(A friend of mine drank a Jägerbomb and wrote this a few minutes ago. I typed it up in comic sans and I didn't know what else to do with it, so I figured I'd give it to you. I was informed that the three exclamation marks, by the way, are totally obligatory.) My name is Engineer. I like being an Engineer. I get lonely because RED Demoman sneaks off with BLU Soldier and I hear their screams of pleasure when I work on my sentry gun. I wish I had someone. As I slowly pound on my sentry gun I think about being with someone else. CLANK CLANK CLANK. The harder I whack that sentry gun, the harder I think about pounding a warm body. My gun is at level two… if only I could get to level three. Harder and harder I hit the gun. I can’t stop. I think about the gun’s shaft and the destruction my sentry gun can do. Boom boom boom. They’re all dead. Easy. Warm corpses and blood. No more loneliness. I hit harder and harder. CLANK CLANK CLANK. I stop to look at my beauty. She’s so purdy. Covered in my hard work and ready to riddle anyone with bullets. SENTRY GOING UP!!!
Uh, thanks for sharing, I guess?
So much fail.
This is amazing. I cried.
Absolutely horrible in the best way. There's not enough sentryporn in the world.