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No. 13363
[Sorry for the delay, I’ve been writing another fic here, but I’m back now, for better or worse. And yes, I have reposted previous chapters elsewhere on another site, that’s as close as I want to get to identifying myself right now. Hope y’all… enjoy, yes, that’s the word… enjoy… if anyone is still reading, don't know if you'd be after this chapter, haha…]
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Things were about to get even more interesting, but luckily did not, as both men were still armed, and gun holsters and hip packs do not lend themselves to actions such as hugging or French kissing, at least not without taking out a chunk of flesh. With a little fumbling, they managed to get the worst offenders off, various weapons and related accoutrements discarded alongside the Scrumpy bottle, but it soon became clear that neither Demo nor Spy were physically capable of stopping long enough to take off anything else.
“Really,†Spy murmured when he could take a breath. “We should move this elsewhere.â€
At that moment, Demo was all for a tumble in the hay, such as it were, too unwilling to break off contact with Spy any longer than necessary even to get to a bedroom. “Why not here?†he asked, half teasing and half serious. “Afraid BLU Spy will come sneaking around?â€
“Well… yes.â€
As Spy looked genuinely concerned about the possibility of being caught on film again, Demo tried to turn his laugh into a cough. “He’s not going to be bothering you, not after what Medic did to him,†he assured him with another peck to the cheek. “He’d be crazy to!†Although that actually meant nothing as BLU Spy did not make very good life decisions on a regular basis.
“I suppose you’re right…†Spy did not return the kiss, though, and Demo frowned, the faintest of misgivings about this entire affair beginning to emerge in the dark and alcohol-sodden corners of his mind.
“…You’re not ashamed to be seen with me, are you, Spy?†It wouldn’t be the first time, he thought unhappily.
“No, no, it’s not that, nothing like that.â€
“Then what?†he persisted, when Spy did not elaborate.
“I… It’s nothing.â€
In Demo’s ill-remembered experience, nothing usually meant something. Exhaling loudly, he flopped onto his back. Spy was hardly the type of person to chat away about every little matter, but Demo felt disappointed by this reticence anyway, as it only fed into the buried self-doubt that threatened to resurface any moment now. He had to wonder why Spy expressed any interest in him in the first place, out of all of the potential partners he could have wooed; even as isolated as the mercenaries were working in the Badlands, they could still leave for greener pastures anytime they wanted to on their days off. He had done so himself, for a while, and it was obvious Spy already had, or at least that’s what he claimed, and what several members of BLU team would agree to, apparently. And in the midst of his gloom, Demo nursed a sudden little pang of envy that BLU team (and one of BLU team’s parents) got to see more of their Spy in the buff than he had or probably will, and wondered, without a shred of shame, if he could trade another black label Scrumpy to his counterpart for a photo. Or three.
The somberness of his expression, despite his thoughts having derailed into an appallingly inappropriate track by now, seemed to bring Spy out of his silence.
“It’s nothing about you, all right?†Spy snuggled a little closer, tucking his head against Demo’s shoulder. “If you must know, I had something specific in mind…â€
Against his better judgment, Demo asked, “Do ye really?â€
“But we can hardly accomplish it out here, what with all the splinters and straw and shrapnel and lack of… comfort.â€
He nodded, unable to find anything to disagree with so far. “Go on.â€
“So I was thinking, perhaps, well, you know…†Putting on a perfect façade of innocence, Spy let his gloved hand trail down over the other mercenary’s belly, stopping just north of where the smiley face would have been taped to his pants, and Demo decided he did not need to go on after all. Not with words, at any rate.
By some miracle, the two of them did not run into anyone as they lurched back to base, and at least Spy remembered to kick the door closed before he and Demo fell onto the undersized bed, trying their best to strip each other while keeping their lips locked. Considering their inebriated state, they managed to get pretty far along; shoes off, vests and belts tossed to the floor. As often as he could, Demo tried to drink in the glorious sight, tried to touch and smell and taste his fill, to let Spy take over all of his senses, though it was not easy to distance himself enough to do so. Spy seemed uncharacteristically overwhelmed, kisses frantically passionate, clinging to Demo as if he would die if he let go.
He would have blamed it on the drink, how his hands moved of their own accord, slipping under the crisp fabric of the white shirt to get at bare skin underneath. But Spy only sighed, sounding pleased, his eyelids fluttering shut as Demo traced at the ridges of his ribs with his fingertips. Too clumsy with eagerness, he ended up ripping a few buttons off in his attempt to reach more, but heard no catty comment regarding the damage to high fashion. Encouraged, Demo took his time exploring, passing his hands over the narrow waist, up the broad chest, marveling at the contrast of his skin against the surprising paleness of Spy’s own body. He pressed a few open-mouthed kisses here and there, earning soft chuckles from Spy, until finally he stopped and rested his cheek against his sternum, to listen to the medically enhanced heartbeat thrum under his touch, strong and sure.
He could live with this. He could.
A sudden loud snore out of nowhere woke them both up from their drowsing, and the two stared at each other, mortified.
“My apologies,†Spy murmured, his flush nearly visible in the dim shifting light, even though Demo doubted it could have been him. “I… usually hold my liquor better than this.â€
Usually Demo would be doing the opposite of holding in his liquor by now, more like spewing it out all over himself, so he just grinned. “Hah, you’re doing a sight better than me ‘n my first time. Don’t ye fret, Spy, it’s all right.â€
“Are you sure?†Spy shifted under him, and Demo fought back, just barely, a flare of lust at that enticing little wriggle. “I don’t want to be… boring, not when…†He paused, unable to hold back a yawn.
“Well, I like this, too…†Demo mumbled contentedly into his ear. “Like it a lot.â€
Spy made a hum of agreement.
Any further conversation was interrupted by the sounds of snoring, quickly followed by the sounds of different snoring.
Demo made the mistake of waking up to Soldier’s trumpeted reveille, and he groaned as loudly as he dared. Even crueler than his headache was the realization that he was waking up alone, with no warm body at his side to assuage the pain. He gripped the crumpled sheets tightly, breathing in the traces of Spy’s cologne that lingered in the pillowcase, the nearly familiar hint of tobacco and amber musk underneath. Wishing would not work, but he wished anyway, to bring a ghost of a man back to life, to pull him into this waking, living world, to have him, solid and real, in his arms once more.
Then Soldier barged in shouting, no respect given to the duty that doors and locks and hinges served in this place, stopping mid-tirade when he realized Demo was in the bed instead of Spy. He leveled a suspicious glare from underneath his helmet towards the misplaced teammate, the gears almost visibly turning in his head.
“What’s going on here?†Soldier barked.
“I believe Demo was sleeping off a hangover before you so crudely woke him up,†Spy said, materializing at Soldier’s shoulder, fully dressed but looking exhausted.
“Why aren’t you two in your rooms?â€
Caught off guard, Demo panicked; he would have been unable to think of any coherent reason why even without Spy watching him dispassionately from the doorway. “Thought this was my room,†he ventured, “must have passed out without noticing it wasn’t.â€
“And I guess I didn’t lock up after I left last night,†Spy added, since it was patently impossible for anyone to walk into Spy’s room by accident, as he used nearly as many locks on his door as Soldier and Pyro did, combined.
Though this explanation would not have held water at any other time and would have in fact leaked water everywhere, Soldier seemed like he wanted to be satisfied by it. After admonishing them to get to the mess hall ASAP, he finally turned on his heel to harass the rest of the team, and Spy slid by him into his room.
They stared at each other for a few moments, and Spy opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something. Then he seemed to decide against it, and left without another word.
Demo did not see Spy afterwards, and barely caught glimpses of him the rest of the week. Any time they did run into each other, Spy simply walked away, refusing to meet his eye or answer any questions. If Demo should chase after him, he would cloak and disappear for good, leaving Demo standing by himself, or worse, the object of a pitying gaze from Engineer or a nearly audible “what did I tell you†from Sniper.
This inexplicable coldness from Spy baffled Demo and depressed him, and suddenly his beloved Scrumpy became his enemy, and what used to give him comfort only reminded him of how much he failed. He could only take one sip before the taste reminded him of that one brief, blissful night, and he was driven to break the bottle against a fence and throw it at a hapless BLU. Without Spy, without even Scrumpy, his life now felt as cold and empty as his childhood and well, a lot of his teen years and for that matter, some of his adulthood.
Why, he would wonder during his too-sober moments, what happened, what did he do wrong? Why would Spy, who had been so determined to get his attention before, now ignore him? He couldn’t think of any reason why, nothing that would make sense with what he knew of the other man’s character. But maybe he did not know Spy as well as he thought he did. Maybe in the end, things did make sense; after all, he spent his whole life being ignored, abandoned, betrayed by the people he loved and trusted. He would be a fool to believe things will change now.
As much as Demo tried to ignore these gloomy thoughts, trying to focus on his demolitions work instead, the longing drove him mad, and he would wake up sobbing in the middle of the night, aching for what had slipped through his fingers. By Friday, his misery had reached fever pitch, and everyone else on the team noticed, even if some of them had no clue why. They had done their best to cheer him up the past few days, but he could barely croak out a thanks to their offers of Red Shed and cigars, and he ended up spending the rest of the evenings in his room to avoid their worried glances. (Not that that prevented Soldier at all.)
The final straw came when Scout popped by his room, asking if he was going anywhere that weekend.
“Everyone’s got off, yanno, so me, I was gonna catch a game with Soldier before heading home. Sniper’s off hunting, Engie said he might go to a tech convention, I dunno where Spy went, probably Boston, too.†He scowled a little then, never sure if perhaps BLU Spy was pulling the same thing on him that their Spy was pulling on BLU Scout.
Demo just stared at him with one bloodshot eye.
“Anyway, you should look into it, Demo, you look like you need a break,†Scout continued, jabbering away. “What d’ya say, wanna hang out with me, Ma makes a great apple pie, you ought to try it!â€
A little ways down the hall, Pyro watched as Scout ducked a bottle thrown at him.
“Man, what’s gotten into him?! Just trying to be friendly. Weirdo.â€
The kid was right, though, he could use a change of scenery. Tempted as he was to track down Spy and shake some answers out of him, Demo knew that would be a waste of time and effort. But the idea had burrowed itself into his brain before the day was through, and while his raw and pulpy heart could not handle a flight to Boston, he liked the thought of going home for the weekend. To his home, to his own mother. That may be just what he needed.
A little while later, Mrs. Degroot, devoted mother and explosives expert in her own right, welcomed home her wayward son. Demo gave her a hug and guided her back to the sitting room, where he listened with half an ear to her persistent concern that he may not be working enough jobs. But after he pressed a cup of hot tea in her frail hands, she quieted, to the point that Demo asked if something was wrong.
She gave him a grim smile, about to mention his dead father again, before she apparently changed her mind. “I know you work hard, Tavish, but did you ever consider having a goal to work for?â€
He hadn’t.
“Well, what were ye planning to do with all of this money?â€
Buy more explosives, so he could work more.
“And is that all?â€
Maybe some traveling after he retired, to see the world, hunt down its monsters.
His mother frowned, tapping the end of her walking stick against the floor distractedly. “By yourself, eh?â€
He thought Sniper might be interested enough to tag along, and Medic would like the idea of getting more material for his experiments.
“What about this Jane girl of yours? Did ye have any plans for her in your future?â€
Demo did not answer her right away, and not just because he had no idea who she was referring to at first. “Mum, Jane and I are friends. Were friends. And we… we don’t have a future together.â€
“And that German harpy, what of her?â€
“It wouldn’t work out, Mum.†For one thing, she was still married.
She nodded, looking as sympathetic as he’d ever seen her. “Is there no one else for my son? No one at all?â€
An image of Spy flashed in his mind, and it took everything he had to not break down and cry in front of his mother. “No, there isn’t anyone else.â€
Mrs. Degroot sighed, exasperated. “That’s no way to talk, Tavish. Your father didn’t win me over with a lousy attitude like that.â€
“You don’t understand.†He hoped she didn’t understand, anyway.
“He’d be appalled, simply appalled, to hear you’ve given up without a fight!â€
Demo thought his father would be appalled for different reasons.
“I didn’t raise a coward and a laze-about!†Blind as she was, she managed to prod him right in the shin with her walking stick. “You best go show your lass what she’s been missing! Better yet, forget those witches, who were too blind to see your worth, and find yourself someone who loves you true, and never let them go. Because a Degroot deserves that much, and you are a Degroot. Don’t you ever forget that.â€
This was the least demeaning thing she had ever said to him, and Demo stood up from the armchair, inspired.
“You’re absolutely right, Mum.â€
“Of course, I’m right! I’m your mother! Now get out there, and make me some grandchildren!â€
“…What?â€
“I picked out a perfect orphanage for the bairns right here.†She jabbed at a brochure that had been lying on the coffee table that she surely could not read on her own, but looked bleak enough to Demo’s eye.
Much against his will, his disturbed brain conjured up an image of what might result from an unholy combination of his and Spy’s genes, and nearly throwing up in his mouth, he felt grateful beyond measure that no sick mind had yet invented a machine that would allow two men to have a baby together.
Demo endured a little more of his mother’s peculiar brand of encouragement, finding it a good distraction from his melancholy thoughts, then excused himself for the night. He had a lot of work to be doing, if he wanted a chance at happiness.
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