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1 .


This. I so loathe the "you don't know every single slang of every single country for anything sex-related ever? You must be a child/virgin!" attitude.

Anyway, I have a prompt, it's RED Spy/BLU Scout's mum with non-slash RED Spy + BLU Scout shenanigans.

RED Spy is carrying out a job in Boston, an assassination of a mafia boss, but something goes wrong and he is injured. Meanwhile, BLU Scout is spending a much-deserved vacation at his mother's place.

That night, Scout and Ma are woken up by the noises of somebody breaking in, and they go to beat the shit out what they assume to be the dumbest thief in Boston. The figure in the dark goes down after a single hit, and when the light is turned on, it reveals an extremely not-amused and semi-dead Spy, who has come looking for help from his petite chou-fleur. Despite Scout's incredulous protests, Ma immediately agrees to harbour Spy and take care of him until he is fully healed.

From there, go crazy with any idea you can come up with!

Maybe a funny fic where Spy and Ma want to have some private times together but Scout keeps desperately trying to cockblock, or maybe the resentment and culture clash escalate to a small-scale-yet-parodically-OTT version of the war.
Maybe a more serious fic where Scout and Spy grudgingly learn to get along for Ma's sake.
Maybe an angsty fic about Scout's daddy issues because his father was a total asshole, and either Scouts resents any guy who gets close to his Ma, or despite the assholery he still wants his father back and hates Spy for "stealing" his father's spot, or he just can't stand the thought of having freaking RED Spy as a father figure.
Maybe the mafia tracks down Spy and kidnaps Ma, and Spy and Scout have to work together to save her. Or maybe, while Ma is out, Scouts notices the mafia guys approaching but chooses to close and eye and let them capture Spy to get rid of him, but then Ma massively guilt-trips him into going together to rescue Spy.

There are so many possibilities! Two or more different fics could have that very same prologue and then go in completely different ways with completely different mood and characterizations. Let me see how you choose to write the prompt :)