg - (155.55KB , 640x480 , professer genki.jpg )
i just want to buy some bloody video games and pluishes.
but my job shift is ultra shitty and completely overlaps the shops opening hour.

every time i do grocery shopping i dash though the supermarket while yelling out of my way.
because if i don't shorten the time i would be late for work.

i need someone to buy the grocery for me srsly.
>> CA No. 8989
I'm hoboing it up in Vancouver with Buuk. American Airlines fucked our friend, so we had to stay in a hostel last night. I hope our plan to sleep on her floor at UBC conference housing doesn't get fucked up because I really don't want to have to pay out the ass for a hotel. SIGGRAPH, y u so expensive.

Just apply. The worst that happens is you get no response or rejected. I feel the same way about my skills, but I'm going to keep applying to game companies until they like it. Persistence definitely counts for something.
>> DE No. 8993
First practical test in three weeks and I'm far from ready for it, my mom told me JUST today that my grandparents are visiting and definitely want me to be there for eating out on Thursday and my internet provider is screwing up randomly which I can't call until Monday.


The guilt of not being there for my friends is growing bigger each day. I lie in bed and have trouble calming myself down to sleep. Why am I so fucking PATHETIC
>> GB No. 9001
Calm down Perry. We miss you like all hell but we understand how busy you are right now. Take yer time, get back to us when ya can.
>> CA No. 9003
Yeah man, it's fine and well that you want to be able to be a great friend, but you need to sort your own stuff out first. If they're friends worth having, they'll still be there once you get sorted out.
>> No. 9008
File 131269069113.jpg - (10.28KB , 259x194 , fist bump kitten.jpg )
I could just hug everybody!

Today was tiring, it was my one day at the writer's convention, but all the workshops I was in were really great.

It's kind of hard to eat at these things if you have dietary restrictions, and I was kind of worried about my sister, since she's deathly allergic to olives, and there was a big bowl of them out on the buffet and one floating in the ranch dressing because someone dropped it, and so for a minute I was like 'Oh no, she eats ranch dressing! What if she doesn't see an olive that fell in and she stops breathing during lunch?!', but she'd already gone through quickly and was fine. (A combination of being the oldest child and having siblings with major health issues/allergies makes me prone to crazy worry/feelings of responsibility).

Anyway, she had an excellent time at the convention, and so did I, even if it is exhausting. It makes me feel really energized and excited about my original writing.
>> US No. 9011
I feel damn happy that someone bought my Bang Shishigami plush for $60.
>> DE No. 9014
I feel bad somehow, because i have the impression that for the sake of my current happiness i abandon a friend of mine. Or piss him of by this (blah, blah, talking about this theme while shooting Zombies)

Which i don´t intend, but the last time we talked he seemed to get upset about it.
So we started to talk about a other topic. Food.
He was hungry so we shouldn´t talk about this, too.

Generell i have the impression, that on my way i leave some friends behind, because i don´t talk so much like i used to them. But they all (irl friends) know how to reach me in rl, so i should probably not be so sad about this. Still it hurts to see how we all slowly drift apart.
It´s a bit depressing if your phone never rings.

I will try to reach him today again, if he isn´t busy and see if we can meet each other again to shoot zombies. (Because there are aparently much in germany.)
>> US No. 9016
File 131273029462.jpg - (98.99KB , 500x372 , astheworldfallsdown.jpg )
Scoutpapa's coming over today. Time to watch some Labyrinth and bake some cookies!
>> CA No. 9020
So the other week I met some guy on transit who is into old games, we talked a bit and exchanged emails. For a few days we talked and got to know each other a little, then about 3-4 days ago he asked me if I wanted to go hang out with him and get some coffee and check out a hobby shop. I said yes cause well, I enjoyed talking to him online and it was nice to get out and do stuff with a bud! That day went well and he asked me if I could hang out the next day (today) so I agreed since I had so much fun yesterday.
This time we went to the park and I got the vibe that he liked me.. The looks he gave, trying to be close; small obvious things. I kinda had a feeling from last time, but didn't want to jump to conclusions..ya know, just in case I was reading the wrong message, but the thing was, I am semi dating someone..its a little complicated right now and what makes this worse is we are dating online, I don't want to date behind their back, that just isn't right. So when I got home today I told him as lightly as possible my situation, he said it was fine but I know that is a lie cause he said he was in the middle of a game and would come online later (I know this is a lie for sure, the other day he was in the middle of a game and stayed online and talked to me..)

So basically, I feel absolutely terrible, I was really enjoying hanging out with him and learning about him.. After he went offline I cried knowing that probably that is the last time I might talk to him. I know deep down this is the right thing, I didn't want to lead him on..
I guess I just want to ask, is their any advise besides giving him some time? Anything, anything at all I could do maybe to make this a little better somehow?
>> AU No. 9021
I'm so hungover right now. I had to spew and then hop straight onto a train to make my class. I don't know how I'm going to get through this day. Make it end!

This is the last time I stay up drinking with My Aunt. This week.
>> GB No. 9028
Do not, I repeat, do not leave the online guy for this one under any circumstances, I know all too well how shitty that feels.

Other than that, I would just let it cool for a little while. Chat and what not, just send the starter message and if he replies, reply, if he doesn't don't press it.
>> DE No. 9031
File 131282606389.jpg - (173.72KB , 1024x768 , BudgiesInstead.jpg )

Best over 9000 GET posts ever, guys.

Seriously, I wish I had a proper reaction image for what I'm feeling. You are all amazing and so kind and everything!

Thank you so much. Sniff ;__;
>> US No. 9032
>audition bullshit
>picking classes late and hoping they aren't full
>class starts sooner this year than I thought it did

Oh, don't mind me, I'm just slowly going insane.
>> GB No. 9033
So London is a riot zone right now, and I am going to the West End tomorrow. I am really quite worried.
TF2chan, we don't always see eye-to-eye, but I am really quite fond of you guys. If anything happens, tell my readers I said "hello".
>> US No. 9035
Holy shit, are you me Anon? Because I have the EXACT same problem with my friends.
>> US No. 9039
Silly me, thinking that I could be honest and express myself.

Back to grieving.
>> US No. 9046
"I am expressing my opinion" is not a magical sentence which gives people the right to make factually incorrect and/or morally repellent statements unchallenged. Opinions are not sacred and unassailable. Opinions can be founded upon "facts" which are false, or upon underlying assumptions which are false, and opinions can be abhorrent in themselves; no one is obliged to respond to such a thing by shrugging and walking away because "that's just, like, his opinion, man." I am tired of seeing people act as though "just stating my opinion" absolves them of any responsibility for their thoughts and words.
>> US No. 9047

>> GB No. 9048
Get over yourself.
>> FR No. 9049

When all you've got to support your statements is "I'm exercising my right to free speech", you're doing it wrong
>> GB No. 9050

I am posting this once, just to say this.

You have nothing to grieve over, you racist piece of shit. I bet if you made the connection that my fucking fiance is ethnically Mexican, and a friend I've come to see as the big sister I've never had is 1/4 black, maybe you would have been exposed as the bigot you are sooner.

Your beliefs are looked down upon in modern society not because you're being oppressed, not because you're a 'white minority', and not because of 'liberals'. You're seen as scum because your beliefs are backward, short-sighted, and fundamentally damaging to everyone around you and to society as a whole.

Learn to actually think about shit like this, instead of dividing the world into 'good' and 'bad' groups based on skin colour. Listen to something other than right-wing media and the bigoted opinions of friends, family and neighbours. Judge people based on who they are, not what they are, or grow old and die out while the rest of us continue to fight against you.

Fuck off. Go away. And never talk to me again.
>> GB No. 9052

Yeah, I fucking hate the Irish too! Those lazy, job-stealing, rioting fuckers-

Wait sorry this isn't 1885
>> US No. 9054
File 131294226253.jpg - (153.26KB , 480x546 , Consider the Following Techpriest.jpg )
I don't even post on this board anymore, but here I am coming in to tell you:

Hey, you're a racist fuckhead. Get the fuck out.
>> US No. 9055

It's bigots like you that make me afraid to tell people I'm conservative. Fuck you.
>> AU No. 9056
if i may try to change the topic:

we'd already discussed it, and it was always inevitable but...

i am now officially engaged
>> CA No. 9058

>> US No. 9063
Good for you Hydra.

I am now officially still single, but least we are still friends. But still, sadness for now. My brain feels like it is a piece of circuitry with electricity arcing all over it, like a cartoon robot with a broken head.
>> DE No. 9071

I never met you or did write with you or communicated with you in any way.

But still i wish you all luck in the world and that you and your fiancée become happy together.
>> US No. 9073
File 131300304935.jpg - (366.20KB , 1658x1172 , Momo2.jpg )
Congratulations/best wishes!

On the me front, as long as I'm here, flight home much better than flight out, but kind of sick/crappy anyway. Probably just having difficult lady-times (figured I'd spoiler-tag that, because for some reason, when I type it out, I imagine my brother trying in vain to block out the world of too-much-information...)

Cat happy to have me home. Spent last night glued to my side. I am happy to be home. Getting back into the swing of treadmilling. Which should make me feel less crappy.
>> DE No. 9076
Congrats, Hydra! Best wishes for you both.

As for me, I'm still buried in stress and it's getting worse than better. Pace in school is taking off and I don't know anymore how to get being a good friend and pursuing my career together. I'm even starting to get sick from stress again, which is only making my situation worse. It's all like a rope, tightening around my body with each day.

I'll stay awake and try to figure something out. I can't sleep well lately anyway.
>> GB No. 9087
Perry, the fact that you worry at all makes you a good friend. Now I command you to put all worrying thoughts of losing us friends out of your mind. Weather its a week, a month or a year, we will always be here when ye manage to escape yer life bonds for a breather, and if we ain't, then we were pretty shitty friends to begin with.

Now take of that rope, this isn't the kinky thread. We all love ya, that ain't gonna change any time soon.
>> US No. 9088
I just realized that it's been three years to this week since I had tried committing suicide. It will still go down as one of my most foolish mistakes ever especially since only now am I digging myself out of the hole it caused. At least I lived and learned.
>> US No. 9089
You are one of those artists I really look up to, it would have been awful to never have seen your work. I'm really, really glad you're still alive.
>> DE No. 9094
File 131307211383.png - (11.93KB , 400x400 , Happy Snake.png )
Awesome people like you make me keep going. Just take care of yourself, too, please. And if not for your sake, do it for mine. You are lovely and should feel lovely!

I'll do my best to sort my shit out.

Even if I don't always find time to talk to you, you are still someone I consider a friend and a very awesome person on top of that. I can safely say: It's great that you are still with us, and I'm so incredibly incredibly thankful for it. All of my friendlove <3
>> US No. 9100
Kitteh, why are you breaking out in a horrible rash again? If you're allergic to yourself that is both the funniest and saddest thing ever.
>> No. 9102
oh hello feelings of worthlessness haven't seen you in a while. Thanks for preventing me having a good time hanging out with people like I usually do because everyone else is that much more awesome then I am and are part of the cool kids club. I /really/ appreciate that.
Anoning because this is stupid but I needed to get it off my chest.
>> AU No. 9105

>> AU No. 9106
File 131312201287.jpg - (69.52KB , 800x600 , Sunset.jpg )

>> US No. 9112
File 131313191781.jpg - (13.06KB , 261x193 , byebyelove.jpg )
Now I'll always think of sunsets as being inherently rage-filled. Like it's the sky getting angry.

And oh man, I know how that feeling builds up when the laptop's in the shop. I was useless with pent up crap when I was waiting to get mine fixed.

Urg. I still can't eat, like, foods. During the day. It's a craptastic way to live. I get all dizzy and headachey, then I force myself to eat something that may or may not make me feel really sick. Pissing me off.

Picture not related, just awesome.
>> No. 9129
File 131323518781.png - (706.93KB , 500x1000 , someone likes you very much.png )
Yes, pretty much everything.
I´m so silly.

But i am happy.
>> No. 9137
File 131328098019.png - (61.35KB , 500x425 , siggraph2011.png )
I just got back from SIGGRAPH! I'm totally exhausted, but I interviewed with someone at The Mill and made some new contacts at EA and Ubisoft! I didn't get to hang out with any contacts I met last year, but it was still worth every penny. A++ would attend again.
>> No. 9138
File 13132832058.png - (314.77KB , 450x338 , scooby-doo-wikipedia-lrg.png )

I live in Vancouver.... How did I not hear of this?!?!?!
>> No. 9139
I wanted to go the Highland Games today and hang out with men in kilts, but I woke up feeling like shit due to womanly issues. I took a shower and got cleaned up, hoping to feel better after that, but I did not so I had to calll my ride and tell them not to pick me up. I feel like I missed out on something awesome, especially when I spent my entire day drifting in and out of sleep. Godamn.
Also writing and drawing are skills that seem to have escaped me. Knitting, though. I can still knit.
>> No. 9140
File 131330230562.jpg - (7.77KB , 259x194 , CriticalMass.jpg )
Photoshop being strange and pissing me off like crazy. My brother has a little more experience, but his suggestions didn't work, and I couldn't just hand it over to him because I was, of course, working on gay porn.

So every time I tried to paint an area white, it made me paint another layer of my background colour, even though it was set to normal and completely opaque. I deleted and created so many layers trying to get it to not glitch, to no avail. On my 'ink' line art layer, I could do it, but it would destroy all my fine lines. So I lost the entire piece, which is always upsetting, but this one was supposed to be gift art for somebody, so now I feel really awful about that (even though it was surprise gift art, so it's not like I'm letting her down since she doesn't know it's coming).

Hopefully I can start over and have it work, but it really blows to lose everything I already did-- the background, the 'penciling' (which I did a couple of times to get things right) and 'inking'... all because once it was time for the first layer of colour to go on, something went wrong.

I finally turned the corner in the realm of feeling sick, though. I don't feel good, but I feel optimistic about my chances of eating breakfast tomorrow as opposed to 'look at food, get sick'.

And I got a new hat! Thanks, clearance accessories of Target, now I can protect my face from the evil sun for only three dollars! So that's good. (While I was there, I saw one that looked so much like the Vintage Tyrolean that I was barely able to contain myself, but if I bought non-functional hats at full price, I would be broke all the time. So I just got the one with the stiff broad brim and promised to come back for the other one...)
>> No. 9146
File 13133712198.gif - (487.76KB , 500x256 , tumblr_lp0fcaz1mH1qie3i0.gif )
I don’t know where to begin. I’m very shy, I don’t normally post anywhere or talk to people because I’m too anxious or don’t know what to say; but I’ve run out of options.

I just went through a breakup, and I’m taking it so hard. My only two friends are probably sick of me complaining or they’re going through their own shit right now, so I’ve got nobody to talk to. I just feel so lonely and sad and broken I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend was my best friend. We had so many things and common and we would always have a blast together; we’d laugh ‘til we cried all the time. Just thinking about how much it suddenly changed is making me choke up with tears. He’s different now, and doesn’t want to do the same things I want to anymore. He’s got so many more friends than I have, and made new ones too, and prefers to spend time with mostly them instead of me. He doesn’t want to be with me romantically anymore, but says he loves me like you would love a sibling. He’s a changed person now, or at least he’s changed with me. I’ve lost both a lover and a best friend at the same time and it hurts tremendously. I don’t know what to do. I feel so abandoned and alone.

tldr; this anon broke up with boyfriend, pretty much has no friends and is brb crying forever
>> No. 9147
I can honestly say I know EXACTLY what you are going through, as about six months ago, I went through the exact same thing, almost word for word, and it still stings to this day.

I understand as well how important it is to have people willing to listen and talk to you, so Im going to give you my steam id which is donstheman and say if you need someone, if you need a friend, i will always be open to listen or talk.

If you prefer, I am also available on skype under the same name, so add me there as well. Don't be afraid to add me, I know you said that yer shy, but I can promise that I won't share anything you don't want me to with anyone else. Get in touch.
>> No. 9148
>>wanted to read a fic that had been spoken highly of by someone else
>>skim fic, looks pretty good
>>possible reference to Medic being a Nazi
>>panic and close tab

Goddamn it, why do I have the most illogical phobias? I spend my life on the internet, nothing should bother me anymore.
>> No. 9149
Don't feel bad, many people have weird phobias. I'm really not comfortable in many restaurants. As for the fanfic, which one was it? One of us can read it and see if it mentions Nazi's at all. Sometimes I wish someone would read fics for me and tell me which ones are gonna make me horrible depressed (like the amazingly well done Fist Do No Harm and Comorbidity. Which do have Nazi's btw).
>> US No. 9153
What the hell is it about me that makes people want to cheat on their girlfriends? Before this past week I've never been touched by a guy, let alone hit on.

But in the last three DAYS I've been prepositioned by no less that 4 guys, all of whom are in a relationship.

None of them know each other so I know it's not a conspiracy/prank deal. I just want to know what the hell is going on.
>> AU No. 9155
There are not enough out-of-context song lyrics in the world to describe how I feel at the moment.
>> CA No. 9156
I just got messaged on fbook by one of the most stellar directors/actors in the whole city, and he asked me if I'm still interested in ASMing (Assistant Stage Manager) the Christmas Carol. I of course said 'ABSOLUTELY', and then he goes on to say that he needs work and dedication, and doesn't have time for 2nd best.
Now, I am a hard worker, and I do well as ASM. But JESUS CHRIST, way to throw pressure in my face! I know I'll do well, but now I'll be at work as ASM wondering 'Oh god, am I doing this right? Am I doing things the way he wants me to? IS EVERY SINGLE THING HE WRITES DOWN 'MY ASM SUCKS ASS'?!'
Obviously, overreacting a bit, but that's me.
>> DE No. 9159
Back from a forum meeting and a concert, my everything hurts, going straight back into hard school work.

Oh man. My feelings can be described best as "fucking hardcorely mixed"
>> US No. 9161
Anne's fic with the birds. All of the birds were named after scientists, I think, and one was named Josef...If Medic's against them, I'm fine with it, he just can't be the one in the uniform or spouting their beliefs.
>> US No. 9164
If it was me, you should be safe. My Medic's not a Nazi sympathizer, since in my headcanon, he was A) Social Democrat as opposed to National Socialist, and B) terrified of being found out and carted off as a homosexual.

So I've written about him having some old war-related angst, but never about him being a Nazi. That would creep/squick me the heck out to write, I think...
>> US No. 9167
Just got done trolling a friend's wall for his birthday with a group of friends. My contribution was terrible 80's music videos.

Sure makes me feel better after the huge fight I had with my dad today.
>> No. 9174
File 131351108212.gif - (213.87KB , 450x250 , 131350037475.gif )
>the Question: Me
>Luthor: Life

i don't think even i realize how fucked i am right now
i mean yes, the trip to America was possibly the best 3 weeks of my life, but it may end up costing me everything. it cost me my job, i know that much. and my parents cant afford to bail me out again
>> US No. 9175
>friends decide to do a My Little Pony group for Halloween
>"Hey, Scoutmama, you should be Rarity!"
>been looking for a loli jsk/op anyway, this gives me a reason to get one
>find one
>click link I sent myself two days later, link invalid
>go back looking again
>can't find one just as good

Come on, you bastards. I just want some purple and white lolita here, and you won't delivrar.

And after I find it, I have to convince Scoutpapa to be Prince Blueblood. Awesome.
>> US No. 9176
I want to invite a friend over so I don't have to spend this entire year alone in my parent's basement. Oh wait, I don't know anyone because of social anxiety.
Not namefagging because I'm stupid and my posts are stupid.
>> DE No. 9178
(Insert current icon of feelings RIGHT HERE!)
> Ask brother to use inet
> Bro knows of situation and is understanding

I want to get into Steam, because i wanna chat with friends. And it doesn´t help at all that i had yesterday a great day with everyone (including, maybe especially including special person) and i don´t want to sit here and have shitty internet and i´m just sad and angry and grrrr.

As i hadn´t internet i could just wrote letters to my friends.
>> US No. 9181
It really bothers me that I'm still not over "ooooh, Mr. Mysterious, ooooh" phase, because it seems like every time the fog of mystery dissipates, the guy is a creepy jerk and not the cuddly bear I hope for. I'm glad I've learned to back the fuck away from that shit, but at the same time it's frustrating, because I like the guys who are rough on the outside with a sweet center, but I just find the chocolate covered coconut guys. Love the chocolate, fucking hate the coconut.
>> US No. 9182
You don't know how relieved I am to hear that. I'm going to read the fic now, thanks!
>> US No. 9190
I don't always get sick, but when I do... blah. Caught my sister's cold, which often doesn't happen because while she has no immune system, I have an AWESOME immune system. Well, this time my immune system decided to stop being awesome.

Today we debated over whether it was 'feed a cold, starve a fever', or 'starve a cold, feed a fever'. All anyone could definitively remember was that my dad always said 'Feed a cold, starve a failure', which was not entirely helpful.

I feel like it should be 'feed a cold', because I've been really hungry, but on the other hand, it might just seem like I'm especially hungry because right before the cold, there were a few days where I couldn't eat at all due to a combination travel stress and craptacular ladytimes. So maybe I'm just comparatively hungry because I'd been unable to be normally hungry right before my immune system gave up.

Also, fried cheese curds are freaking awesome. I should not eat them. But they are good. I think it might be some genetic thing, I think my people like to see what kind of things they can fry and consume. And that's why I look at things that could kill me and think 'I want to eat that!'.
>> No. 9195
YES, proper cheese curds are freakin' awesome! I ALWAYS get them when I go to Wisconsin.(the rare chances I do.)
as for colds, liquids and vitamin C work for me.Also Benadryl for your nose,if it doesn't knock you out.(but tons of sleep is good for a cold.)
I know how you feel bro.
>> US No. 9196
Damn it Mom, you know you have to be specific with me when it comes to instructions. When you say "rinse out the hand towel" I assume "rinse it out with water" not "wring the water out of it"!
>> US No. 9197
File 131361586929.gif - (433.89KB , 500x281 , AAA - hot owl.gif )
Interacting with HR people of potential employers is absolutely fucking terrifying, especially when you have fucked up.

oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god
>> GB No. 9198
I made the terrible mistake of thinking it was a good idea to cycle to my archery session today. I am not especially fit at the best of times. Couple that with several kilos of kit on my back, a lingering cold and getting horribly lost in a place I've lived in for fifteen years and you get... bad times. Also, until today I did not know what saddle sores were. Now I wish that were still the case.

tl;dr: I hurt. A lot. On the plus side, watching Dr Who high on endorphins was pretty sweet.
>> CA No. 9203
According to WebMD you're not supposed to really starve anything.

My feelings- I think I'm sick, and I don't like it. Woke up at like three AM, absolutely FREEZING, so I covered myself in like, every blanket in my closet. Woke up at 8, skin on fire. Got a fever of like, a degree higher than normal, but I'm all achey and shit.

But bright side, we got lots of really fucking awesome deals shopping in Bangor.
>> CA No. 9206
New feelings.

My uncle is an asshat. He works for my dad, his brother-in-law, as an industrial insulator. My dad is Branch Manager, he's sixty, and had a heart attack a little over 15 years ago.
My uncle is also an alcoholic, and showed up to a job site with booze on his breath, puking in a garbage can. Now, the work site has a zero-tolerance policy for drugs and alcohol.
So now my dad has to fire his brother-in-law. And it's causing him a lot of stress, and mom says that he's going to leave work and retire at the end of this year, and he has a company car, so we'll be down to one vehicle, and we're going to have to downsize after living in the same house for more than twenty years, and we're going to be way more limited in what we buy, and when we buy it and stuff...

And it's my mom's fucking birthday, and I have no money to buy her a present, and even if I did, I have no way to go to the mall to get her one, because I'm sociophobic and can't take the bus on my own without having a panic attack. And she says that me helping clean the house can be her present, but that's not a fucking present. Not really. And I can't get a fucking job because there are only minimum-wage, retail-type positions available, and since I've got a BA, I keep getting the 'overqualified' stamp, which is ridiculous, because it's a BA in English. Regarding retail, I still know the exact same amount of things I did without the BA. And I can't apply for any of the student jobs because you have to be returning to school, and I can't return to school because I HAVE NO MONEY.

It's just...it's not been a good day. I need a hug.
>> US No. 9208

Here's an internet hug, hope it helps a little bit.
>> CA No. 9209
Thank you. It does, a little.
>> CA No. 9210
I have a hug for you too. Enjoy.

Today I felt very overwhelmed at work. I only started working there two weeks ago, and I'm a temp with a job agency. So of course every other temp hates me because I'm getting work. It's obviously because I've got connections, not because I ACTUALLY DO SHIT WHEN I'M ON THE LINE, AS OPPOSED TO STANDING AROUND AND TALKING WITH OTHER TEMPS AND LETTING THE FULL-TIMERS DO ALL THE WORK.
And most of the full-timers don't like me becaused they assume that since I'm a temp I'm therefore incompetent. They get paid according to a rate, so if they don't get enough products processed, they don't make any money. Since I was the only temp on the line, I was of course the sole reason why we were behind and thus not making money. Not because the set-up guys were taking forever to get our line going and the lady putting on labels and feeding the line was really slow. No, not at all. It's all the temp's fault, always.
God fucking dammit.
>> US No. 9213
>Went off to stay at a friend's place for four days
>Brought along best friend and other friend
>"We all get to hang out, yay!"
>OH WAIT LOL they both have a crush on best friend and totally disregard me
>Depression sits in, I can't eat, it takes everything to keep me from crying
>Friends carry on and continue to ignore and exclude me
>Horrible fucking week.

Feelings? I'm feeling like an unwanted piece of shit that only gets in the way. Oh and the real kicker here is that I had a small crush on one of the guys. My best friend always winds up getting every member of the group to have a crush on her and I always wound up getting pushed aside for her.
This always fucking happens.
>> US No. 9214
Scared like a bitch after hearing the HalfLife Headcrab Zombies' "speech" reversed.

I'm never gonna sleep again, you guys. Why would I ever read Cracked's "7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs" at 5 in the morning aaaaauuuughhhhhhh.

Here's the link for all the dumb people who want to repeat my mistake: http://www.cracked.com/article_19332_7-creepy-video-game-easter-eggs-youll-wish-were-never-found.html
>> US No. 9215
There was a mouse in our house earlier today. For all I know, he's still there. Makes going into our dark pantry 100% creepier.

I'm not afraid of mice (I usually think they're adorable), but I am afraid of accidentally putting my food down on/by a wild animal and having to go to the doc's for a series of painful shots after getting bitten.

Cats are no help. Mo in particular-- my cat is SIXTEEN POUNDS. Of MUSCLE. He is scared to death of going into the area where the mouse was last seen. It was cartoonish and kind of hilarious but also kind of sad.

No matter how many times we say 'you're not a tiny baby kitty, you're humongous and you could kill a mouse', he will not believe us. He just wants to hide behind me. He actually backed out of the area between my legs before turning and running.

Other cat also not helpful. He keeps shouting at the window, like 'I think the mouse came from out there, you guys! I'm gonna keep watch here!'

We don't have the smartest/toughest cats in the world. But we got some live traps, so if the mouse didn't smell the cats and leave through the garage on its own, we can maybe catch it and let it out down by the canal. And I'd rather do the live trap thing than deal with rodent corpses-- did that back when we lived in the mountains and had a real mouser of a cat, never pleasant.
>> US No. 9216
Starting to slowly overcome fear of diving alone into an established community over "I might not be up to their standards!" notion. I've realized that the way to go about being a noob in this community is to act mature and apologetic instead of "lol im new y u mad?"

I will be a good member, egl. Please treat me well, and I will do the same.
>> US No. 9224
Mouse update: Mouse ignored all traps and pretzels (there were some pretzels sitting out) in favour of crawling into a recliner and making it into his home.

It was a terrible recliner, and we had been after my mom to replace it, but the furniture place in town can't deliver the new one until Tuesday, which leaves us short on furniture.

Also, the hassle of dragging a mouse-infested chair out to the curb, but that one wasn't on me. My brother handled that.

Still, house is full of stress and I have to move boxes of crap around to make room for emergency backup seating and future furniture delivery.

My cowardly cat currently trying to make me feel better by leaning on my shoulder and purring as loudly as possible.

(the other cat, by the way, finally decided he wanted to do his job when he realized that the chair with the mouse in it was going outside.)
>> CA No. 9228
I have one of those stupid 'pimple on the side of my tongue' dealies, and it's driving me nuts.

Also, I just realized that I skipped dinner and didn't even notice. Probably be starving in the morning, but I won't risk eating this late at night. Stomach would not be pleased. Eh well. C'est la vie.
>> US No. 9229
You ever feel like once your friend starts dating someone you cease to matter to them and even if you try everything to cheer them up when they're sad you can't cause you're not their significant other and you're always "the nice guy/girl everyone would be lucky to date" but nobody actually wants to date you and...gah. What am I doing wrong?
>> CA No. 9230
Whatever it is, I'm doing it wrong too. Haven't seen my BFF in weeks. Fuck you, 'Mark', and your...okay, I have nothing against you personally, but hell, go get some male friends, you twit, so I can have my gurlfriend back!
>> CA No. 9231
Story of my life. Makes me wish my best friend wasn't super hot.

Feelings are kind of related to this, oddly enough.

My best friend introduced me to a friend when we first started high school on msn and we flirted and joked playfully and it was nice. I kind of liked him, but I mean I'd never met him so I didn't think much of it. Then I met him and holy christ I'd never felt that way about someone before. I pined away for a year or so then asked him out about a year and a half after meeting him. He turned me down saying he'd 'love to, but the distance would make it difficult.' So I resigned myself to trying to accept it, but still thinking I'd be alone and miserable for the rest of my life since I was fourteen at the time. When I was seventeen, my best friend dated him and it broke my heart in twelve different ways. They dated for a couple months and then broke up and I was kind of happy in spite of myself. I'm a horrible person, sup. They broke up because she didn't want to jump into having sex after dating a week. So he moved on to date this kind of slutty girl so he could get some sex, then went right back to the bestie and begged her to take him back. Surprise, she said no. Anyways time passed, drama drama drama he's still actively trying to get back together with the bestie, though he seems to think the best time to try is ALWAYS while she's drunk, though not as drunk as he thinks so she always says no. In spite of how much I like him, he's a bit of an asshole. So since getting back from college in May he's been avoiding the bestie. She thinks he's mad at her, he explains that it just HURTS TOO MUCH TO BE NEAR HER or some other such bullshit. Turns out he's avoiding her because he's dating slutty chick again and he doesn't want her to think he's a dirtbag.
Of course, every time anything involving him comes up I cast myself into a pit of self-hatred, wondering 'what do they have that I don't?' and wishing I just went to sleep and didn't wake up.
Boyfriendbot 2000 says 'good for her, she's liked him a long time' and my immediate thought is always 'ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? I'VE LIKE HIM A LONG TIME, SHE'S JUST SOME SLUT.' And then I realize I'm all the more horrible for it and hate myself some more.

>> US No. 9237

Yep, I know how y'all feel. Either all my female friends are gorgeous or have big ta tas so all the guys are all over them. People spend too much time trying to guess my gender rather than get to know me, I guess.
>> US No. 9239
I know exactly how that is. I barely register as an A-cup and I've been told that if my male friends met someone with my exact personality, but who actually had tits, they'd date me.

I...you don't tell someone that to their face, especially when they've never been able to find a boyfriend.
>> US No. 9241
First year of college starts monday. And by college I mean 3 online classes and a calculus class. I hate math, and for some reason that I do not understand, the schools think I am super great at it, despite barely passing every single math class since middle school. I just hope there will be at least one person I will like being around in the class, be it a girlfriend or just a regular friend. I don't think I could handle an entire year alone. But I guess if I get a job I might be able to socialize a bit.
>> US No. 9242
Ugh, yeah. When my best friend whom I had a huge thing for was "in love" with one of my female friends he was all upset because he knew it wouldn't work (20 year age gap). He'd ask to accompany me in my online adventures because I get very chatty. He took it as an excuse to be rude to me just to "take his mind off things" and he couldn't "feel better" unless he spoke to her.
I'm in between an A and B, even push up bras don't help much unless I wear something really feminine (which I rarely do because I don't feel right like that). I basically gave up. I can't get the slightest interest in a guy unlss he's a 40 year old married man going through a midlife crisis, and even then it only lasts until his wife finds out and starts banging him again.
>> US No. 9243
File 13139199567.jpg - (2.19KB , 104x73 , FordArthur.jpg )
Coming in here to commiserate. I was in love with my best friend for forever, and wound up watching him date a friend I introduced him to, then consoling him through the breakup.

He was actually very considerate of my feelings when I was sad and obvious and crap, without leading me on, and he's still my best friend even when we live far apart and don't get to talk often, so at least there's that, but yeah.

The one thing that sucked harder than introducing him to a friend who started dating him was watching him date a girl who I could tell was no good for him and just having to let it run its course. Because while the breakup with the nice girl hurt just because every breakup does when you're a teenager, the girl in college was... it was bad. He couldn't see the bad parts of her, and I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up since it would just look like me being petty, but she wasn't good for him and when I tried to be nice and make friends hoping that I was wrong about her because a part of me was just jealous... ugh. Like, as soon as he left the room, she just froze me out and gave me a death glare, like I was intruding upon a date when she was tagging along on a pre-arranged friend thing. Apparently when he saw her again after the breakup, she had turned into more of an evil skank and he had a 'whoa, perspective' moment.

I have a lot of good girlfriend qualities. I'm down with totally nerdy guy stuff and not into the stuff my guy friends always complain about. (Though my problem is less a lack of bust than it is an overabundance of everything else)

I am a little worried that I won't be able to fully get over said best friend, since whenever I get a crush on a guy, a part of me always says 'but he will never be the Arthur Dent to your Ford Prefect' (BFF and I are both Hitchhiker's Guide fans, he's a tea-drinking guy who enjoys a quiet life in the countryside, I'm the girl everyone called a martian all through school who stared into space all the time and didn't blink enough... But I 'ship them/us and he doesn't, so... we'll always have Towel Day, but that's about it.)

It's kind of a shame, because there's a kind of cute guy I play D&D with now, I know he's used to working around the kind of issues I have, and he actually said to me that it was so nice to finally get to talk to someone who understood him. But old unresolved feelings keep popping up whenever I start to feel crush-like over him.

This was so much easier when all the hot guy friends I hung out with were gay... I never had to worry about sexual tension, I was able to appreciate the fact that they were cute without wanting to get in on that action... Whenever it's a cute straight boy, confusion reigns.
>> DE No. 9244
Sorry, anon. But your so called friends seem to be some assholes, who wouldn´t recognize a wonderfull girlfriend, if she would stand naked before them. This has nothing to do with looks. Even in my steamgroup the guys says: It doesn´t matter how she looks so long the personality is right. (Saying this to finding a girlfriend. OneNightstands are different rated by them.)
If for them it matters how big the breast are than they can´t really speak of finding a serious relationship.

What do you consider as really feminine? A dress or wearing a skirt? I´m a jeans and shirt type. But still i have in the last years found some tops, which are not overly feminine, but just don´t look like from the mans section. Just keep looking, through the shops even if it´s frustrating to find nothing too feminine sometimes. And a good sitting jeans (cut, proportions, color) is just so more attracting than a skirt in my opinion.
>> US No. 9245
Fitted jeans and a baby doll t-shirt or tank top. I used to wear a lot of black, but I'm changing that. My parents want me to wear more dresses, but I don't feel right showing a lot of skin or being that feminine. I agree with you, it is so much more about the way it fits instead vs. simply being a skirt.
>> US No. 9250
Blouses work wonders, or even a nice jacket or a cardigan to go over the tees you already have. Don't shy away from jewelry, but don't wear too much of it, either. Sometimes wearing a necklace with a tee is just enough to make it kinda feminine without being overwhelmingly so.
>> US No. 9251
9242Anon responding:
Yeah, that much I've figured out. I'm starting to think about changing who I'm talking to and interacting with.

RAGE for car's exhaust pipe breaking before the catalytic converter. I was too scared to drive it home today because my family is working. My mom has tomorrow off so I'll drive home then.

More rude people on the FAP clan server for TF2. I don't know what I do to attract such negative comments. I'm a regular there, so casual conversations with the admins is normal but random pubbers or frequent visitors have a habit of being very rude to me. Got called fat today because I was speaking about my turkey pepperoni that fell into my canberry/blackberry juice which the admins were amused by. I don't think 130lbs + 17% body-fat for a female is "fat"...but I guess we all have our own standards. I don't understand why I'm always picked on, be it in real life or online, but I guess I'll just have to get used to it.
>> US No. 9254
People are assholes. Don't worry, you aren't alone. Someone called me a fat whore cause I said I liked donuts. I told him donuts were worth it. Just agree with them, confuse them, disturb them, or ignore them and they'll wander off.
>> CA No. 9258
File 131407540182.png - (220.36KB , 381x365 , 12527551066.png )
she says
it gets better
>> US No. 9260
I want you BOTH. :Y

Hit me up with an email some time. I haven't been RPing lately, and that's just a damn shame.

Anyways, I'm pretty happy atm. Been making progress with writing shit. I like where this is going.
>> US No. 9261
File 13140919883.jpg - (9.12KB , 193x261 , InnerRageCat.jpg )
Slept most of today, felt sick most of the time I was awake, hurt my ankle. All this I could bear with strength and dignity, but...

I am missing the stylus replacements for my tablet pen, and it needs changing again before I wear it down to a nub and can't remove it, and I am going crazy because I haven't been able to draw.

Last night went through two old sketchpads only to find that they were completely full, just getting twitchier and twitchier. Finally found one with blank paper. Did some sketching with pencil and a purple fine-line Sharpie.

Felt better for a bit, but...

I'm never going to get better at digital art if I just go running back to trad. media. There are things I like so much better about my art when I'm physically drawing it on paper with pencils/pens/markers/etc., there's a depth and texture that I'm not yet able to replicate with my digital lineart, and it's a little easier to make things look right when I'm watching my hands draw instead of watching a screen. BUT, again, I need to keep working on improving those aspects of my digital art.

Plus, even though there are parts that are more complicated and take longer, it's so much easier to fix mistakes, even if it does take a lot of time. And my scanner no longer talks to my computer, so of course if I want anyone to see that art, digital is my friend.

So yeah. Just going a little art-stir crazy, especially since I'd just been flipping through a really great book on figure drawing. Got all inspired and then I could not find the stylus replacement that got moved around during the Great Mouse Fiasco that turned our living room upside down.

Upside: 'Great Mouse Fiasco' would be a great name for a rock band. Also, Captcha says 'Mammary', and I'm immature enough to giggle at that.

My giant cat is going to give me a dead arm if he doesn't get off it, though...
>> DE No. 9264
> feeling down
> looking for confidence by best friend
> best friend is also down
> can´t go to other person, because i don´t want to put to much pressure on him and not let him feel bad

tl;dr: Needy for hugs and live is confusing.
>> US No. 9265
You may has hugs. Well, happiness in any case.
Random: my captcha was "hatboy". Fitting, considering the game.
>> US No. 9266
File 131411610983.jpg - (18.71KB , 250x333 , sugarycarnival.jpg )
>go out to dinner-and-a-movie double date last night
>find out I am GETTING MY DREAM DRESS DEAUGHH (pic related)
>trim bangs
>figure out long-standing problem with sewing machine

I feel pretty and awesome and excited and YES.
>> GB No. 9268
I have so many mixed feelings about this dress. On the one hand it represents everything I hate about sweet lolita plus having the gall to pretend it comes in purple. On the other hand it has horses made of marshmallows and I just can't hate on horses made of marshmallows. Damnit, Angelic Pretty, what sorcery is this?!
(Personal tastes aside, it's awesome that you're getting your dream dress!)

On an unrelated note, I journeyed to London yesterday to see Captain America. It was pretty sweet, although I think Thor was a better movie, but my god am I excited for the Avengers. Nnnngh.
To facilitate above, I have spent 3 1/2 hours on trains or between trains today and I think my head will explode in a minute. So, do I have an early night... or do I finish the next chapter of fic? Gee, that's a tough one.
>> DE No. 9269

Aww, that´s sweet. Thank you! I did need a hug. Feel huged back.
>> US No. 9270
File 131412608892.png - (387.23KB , 964x715 , DeusSpecs_Soldier.png )
Had a good day at work today, I got all the major labors done, paperwork, and got all my bookwork up to date. Now if I can make it the rest of the week without a hitch, that'll be groovy. Also looking forward to an excellent inventory report.

I finally got all the work done with TF2chan's Mantrain and Man-Caboose, and in such a short amount of time, too. It wasn't hard and I knew what I was doing, but it was tedious at most, since everything required a lot of my personal time to complete. The servers were in a very sorry state before they were put into my hands.

Balancing my full-time+ job, life at home, my TF2chan duties, my duties with Team Gee, and my love life on top of it is no easy feat. But feels good to be able to keep everything organized and non-chaotic.

Feels good man, feels real good. Bring it on, there ain't anything going to break this camel's back!
>> US No. 9285
Well, it doesn't pretend it comes in purple, it is in purple, and that's the color I'm getting. I usually like Classic better than Sweet, but I fell in love with this print the moment I saw it and I knew I had to get it. Thanks :)
>> CA No. 9287
I. LOVE. Babies.

My little cousin is visiting. Fed him, took him for a stroll around the lake, played with him and his new toy train (he LOVES it), and he gave me kisses all afternoon!

UH! I could just eat him up. I'm gonna have like, sixty kids if they're all as precious as he is!
....except he pooped six times today. Not so precious. But eh, the good with the bad, right?
>> US No. 9292
Awwwww. (I always used to be one of those DO NOT LIKE CHILDREN people, but I recently visited with my baby cousin, so now I totally understand that high you get from playing with a baby...)
>> US No. 9300
I usually go with a choker and maybe a corderoy jacket if it's slightly chilly. I have a couple cardigans/dusters as well.

All of the hugs for you, too.

Oh man, I'd love to RP too, or learn how to do it better, but I'm too chicken to un-anon.

Weh, I love babies too. I can't stay or even easily get mad at kids.
>> GB No. 9304
LIES! That is not purple! That is lavender! It is a weak imitation of purple!
No, no, I'm not bitter about the lack of deep purples in lolita, not one bit...

Now, feelings! Today my mother, sister and I are launching an expedition to IKEA to buy my little sis stuff for university, and it's really quite worrying. It seems like my whole life is speeding away and I haven't really achieved anything yet. Ho hum. Perhaps it's time to go work on the Quick Fix some more.
>> US No. 9306
I feel fat and lonely and bad at art and school is starting soon and I have worthless plans for my future and I can't get to sleep. Nothing is going correctly.
>> US No. 9307
Well, my wardrobe is all the obscurer loli colors (curse my favorites!), it's lavender/purple, mint, grey and wine, so I know how you feel. I know that Meta put out a grape dress once, but it had and awkward bib and a halter top that doesn't lend well to blouses imo, so my solution is to make it myself. Darker purple looks lovely with classic coords.
>> DE No. 9310
Seems like the autumn is coming and everywhere around me some pairs are breaking off.

Feels bad, because it makes me depressed as hell.

Oh yeah and i´m just so a person who says: Hey you are the guy who is ever depressed and i try to build up! Know what? I will still try to do so! What the flying fuck is wrong with me? Can´t i just burn down a bridge? No, i´m there. Here my shoulder cry again on it because of your broken heart... wait this is awfull familiar.
>> US No. 9312
>browse through older weaboostories posts for shits and giggles
>find a post from just a couple months ago from someone who got into Hetalia when they were twelve
>said person has reached the inevitable "Oh, god, I was such an obnoxious fanbrat back then" stage of life
>realized a fandom that has been around since 2006 at the earliest is old enough for people to reach that stage
>Christ, I feel old

And yet, I'm still a few weeks away from being able to legally buy booze. Perspective, self, perspective...
>> DE No. 9314
File 131421472097.png - (103.62KB , 500x500 , 128003610416.png )
All of my hugs for you.

And everyone else who wants a hug, really! Love you all, even though I don't have time for you at the moment. You're in my thoughts.
>> US No. 9315
Ginger, I don't really know what to say to that, so I'll just tell you what I think about you in general.

You're a sweet girl that always seems full of life and potential. I actually think your art is very good (Well... compared to mine. Don't know if my opinion even counts in that regard, lol) and I love your female Engineer OC.

You're also a regular on my story Breaking Point in afanfic section, and your comments never fail to make me smile. I guess it goes without saying now that I consider you a real friend.

Don't know what you're going through right now, but never give up, alright?
>> DE No. 9318

Aww Perry, it warms my heart to read it. Fell hugged back and don´t be worried you are in our thoughts, too. Well, you are in mine.
>> US No. 9320
I think there may be a stomach virus going around and it's getting around pretty damn fast. My stepsister got it last night, my younger sister this morning, and now I'm starting to feel like I might puke any second.
>> US No. 9323
Thank you so much. That actually made me feel a bunch better. I'm really just in a funk right now, but I'm pulling out of it.
>> US No. 9324
False alarm, I'm actually feeling hungry now. It may have just been something I ate.
>> US No. 9328
File 131425185885.jpg - (11.91KB , 249x203 , RageCat.jpg )
A tiny moth flew into my mouth. Using a rage cat, since I have a bunch of those, and no 'I want to throw up and die' images...

I have a particular horror of moths, I have ever since I was little. So I kind of freaked out and spat and almost vomited into the sink and rinsed my mouth out and gagged...

Luckily I had already made cupcakes/cake so that I could drown my horror and disgust in chocolate, but my baking didn't come out really well... but I substituted in apple sauce instead of oil, so they're healthier than they could have been.

Anyway, yeah. Feeling gross and disappointed in my bake!fail (my initial plan? Medic cupcakes. My improvised final product, slightly molten tiny lava-ish cakes with some haphazard red sprinkles that almost resemble my class symbol for me and pink Himalayan salt for everyone else)

Also, when I was getting a photograph of one of the not-too-bad-looking cupcakes, my cat heard the shutter sound and thought I wanted to photograph him, so he jumped up and almost landed in my cupcake. I jerked it out of the way just in time, then had to rescue my coffee from the other cat, who likes drinking coffee...
>> US No. 9331
>wake up from dream about David Bowie
>massive cramps
>sit here with heating pad and watch Labyrinth

At least I can make some good from a bad situation.
>> US No. 9361
I thought I was over this childish "boo-hoo I'm alone every day" crap but I guess not. I don't even know why I got out of bed this morning.
>> DE No. 9362
Burn the bridge with fire and laugh or cry.

I did it. I did it. I cut the string, I´m doing it right now. I can´t do this anymore. Why does it hurt? No it doesn´t. It feels weird. I want to purge. That´s all after all these years and tears this is all? Just a damn "Ai"? Did i hurt your feelings? It´s ever so, you can´t forgive such a thing, can´t you? After the almsot first try to get off you, i tried to give you a olive brench, because i thought we could be still friends. Because i worried about you. Why don´t you thread me as a friend, but more as a toy to entertain you? I know you can be a friend. I know it. You were once the dearest person on the world for me. But after i pointed out i feel like a toy you can use in the last time, you just ignore it. I told you a last goodbye and wishes for your future and thanks for everything you did for me. Still you just ignore me.

I wish i could just say: You know what? Than FUCK YOU! If everything you say to this is Ai.
Wouldn´t there be this horrible taste in my mouth by these words i just could do so. If you don´t even try to give this friendship a chance anymore. But wait it´s partly my fault, because i came running back to you after i thought, that you maybe are doing something stupid to yourself.

tl;dr: It´s hot here. I feel awfull on a day which started WONDERFULL. And i want to punch something. I just quited the friendship to my first love and all he said to it was "Ai". I´m stupid, because i expected more. Seems now i see how much i was worth for him as a friend.
>> DE No. 9363
If this person really treats you like crap, you did the right thing. 100%. Don't look back and feel guilty for what you did. You deserve SO MUCH better than being ignored. All of my hugs and support for ya!
>> DE No. 9365
Thanks Perry, i just should have heard on a other wonderfull person and cut the tie earlier, but i just came running back to him as i heard how bad he has it now and how his life is bad in the moment. Feel hugged back, Perry.

It´s just awfull to lose a friend after so long. But i think somehow i did the right thing, if he never took me serious.
>> GB No. 9369
Everything that Perry said. We haven't really spoken (and I don't even have a name here yet) but you seem to be a totally sweet person and you can't let them get you down. Be strong, my dear!
>> DE No. 9374
Life is a learning experience. You should have done it earlier, yes - But no need to beat yourself up over it. You know and feel better now, that's what counts.
>> US No. 9375
And you know that we're all here to talk to you when you need us. We don't ignore our friends when they need us. My email's up here if you need me.
>> US No. 9376

Someone told me that they'd be interested in RPing last night, which was great and awesome! But she has not been on all day, and I'm all, "MUUUH, WHERE IS MY FUTURE RP BUDDY."

I know it sounds kinda creeper-ish, but you have to understand - I have not RPed for MONTHS, and I was totally psyched to have a prospect! I want to nag them, but GOD, I GOT THE ITCH, MAN. U feel like this is the RP-equivalent to blue balls.

Rant over.
>> CA No. 9378
I know the feeling. I hate when that happens.
>> US No. 9379
Oh, hey there! Wanna shoot me an email?
>> US No. 9380

We must be twins or something because I'm going through the exact same thing, only I'm getting a bunch of rp buddies dropping like flies on me and yet I find them rping with other people. I ask them if we'll rp ever again and I keep getting promise after promise "oh we will...just (insert excuse here)" and it's running into months now and I'm getting the feeling I'm boring to others now. I just wish they'd tell me up front instead of hinting at a rp that never happens.

So much for my anti-stress relief.
>> US No. 9381

If you need an RP partner, I'd be glad to try things out with you!

>> US No. 9382

Well if you have AIM, my screenname is ValiaxGryphon or Steam at Medic Jarvis. I don't have any other means of instant messengers.
>> US No. 9385
Tried your Steam name, and that didn't work. I'd try to email you, but I have no idea how AIM works, so I can't figure out how to get your address...

Wanna just send me an email so that we can get this all sorted out? It should be with my name up there.
>> CA No. 9387
my laptop crapped out on my last night and I haven't been able to check my email! I wanted to, YEARNED TO, but until I get a new keyboard I can't. I'll get back you, I DEFINITELY WILL, but for now I can't.
You mentioned messengers, do you use msn? If so, add me! It works on my crappy old desktop, but hotmail does not. Address is up in the email field.
>> US No. 9388
Rgh, mildly crushworthy guy friend, why you gots ta be so confusing? We are both so socially awkward that I have no idea if we're flirting or not.

Good stuff today: Ate tacos, saw an owl, talked geek stuff with aforementioned confusing guy friend.

Bad stuff today: Cat in a weird bad mood all day, snapped at me for the first time in his LIFE, no warning meow or anything-- he is normally the gentlest, sweetest kitty, and he never tries to use his teeth on 'mom', so I don't know what his little kitty problem is but I feel bad that he's having a bad day.

Also, a couple dangerously unsafe drivers-- one car narrowly avoided hitting us because they were trying to pass a semi and didn't have a lane, and another almost hit a little kid at a crossroad-- the kid was already halfway across the street, there were clearly other cars stopping to let the pedestrians cross, and this guy blows right past us and if the kid hadn't stopped short and jumped back... I just, man, I'm still kind of shaken up from seeing this random kid in peril.

And I feel sick, but I think it's a combination of being under-hydrated and maybe a little sleep deprived.

Cat being cuddly now. Which would be more pleasant if it wasn't really warm in here, but it seems like at least he's in a better mood... But yeah, stressful day.
>> DE No. 9390
Don't forget that I'm still all for rping with ya! Once I have the time again, WE WILL RP THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY

So many activies to catch on, oh my!
>> GB No. 9391
Count me in on this RP-athon guys.
>> CA No. 9394
Wouldn't dare forget it! I WILL WAIT TILL THE END OF TIME
>> GB No. 9402
Welp, so much for being aloud to say what I want to say. Oh sure, its ok for them to lie through their front teeth and claim I have no idea what Im talkin about when they said they told me the truth. Doesn't matter though, everything I said is 100% true, for a while, a certain person said something about their ex, basically making them look like scum, so that is how I choose to perceive that person, as scum.
>> US No. 9403
Oh god.

I just realized that I meticulously plan things so that I have structure in my life, I've been doing this all of my life, and I HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED.

I don't know if that makes me a sheltered child of suburbia, or obsessive compulsive.

Brb, crying for no good reason.
>> US No. 9406
That's not exactly a bad thing, as long as it isn't messing up your life in anyway. *hugs* Some might call is cautious or responsible
>> US No. 9408
That's what Scoutpapa was trying to say last night, but it's really scary to me. I haven't figured out until now that the fact I need structure is why I freak out when I'm the littles bit late, or when something happens that I didn't plan on. I carry a schedule with me everywhere, I can't have outfits that don't match exactly. I have to take a semester off of school so I can get a job, and it scares me that I don't have classes and things to plan around.

What's even worse is that Scoutpapa is very free for in everything he does. He's a jazz musician hippie go-with-the-flow type, and it's hard for him to comprehend that my brain works like this.
>> US No. 9409
I have no idea why my mother is crawling back to her ex-husband. I refuse to call a man who has been repeatedly abusive to me and a cheating sonuvabitch any father of mine. If i wasn't finanically crippled right now I would not be moving back in with him. But first chance i get i am outta there.
>> DE No. 9411

All the hugs which i didn´t reserved are going to you. Just keep hanging there. I know you can make it and don´t try to force yourself to much to interact with him and of making nice. It surely will not be a long time. Best wishes!
>> US No. 9416
Sometimes I don't feel like writing is worth my time and effort. Sometimes I just don't know where I'm going in life, or if I'm going anywhere at all.

Just don't know what to do with myself...
>> CA No. 9418
I know the feeling. Just graduated with my BA, and I have no idea what to do next. Can't find work, have never been in any sort of romantic relationship.

I'm starting to feel like I'm just going to sit in this chair my entire life.
>> US No. 9419
File 131457051496.jpg - (39.56KB , 400x280 , dogofhappiness.jpg )
Internet hugs for everyone on this thread. Y'all give me a place to vent when I need it, and I in turn follow your various struggles and wish for good things to happen to you. Sometimes it just makes me feel better knowing this thread is here.

Like today, when I slept in, missed going out with the family, had technical difficulties, and got cussed out by some random guy. I don't talk to a lot of people, so... yeah. If I didn't know I could come here and unload, that crap would all just fester.

So thanks for being, all of you. Good luck with everything. (and sorry I don't spend more time giving individual encouragement)
>> DE No. 9420
File 131457315267.gif - (425.74KB , 177x214 , tumblr_lewvh6JFkR1qey0hx.gif )
I think I caught a nasty cold.


As if I didn't have enough on my back.
>> GB No. 9421
Come come now, yer an excellent writer and if ye put yer mind to it, you could do anythin, I know ye can. What would ya want to do?
>> CA No. 9423
I got told today that women shouldn't play Tf2, because TF2 is not the kitchen.

Pissed me off.

But the admin of the server, who has strict rules regarding stuff like that, banned him immediately, and it made me feel good.
>> US No. 9424
Oh man, that pisses me off just hearing about it secondhand.

I ran into a jerk today playing, too, but at least mine didn't bring gender into things. Glad your jerk got banned.
>> GB No. 9425
Been in the same boat kinda, instead of my sex though, it was the fact I am Scottish, though for some reason he did a scouse accent... confused the fuck outta me.
>> US No. 9429
File 131461144927.jpg - (7.36KB , 204x204 , EyeballsForever.jpg )
Dick move, man. Who makes fun of the Scots? People who can't handle AWESOMENESS? (Yeah, I think I've just made it clear where my people hail from... oddly, people on the Internet-- if my location isn't displayed-- often assume I live there, and people IRL often assume I was born there...)

(Mine was... I don't know, maybe just a super-serious player with anger management issues who cusses out anyone who doesn't come up to his standards? I was having glitches like crazy, and admittedly, this did make me temporarily the worst Medic ever, but on the other hand, dude, you didn't have any Medics before I joined the server, so it's not like my joining and then being unable to be helpful actually hurt your game. But I felt bad because I do hate not being able to help my team... Still, there's a way to not be a jerk. Sigh. I'll just try to give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe he was having a really bad day all around and he reacts to stress by being an asshat. I try to avoid super-serious 'stop having fun, guys' servers because I know I'm not that good yet, but the server I was on when I started glitching seemed more low-key/polite. I just need to re-turn off my ability to hear people with mics, I guess)

Took photographs of my hats today, then took really dorky photographs of me wearing hats. So that cheered me up.

My cat is currently 'naked'-- his old collar finally wore out, but I'm not in a rush to replace it since he never goes outside. Not just 'I don't let him outside', he's afraid to go outside, so I don't worry about him running. I'll get him a new one eventually. After payday, I guess. Got a lot of the mats out of his coat from when I was on vacation and couldn't brush him every day. He is, of course, crushing my shoulder again because he thinks he's itty bitty. Still, the audio combination of cat purring and Meat Loaf is ensuring that my evening looks up.
>> US No. 9431
Yeah. Even on the chan, I've been feeling a little washed up. Sometimes I feel like I'm losin my touch. Or, worse, that I'm just a passing craze. It's silly to put so much hope in becoming a "big shot" on the chan or something (kinda like Kaz or KGB of drawing shit and Marty and Doktor of writing), but the sad truth is that you guys' opinions matter more to me than anyone else's at the moment.

Yeah. Going to my forever alone corner, now.

Eh. Thing is, I'm not sure the world works that way, Donny. Maybe is just me being an emo hipster or something - I don't know. But I doubt that if I wrote a full, original story today, that it'd make it to the best sellers' list. I just don't think I'm there yet. And even if I was "there", I'm still not sure it'd pay off. The world is sad sometimes.
>> US No. 9432
File 13146279096.jpg - (17.03KB , 497x355 , PICTUREUNRELATED_ORISIT.jpg )
>hankering to read old TF2 fics I wrote
>folder not found on computer
>check TF2chan archives
>fic not found
>> CA No. 9433

I'm sorry for your loss, but that is the best reaction shot I've ever seen.
>> DE No. 9434
I broke for a very important... (okay the most important person now in my life, because i really risk to break up with my family and all and i just tidied up my room a bit and if today would be christmas it would be a dang wonder) a promise i made myself. No damn webcam. Now i have one. ... And now i already dispear on the fucking functions and grrrrr. Bleeeh.
>> GB No. 9436
>Add a person I thought was nice.
>Instead of clicking ignore, he accepts, tells me to fuck off and deletes me.
>Off handedly tell my friend because Im a bit peeved about it.
>Some how I am acting like a child in all this, turns out she is friends with the guy as well and tells him.
>Have to leave the game cause I am more than angry now.

Really? REALLY?
>> GB No. 9437
Falling out with friends like a boss. WOO! Im gonna go shoot myself now.
>> DE No. 9438
two of my friends dont like each other.
one of them just exploded in front of me and told me that if im friends with an asshole, he can't be friends with me. the two don't even know each other well, they just assume the other is a dick.

i was trying to reconcile between them but that made it worse. im crying bitter tears right now because i don't need this shit in my life. i don't need it at all. i tried my best to help both of my friends whenever i could, was there for them, apologized for mistakes as best as i could, but still one of them throws tantrums at me. maybe he doesn't know how much energy i invested in him. maybe he doesn't care. i just feel like a baby because i'm crying crocodile tears over this.

i don't want to sound like a whiny bitch, but i honestly feel betrayed and treated like shit. i was there for this person as much as i could. when i couldn't be online as much as i used to i worried about this person a lot, considering i was apparently the only one they could talk to. i was happy to invite this person for a vacation at my place. now i think i should simply cut all ties with this person because no matter how shitty their own life is and how bad their own baggage is, i don't want to be treated like shit. it hurts too much.

sorry for this emotional vomit, chan.
>> GB No. 9439
No no, its not like you juct fucking shit all over me, scolded me like some god damn child or anything, repeated the same fucking mistakes that almost drove me to suicide before. You did none of that what so ever.
>> AU No. 9440
File 131464994913.jpg - (105.70KB , 357x400 , piss.jpg )
Okay, I can't stand by and watch anymore.
Every time something like this erupts, she's the one trying to help. She's the one who wants best for you, because you are her friend.
And every time she tries, you crack a wobbly (and yes, in this such instance, you are in fact acting like a juvenile) and you have no clue how much you hurt her in doing so. She does the things she does because she cares for your well-being. And you just go and abuse her!
I don't give a shit about your consistent suicide threats, by the way. You know why? Because, in all honesty, they sound like emotional blackmail.

Basically, you are repetitively hurting my friend (BECAUSE SHE'S TRYING TO HELP YOU!) and I will not stand for it.

You either accept her help or leave her alone.
>> GB No. 9441
Why don't ya butt out Sparky? So far, ye've heard one side of this story. Did I say I was suicidal this time? No. Did she start this whole thing by calling me a child? Yes.

As for "every time something like this happens" what, you mean twice now? God forbid someone make a mistake twice huh? Cause all your friends must be perfect. Also, how fucking dare you question if Im bein truthful or not, in the end, what do you really know about me? Fuck all, that's what, you don't know about my depression or my life, so don't for a second act like you do, the only person that really knows is Perry.
>> US No. 9442
>So far, ye've heard

I can't believe you type out your accent
>> GB No. 9443
RP habit.
>> DE No. 9444

I don´t like to see this either between the two! But it doesn´t gonna help if everyone is suddendly just jumping in and taking on sides of this! This is their argument. It´s a private thing between the two! You want to help? It ain´t helping if you start to attack than one or the other. It helps if you try to talk to them calmy, listen to them and than telling them your opinion and what maybe the other felt and where a communication problem occured. Stand by their sides, listen to them and try to be understandable for them and to help to nurse the wounds and don´t just pour oil in the fire.
If you charge one now, it just ends with more tears than it started.

This said i just hope you both get it somehow sorted out. If not, it is painfull, but we all shouldn´t just butt in this now and make out this a war.
>> DE No. 9445

This aside, i just wanted to aplogies right now for the swear words. Seems like i´m not this calm myself, either.
>> US No. 9446

I think perhaps you guys should discuss this outside of the chan and in private somewhere.

If that's all the same to you.
>> US No. 9447
File 131465446940.jpg - (118.72KB , 584x600 , whats-going-on-in-this-thread.jpg )

Changing the subject to good news, my cousin and his wife had a baby a few hours ago. Just saw pictures of her, and she is the cutest little thing ever. I don't even LIKE kids, by the way!

I can't wait til I meet her.
>> US No. 9448
Yay, baby! (I was the same way about not liking kids until my relatives started having little babies, too... but now I go all crazy over baby pictures...)
>> CA No. 9450
Babies rock.

My feelings. I had a good RP today, but a very tiny part of me wishes I hadn't done it now. That tiny part? The joint in my left index finger. Hurts like a bitch. Owww.
Also, Hurricane Irene was like, nowhere near as bad as people said it was going to be, at least in my neck of the woods. Some wind, some rain, and the barbecue cover came off, but otherwise nada.
It was a bright sunny day, today, actually. Pretty nice. All the mugginess finally left. Hurrah! Now my feet don't stick to the floorboard.
>> DE No. 9456
I deeply apologize for the emotional outrage on my side earlier. Things got talked about and cleared up, so stuff is happier again.

Planning on trying to go to school despite my cold. Here's hoping I can do practice + lessons and pay attention enough to remember it afterwards. It's my job, after all!
>> DE No. 9457
File 131471211859.jpg - (19.68KB , 184x200 , Feels bad man.jpg )
Disregard the school thing. I tried, but I already started to feel faint on the way to the subway station. Godfuckingdamnit.
>> GB No. 9458
Ack, guess I was wrong. Maybe some high sugar foods will help give ya energy. Other than that though, rest and relaxation for ye lass.
>> DE No. 9459
File 131471654581.png - (31.00KB , 337x264 , tumblr_lhf25t1sIe1qafrh6.png )
Thanks for your care. I think I will see a doctor to get a receipt for school and maybe some medication in case tea and rest haven't taken care of things until the end of the week. Until then, I will just study my school notes. Hopefully I'll catch up with things again! MOTIVATION, HERE I COME
>> US No. 9460
File 131471662544.jpg - (80.13KB , 774x666 , celtictriforce2.jpg )
It makes me super happy when you type in your accent.

In other news, just started looking at tattoo designs for what will likely be my only tattoo. I wanted something that plays to my roots, so I know I want something Celtic, but I've always wanted a nerdy tattoo too, which leads me to most likely get this one here. Celtic Triforce, oh yeah!

I saw a Celtic knot Hylian Crest too, and I'd get that instead... if Scoutpapa wasn't so against tattoos.
>> DE No. 9461
File 131471719383.jpg - (35.29KB , 443x500 , FUCK YEAH ash.jpg )
I demand pictures once you have it!
>> US No. 9466
I'd willingly RP/talk with people as well, but I'm kind of hesitant to un-anon.
>> CA No. 9477
File 131474108543.jpg - (81.41KB , 424x283 , bored_boy.jpg )
University, please hurry up.

I've only worked Saturdays for about 2 months now, and D&D is more often than not cancelled.

I loll around reading (sometimes bad) vampire books, listening to music, scribbing half-arsed ideas for RP and fics, and once in a while cracking open a video game that I'm only half interested in. The only person I communicate with on a regular basis is my best friend, who is having a seriously lethargic stretch, to the point of being exhausted day in day out and not feeling up to writing together or enthusing about anything.

Of course, once University rolls around - my Fall Semester full of math-related courses... (I hate math), I'll wonder where the hell all my time is going.

I'd really, just for a while, like to be able to achieve some semblance of balance. To have time for friends and hobbies, but never be without something consuming and entertaining to do - whether that's chemistry homework, watching documentaries, marathoning L4D, or mucking about outside. More often than not, I feel chained to this computer for lack of anything else to do.

It's beautiful outside. Why don't I go for a walk?
>> DE No. 9481
Hi chan,
remember as i said all my sorrows and guilty feelings about this one guy? Yes?
Well today around the midday i got a SMS of him.
If i may help him to get a beater for him, because else he couldn´t get online. I should send it to his adress. Necessary before the last mail is collected.

The mature thing: Saying him, i´m sorry, but because i don´t see him as friend anymore, i´m not willing to spend this money for him.

The immature thing which i did: Blantly ignore the SMS.

And i feel tired and a bit left alone.
>> US No. 9483
Hey. Awkward situation here.

Someone who bullied me quite a bit while I was in high school is in one of my upper level courses that I absolutely cannot drop. She decided to sit right next to me and start up a conversation, and basically established that things have not changed at all since high school. She's just as abusive as before, and I fall back into my role as victim very easily.

Not too sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation. Shit, didn't know what I was supposed to do in high school either. It's that special kind of psychological bullying that's hard to explain and hard to prove. As in, she's already told the other people in the class to avoid me, and this class is nothing but group work.

>> GB No. 9484
Bullying can happen any where, to anyone regardless of location and age, and if reported, will be dealt with seriously, which is the thing you need to do. Reporting this to a lecturer or a higher up should bring this to a close, do not be embarrassed to tell someone about it as they should, and will, understand.

If, however, this doesn't work, I would recommend getting to know your class mates before she can force a big enough gap between you and them. In college and uni, people tend to be a bit more aware of peoples shitty attitudes, so proving this girl wrong in their eyes should be a lot easier than in high school.
>> CA No. 9485
File 131475785324.gif - (470.42KB , 499x263 , tumblr_lnjm2dKum81qg39ewo1_500.gif )

Respond with snarky, sarcastic comments to give her something to think about and hopefully annoy her.

Or move spots, ignore her and avoid any conflict from her. If she doesn't get the message, flat out tell her you want nothing to do with her and her bull.
>> DE No. 9495
Mostly what Donny already said. Try to get into a better contact with your classmates. Be nice and yourself and try your best, if you work together with them. People love other people who are giving their best in a workgroup.
They will soon see for themself which of you two is the better one.

And if the snarky, sarcastic comment thing isn´t working for you. Try the nice sarkastic innocent number. Nothing more confusing for bullies than to play with them along.
>> US No. 9497
BTW, we love you. Just thought I'd mention it, is all.
Stay strong, girl.
>> US No. 9513
/probably don't lurk enough to post here
I have a bit of a self-control problem:
for example, I'll be reading a book, but need to be playing violin, but I can't put down the book, even though it's boring and I've read it ten times before.
Also I procrastinate a lot. I keep thinking I'll change and want to do work later, but don't.
Is this some kind of problem, and how to I cure it?
>> CA No. 9515
My mom loves these potato straw things we buy from costco, 'cause they're cheesy and delicious. Unfortunately, they come in a big box with veggie flutes, and veggie chips with sea salt, neither of which she likes. My dad likes the flutes, but doesn't eat them much, and I decided today that I would try the veggie chips.

DEAR GOD. I am never going back to Pringles. These things are fucking delicious.
>> US No. 9516
aw yeah man, veggie chips
>> CA No. 9517
Don't, then! Hit me up with an email if you want, I'm up for pretty much anything.
>> US No. 9521
  I've been having an insane roller-coaster of highs and lows lately. Right now, I'm on an upswing. GONNA GO TRY TO BAG ME A JAWB WHILE I'M LIKE THIS FUCK YEEEAH

Also, RPing with Izzy has been so fun lately! I need to get together with stubs like I said I would (and will, but just keep on forgetting like a dorp).
>> US No. 9522
File 131488573743.gif - (231.04KB , 200x161 , ExplodingHead.gif )
Welp, it didn't take very long for me to start feeling like crap again, loool.

Pretty sure I'm not getting a job from there. They seem to only be hiring for cake decorators, and though I have a little informal training with a cousin of mine that runs an independent business, I don't think I'm what they're looking for.

Sucks because they're really close by and pay well, too.




Wow, I think it's about time I take my meds. hrmmm.
>> CA No. 9524
I'm glad I've been fun! It's been fun for me too.

And I hope you feel better, soon.
>> US No. 9525
Chin up, everything'll get better! And yeah, speaking from experience the only places who want inexperienced cake decorators are independent businesses. Yes, local food store, I know how to ice a cake in ten minutes, why you so stupid?
>> CA No. 9527
Say, did you get msn yet? I AM A FAGGOT HUMP MY RUMP Atm the lack of connectivity over msn has been the only thing stopping it from happening.
Or AIM. Either one's good for me. But yeah, email's the same as the one I've been using to email you.
>> US No. 9528
File 131492181015.jpg - (8.12KB , 184x184 , wtf.jpg )
Constant fatigue. Muscle pain. Unending weakness. Joint pain. Unrelenting headaches. Mind fog. Unexplained fevers. Nausea, dizziness and light sensitivity every minute of every day, steadily getting worse. And the doctors can't figure out what's wrong with me.

I am so sick of this. I can't function anymore.
>> US No. 9529
I hope your health gets better, or that you can at least get a diagnosis so they can start looking into possible treatments.

That sounds kind of like what my little sister went through-- she got fibromyalgia when she was nine, the doctors kept not even considering it because 'that's an old lady disease'.
>> US No. 9530
I can't believe I spent 2 years in community college and there's still holes in my list of credits to transfer. I'm starting to feel like this was a horrible idea.
>> US No. 9532
File 131493945997.jpg - (31.74KB , 338x450 , 128953564584890631.jpg )

Highland games this Saturday and I am all excite to finally wear my new kilt in public. Feels awesome to find out I'm part Scottish in me earlier this year thanks to my father hunting down family history.
>> US No. 9535
Ugh. Was sick in bed all day, and now my brain is all foggy and I can't write. I write every day, not being able to is seriously driving me nuts, you guys.

And I feel bad for not having new chapters, and I need to have a new D&D campaign ready to go by tomorrow night and be able to DM... I've got a lot done for it, I just worry that I'll be mentally out of it and a bad DM, or that I'll mess up on something important or forget my maps again...
>> PL No. 9538
Prepare for upcoming bitching, I need to vent.

So I got B from my diploma (12 paintings, 100x70cm, acrylic). Because those assholes were constantly contradicting themselves, even if earlier I clearly stated everything they were nitpicky about. Like, I said that the main reason that I picked these was because I wanted to show the atmosphere of whole level, that I didn’t want to paint everything exactly like it was on the screen - and this one bitch said that the screenshots look better. Bitch, because a whole bunch of people worked on these for 10 years. And then she says that an artist shouldn’t copy what he sees. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND.

I worked almost non stop on these, gained weight because of that, had been depressed for a month and a half (I said that earlier to the main professor, and now he’s all ‘oh you should’ve shown me these more often’. Jerkface)… They asked stupid things, and generally said that the way I finished these wasn’t good enough base to work on. And some other girls who painted with 3 colors and simple shapes got A’s. And of course the main professor had to pick up the worst paintings for the exhibition.

Also they said that my overall performance with grades isn’t the best. Sure, I know that my grades in the first year aren’t that good because I had issues with myself and because overall situation wasn’t that good that year, but in the second and third year I had almost 90% of A’s! And they wanted me to go for the master’s. Bitch, I don’t want to have anything to do with your goddamn stupid school anymore.

And I seriously thought how it’d be if I jumped from that 4th floor then and offed myself.

My eyes are swollen and idk if I feel better or not. I need a sign that this whole thing is worth it.
>> CA No. 9540
All I can say is 'Don't Jump'. Those assholes aren't worth it.
And if someone is truly dedicated and hard-working, and a good artist, then someone, somewhere, will eventually recognize it, even if the people in front of them right now are incompetent asshats.
>> US No. 9542
File 131497842881.jpg - (49.62KB , 500x300 , 313818_10150278145885674_559925673_7600605_5769062.jpg )
Just got back after having five days without electricity. Been having to take bathe in a bucket. Hurricane Irene really hit us hard and caused the neighbor's 100ft black walnut tree to uproot and crash down on the garage and also crush everything in the vegetable garden.

Spent two days cleaning up the aftermath of the mess, and have managed to drain an absess in my thigh, an infection went bad since I couldn't wash a cut out because we had no running water. Also lost some cold and frozen foods, but no big deal.

What goes around will come around. Instead of talking to me personally you chose to voice a private matter between us right here, which is a big no-no. You cut off your own nose despite your face and now you're trying to make yourself look good. Also, my choice is my choice, please respect it. But you don't know what that choice is now, do you? No, you don't.
>> GB No. 9543
No, what happened was you basically tried to say I was a liar in all this, claiming everything you told me was false and I merely tried to get a feel for what ever it is you perceive as being the lie here. You're the one that fed me the info, its not my fault if you lied about it and now wished you could take it back, that isn't an excuse to claim I have no idea what I'm talking about, which if it is true, is only because you lied to me.

As for talking to you personally, I tried to do that, on several occasions, over the course of several weeks, on steam and skype, but for whatever reason you decided to ignore me. Maybe its because we had talked about it before and we had agreed that several things would be a very silly thing to do, which you have now done.

So tell me, did I over react when I deleted someone from my contacts list who spins more than a Dreidel at Hanukkah? Someone I thought was becoming a close friend who just started ignoring me for no reason? Someone who I was trying to help by being there who kept pushing me away? Sounds like a gigantic waste of time to me and quite frankly, there are many more people who deserve help that will accept it when its offered instead of ignoring that person and then calling them a liar when the vent about it. As for your choice, I am truly beyond the point of caring, because you certainly didn't care for my opinion to begin with.
>> GB No. 9544
Also, the saying is "cut your own nose off to spite your face" not despite, but hey if you want to try and explain yer recent behaviour, ye know my steam/skype
>> US No. 9545
File 131498760928.gif - (496.56KB , 250x188 , tumblr_lmz9tjFMqc1qc7tep.gif )
I didn't even know that Donny's post was about you at all until you mentioned it, and I don't think most other people were aren't involved would either. So don't blame Donny for dragging whatever issue you two have into public when you're the one that did exactly that.

Feelings time: it's the first week of teaching in my entire life, and I feel like the worst teacher even and that I'm letting down my students. I think this feeling is supposed to be normal or something, though?
>> CA No. 9547
guys. really. this seems more like a private matter. Shouldn't you guys talk about this privately instead of flooding the chan with drama?

ANYWAY. feelings. Getting ready to go back to school. Nervous as hell.
>> CA No. 9548
Amen to the first, and to the second, frankly, I'm jealous.

I hear all my friends going back to school, and I'm just sitting here all 'Yup. No job. No friends. What do.'
I wanna go back to school. The first BA bankrupted me (not literally, but I have about 300 dollars to my name, at the moment, so close enough), and I don't know what I want to do next, I just...

I WANT TO LEARN. And keep learning! And never stop! I love to leeeeearn!

Of course then I tell my friends this, and they usually respond with 'WTF is wrong with you?' because they all hate school for reasons I can never understand, because my last year I had literally nothing but English classes and it was AWESOME.

New feelings. Was in the middle of a super-fun roleplay. Mom calls up, tells me a store in the mall is hiring. So I have to stop RPing, go bathe, scour the house for two sheets of paper so I can print out my resume, and wait for dad to come drive me.
Damnit. I was having fun, and now I have to go do things I don't want. I know I need to do them, but I don't want to, and it makes me mad a little that I have to live life as a semi-productive adult.

Damn life, gettin' in the way of mah roleplayin.
>> CA No. 9549
Please do. And by please do I mean what on gods green earth are you guys doing because it seems pretty ridiculous. This isn't the place to be airing such grievances.

And, seconded. I hope the netbook I bought proves to be useful during my spares, it sure cost enough.
>> US No. 9550
Well I fucked up in school again and had a little breakdown, but thank goodness for my Mom. Despite the stupid shit I've done she still loves me. Gonna try and pull out of my hole to graduate next year.

On a happier note I saw the Captain America movie and liked it. Had a definite ladyboner for Mr. Weaving in that uniform.
>> GB No. 9552
File 131500238757.jpg - (11.77KB , 225x140 , albanosmbss225.jpg )
>> US No. 9553
File 131500241073.jpg - (10.44KB , 480x360 , 4CWL2Svln3oPT.jpg )
>> US No. 9554
File 131500307147.jpg - (160.36KB , 576x720 , 4014.jpg )
>> US No. 9557
School's going great but I'm still crying myself to sleep every night.

>> US No. 9564
File 131501993896.png - (349.78KB , 800x800 , PokerFace.png )
So I went to a con a couple of weeks ago as Portal 2 Chell and I made a picture of my cosplay my Facebook picture. My friend came up to me and told me how much she loved my Heavy picture. She thought that because I had a "big gun" in the picture I was a Heavy.
>Loved my Heavy picture
>We havn't spoken since
>> US No. 9565
Why is it that when I find myself with both my parents all I can feel is how I don't belong here? This move has worn me out but still everything is telling me to get away. It's to the point that I seriously consider becoming homeless wandering vagabond. It would be better than being here and these people are supposedly the only people I have. And that's just pathetic.
>> US No. 9566
File 131503095936.jpg - (4.61KB , 316x160 , purplegamingdice.jpg )
D&D went well, even though I only had one of my guys. He got to do some solo adventuring, at least, and discovered some of the more in-depth stuff I've been setting up.

Well, D&D went well except that this lady who is not a part of the game but was attending to her own business in a different part of the same building came by and touched my dice. It's like she touched my soul. Okay, okay, not really that melodramatic, but still, it bothered me. I mean, basic courtesy dictates you don't just touch someone's stuff. Even I know that, and I clearly have no social skills.

Still not sure if guy friend and I are flirting or not...

Anyway, hugs, all. May your lives improve and whatnot.
>> GB No. 9573
File 131504062770.jpg - (32.76KB , 388x384 , crycry.jpg )
I hate waking up with a hangover fully clothed in bed with a text message saying what a whiny drunk git I am

Goddamnit, I am too young for alcoholism
>> US No. 9590
Totally understandable. I've had my dice for around ten years now, and I would probably flip my shit if someone touched them, even people in my group. It throws off your dice's mojo.
>> US No. 9592
I got rejected by someone I've liked for over a year, and now I don't know what to do with myself. There was even a time I didn't do myself in just because I wanted to see him again. It just solidifies the fact I'm going to be alone my whole life. Plus I found out I have to go to my favorite con alone, too. Fun.
>> US No. 9597
Any fitness people here? I'm going to start a strength routine to lose weight and tone myself along with a diet, but I need some advice from someone that knows what they're talking about.

Feelings thread because I'm frustrated as hell that I'm getting different advice from different people and I don't know who the fuck to believe anymore.
>> GB No. 9598
Yo, depends on what yer main goal is. Is the muscle and fat aimed to be evenly worked on?
>> US No. 9599
There will be other people. Also remember the friends/family you have in your life! As for going to the con alone, look at the bright side: you're completely free to go where you want, when, etc without making sure someone else is fine with it. Hell I like going shopping alone for that very reason! I'm sure you'll meet plenty of people there to talk to.
>> US No. 9603
I have had an after-taste of jalapeños for the past few days. It is getting really annoying because I hate jalapeños.
>> US No. 9605

I want to cut my fat the most, and then build muscle to tone myself so I don't look like a flabby chickenskin butt.

I have a routine set up so far

3x8 Bench Press at 45lbs
3x5 squats
1x8 deadlifts of 55lbs

3 times a week

That along with a calorie intake of 1300 per day. That's about 500 less then I need to stay at the same weight I am at the moment.

I've been trying to get solid advice but I've just been getting a bunch of different options and opinions without anyone explaining WHY it will or won't work. It's frustrating as hell. Mind you I have a 2-floor university gym at my disposal that I can go to for free.
>> CA No. 9606
My only dietary recommendation is to avoid sugar unless it's combined with fibre - for instance, fruits are okay.
Once sugar hits your liver, whatever your body doesn't use up right away for energy is basically turned straight into fat. Obviously it's more particular than that, but I'm not sure anyone wants a cellular lecture on something when I'm only familiar with the basics.
Pop is bad. Juice almost worse (concentrated and with added sugars, etc). When you've just worked out, drink a little milk to help retain muscle mass. I've also read papers about it helping cut fat. I'm not sure about that (I've never tried to lose weight) but over a period of time it has helped my rotary cuff muscles after physio.
I'd really also be careful about this caloric intake. You don't want to be tuckering yourself out because your body is working harder and being fed less. Basic stuff. And, this is obvious, but I always like to say it anyways - make sure to keep hydrated. If you're under hydrated (and most people are, to some degree) then your liver has to work harder because it's working for itself (fat into energy) and working for the kidneys (which really need hydration to work).
tl;dr - Avoid sugar, drink milk after working out, drink more water.
>> US No. 9608
Is good day-- mostly. My sister's birthday, so we went out to her favourite places to do a little shopping/dining. Fun, except for when I almost ruined birthday dinner by having a complete breakdown (over-crowded restaurant, little kid just shrieking and wailing when I went into the bathroom... combo of things I don't handle well. But, pulled self together after a bit of hyperventilating and knuckle biting, and a guy cleared off a better table for us, which made things easier)

Wound up buying four books, because we went to a Borders going-out-of-business sale (okay, one of the books I got at Super Jo-Ann's, the Geek Craft book-- also got some supplies for doing nerdy fandomy cross stitch projects...), and at Toys R Us, I got Adventure Time figurines. Cannot wait to get those babies set up on my bookshelf.

Anyway, she had a nice time, got presents. So that's the important thing. Now I'm kind of exhausted.

Well, luckily I have two other sets... I can't find the ones I have which actually look like the picture I used... somewhere around the house, I have a purple set that has never been molested. I've got a red-speckled white set that's similarly unmolested, I can just make those my 'main' dice for now... The poor besmirched set can be my 'loaner' dice for when friends without their own dice join the group...
>> AU No. 9609
>hey son we want to buy a house for you to rent off of us
that sounds nice, but i'd rather not have something that big that you can hold over my head forever
>but we'd never do that

that looks ok, but i want to get some bookshelves to go there. and i'd want a bigger desk than that
>and so on every time i raised an objection

>> DE No. 9610
Somehwere on the chan we already had a big discussion about this. I just don´t know anymore where, because it became a really helpfull thread. Aurora-Storm said already mcuh good advices and tips, but i need to add something. It´s right, that to lose weight it is first advisable not to drink something like cola or juices on a daily basis, but to drink much water. But what i would like to add, that you still can drink juices, if they are natural and without added sugar (still be carefull), you just need to look more on the drinks you are going to buy. A tip which my teacher once gave me was not just to drink water, if you are working out. It´s better to add some natural juices to it, best would be 1:3. Best would be apple juice. If you have some juice in it you give your body back all the minerals and vitamins you are sweating out through your skin while doing sport.

About dieting. It gives many cooking books about healthy food. But which would be the most trusting cooking books are these which are made from health insurance companies. Because they want to keep you fit and healthy to not pay for you later.

To your trainings programm, it sounds good to build up some musles at first, but you should after 2 weeks add more weight to it or make more of them. But this are mostly for building up muscles than, to lose weight you need to make endurance training, too. Start with 15 minutes to get your bloodstream to flow and than you can train a bit afterwards. I would recommend that after you run three times for 15 minutes you start to run longer. Like 17 minutes. Just keep it up than to increase at a 2 minutes cyclus.

Good advice: Don´t be frustarted if it doesn´t shows in your eyes results after 2 months by losing weight. Every body is different, which is the reason why some need more time. If you keep up the training, it will show results sooner or later. (Says someone who just sees results after 1 year of exercising again. But fuck, if they 17lbs and a boosted self-esteem aren´t worth it.)
>> US No. 9612
Hah parents man... Keep reminding them that it was -their- idea. You never asked for it, though you appreciate it.
>> DE No. 9615
> Getting giddy about thing i plan for quite some time in October.
> Trying to get everything together for it
> Counting the days until it happens
> Seeing how less weeks it is until i´m 21
> Fuuu....

I still battle with me what to do on this day. Maybe i will invite all my friends to bowling or we go to the cinema. Just so that i´m distracted of the fact, that i´m older again and didn´t do anything i wanted to do. Or i hoped what would happen.

tl;dr: Down, because i´m getting OLD and i´m still a loser. (FYI i stooped celebrating my birthday since i became 18.)
>> CA No. 9616
THEY SELL ADVENTURE TIME FIGURINES AT TOYS R US? My best friend will fling herself at me and make out with me if I get her those for her birthday!
Exactly as planned.

Feeeeelings: my social life just moved away yesterday. One half went to Ottawa, six hours away, and the other half went to North Bay, four hours away. Sigh. Feel like I'm in such a rut - all I ever do is work. I know my time will come, but it feels like forever before I'll can afford to go to university and have fun adventures.
Go faster, time.
>> CA No. 9617
Somebody hire me. Right fucking now.

I want money, goddamnit.

Almost 20 resumes out since June, and NOTHING. Seriously.
>> US No. 9618
>Get surgery to remove mysterious scar tissue from lobe
>Stitches in ears
>5 days later, infection plus at least two torn stitches

Tell me what do guys
>> US No. 9623
>> US No. 9624
File 131518040627.jpg - (119.16KB , 600x294 , medic play doctor again.jpg )

First off, clean the infection thoroughly. Once it's cleaned out with antiseptic soap/gel/foam/whatever that eats bacteria like a boss, either go back to your doctor to have them fixed the stitches or if you are brave enough and can endure the pain, hand sew with a clean needle and a cotton thread that will dissolve over time (or will slip through easily leaving behind tiny holes that will seal up over time). Then I'd gauze strip and medical tape that bad boy like a ear muff, and just for good measure if you fear infection to return again, change the bandages every other day or so until your ear heals up enough to remove this gauze "pocket".

Good luck to ya. Hope this suggestion gives some help, no one likes having ripped stitches or any sort of infections!
>> US No. 9626
File 131518241339.jpg - (229.12KB , 580x480 , 129556330374.jpg )
Feeling pretty stoic today.
>> US No. 9629
I cleaned it pretty thoroughly with hydrogen peroxide and put some antibiotic ointment on afterwards. It was really just a minor infection. The irritation is gone. I don't think I'll be able to bandage them though, so keeping them clean is my only option. Luckily, the wound is pretty tiny, and healed pretty quickly so the stitches don't seem to be much of an issue. Seeing the surgeon again in a week, so he'll tell me if I truly fucked up or not.
>> CA No. 9637
I cried while roleplaying tonight.

Intense shit, man. Bawled like a baby.

But it feels good. Catharsis, man. Love it.
>> US No. 9639
File 131520155218.png - (3.04KB , 137x143 , 1311270486403.png )
Got banned for spamming on /a/ even though I actually wasn't and when I appealed my ban they denied it. And right as my favorite anime of the season is about to end. Fucking lame.
>> AU No. 9641
File 131521975425.jpg - (2.30KB , 119x127 , blackbooks.jpg )
I'm about to be homeless lol.

In honesty, I'm only half-sad about this. This feels like an opportunity to:
-Get the hell away from my housemates
-Finally lodge my change of name
-Change to a better bank
-Take some short barista courses
-Maybe even book a therapist idk
>> US No. 9642
File 131522951330.jpg - (19.29KB , 200x202 , LOLcat Outlaw.jpg )
I have a really ridiculous case of, "This Chan ain't big enough fer th'two of us" going on in my psycho brain ATM, lol.

Call it a lack of maturity - I sure will. For some reason, I tend to see dorping around on the chan as a competition of, "LOL, WHO CAN BE THE BEST AT XYZ" or, "LOL WHO CAN GET THE MOST COMMENTS IN THEIR THREAD."

Seriously, self. I thought I left that ridiculous way of thinking back at DeviantfART, but I always find myself subconsciously checking things like that and getting REALLY RETARDEDLY UPSET when I write an update, and it doesn't get very many comments. (Which is doubly ridiculous since I tend to be a lurkerfag, myself, on the art boards).

Can't imagine why I'm getting this nagging feeling or why it won't go away. In the past it's actually been a pretty good thing - spurring me to write better and faster for long stretches of time so that I could stay "on top". But now it's more of an inconvenience than anything else - it's gotten to the point where I've burned myself out, like, twice, because I was SO OBSESSED WITH MAKING SURE NO ONE FORGOT ABOUT MEEE, and then I start feeling ashamed about even paying attention to something so cosmetic, especially to the point where I'm wearing myself out because of it, and then comes the depression and then auugtjrvglkewwvgg;le.

It's hugely embarrassing, to say the least. Most embarrassing is that I've been making totally unfounded and unreasonable "grudges" against some of my "competition" to the point that I'll start furiously writing just to undermine the fact that they just updated. I'd never let myself get to the point of flaming, especially since everyone on this site is just SO NICE, and I'd never forgive myself if I did, but still. It's just an ugly way of thinking that I don't think belongs on the site.

Anyone else kinda get feelings like this sometimes? I'd feel super bad if it turned out it was only me having these psycho thoughts.
>> DE No. 9643
This isn´t in any way psycho thought. But what i am talking about? My past self was a furiously nerd to get better grades than my friends at school. Anyway just so you know, i love your writing and i´m ever pleased if you update and the only reason why i don´t spam you full is this thought: Oh no, i´m than the only one there in the thread than and i put much pressure on her and this isn´t good. Living up to the expections of people, is really hard. But anyway... wheren´t you the one who started a glorious fanfiction on my request which never got finished? Just you know... I´m still waiting. (Noooo pressure. Pff.)
>> US No. 9646

Nothing wrong with a competitive spirit. I'm pretty sure most people have it. I have it sometimes, but I've pretty much given up the need to be the most recognized artist/writer of all things Soldier/Engineer because I realized in the long run, it's not an accomplishment I want to running my life. I paid my dues to the fandom, and now there's other stellar creators finishing up something I helped start 2 years ago.

When your competitive feelings are starting to cause depression, though, then it's be time to scale yourself back a bit. Remember that this is all in good fun, that you and your "competitors" are still working toward a common goal of giving the chan content, and that, sadly, it's still just the internet. The chan is still just one pond in a whole ocean. You should be taking things from fandom as an experience and practice for your endeavors beyond it.

If you find yourself depressed because you aren't the most praised writer on a website, then you need to step back for a bit and remember why you write BEYOND being the best. Rediscover the love you find in the actual process of writing, because you cannot always count on your audience being around to boost your ego with comments. Remember to write for YOU, and not just for other people. It's okay to use the competitive nature to drive you through, but it should never be the sole reason with things like writing because there is so much more to it.

So give yourself a bit of a break and go back to basics and I'm sure you'll come back with something channes will want to talk about.
>> US No. 9647
Aw, thanks so much for that. I tried to get higher grades than my friends, too. OH GOD, I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE LIKE THIS AAAUGH.

And, um... Yeah, I think I was! The Engie/Sniper/Pyro thing? FUCK - I NEED TO DO MORE ON THAT.

Thanks again for not judging - I was a little scared to admit to being so vain on the Chan, but we're all friends here.
>> US No. 9648
>go to family cookout yesterday
>aunt gives me trashbag full of clothes
>"They're hand-me-downs from your grandfather once removed's new girlfriend from California"
>dear sweet god they must be granny clothes

Nope! I ended up scoring a Joker tshirt, two tanktops, a hipster shirt covered in glitter (so what? it's nautical themed), a pair of black jeans that is two sizes smaller than what I usually wear but somehow fits, a bohemian tshirt, and a pair of pajama pants.

On top of that, there were three scrub items I'm regifting to a friend who's in nursing school.

Man, I like free clothes. Especially when I just sent four trashbags of secondhand to Goodwill on saturday.
>> US No. 9651
File 131524986897.jpg - (20.33KB , 407x405 , memes-your-body-temp-degrees-why-not.jpg )
Your grandma must've been the fucking chillest grandma in the existence of ever.

Just sayin'.

Oh, fuck - didn't see this til just now (cause we ended up posting only seconds apart, lol).

I think you're totally right. Depression and anxiety (I have abandonment issues which might leak on my relationship with my readers) are things I've always struggled with in life. I turned to writing to help manage my feelings in healthier ways, but it seems too much of a good thing can always become a bad thing.

I guess the reason why I'm so hung up about stupid little fandom stuff is because I relate how I do on the chan almost directly with how I might do if I ACTUALLY (God willing!) decide to publish.

Only worse and in a horrible spiral of hate and contempt because I know the real world is a lot tougher.



etc etc etc.

Don't get me wrong. I like writing for writing. I fucking love it, in fact. But the reason I decided to get serious about it wasn't just because I liked it. I always felt like a had some huge story to share with the world, yanno? Don't know what it is yet, but in the meanwhile, everything I'm doing is practice - just laying the groundwork. But the object of the game isn't just to TELL the story - people have to listen, too.

People have lives. I can see the Chan is slowing down a lot due to people starting up their schoolinz again or taking last minute vacations or being with their family, etc etc etc. I know that this "competition" is just friendly and we're all in the same boat. But for some reason, KNOWING all this doesn't translate well into my gut, where it's all turmoil and, "OH MY GOD NO - EVERYONE'S FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME - GOTTA DO SOMETHING QUICK."

I told you guys I have issues.

But, yeah. I think I will take you up on your advice and take a break. Did it once before and it helped a lot - I guess I just feel bad that it has to come to that in the first place. Kind of like guilt. Like, "Augh, wtf is wrong with me - It's not that big of a deal!"

Fucking brain. I hate you.
>> DE No. 9652
File 131525591072.png - (69.18KB , 400x400 , Approving Soldier.png )
Do all of these things and don't look back. My sincerest wishes for your luck!
>> CA No. 9653
Walked with mom for half an hour today.

Now my ass muscles are twitching.

This does not please me.
>> US No. 9658
You would not make a good gay man.
>> US No. 9660
Why are all of my friends getting married and having babies so young? We only graduated last year. I feel like I'm the only one of my friends who never wants kids. When I told one of them that, they told me "you'll change your mind.". It's a bit hard connecting with them now, because all they want to talk is their babies, and I think babies are a bit creepy really.
>> No. 9661
I feel like the exact opposite- having kids and getting married are the only things I've never felt hesitant on in my life, and I'm afraid to have them because I feel like all of my friends despise children and/or relationships, and if I do, I worry they'll all never speak to me again.

But kids are not required to have a happy life. And if you like kids, but not babies, there's always adoption.
>> US No. 9662
I know how you feel. I'm kind of creeped out by babies and the whole process of creating one... incubating it inside you like some kind of horrifying alien parasite. Some of my friends had babies REALLY young, and a couple other friends had them older, but it still feels early to me, and every time someone says 'You can hold him/her!', I back away with my hands up like they're pointing a gun at me...

(I'm not creeped out by the babies of relatives, mostly because my cousins who are having kids are older than me a bit, have had time to settle down and be ready for them... and then my aunt finally had an adoption come through after so many fell apart, and he's a little sweetheart, I love him to pieces, I just never... hold him. So for my family's sake, I'm glad I'm not creeped out by my relatives' babies, but other babies still freak me out something awful.)

And, on non-baby notes...

The Good: I got a new hat! It looks kind of like the Vintage Tyrolean, it makes me want to cosplay Medic, but even if I never do, I love hats. Like, beyond reason. Hats are my thing. So I'm happy about that.

The Bad: Been feeling a little sick, and weirdly overheated. Am I underhydrated? I probably am. Summer... grr. Gonna drink more water and hope my headache clears up, I guess.
>> CA No. 9666
I'm writing to an inmate in a Kentucky prison. This man has done something absolutely horrible and I full understand just how horrible it is.

Am I naive for thinking that there's a bit of good in everyone and that someone like this might be less likely to re-offend later if he has a vent for his issues through letters to me?

Maybe it's just hopeful thinking, but the letter is mailed either way.
>> US No. 9668
That's incredibly sweet. TBH, I don't think it will change much, but it's always worth a try.
>> CA No. 9670
>In the middle of an awesome roleplay
>Power suddenly and inexplicably goes out for half the entire city for six hours.

>> PL No. 9676
Hey, thanks, I appreciate that. I still feel kinda bad, because this field is very competitive, and even if someone says 'that looks great', two other people will say that it's a complete shit. Like Refined there, I see that it's really hard to get noticed and there are at least 10 people just from here who have a distinct style that is more pleasing and interesting for the viewers/possible buyers. It's a lot more disproportionate irl. If I won't learn anything new in the new school, I'm already assuming that I'm gonna be homeless and jobless in 10 years lol.

I just like to look at the bad side and be pleasantly surprised rather than severely disappointed.

At least my dad is working on a book that covers every major city that's going to host Euro 2012. About time he got recognized. But writing about traveling is something that people always look for.
>> US No. 9677
I think you'll be alright. Even if you have to get a deskjob before you can get lots of monies selling art, I think something will work out for you!

Have you thought about starting a webcomic? Maybe that'll get people pulled in by your work, and later on, you can ask for donations, etc to help you out? The best example of a success story I can think of right off the bat would have to be Tyson Hesse, the illustrator for the great Boxer Hocky! ( http://boxerhockey.fireball20xl.com/ )

He decided to get a kickstart fund going to help him make a transition into comic-ing for realsies.

The result? He got over $20.5K in the span of two weeks from all of his highly supportive fans!

So maybe while you're doing art IRL, you could start something online to build up a fan base, and they might help you out later on! It's worth a shot!


Borrowed my friend's copy of Pokemon White for a bit. Started a new game without erasing the last one because that'd kinda be a douche move.



Also, my computer continues to spew hate and rage at me. I am certain it will not last til the end of the year. PLEASE LORD, HELP ME GET A JAWB. I NEED (okay, want, but still) A NEW COMPUTER SO MUCH. I PROMISE TO WORK SO HARD - I DOOOO, PLEEEASE.
>> US No. 9679
I've done 6 job applications and finally got in contact with the local Air Force recruiter. I feel productive, and also amused that Air Force apparently responds better to communication via computers than phone.
>> DE No. 9680
I shouldn´t have took that one nap. Really. Now i feel warm and i smell as... well this sweet -slept to long- smell. Which is rather nice, but somehow i don´t feel comfortable with this smell.

And i´m listening to two favourite songs of mine. She wants Revenge: Suck it up and Holidays. WEIRD MIX OF FEELINGS! Okay maybe not really weird mix, because if i add something divide it and than give x to it the same results out...
>> CA No. 9684
fuck you staff. just. fuck you.

You give us 2 weeks break (look at my summer break. THIS IS ALL IT WAS) Where i did nothing at all. Nothing, nada, zip. Then, 4 days before the next semester starts you give us a proposal assignment, making us choosing our final piece and making the proper reference sheet within 4 fucking days. We had 2 weeks where we did nothing. could you not have just given us the assignment at the end of last semester? Apparently not.

Oh, it's worth 15% of our final grade and we have to present it in front of the entire class.
>> CA No. 9685
My wisdom teeth are perfectly healthy, and not impacted in any way, shape, or form.

AND THEY STILL FUCKING HURT. Jesus Christ! How do the people with screwy wisdoms LIVE WITH IT?!
Feels like I wanna rip the left side of my jaw out.
>> DE No. 9687
File 131537615798.png - (76.04KB , 220x238 , Freakout Spy.png )
Sleeping schedule is royally fucked up, body still won't function normally, school is putting more weight on me.

>> CA No. 9690
I'm taking conversational French at the community college, and my placement interview is tonight. They'll tell me how bad I suck.

I took French in every year of my public schooling, including three of immersion, and one advanced class in University.

And I'm just worried that I'm going to walk in there, and forget the french word for 'Chair'.
>> US No. 9691


The skeleton is still there - just the skin was rolled off like a friggin' TUBE SOCK OR SOMETHING. And she's in so much pain! She keeps on circling around and trying to groom it and it breaks my heart because I DID THAT TO HER!

I'm so sad I could puke, u gaiz. Not even funnin'.
>> US No. 9692
You take her to the vet?
That shit should get bandaged.
>> US No. 9695
I feel empty, but in a good way. It's like nothing is stressfull. It is nice.
>> US No. 9696
File 131545131515.jpg - (10.56KB , 190x265 , RageCatPoke.jpg )
Uh oh, another rage cat... prepare for venting.

Dear People Who Pretend To Be Autistic On The Internet,

Die in a fire.

Sincerely, People Who Have A Hard Enough Time.

I just... gah. Most of these people have nothing more than a sense of entitlement and an unwillingness to modify their own behaviour in any way! Do you know what I do, PWPTBAOTI? I modify the crap out of my behaviour every freaking day, because I live in the world, and the world isn't going to stop in its tracks and rearrange itself just because Target moved the cleaning products shelf so that I can no longer buy groceries there without getting sick and dizzy. I have to deal with that, because I am the captain of my own soul, but I am not the boss of Target.

I just... I'm a pacifist, so I don't actively want to slap people, but I really, really wish the face of my neurological condition wasn't Internet asshats, because the people I know who are actually on the Autism spectrum put work into being socially acceptable or at least able to get along in the world, even though it is EXHAUSTING sometimes. Yeah, even the little kids who are more to the severe side of the spectrum. I have seen barely-verbal seven year olds who throw tantrums when they have trouble processing the world around them, and they are more polite and thoughtful than people claiming to be autistic on the Internet. This makes me sad.

Ugh. Mad at humanity sometimes. Need a refill on my faith in mankind. Sorry about dumping on all you perfectly nice people who are not contributing to this problem.
>> DE No. 9698
Normally i wouldn´t go here and say it. And please i don´t which that people comment to this post here right now.

I did something very very stupid.

My behaviour was this of a asshole.

I hurt a person. Badly.

I´m sorry.

Feelings: Nausea, dizziness, fibre (oh great vaccination now you come on me?) , rolled around in my bed unable to sleep, because of coldness paired with fibre. I want to puke up.

Can´t think straight.
>> CA No. 9699
'Chaise,' man. Just remember 'chaise.'
>> CA No. 9700

But I forgot the word for 'Television'.

Plus side, made it into level 3B (highest is 5B), so good for me.
>> US No. 9703
>massive unprovoked blowop with Scoutpapa
>had an awful moment of realizing that I fucked up all in one fell swoop, usually I have to be told I'm wrong before admitting it
>crying mess
>huge make up afterwards with thankfulness

That feeling where you know you don't deserve it, but you're grateful with all of your heart.
>> DE No. 9707
File 131546080558.jpg - (167.92KB , 700x886 , team_captains_by_silsol-d3hed8w.jpg )
These things happen. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Show your good will and care for the person you hurt by apologizing and showing that you are willing to improve your behaviour. If the person you hurt is a decent one, they will be able to forgive you when they see that you are truly sorry. It will work out, man, it will work out.

You and everyone else I care about gets all of the hugs and thoughts I can spare right now. It's not much at the moment, but every last bit of it is still there for y'all.
(Maybe I should stop posting on here when I'm horribly sleepdeprived. It seems to make me unbearably sappy and unhelpful)
>> DE No. 9708
And i told you all not to answer it!

Perry i respect you and all, but why are you doing this to me? Now i feel all sappy again. (If i would be there by you now i would give you one of my nonreserved hugs.) Anyway we should more chat with each other and hang out if you have the time. Like in the far far future. I hope your cold became better again and that school doesn´t stress you so much.

Great persons like you show me, that this world doesn´t really got on the great big cliff where you just want to jump.

And don´t worry sleepdepravion makes people do stupid stuff, that you are sappy isn´t worse and you are never in any kind unhelpful. It´s good to hear you are alive and somehow well.
>> GB No. 9710
File 131548373649.jpg - (36.59KB , 318x271 , WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.jpg )
There is a massive spider in the bathroom. Like, three-inches-across, burst-into-tears massive. After much swearing and standing around looking nervous, my sister has managed to get it into a box, put a piece of paper under it and get it onto the windowsill. But we're both too cowardly to get it OUT the window. Guess we'll just have to wait until my father comes home and can deal with it like a Mann. I really hope one of my housemates next year is good with spiders.

Pic related: this is my crippling-arachnophobia face.

And to give you an idea of how terrified I am, I accidentally posted this as a new thread. Kill me now.
>> CA No. 9711
I slept wrong, and now my neck and upper back are all sore and stiff.

I don't wanna have to go to the chiropractor again. Costs 45 bucks every time he cracks me. He's nice and all, but I was doing so good with my back, too.

Also, the countertop guys might come today instead of tomorrow, and I might have to deal with making small talk with strangers and I HATE that.

Also I missed my roleplaying buddy by 4 freaking minutes, according to Steam. DAMNIT.
>> No. 9712
Okay, just pretty much shat my pants.

Job interview. Me. Has one. I am flailing with excitement. And I don't even know if it's an interview, or orientation, because she said I'll be there for an hour and a half!

Data entry. Minimum wage for 40 hours a week, for a 3 month contract, possibly longer. Even if just the three months, that's still $4800 bucks I will make, roughly. Enough for a full year's tuition at the university I want to go to get my Masters. I'd have to get more dough, obviously, for housing and food and such, but it's a REALLY good start.
>> No. 9713
File 131550448740.jpg - (548.85KB , 1280x1024 , 128312863725.jpg )
Aw man, you are a sweetheart. Thanks for the kind words, I admittely can use some of them right now.

Ontopic: I've reached a point I had hoped to never ever reach again. I struggled against it, but I have to admit it to myself - I'm having the exact same pattern of issues that I had back when I was in high school. And here I thought I was done with all the stress and shit. But nope, I'm apparently still very liable to break under pressure (especially expecations in terms of educational success) and get sick from it. My stomach hasn't been cramping and acting up this hard ever since I left high school.

The reason why this hurts so fucking much is because I thought I was over this. Because I actually damn love what I learn in school ... And I was doing well up until the first test dates were announced. I fought it as hard as I could, but I did break in the end. Now I'm sitting here, terribly behind on the stuff I actually want to learn simply because the sheer thought of going to school and taking the tests makes my stomach cramp up horribly.

I was so happy when I still believed I was over it. But I have to go back and fight my demons once and for all ... As much as it hurts. Fuck, I don't want to drop out of school. But at this rate, I have to. The damn thing costs money every month, money that I got in the will of my dad and my grandparents, money I don't want to fucking blow on shit. So if I want to do it right, I have to stop dead on track and drive in reverse to face these issues that I still apparently have.

I apologize for the wall of text, but this is tearing me apart so hard these days. My mind is numb and I feel like crying whenever I think about how my mom and family will react when I tell them I failed. I don't even talk much to Chi these days and he goddamn lives with me.

I'm mentally exhausted.
>> US No. 9715
File 131550987277.gif - (484.08KB , 173x129 , gif victory.gif )
>> US No. 9716
File 131551046459.jpg - (28.46KB , 450x560 , Savior Owl.jpg )
Aw man, that's a tough one... But I wouldn't recommend rushing into a decision too early! Dunno bout over there, but over here, if you drop a class after being in it for a month or so, it shows up on your record forever. My mom had to deal with that.

Mind if I ask you some questions? Did you take a break before getting into college, or did you start right away? Have you been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or perfectionism? Would you be against getting treatment (meds and\or therapy) for it if you were?

I would suggest looking into those things. I got diagnosed with all three, and the medication has helped a lot. I'm planning to sign up for therapy whenever I can (alas, no time soon).

Don't feel guilty if you absolute;y NEED to take a breather, though. You're right - this could be saving a lot of money if you're just not up to it right now. Just please don't do anything rash!
>> DE No. 9717
File 131551085592.png - (88.92KB , 545x760 , hug_or_rib.png )

I know how it feels to be under much of pressure, because of school. But don´t be afraid or ashamed of your feelings. I myself had to struggle through my education, too and i had the same fears of disappointing my family (losing the money for it).

What helped me here, was that i didn´t locked it up in me, but told them how i felt and which fears i have to disappoint them. We talked about this than and afterwards i felt better, because they knew (surely as your family does) that i try to give my best and that i really want that everyone is proud on me. To know that they are behind me, no matter what is the best thing in the world.

Don´t be afrais Perry. So long as you try to give your best, everything will work somehow out!

Here i hadn´t a reaction image so i put one "fast" together. (Now i do remember why i don´t draw much.)
>> GB No. 9718
>> US No. 9722
File 131551462486.gif - (813.47KB , 225x144 , LOLcat RAVE.gif )
Oh, an update on my rat. She seems to be doing fine at the moment. Yesterday was scary - mostly consisted of me giving her little tiny shavings of pain pills, mixing them up with Gatorade, and having her drink it. She wouldn't let me touch it, so I couldn't bandage the thing, but I did get to put some antiseptic medicine (Neosporin to go) on it and I got to soak it in some saline water a few times, too. So hopefully no bad germs. I also cleaned out her cage in hopes that'd cut down on the chance of infection.

Today when I woke up, I noticed she'd gnawed off most of the degloved part of her tail off, and she seemed a lot happier because of it. She's still running around and eating and highly curious, so I think she's healthy, but I still want to get her to a vet ASAP! My mom says she won't pay for it, but I've got TWO job prospects (!!!), so hopefully, I won't need her to! Hang on, sweety pie!

Also, this thread is getting pretty big again! Is anyone object to the idea of getting a fresh one started?
>> DE No. 9723
Thank you all for the kind posts! Oh God, guys, you are the best. Seriously.

I can tell you that I got Aspergers Syndrome. People within the autism spectrum tend to totally melt down under too much pressure and to be generally sensitive towards problems. It doesn't help that I was bullied to hell and back in high school and it took me years (!!) to finally get a teacher to listen to me and actually do something about things.

I don't want to rush. I really don't want to drop out of this at all. But when I'm at the point again where I fall back into all the bad habits and anxities that I successfully fought after leaving high school and getting psychological attention ... Yeah, you get the idea.

I had hoped I wouldn't have to go back to therapy, but seeing as I still got demons to fight off, there is no choice. I need to get this shit sorted out.

Yeah, I need to talk to my mom about it. I know she will always stick to me, but ... I just can't stop thinking about how happy everyone was when they heard the good news - You know, that I really get along well in school and have fun with the things I learn. I know my family supports me, but I just wish I wouldn't have to rely on it.

Also that picture is the sweetest thing aaaaah
Thank you so much!!
>> US No. 9724
File 131551992448.jpg - (26.46KB , 500x355 , here have a mother swan and her babies.jpg )

All my lovins for you, man. All of them.

Captcha: Einflüsse

My German is the rustiest ever, but is it just me, or does that have something to do with a river?
>> DE No. 9725

Flüsse = Rivers

Einflüsse = influences (subjective)
>> US No. 9727
File 131552283872.gif - (361.01KB , 150x118 , DERPIN.gif )
Oh, okay.

What a... German for BEGINNERS?

But I been taking it for four years!
>> US No. 9728
Oh, Perry. All my hugs, over the Internet, for you.

Absolutely know how stress gets (high-functioning autism, myself). Hope things get less stressful for you soon. You always seem so nice and helpful whenever I see you around the chan.
>> US No. 9729
File 131552782776.jpg - (15.03KB , 348x232 , backpain-1292835351.jpg )
An except from an actual Steamchat RP I had with Izznatch.

Sniper was derpin' aaround. "Herpadurp Oi'll wonder where mah shielah is, innit wot cheerio buggah?" he hurped. "Oh, I know! Oi'll hurp over to demo's and ask him if he's seen moi lil' chickadee, yeh. Dodgy! I hoep she did not isn't sexing with him anymorwe! That'd be TERRIBLE. Piss." He derped over like a real Herpadurp and knocked on the Scot's door.
>> CA No. 9730
I took French for 14, but I still forgot the word for 'Television' last night.

Protip: It's the same word, just with accents.
>> US No. 9731
File 131553064757.jpg - (29.58KB , 500x331 , memes-to-infinity-and-beyond.jpg )
Fucking brains. How do they work.
>> US No. 9732
Anybody got any advice on dealing with a really shitty roommate?? Bear with me, this may get long and ranty. I apologize for all the rage/baww in advance.

Crabby's far from home, her parents and the cat (in Mississippi) and didn't specify a roommate preference when she was enrolling for the Honors College, so Residence Life, in its infinite wisdom, assigned her a complete and utter cow for a roommate.

I am a quiet person and I tend not to speak up when I feel like something is wrong. This has turned out to be my downfall.

She makes fun of my figure (I weigh 118 and I'm 5'2; a choice example is "Don't you think your thighs are a little too big for those shorts??"), stares at me all the time, interrogates me whenever my parents come to visit and bring me more than one damn shirt, and goes through my closet while I'm sitting right there. (I have called her out on that one but she still continues to get under my bed and go through the food/ask incessantly about it). She has also kept me up until 2:00 AM and left a fucking kotex on my bathroom shelf, just out in the open...

Not to even mention her little bitchfits when the online homework won't work (she hits things) and how she leaves hairs all over the bathroom. It's a goddamn pigpen on her half of the room and she's always whining about how ~fat~ she feels. Bitch, please, you are a fucking stick and you have the balls to run around in your underwear around me, yet you're calling yourself fat??

She's also made fun of me for getting homesick, barking my thighs on the end table and for what I wear on a regular basis.

I'm getting so close to calling Residence Life it isn't even funny. I don't think I can put up with this shit much longer, but I'm so scared they won't be able to/won't want to help me because it's only the third week of classes. What do.

tl;dr: Crabby wants to summon her inner bitch to deal with this but she can't because she's too scared.
>> CA No. 9734
Don't know if this is any easier on you, but my friend tried the 'write your roommate a letter' technique.

Originally, she was going to write 'Dear roommate. Please stop being a bitch. Sincerely, X.' but she decided to actually write a well-worded letter about her feelings, and how her roommate was hurting them. She actually fucking changed for the better, and was much nicer from then on.

Don't know if it'll work for you, but it's a possibility.
>> DE No. 9737
File 131554238986.png - (71.39KB , 300x300 , 127303289425.png )
Just coming back to say thanks a thousand times to everyone who gave me nice words and verbal pats on the back. I really needed them. You guys are the best for being so supportive!

And with these words I'm back to bed. Hopefully I'll manage to actually sleep now. Can someone please give my brain a kick in the nuts so I can finally get some rest?

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. I love you guys. Gonna steer clear of most social interaction online sometime, though. I really need to get back to taking care of myself rather than catching up on what others are doing. Just so you guys know, okay? I'm sure you'll find other people on the chan and among your friends who can help you out. I'll be back once I have my shit sorted out.

Night, guys. Take care!

Captcha: tbonce order. Even Tbonce tells me to get back to bed, I guess?
>> CA No. 9740
Bitches need to get on skype when I'm on skype. Hurr.

And by bitches, I mean TwoRefined.
>> US No. 9741
You know that feel you get when you go on Facebook and look up your first love from high school, the one you looked up to and just knew they were going to go farther than anyone in your year, and find out they married a complete loser and they never lived up to their potential? And the following feel as you realize this happened to a lot of your friends from HS, and you wonder what the fuck happened to make them give up on their dreams and escape the conservative, impoverished town you came from like you all planned?

I got that feel. Real bad. It hurts, and today started out so good, after finishing my last final for the quarter, and getting that much closer to my career goals. Ended up drinking several ounces of something 9.9% alcohol content after coming down with those feels.

Fuck. I use to think I would be the one that ended up stuck in town and married to someone who thinks it is better for a woman to die than be raped and actually thinks stalking is love. How did this happen?

/drunken rant
>> CA No. 9745
My mom said that once I have my job, she's going to start charging me room and board. 50 bucks a week.

And here I thought I might be able to go back to University within the next five years. Guess not.

I mean, if I ate even half of what they eat, and didn't help around the house at all, I couldn't understand, but I don't, and I do (respectively).
>> US No. 9746
File 131559626990.jpg - (11.80KB , 200x266 , TABLETHROW.jpg )
There is nothing quite like the enraged motivation you get from a doctor telling you you're a whiny little bitch for being in pain all the time. Fuck you, doctor. I can handle this shit on my own.
>> US No. 9747
$50 ain't that bad a rate, all things considered, but I always thought it was scheevy when parents did that kind of thing. Particularly if the children aren't that bad (you sound like an upstanding gentleman, what with plans for higher education and all).

My folks do not charge rent, but the bullshit between me and my mother have reached amazing proportions. I'd go find a roommate or something somewhere, but... I found a cozy little full time job, I've been working for three weeks but I haven't been paid yet. I found out my boss hasn't even sent my contract et all to her accountant.

I swear if she doesn't pay me some sort of compensation by next week I am going to take her personal information and ruin her. You shouldn't run a business where you entrust banking information to an employee you fail to pay.

Other then all that I feel great, in a cynical raw sort of way.
>> CA No. 9749
Haha. Upstanding gentleman. Hear that ovaries? We were called a gentleman.

But yeah. 50 bucks isn't bad, and I realize that, but I'm their only child, and I've lived at home for 22 years now, without even a mention of a possibility of paying rent.

It just sucks because it feels so out of nowhere.
>> CA No. 9750
See, the only reason I don't have to pay rent is that I'm saving for school. My parents are incredibly good to me. Annnd of course I bitch and complain like every eighteen-year-old living at home.

Feelin's: got into a big fight with the wife last night, and I'm sad to say I don't get to go to Ottawa to visit her and go to the Ottawa International Animation Festival with her. I simply can't afford it and she was being very unreasonable and selfish to her own wants when trying to coax me to visit. Like, say, spending $200 on bus fare when I can barely scrape together $150 after paying bills and paying back everyone I owe money to. Plus I really wanna start saving for university, but she just can't see it from my perspective. Just because her parents are paying for her tuition/lodging/meal plan/clothes/everything doesn't mean everyone else's parents do too. I have to save and pay for my own stuff, and I can't afford dropping such a huge chunk of change to visit her and spend money in the city. I'd love to visit her, I really would, and this is my last chance to go to the festival, but I just can't. No negotiations or coaxing, I can't. How come when she says no to something, there's no argument, but when I say no it's 'aww, stubs, but you have to come, you have to visit, you have to meet all my friends, blah blah blah, do you hate me or something? do you not want to visit me? blah blah blah.'?

She's my best friend, and I could bitch about her for hours, rrgh. I am an awful person.
>> US No. 9752
Auuugh. I've been sick for a week now. I'm on antibiotics, but they're making me grumpy as HELL. My laptop charger died, so I had to go a few days on a ridiculously slow piece of crap. My mom claimed she got the mail, and like five hours later, realized she hadn't gotten it and that the charger had been in the mail box the whole time. That made me laugh more than anything though.

My girlfriend and I are doing absolutely swimmingly. I'd go on and on about her but I don't want to be "that couple", aha. It seems like everyone else around me is having problems, though, and it's hard to watch. I've been watching one friend's boyfriend be borderline abusive, other friends that call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend for no other reason than "they talk on Skype a lot", a gay male friend get stalked by a really disgusting chick, another go through a horrible breakup because his girlfriend "wasn't ready for a relationship" only to watch her publicly ask another guy out literally ten minutes later. It's all rather unsettling and I wish I could help them all, but none of it is my business and I'm not sure they want to be helped.

In other news, I poked through Moon Over June to get horrible faces for that blog, and ended up catching up on the whole thing. I feel like I need a shower.
>> US No. 9756
Sigh. Should be writing, but instead I just got hit with a wave of depression.

It's mild, compared to some of the spells I've been through, it just saps my will to do anything. And of course, I beat myself up for being unproductive...

Anyway, it's probably related to my being physically under-the-weather-- the two tend to feed into each other.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll get up and have a shower and feel better. My sister was trying to plan a Saturday trip to the local antique mall to pick her up after being sick for a couple days, so hopefully we'll go antiquing together and cheer up...

Meanwhile, totally interested in/intimidated by the idea of getting back into RPing. My D&D group doesn't get to meet very often, and with that I'm DMing, which is a totally different experience. But, I'm so socially awkward, and I just haven't been able to find RP groups online that feel like I'd fit...
>> CA No. 9759
I hope you re feeling better.

I'm feeling more bored than anything else. I have a project to do, my final project, But the feelings i got from my teachers has off put me so much, i do not feel like doing anything.

When i had done my presentation, which is hard for me to do, i HATE talking in front of people, especially when i didn't expect to to begin with, while i was explaining, two of my teachers were laughing through my entire presentation. Apparently they were looking at fail blog while i was presenting. shouldn't let it get to me but, fuck guys, REALLY?
>> US No. 9760
A gentleman is a gentleman reguardless of silly parameters like gender!

I understand that feel though. I see things like that from my folks as cold initiation into the world of adulthood.

IN OTHER NEWS: Still haven't been paid. Its hard to be too angry because its a really good, cushy cozy job in my field and I just graduated, but...yah know, even though I live with my folks I gotta get paid lady. That there's the law.
>> US No. 9764
I just spent the entire day avoiding work, studying, assignments, and fuck all using the internet. I think I might have a problem.
>> US No. 9766
Thanks, appreciate it!

As far as feeling better... Well, day started with all the power going out, across town, so no antique mall, since their AC and lighting is sub-optimal in the best of times. With the power out for about half the day, eventually my brother had to just start eating things in the fridge based on how well they would survive if the power didn't come back on.

When the power came back, the first thing Lego (the cat) did was look to the TV, like he knew it wasn't on for the same reason the lights and air weren't on, and he expected us to turn it on as soon as those other things started working.

We went to the Super Target in the next town since they wouldn't be suffering from a lack of AC half the day, and I got a salted caramel mocha frap at the Starbucks, which improved my mood, but man, coming out of the parking lot, a guy backed his car into ours at high speed.

Good news, nobody was really hurt, and there was a cop right across the street who saw everything and knew we weren't the ones hitting the car in front. Still, first time in that kind of fender-bender, so, kind of rattled. Drive through Starbucks guy learned about said fender-bender through the course of chatting while our order was being fixed, and he gave us a free lemon square, though. That was really nice.

And my mom and I got our community theatre season tickets! Next Saturday we're going to see Brigadoon. I'm going to keep an eye on the auditions-- it's mostly musicals, and I'm not much of a singer, so for those I'm happy to attend, but I miss acting, so I'm going out for the female Odd Couple, since it's happening later in their season, and I can just give my ticket to one of my siblings to come see me if I make it, and enjoy it from the audience if I don't.
>> US No. 9768
Why do cats like to torture birds? My cats find them and keep them alive for hours just mutilating them. My brother found a baby bird, and the kitten got it, and I tried to get the bird away from the kitten, but it wouldn't drop it and the bird looked right at me, like it wanted me to help and there wasn't anything I could do and I've been crying for ten minutes straight. I'm thinking about getting rid of my cats, they're horrible monsters that torture things for fun. I feel horrible for wanting to get rid of them, but they're just so mean sometimes.
>> PL No. 9771
Just buy a collar with a bell on it, so the birds will be alarmed by the sound of it and will have time to fly away, or protect the baby birds.
I saw a few of the magpies attacking a baby bird once early in the morning, and they were shrieking horribly, and the baby bird was also shrieking, since it was being poked by quite a few sharp beaks. I managed to scare off the magpies, because there was nobody else there or they were ignoring it, and the older bird, probably the mum of said baby bird, managed to take it to the side and scare the remaining magpie or two away.

The point is: this will always happen in nature, whether we like it or not. It's horrible and cruel, but sometimes we can do things to prevent that.
I hope that your cats always have the dry food to eat, and a bowl of water or cream. They won't attack if they aren't hungry. If they want to play with something that moves, buy them a mouse toy on a string, my cats love that. I'm sorry if this is pretty obvious, but if you say that you want to throw away your cats because they did something that upsets you (I'm not saying that it's wrong that this kind of stuff upsets you), that they might be lacking something. And they don't need much.

Also for the next time, if you'll manage to get your hand on a fallen baby bird, make sure to pick it up through a leaf or something similar, so that the mother will not find out about the human smell, and abandon the baby.
>> US No. 9772
We've tried a lot of things to make them stop, they've always got two full bowls of food and and one big bowl of water, and somehow they just keep taking off their collars. I don't know why nothing is working, we spoil them with all the stuff they have. It's awful, one time we came home and found somethings insides just laying on the driveway, no feathers or fur, just a pile of guts. I love my kitties, I've had the mama since she was a baby, and the kitten its whole life, I'd feel awful if I got rid of them, but they just keep killing things.
>> GB No. 9779
Have you considered keeping them indoors? Our cats don't go out (not related to bringing in birds; one got stuck on next door's guttering and it was harrowing), and while this is sometime inconvenient on the getting-in-and-out-of-the-house front, they seem perfectly happy. Obviously you need a house of a certain size for this to really work, dedication to the cause and you'll have to cat-proof everything, but it WILL eliminate the bringing-in of wildlife.

In other news I just got back from a convention and I have post-con blues. Please send steampunks.
>> US No. 9780
First day after car accident, back giving me trouble. On the one hand, I really don't want to go back to PT when it's the same part of the back that I learned all the stretches and exercises for last time anyway, on the other hand, going back would mean also getting the massages and the icing/electric... thing. Which would be good.

And I'm still kind of pissed off about the fact that, before the cop across the street flashed his lights, the guy who backed into us was just going to drive off, like, without even checking to see if he'd hurt anyone. I mean, lucky for us, there was a cop right there, but... I don't know, even though none of us were badly hurt and the car only needs minor work, I'm just shaken over the whole thing.

Excited, though, over the prospect of a playwright grant. Nervous, but jazzed. It's kind of nice to have, like, an actual thing in my life.
>> US No. 9784
Parents having marital trouble. What do?
>> DE No. 9785
Nothing. Like really nothing.

The only thing i can say you can really do: If they have an argmunet don´t just jump in and take to whiteknighting a fraction. If you see that happens something not quite right, try to calmly state YOUR opinion. Don´t say anything like: She is right and she was right back than. Which is a really good advice in a argument: Never bring up very old things.

Tell your opinion. If you get attacked than, just say: I wanted just to say what i think about it. Stand up, leave room. Or else you get it fully in.

If you notice that one part of them is constantly attacking the other part. Take this part to the side, say again your opinion. Like: I noticed you are in the last time not quite happy with much things, is there something wrong which bothers you? Ask, what is wrong. Maybe the other part is unhappy about something. Maybe there is something which your parent never told you or the other.
Don´t push it here, but try to calmly say it.

Try to suggest some activities in your neighbourhood.
If you notice that they have less time together and fun, try to make some suggestion about going out dancing or eating at a restaurant.
Maybe they will like it and try it out.

Last advice:
You are they child, not their friend.
Sad truth. You may see that they have problems, but you will have a hard time coming through to them. Because you are they child, not their friend. They need to recognize themself they have a problem and to work on it by themself. Even if it´s hard, you need to take a step away than and try not to take it personaly, if it doesn´t work out.

Sometimes parents don´t stay together forever.
>> US No. 9788
Seconding this. My parents are only together because I'm around. As soon as I get out they'll probably self-destruct. I've come to terms with it. Truth of the matter is, you probably can't get them to stop. Just try to make peace with it.
>> US No. 9791
Saw the Shining for the first time ever. Neat movie but one or two parts didn't make sense, like the bathtub scene, but I otherwise liked it.
>> CA No. 9792
I think the stuff like the bathtub is just to say 'lots of people died in this hotel. Here's one of em.'
>> US No. 9793
The book's rather more cohesive, but since it's Stephen King, it's also longwinded as hell. Like Tolkien, except instead of discursions about heritage, it's swears.
>> US No. 9795
Well, I've recently found out that a friend of mine has been knowingly and actively ignoring me and a couple more of her friends for over three months. In favor of her girlfriend, who she literally texts all day every day, constantly. I invite her over to my house to do stuff. She texts. She invites me to her house, still texting.
She used to talk to everyone pretty often, but after getting her girlfriend, we instantly stop hearing from her for weeks. Even if she finally says something to us, it always ends with me basically talking to myself, or in the case of another friend, ignored completely after the initial "hey". While shes actively chatting and talking to her girlfriend. Yeah, I understand that maybe she doesn’t realize she’s doing this because I mean, it’s a new relationship. I'm sure she’s distracted. I’m just not sure she’s distracted enough to tell everyone she’s going online in a bit, and then remain offline to us, while she’s online and talking to other people.
It hurts. It really does. I value friends over almost everything, and I know and I try my best to make them happy. I don't have problems not talking to them, life is busy, I get that. But, being too "busy" to say hi every once in awhile, but at the same timenonstop texting other people, I really just, I don't know.
I've had enough. Really I have. I’ve talked to her about this, and have forgiven her over, and over, and over. Yet she still does it. After months, I had to stop it. Just stop talking, thinking, caring, about the person who obviously doesn’t seem to care about what I think. Because it was causing me too much stress and anger and tears
But really, I miss her. We were best friends. I miss the fun times we had before all this started. I don’t know, maybe I’m the one being unreasonable, overreacting, clingy. But I really just want to know

Am I doing the right thing?

/end massive probably incoherent feeling dump
>> US No. 9797
Hi. I know I never post anymore, but I just want to say that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I regret everything I've ever done. I now have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Cinema Production, but I'm also discovering that I don't love cinema as much as I did as a wide-eyed college freshman, and the only way I can think of to rekindle my love for it is to go back to school, but I don't know if that's even possible without applying to grad school (which I am extremely unqualified for). I'm wishing that I didn't let my relationship with my ex-boyfriend hinder all social and professional connections I should have made, and now here I am, 22, living at home, and afraid to apply to everywhere because I know deep down I am not skilled enough to pursue what it is I want to do (which at this point I don't even know if I want to still be an editor or a post-visual effects artist or cinematographer or what).

I'm stuck and I don't know how to be unstuck.
>> CA No. 9798
Same boat, but in English drama instead of cinema. I want to act, but I think I'm shit, so I'm scared to.

I might go into writing instead.

But I am also 22, stuck at home, and no idea what to do now.
>> DE No. 9800

Can i jump in the boat? Okay i know what i MAY will do, but i´m uncertain if i´m good enough...

Good. In the last time i have current attacks through the day of feeling unexperienced and therefore stupid (and sometimes way to old, hey i´m 21 almost and i´m still a loser) which leads me to depressed moments, where i think: Why do i put up with ALL this again? (I mean all like all in my life.) But everytime i try to talk to a person i hear this: Everything will work out... You don´t really have problems... Suck it up, my problems are worser. (Okay not really this, but i think some have bigger problems.) And i´m sorry if this is a endless loop by me it seems. But right in the moment i don´t feel well.

OKAY if it really will work out, why didn´t it do it already? Why did i work myself sometimes up about trivial things where i couldn´t move out fear of failure? Why do i hear this frigging sentence the last 5 years OVER and OVER and OVER again? Still nothing happened! I tried okay?! Stop talking like that, just accept that if i´m blue i want to be blue and not to hear all these false promises. They never get true.

And i´m so disappointed that i still try to get to my friends and get constantly ignored...
it´s okay not to hear from each other or so, but it would be nice that i´m not ever the one going to someone, expecting something nice to happen and getting nothing at the end. I´m tired of this. So tired. But still i try.
I really try. And if they don´t want to talk to me, than they just can say: Hey leave me alone please. I´m okay with it. Not happy, but okay. So why not tell me so? Still i will just go to them with a fucking smile on my face and ask.

I can´t run ever to my bff to puke out my feelings, because he himself has problems and one day i fear he will do it and kill himself. Than the only person outside of my family who would cry for me over my grave would be gone.

I feel lonely sometimes. Wish i wouldn´t be this anti-social fuck and really try to get people to know. The last days i was with a bunch of people i didn´t know together and i feel like the most selffish person, if i come home and get asked, what they are doing, how long they are there, how much did they do? And all i think is: The half of them are morons the other ones has just bad luck, and i don´t run a round asking how much they do. I feel ever like that if i´m getting asked as example: How many people had this note in your class? And so on. I don´t know, because i don´t care. And seriously? I don´t really want to change that.
Because it gives nothing more umcomfortable to get asked about such things. I know that.
I´m anti social, twenty-one (this one month makes the pig not fat), still not this independet how i wish to be and self-esteem is like -100 points. And just feeling blue the whole fucking week. Especially if i´m sitting than like tomorrow all bored around there, having nothing to do, because i already did everything.

tl;dr: Wanted to eat a pudding now, but i´m not hungry anymore.
>> CA No. 9801
Spazzing with joy. My life may lack direction, but at least I've got a job interview tomorrow.

>> GB No. 9802
I know exactly what you mean about not feeling independent. Hell, I'm 20 and I still live with my parents and have exactly zero job experience. I also know what you mean about feeling stupid; the worst part is that I KNOW I'm not stupid, but I go to a very fancy uni and am surrounded by people who are even smarter, so I feel very slow to grasp things in comparison.

See, the reason people say "Everything will work out" is that usually, it will. It may take a while but you'll get back on your feet. Have you tried talking to a counsellor? Do you have a support group in your local area for young people? It might help to talk to someone who's used to dealing with these sorts of problems.
>> DE No. 9803
Okay i shouldn´t post here anymore, if i have the blues. But i just wrote it, because i felt like different things (if my live really just depends me getting a job, please shot me now and don´t cry for me) are pilling up. It was just good to write once down everything which bothers me in the last days somewhere, knowing people who don´t know me see it and just notice it. Thanks for reading guys, you are awesome.

How i say: If you are sitting in a group and you already filled all your tasks and can´t do ANYTHING productive than, you have to much time to think.

Current feelings: Scared. Not of live, but because i saw some korean horrorcomics. Why i´m such a sucker for scary stuff? It scares me, but also excites me. But now i fear to go alone to bed now...
>> US No. 9804
>That feel when you have the clearest, softest, most perfect complexion, save for one huge IRRITATED RED SORE ZIT ON THE FRONTMOST PART OF YOUR CHEEK

>> US No. 9805
After nearly 2 years the only person I have any feelings of affection for is my ex-girlfriend. But she does not like me anymore. I know because I have told her I still have feelings for her a few times already. This is annoying, but at least I am able to ignore these emotions for the most part. Relationships are not something I am any good at.
>> CA No. 9807
I have my interview today, and my stomach is being iffy. GREAT.

"So, I see you graduated from-"
".....we'll be in touch."
>> US No. 9814
Pro: got a purse and a pair of shoes last night, which I really needed anyway, and now I've got a complete Sweet Lolita outfit for when I'm not feeling Classic.

Con: Realizing I've been on a spending binge due to depression over not being in school this semester.

Well, I'm gonna get $80 for babysitting four days over the next two weeks, and the haunted house I work for is starting up soon, so at least I get to recoop the money I've spent.

I am now on a self-imposed freeze from buying anything that isn't food (or movie tickets, because Scoutpapa and I have been planning on going to see Lion King in 3D tonight for a while now).
>> US No. 9815
Why the fuck do people shout at people walking down the street from their cars.

Seriously, do you really want to vent some needless malice without consequence that badly,
Just don't be an asshole.
>> CA No. 9817
We bought stuff at Walmart and my mom nicked my knuckle with the bag as we hauled the stuff out of the cart. Teeny little cut, right on my ring knuckle. Stings like a bitch.
>> GB No. 9818
It's been a looooong time.

I want to write again. I have ideas but I just. Can't. Get. Them. The fuck. Down.

Feeling lots of things but hard to write even that, damn it.
>> US No. 9820
File 131623591687.png - (12.71KB , 232x154 , Sad_wittle_sniper.png )
I think my rp days are coming to an end. This saddens me as rping was one of my favorite past times late at night and now everyone I rp with suddenly has school/work and can't rp even on weekends or have no interest in TF2 anymore. Tried going to forum rp but already I feel outcasted for not being "in the circle of friends" and barely have any of my posts answered at all. I miss rping, it was my outlet for getting creative ideas for fanfics to work on or just getting creative.

Captcha: miseria It knows... not cool.
>> CA No. 9821
I should go on AIM more often man... I really should. I feel so bad now.
>> CA No. 9822
There are lots of people around here who RP. Hell, I posted something about roleplaying once in this very thread, and three people ended up contacting me for roleplaying, because they saw that post.
>> US No. 9824
Spent most of today sick in bed after spending most of last night not sleeping/running to the bathroom (and then not, like, vomiting or anything, just feeling uncomfortable near a toilet).

It was the last day to get my proposal in to the local Playwright Gateway Project-- I didn't find out that there were going to be grants for eight local playwrights until less than a week before the deadline, and luckily you only needed to submit a one-page proposal and then those who get selected get workshops/support during the writing process.

I thought, score! I have a play I'm working on. But they had a theme you had to adhere to, which my play didn't, so I had to come up with an idea for a one-act play that would fit the theme that I thought I could write. So I finally get a proposal done on the last day, but I can't drive and the office closes at five thirty.

My mom is totally willing to drive me downtown for this opportunity, she wants me to get paid to do something I really want to do with my life, but she doesn't get back from work until five thirty. She says, there's a play tonight, someone has to be at the box office, we race across town.

As it turns out, the box office still closes at five thirty, and then they re-open an hour before the show. We don't have time to loiter, we have to make sure the kids get fed (okay, so they're not really kids anymore, either, but the point is, we can't wait).

So I put my proposal into their mailbox and pray for the best, but I've been kind of hyperventilating for most of the evening.

Tomorrow night we're going back to see Brigadoon. It's too bad the deadline wasn't one day later since we'd be heading down there anyway, but... ah well.

Still, fingers crossed. I don't know how many submissions they'll get and for me, a proposal is harder to write than the play itself because I don't know what they want and I can't really prove myself as a playwright in proposal format so I'm worried even if they do get my submission and accept it, I might have screwed up on selling myself.

I'm still looking forward to Brigadoon, though. And to auditioning for the female version of The Odd Couple in January. (If I make it, one of my siblings can take my seat, since we've got tickets for the whole season)
>> US No. 9825

Funny thing is, all the people I was rping with are/were channers. Last time I had some new people contact me was last month four separate times. We spoke once, talked about what we liked to rp and I never heard from them again. I have not gotten another request to rp since then, I guess what I like to rp is boring to most people or something.
>> GB No. 9826
Feelings: worried. I fucked up early last month and ended up ODing on painkillers because of the something I probably blew way out of proportion, not helped by the fact that the doctors don't want to give me anti-depressants OR counselling, and I don't have anyone I can talk to about shit because all my friends have their own problems they like to vent to be about, even if they're not suicidal. Anyway, kinda paranoid that I might've fucked things up a bit by doing that considering I've not had a period since then... So yeah. Let's hope I haven't rendered myself permanently infertile thanks to my stupid decisions.
>> US No. 9827
Stress can delay ovulation, since the body reacts to enough stress by shutting down anything it deems 'not vital right now'.

There are a host of reasons why a doctor might be reluctant to prescribe meds, but yeesh, not advising counseling? That... that bothers me.

I've been to despair and back a couple of times and I know it's never easy to take care of yourself when you're there. I hope you can get the help you need to feel better.

So, all my psychic hugs/well-wishes.
>> GB No. 9828
The excuse they gave me for not offering me counselling three years ago (don't ask me why they haven't offered it since then) was that apparently "you're at a wierd age where I can't point you towards adult or child counsellors", and apparently I'm not bad enough for medication. Then again, it's not like a particularly want to go on prozac, but I'm finding it a bit odd considering my friends have been put on prozac for less. IDK, man.

But thanks for the info. Makes me feel less crappy knowing that I probably haven't given myself a chemically-induced pseudo-hysterectomy.
>> US No. 9829
Guys I will totally fucking RP with you. I haven't had a decent RP in ages...most of my old partners are not interested anymore or have faded away.

The trouble is I haven't ever TF2 RP'd before. Fuck, I'm falling in love with TF2 all over again and I can't even play it very well (I spent an hour last night pushing a bomb with a bunch of Russian My Little Pony Fans and I'm not sure what they were saying about me, but it didn't sound polite.

I just miss RPing in general because of the escapist fantasy, but also getting to experience that fantasy with somebody else.

Email in the email field. I regret everything.
>> US No. 9832
On the one hand, I'm slightly jealous of my sixteen year old sister for reaching the one year anniversary with her boyfriend while the only date I've ever been on ended in tears.

On the other hand, I don't feel like trying again. I'm worried I'll mess up that date just like the previous one. I still have nights where all I can think about is what I could've done differently.
>> CA No. 9833
We should do more of that pet!Sniper one we started. I reread what we did, and I want to do more. /gets on AIM
>> DE No. 9834
Update on the Perry side of things:

I told my mom and my supervisor about my stress and my inability to go to school. I'm still so ashamed and sad that I can't do things I like because of my goddamn stress problems and other issues I loathe so much, but at least I got the word out and we can start to deal with it.

Went to a doc with my supervisor and I was really afraid it would be some guy who would try to BS me out of getting help, but I was lucky and got a really friendly doc who listened to my issues and seemed to actually care. She said she would do some calls and look into what kind of therapy/counseling I could get regarding my stress, my autism troubles and all that jazz. I'm supposed to get called back tomorrow.

Here's hoping this gets somewhere. Going out to see the doc was already a big obstacle to overcome.

Honestly, pal, don't let them push you away from help you actually need. I'm also exactly between the stages of being a minor and being an adult, and that didn't stop the doc I saw from looking for counseling options for me.
As hard as it is to overcome your troubles and go see another doctor - Do it, mang, DO IT. It's a goddamn shame how people who really need support have to fight to get it. Please don't give up.
>> GB No. 9835
Why the fuck am I awake right now and why don't I have a hangover? And why am I complaining about not having a hangover?
Thanks for your support. I guess I've always taken a kind of self-medicating approach to medicine, and the doctors at my local surgery - or at least the one I saw - all seem to be less than sympathetic... Although I'm sure I don't need to tell you that, judging by your post.
Life sucks.
>> US No. 9837
Need to do a shitload of research on Biblical mythology and demonology and pretty much everything dealing with Hell for this story I'm trying to flesh out and I have no idea where to start, what to consider canon of the scripture and how to distinguish conflicting mythos from common misconceptions.

Fuck everything.
>> US No. 9839
File 131636866291.gif - (455.22KB , 178x195 , emperorcry.gif )
My heart was ripped out of my chest and crushed last night. And that's not all that's to it. I feel like shit, I want to crawl into a very deep hole and be forgotten.
>> DE No. 9841
Feeling helpless, because can´t help friends. I never was good in comforting people. I never was. All i can offer is me listening and hugs if they want.

I can´t push people into telling me what they have, because i myself know how it feels to be pushed. It really isn´t a nice feeling and i´m usually the type who winks with the fencepost until the dam breaks loose and people get hit by the flood.

Still it´s nice to hear from someone i missed for quite some time, again. Even if i can´t help her and i feel my advises are all half-assed.

Someone out there who can give me advise to give good advises? And not these confucian fortune cookies ones? The ones which aren´t going: If boyfriend is living far away and get work there and you can´t go to him, wait a few months. Get your head clear about everything and than you both should speak again about this matter? Damn she now just gave me a very good one!


I fail so hard as friend. Why can´t i be the one who can give good advice?
Don´t be friends with me guys. I constantly don´t write you on on steam and just wait that you will write me on.

Exceptions are a few there and they regret every minute they added me as friend.

Yeah and i´m contantly tired. Well this could come now from the fact i picked a book finally up, which i have for quite some time and started reading it... Yesterday started und already over 350 sides mark...
I believe at tuesday i have it through.
>> No. 9843
File 131639896668.png - (224.76KB , 638x356 , Screen shot 2011-01-22 at 2_12_48 PM.png )
Karnickel, you are the sweetest person ever and I just want to hug you and be your friend when you seem upset.
>> US No. 9844
This is kind of extensive, but I really want to get it out.

28th of July my father died.

Shortly thereafter, my stepsister pretty much disowned me, claiming I was holding out on her inheritance, when my father didn’t leave her anything. We have no documentation, he had no Will, no insurance policy. The only thing any of us got was his Benefits from his time in the military, which I received as his next-of-kin, and I am putting away in a savings account, some of which went to paying for the funeral. The house was in both his and my mom’s names, so the house goes right to her, and dad really didn’t have much else. She refused to allow my sister, Erin, into the funeral home early to get a few moments alone with my father. She nearly fored her to stay out of the funeral home when we were talking preparations for the funeral, and fought to have a religious service the next day when my father hadn’t been to church in 40+ years and wouldn’t have wanted that for shit. She also had them play ‘Danny Boy’, which my father hated because it reminded him of his dead son. When I informed her that Erin would be staying right there in the office, she said ‘Well then I guess we aren’t burying our father’. She continued the claim that Erin wasn’t his daughter, even though he’d raised her from the time she was three. She also never made a single mention of dad’s son, who died when he was a baby from a heart condition.

I told her to grow the fuck up. She’s 36 years old, I’m 18, and I’m more mature than she is.

Step sister’s mother, my father’s ex-wife, ordered a pendant with my dad’s fingerprints on them for me. I was indebted to her, for that, because I only had enough money to pay the funeral home. Shortly after the disowning, she cancelled this order.

Step sister stole dad’s briefcase with all documentation, refuses to give it back.

Dad’s girlfriend/friend Don probably took his car keys, we cannot find them.

At the funeral, I stood up in front of the entire congregation and told stories about my dad. They were funny, sweet stories of my father, and they expressed how much I loved him. I talked about what a pain in the ass he was, about the stupid things he’d done, and how much he meant to me. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, to stand up there and talk about my father in the past tense, with his body behind me in a casket, and realize the fact that when I get married, I will be walking down the aisle alone.

Shortly thereafter I received a letter telling me how my father never loved me and I was white trash. How I was going to hell, and how my mother and my sister were fake, white trash bitches.

It's been a month, and things have calmed down, and now that entire side of my family/people I know, have cut me out of their lives. My grandmother and aunt haven't called me once, nobody from my family in Florida has talked to me since the funeral, and the people my father called 'friends' have been talking shit about me and my mother and sister.

I'm tired, so tired. These were people I honestly thought gave a shit about me and trusted me, I'm betrayed and hurt and mourning.

And fuck, three days ago we had to put one of our cats to sleep so this has not been the best damn past two months for me.
>> US No. 9845
*big hugs for all* Wish I could help. But life will get better, I promise.
>> CA No. 9846
I hope no one here gives enough of a shit about broadway to call me a blasphemer like my friend.

See, I've recently discovered Sweeney Todd. Since my RP buddy had some stuff going on and couldn't write with me tonight, I decided to look up some soundtracky stuff for it. Found one with Patti LuPone.

Was discussing it with my friend, and I stated, honestly, that I didn't see what the big deal about Patti LuPone was. I don't think she's as good as people always say. Yes, she can act, and she hits the notes properly, but I personally believe there are better singers and actors out there.

And boy did she get pissed at me for saying so. She's like, a LuPone fanatic, I guess, so I pretty much just stuck a knife into her heart. She'll get over it, honestly, but I hate how stubborn people can get over stuff like this. There's no right or wrong when it comes to opinions of quality- everyone has different ones. You like Patti LuPone, and I don't. Neither one of us is 'wrong', and to say that I am isn't very fair.

Also, my wisdom tooth is still giving me grief, so that pisses me off too.
>> US No. 9848
I lost my father three years ago. It's still hard sometimes. I didn't go through anything like what you went through with family, but I understand the kind of hole that loss leaves, and I'm just so sorry people are treating you like crap when you need support, and being difficult. And I'm sorry about your cat.

So, hugs and stuff. I may be a weird Internet stranger, but I am in your corner, and I sincerely hope that things go better for you.
>> DE No. 9849
*hugs* This kind of assholery on funerals i unfortunatly know. Even if it was just my greatgranddad back than. Some members of a other brench of the family got a bit drunk... or drunk and than they just started to bitch at my grandpa and my grandmom and all. Stating they didn´t do anything for him and all. While we were the ones who cared about him. I don´t want to get into much details here now, but to the end it was we were the bad ones for sacrificing so much, while the ones wo inherited everything than (we didn´t want to have than any of his stuff), didn´t do shit and just said we were selffish unthankfull bastards. I was sixteen than and felt just disgusted with them. For me they are not any part of my family. It´s sad, to hear that it happened to you and especially by your dad. But i need to say that you held through this until now, just shows what a great and adult person you are. I believe your dad would have been proud on you for putting up with so much.
>> CA No. 9853
I'm sick. I can't bend down without my head spinning.

WTF head.
>> CA No. 9855
File 131648100588.png - (13.23KB , 529x522 , me vs_ math.png )
Math, go away forever. Feel free to throw yourself onto these handy spikes and curl to ashes in a ditch.


>> US No. 9856
I am so there.

>> GB No. 9857
All the time. I can't remember a time before calculus. But then I am doing a maths degree. Am I right in thinking that in America you often have to do maths even if you're not doing it as your degree? Because I can see why that might be horrible.

Anyway, I'm feeling rather self-satisfied and excited. After a long, drawn-out battle with my student union (whose disorganisation and general uselessness is rivalled only by the SU of The Other Place), I have bagged a table at the Freshers' Fair to advertise the Steampunk and Lolita societies my friend and I are forming. It's all a bit of a gamble for us since the tables are £40 and there's no guarantee that anyone will be interested, but I reckon it's a risk worth taking.

Also it means I get to sit about knitting for three days wearing a top hat and goggles and scaring the norms. Well worth the dosh.
>> US No. 9858
Yeah, at American uni, everyone has to take so many general education credits. (Although, hopefully I won't have to take calculus, considering I'm legitimately terrible at math so maybe they'll put me in the lowest classes they have, like algebra or statistics.)
>> US No. 9859
Ugh. Its particularly terrible in the state schools. I wanted to move from a private to a state school in my second year (private with scholarship was nice, but a state and getting to dorm away from the parents would be nicer). They rejected all the gen eds I took at the private, and I would have literally spent 2 years just catching up to the amount of gen eds they required; the amount of gen ed requirements totaled more then what I needed to complete my major.

That, and they turned all the courses I took for my major into electives. Why? The truth may never be found.

tl, dr; university is crazy, but I miss it so fucking much. Kids you really don't know what you've lost until its gone. Brb graduate school.
>> US No. 9860
fuck yeah top hats. That sounds like fun.
>> CA No. 9864
I'm the Assistant Stage Manager of a $50,000 production of A Christmas Carol, and the director's put me in charge of props. $2500 at my disposal.

WTF. I don't know how to make fire on stage! Y U give me this, director?

Been googling 'fire on stage' like a motherfucker. Only thing I've learned? DON'T USE REAL BLOODY FIRE OH GOD THE HORROR.

Thank god I don't actually have to build it myself, though, once I figure out what we're doing. Got the carpenter for that, at least.

Stress. I has a little of it.
>> US No. 9865

What kind of fire are you trying to go for? From a campfire circle, a burn pit barrel, a cauldron style fire? If anything that includes an object for the fire to come from and not straight from the floor with no surrounding case, here's a great idea for fire effects:

You will need a box fan of the size you need, a box or 3 sided panel to look like whatever it is you need to hide the fan, a small light that produces a yellow or red glow, and red, orange, and yellow silk.

Make wavy stripes of silk and tie them to the box fan's grating all mixed up and spread around. Make your cover of the fan and place your light source near the corners of the box cover. Plug them in on que and you have instant, no heat fire for theatrical use!
>> CA No. 9866
Exactly this.
Yeah. I'm not exactly sure how it is in the States, but my degree requires at least one Math course - I'm taking the lowest they offer, which is if you didn't take a calculus course in highschool. It also requires Stats, but I actually find that useful, and pretty damn easy.

In other news, I have a brief little light at the end of my week when I get to see my favourite actor on the silver screen again. It's been too long. Yessss.
>> CA No. 9868
Yeah, that's pretty much what I've been reading, but thanks. I would put a smiley face here to show I am being sincere, but 'tis forbidden.

I think what I'll do for some of them, though, is use red lighting effects, and some logs, to make it look like embers. That sort of thing would work best for our chestnut seller, rather than a full fire.
>> US No. 9869
>suprising amount of interest in items I'm selling
>taking on beta reading duties for a friend, considering I have no life right now
>one year anniversary is coming up with Scoutpapa
>Going back to haunted house I used to work at to scare the ever-loving shit out of small children and grown men, all the while getting paid to do it

Feels good, man.
>> US No. 9870
You ever have that awkward moment where you aren't sure whether someone asked you on a date or not?
Cause I'm having that right now.
>> GB No. 9874
Except I get it the other way around as well, like "Did I just ask that person out on a date? Crap."
Don't worry, bro. If you got asked out, you'll know eventually. Awkwardly, but eventually.
>> AU No. 9875
File 131660701233.png - (591.03KB , 1152x864 , fury of a time lord.png )
ok so i'm all set up at my new place.

and my computer is fiannly all set up and connected to the internet.


without steam i have absolutely ZERO even close to recent games,

but on the other hand, i now have all my reaction images back so i can express my displeasure
>> US No. 9877
Can you give more details about the problem? Does it crash right away? What version of windows are you using?
>> AU No. 9878
windows 7.

you know that part after you've done your sign in and it loads? the part where either news your you steam window comes up?

it just disapears when that transition happens
>> US No. 9880
Did you bring up task manager (ctrl shift esc) and see if steam was still running in processes? I have Windows Vista and sometimes my gamebox program vanishes from the lower right corner but turns out it's still running somehow.
>> CA No. 9883
I keep getting that with one of my friends. After a D&D game was cancelled, and we were all already at his house, other bros decided to goof around and watch things I wasn't interested in. Since the last bus was long gone, he drives me home. We got in the car, and he asked me - "So, coffee, or tea?" I asked him what kind of tea, and then proceeded to tell him that no amount of coffee would keep me up anyways.

I realized only after he took the turn straightest to my house that he might have actually wanted to spend some time with me outside of everyone else. I thought it was funny afterwards, but it also bugs me. I keep getting odd "not sure if want" vibes from him and I'm pretty sure he gets the same from me.

There was also another incident where we were both at a party, everyone else retired to their own places and he kept me there (pleasant surprise), and we drank more and listened to music and talked about whatever silly shit we felt like, I guess. When it came time go conk out, he asked whether I wanted my own room or to bunk with him. I was tired, and beyond caring, and told him he could decide. He decided to direct me to another room.

Do things just REALLY go over my head, or is he occasionally putting out a line to sleep with me casually, or what? I've only ever had one boyfriend (2 and a half years of what the fuck was that), and had dated maybe 3 other people for less than several weeks each. And not for a long while now.

It also makes it awkward to ask him to movies or anything else, since I like to see him and I like movies and things, and while I'm not asking him on a date, I don't want to be a dork and go "YEAH JUST SO YOU KNOW I'M ASKING YOU AS A FRIEND", because it's not that I DO or DO NOT want anything else. IT'S JUST CONFUSING. He also threw out a line when we saw each other on the train just recently where he told me he wanted to find a beer I liked, since I'm not into it; mainly with the end goal of getting enough of it through my system so that I couldn't taste it anymore and the flavour wouldn't actually matter. That sounds awful, and like he wants to get me drunk explicitly, but it was honestly a friendly invitation.

And since I'm not sure what's going on, I'm probably just reading too much into everything. Augh, help.
>> US No. 9885
You're probably not just reading too much into anything, because it sounds to me like it's a little bit too concentrated to be just casual. I'd say wait it out a little bit more, even though it's awkward, and he'll tell you at some point that he likes you.
>> US No. 9886
File 131663436845.jpg - (27.78KB , 713x456 , heavy-spies.jpg )
DUDE don't play pattycake with him; ask him what his exact intentions are. He's not going to up and abandon you for asking. Damn girl(boy?), don't torture yourself.

Also I found out possibly I might be out of a job in October. I work in an art gallery in a very fancy pants mall. The landlord and some smhucks walked in, started measuring everything and scowling at the place (think Delia and Otho in the Maitland's house in Beetlejuice). Turns out the gallery's lease is up in October, and weither my boss pays the rent or not, they're kicking us out to make room for a semi-permanent Louie Vutton...thing. All of our artwork, including storage has to be gone, "Delia" says, and I realized that she was telling me in a faux polite way "Yeah, you guys are loosing this space, get the fuck out."

I'm not saddened, really, but I'm more annoyed. I actually kind of liked this job, and its weird hearing that you might loose it from strangers who don't give a fuck.
>> US No. 9889
Went to the dollar store with my mom a few days ago. We talked to the cashier for a bit (it was a slow day for everyone), and the cashier asked how old I am. My mom told her that I'm in college, and the cashier says "Oh my gosh, but you look too young to have a kid in college! I thought she was twelve!"

It's been at least three days and I still can't stop thinking about what she said. Maybe that's why I never get asked out on dates, because I look like a middle schooler, I'm almost twenty. I need to find out how to look more "grown up", I feel part of it is my height, I'm only 5ft, and I can't wear heels without almost snapping an ankle.
>> US No. 9890
I'm really nervous! I'm having employee orientation tomorrow for my first ever job, and I'm so anxious, I can feel my BLOOD, like, in my VEINS and shit! It feels sharp, like it's filled with tiny needles that are, like, sticking in the my blood vessels and stuff.

I just can't stop worrying about this or that! I suppose it won't be nearly as scary once I actually get down to it, but guuuuh. New experiences make me want to shrivel up and die. Pleh.
>> US No. 9891
Man, I hope everyone's lives are going well right now, because mine is... ugh.

Kind of spiraling down into depressionville at the mo'. Dragging myself out of bed feels like an insurmountable obstacle, and of course I know staying in bed all day is only going to make me feel worse and disgusted with myself, but it's like at the time that it's happening, I am literally incapable of acting in a rational, logical manner.

My family helps, but only when they're not burning out themselves, and it's just such a tricky balance, and I feel a lot of guilt and shame for being not-good-enough.

See, my mom has three kids, all of us are disabled adults. I'm the only one actually on disability (apparently disabilities don't stack, so they just tell my sister she doesn't have a condition that prevents her from working. No, she doesn't have ONE condition that prevents her from working, she has all the conditions)

So I feel bad that I can't do/contribute more, even though logically I should be thinking 'I'm contributing something to my family by getting on disability'. I feel bad that I can't do enough to take care of my family.

There's a local movie theater that does special mornings where they open early for families where one or more of their kids are autistic, and the parents feel like they can't go to the movies with their kids because they're afraid of meltdowns and everyone thinking they must be bad parents. It's a really great program, we like supporting it, and hey, I don't mind seeing kids' movies. This time it's Lion King, though, and my dad died three years ago, so my survival plan is to excuse myself to 'go to the bathroom' before the wildebeest stampede, I'm just worried that I'll accidentally come back in too soon. And obviously I'm not going to make a scene in this crowd, but I just... I really hate having people see me cry because it takes me back to every time I was a mess in public growing up.

Okay. So that's my... giant ball of issues, I guess. Just feeling low and worthless and full of stress, and I've got no one to talk to about it, because my mom is an expert on this stuff but there is no way I am unloading how bad I feel on my mother. It's kind of one of my major goals in life to make sure she never finds out about the worst of my depression. She gets so upset whenever she reads or hears about kids on the spectrum who contemplate suicide, I really don't want her to know I was one of them once. Or twice.

Anyway, I'm not suicidal now, so nobody freak out on me, I like being alive, I just wish it would suck a little less right now.

Thanks for letting me unload here, you guys.
>> US No. 9896
That's a good idea. I can't stand sad parts in movies, either. I use to be able to, but not after losing two cats last year, one of which was my best friend for most of my life, and my dog recently. I never use to cry during movies, but after all that, I feel the tears well up. I know it doesn't compare to human loss, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

If you have a friend with you or something, you can have them tell you when the stampede part is over. That way, you're sure that you miss it, and don't come back in too early
>> US No. 9898
If you don't know already from the last post I made to this thread, my dog died earlier this week. I feel relieved more than anything, though, because she was really sick. She wouldn't eat anything at all, no matter what we gave her, and she even gave up trying to control her bladder and bowels. We had to have a diaper on her at all times when she was inside the house. It was all caused by a large tumor in her stomach. She was suffering. She lived a long and happy life, though, and I'm glad she's in a better place. I still was hoping not to have to deal with another pet death so soon.
>> US No. 9899
No, it's okay, I am totally unoffended by human loss v. pet loss comparisons. (after my old cat died, there was a song I couldn't listen to because it made me think of him)

Thanks, and I'm sorry about your cats and dog. It's so hard to have more than one loss close together.
>> AU No. 9900
but of course i did
>> US No. 9901
I remember reading that the stampede is only about two and a half minutes long, so if you leave the room when Scar's taking Simba down into the ravine and wait four minutes, you can come back in right at the point where Simba's lying in the desert.

Babysitting my three cousins today, and getting paid for it. Finally, something I can do other than sit around and wish I was in uni this semester.
>> US No. 9905
>> US No. 9907
You, madam, are a lifesaver. Or at least, a dignity saver.
>> US No. 9908
It's probably not a good thing to be FOREVER ALONE-ing even though you're already in a relationship, is it?
>> US No. 9909
No worries. Figured I could help.

>babysit a two-year-old all day, he's an angel by himself
>his siblings come home from elementary school, suddenly house is turned into zoo
>one thing leads to another, I'm reduced to Barbie hair stylist while changing a diaper, and have to give a first-grader a short talk about why racism is bad because of the way he was playing Lego Indiana Jones.

And I get to do it all again tomorrow... and twice again next week.

If I ever say that I want another child after having two, someone kindly punch me in the ovaries and knock them out of comission.
>> PL No. 9916
I'm sick of being sick (thankfully, usually when I get sick once I'm free from this nasty thing for the next 6 months). It started as a muscle pain, thankfully I took some medicine to reduce the damage and two days in I'm feeling better, but I have so much to do it's not even funny. I can't be sick. Not with a master's degree on another university, which we have to pay for (thankfully my dad's last book paycheck will cover the costs), since it's private and usually higher education is free here. I'm starting that school in twelve days, I want to learn as much as I can, since it has game design, 3D and 2D animation, but at the same time I'll have to learn everything from scratch and try to keep up. Not sure if want. But I don't want to disappoint my folks and waste money they're gonna put into this school.
First term is gonna be so much fun.
>> US No. 9917
With a tone of innocence that only comes from those who have no idea what the word means, my dad asked me if I knew what 'yiffing' meant.

Today sucks already. OTL
>> US No. 9919
Alright, so I have a friend who seems to have severe attachment issues.

She and her ex have been broken up for two years. I thought everything was hunky doory, but it turns out she still has strong feelings for him and it's starting to cause problems in her current relationship.
The two have had regular contact and have tried to stay friends all this time, so maybe she needs to cut off all contact with him. That especially sucks since both of them are part of this inner circle of friends I have...though he's often too busy to talk to us much.
Blagh. Anyone have any input on this?
>> DE No. 9921
I dunno. The best thing would be for your friend maybe not to cut all ties, but rather to take more space between herself and her ex (if he really doesn´t talk this much to you than it should be a bit easier.) And she should probably get down again why this relationship to her ex broke up (i don´t know much about it so i just can wildly guess. If he cheated on her or if both were to different to the end or anything else. Let her recall why it didn´t work).
The cut all ties thing should really just be the last solution. It may sting, but if the just friends thing isn´t really working than this is the best for her and him.
>> US No. 9922
This made me laugh so hard. I'm sorry.
I think part of the reason it was so funny was that my parents asked me last night, with the same innocence, what DSLs are.
>> GB No. 9923
I hate that I spent a good minute and a half or so going, "...direct server link? What?".
Then I remembered. And lol'd.

My shoulder hurts. In fact it's been hurting for over a week. I blame archery. I've been hanging out down my local club now that I have my own kit and it's so nice.
Embarrassing secret: when I'm stood on the line, I pretend I'm a huntsman!Sniper and the target is a RED Heavy on the last cap, and if I can put an arrow through his head (i.e. the gold) we win the match for the glory of BLU.
>> US No. 9925
Being a Medic for a Halloween party. I've only got two things for it so far (an Archimedes and a modified doctor coat) and I've never made any kind of prop (or anything at all, really) before. I already feel like I've gotten in over my head.
>> US No. 9927
Awesome-- hey, there's always got to be a first time for prop-ery. I believe in you, and the special magic of Hallowe'en.

I'm putting together a Harpo costume. I really want to find a good realistic rubber fish to keep in my coat pocket... (I need to sew some extra pockets into the coat, too, so I can pull endless crap out of it)

And... back to my romantic confusion. Always confused after D&D. This guy and I are very much on the same page about a whole lot of things, but as I've said before a couple times, both socially awkward, so I don't know where anyone stands in this... But he did mention off-hand a thing he remembered about me that I hadn't even remembered mentioning, and I think he could handle my fangirl side, if the thing between us ever turns out to be a thing...

And then for the first time since high school, I heard the song 'Son of a Preacher Man' without wincing over one of my first (ill-conceived) crushes. Good sign? At least a good sign that I can enjoy the song again instead of cringing about how dumb I was when I was young...
>> US No. 9928
That sounds sweet. One of your best bets might be to ask for advice or look for tips on how to make your props in the Cosplay and Conventions section of the chan. Fellow TF2 cosplayers will be more than happy to help you. There's also a thread stickied at the very top that tells you where you can get supplies.
>> US No. 9930
I think that's what I'll do, I've only been in the cosplay board once or twice before, and sometimes I even forget its there. I think my biggest worry is making sure I haven't lost any fingers after the probably inevitable use of a saw.

Thanks. I looked up Harpo, that looks like it will be an awesome costume. Good luck!
>> US No. 9931
A little upset. I missed a huge shitstorm in /afanfic/, thinking the thread would last longer. I come back, and it's baleeted. Damn me! I shoulda saved it all before I gave the computer back to mom!

In other words, my day went well! It was just orientation, so it ended up feeling... much more like school than work every should, I guess, lol. But today is the real thing, and I'm going to be there a while (from 10:30 to 7! ACK), so I'm hoping things go well. Wish me luck, guys.
>> GB No. 9932
That awkward moment when you do/make/send crazy shit to people when blackout drunk, and nobody believes that was why.

Sort of related: woke up naked from the waist down with my best friend's cousin's face on my thigh. Still drunk now. Not sure what happened last night. Apparently enraged many people on xbox live (and possibly here). Feeling pretty shitty because I did some really bad work in that "I'm drunk this seems like a great idea right now" way and posted it in various places, sent to my teachers, drew some pages for this comic I'm meant to be illustrating really badly and sent them to my friend who now thinks I'm fucking around with him and not serious about the project. Which I am.

I just don't know when to stop drinking, is all.

Future alcoholic? Maybe.
>> CA No. 9933
I spent a few hours the other day cleaning my bathroom, organizing the space under the vanity, and I found all my makeup, and organized it by use.
I learned something. I have a shitload of makeup.

It's good, though, because I'm going to Rocky Horror next weekend, when my theatre company puts it on, and I'm dressing up like the rest of the off-duty volunteers (we volunteer on the other plays). My makeup will be glorious! White cream makeup, blush, liquid eyeliner and sparkles galore, red and black lipstick...
It's gonna be great.
But I wish I had one of those blush sticks from Avon, because now I have to wait for the cream to completely dry before I apply the blush, or it'll all stick to my brush.
>> US No. 9935
Dat feel when a guy you never expected to be interested in you is actually totally into you.
That feel when you have good chemistry.
That feel when you have your eyes open for the first time after pining for a guy you have no real chemistry with for a month and a half.

Holy fuck so ecstatic.
>> CA No. 9936
Trolls annoy me, especially "LOL UR A GIRL GAMER, GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN, FATTY" ones.

I mean, I don't mind so much if they're creative, but really, tired old clichés like that? Boring.

In other news, I bought my outfit for Rocky Horror. Cute little crinoline petticoat. Love it.
>> US No. 9937
I told off my psychiatrist this week. I flat out told him that I wasn't seeing any difference in what he was doing and that if he doesn't help me I'm done with therapists of any kind for good. Yeah, I know that sounds rash, but I've been seeing therapists of various kinds since elementary school, and I've literally been through more than ten of them since then. Only two were any good, and both moved and I couldn't continue seeing them. This one has been talked up by my parents, they constantly tell me about all the awards he's won and shit. That's nice, but it's quickly turning into the standard cycle of "I talk about how much I hate myself for an hour, you get paid". He's a genuinely nice guy who seems concerned, but I'm going to remind him every week to see if he's getting his shit together.

It's bad knowing that my parents started medicating me and taking me to therapy at such a young age because they said "I seemed unhappy". And the first guy they took me to was a complete pill dispenser. Now I'm at the point where I actually do need therapy (well that point was reached in middle school), but I can't help but wonder if what they did may have actually made things worse (especially my dad, he has the amazing ability to convince himself he's right when he isn't). I'm not on medication anymore because I refuse to take it. It wasn't helping my problems.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm likely going to be forever alone. I'm 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend (the closest "relationship" I ever had was not unlike "dating" in middle school kids -- you say you're together and do nothing together and "break up after a few weeks. Except this was in college and lasted for four months). I have no idea how to approach people about dating (literally no social life in high school. Not exaggerating at all. Any "friends" I had there don't care about me any more, I had to start over). People have told me I'm attractive, but obviously not, since I can't get any man interested. I wish they would stop being nice, I'm ugly and I know it. The thought of being an ugly, awkward permavirgin is terrifying and depressing, but I'm just going to have to get used to it. People have been feeding me bullshit like "hurr durr you just have to meet the right persons!!1!!" since I was 13. Even going and talking to friends is getting exhausting. Half the time I just fuck off to my dorm room after class and watch swing dance videos, put off homework, and don't talk to anyone.

PS: You know what's terrible? The fact that whenever I mention that I Swing Dance a good portion of the time the person will be like "Swingers? You mean like casual sex?" It makes me want to punch a bitch. I hate the fact that my biggest and most beloved hobby is associated with such things, but also that most of my friends are gigantic nerds who refuse to try (I mean, I'm a gigantic nerd, but I found out I had a sense of rhythm, and it's so much fun omg)

PPS: You know what else is terrible? The fact that some of the regulars at my college's swing dance club seem really friendly with one another and I feel like the odd one out all the time. Plus I'm pretty sure some of them don't like me for whatever reason

PPPS: Ballroom dancing is awful and terrible and I hate it

PPPPS: Dixieland jazz is the best jazz
>> CA No. 9938

My dear, you are not alone.

PS- I adore the Charleston.
>> US No. 9939
If forever alone at 20 meant forever alone forever-- heck, if alone at 20 with little to no social skills meant forever alone forever-- I never would have been born. So don't give up hope on an end to your forever alone-ity.

(she says, even though she's always feeling like that. Then again, at 26, I haven't even had... any kind of dating. Period. Ugh, quarterlife crisis. I need to have as much belief in myself as I have in random strangers over the Internet...)

And hey, swing dancing? Excellence. YES, dixieland jazz! Very awesome.

So, feelings. Lion King was fun. I slipped out to the bathroom unnoticed before the stampede and came back to Timon and Pumbaa. All the little kids were cute, and I never think kids are cute. Apparently I only think kids are cute if they're related to me or autistic. But one little boy was really excited about the popcorn popper and he pointed it out to me. Afterward, my mom and sister and I talked about how fun it was laughing at some of the parts we'd forgotten, and, you know, bouncing along to the musical numbers.

Then we picked up my bro and made a trip out to the flea market. We were picturing an actual flea market, but instead it was all produce vendors and people with stockpiles of new cheap crap they were selling, including leather goods. So I'm walking between stalls that smell like leather and different fruits and peppers, and the smell of the food trucks... I wound up so nauseated. (does not help that if I smell something I'm allergic to, it sets my stomach off as a defense mechanism against the natural inclination to eat something delicious, and I was allergic to some of the produce)

And of course the sun and the dustiness was not good for me, or for any of us, so we skipped out early and went to the bookstore. A combination of clearance table and hallowe'en stuff coming back meant a little early birthday shopping, though.

Then Target, I was exhausted by the time we were a quarter of a way through the store, I thought for sure when we got out to the car it would be time to do something about dinner-- it wasn't even three thirty. I had been out of the house before eight AM and aside from sitting through a movie, spent a lot of that time on my feet. Crazy day.
>> CA No. 9940
Have to print off 45 copies of our Actor expectations sheets- 2 pages per copy.

Get halfway through, have to deal with minor printer jam. While it decides to wake back up, I read over one of the sheets.

>> CA No. 9946
Woke up in the middle of the night, puked my guts out, and I'm not sure why. Woke up with this morning, and my throat is on fire.

But on the bright side, the city was supposed to shut off water to my neighborhood today, but I guess since they already did the street I'm on, we're exempt from it, since we still have water!

I also am mad that I cannot use emoticons every once in a while. I can understand using them excessively, but I still don't see the harm in putting one little happy face at the end of a happy sounding post. I'm twenty-two, and I use them all the time to express sentiments of joy or laughter (I've always preferred an 'I AM A FAGGOT HUMP MY RUMP' to an 'LOL'), or even sorrow, or incredulity.
I will still follow the rules, of course, but it's one thing that's bothering me at the moment, because, unthinking, I will often type a smiley face into my posts, and then be forced to proofread it, to make sure I didn't put any more in.
>> GB No. 9948
Feeling a bit crap over the stupidest thing.

A few weeks ago I had an accident on the dry-ski slope, going down backwards. Ended up landing on my head/neck, with a concussion and luckily only a chipped tooth. Nearly bit through my tongue. The problem is I'm fucking terrified of going back there now.


It's just snowboarding, parents, and just this one slope. Calm the fuck down. I'm not a total failure at life just because of this.

ALSO: just because I have ovaries doesn't mean that whenever I'm angry you have to ask me "OH, IS IT THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, EH?"

No, it's not fucking well that time of the month. You just said something genuinely offensive to me and my shouting at you is justified.
>> GB No. 9951
I just feel so listless lately. I can't bring myself to write, but I am drawing more than usual... my rp group will only play with me if I forcefully shove myself in there and piss everyone off. Oh and it's being taken over my weeaboos. Mum's also thrown her back out so I'm doing everything for her. Dad is a useless prat, brother is a whingey asshole...same as always I guess? Roll on when my girlfriend gets a UK passport.
>> US No. 9955
Too tired to write. So I'm spending my time watching "You Suck At Photoshop". It's nice to be lazy again.
>> US No. 9956
Ugh, I know how you feel-- only with me it's not 'that time of the month?', it's 'did you remember to take your pills?'. Sometimes I can be upset and on Prozac at the same time.

So, today: First wake up, hope that I'm just having really bad allergies and some inexplicable soreness from sleeping wrong. Look at the time. It's five thirty PM. Realize I have a killer cold. Good thing I don't have a real job to get fired from, I guess.

Know I need to go to bed early if I want to have a normal person's sleep schedule ever, and get over said cold, but after sleeping all day, I really, really don't want to go right back to bed, sick or not. But I can only do so much in terms of willing myself not to be sick.

Well, have to go to the doctors' tomorrow anyway-- thought it was awesome that my back wasn't really bad after the minor car accident, but since then it's been not getting any better, and occasionally getting worse, and I need to be able to do laundry.

Also; dear family, when my back is out, it's okay for other people to do dishes. Had to deal with at least two kinds of mold in the sink, with my back in-and-out of commission, felt like vomiting all over the dishes.

My sister got to go antiquing with my mom without me, while I was being miserable with my cold, but they're planning to take me with at the start of next month, so if there's something I really like, my mom might get it for me for my birthday. That takes the sting out of missing a fun trip.
>> DE No. 9957
Still no news from the therapy side of things, but at least I got green light from my school for taking a break and focusing on getting my wreck of an emotional state fixed. So at least that is cleared.

On the bad side, I learned from my doc that I apparently have a chronical pancreas dysfunction, likely caused by all my stress and shit. There is a chance that it goes away at some point, but for now, I have to take some heavy enzym meds whenever I eat something or my stomach will cramp up so hard it makes me cry. Oh man.
>> US No. 9959
I can't sleep on the nights before college. Ever.

I don't know if I'm nervous and don't realize it, or stressed and don't realize it, or if my own mind is just an asshole and saying "HA HA, YOU HAVE TO BE UP AT 7AM, FUCK YOU."

Last night it was my allergies. I woke up literally incapable of breathing through my nose at 5:30. I don't know what's got me set off so much these past couple of days... I've tried Zicam and Benedryl and Allerclear and Claritin and a hundred other things, and the only thing that ever gives me the ability to use my nose at all is Afrin nasal spray, and god knows that's probably not great to use every goddamn night. But there comes a point when I'm desperate.

My mom thinks its dust in my sheets. Even though I washed them three days ago. She refuses to accept the fact (yes, FACT; we've known this my whole life) that I am allergic to our two cats.

I'm so tireddd.
>> US No. 9960
Is it so weird that I don't really wanna have kids? I'm not really even sure I want a relationship; I've never been all lovey dovey and I simply don'[t know how to be a girlfriend. I'm always awkward and tense. I'm just not really a people person. I mean I have close friends and such but still. I'm 27, still a virgin and fine with that, and, due to my mild anxiety and the economy, I'm still living with my parents. I miss the 6 months I spent living alone in my apartment with my 3 cats and my fish tank. I like being alone. I get so annoyed when I'm doing something and mom asks me to come help her with something. I mean I know it's only fair that I should help, but I feel like a kid still. I'd like my computer repair business (terrellcomputersolution.com) to get enough business that I can live by myself but that's not gonna happen. I live in a rural area and people tend to go to people and places that charge more, or get friends to do it for them. Mom babysits a 1 year old, and while I care about her I don't really like watching her while mom's doing something. I don't know what to do and she's kinda spoiled. I grew up on a farm with animals and no other kids. Animals I understand. People, not so much. Mom keeps saying that I don't wanna be alone. No one to take care of me when I'm older, no where to go on holidays. One of her friends is alone and she seems happy enough. I want to feel like an adult again. My parents are great and all, but sometimes they're a bit too helpful and makes me feel like a teenager again.
>> US No. 9962
It's not weird at all. I can't stand kids and I don't want to have any either. I don't know how to relationship either.
>> CA No. 9963
I can relate.
I am almost 24 years old and I still live with my parents because of the economy. I love my parents, but they (well..its more my mother) treat me as if I was a 16 year old trouble maker. Its funny too because I am a very quiet, loner type person. I have never done drugs, I drink once every 3 or 4 months; I am talking 1 or 2 coolers..I am not a big drinker, I don't like partying or any of that stuff.
Things like staying out late sometimes I get why my mom would freak out because I live near a sketchy area..but if I am out late I am usually with someone or I take transit, so I am safe. Most of the time, what ever I might say or do, its wrong..even if it is right.
I have a group of friends I hang out with once and awhile and we all play games like DnD or random video games. They usually all crash at this one persons place to keep the game going, and the persons place is just a few blocks away..but of course I can't stay the night because there are guys and my mom gets ideas that we are going to have some sex parties or something awful..I really need to move out.
>> US No. 9964
HA HA HA! You tiny babies still living with parents!

I am too. It is very bad.

I'm looking into possibly getting a room with someone I graduated with. Shit has gotten incredibly silly; its not even that home life is unbearable. I want to be able to do what I want, damn it, even if that means doing what I want is in a single bedroom apartment with roaches. The roaches are for company.

I never want children either. It actually led to a somewhat messy, extremely butthurt breakup between me and a long time beau. He wanted to take things to the next level, but my firm "no children, ever ever ever" ruined any chance of anything long term and serious.

Mostly I never want children because...look at me! I am 24 years old with good education and full time job but cannot into moving out. I have a feeling by the time any horrible little nutbasket to spawn of my womb is old enough for college, you'll need a PhD just to clean toilets and live in an alleyway.

Also I want to into relationships again but I'm too busy! Ha ha! My life is sad!
>> DE No. 9965

Okay guys, before you are all: I´m 24 years old and therefore old or whatever.

You are all still young. (Yes even with 27 you are still young Miss.) You live is far from over and everything can happen in the next years.

My aunt as exapmle decided to get a child at the age of 30 with a stabil home, job and family to offer for her child. And i need to say the little one has a really good life with much love and fun.

I don´t have now anything against your: No children ever politic, because it´s your body, your life, your decision. And it´s okay.
Just to say. Anything can happen. (I so don´t say it, because i did need to hear recently again your 20 almost 21 and still living by your grandparents? Get a life. Sometimes i don´t see the fun behind these kinds of jokes anymore.)
>> CA No. 9967
I hate eating chips in a low-cut shirt.

Now I'm mining for Pringles in the cavernous space between my boobs.
>> US No. 9968
Thanks guys, I feel more normal now :)

Hilarious mental image.
>> US No. 9969
Last year I was bothered that pretty much no one liked me. This year still no one likes me, but I don't like them either. All my old friends moved away or stopped talking to me, only two friends still talk to me on the internet. So I spend my days alone with the dog. I still don't have a girlfriend, or even anyone that I am even slightly attracted to that hasn't moved away, but that is alright, the idea of actually having a relationship terrifies me. I do get lonely though. At least when I was still in school I had friends. Now it is boring here. "Oh online college is perfect for you", yes it is much easier, but it's so damn boring.

I'm tired. I always seem to reflect on my life when I'm tired, but the thoughts come out strange.
>> US No. 9971
That happens with me and popcorn. Joked that it was a magic tank top/popcorn popper.

Actually, it happens with me and a lot of things. If I'm wearing a sports bra, forget about it. I get changed for bed and find that somehow during the cooking process I managed to get shredded cheese all up in there.
>> CA No. 9974
I have it happen with sugared donuts ALL the time.

I once joked and said I had sweet boobs.
>> GB No. 9975
Not good. My cat's just been admitted to the vet's for blood tests. She's lost a kilo in three months. They think it could be kidney or thyroid problems but given her age they're not ruling out tumours.
I'm scared. I've had her for twelve years. I don't know how I'll cope without her.
>> US No. 9976
It's a good place to hold a cold can of pop on a hot day though!

Aww *hugs* I hope your kitty doesn't have a serious problem. It's possible to treat many things like that though. Keep us updated!
>> DE No. 9978
Tomorrow is a big day which will decide if everything i planned the last months will go smoothly or not...

Kinda wished i got to talk to special person, before i have this day tomorrow.
>> US No. 9980
File 131725489860.jpg - (5.34KB , 237x213 , youvegottobekiddingme.jpg )
>Make and eat dinner
>Sign on to Facebook
>Messages from Scoutpapa
"Oh, he probably misses me, he's usually cute like that."
>accuses me of being on facebook and ignoring him for ten minutes
>then accuses me of cheating on him because of a picture taken at Otakon

Um, no. I am schedule-oriented. You know that I leave my laptop in the living room at 6 to go make dinner. You know that I don't finish dinner and dishes until shortly after 7:30 when Jeopardy's over. You know I'm not near my laptop anywhere in that timeframe, why are you accusing me of being online and ignoring you?

And seriously? I'm marrying you. You know how my mind works, how I can't do something guilt-inducing and not feel it, much less tell you about it. You know that I can't physically be attracted to anyone but you. Why are you accusing me of cheating on you because of a picture in the middle of the Hellsing photoshoot at Otakon? I gave you the name of the chapter that the pose is taken from. It is not sexual in the slightest. Integra is hurt, she shields her shoulder and holds a gun in her other hand. I'm making a seductive face? Bullshit, and you know it. I was wearing glasses that were higher than my perscription most of the weekend, and you knew that I was either squinting or blinking the entire time to stave off headaches... not to mention that the picture you're claiming as evidence is too blurry for you to even see the expression on my face.

And then you tell me that you're too angry and sign off? How about me being angry over you accusing me of all of this nonsensical bullshit? I'm not your fat whore ex-girlfriend. Stop it with this shit.
>> US No. 9981
And suddenly everything was fixed. How the fuck did that happen?
>> CA No. 9982

Love will find a way? [/cliché]

Mah feelings.
I've bitten off more than I can chew with this props dealie. SO MUCH FUCKING PRESSURE. AHHHHH.
>> US No. 9984
Do not want to have to see a chiropractor. Hopefully the new pain meds (stronger than Naproxen, not as strong as Vicodin) will allow me to do all the PT stretches necessary to fix my back without. (My x-rays are fine, so, at least there's that...)

I just want to be able to do laundry again. I do the laundry for three people, and apparently nobody but me can do dishes in this house, so I need to be operational. (Okay, that's not fair, my bro sometimes does dishes, and he takes care of his own laundry all the time, but kitchen mess really piled up when my back was out this time and I had to deal with some mold)

The doctor who was in today was named 'Love'. I swear there is nothing quite like having your physician walk into the room and say 'I'm Doctor Love' with no irony/awareness...
>> CA No. 9985
My mom works with a pathologist whose name is 'Doctor Doctor'.
It's never not funny.

(There is an MD in my captcha, no less.)
>> US No. 9986
Fuck. Why is it that whenever I run across hot cosplayers on the internet, they live on different continents? I want to try talking to this guy, but I am sure I will just come off as a total creep. I feel like a creep even mentioning this.
>> CA No. 9988
Okay, still smiling about this, and I thought I would share.

I LOVE rehearsals, because funny things happen, even when the scene is not funny. Our Bob Cratchit last night started singing The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song, and we all thought it was funny.
But he messed up one of the lyrics. "My Mom got mad" instead of scared, and the Assistant Director and I noticed, and I remarked, "Is there even a place that rhymes with 'Bad'?"


The Fresh Prince of Islamabad.

Sad thing is, I could almost see this as an actual show. The fuck is wrong with me?
>> GB No. 9989
Cat update: it's her kidneys. Which at least isn't a tumour. But that's about the only up-side. We're taking her to a specialist tomorrow. They're a LONG way away, but hopefully they can do something. Except maybe not. She's not exactly young and the op has risks, and I feel like we're taking her to her death.
Tension is high in the house - mother is confined to bed after op to deal with arthritis in her feet, sister is absent as has left for uni already, so father and I are doing everything. Except it's mostly me. And I am the wettest wet blanket ever, especially under stress as my natural response to being told I am about as much use as a chocolate teapot is to apologise profusely and burst into tears, both of which I have been doing a lot of today.
I wish I could just curl up in a hole for a few weeks.
>> DE No. 9990
Okay, the enzyms aren't helping one bit. I took a bite of vegetable pizza and got such heavy cramps I cringed. Some stomach medicine helped, but still. Fuck man. I'm so scared.

I feel so down I don't even talk to Chi much at all. What the hell.

I'm sorry for venting like this, guys, but I just don't know anymore. I hope you don't feel forgotten or betrayed or annoyed or whatever. I still love you all. But in the state I'm in, I can't even gather the courage to go outside or interact with people. I'm sorry.
>> DE No. 9991

Perry, you from all people i would think as the last one that you would forget us or just ignore us. Everyone has these days were he doesn´t really want to talk to certain people or people in generell.

But it´s good to know, that you are still alive and why we don´t see you much.

I hope you are getting soon better and all.

And don´t forget if you want to chat with someone or just talk about your problems (were someone just listens to you and can´t give really good advise), just drope me a message.
>> DE No. 9992
File 131732324858.jpg - (98.01KB , 800x600 , HUUUUGS.jpg )
Man, stop being the nicest thing ever, you are the best! Knowing that people like you exist and are willing to help me and others cheers me up a bit, really. It means a lot. Keep it up, okay?

And whatever it is that you are longing for, I hope that you achieve it.

PS: You and everyone else deserves another box full of hugs.
>> US No. 9997
File 131736922064.jpg - (5.59KB , 194x212 , 130886757357.jpg )
Trying not to rage online about silly bsns and general idiocy is hard sometimes.

See: http://tf2chan.net/dis/res/8849.html#9054

(When everything started going to shit.)
>> GB No. 10000
Decided to change up my server rotation today, because 24 hour 2fort is boring after the first week. Joined my first Arena game and watched as one guy proceeded to insult every race under the sun and then say something about Medics being a W+M1 class (and then called for Medic, look at me laugh). I lagged out of that one and joined another Arena match to a guy that called me a shitty Medic for healing Scouts. Despite them having next to no health. And me having the Quick Fix.

>> CA No. 10001
I hate all the W+M1 hate. That is how you move forward, and that is how you fire your primary weapon. I don't see what's wrong with moving forward and firing your primary weapon.

As a Pyro, I get that hate A LOT. Had a guy on one server trolling me for it. Drove me crazy. So I spent the day running around like a crab (side to side), and airblasting him constantly, just to prove a point. Pissed him off to no end.
>> CA No. 10004
I'm pleased, my doctor officially decided to halt me menses. Not more blood, no more spending on tampons, no more avoiding sex for a forth of the month.

All and all it's good times.
>> GB No. 10005
Cat Update: Crisis over. Today we drove 150 miles and spent £1400 to be told she had a kidney stone. Operative word being "had", as she seems to have passed it some time in the last 24 hours. She is now fine, although she does have traces of kidney disease which can be controlled by diet, and which is not unexpected in a cat of her age. She's staying at the specialists' over the weekend so they can keep an eye on her.
These last three days have been quite possibly the most stressful days of my life. But the story has a happy ending. Phew.
>> GB No. 10006
The most hilarious part being the guy was a Scout and he'd just sit in a corner and hide the whole match.
>> US No. 10010
Risking appearing as a creep has paid off handsomely. 8D
>> US No. 10014
I am so glad to hear you got good cat news.
>> DE No. 10017
Today is my birthday. I´m now 21 years old!
And it was even a nice day. It was sunny and warm and the sky was a wonderfull blue. My family came and celebrated with me. Everything was okay... until some events came up which spoiled it a bit.

But still it´s a nice birthday.
>> US No. 10018
Happy birthday!

Ugh, this is the calm before the storm on schoolwork. I'm just sitting here staring at my calendar in dread of how many exams and essays I have coming up. Unfortunately I don't have study guides or prompts yet (for some reason we only get our prompts the day before), so I can't even start. I have exams in three classes the same week, essays in two classes, I have to go see a mandatory play which I haven't even gotten my tickets for yet, and I need to buy materials for my sculpture class. One of the exams is at 4pm, while my last class gets out at 1:30, so I have to hang around campus for two and a half hours unless I want to lose my parking space that I have to get at 8:30am.

I know I'm bitching about stuff every college kid goes through. But it's always just felt like such a pointless, screwed up system to me. I've started now, so I'm going to at least get my associate's degree, but I think I'm done after that.
>> US No. 10019
Finally, after months of research and deciding, I'm finally getting a new computer, this time a desktop since my current laptop is having trouble playing newer games well and it's running out of room on my hard drive. Now I just have to wait a couple of weeks for them to make it.
>> US No. 10021
I was feeling great until I was reminded of how disposable I am. In a metaphorical sense, this soldier does not like being expendable to everyone I come across.
>> US No. 10022
Happy birthday!

So. Did not get out to the new antique place my sister told me about (our plan was to go there, then take my mom to a restaurant built in/around an old train, since tomorrow is what would have been my parents' thirtieth anniversary. Not everyone was up to it, we didn't get out of town)

Since that place was off the table, we went to the local antique mall, but it was haggle day and their business anniversary, so things were crazy awesome. I resisted the temptation of an antique fireman's helmet, but...

I BOUGHT AN ANTIQUE MICROPHONE! It's, oh man, it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I mean, I'm totally into old radio and stuff, and just... Wow. It was going for sixty bucks and I was thinking there was no way I was going to be able to swing that, but I got it down to forty-four, and so I bought it for myself as an early birthday present to me, because when am I ever going to find another one?

It has its cord, but I don't think it still works. I might give it a test, though. It's gorgeous as just a piece to have around, so it's not like I need it to (also, I'm pretty loud). But now that I own it, I might have to put together an Announcer cosplay...
>> US No. 10024
Super mega good news: Scoutpapa and I are officially engaged, I now have the ring to prove it! Words can't even right now.

Also, after quite some time of me telling him that he needs to start playing TF2, he's finally going to download it. And he's decided, from testing out each class under his friend's account. He's decided that Spy is his favorite. (irony?) I see a future cosplay on the horizon. Of course, right after I sent my Scoutmama dress to Goodwill.
>> DE No. 10026
Happy birthday, dear Karnickel! Stay awesome.

Congratulations! It warms my heart to see people happy. You two have a bright future, I hope!
>> CA No. 10032
My body clearly thinks that I haven't been in enough pain lately... I got a wisdom tooth pulled last monday (the last one thankfully, and of course the most painful...), then a few days later I get sick. Now I have to deal with period cramps on top of everything. I'm hoping that by going through all of this now it means I'll be in perfect health for November.


On a completely unrelated note, Psychonauts now on the Mac!! There is a God!!
>> US No. 10034
Aw, hooray! Best (official) wishes.
>> US No. 10035
I'm so stressed out about where I'm going to live. I can't stand cities, apartments or the suburbs, and I can't stand where I live now (still with my family even though I'm an adult now), so I want to move somewhere very remote. But I don't really have the money, and my only skill is freelance illustration, which I'm not even that good at and too nervous to take any job. I just really don't want to stay in this city because it's wearing me down, and I don't know what'll happen to me if I get as depressed as I once was.
>> US No. 10037
I just ate a Hostess cupcake 100 cal. snack thingy that wound up leaving a chemical-y taste in my mouth and now I am afraid to go to sleep.

What the hell was wrong with those tiny cupcakes?

Do I feel sick because they've gone horribly off or do I feel sick because I'm the kind of person who gets psychosomatic symptoms?

I am severely freaked out right now. Over cupcakes. This is not how my life was supposed to go...