1 . Name: Sheepy the Wise @ 2011-04-12 16:17

hi i wrote this for adelon since she likes bottom tentaspy and foreskin and dirty talk and i suck at writing smut but you guys like it

beta'd by two lurkers

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No one else ever really talked to the local resident Tentaspy other than the Sniper and the Scout. Tentaspy was always down in a rec room in the base that had a pool in it, because he was mostly just a subject of study for Medic. He never really did anything extreme; he just ran tests to see how strong the tentacles were, how effective the gills were, and why he seemed to be hermaphroditic—he wasn‘t asexual and didn‘t reproduce by budding, or anything, he just seemed to have the reproduction organs of both sexes. This was common for Tentaspies, however rare they were. The worst the experiments had gotten was when Medic tried to inseminate the Tentaspy, but in addition to the rest of the base having the largest commotion of it (“We can’t have pregnant squids running around our base! It’s a bad influence for the children!”), there weren’t exactly any vials or samples of Tentaspy sperm lying around or available for purchase that weren‘t through the black market, and he didn‘t need to talk to the higher-ups about why he needed to buy it. Plus, previous medical journals the good doctor had read said that the eggs let off strange pheromones that effected everyone who came near them, and if you were to know exactly what the reactions were, well, let’s just leave it as being both a good and a bad thing.

Tentaspy’s friends thought it was pretty darn weird that—well, there weren’t any really specific things they thought were abnormal, he was just strange as a whole. It was hard to pick specifics without listing practically everything about him. Even if it was a good quality, it just seemed so weird that he had it. He didn’t have any strange social habits other than wanting to touch the two a lot, but he was like that with everyone. He was actually a really good listener and gave great advice and just had a really good, nice personality. He was friendly and more or less the exact opposite of either Spy on either team. The RED Spy was such a snarky asshole, and the BLU Spy didn’t make people as mad, but rarely conversed with anyone on the BLU team unless it was the Pyro. Tentaspy was BLU, but he wasn’t registered in the respawn system, and thus wasn’t allowed into the battle zone unless it was during a ceasefire—meaning, the areas that were apart of the battle zone, i.e. the rest of the base. It was unanimous that he wasn’t an enemy and thus was never targeted.

Tentaspies often lived in reservoirs and lakes rather than in oceans like most octopi. The BLU Tentaspy who lived in the rec room wasn’t the only one in the world, but they were a rare species, so the Medic kept him and made sure he was made safe, comfortable, and happy so he could easily study him. Medic, of course, wasn’t happy, himself, with making his test subject comfortable, but he knew the creature had to be, for the name of science. He wouldn’t dissect him until he—the Tentaspy—was almost retired, anyway, because the chances of getting another Tentaspy were slim to none. Plus, he saw him as something of morale for the team, since others at least enjoyed his company even if they didn’t speak to him or seek him out like the Sniper and Scout did.

Scout was always awkward around Tentaspy around when they first began interacting because Tentaspy would always get right up to Scout and climb in his lap and his gooey and slimy tentacles were all over his chest and his hips, and Scout was about to throw him back into the water, but then he started making this purring noise. Sniper was there the first day Tentaspy was discovered and made friends with him fast, since Sniper was sociable and extremely so but lacked friends due to how friendly he could be. Scout liked Sniper, though, so he became quick friends with Tentaspy, too. He was now used to Tentaspy wanting physical contact, but whenever his hand or a tentacle strayed to between his legs, he swatted them away and Sniper would laugh behind him. Tentaspy would give him this cute little confused expression that made Scout want to make touching his jewels okay.

Actually, in addition to just being bizarre, Tentaspy was actually like a small child, or a puppy. He was as cute as one, too. Sniper was more vocal about letting Tentaspy know how cute he was, though, because Scout had this little thing called dignity. Every expression Tentaspy made was adorable, and when he laughed, it was this cute little giggle like a little girl. Tentaspy was real short, a little shorter than Engie, because Tentaspies didn’t really get as big as you’d think, so that made him even cuter. It also made him just the right size to fit comfortably into someone’s lap, which is where he liked to be when he wasn’t in the water, and that’s what made him more like a puppy.

Scout spent the most time talking out of the trio, and the other two would always listen, even if he was complaining about stupid things. He always noticed the glances Sniper and Tentaspy gave each other, though, and it looked like they were flirting with their eyes. Tentaspy did seem to be touchier with Sniper, but that was probably just because Sniper was good with animals, and because he‘d known Sniper longer. That didn‘t make it any less gay. Of course, the two were close, almost as close as Scout hoped he was with Sniper. Not because he was a fag, or anything, but because Sniper was the coolest person on the team, and he’d rather be friends with a dude who pees in jars than a stuck-up French asshole or a big fat Russian bald guy who always eats sandwiches and makes fun of Scout’s size. Engineer would be a candidate for being his best friend, but the dude was always busy. Then he cut his hand off.

“Man, you two both give each other the faggiest looks,” he brought up one day when Sniper kept giving Tentaspy this weird leer and Tentaspy was avoiding eye contact with a little grin. “You keep lookin’ like yer ready to fuck him, or somethin’, and it’s really fuckin’ weird and gay.”

Sniper just rose his eyebrow and gave him an disinterested glance, which he often did—it didn‘t bother Scout at all—and Tentaspy sat there giggling. “Well, it’s his fault.” He glanced back over to the Sniper, a shy smile on his face. “He’s the one who’s always looking at me.”

Sniper chuckled at that. “Well, it’s your fault, too, since you’re so adorable.”

Scout scrunched his nose and turned away.

The funny thing was, though, they never actually ever did anything. They’d be all touchy, like Tentaspy teasing him by poking him with his tentacles, or Sniper grinning and making the other giggle for whatever dumb reason, but they never actually kissed or anything like that at all. Why did he even giggle, anyway? It was so—well, weird. But everything about Tentaspy was weird, so this was probably the most normal thing about him besides his curious personality. Sniper was always alone out in the wild so the closest thing he probably had to a relationship was with a koala or a panda or a chupacabra or whatever lives in Australia. It was easy to guess why Sniper was so comfortable and gay around the octo-man.

It was still pretty weird, though.

Well, as he thought about it, Scout himself liked pretty weird things. He would never, ever admit it even if you had a gun to his mom’s head (well maybe then), but he really liked the thought of being forced to do indecent things. Not like rape, of course not, but he wanted some guy to just stare at him naked with his legs spread like a dog. Maybe chained up and a dildo teasing his entrance. Oh, God, now he needed to rub one out, thanks. But it was to show the point that everyone has some hidden desire, even if it doesn‘t seem to fit, well, them, and making fun of his friend for liking their other not-so-human friend was just mean.

Even if it was fun. And it was okay, because they were friends.

“Sniper likes a squid~ Sniper likes a squid~” Scout often liked to prove that he hadn’t matured passed the age of ten on a daily basis, hence why he’d never had a lay. Or friends prior to these two. Sniper just ignored his sing-song teasing and focused his attention on petting one of Tentaspy’s limbs. Tentaspy had been giggling from the childish teasing and from the flirtatious petting. It never made Scout feel ignored whenever they’d flirt, it just felt awkward since they were all friends. You know that feeling, right? It wasn’t even jealousy, like wanting to be pet by Sniper or wanting to be the one petting Tentaspy, it was just this awkward feeling like when your parents would be kissing in the stairwell longer than they should have been because dad needed to go off to work.

“How do you guys even fuck, anyway? Not, uh, you and Snipes, but squid-people in general.”

Tentaspy just smiled and shook his head and waved his hand and said Scout didn’t need to worry. Uh, he sort of needed to know. Stupid fucking Tentaspy, why the fuck couldn’t you just answer him instead of just being all “Oh, it’s okay, Scout! You’re not going to ever fuck me so why would you need to know?” Well, what if he lost all dignity and wanted to fuck him, huh?

“Snipes, do you know?”

Sniper just looked over at him and had a seemingly blank expression due to his aviators that he never removed. He looked at him in silence, and Scout didn’t know if he should take that as the answer being obvious, Scout not needing to know, or he himself didn’t know. So Scout just told them to forget it and sat at the edge of the pool, kicking his legs in the water. Tentaspy’s eyes were on him and he had stopped giggling, despite Sniper still petting him.

“What’s wrong?” It was weird because Tentaspy looked like a regular Spy just with, you know, tentacles and a possible vagina-cloaca hybrid instead of a dick and an ass—although who‘s to say that isn‘t the norm for regular Spies?— he didn’t have a French accent. He was pretty understandable. He had a weird accent, though, one Scout could not possibly guess the origin of. It didn’t sound like anything he’d ever heard before. It was probably an accent fish-people had because they were all fishy and couldn’t talk right. Like deaf people. One of Scout’s uncle’s was deaf and he had a weird voice and he smelled like fish.

“Nothin’s wrong, I just ain’t gonna continue the conversation cuz yer not gonna answer me. I’m not that dumb, I know when I ain’t gonna win somethin’. That’s why I ain’t gonna try wrestlin’ Heavy no more.”

Tentaspy had a confused, curious look on his face. He tilted his head and upturned his eyebrows and pursed his lips and Scout thought he was really cute—dammit, Scout! Stop thinking Tentaspy is cute! He’s a squid-thing who talks weird and reminds you of your uncle! “Well, it is hard to explain, and it—it would sound rather disgusting if I did, but—” He turned to Sniper. Why did he turn to Sniper? “I suppose I could—show you?” He then looked back at Scout.

Wait.

What?

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold it!” Scout stood up on the side of the pool and held his hands up in front of him. “Dude, I-I was just curious, okay?! I ain’t no fag, s-so don’t show me, alright?!” He started to back away when Sniper somehow appeared behind him, gripped his shoulders, and made him sit back down.

“No worries, mate.” He gave a toothy grin. He walked over to Tentaspy while removing his own clothes, and Tentaspy crawled out of the water and looked up at Sniper with a happy face. Sniper got on his knees and kissed him, and Scout couldn’t help but stare.

Sniper had a really hairy chest and underneath Tentaspy’s clothes, he wasn’t as pale as Scout imagined. You could see the veins on his side clearly, but they didn’t really look like veins. You know when you’re looking at the bottom of a pool when the sun is out and shining and you see those moving patterns of light dancing across the bottom? Yeah, his veins looked like that. Actually, his whole body looked like that. It was assumed they were veins since they were more obvious on the sides and around his hands. Scout really liked it, though. His tentacles always looked like that, too, and Scout thought it was really cool. When he watched them kiss, he saw just how long Tentaspy’s tongue was, and just how sharp Tentaspy’s—well, he guessed both of their teeth were. It was weird to watch them kiss, but it was really hot, and Scout had never seen two dudes kiss—in his defense, he would convince himself that it was okay since Tentaspy wasn’t exactly a dude.

Tentaspy’s tongue seemed to be diving into the back of Sniper’s throat and was thrusting in and out. Scout noticed he’d scooted way closer than he started out and was licking his lips. Sniper was working on removing the rest of his clothing, and he had gotten down to his boxers. They had koalas on them, which Scout was too transfixed on their bodies to care, and his forearms and shins were really furry, but his legs were nice otherwise. Scout didn’t like hairy men, but it was alright if they had nice bodies, and Sniper was just lanky enough. Tentaspy, himself, had a pretty thin waist, but he had a nice chest and really nice, thin hands that looked like a woman’s and while Scout did like men, he also liked women and wasn’t sure if that was okay. He never said he liked women just to feel better about being a fag, he honestly, genuinely liked women.

Tentaspy and Sniper were biting each other’s lips and nipping at them with their sharp teeth and it looked like it felt so good since Tentaspy was making cute little moans and arching his back. He pulled away when he wrapped his arms around Sniper’s neck and smiled. A tentacle or two were trailing to Sniper’s stark erection that was almost poking out of his boxers, and Sniper bit his lip. They weren’t really talking, but in the stories Scout read, the two dudes were normally talking and saying really hot, dirty things to each other.

“It looks like something’s turning you on.” There comes the sexy talk. “You normally don’t get this hard this fast, Sniper. Is it because we have an audience?” He had this smarmy look to him, but it was fine, because it was hot. Sniper, in turn, let out this beautiful, low growl that made Scout tingle, and he pulled down his boxers and started stroking his cock. Sniper looked like he had a lot of foreskin because even when it was completely hard—or so Scout thought, he wasn’t sure—the foreskin covered the tip completely. He also had this little thicket of hair at the base of his cock, but the shaft and balls were hairless. God, Scout wanted to go over there and peel his foreskin back with his teeth and lick his slit and let Sniper fuck his throat. He didn’t notice that he made a needy little sound when Tentaspy got down and started nipping at the edge of the foreskin.

His sharp teeth were pulling back and releasing it and making a small, small little flicking sound, and his long, almost pointed tongue was swirling around the opening of the foreskin and looked like it was trying to swim underneath it. It didn’t go under it at all, though, but good God, Sniper was letting out this choked groans that made Scout hold his hand over the bulge in his pants and start massaging it. Tentaspy eventually stopped toying with the foreskin after slowly and agonizingly peeled it down with his sharp teeth. Sniper shuddered and let out what sounded like a shaky whine and forced Tentaspy’s head onto his cock.

Tentaspy was blowing Sniper for what seemed to be hours. It was so hot to watch and listen to that Scout had his pants and tighty whities around his knees by the end of it, his hard dick squeezed and gently stroked in his hand. Tentaspy was mostly being guided by Sniper‘s hands wrapped around his head, but he let out these—dare he say it—cute moans and was looking up at the man whose dick was in his mouth like this obedient little thing who wanted it. Scout was jerking it slowly so that he wouldn’t orgasm until they were actually doing it.

Sniper shoved Tentaspy down onto his back and sat up on his knees, fumbling with his pockets and pulling out a condom and slipping it onto his cock. Tentaspy was still letting out playful giggles despite the fact that both men were panting and seemed flushed. Tentaspy’s skin was a little bluer than it was before, but Scout wasn’t a marine octo-biologist, so he had no idea if it was because he was flushed. Tentaspy turned over onto his stomach and let Sniper spread his tentacles and Scout could see this quivering hole at the center of their mass. It was leaking and seemed to expand with each breath Tentaspy took, and Sniper put his cock up to the hole and slid in. God, the sound and arch Tentaspy made. Scout, himself, whined and tried not to masturbate harder.

Sniper leaned over the other man and muttered in his ear as his hips slowly ground against the other’s mantle. “How’s this feel for ya, darl?”

Tentaspy’s head was in his arms and his eyes were shut and his eyebrows were arching and good lord he looked so lovely. “I-I really, really love it when you are fucking me, ehhn—”

“Oh? Why’s that?” He gripped the bottom man’s hips and began thrusting, sitting upright as the tentacles squirmed happily around his torso. “Why ya like me fuckin’ ya?”

“Beca—ause—” He whined and his whole body seemed to be moving to the thrusts. “B-because your cock feels so nice inside of me—”

Sniper made a sound that sounded like he was trying to laugh but was panting too hard and settled for just fucking the other man, eliciting such lovely sounds. Scout had no idea how he managed to get so close to Tentaspy’s head or when he did but the other didn’t seem to mind and gladly put his lovely mouth on Scout’s dick. “Oh—h, yeah.” Scout threw his head back and stroked the back of the other’s head as he continued to make those beautiful moans as a result of getting violated and pounded and impaled by the other man’s cock. Sniper was smiling at Scout and ran a hand down Tentaspy’s back, and at some point, starting stroking Scout’s chest and pulled him into a kiss.

Scout was so happy. He’d never watched two men fuck, he’d never received a blow job, hell, he’d never even kissed anyone until just now. He wasn’t acting like a total virgin, he hoped. He also hoped he’d get—well, what do you know.

When Sniper finished inside of Tentaspy, Tentaspy lifted his head up from Scout’s dick and let out a happy whine as Sniper shuddered, gave a few last quick thrusts, and pulled out. Wow, he let out a lot, from what Scout could tell. He pulled off his condom, pulled out another, and rolled it onto Scout’s dick.

“Get on yer back and let him ride ya. That’s his favorite position besides doggy-style.”

Scout willingly obeyed and got on his back. Tentaspy happily and readily crawled over and sat in Scout’s lap, but instead of batting the tentacles away, he actually forced Tentaspy down and he felt his dick sinking into the other’s body and it was so hot and felt so wet and he could feel the other’s pulse and oh my God it was so wonderful. Scout closed his eyes and bit his lip and tried not to moan as the other ground his hips down and heard his tentacles writhing. Tentaspy stopped his grinding and then started bouncing up and down in the other’s lap, making those happy moans again.

“O-oh, Scout—” he leaned down onto his chest while still bouncing his hips, smiling and kissing the boy’s lips. “This feels so nice—” He let their bodies rock with each bounce of his hips.

Scout decided to give the dirty talk a try. “Damn, lettin’ two dudes fuck ya in a row? Yer pretty damn slutty, aren’t ya?”

Tentaspy responded with a keen, a deep kiss, and faster bouncing. Scout didn’t last long since he’d been masturbating since Tentaspy was blowing Sniper, and on account of him being a virgin. Well, he wasn’t anymore. But he orgasmed inside of the other man, whose entire body shuddered and his tentacles were writhing all over the place before they froze and were just shaking, and when Scout opened his eyes and saw more than just white stars blasting before him with glorious ecstasy, he saw Sniper staring right at him.

His eyebrow arched. And a disinterested look on his face.

Scout scrambled from his sheets—soaked, how about that—and was confused and panting and sweating and embarrassed and holy shit, had he been dreaming? Good God, the best thing to ever happen to him—watching his two best friends make out who were both really hot and then have sex and then get a blow job and then have sex with his friend—was all a dream. Why is it that the awesome things are never real? That fucking blew, man.

Sniper crossed his arms.

“Who’s pretty damn slutty?” He smirked.

Scout wanted to throw his pillow at him but his entire body was aching. He ran his fingers through his hair and answered after he caught his breath. “Uh, th-the Tentaspy.”

“—the bloody hell’s a—wow, mate, I thought I had weird fetishes, but you’re sittin’ there havin’ wet dreams about some bloody fictionary fish person.”

Scout threw his pillow at the other man despite his arms aching and the other man just laughed and sat down on the bed next to him. “It’s nothin’ at all to worry about, though. I won’t tell anyone.” He rubbed his back and Scout leaned against him. He was stilled dazed, but his mind was still going at a million miles a second like it normally was. Was that all really just a dream? But it seemed so real, and it seemed like he had this whole second life that didn’t seem questionable at all. But was it really just a dream?

He couldn’t believe it. He knew he had to, though.

At least he hadn’t dreamt that Sniper was his friend. And he had some nice material to masturbate to in the showers, too.