Since the reboot, this 'chan is experiencing a distinct lack of Spyro. Being the font of memes that he is, you have to spam Spyro out the ass, til he's not funny any more, then CONTINUE spamming Spyro until he is funny once again, then repeat. Every repost is a repost repost, so I'm told. This is Owl and Wol's fault. ---------------------------------------------------- "You're doing great, mang. If you ever get in a fight with an entire barn you will so totally kick its ass." Medgineer looked over at Spyro in annoyance. He was testing out his new needlegun; to be honest, the ballistics dropoff was more than he'd anticipated - the needles were heavier with their full load than he'd accounted for in his math, so his aim on this first run was pretty bad at the moment - but that was no need for the boy to be so damn - himself about it. Might as well test something else out and kill two birds with one stone - he swung his arm out casually to the side and pulled the trigger again. Spyro flinched as sharp pain pricked at his arm. "Hey! You faggot - you SHOT me!" He looked down at the needle and began to reach his other hand up to yank it out, but things were suddenly so fuzzy... ... "I was wondering when you were plannin' on waking up, boy." Medgineer's voice made Spyro's eyes snap open. "I was almost worried I'd miscalculated the dosage." He was still fuzzy from the dope (he knew tranqs when he felt them); it took him a moment to come around enough to try to move, and a moment after that to realize that the reason he couldn't had to do with rope. It was another long moment before he thought to wonder why he was naked. He started squirming, then - his arms tied above him, his legs spread-eagled; he was laid out on the workbench like another of the engineer's projects. "What the fuck, mang?" Medgineer came into view then. At least Spyro wasn't the only one who was naked. Wait, was that a good thing? "Finally givin' into my manly urges," the older man drawled drily. Work-roughened fingers trailed lightly up the sensitive underside of Spyro's cock, and Medgineer smirked as he shivered beneath the touch. "C'mon, boy, I've seen the way you look at me." "H-hey, mang, if you wanted my delicious man-cock you should've just asked." His voice was quavery, from the drugs and the shock of finding himself in such a position, bravado ringing false to his own ears. "Delicious, eh?" The smirk widened. "Hope you don't mind, boy, if I try it for myself - " He slid his mouth down, no teasing at all, and Spyro gasped, hips twitching automatically. The engineer licked his lips as he came back up, and again that dry drawl: "I've had better." Spyro couldn't even muster words, just "fffffff" - punctuated by a sharp "OH GOD" as Medgineer reapplied himself. He tried to move his hips, tried as hard as he could, but the engineer was holding him down - so strong - one hand gripping his hip, pinning him to the bench, the other teasing him, slow maddening circles of his thumb around his hole, occasionally sliding in just the slightest bit, and all the spy could do was shiver and make incoherent noises. Medgineer pulled away suddenly. "You ready for more, boy?" The sound Spyro made then was suspiciously whimpery. When the older man returned, his fingers were cool and slick, pushing into him, his other hand still holding Spyro motionless. A definite whimper escaped him then, and he mustered himself to make up for it. "Y-your fingers - are in - ngh - my pooper - " "Shut up, boy." Medgineer's tone was familiarly fond, but firm. "Don't make me gag you." He was strangely disappointed that the threat wasn't carried out - but then Medgineer was back at his cock, mouthing and licking, and his fingers were stretching him open - Spyro didn't have any jokes now, with those strong, capable hands working him over, clever fingers moving just so inside him. Hurry up and fuck me! He didn't want to say it, but if the other men kept doing that with his fingers, and his mouth - ohgod - "Fuck, you faggot, quit playing - " Medgineer pulled back and smirked again. Completely unfair that he's so calm - he had to be hard, Spyro knew it, because he was fucking dying. "You think you're ready for me, boy?" He raised his head - he was right, at least, he wasn't the only one getting something out of this, as Medgineer was slicking up his own cock. He swallowed and managed a pretty good smirk of his own, and a decent approximation of a Texas twang. "I've seen bigger." "This ain't the time t' talk about your porn watchin', boy." Then Medgineer was over him, between his legs, one hand propping him up while the other still held Spyro down, as he pushed his way inside. Maddeningly slowly, and Spyro tried desperately to wriggle free and push back against him, even as he panted: "That - nng - that all you got, old man?" Then the engineer thrust, hard and sharp, and the spy was reduced to inarticulate noises again - every move Medgineer made hitting him just right, fireworks exploding behind his eyelids, oh god, oh god, oh god - ... He opened his eyes slowly, his vision swimming with the aftereffects of strong tranquilizers. Wait - what? He was propped against the wall - He was clothed - He was - uh - sticky. Wha- A low chuckle from across the room, and he blinked his way into focussing on Medgineer, sitting at his workbench with his needlegun in hand and smirking over his shoulder at the spy. "Well, boy - you have a nice nap?"
Haha, oh my gosh, Marty, thanks. I literally don't have any of the Spyro things saved to my hard drive anymore because of crashes, so I'm glad you had at least one and every time he pops up in one of your stories I grin
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The very best of Spyro. Now with the correct version of Hoovy's perversion. ------------------------------------ WARNING: CONTAINS [inexplicit] REFERENCES TO DISTURBING SEXUAL PRACTICES The old Scout left the RED team in an epic dramabomb following one of Spyro's practical jokes involving apple juice and piss jars, and the new one had the misfortune of being met at the train platform - without any prior knowledge of the team, or the circumstances that had called for him to come in as a mid-season replacement - by his new team's Spy. Generally speaking, Scouts and Spies get on like cookies and milk, so being taken under this one's wing immediately was perfectly explainable and generally Right and Proper. The usual tour of the base was cut unusually short, nothing more than a vague point and wave ("the cafeteria's down there, bathrooms are at the end of this hall, there's signs for the battlement and you can read, right? Great, here's your room"), and Scout was basically expecting to be tossed upon his bed and ravished immediately. Instead, Spy pulled the chair out from the little desk in the room, turned it around, straddled it, lit a neatly-rolled cigarette that didn't smell entirely like tobacco, and said: "Look, kiddo, I don't want to scare you, but I've got to warn you about what you're getting into here." Scout's eyes widened as he sat on the bed. "Whaddaya mean?" "This team..." Spy shrugged eloquently. "It's quite a collection of characters. You heard about what happened to the last Scout, right?" "No, what?" Spy blew two thin streams of smoke out his nose, looking at Scout critically; then he shook his head, his mouth set in a firm but worried line. "I won't go into details. You look awfully young. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut." Scout shifted nervously. "C'mon, man, you can't do that. I gotta know." "Well..." Spy looked toward the door to be sure it was shut tight. "Let's just start off by saying, never let yourself be alone around Medic. If it comes down to a choice between him and your pistol..." He cocked a finger to his temple and twitched his thumb. Scout bit his lip. "Why? What's he do that's that awful?" "Look, I'm not trying to scare you, I just think you ought to be prepared. All I'm going to say is that our last Pyro actually quit the business after his little trip to the infirmary. That poor kid." Spy shook his head sorrowfully. "And Soldier... Well, I guess it doesn't matter too much in the great scheme of things, because you wouldn't be conscious for it anyway..." "What? I wouldn't be conscious for what?" "All you really have to worry about is if you're out there - look, is this your first assignment?" "No way, man, do I look like a rookie to you? This is my second," said Scout, with wounded pride. "Calm down, it wasn't an insult. I was just checking that you know all about how it works once the sirens go off. If you ever come across a body out there that hasn't been picked up by the respawn system yet, I really suggest you not stick around near it. Because if Soldier comes across it... he'll be coming across it. It's not fun to watch." Scout's nose wrinkled in disgust. "You mean he - " "Not the way you're thinking, either. He carries an ice cream scoop in one of those ammo pouches. You know how big an ice cream scoop is?" Spy held his fingers out in a circle approximating the size, then raised the circle to his eye socket. Scout gagged a little. "You're KIDDING." "I wish I was." Spy took another extended drag of his cigarette. "Does this look like the face of a man who would lie to you?" "Well, you are a Spy..." Spy's glare was withering. "I'm trying to help you out here." Scout actually looked penitent. "Sorry, man. So I keep away from Medic and Soldier, I'm good?" "Well, they're the only ones who're likely to hurt you - well, them and Engineer, but that's different - " "Whaddaya mean?" "The man is hung like a horse. I mean literally. A horse. I went there once and I couldn't walk straight for a week. So you might want to be careful around that. I mean, you're a smart kid, you know how this stuff works. You have to be able to walk, run around - that's your job. You don't want to end up with an occupational injury, here." Scout started to laugh, but the look on Spy's face was deadly serious. "I mean it. I think the man actually invented some kind of machine for it. A horse, kiddo. A horse. Think about it. Have you ever seen Mr. Hands?" "N-no..." "Come up to my room sometime, I have a laptop and my wifi comes through most of the time. You will learn, young padawan. And you will learn in a way much safer for your underpants zone than by getting first-hand experience down in the workroom. A horse, Scout. I'm not joking." Scout shifted nervously on the bed again. "Okay, Spy, if you say so..." "Now, Heavy's waaaay on the other side of that spectrum, but he probably won't bother you unless you start taking baths in mayonnaise. You might be pretty whitebread, but you're not WHITE BREAD, and you definitely don't have any tomatoes." "Huh?" "If you ever get the midnight munchies, you know, as some people do - " Spy paused for another pull of smoke - "make sure there's nobody already in the kitchen. That's all I'm going to say." "Awww, c'mon, man, you can't just leave it at that!" "Have you ever witnessed, your eyes wide in horror, as the tip of a man's penis emerges and retracts, emerges and retracts, in sexual rhythms from between the ham and cheese of a deli sandwich, lit dimly by the little bulb inside the refrigerator, and as the fat man takes his pleasure from the yielding lunchmeat, he huffs and pants and leans against the fridge so the door closes and opens, closes and opens, the light blinking off and on, off, on, off, on, like some kind of disgustingly erotic rave in a Subway?" Scout blinked. "What the fuck, man?" "I wish I knew," said Spy sadly. "What these eyes have seen, they cannot unsee, and I wouldn't wish the same fate upon you." "Man, this place is fucked up." "Well, it's not just our side, you know. We don't have a Sniper right now, but the other side does, and - are you into watersports?" Scout perked up. "I used to waterski!" "Wrong kind, kiddo. Anyway, don't get the wrong idea. Not everybody is that bad. Demo's a real sweetheart, after all. You can hardly even tell he has Down's syndrome. Very high-functioning. And he's a furry, of course, but you can chalk that up to the genetic disorder. He thinks he's a flying squirrel - that's why he likes to sticky-jump so much. Just humor him, maybe give him a Nut Zipper once in a while if you've got any. Oh, and be careful not to drop the soap in the shower, but that's just standard-issue advice for a Scout, isn't it?" Spy rose to leave, and as his hand touched the doorknob, Scout called after him: "Wait, what about Pyro?" Spy paused. "Oh, her? She's a dickgirl, but don't worry, she's a lesbian dickgirl. Won't trouble you at all." Spy disappeared. The rest of the team had no idea why the new Scout was acting so strange around them at dinner that evening.
You lost all your Spyrofic? That's tragic. Allow me to assist. Here's the first Spyro fic appearance that I'm aware of. ---- Gentlemen. And ladies (hello). I am the Spyro. My team believes I am a pyro. The other team believes I am two people. In actuality, I am a single card-carrying member of the International Espionage and Intelligence Workers' Union (UIEEI, it's based out of France) (yes, it's pronounced "wee;" I was kicked out of my first meeting for giggling). A full-fledged spy. Cloaks, disguises, backstabs, revolver games, nicotine addiction, danger, action, poncy accent - all this and more can be yours for the low, low price of me. (I mean, not that I'm cheap or anything. Anyway, I make union scale.) I just come with Free Bonus Pyro. This whole thing started a couple of years ago in a bar, as so many of the best things do. The union, being French, was on strike, and I took the opportunity for a little vacation - it's nice to be able to travel once in a while without it involving breaking the government of my destination, which tends to interfere with my sunbathing and pub-crawling time. (Not that I would do much sunbathing while on a job anyway - union rules state that an active spy must wear his mask at all times, and there's something sublimely ridiculous in the sight of a man wearing nothing but a balaclava. Besides, the tan-lines that result are horrible.) Anyway, I was in Jamaica, having a smoke and a Red Stripe in a beachfront cantina, when I heard a familiar voice call out my old college nickname. (I'm not telling you what it is.) It was my sophomore-year roommate - we'd done our general studies together until he decided to major in Pyro and transferred to a different campus. We spent a while reminiscing over wild times in the good old days, and then he started telling me about how great it had turned out being a pyro. He made some really good points, and showed me this really neat trick you can do to use the gas mask for smoking. (It makes your eyes go really red, but man, it's worth it - and nobody can tell behind the lenses anyway.) I countered by pointing out that a spy can be ANYONE, and that's when The Idea struck. I pumped him for more information on being a pyro, and did some research on my own after I got home. The obvious perks of getting to play with fire and wear a mask that doubles as a smoking implement are backed up with a host of other advantages that the recruiters and guidance counselors never mention for some reason. It's true of all professions - we spies can get discount airfare and hotel if we book through the union, and I've seen ophthalmologists who offer half off for demos. Pyros get some pretty neat stuff, though: lower rates on car insurance, a special menu at Taco Bell, and - best of all - free gas. And don't forget that flamethrower. Well, the idea was looking pretty good to me (especially the insurance and gas breaks; UIEEI had just settled a pretty big lawsuit against some outfit called Your Logistics Warehouse or something, and I'd dropped my cut on a really nice motorcycle). I sat on it for a while, and then opportunity knocked. You see, after we came back from the strike, we all got new assignments. Me? I was put on a team that didn't have a pyro. It seems their last one had caught a rather bad case of the deads, and PHIRE (their union - don't ask me what it stands for; I've been told a couple of times but never quite made it out clearly. I think it's Spanish) hadn't gotten around to assigning a replacement. Their loss, my gain, no? So right before my airlift dropped down, I disguised as a friendly pyro. If the helicopter noticed, he didn't let on, but honestly I didn't expect it to work very long once I got out of the chopper. Surely one of my new teammates would be on top of things enough to know that they were expecting a spy, or else someone would catch me slipping up somewhere (I was top of my class at disguising, but I'd never done it longer than an hour or two at a time before - it can get hard to remember to stay in character). Surely, surely they would at least question why I hadn't brought my own flamethrower. I'd be caught out by the end of the evening, we'd all have a laugh, and I would be their Spy with but a minor disappointment at missing out on the Taco Bell. Only they didn't. Apparently running two men short for so long had gotten them kind of disorganized - besides which, I have the usual feeling of brothers-in-arms camaraderie for my teammates, but I have to say they probably weren't too well-organized at the best of times. At any rate, they were thrilled to finally have a Pyro again. They welcomed me with open arms, hooking me up with the old Pyro's gear and even holding a special cookout as a welcome party. A lesser spy might have blown his cover there, but I am one damn find hand at lighting fires (really, I'm a natural Spyro!); plenty of hot dogs, beer, and enjoyment were had by all. My teammates' oblivious acceptance turned what began as a brief joke into a challenge that's the biggest joke of all: how long can I keep this up? I thought I'd lost the game the next afternoon, when the enemy started a skirmish. I had never actually used a flamethrower before - welding torches and such, yes, but not a real FlameThrower brand portable barbecue. I was doing my best, though, and as their Scout jumped narrowly out of my way I heard him call out to his teammates: "Yo, they got a new Pyro!" Despite my pride in my abilities at disguising and Pyroing, I was quickly becoming aware of a few of the drawbacks of the profession. First of all, it's hot inside that chemsuit. I bet my old roommate wears his commando, but since I was expecting to be caught out at any moment, I had on the full three-piece suit that goes with my official position, as well as the balaclava beneath the gas mask. (I've gotten used to the heat by now, but it took a certain amount of acclimatisation and a lot of experimentation with different deodorant brands). It's also a hell of a workout - the flamethrower weighs a good forty pounds on its own, and then there's the tanks strapped onto your back, too. For a man accustomed to carrying nothing heavier than a revolver, it was quite an adjustment. Even without the flamethrower, it's hard to run in that suit - it makes you feel sort of slow and clumsy. And on top of everything else, I wanted a cigarette. It was that need for nicotine that made me consider dropping my disguise; it was a near miss from a scoped rifle that clued me in to their Sniper's position and gave me justification. As a Pyro, I'd have a hell of a time getting up there to dispatch him, but as a Spy... I Stealth Pyroed my way further in, then looked for a safe place to change. There weren't any phone booths handy, but I figured the breakroom ought to be good enough. No one would stop in for coffee any time soon. I killed the flamethrower, dropped the tanks, and peeled the suit off; stowed everything in the cabinet under the coffeemaker, where I would be able to grab it and throw it back on with a quickness a bit later; and lit my first blessed cigarette. Ah, sweet, sweet tobacco! I continued on my mission, creeping sneakilly up towards where the enemy sniper lay, completely unaware of my very existence, secure in the knowledge that he was safe from backstabs because my team didn't even have a spy. I swear, it felt like my heart grew three sizes that day. I cloaked against friend and foe alike on my way in and back out; and even though it was gratifying to be a spy who was so spy-y that no one even knew he was a spy, it was also gratifying to hear the other team's Scout again: "Sniper's down - oh shit, Sniper's backstabbed. Oh shit, they've got a Spy now too!" Very, very gratifying. I am the Spy so spy-y that he is two people at once. It's been quite a while now and I must say I like it. The perks are great, the heavy gear has really toned my arms and pecs, and I get a little frisson of satisfaction every time I light some poor bastard on fire, then turn around and stab his sucker friends. It's still a bitch to take a smoke break, though. By this point I'm pretty sure that if the truth came out my teammates would be embarrassed into lynching me. If PHIRE ever gets on the ball, I'll have to see if the new guy is willing to pretend to be a spy. If not, I suppose I'll just backstab him. It will obviously have been the other team's fault. After all, everyone over here knows that our team doesn't have a Spy.
And another. ---- Sniper was just settling in to his nest when he heard the muffled singing. "Tim, I wish you were born a girl, so I could've been your boy~friend~ " Well, there was no mistaking that voice. "Where the hell are you, Spyro, you wanker?" A ventilation duct overhead swung open and a gas-masked face peered down. "Ceiling Pyro is watching you masturbate." "Fag Pyro is a faggot," Sniper countered. "No, Sniper, you are the homosexuals!" Spyro dropped down into the room and fell to his knees, doing his best to make it look like he'd done it on purpose as he crawled forward to straddle the other man. "And then Sniper was gay." "You are such a queer," said Sniper, letting his hands settle on the spy's slim suited hips. "Hey, you're the one who was just jerking off thinking about my amazing man-cock, you massive homo." "I wasn't even, arsefag - " Sniper began. Spyro cut him off as he slid Sniper's vest from his shoulders. "Only because you were waiting a couple minutes hoping I'd show up like this. Don't even try to lie to me, mang, I know how much you want my ass." "Oh, for Christ's sake." Sniper reached up and tugged Spyro's tie loose, sliding his thumbs under the bottom edge of the gas mask. "Take this bloody thing off, it's bad enough having to listen to you talk without having to translate it out of pyro-speak too." "What, you're not into the gimp thing?" Spyro tilted his head back and led Sniper pull his mask off, his own fingers working on the other man's blue shirt. "Got better things you can do with your mouth than running it non-stop," Sniper growled fondly. Spyro laughed and pulled Sniper close, arms sliding around him and face tucking into the crook of his neck. He licked a stripe up to Sniper's ear and bit at the lobe. "Are you saying you want me to kiss you on the no-nos? But - but that would be GAY!" "Only if the balls touch, mate." "Yeah, but you're all about touching balls, mang." Spyro grinned as he stripped Sniper's shirt off. "You've been thinking about touching my balls all day, don't even lie." "You'd like to think that, you faggot." Sniper pushed Spyro back and rolled them both over, pinning the spy to the floor. Spyro grinned up at him, wiggling to let Sniper's hands reach the buttons of his clothes. "Yeah, keep calling me a faggot, you homo - you like being on top, don't you? Lets you pretend you're not a massive fucking queer like we both know you are." Sniper grinned back and rolled his eyes without stopping what he was doing. "You're the one who wants it up the ass, mate." "You're the one thinking about my ass all day." Spyro gasped a little as Sniper tugged his trousers down and wrapped a hand around him. "You're touching me where the bathing suit covers!" "Yeah, and I'll even let you call me daddy if you want." "Goddamn, you pervert - I knew you were into this delicious shota, but isn't incest going a little too far?" "I'll go a little too far with you, alright." Sniper took his hand away long enough to slick up his other fingers, pushing into him hard - one finger, then two, as he went back to work tugging at Spyro's cock. Spyro bit back a moan. "Daddy, no! That's the naughty zone!" "Oh, shut up. Forget I said anything, you colossal fairy." "Oh, but I like the things you say. They get me all wet in the panties." "If you're gettin' wet in your frilly lace pants, mate, it's because you're pissin' yourself." "Is that better or worse than pissing in jars? Don't answer that, mang - I'm not into watersports." "No, you're just into my cock, you homogay." Sniper pulled away again, yanking Spyro's trousers the rest of the way off and tugging his own down. "Into my cock being in you - faggot - " "Hell yeah, stick it in my pooper - fill me up with your delicious man-meat - " "I'll fill you up with delicious bloody kukri if you don't shut up - " "Oh god, Sniper, keep talking guro to me!" "Faggot - " "Queer - " "Faggot - " "Queer - " "Faggot - " "Harder, Sniper! I want you to fill me with your delicious cream!" "Fuck you," Sniper groaned, his fingers digging into Spyro's hips as the other man bucked beneath him. "You are!" "And you're loving it, assfag." Sniper pounded into him hard and fast, barely remembering to keep pulling at the other man's cock, Spyro's gloved fingers digging into his back; they both fell almost silent, just the occasional "faggot" or "queer" tossed back and forth between pants and stifled groans. Spyro came first, back arching, eyes closed, hissing between gritted teeth: "Yes, Daddy, yes!" Sniper bit him on the shoulder. "Fucking gayfag - " It wasn't long before he was coming too, as Spyro wrapped his legs around his waist, kissed him, murmured "give me that delicious man chowder" in his ear. After a moment, Spyro pushed Sniper off him and rummaged through his discarded suit jacket for a baggie. He rolled a smoke and took a long drag from it before passing it over. He sighed contentedly. "I came brix."
Wow, thanks, Strategery! I'd never seen either of these before.
Aww, no trouble. Plenty more where that came from. Have some bonus Noob Pyro with your Spyro. ---- A streak of blue flew across the yard, with a streak of red right behind it. The streak of red was shouting: "WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU! WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU!" The streak of blue scrambled up a hill, panting. "You've been chasing me for nine days! Stop trying to fuck me!" The streak of red followed. "WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU!" "Stop! This is a bad thing! I don't want it!" "Aw, come on, Pyro, you've let everybody else do it - " "You're not even on my TEAM," wailed the BLU, still climbing the hill. Spyro - you totally knew it was him - snatched at Noob's ankle and missed. "I could PRETEND!" "No! Do not want! Why do you have to be such a jerk?" "Hey, jerking, there you go - WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GONNA JERK YOU OFF, is that better?" "Nooooo!" "Oh, you WANT it up the ass?" "Nooooo!" "I mean, if you wanna top, that's ok, it's just kinda weird - " Spyro made another failed attempt to grab at Noob - " - kinda weird for me to be chasing you and then YOU fuck ME, y'know?" "I don't WANT to fuck you!" "Blowjob?" "Nooooo!" Spyro grabbed again, and this time got hold of Noob's ankle, yanking him flat and pulling him back down the hill while Noob flailed wildly and tried to dig his fingers into the dirt. "I CAUGHT YOU! YOU GON GIT RAPED!" "Stop! No! DO NOT WANT!" Noob wailed and tried to kick free. "You say that to all the boys. Literally all of them, I've heard stories - " Noob's fingers scrabbled frantically among loose rocks as Spyro dragged him away. "I know I basically live in a reluctance/consent fic but I really MEAN it this time!" "You liiiiiiiiiiike it," Spyro sing-songed, still tugging. "NO! BAD TOUCH! I NEED AN ADULT!" "Hey, shut up, mang, that's my line!" Noob weeped quietly, still wriggling and trying to claw at the ground, as Spyro pulled him across the yard and into the RED base. "Why does this always happen to me?" he sniffed, clinging to the threshold of the door. Spyro leaned over and pried Noob's fingers up one by one. "Because you are delicious shota and we must has it." "I don't want to be delicious shota!" "You wanted to be a lumberjack?" "...What do lumberjacks have to do with anything?" "They rape people too!" Noob just wailed again, as Spyro dragged him into a supply closet and locked the door behind them. "There, now take off your pants for your rape party," Spyro said. Noob began to obey automatically. "Holy shit, you actually did it." Spyro just looked at the BLU pyro for a moment before jumping on top of him. Noob immediately realized how dumb he was and started trying to push Spyro back off; but the damage was already done. "YOUR RESISTANCE ONLY MAKES MY PENIS HARDER!" "I hate my life!" "DON'T WORRY, I WILL COMFORTFUCK YOU AFTERWARD!" "I don't think it even WORKS that way!" "Don't think of it as rape, think of it as the sex you never knew you wanted!" "I STILL don't want it!" Noob's chemsuit was being stripped off of him like a banana peel despite his best efforts, pulling the zipper back up every time Spyro pulled it down. "You will once I get started!" "Do not want! This is rape!" "YOU CAN'T RAPE THE WILLING!" "I KEEP TELLING YOU I'M NOT WILLING!" "And I don't believe you! You never mean it when you say that!" "How would you even know I don't even know you you jackass - " "Lessee, how about Demo?" "That was an accident!" "O rly? What about Scout, then?" "HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TEETH THINK ABOUT WHERE HE PUT THEM I COULDN'T SAY NO" "Medic AND Heavy AT THE SAME TIME, you kinky little boy?" "THEY STARTED THAT and it would have been impolite to say n - HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF?" "FYI I am a Spy - " "Oh my god you're terrible!" "NOT IN BED!" "I hate you!" "Are you ready?" "Am I wh-- " "SURPRISE! BUTTSECKS!" "AUGH" -- Later: "What you did to Pyro was RAPE, boy." "HONK HONK!" And then Medgineer was confused.
That was the best, EVER.
I...I am not even sure what I just read. I am laughing so hard I can not stop. And Marty? >>5 The description of Heavy's kink made me actually nearly throw up from how hard I was laughing.
>>11 Oh, I didn't write that. That is the mark of Owl Tiem's hand! I just reposted it, so that the 'chan would not lose such glory.
Chan, don't let this die!
>>13 Please look at the date of your post. Then look at the date of the post before that. Notice anything? THIS IS A REPOST AND IT'S 10 MONTHS OLD GODDAMMIT. It is dead and you are an idiot. Stop digging up old posts unless you have something OF SUBSTANCE to add to them. It's annoying as fuck.
>>14 This is Spyro. He lives to annoy and drag old memes out of the darkness to which they have been consigned. This necrobump is entirely appropriate in this thread only.
HERJIN': a Spyro story, by Owl Tiem "I learned a new word last night!" "Was it go away I'm busy?" "That's four words, you fag. That's as many as four ones, and that's terr." Medgineer ignored him. This was, of course, the Cardinal Sin and he would go to hell and burn forever for it, but he did it all the fucking time anyway and Spyro rarely actually bothered to start the "burning forever" bit because if he did that he would not be getting any from that quarter for at least a week and he wasn't even going near Sniper anymore now that he knew the guy was into fucking pissing on people, goddamn. "Herjin'," Spyro said proudly. Medgineer kept ignoring him. "Don't you even wanna know what it means, mang?" "No." "Too bad, I will demonstrate." Spyro pushed things out of his way so he could sit on Medgineer's desk, and kept a death grip on the edge with one hand so he couldn't be pushed off as he unzipped his pants. "I learned this from the internet," he explained proudly, herjing his cock hard, before biting his lip with the intensity of the effort. "You're sitting on my stapler," Medgineer observed. "I knew something was raping me," Spyro gasped, "but it is hella worth it. Adds to the whole herjin' experience - " Suddenly, he herjed all over Medgineer's goggles. "Aww, yeah," said Spyro smugly. "I hate you, boy."
Have some more Medgineer/Spyro. Wol Thyme, this time. --- "Boy, I do believe I have never heard a worse lie in my LIFE," Medgineer said, not even looking up from his blueprints. He erased something perfunctorily, then scribbled something to replace it, continuing his work as Spyro nonsensed at him. "I can top it. No, seriously! I'm not actually a Spic, I'm a Native American, and it's my LEGAL RIGHT to have access to hallucinogenics for my spiritual - somethings. Yeah." Medgineer pushed his glasses up and frowned at Spyro. "Boy, you can't top NOTHIN. And I ain't givin' you nothin, even if you keep on with your crazy mouthin'." Spyro pushed himself off the desk and lazily sauntered into Riley's space, little predatory smirk spreading across his face. "Oh, I can't, can't I?" he murmured, practically growling it. Medgineer swallowed. "Face it boy, you just ain't any good at it, not when you ain't in costume." "No? I'm not in costume *now*-" Spyro purred, leaning in close. "Uh- what d'you think you're doin, boy - !" Medgineer gasped as Spyro pushed off his hat and kissed him hard. Riley reached up to push Spyro away, but Spyro's gloved hands were sliding into his overalls, cupping his ass and squeezing slightly. He bit Medgineer's lower lip, tugging gently, and Medgineer's hands tightened on Chad's upper arms, completely torn. "Boy - what -" "Fuck your BUSY," Spyro growled, and Medgineer whimpered. "Nngh - Spy -" and it is, Spyro was acting like an actual Spy, now, instead of himself, and even though he's not wearing a costume he might as well be. Medgineer wished he didn't like it, knew it made him a terrible person, a hypocritical Engineer like those bastards he hated, he didn't want to be - but he couldn't deny that his cock was hard, can't deny that all his work, all that BUSY was going right out of his head. It's not like this was a stranger to him - this was of course the same Spy that came after him mad as hornets when he'd been too busy to be doctoring up the boy's stupidity, but Spyro'd never - that Spy'd never - pushed him up against a table with *sexual* intent. Not like this. Spyro's just grinning that Spy-y grin, all teeth and intent, like he wants to fuck Riley on top of all these blueprints, and oh God, Riley wants him to. "No more math, *boy*," he says then, mocking, and his mouth's pressed up against Medgineer's again, coaxing tongue and biting teeth in another fierce kiss. "You like it. You *want* me to fuck you, don't you. Want me to bend you over this table - fuck you into your scribblings and math like a Spy taking an Engineer -" Medgineer didn't whimper, but it was a close thing, a shuddering moan, echoing against the concrete. He can feel his cock rubbing a slick spot into his shorts. "Yeah, mang. I'm gonna fuck you so hard - tell me you want it. Beg for it." Riley's cock drooled more precome into his shorts, and he realized he's practically humping Spyro's leg, rubbing almost painfully into the denim of his overalls - but Spyro's pulling away, still smiling that shark-smile, eyes smouldering dangerously. "*Please* -" Medgineer murmured, and that smile just got larger. "Take off your pants," Spyro ordered, voice cool and collected, but Medgineer saw him reach up to adjust himself, and he swallowed before reaching up to unhook his straps. The bib fell forward, pooling over the bulge of his erection. He hooked his thumbs under his waistband and pulled his shorts down, leaving him bare-ass naked against his work stool. His cock twitched under Spyro's appraisal, and more precome oozed down his slit. "Now, beg," Spyro said. Medgineer swallowed again. "Please," he said again, louder, voice hoarse with want. "Please what?" "Please -" Medgineer could hear his heartbeat echoing in his ears, and he felt hot all over, skin prickling with electric tension. He hadn't been this turned on in *years*. "Please fuck me. *Please*." Spyro inspected his gloves, taking them off carefully, like he's hardly even paying attention to Riley. He shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the dispenser. "More," he said, turning back to the half-naked Medgineer. "More begging." "I- I want it. Fuck me - o-over the table. Like the - the Engineer I am. Please, Spy - fuck -" Then Spyro was kissing him again, bare hand sliding up his cock, and Medgineer couldn't help fucking into Chad's tight fist, blood rushing in his head, slick and tight - then it stopped. "Turn around," and Medgineer groaned, but Spyro was fumbling with his belt, and he turned as ordered, leaning over his blueprints - he'll never be able to look at these blueprints again, he hoped they weren't important as his wet cock smeared across the papers, an unspec valve diagram flying across the room - as Spyro pushed his trousers down, pulling lube out of his pocket as he did. Pressure stroked lightly across his asshole, surprisingly gentle, too gentle. "Please -" fell out of his mouth unbidden, and a loud moan as a finger slipped carefully inside. In a corner of his mind unclouded by pheromones, he knew he'd be grateful later - it'd been awhile since he'd gotten fucked - but he wanted, and he couldn't help pushing back against Spyro's hand as one, then two fingers stretched him open. He heard himself crying obscenely, "fuck me, please, please fuck me, c'mon -" and that's three fingers sliding wetly inside him, stroking - yes, yes! across his prostate, and he groaned and dropped his head to the table, unable to hold it up anymore. "Yeah - fuck. Beg for it -" Spyro's voice was shaky, not the cool, collected Spy anymore, but Chad now, and it didn't matter anymore, he just WANTS. "*Please*-" he moaned, and bit down on his lip as Chad's fingers slid out, and the blunt head of his cock nudged Riley's hole. Medgineer pushed back, still biting into his lower lip, as Spyro presses forward, all the way inside. Medgineer breathed hard for a moment, adjusting to the invasion. Spyro laughed shakily, starts, "heh - mang -" "Shut up and fuck me," Riley hissed back, not wanting Spyro to ruin it, and he can *hear* Spyro pout. "*I'm* on top," he complained, but he obliged, rolling his hips, and he was rewarded by Medgineer's low groan. "Yeah - fuck, yes, God," Medgineer panted, and Spyro echoed him. "God, so good, fuck -" Spyro's hand slid around Medgineer's waist, fumbling for, then wrapping around his cock, and Medgineer moaned long and loud, fucking into Spyro's fist. "You like it - you like me topping, fucking you like this." "Ngh - yes," Medgineer grunted, then bit his lip to keep from making more noise, but Spyro wasn't finished. "Say it -" "Fuck -" Medgineer groaned, and Spyro stopped, thighs quivering with the effort of *not moving*. "Say it," he repeated, making it an order, the fingers of the hand clutching his hip digging in just slightly, and Medgineer moaned low and loud. "God, fuck, *Spy*-" but Spyro still wasn't moving, not 'til he got what he wanted, and Medgineer shuddered and gave in. "Fuck - yes, I like it, fuck me! Like - fuck - like this, *please*, Spy -" Then Spyro was slamming into him again, really fucking him, and Medgineer couldn't even speak anymore, just moan and gasp as Spyro fucked him, as Spyro's hand pumped his dick, so close, right there, right *there*, each stroke bumping his prostate, pushing him higher - "You close? You gonna come for me?" Spyro breathed, trying to make himself heard over the sounds of skin against skin, over the sounds of their breathing, over Medgineer's cries. "Come all over your important BUSY work? C'mon, mang -" and Medgineer groaned, closing his eyes hard enough to squeeze tears out as he spilled helplessly over Spyro's fingers, spattering his papers. "God - so hot, mang," Spyro moaned, hips stuttering, and Medgineer's cock twitched in Spyro's hand as he tried to remember how to breathe again, can't breathe with Spyro still on top, still *inside* him, hitting his prostate still as he thrusts, so close himself and unable to stop - "Want to - gonna jizz in your butt, mang, right here, yeah - fuck -" "Shut up, boy," Medgineer gasped, and Spyro groaned, shuddering, heat filling Medgineer up as he came, collapsing onto Medgineer's back. "Can't top, huh?" Spyro breathed finally, and Medgineer rolled his eyes. "Get offa me, boy."
Oh god, I forgot about the Sniper and Spyro one. Not gonna make the same mistake twice, brb saving them all. Only one request. Does ANYBODY have the Healiebees fic? Polite Necrobump of only 15 days.
I am standing at the peak of WTF Mountain, and I never want to come down.
Seeing as this is Spyro, and this isn't the front page, nessesary necro.
Fuck you(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)