Scout, he's an idiot, but he's one of my favorite idiots. I had no beta, no braincells, and no sleep when I started to write this ages ago. I recently only got back into writing so I'm revamping this fic. Now with eventual Scout/Tentaspy because I like the couple more than I probably should! And yeah the spelling errors are intentional. It IS Scout. If anyone wants to beta please let me know! January 12th 1968: Okay, so here's the deal. My Ma wants me to keep track of things, like what my new job is like and how people treat me, y'know that shit. So she got me a diary, do I look like the kinda guy who has a diary to you? The answer is no. Even if it's black leather and it's got a gold thingamabob to close it up it's still pretty gay. But it was Ma's idea and she's, y'know, my Ma. When it comes to her you'd have to be fucked in the head to mess with her, even I know that. I got almost no info about the new job, just that I'll be heading out to a fucking desert for a few months or some shit to work for the Builders somethin or other United. I'm a 'Scout', I can't tell anyone my name and nobody can tell me their names or else I get fired. Can't even say it in here I guess. Least I didn't end up havin' to enlist. I fucking hate the army. My oldest brother, Jason, he was in the army but got killed. His funeral was the worst day of my life. Jason was the one who held us together when Pop got killed in a car crash. Pop was a good man from what I remember sure, but he was gone before I got to kindergarten. Jason was the best of us, only fourteen when he started workin in the autoshop nearby, paying for extra things we needed. I don't know when he found time to sleep. He graduated valedictorian and took over the bussiness when the owner retired. Jason got married to Lisbeth Parker, and they had two kids Kevin and Keith last summer. He and I coached the little league team. Then he got drafted for Vietnam. Ma cried for days and my other brothers came home for a while to help her out. None of us could cook though so Ma ended up tryin to teach us again. We burned everything we touched and nothing tasted good. When we finally got a quiche thing started and it seemed right Mike and Alan started horsing around. Long story short Alan got pissed and cracked the eggs on Mike's head. It probably wasn't useful but it kept Ma distracted. We also got Jason's personal stuff, like his watch, the bible Ma got him for confirmation, a picture of us all and his clothes. I always wear his dog tags. They remind me I got a family to work for. So I'm on a train now, headed to where-the-fuck-istan until my contract ends. No chicks, no baseball and none of my Ma's cooking until Thanksgiving. Dumb fucking Diary. Stupid Job. I'm bored now and don't got much to do besides look out the window and see a bunch of cows eating grass. I'm gonna fall asleep and miss my stop, Just you watch. -Scout
I, for one, am looking forward to this...
Yeah me too.
Good to hear it scrambled bananas, anon. January 13th 1968 This job is either a pile of ‘do-not-want’ or amazing. Not sure which yet. I showed up yesterday at the last stop where the conductor guy kicked me off. I was in the middle of some little hick town with a duffle bag, the clothes on my back and a drink I bought from the station’s outpost. It’s called Bonk! It’s got so much sugar in it (or something) that I felt like if I moved I’d be a freakin’ blur! I’m gonna have to buy some more later. So, anyways, I waited for like ten fuckin’ hours before a truck showed up. It was a real beat up ford F-100 with a blue paint job. The guy who got out when it parked was short with goggles and overalls on. This was Engie, my ONLY friend so far. “Howdy boy.†He said with this big grin. First thing I learned about Engie was he was southern, like as southern as the SOUTH POLE. “You Scout?†I nodded and tried not to say something stupid or make fun of his accent. For once I succeeded. Thank you, whoever invented that Ritalin shit. Engie helped me load my stuff in the truck bed and got behind the wheel. “Move ‘em out boy!†he said smiling like I was an old fucking friend or something. “You mute or something?†he asked during the drive, I looked away from the tiny little main street we were going down and faced him. “No. I’m just tryin’ not to say somethin’ stupid.†He laughed at me and I felt my ears turn red. “Boy, not talkin’ is just worse. Trust me, if the shy one is tellin’ you that then it says somethin’.†“You don’t seem shy at all man! You were all ‘howdy pardner’ and ‘get along lil’ doggie’ when you got out of the truck!†By that time we were headed down a dirt road, only a few buildings around now. “And I’m not shy or nothin’ I just don’t want to make a shitty impression with how awesome I am!†nice lie there Scout. You sounded like a douche. But Engie just laughed again. “Boy you got some spunk, I’ll give you that. But just be yerself and it’ll be way easier.†Then he motioned to the radio and told me to find somethin’ I liked. I messed around with it for a little before finding a station. “-in the sunlight laughing, Hiding behind a rainbow's wall†I am NOT gay or nothin’ but I love that song. So I started singing along. Yea my voice is crap but fuck you, you’re a book. You ain’t got ears so what do you know? “Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da†Engie laughed and joined in, he’s way better than me anyways. I ain't never touched an instrument besides when I helped to carry Vince's guitar to his gigs. “You got a brown eyed girl back home?†he asked me after we finished the song. Light My Fire came on next but I don’t know the words. “Nah. I used to have a girlfriend but we broke up in highschool. I don’t even remember if she had brown eyes or not.†“Shucks, I’m sorry.†He said. He meant it too. “You got anyone?†“Nah, didn’t even have any ties to cut when I left.†I was about to say somethin’ nice but then my seatbelt tried to cut my fucking head off when we stopped. “Well, welcome home boy.†It was huge, like a fucking fortress. It was at least as big as Fort Warren back home or somethin’ only new. Big concrete walls and lots of blue everywhere and a fence. A huge ass chain-link fence that the picture of a guy getting struck by lightning told me I shouldn’t touch. Ever. I had to kick open the door to keep lookin’ at it. It wasn’t hard cause the damn truck is so rusty. I walked in the door and the first thing I heard was “MAGGOT!†First thing a saw was something metal comin’ at my head and the first thing they heard from my mouth was me screaming like a little bitch. Dunno how but I ducked and rolled away. Those years of brawling with my brothers came in handy. Welcome wagon my ass! Some guy with a helmet and a shovel was behind me and glaring like I’d raped his family, in alphabetical order. He raised that damn thing and yelled somethin’ like “RED team maggot!†before taking a swung at my head again. “Solly! That’s a Red Sox shirt! This is the new Scout!†‘Solly’ didn’t listen and chased me around for a good ten minutes until he got winded. Engie finally calmed him down introduced me as the BLU Scout. BLU! As in not red you fag! “He looks like a bleeder.†Helmet for brains growled. “How would you know if ya didn’t hit me once moron?†There went a first impression I’d never get back. Then again bucket bitch wasn’t setting the bar too high himself. I’m not even gonna tell you what happened with the other people. Let’s just say they’re all freaks. Heavy’s kinda nice but like a big shaved bear that’ll eat my skull if I piss him off, his buddy Medic tried to put a needle somewhere NOTHING should ever go. Ever. Sniper and Demoman I guess I haven’t really met yet. See Demoman was fucking wasted and the Sniper guy was helping him get to his room without breaking his neck. Solly, well Soldier really, is a big ol’ bag of fun as I said before. Pyro was all rubbery and shit, didn’t even take the fucking mask off, just mumbled shit at me as a way to say hi. The last one, Spy, I haven’t met him yet. I hope he’s like James Bond. How fucking cool would that be? Maybe he'd be like Alan only super-spy style! So anyways I found out why I can’t dicuss this job with anyone. God it was hard to build up a history or story back or whatever the hell my Ma says makes a book better but I thought it’s be good to write all the shit down before I forgot any. Anyways, I’m supposed to kill people. For money. There’s somethin’ called respawn that brings ya back if you die. Kinda like the lives in Pinball, you die and boop, right back to life. So yea. Tomorrow morning I go hit people with a bat for a paycheck. Maybe this job ain’t so bad. -Scout [the following page and a half are written with a bit more deliberate wording, as if scout had taken the time later that day to plan it out] Guess I should put down who's who by the way. Feels weird writing it since I know them but I guess I should do it anyways. Jason was the oldest, 30, on the level of god in my book. I told you all about him and I don't want to say no more right now. Richard is gonna be 29 in a few months and he's a cop. Real friendly, real tough but always goes kinda sad if he doesn't know you're watching Danny and Vince are the first twins and they're 27. They're the co-owners of this cool little pub near the water called “The Smiling Sirenâ€. Danny is a great barkeep, all understanding and nonjudemental and just real easy to chat with. He's fucking smart too, helped me out with my homework all the time. Vince runs the bussiness side of it all and plays on open mike nights. He's the funniest one who Ma says was lucky enough to get pop's voice. He's always been a ham but hey, he's my brother. Alan is 26 and he's a security officer at a bank. No nonsense sorta guy. He's way too serious and hardly ever smiles. (I hope ma never reads this part but he's my least favorite. Always beat me up if I bugged him too much.) Mike and Marty are the other twins They're 21. Mike is an electrician and he's got a bit of a prank-happy streak (Drove Alan nuts when we were kids) that is balanced out with a heart a gold and this sort of... I guess it's charm that gets him so much tail. Marty says he's a writer and workin as a concierge is a “temporary thingâ€. Sure buddy, maybe if you wrote porn it'd sell. He was always trying to be the more mysterious one. There's me. I'm 19 now. Yadda yadda, youngest, nothing special here. I got average grades, average motivation and was the least exciting, least amazing and least special out of my brothers. And nobody ever lets me forget it. Then there was Pop. He was great from what I remember. Ma has a picture of just him and me. I love that picture and the story behind it. When I was little I used to lie on the living room rug and just imagine I was his favorite because of that. I'm three in that picture and he has me on his shoulders and we're laughin and smilin outside, by the mailbox and I've got this baseball in one hand and the other hand is in his hair. You can just tell he's my dad. I got his eyes (green), his nose (wonky), his laugh (kinda annoying I think), even his kinda coppery hair. He took me to my first baseball game that day. Just us. He was a huge baseball fan, loved it more than anybody. And he caught a fly ball that day. We waited and got it signed and everything and Pop walked me home on his shoulders. Ma got the camera out and took a snap of it. He died about four weeks later. It was nobody's fault, Pop just wasn't looking I guess. He was crossing the street and figured he could dash past since it was quiet at that moment. The police said he died on impact. Poor Ma. She was heartbroken. Cried for weeks whenever she saw us. Took time off from her job as a nurse to just adjust I guess. But she is: If nothing else, one tough mamma bear. Once she pulled herself back together she went to night school, worked like a maniac and Jason paid for whatever she couldn't. She found time to make our lunches, keep the house clean and still do her nails. She became a pediatrician when I was nine (which is a kid's doctor). Made it impossible for me to fake sick too but whatever. Now you know, moving on. Goodnight, for real this time. -Scout
You. Are awesome and your story is really great. It kinda shines a whole new light on scout (or at least for me). Do continue.
I'm liking this, it has good characterisation and I'm interested to see how you get to porn from here. Also, who knew that Ritalin started being prescribed in the 1960s? Not me, that's for sure. Minor critique, you might want to leave out parentheticals like the bit telling us how the diary was written. We can see that this section's a little better thought-out. Show us, don't tell us. You're really a good enough author not to need that kind of thing.
>>5 No! Comments with only back-patting, my one weakness! Honestly thanks though, I'm glad it's a new side of Scout for you June >>6 Holy Balls, It's Marty. I am bewildered by your glory. No seriously I'm bewildered. I name one of the brothers after you and you pop up. Thanks for the tip with the use of parentheticals. Also don't worry, porn will come once the time arrives. I just prefer plot with my porn. In general putting out an APB for concrit. I want it more than I want to see the new users fall for the tried and true "ekks-dee" word filter. January 21 1968 Damn rockets, Damn Solly, don’t care which one. Damn ‘em both. Fuck Spy, he turned out to be a bitch. Damn everybody here except Red and Engie. Been here over a week man! The least they could do is smile, or save some hot water or tell me that those jars are NOT full of lemonade. Assfag-Wombat-Man uses them for piss. PISS! WHY THE FUCK WAS THERE PISS IN THE FRIDGE?! So anyway, I killed someone on my third day, after getting my ass shot a hundred billion times in a row (well maybe not SHOT. I also was burning to death, getting stabbed, needled, punched, decapitated, peed on, drowned, blown up and hit with rockets) The guy I killed was a sniper. Take that you bastard. I killed his ass with this cool thing called a scattergun. It’s like a shotgun, only it’s way smaller, like my size. What was I- oh yea, used the scattergun on Sniper then I got shot, again. That respawn shit is WEIRD. You don’t know what happens until you just wake up, clean and y’know, not swiss cheese with legs. Third day I was too tired, to angry to stick around do I went outside and headed for the outskirts of this damn place where I could hide in peace. It’s called Goldrush I think. I went towards a building that looks like god took a pair of cleats and kicked the ever-loving shit out of it. So I go in there, thinking I can avoid Solly yelling at me and the asshole Spy calling me “mon petit chihuahua con queso chou chou†or whatever the shit it is. By now I think I should know NOTHING I think will go right ever does. So I was actually surprised when I bumped into someone who was limping away from the battle. Red looks a lot like me, not as hot but he’d definately give my brothers a nice little reality check. He’s got brown hair though and blue eyes, like fucking electric blue eyes. I almost did n’t realize I should be trying to shoot him until he tried to shove me and ground out a few words. “Assclown! The hell is your problem Blue?†“Watch it rat fucker! I’m walkin’ here!†“You watch it cockmouth!†“Your MOM is a cockmouth!†Long story short: We had a nice little scuffle, no guns or nothin’. Just hands. By the time we stopped the match was over and we were all beat up. “You hit like a pussy.†He huffed out at me. “Least I don’t got one.†He laughed, goddamn he looked like he could have been one of my brothers for real. “Truce?†“Until work, yea sure.†Then we both started laughing. It hurt sure but it was a good kinda hurt, like after running a long ways or roughing your brothers up. I hadn't thought I'd miss them when I took this job. Anyways, enough pansy crying, I got a new friend out of it and he's a Sox fan from Boston turns out. For all I know he went to school with Richard or Danny and Vince. I hope not. I was a fucking brat to their friends. Red’s been here for two years, the guy before me, my predocessor or pedocessor or whatever it is decided to head home with a signifigantly fatter wallet around thanksgiving. Anyways Red’s cool. He told me that I can always come to him. Even if I’m BLU or RED or fucking magenta, if I need some help. Turns out I think I’ll need whatever help I can get with these jerks. More later. -Scout
I'd critique this chapter - I really would - but I'm still too busy laughing at Assfag-Wombat-Man.
And because I had it in the backlog, an extra part today. February 2 1968 Nothing around here is normal. At all. You want proof? It's been a while now since we got to be buddies. Red and I like hanging out after hours. He’s wicked good at cards and I always loose but I can kick his ass when it comes to swimming. Yea, I know, February and shit but it’s the freakin’ desert. I went outside for a jog one morning without sunblock and came back smelling like bacon. I avoided Heavy like a yankees fan so he wouldn’t try to have my ass for lunch by the way. Since so it’s hot and we tried swimming in the water between bases in 2Fort. I actually know some places now. How amazing am I? We dove in and swam around for a while and I dunked him. A LOT. Take that you old fart. He’s 27 by the way, he turns 28 in May. Hey I made a rhyme! I’m Dr. Freakin’ Seuss! Yea, we were swimming today and suddenly this weird ass sort of yell comes from behind Red, towards these tunnel thing Engie says are called aquaducks, kinda weird to name anything after ducks they’re damn useless little balls of feathers compared to other birds. Still when he heard that scream Red stopped trying to noogie me and looked over there like he’d seen a ghost. “Jesus H Christ†he breathed “Scoots! Come on, time to haul ass!†I’ve been hangin’ with Red for a few weeks now and fighting him a little longer so trust me when I say this guy is a fucking maniac. He’s not scared of Pyros, he won’t give up when he’s looking down the business ends of rockets or sentries. He’s got a bat and sheer badass on his side so seeing him scared means I should run, swim, whatever, just get the fuck out! It must have been eight or so and the sun had gone down long enough ago that everything was dark. Red and I got up on the banks and the yell turned into a scream, like a dog that’s hungry and sees meat it can’t nab. I wasn’t scared or nothing, just cold and wet. You shiver when you’re cold. Red dragged me away from the water and behind a barrel. “The hell was that?†He breathed. I had no idea but whatever it was, it had my attention. “What is it?†Red put a hand over my mouth and told me to put a sock in it. I bit him and he gave me a look that told me “if you don’t stay quiet I will give whole new meaning to the phrase ‘Do not fuck with me’ kid.†So I sheepishly took my teeth out of his hand and sat real still. It’s hard even with my meds so now that they’ve worn off it was like- fucking impossible. Then I understood why Spy called me a little bunny. I froze where I was, to scared to breathe, or move when I heard it. Something big and wet was sloshing up from the water. Oh god, black lagoon monster? Nessie? The nazi communist zombies Soldier was yelling about at lunch? Whatever it was, it sure wasn’t a fucking mermaid. Red and I tried to take a look and saw some bug bulky tentacle thing. It was all wet, and suckery, and had steam or something comin’ off it. Then a bullet went right next to our heads and it yelled at us with a french accent. If not for almost getting shot it’d be kinda funny. We yelled back and ran for it, right into a wall. Another shot went off and we screamed more then ran into RED base. I nearly got shot by a sentry but at least I was safer than I was outside. So yea, that’s how I learned that A FRENCH TENTACLE MONSTER WITH A GUN LIVES IN OUR SEWERS! I figured it was pretty important for people to know so I ran into the rec room when I’d respawned and told them all what happened, leaving out the fact that Red was there too, and when I finished I realized that they were laughing. “So a monster lives here- big whoop. Spy’s always been a bloody wanker.†Snipes said. Spy glared and whacked him on the head making everyone start laughing more. So I walked right back out. “Want me to check the closet for more monsters Sally Cupcake?†Solly called after me. “Perhaps night light is good idea, da?†Heavy said. I don’t think the big guy meant anything by it but he was NOT helping. I know what I saw today, I KNOW! And there’s a fucking octo-fag who lives in the sewer. -Scout
Oh god. Just- Tentaspy- "You damned brats! STAY OUT OF MY SEWEURS!" Ah, the rest of the team will learn soon, I expect... Or not. If you can't tell, I'm really enjoying this so far.
Oh god yes. Tentaspy!
>>7 I am flattered that you are bewildered! We're both just standing around going "derp" and blushing! Thanks for naming the pornographer brother after me. I wasn't expecting to see Tentaspy in this story; it seems too down-to-earth. I like the image of him cussing out Scouts and shooting at them, rather than insta-sex.
>>10 >>11 GET YOUR FEELTHY FEET AWAEY FROM MY KELP JARDIN! >>12 well, more derp and more blushing! Thank you Marty! Febuary 17 1968 Okay, maybe not an Octo- FAG but definately an Octo-SOMETHING lives in the sewers. He’s pretty cool. Red and I decided it’d be a good idea to find out what the hell it was down there and get rid of it. The night after we first saw it we found stuff to explore with. Well it wasn’t stealing exactly. We needed shit and people had the shit we needed. We gave it back! Jesus Christ you’re a motherfucking BOOK and you can make me feel like Ma caught me with my hand in the cookie jar! Yeah, we filched some stuff like lights and ropes and went down a manhole. “Do we gotta do this?†I asked him, it was not a fun idea if you ask me. I ain’t that smart either but even I thought it was stupid. “This thing could hurt someone.†Red told me while we climbed down. “Yea, but why not let Demo take care of it?†“Nobody believes us. We’re the only ones who are gonna do anything.†He dropped and turned on the flashlight he had. “Don’t be such a fuckin’ pussy.†“You think I’m scared?†I dropped down next to him. “I KNOW you’re scared chucklenuts.†To be honest, I kinda was. Monsters were what lived under kids beds and in the movies that helped you score with your date, not in real life. I was scared as shit and took a hold of the back of red’s shirt while we walked. “Don’t make this gay.†I ordered. He smiled and ruffled my hair, kinda telling me he wouldn’t without saying it. “Wouldn’t dream of it Scoots.†I used to hate nicknames, but this one’s okay since he gave it. So we walk in and the emergency lights that even work are all flickery and creepy. Nothing’s quiet, you just hear everything. The water makes things loud as hell by the way. I could hear Red breathing, hear water drops splash on the walkway, it was like somethin’ out of a B-list horror movie. I shit you not. I kicked a rock in by accident and it echoed like you wouldn’t fuckin beleive. “Redddd-“ “We’ll go back in like, half an hour Scoots.†Turns out we got lost and ended up under Well. We did this for like, a week. We found ways through the tunnels (Red knows them all, I only got one or two down) But nothing. Nada. Just some crap and slime. But then I went down there by myself last night to look around one last time. I cannot believe how much of a dumbfuck I am but I did. I fell in the water a few times and didn’t towel off or go back. See I had a few brownies left over. Ma sent me a letter and a tray of brownies, cause I ain’t got no valentine sweetheart. She does though. This new guy better be treating her right or I WILL bust his ass, and I know I can do it now too. Ma’s brownies are wicked good, best in Dorchester. They got butterscotch and chocolate chips in them. And a whole tray too, I have never had a whole tray to myself before, it was always “Runt gets last pick!†or “Gimme that shortie!†whenever my brothers smelled them. Engie said just pop those bitches in the oven and they’ll be all gooey and warm like they should be. Turns out the old fart’s godmother had a bakery and he worked there part-time in highschool. It is pretty damn cool. Woah. I got so off topic there. Anyways I wanted to see if he was real or some shit I guess. So I went into the aquaducts. (Turns out they aren’t named after ducks by the way and they aren’t sewers. They’re an aqueifer. Engie is like a fucking dictionary.) So I just thought maybe food might lure him in. And I hoped he thought food was the same thing I did. But dipshit that I am I hadn’t thought that after using it for a week straight, the batteries in my flashlight might die. The dumb thing started flickering. Thankfully I found a little shelf before it gave out, but no exit. I left the brownie there and tried moving on. Big mistake. I fell when I accidentally stepped into a fast moving stream. Engie told me later that I was lucky not to have cracked my head open. But I hit my head and got dazed before getting dragged downstream. I don’t remember much but I was wavin’ my arms and shit trying to stay up. I was gonna die, I was gonna fuckin die like normal people died because I was trying to lure a monster out with goddamn chocolate. I swallowed some water and went under, everythin went black and it felt like some weird mini-pyro was fucking torching my lungs. Next thing I remember I was wakin’ up on a concrete walkway near the water. It was dark and everything hurt. Somehow I was next to the Red Spy. It was like, what the fuck? Why was THE RED SPY here? I tried to sit up and instantley felt like a wicked huge idiot for trying. I was all shivery now and felt even worse than ever. “Good morning sunshine.†He said, just relaxin in the water and smoking. Then I realized it wasn’t spy. Well not really. This motherfucker had tentacles. I couldn’t even call for help I was so scared. “You are getting to be a little troublemaker, you and ze boy in red.†“W-what the hell?†dumb chattering teeth. He said some shit in french that sounded like “the tens see you play†I don’t know if it means to relax or something but the tone was kinda a dead giveaway. “Why’re you helping me man?†Not that I was complaining. “’opefully so you will cease tromping about my ‘ome trying to kill me.†He said with a smile. It might have been nice if he didn’t have fucking pirhanna teeth. “Then why’d you try to shoot us you fag?†The little laugh he had is different than our Spy’s. Less douchebaggy. “I was ‘oping to scare you off, but that only made you curious, oui?†“Keep your wee to yourself octo-ass. Didn’t want to kill you.†He flicked the cigarette butt away, eyes flashing darkly. “Oh? And what did you want to do then petit? Take pictures? Call me names? Make friends by bringing the BLU Medic a new project?†“I wanted to give you a fucking brownie!†By the way. Never yell if your throat hurts that much. It sounds so sissy. “Sides’ I was bored. Didn’t have to do nothing nice for you squidfag.†“No†He snarled. “You didn’t. Now stay out of the water you cretin. You scare the fish.†“Fish?†Yes Scout, fish. They swim and have gills and taste great if you fry them up. I need a sign that just says ‘Captain obvious’. And the spy thing agreed. “My prey. I can hardly catch cows in the water now can I?†Looking back I feel like a jerk. Our splashing around like dumbshits for a few days must have made him go hungry. No wonder he was pissed. “Fiche moi le paix from now on.†Then I pretty much chopped my balls off because I felt bad. “Look squidface. I’m sorry. We didn’t know.†“That doesn’t make it ‘all better’ does it?†he bit back. “Look whenever I go swimming I’ll leave you food okay?†He looked at me like I’d just grown a second head and was yodeling with it. Then again nobody must offer to do much for you when you’re a freak. Or a runt. “Deal?†“It is…†he looked at my hand and reached out a glove. It had holes where claws had broken through. “a fair trade. I find your terms agreeable.†I hadn’t realized how cold my skin was until we shook on it. I shivered again. “Can you walk?†I tried and couldn’t move much. Squidface just laughed and looked towards the base. “Yo! I need some help!†he said, in my voice. MY VOICE. The fuck? “au revoir, petit. Watch your step next time.†He almost glided away across the canal. Before long my team came running. “What is wrong with you Maggot? You left the base you insubordanate commie!†Solly yelled at me. I yelled back and threw up. Turns out I got hypothermia so now Medic’s got me on bedrest. Hypothermia. In the desert. Fuck this shit. -Scout
Captcha: graciously endowed. Well then. This fic is gold! Please continue!
Just keeps getting better and better.
Feb 19 1968 Two more frickin days of this shit left. My room’s kinda small, painted blue and it’s got a big window and a closet. I always had to share a room with Mike and Marty cause we were the youngest so it feels kinda lonely. I’ve been so bored when I’m awake, nobody to talk to while the other BLUs are off fighting, I can’t call Ma more than once a month and I had a headache like nobody’s business so I spent most of my time reading the Lord of the Rings again. I ain’t never told anyone outside the family that I love it. But I love reading, takes you away to another world sometimes, you’re someone new and different and alive like you never could be in the real world. Jason gave me a leather bound set of the Lord of the Rings when I was nine. It had belonged to grandpa and when he died, well, we got them. I know them all front to back but I read them over and over through the years. I keep them hidden though. I don’t trust the others here except maybe Engie not to ruin them. So after they came back I stowed them and got bored again. I’ve also been havin wierd dreams that involve either thinking Red is Jason, drowning, aquariums or cows swimming. At least Red snuck in last night and played cards with me. I even won too. I told him all about the tenta-spy. Hey that’s kinda a cool name for it. It makes sense and sides’ I think it’s kinda catchy. “So this sonuvabitch SAVED you?†“I know, dude it was fuckin’ weird!†“No, he tried to shoot us man, you must have been halucinating.†I have to admit- being saved by an octo-fag who smokes like a chiminey and tried to kill me before makes about as much sense as Demoman’s stories about Nessie. NONE WHAT SO FRIGGIN EVER! “I don’t think I was.†“You were sick Scoots, you said you thought I was your dead brother fer christsakes.†Still I remember it all so clear and I looked at my waist later and it looked like something big grabbed me cause I had a big freaking bruise. I didn't bring it up because he'd just blow it off as getting banged up while I was floating. I don’t want to piss off one of my only two (or is it three now?) friends. Red’s become interested in Jason lately so we didn't run out of stuff to talk about. See, He’s the middle kid of five. Older brothers, one brother ten years younger and a little sister who just turned fourteen. He says that one day when we both are done with this place he wants to introduce me to his ma his pop his and siblings. He thinks we could all be like one big family. I gotta be honest. I like the idea. Ah well I can think of all that later. Right now I need to sleep. -Scout
Alright all, I've been having some trouble figuring out a nickname for Tentaspy, something scout can call him that doesn't sound weird so I figured I'd ask for help from the chan! Also any french speakers willing to help with some translation for tentaspy would be greatly appreciated. Email me if you want to help out. Go nuts. March 3, 1968 I met him again. I dunno why I wanted to see him (maybe so I knew I didn’t make him up) but I went down to the water late last night and he was there if you knew where to look. It was amazing watchin him, like David Dickonson in the olympics, just darting through the water. I also learned he has like superpowers or something because I dipped a toe in the water and he seemed to vanish. Poof, gone. After a minute he showed back up right near my feet. “Bonsoir.†He seemed like he couldn’t believe I was there. “I was not expecting to see you here again.†“Why? Cause I got sick?†I thumped my chest “Nah, healthy as a horse. Besides, I thought it’s be cool to talk with ya.†That got me a look. “You wish to talk to me?†“Yeah, I mean you’re different and all. Besides, you’re all alone down here. It must suck.†He laughed a bit at that. “You do not know how true those words are petit.†He took out a cigarette and puffed on it. “So, ask away if you must.†“Why are you still hanging around here? I mean don’t you want to have somewhere bigger than here to swim around in?†He grimaced and I took that as a fuck up on my part. “I mean, I get so bored staying in a building. I can’t imagine staying in the aquaducts forever.†“Because this is my only ‘ope to become myself again.†He sighed and some tension left his face. “I ‘ave no other choice if I wish to ‘ave legs again.†I can’t imagine if I lost my legs. “You were a spy here before?†“Oui.†“Man, you are so much cooler than our spy, and he has legs.†He smirked at that “Not to mention he’s a dick.†“You ‘ave no idea petit.†“Quit callin me petit. I’m ‘Scout’ man.†He smiled “So uh, what should I call you then?†I still feel bad about that squidfag shit. “I’ve just been thinking of you as like, Tentaspy or somethin.†He laughed out loud at that. It was so much less annoying than our Spy’s. “I would not be… Comment dit-on " mécontent" en anglais? Displeased with that.†“Good. And by the way, here.†I held out a fork and a paper plate with some potatos and greenbeans and barbeque on it. Pyro had gone all out with dinner so I could steal a bunch of chow no problem. (I keep my fucking promises) “Figured fish got kinda boring after a while.†He laughed again, like I was fucking hilarious. I gotta say, that felt kinda nice, knowing he found me funny and not as annoying as other people. I hope. He ate like he was at a high class resturant, all suave and dignified. And we talked. Oh man we talked for forever. It wasn’t about much really, just about normal shit like music and sports and favorite books. Somehow Tentaspy got me to talk about books. I have no idea how but he did cause he’s so easy to talk with. We chatted about if fantasy or non-fiction was better, about Bram Stoker and Emily Dickinson for goddamn hours. “I did not anticipate to find you a fan of miss Dickonson. I expected you to be less...†he seemed like he couldn’t find the words for it. “No worries. Most people don’t expect it either. After all ‘I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody too?’ doesn’t seem like my thing ya know?†He sighed, floating there, lost and alone looking. He finished the poem for me. “Then there's a pair of us! Dont tell! They'd advertise you know!†I was on my back on the little walkway beside the water looking up at the sky but my heart was thudding a little when he said that. Even if it’s a poem, in that moment it felt like he understood me better than anyone. (Maybe because it’s my favorite poem . I never thought anyone would write something that made me cry until I read that.) “Scout, you must return before you fall asleep here mon ami... but feel free to visit again. Je me suis bien amusé.†And then he was gone again. Poof. So I got back and decided to write this down cause it’s kinda a big deal for me. Also I can’t stop thinking that he finished the poem so quick. If it’s lonely sometimes when you’re normal I can’t imagine what it’s like when you’re different. And he’s different all right. But maybe not just for the reasons I thought at first. Okay I'm going to bed before I write anymore embarassing shit. -Scout
I usually don't read Scout-centric fics because I don't like him and I don't like how he is always portrayed as an annoying brat. But I like your Scout. And your Tentaspy. And your story. Very much so. You have me on the hook here. By the way, I'm too shy to un-anon myself on the chan, but I'll be glad to help you with any french. (sent you a mail)
You know it's a good fic when you squeal at updates, and it hasn't even gotten porny yet. This is easily my favorite fic on the chan right now.
This is perhaps the cutest fic I have ever read, and making me wibble over Scout is a huge accomplishment. I don't really like tentaspies either, but I like this one. D'awww, he's lonely. I think you're giving me the diabeetus.
I'm also really really enjoying this. Like, there are imperfections in the writing, but that just adds more to the charm of it, I think. I also like that Tentaspy is an actual character, like he wasn't just a brief mention like I originally thought he was going to be. Can't wait to see where this goes.
I am grinning so hard my face hurts. I have *FANS* and I haven't even written the porn part yet. But I have a little question for you all: Do you want there to be porn sooner (potentially making things weird and making it so that there are more things to work past later for these two) or later (involving more soul-searching and a deeper friendship before the sex and a good dose of identity crisis)? I can do either but I'm asking because I want to know what Scout's public wants.
>>22 I think I'd prefer the latter. Deeper friendships and soul-searching makes porn all the more satisfying. I like identity crises. That's just me, though.
>>22 I like both of these, assuming there will be issues and drama either way.
>>22 later, character development makes the sex that much sweeter.
I'd say extend the character/plot development a bit more not too much later though. I love a good tease. By the by, love that you keep Scout so much in character. Great work, can't wait to see the next entry in the little runner's journal.
I was sad when I saw there was no more yet. I beat my fists on my arm rests of my chair in a solid moment of "Aw damnit" This is a great fic so far, I've really enjoyed reading it
Love this fic! I was like "omfg scout reads Lord of the Rings...I like this scout..." :D I love it when story characters have something in common with you. I was hoping that scout and tentaspy would be friends! He isn't such a bad guy after all <3
(To the tune of Camptown Races) Sage goes in the email field, doo-dah, doo-dah.
This is a bit more of a family post than anything. I just saw one of the freshmen in my dorm crying over a letter from her folks and it reminded me that I was just like that last year. And Scout has a much bigger and tighter knit family than mine sooo.... Homesick Scout anybody? March 6 1968, I got a letter from home yesterday, from Ma. She was reminding me to work hard and to take this job seriously but she was crying when she wrote it. She cleaned it up as best she could but I still could see where her tears messed up the paper. She misses dad so much. He was her whole damn world until Jason was born, and even after she had all of us kids he was a huge part of her life. And after he was gone us eight were how she still had him in her life. And I left the nest, I left her alone. She’s always been there, for advice, for encouragement and for telling us if we’re being little shits if we need it. And I miss her so fucking much. Pop was a good man but Ma is an angel, I miss having her cooking something up because she wants to, I miss hearing her sing along to that Jefferson Airplane song she loves, I miss her telling me it’s all gonna be okay. She wanted me around, She loves me and puts up with my brothers and me and I never knew how much she did for me every day until this job. This job where I’m not even "the runt" but I’m the little bastard they didn’t want to get stuck with and hate for being around. Engie was the one who found me sitting up in a tree on my own. I was fucking crying and he didn’t even say a thing. Just got me down from the tree and to his workshop. He didn’t ask me to tell him nothing or tell me to suck it up, he just stuck a tissue box in one of my hands and a toolbox in the other and sat me down by his truck while he worked. We were all quiet for a while then Engie told me about himself. He’d left home when he was sixteen, never looking back, never calling his drunken bastard of a father again. He’d started working out in the oil fields and trying to get used to it. He told me about his Ma dying when he was born, about his hometown growing up and about some stupid stories from the oil fields but never made me talk about why I was crying. At some point I thought that my dad and Engie would have been great friends. Then I started crying again and it all came out. How I hate it here, how Spy’s been kicking me around a lot more lately, that I’ve been buddies with Red for a while, how much I miss Jason, about dad, about everything but tentaspy. And he told me that it’s okay. And he went so far as to curse over me sayin “If people here don’t like you they can fuck themselves. You’re a good kid whose homesick and loud and good and got more life in you than most of them.†He gave me a hug, not like a mom or somebody who likes you but it was warm and good and I felt like I was wanted around here. That somebody on the team who cares about me and thinks I matter. Then he asked me to hand him a replacement lugnut. And that was that. And I don’t even care that I cried anymore. -Scout
That was so sweet.
I'm really enjoying this series and I was so glad to see it updated. And what a sweet chapter too! I love how you write Scout's voice and his interactions with the other characters, especially the Tentaspy. Can't wait for them to meet again. Thanks for sharing this!
My Scout muse was being a diva, refused to let me write anything to move this along until he felt like it, the asshole. While it's not my favorite update I wanted to bang this out before the weekend. And it's an excuse to have Tentaspy juggle. Also Tentaspy's nickname has been decided by a tf2chan lurker. (Who asked to remain unnamed. You know who you are you glorious bastard!) In the spirit of scout fics: "Enjoy your weird squiddy-ass pre-porn romance you weird fucks." and happy Thursday! March 8 1968, I gotta hand it to him. I have one of the coolest friends on earth. And I got a cool nickname for him! See I went down to the water last night and waited. He showed up late but I didn’t care too much. He’s fun to talk to and I can tell him secrets because he’s not gonna go telling nobody. He just outta nowhere comes rocketing at me, all fangs and claws and “RAWR I’M GONNA EAT YOUR ASS†and I kinda freaked out and panicked and was kinda fucking scared but then the squidfag starts laughing at me! “You should ‘ave seen your face petit!†He thought it was funny and just fell over himself laughing and shit and I didn’t mind much. Dunno why, guess it’s just hard to be pissed at a guy who’s been alone for who knows how long and just likes to know he’s getting noticed again. “Don’t ever do that again or I’ll beat your ass.†I told him, laughing a bit too hard to really mean it. “So whaddaya got planned for tonight? Anything you wanna talk about?†“Non†He flashed a smile that, unless you looked, didn’t show his goddamn piranha teeth, proving that no matter if he’s got legs or wings or is a fish-monster that lives in the aquaducts, spies are suave motherfuckers. “Tonight I wanted to show you something… fun. Now, leave anything you do not wish to get wet.†I just tossed off my socks and shoes and shirt, I had nothing else unless I counted my pants, and jumped in. Water is fucking cool. I feel like I’m flying when I’m there, no gravity, total freedom to move, it’s amazing. But I gotta say, I was a bit worried. I hadn’t actually gone into the water since February. I’d never been scared of the water before but there was a second where I almost freaked out. I might have actually freaked if Tentaspy hadn’t been there. He just scooped me up with one of his… I guess it’s a tentacle and an arm at the same time. But I’ll just have to call them tentacles, or else it’ll get silly. Anyway he grabbed me and put me on his back like a little kid playing “horsey†and swam off. We dove underwater sometimes but he always gave me a heads up and I didn’t panic. I was just enjoying the speed. It was like a rocket was under all those limbs. We only stopped in a big chamber down in the aquaducts and he just picked me up again and set me on a concrete walkway. “Now, ‘old on petit.†He said with a smile “zis is what I do pour rigoler.†And then he started taking off his shirt. I didn’t freak out or nothing but I was a little too shocked that he’d get naked in front of me to take a good look at what’s under that mask. But the instant he got that dress shirt off he vanished again. Not like a spy-vanish or a where’d-he-go-off-to-now vanish but this was a holy-fuck-he-was-there-a-second-ago-and-now-he-went-all-magical-escape vanish! And then he kept talking too. “One of ze perks of ‘aving ze gentetic code of une Pieuvre, I can ‘ide far better now.†He said, his voice coming from where he had been standing (or sitting, I think he was standing. Being friends with him is gonna fuck with how I think of verbs, just you watch). “Pieuvre?†“Octopus en anglais.†He chuckled, his upper body coming into view again as soon as his mask was on. Just floating there. Then he did something amazing. He had legs. Or at least he looked like he did. On the surface they looked real enough to touch but when I got up and saw the “backs†of his legs they weren’t there. “Camouflage, and far far more sophistiqué than any disguise kit or simple animal ability.†He turned around and everything but his head went away for his next trick. Then there was a “mirror†with my face reflected in it on his chest, perfect expressions until it made a face at me and tentaspy reappeared. “How the hell do you do this?†“Les chromatophores. Little cells I ‘ave in my skin and ‘air that I can use at will. I am both artiste and toile now.†He showed back up again with a smile. “I also juggle†“No way.†Spies do NOT juggle. They read or dance or seduce girls but they do not juggle. “I ‘ave been juggling since I was very young petit.†“Prove it!†He laughed and produced a shit-ton of little rubber balls. And fuck if he couldn’t juggle. It was like something from a circus, there must have been twenty of them. Vince can only juggle like five and I can’t even do two. Then he caught them all and bowed. I was grinning like a dumbass and clapping. I could almost see a little boy, his face hidden, as he juggled, all clumsy and determined. “I also ‘ave an unusual talent for impressions.†He laid the balls aside and took the mask off too quickly to look again and suddenly I was too busy studying the “artwork†to care. He has flawlessly imitated Red. His hair, his eyes, the tiny scar above his eye, all of it. “What’s up Scoots? You look a bit freaked.†God even his voice was dead on. I guess I just reached out to touch the image. And then I realized that I’d just touched what was essentially a naked guy. He wasn’t slimy though. It was like touching another human, full human I mean. It’s weird when your eyes want to touch fabric and your hand feels skin. And when your ears expect a boston accent from that body and you hear perfect french coming outta your friend’s mouth in this kinda breathy way (I think he’s ticklish or something) that’s just off somehow. Red’s face just vanished in a flicker and I got my first real look at him. Black hair, like not brownish black but black black, blue eyes and this nose that’s a little big but not like giant or even too big. He was like, the ideal spy if you ask me. Like seriously serial-ladykiller material. “S'il-te-plaît, arête petit.†I pulled my hand back and kinda felt my face go all red. It was weird but not like… bad. I guess I’m just a touchy sorta guy but I was usually roughhousing, and this felt different. I mean, when was the last time he had anybody lay a hand on him by choice? And not like to hit him but a pat on the back or a high-five? And that’s when it all kinda hit me. He trusted me. He was letting me into his home, he was trusting me not to tell anybody about him now. And, well… I trust him too. I mean the guy saved my life, talked to me like I was an adult, like I wasn’t dumb and just liked to hang out with me. So I had to stop thinking of him as “Tentaspy†by then or else it’d be kinda a dick move for me. It’s like naming your pet dog “Dogâ€. They gotta know that they’re special and know that you think so too. So I finally decided on what to call him. “Pi.†I felt a bit dumb when he didn’t say anything at first. “Pie†he said finally, “like ze pastry?†“No no no, like “Pieuvre†or whatever. Your nickname is Pi now. Got a problem with that ink-ass?†He laughed at that and I knew I’d done right when he started trying out the name for himself. Pi is a cool name, so I can’t blame him for it. But looking back it was a kinda weird thing being that happy around another person. And what’s weirder is that I didn’t WANT to go back to the base. I wanted to hang out in a wet concrete underground room with a monster-dude rather than go back to my nice warm bed. I’m not like, worried or nothing, I just think it’s weird. -Scout
I have the soppiest grin on my face right now, you have no idea.
Nifty work with the chromatophores! I really like how this is coming along.
Bump of glee. Very cute, loved the juggling!
I realized I wasn't giving Red enough love and then my brain just went with it and damn if it didn't take the original idea for this post in a new direction entirely mind you, this is the product of sleep being an evasive bastard. I'm still aiming for Scout/Tentaspy in the end but... well read for yourselves. Don't kill me! March 10 1968, I am freaking the fuck out here. Red found me after breakfast this morning since we got Sundays off and he was pissed. Not heat-of-battle pissed but “I’m going to beat some sense into you and then some†pissed. I guess he has a right to be, I’ve been ignoring him a bunch lately except for battles. And even there I guess I was trying to ignore him and I have no idea why! But he pinned me against the by my neck and it wasn’t like he was choking me, it was just to make sure I got the message, loud and fucking clear. “Where. The FUCK. Have. You. Been. Going?†was the first thing he asked. He barely even got it out in a hiss. “What?†“I was worried about you!†He looked like he was going to cry and kick my ass at the same time, his accent getting more and more noticable and shit as he talked “Yah almost drown’d an then staht goin missin in da middle of da night? An don’t lie to me Scoots! Do yah have any idea how scared I was when I saw your hat by da water? I spent an hour looking for yah, thinking you’d actually drowned you fuckin chowdah head!†I hadn’t realized I’d forgotten my cap by the water that night when I got my stuff. “You thought I’d- That I was- oh fuck. Red I am so sorry. Like wicked sorry I scared you.†"Where were you Scoots?" he whispered "I was so scared I'd lost you. You're real important to me lately you know. If you were gone... I dunno." His face right then was just so… wrong, like I was seeing an open wound right to his brain, he looked almost like if I patted his back he’d crumble to dust. I hadn’t expected to see that sort of a look on Red’s face. He’s so tough and calm and composed and shit that I hadn’t ever though he could get scared. And I hope to god I am wrong but I only ever saw that sort of a look when you, y’know… like someone. Like seriously have it bad for them! It looked like Red is seriously crushing on me! So I fibbed and stayed calm until he left and I just went to my room and kinda stayed here since then. I always saw him as a big brother I guess, but I dunno if he sees me like a brother or if he's been thinking I'm after more than pals. I mean, I never even thought about guys l- No. Not even dealing with this right now. I don’t need this! Red doesn’t need this! And I hope I am reading him wrong because I’m not into Red like that! He’s great, he’s my friend he’s cool and funny and nice but I’m not batting for the other team! I don’t mind guys that do, don’t get me wrong! Like Tony Velazquez from my homeroom class was like, all out queer, like with a lisp and fashion sense and boy talk with girls and shit. I kicked ass when some douchenozzles were trying to beat him up and shit one day and even think of Tony as a friend but I’m just not into Red. If you can hear me God, I’m sorry I gargled the communion wine when I was sixteen and I didn't think before telling Father Hanrahan I wasn't sure he was holy or not and this is just so confusing! I need sleep, maybe I'll wake up and find out it was a dream. I just CANNOT deal with this today. -Scout
Until today had been ignoring this fic on the grounds that I don't care for journal-style stories. But then I read it and it, like, changed my world-view, man. I'm very interested to see where this is going.
I hope this isn't abandoned Buttons. I'm loving the Red/Scoot tease you just gave my brain. Cross faction romance is sexy but confused cross faction unreqitted love? Unf!!! Can I keep your Red and Engie? I'll take good care of them!
Oh my god it updated while I was away and now it was bumped! Oh good lord the updates are amazing. I do hope it isn't abandoned, but, as the person who's writing this is in college (I assume from the entire freshman crying anecdote) they might be a bit busy around this time of year.
Sorry about the gap all! I've been busy, yes but not due to school (yet). I'm an aunt now! Adorable baby boy born on the 17th, I was at my brother's for a few days to help the new parents out and I hope you all understand that it would have felt a bit wrong to be writing while with family (especially with baby Logan there). This isn't abandoned, just interrupted by real life! Update in a few days!
Gratz on the aunthood - pretty cool feeling, huh? So what class will Logan be playing, has he picked one yet?
Congratulations Buttons! What fantastic news, definitely worth any sort of delay. Though I must say I'm happy to hear that it'll be updated soon, so excited to see what happens next.
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Even though I'm of the understanding that "Pi," should be pronounced much like the numerical value, I consistently end up reading it as "Pee," and every time I do, yet another voice farther back in my head screams "Jaaaaaaarate!" It's caused me some difficulty in taking things seriously. But as it were, this update makes for enjoyable comedy as well.
45 Didn't really get comedy out of this. And why would you say that about Pi's name, I can't unthink it anon! All in all not the best of your updates Buttons. I say this because it can end up really good or really bad. Don't get me wrong, love the story and may end up still loving it, I just wanted to throw my opinion out there.
>>46 I don't imagine it was meant to be comedy, but when the main love interest's name sounds like Pee and you've got Snoipeh shouting about more pee in the back of your head, you start to see potty humour in places you shouldn't. Anyway, Buttons, I will have to agree that this isn't my favourite installation on this story. It just wasn't very satisfying. It lacked focus. You were jumping around from idea to idea, some of which seemed unnecessary or at least out of place [I definitely would have told this in two three installments,] and you really didn't stay on any one thought long enough for us readers to really get into the situation. Heavy shit went down and I didn't feel a thing. But it’s not as if you’ve ruined the story forever. I’m still going to shit my pants the next time I see an update here. Just remember, in the future; slow down, take things one at a time. And give Red and Pi some more character development. They're starting to deflate.
I have to admit, I rushed and half-assed it because exams are drawing nigh and I hadn't gotten anything out. And I regret it reading over this again. So. That entry has gone away, off to Soldier's boot camp for fanfics. Thanks for the honesty guys, I'll be in my batcave, re-writing and thinking about what I've done. It may be time to get a beta for this story too, send an email if you want to give it a swing!
This is my most favorite tf2 fanfiction in the world. I've read the entire thing in about an hour, and I'm so in love with it and your characters that the fact that it's not had an update in a while leaves a physical ache inside of me. Your personalization of the characters is phenomenal. They all have a lot of life to them and jump off the screen. There's so many avenues open to you because of the choices you've made, and I can't wait to see where you go with it. I don't think it's a bad thing that you brought a romantic involvement of Red into the mix - I think it's added more depth to it. Of course I'm hoping for Scout/Spy at the end, but it's given the story a lot more drama since you've started to alter Red's relationship with him. There's a lot of room for heartache here that's going to help progress the plot. And I really love the way you've written Engie. He's so sweet and down-to-earth, like I've always pictured him being. Your scene after Scout cried and Engie gave him a toolbox to hold was priceless and completely canon to your fic. I really hope you update this soon. If you still want a beta, I'm sending you an e-mail now, so just let me know.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lncry25IDV1qclt3z.gif UPDATE SOON OR I WILL CRY