I'm not really sure where this is going, other than eventual Trucks 'n Vans. Suggestions pertaining to the character development of Engie are welcome. Hopefully, I have formatted all my shit correctly... holdin' mah breath ------------------------------------------------------------ They all gathered to greet the new arrival, with the exception of their outcast Sniper. Scout was most lively by far. The conversation on the platform centred mostly around what the new Engineer would be like, after the most recent one had left for Coldfront. Engineers, Soldier argued, were created by God to be soft on the outside and steel on the inside, like an apricot. Scout agreed; Engineers even occassionally broke teeth, just like apricots. Medic imagined a man both cultured and courteous, and Spy guessed at a gentle, paternal personality that covered up some maniacal thirst for violence. Heavy refrained from voicing his opinion, his thoughtful reverie interrupted by the squeal of the arriving train-- the train that brought the replacement for the Texan who had just left their nine-man family. Scout hopped in place as the train slowed to a stop, bursting with nervous anticipation, until Soldier grabbed a bandaged arm and forced the runner still. When the new Engineer stepped out of the passenger car of the supply train with a bag in each hand, all the chatter stopped. For a moment, they stared at him and he stared back, the wind whistling through the valley in the awkward silence. “He looks like the same person,†whispered Demo to Soldier. Heavy nudged the Scot indignantly. “Yeah, you’re right,†Soldier whispered back. Heavy nudged him too. “Welcome,†Medic offered, glasses glinting in the afternoon sun. “Hello,†the man replied quietly. He surveyed the motley crew, expression indiscernible but somehow critical beneath his black goggles. Everyone shifted uncomfortably under the man’s omnidirectional gaze. This Engineer, they thought, he’s different. Not like any apricot they’d ever seen. The man finished reviewing his new team members. “There should be eight people,†he said, turning back to address Medic. “That’d be Sniper,†Scout blurted from the back, unable to contain his excitement. “He’s probably spying on us from his stupid tower, you know, dose Aussies--†“I wasn’t speaking to you, boy.†Scout shut up immediately. The old Engineer would have never used such a harsh tone on him before-- calling full-grown men ‘boy’ was an expected regional quirk, but with that attitude? No way, José. He said as much. The Engineer set his bags down, pulled out a pistol, and shot the runner in the face. Soldier let out a surprised yelp, grabbing at his shovel reflexively. The dead man’s blood slowly dripped into a conveniently placed storm drain. “He’s connected to respawn,†the Engineer reminded the shocked expressions around him as he re-holstered his weapon. “Now, where’s my workshop?†Medic quickly took it upon himself to direct their new team member to his quarters before he killed anyone else. “Well, I was half-right,†Spy said when the two men were gone. “About the violent part.†“No,†murmured a voice from behind a wall partition. Sniper trotted out from his hiding space to the stupefied group with a faraway expression behind his aviators. “He’s just efficient.†The team stared dumbly at his back as he returned to base. ----- Medic guided the new Engineer to the workshop, where several sentries in various states of repair were mounted on messy worktables scattered around the dark, expansive room. He flicked up all of the labeled light switches on a nearby power box, flooding the area with a blinding luminescence. “Our last Engineer wasn’t given enough time to organise,†he explained, brushing a gloved hand over a mangled steel support. “I believe he spent most of his allotted time clearing out his quarters.†The Engineer nodded in acknowledgment, noting and dismissing the general disarray. Medic sighed a mental breath of relief-- evidently the Engineer respected his input enough not to shoot him. Not that he minded the unexpected execution of the Scout, however temporary; it was, in hindsight, extremely effective. “I must see you later to conduct a mandatory preliminary examination. I will show you where the respawn machine is, also, so that you may integrate yourself into the system.†The Engineer nodded again. The two men stood in comfortable silence while Engineer examined the tools available to him in the workshop. “Who else on on this team is capable of intelligent conversation?†Engineer asked from next to a cannibalized bandsaw. “I am assuming those are the people who will not be shot if they attempt to converse with you,†Medic joked weakly. The engineer did not respond. “Well, there is the Heavy, and the Spy,†Medic answered. “Heavy is stunningly adept at literature, while Spy is a connoisseur of language and culture. I myself am more interested in the application of medicine.†“I see. Thank you.†The Engineer began unpacking his belongings, pushing the tools on the table to the side for the moment; Medic interpreted it correctly as a dismissal. At the door, he remembered another intellectual on the team, albeit one who was rarely seen in the company of anything but his rifle(and his disgusting jars). “There is also Sniper,†he called from the entrance. “From my brief encounters with him, I have been introduced to a surprising intelligence under that filthy bushman guise. But I am not really acquainted with him; you see, his is extremely solitary, almost to the point of being antisocial. The team sees him about three times a month; he practically lives in his tower and his van. In fact, I am sure he has killed our Scout because of his inane chatter on a number of occasions.†At this, the Engineer huffed in amusement. “I’ll keep that in mind.†Medic nodded and shut the door behind him. This new man was not so bad, he thought. He was not the man they had all expected, true, but in this he was infinitely more interesting. The doctor even allowed himself to wonder if this new, Scout-shooting Engineer would, unlike the previous Engineer, be open to some decidedly immoral experiments; the man certainly didn’t mind randomly slaughtering people. Medic chucked to himself. Not an apricot, no.
Sssoo... Is he an Engineer OC? Him acting way out of character like that is, at least to me, a pretty immediate turn-off. I am holding out hope that as the fic progresses I'll enjoy the way you write Engie more, but there's a fine line between writing your version of a canon character and writing an OC.
Eh, I see no well developed characters as OC's, they (for the most part) don't have personalities set in stone. As long as he looks and talks like an Engie I see no quarrel. Plus if they all had the same exact personality as another character of their class, all fanfictions, adult or not, would be incredibly boring. Sorry if you dont agree drill, not trying to be mean or anything. Just placing an opinion.
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I don't blame Engineer for shooting Scout in the face. I'd do the same probably. At the same time, the appeal of Trucks 'n' Vans for me personally was the subdued and kinda warmth about the two characters. Judging from the set up of Engineer being a cold callous badass, and Sniper being a lone wolf, I'll probably find myself disappointed in this fic. But if every Engineer/Sniper fic was sweet, then things would be less interesting. I'm sure others will enjoy this breath of fresh air.
>>2 I can see how he ended up looking like an OC, but that wasn't my intention. Hopefully this post smooths his character out a little; if it doesn't, I'd be grateful if you could point out whatever I'm missing. >>5 Things will be less interesting It's hard putting emotions for situations like these into words while sounding sufficiently detached at the level I believe Engineer would be. Updates will usually be around this length, by the way. ------------------------------------------------------------ Engineer waited until Medic had shut the door before sitting heavily on a workbench and kneading his temples. He was an apricot, sort of; just not at the moment. He’d just come back from his two-week leave, a little bit of which he had spent in Bee Cave. Bee Cave-- that was the problem. The Texan had been in the closet for his whole life, and the one person who’d known had been his best friend in high school. Best meaning only, and friend meaning communal keeper of secrets. Apparently the idiot had gotten loose-lipped just a week before Engineer had left for Bee Cave, and the whole town became informed of the fact that he was homosexual. Talk about bad luck; Engineer’s brief stay in his hometown had been spent listening to those uneducated hicks spit slurs at him while he carried his bags to and from his hotel. It hadn’t even been a stay; the girl at the hotel counter, his middle school seat partner and his date to his first high school dance, had pushed his money back over the counter with the back of her pencil like she couldn’t bear to touch it and told him that they “couldn’t let no faggots stay in this God-fearin’ town, not even if they paid.†It hurt. It hurt beyond belief. It surprised him, at first, because he had thought nobody knew, but afterwards, running to catch the bus when the hotel had rejected his reservation, he realized it tore a dripping hole in his chest to see people he’d grown up with calling him a faggot. Bee Cave was a small community; everyone dropped their work at the sign of entertainment and came out to vociferate their piece of mind. It didn’t help that even the people who were visiting the little town from elsewhere joined in on the jeering, and it really didn’t help that the kids started throwing trash at him too. He had nightmares for the rest of his vacation, two long, miserable weeks which he spent at a motel in Austin. A mercenary with eleven PhDs, having nightmares about a mob of bigoted ranchers! It sounded ridiculous when he said it out loud, but the hurt sank right into what used to be his iron core. It had a figurative crater in it now; a figurative crater the whole goddarn size of Bee Cave. Getting on the train back to the war felt great; on the platform, he had been fine, excited, even, to meet the new team, until the resident Demo and Soldier started whispering in the back. His heart rate started rising when he heard Soldier’s gruff, American accent; it was probably because he didn’t particularly like Soldiers and their abrasive habits, rather than because of the whole vacation drama, but either way he’d kept it under control well enough. Then Scout had to start yammering. The man’s voice made his whole body tense-- the runner was an adult, sure, and his accent was totally different, but the pitch of his voice was reminded him of the teenager at the bus stop who had thrown fist-sized rocks that had made fist-sized bruises ‘round his shoulders and on his forearms that still hurt like bitches even after two weeks. It just grated on his nerves. He was so focused on shutting Scout up he forgot to be gentle about it. Of course, with Scouts, talking at them only made them talk back, so Engineer got rid of him the most surefire way he could think of. “He’s connected to respawn,†had been the only thing he could think to say before he decided he really didn’t feel like explaining. He had relaxed as Medic guided him off; there was no way he’d mistake that hacking German accent for any American one, and the man’s intelligent bearing made him seem less susceptible to any preference-related paranoia. It was unreasonable, he knew, to think that his new team would find out even with his time-tested competence at being discreet(and that a man’s intelligence signified his defense against popular opinion), but he indulged his emotional insecurities to keep his blood pressure down. His question about intelligent conversation in the workshop wasn’t just some kind of precaution, though; he genuinely preferred a stimulating discussion to some repetitive prattle about topics he couldn’t care less about. He made a note to speak with the Heavy and the Spy, but he wasn’t too sure about the resident Sniper-- the last time he’d heard, being gay was against the law in Australia, and he didn’t want know how the Aussie would react if the topic ever came up. The Engineer just needed a little time. The adrenaline pumping through him during battles would suppress his nervous reactions, but for the rest of the day, he was probably going to be a wreck. He was definitely getting better, though; the trauma from that one encounter should be wearing off by now. He would apologize to the runner tomorrow, he told himself, if the man could shut up for the length of time it took to beg pardon; otherwise, Scout might just have to go through respawn again. Cracking his neck a few times, the Engineer pushed himself up from the bench and set out tidying the place. He’d need to put aside space for Irene, when he got her reassembled, and the welder needed to be replaced. Matter of fact, a lot of the equipment looked like it had seen better days. He’d make a list for the next supply train. The Texan set into the steady, comforting routine of reorganising equipment, and for a few hours he didn’t think about anything but machine parts.
Hmm, I was a bit skeptical of this at first but I have grown a slight liking to this Engineer. I hope to see more soon, uberepicfail.
I must say that the first chapter-engie was indeed a surprise. It wasn't enough to make me click away, but it wasn't something I liked. You evened it out greatly with this second chapter, and the engie is much more likable and similar to image I have of Engie. Thanks
This is certainly... Different. I like the way this started, the way you introduced the Engineer and his reaction to the team, even if him shooting the Scout caught me off guard. Course, new person, new place, know nothing about him, who knows what he'll do, right? The second part though... It's well written, to be sure, but coming right after the first, it tells far too much too quickly, at least in my eyes. It's a large chunk of information that seems more like notes an author makes on a situation they want to build up on or reveal in successive portions, which honestly would have been a better way to go around this. At the moment, it's a huge information dump that gives away a large portion of the Engineer's characters and kills any curiosity or tension that the story had before. Previously, we were wondering and curious, trying to figure out this guy, and then you just gave it to us, instead of having us piece it together over time. I think if you'd built up more, showed us more of the Engineer interacting with the team and getting himself settled in, how he reacts to the the team, slipped in little pieces of that information dump and had it start accumulating over time, it would have made for a much richer experience. As it is, it's still a decent story, and I'm curious as to how this Engineer will fit himself into the team and how he'll deal with that 'dent the size of whole Bee Cave'.