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No. 4943
((Hey there. This is my first time ever writing a fic and trust me, its embarassing. There will be more to come though.))

"234, 235, 236..." Soldier counted to himself, nearly done with his morning workout as the sweat beaded down his face. The morning sun coming over the dusty mesas of Badwater streamed over his bare torso and silhouetted his manly form over the barren ladscape. It was a lonely ritual he'd kept up since before he could remember, and it helped to keep his body in that perfect chiseled condition. Recently though, he felt he was the only one getting up with the sun. Nearby, hiding behind ammunition crates in BLU's spawn encampment, was the Scout, curling himself into a ball as he tried his best to stay out of sight. For the past few weeks since they had arrived here at the Basin he had been getting up at the crack of dawn to watch his idol at work. "Borrowing" Sniper's rifle scope, he held it there in his right hand, his left inside his pants, softly feeling himself as he spied on Soldier, imagining in his mind those strong hands clenching his young frail body...
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>> No. 4944
Can't see anything embarrassing about that, it's cool!
Keep it up, you :3
>> No. 4948
Oh that's hot. My only complaint is that there isn't more of it!
>> No. 4955
i agree, and perhaps some soldier feets to? maybe, maybe?
>> No. 4959
Somebody needs to draw this scene
>> No. 4960
>> No. 4973
>> No. 4976
The public cries for "MOAR!"
You must appease them.
>> No. 5012
((Part 2))

Soldier quickly finished his pushups, standing up and giving one final long stretch as he looked around the horizon. Another day, another bunch of skulls to crack. He grabbed his shovel from the nearby rock before starting the slow walk down the bluffs to base. How long had he been doing this? 20? 25 years? Probably longer. It didn't bother him. What bothered him was his current line of work. Even with all his training he never found out WHY he never got into the Army. The Navy was less of not getting in and more of not wanting to be stuck on a dinky tub, but why the Army.

Oh who was he kidding. He knew why. Most people he grew up around knew why. There was something about the way he walked and talked. In his conversation. He was different. Not special needs different. Not kid in the lunchroom who sits alone different. That kind of different that wasn't exactly acceptable but not exactly a crime. But god be damned if he wasn't entirely sure what this was. Everyone said he was compensating for something for something, but what?

Scout knew, and being a conniving little bastard he was going to take advantage of it. Scout watched silently as Soldier trod into base, silhouetted by the misted morning sun. He waited until those heavy footsteps were well down the hallway before he got up. It was time for his Morning Ritual as well, this time though, he wouldn't need sniper's scope.

Scout liked to run. He NEEDED to run considering all the crap he got into. Scout was a peeping tom like many young pubescent boys were in his day. He remembered his 5th brother Darryl showing him how. It was simply really. Find a nice high point with some binoculars, or find a way to crawl through some air duct without getting caught. Sure he was caught once or twice, but what did it matter know? He was just casually observing then. But now its different. Now, he'd have more than a “permanent record” to worry about if he got caught.

Soldier walked into the showers of the cramped base. It was less than ideal. A cramped tiled box fit for six people with no concerns for privacy. He grunted as he stood near the lockers, thinking about filing a complaint with someone at BLU, whoever the head of this..wait, was that? Soldier's head darted to his right to the hallway. Something moved by in that hall. Or at least he think something did. What did it matter. He had other things to worry about.

Scout pressed himself to the wall near the doorway, sure for a second he was caught, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he looked back inside the locker room, watching as soldier threw his trousers into his locker. Perfect timing. With the lightest step he turned the corner and went back to his room, ready to enjoy the show. Scout kept his room dark. He liked it better, and it helped when he was spying on others or needed a place to hide. To his right was a small desk, covered by scattergun shells and a copy of Hat Wearing Man. Silently, he slid the desk over to reveal a pair of peep holes in the wall, courtesy of Engie's “borrowed” drill. He listened intently as Soldier stepped into the showers, and with the start of the rushing water, the show was on.

Scout kneeled down, his eyes level with the peepholes as he looked into the bright washroom. It took a second for his eyes to adjust and see what was going on, but it didn't take long to see Soldier. Scout unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, quietly pulling out his limp but ready member as he waited on soldier to come into view. Scout slowly pumped his flaccid junk, watching intently as his idol relaxed himself in that spray.

Scout pressed his eye to the small peephole, his palm pumping quickly on his cock as he watched soldier bathe, hot streams of water trickling down his muscular hairy chest. His well tone muscular form occasionally stretching out, sending Scout into panting fits as he watched, hunched on his knees as he masturbated. Soldier bent over for a moment to soap his legs, and Scout's eyes widen at seeing his bare toned ass, water trickling down through the crack and cheeks.

Pre began to squirt from Scout's feeble member as he watched, his arm growing tired from the restless fapping. but it would have to keep going as Soldier turned around, his limp 7 inches of All American meat hanging, dripping wet and nestled in his jungle of pubic hair. Scout had to stop himself from whining as he kept up his fapping, watching in sheer ecstasy as Soldier reached down to clean his nether-regions, his moon orbs for testes soaked and dangling in the spray as he pulled back his foreskin. It was to Scout, the most glorious thing he had seen.

Suddenly he could feel it, and he pressed his back to the wall, closing his eyes and just imagining his mouth taking that gratuitous meat. Within seconds he came, hot jets of steamy pre shooting from his manhood and across his bed. He tried to hold back a yelp as his body slouched down the wall. his breath heavy and labored as if his orgasm was like a 10 mile run. He laid there silent for a minute, cum drizzling down his thigh and sack. It didn't take long for him to come to, the afterglow wearing off as he looked back to the peephole in time to catch Soldier wrapping himself in towel.

Soldier walked quietly back to the lockers. Anyone else in those showers wouldn't have been the wiser. But Soldier wasn't an idiot. A flash in the hall, the sound of furniture moving... it all added up. Soldier was pretty sure he knew who else was up this morning, and what they've just seen. He looked at Scout's locker for a moment or two, contemplating his move in this situation until he grabbed his helmet, placing it firmly on his head as he grunted under his breath. “Maggots.”
>> No. 5018
Man and I'd just gotten a sudden craving for this pairing a couple of days ago. This is awesome OP you glorious bastard.
>> No. 5019
((Agh. Looking back I REALLY hate the actual porn part of Part 2, but I dunno. I don't feel I should change it, since I have a lot in mind for the porn scene in Part 4. Part 3 btw will not be pornographic, but an actual action story as to how Soldier and Scout get close.))
>> No. 5020
You did great on part 2!

What I would give to be Scout right now
>> No. 5021
Yeah aside from a couple of typos here and here it was great all-around.

I can't wait for more!
>> No. 5026
Creeper Scout, that's new.
>> No. 5027
his moon orbs for testes
>> No. 5029
I never would have pegged Scout as a voyuer, but you do it well! Keep going, I want to see what Soldier's gonna do.
>> No. 5030

Yeah, Chocobacon, um... if you can handle a little gentle criticism*, some of your word choices are more florid than they need to be, in a way that sounds like you don't know exactly what they mean. Soldier's "gratuitous" meat. What about Soldier's unit is "without cause or justification"? 7" seems justified to me. Similarly, bawlz do not look like moon orbs. -checks pants- They look kinda like alien organisms, or maybe bubblegum that fell on a dust kitty. About the best you could say for them is that they looked pendulous, heavy, potent. Still not much like the moon, though. Your writing is solid, just resist the temptation to get too flowery. I'm always available to beta-read, if you'd like a second set of eyes.

*Actually, since you posted on a *chan, you can probably handle a LOT of harsh criticism, but my mama raised me to be polite.
>> No. 5031
Thanks for the crit Terato. I guess my word choices are a bit...weird. (Moon orbs was something I heard to describe big balls in another RP elsewhere and I liked it.) And I thought gratuitous meant like "plenty extra." What honestly happened in the sex part is that I wrote that first, and that pumped my mojo enough to write all the crap beforehand. I really do need to go back an edit my stuff, and who knows, maybe I'll take you up on the beta read offer.
>> No. 5032
Oh and please don't be shy with the critique. I've grown used to people telling me YOU SUCK FUCK OFF AND DIE, so I can handles some tough love.
>> No. 5035
Aside from the aforementioned critisism, I really love your writing.
>> No. 5058
seconding the gay adjective thing.

but SHIT. I love the rest, and the pairing- oh man is it good! ;_; I do wish we had more of Scout with the other manly men, constantly, and I'm grateful for this delicious little gem right here.
>> No. 5084
What's this? I'm incredibly interested, and I don't even like Soldier... I wonder if I've discovered a new pairing...?

I agree with Terato about the flowery language and the beta, but otherwise, VERY interesting so far. Please, continue.
>> No. 7075
Hope there is an update for this soon; it really sucks when something dies unfinished. Especially when its getting really good.

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