UNF so much Spy/Sniper attention lately. This makes me happy in the pants. BITCH YOU'D BETTER WRITE MORE. Lemme keep beta-ing too :D That way I get to read more before anyone else LOLS. -shot- But no seriously, I love this so far and I like where it's going hohoho.

FFFFF medic is so badass. It's nice to see him more sinister from time to time.
-looms behind you as you continue to type- :D

With a sudden movement the Sniper rolled over. Spy’s eyes quickly shot open as his hand instantly reached for his cloak and dagger. Not that it invisibility would make much difference, now that Sniper’s arm was wrapped snugly around his torso…

I want to frame this line. It's like GOOOOOOLD.

....go on
C:

ffff I don't even care how cliche this plot is, I just want to read mooooaaaaaaarrrrr of this fic

>BITCH YOU'D BETTER WRITE MORE.DAMN STRAIGHT. Or gay, since you're writing about two guys.

ffff I don't even care how cliche this plot is, I just want to read mooooaaaaaaarrrrr of this fic
I ran across this and turned to my roommates to say:
"Spy and Sniper hate each other. Medic has commandeered the beds, so now they have to share one! . . . I KNOW! I can't wait!"

So, yes! More!

Write more, dammit!

Please?
........Please?

The way you write is very appealing and the plot is cool. Great job! I can't wait to read more C:

Azer: OH HEY IT’S THE NEXT INSTALLMENT. Btw did we forget to mention this was a joint effort? :D Originally it was all Rachos but because I was throwing so many sentences at her we were then like ‘oh I got an idea! You can write all of Spy’s POV parts and I’ll write all of Sniper’s POV parts’
Yeah… I like collaborating with others.

RaChos: I R HELPFUL?

Azer: FFFF. -slaps the bitch-

---

“YO SNIPES!! Rise ‘n shine, you’re late!”

The Scout’s insistent banging on the trailer door made enough of a racket to bring the owner out of his deep sleep. Sniper roused from his heavy sleep, groaning and burying his head into his pillow.

“Mrrfnfnk.”

His curses were muffled into the pillow as he slowly turned his head in a lazy 45 degree rotation to be greeted by a super zoom shot of the Spy’s sleeping face.

“GACK!!” An instinctive reaction to such a scenario resulted in the Sniper quickly shoving the still unconscious Spy off his bed and landing roughly to the uncomfortable floor beneath them. Quite wonderful timing actually as the Scout entered the room it looked like the Frenchman had been sleeping on the floor all along. Or it would’ve appeared that way if there wasn’t a loud crash and ‘AURGGHH!’ from the landing.

On cue, the Scout make his way in, kicking aside some of the junk on the floor as he jogged on the spot. He was probably one of the only members on the team that wasn’t afraid to enter his van. “Time ta get up ya creepy ol’—“

He stopped jogging, transfixed on the Spy. Obviously, he didn’t know about the little change in sleeping arrangements. Spy and Sniper didn’t dare to tell a soul. But that wasn’t really the only reason why he was staring. The fact that Spy had landed face first on the grimy floor had resulted in a lovely nosebleed that was smeared all over his face. It remained this way for what seemed like an eternity; Sniper keeping his eyes fixed on Scout, his chest rising and falling fast; Spy staring from Scout to Sniper, a scowl fixed across his face as he touched at his injured nose; And Scout, staring slack jawed at the entire scene.

Scout put two and two together and got five as a cocky grin spread across his face.

“So, you guys livin’ it up last night or somethin’?”

His cocky smirk vanished as his face was greeted by Sniper’s dirty underwear that must have been producing penicillin for quite some time now.

+++

The day seemed to go by so fast for Sniper. A day full of fleshy exposed heads passed the time far more than sitting in his hideout waiting hours for someone on the other team to waltz by. He didn’t really have a chance to confront the Spy about why the hell he was sleeping next to him last night. It was probably for the better. He was still fuming about the incident yesterday, so his civilised question of ‘why didn’t you stay on the floor?’ would have been equivalent to him jumping on top of Spy and ripping his ear off with his teeth.

Yet the strange thing was that he never saw Spy from when he excused himself to wash up his bloodied nose. Never came back from the bathroom. Never even came to breakfast. He knew that the blighter was running around the day though, since enemy BLUs were falling dead as they were backstabbed, as per usual. Yet still… no Spy. Already Sniper had a long list of choice words to say to him. Half of them involving insults to his heritage, and the other half involving quips to the man’s sexuality. The sun was going down, and the man’s frustration was going up. He was going to make it perfectly clear that if he was going to wake up to Spy’s ugly face in front of him again… BAM!!

Gritting his teeth, the siren sounded to announce the end of the day’s fighting. Already Sniper had slung his rifle across his back and was making his way downstairs to the main floor. It was slippery with enemy and team blood, coating the tiles with a glistening red gooey glow. Clearly the Soldier had a good day as he seemed to have admired his handy work at his latest massacre. It didn’t go without saying that their team didn’t have their fair share of loses. The engineer and pyro appeared to have kicked the bucket but no doubt they’d be respawned by sunrise tomorrow so it was never really worth grieving over.

With no sign of the spook around, the Sniper could only assume that someone must’ve done away with the bastard some time during the day. Maybe the BLU sniper got him with the kukri, or he spontaneously burst into flames. The means of how the Spy was killed didn’t particularly matter to him; his only regret every time the Spy was murdered was that he wasn’t around to watch it himself. Though he wouldn’t be able to bring up another confrontation about the occurrence that happened earlier that day, he at least would have his van all to himself for the night. This was great, if he was lucky maybe the Spy would be killed every night until the new mattress came in.

A wide grin never left his face as Sniper cheerily walked to his ‘home’. Spy got what was coming to him, after being a fag and hoping into bed with him while he was sleeping. Honestly, what kind of man does that? Dwelling on the subject though just reminded him of the mental images of Spy’s gentle face ever so close to his. Sniper could still smell the scent of the cigarettes. Letting out a small sigh the Australian unlocked the door and opened it, an action he immediately regretted.

Sniper was instantly blinded by the sparkling clean space that was his van as if someone had just abused the lens flare. Everything was so amazingly organized and most of the stains on the walls and the floor had just about vanished. His clothes were stacked neatly in a pile and the ones that were still dirty were in a basket to be cleaned for another time. Yet this wasn’t the thing that was horrifying. What was horrifying was the fact that the Spy was in there, not only was he alive but he was wearing absolutely NOTHING… save for the classic balaclava and an apron. He was also bending over with his ass metaphorically shining in his face. Something he could’ve gone the rest of his life without seeing. Why in the name of holy Christ was the Spy naked?! And in some sort of maid like get-up?

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?” Sniper screamed at the top of his voice, more horrified than furious, hands up to his face in an attempt to shield himself from the scarring sight. His face was beaming red but it was more because the blood was starting to boil.

“Oh you’re back already?” Spy said saying like he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. He turned around to face him, though it was at this time Sniper realized that he was actually wearing underwear. A horribly skin coloured underwear like old grandmothers would wear. Annnnd que the mental imagery of Spy wearing Granny panties.

Admittedly the front view was far better than the back, at least the apron was covering all of the crotch zone. Still, the gunman was stunned at the fleshy image that stood before him. Spy then continued to answer his question.

“I’m cleaning zis… place.” Spy was struggling to find a polite word, the original options were ‘shit hole’, ‘dirt pile’, ‘pigsty’, ‘dump’ and his favourite ‘this unholy dump of sin that not even the rats or flies would find fit of inhabiting when the holocaust came.’

“I can see that…” Sniper said gritting his teeth, trying his hardest to not charge in and start beating the man. Last thing he needed was to wrestle with a man who had more skin showing than a porn star. “Why are you wearing that?” he asked, ‘wearing’ being a severe understatement.

The Spy chucked him an obnoxious look as if to say ‘are you kidding me?’
“You ‘onestly expect me to clean zis place in my $1000 custom made Italian zuit?”

“I don’t expect you to clean up at all!?” God… Why couldn’t someone have killed him? Along with this spring cleaning, Spy probably took the chance to rummage through all his prized possessions and move them to places he wouldn’t know where to look. That bastard.

“Well if I am to stay in zis place for the next few nights, zen I expect ze highest quality of hygiene… but you wouldn’t know anyzing about zat now…” A small, devilish smirk worked its way on the Spy’s lips. “…would you?”

… Alright. That fucking did it. Launching himself from the miniature staircase outside the door, Sniper dove onto the semi naked Spy. Within a few seconds some of the neatly stacked clothes tumbled down on top of them but they were easily ignored as the Sniper managed to lay a few punches on the man. Spy retaliated with a firm punch to the face, giving the attacker a nosebleed this time. They scuffled around for a few minutes, shouting profanities at each other in English, French, and Aussie slang, and leaving their rough marks and cuts until they heard a repeat of knocks on the door. Both of them came to a sudden halt in their brawl, staring at the door as the knocking continued. Sniper took the opportunity to deliver one final punch, knocking the man out. With that he got up on his feet to go to the door.

Doing a lazy job as he tried to fix his hair, Sniper opened the door to see Medic standing in front of him.

“…Please tell me the new mattress is in.”

The medic gave a slight laugh followed by an abrupt ‘no.’

“I am here to talk to ze both of you though.” He quickly added on, taking a step forward as if he was expecting to be let in but Sniper stood in place, blocking him from entering.

“He’s not here.”

“Sniper, I’m not stupid. I heard you two screaming. I’d have zought you two were up to somezing if it weren’t for your bleeding nose. Now come, let me in.” Outstretching a hand the doctor shoved Sniper out of the doorway and came inside to see Spy bleeding, unconscious on the floor in nothing but an apron and his ass stuck up in the air.

Silence…

“Ah…” Was all the Medic could say before the room was nothing but silence yet again.

+++

After Spy had regained consciousness, Medic was still around to help both their clean cuts. No doubt they’d both have a fair share of bruises by the next day. Thankfully he had promised to not mention this to any of the others, a small favour in return for Spy lending him a bed for the ward.

“Now about your bed.” He finally said after putting a bloodied cotton wool ball onto the coffee table beside him. “…It’ll be arriving at the end of zeh month.”

Sniper stood up immediately and shouted “WHAT!?”

This was a nightmare; Spy was going to be staying with him for a month now? The two of them were probably going to end up killing each other every night.

“Excusez-moi, doctor.” Spy said interrupting Sniper’s nightmarish thoughts. “Can I request to stay wiz someone else until ze mattress arrives?”

It was weird… them having to ask the Medic for permission to sleep somewhere else. However a lot of the RED’s seemed to look up to the Medic and appease him, since he was the one that healed them most of the time. The nights when Medic was dead often resulted in a chaotic night and Soldier trying to be in charge of everyone. It was like Medic was the team’s mother figure, though his sadistic love of torturing and dislike of ‘babying’ the rest of the team seemed otherwise. And the Soldier was like the divorced drunken father that came home once every week to give beer to the kids and talk about vagina. And possibly throw empty beer bottles at his ‘TV’ which was actually a dispenser.

“Zat is out of ze question.” Medic’s words washed over the pair like a cold wave. Now the Spy stood up along with the Sniper. Before any of them could begin to argue with the Medic, he calmly adjusted his glasses and continued. “You two hate each other more zan you hate your counterpartss. It would be more beneficial for ze two of you to live togetzer for a while so you can be friendlier.”

The two of them still opened their mouths to protest but as the Medic chucked them a fierce glare that resulting in two very quiet sounds of a pair of jaws shutting. A cold smile was implanted on the practitioner’s face as he got up and walked past a silent Sniper.

“Please do your best to not kill each ozer. I am busy enough as it iz. Gutten nacht, gentlemen.” And with that, Medic left the room to the two bitter rivals.

+++

Spy winced as he touched at his lip. Right now he could feel his temper starting to bubble away dangerously. ‘Out of zeh question’? Couldn’t the Medic see how Sniper reacted to him simply cleaning up? One month alone with the Australian and the two would probably keep on killing each other night after night. Well, if they weren’t killed on the battlefield first. And Spy detested dying. Pain aside, his suits easily tore from it all.

Taking another drag of his cigarette (almost out of his first pack already), he ran his tongue across his lip. He had taken the courtesy of opening up a window and smoking in the opposite end of the camper van. After all, if he managed to piss Sniper off one more time he might be in a concussion for a week. The man knew how to throw a punch. Medic managed to patch the pair up rather well. Was he prepared to do this every time the two had a small squabble though?

Leaning out of the window, he glanced to the other side of the van. From here he could see the battle complex. A single light was lit now on the bottom floor of the building. Probably the Engineer fine tuning some ideas before he went to bed. Bed… Funny, all of this fuss kicked up over a burnt bed. If only Sniper wasn’t as much of a bastard about it all. Spy wasn’t happy about the situation either, but what else could he do? It was either the two of them here with some space between them as they rested, or they would have had to share Spy’s own room in the RED complex. And that was something that probably would have resulted in more awkward situations.

Sniper. Why did that asshole hate him so much? Spy grimaced as he absentmindedly touched at a bruise forming on his arm from a stray punch. Spy was originally quite indifferent to Sniper before he started to notice the man going out of his way to rub the Frenchman the wrong way. Maybe it was time that Spy took this last event into perspective. He wasn’t one for revenge but… well, the man had to be punished for trying to brake his nose.

He had. To be. Punished.

+++

Sniper sat silently at what was now pretty much his end of the van. For a while he kept looking at the wall and ceiling before taking slight glances back at Spy who was currently staring out into space. Bloody spook. Bloody Medic. All the events were playing in his mind. He quietly growled as he began to prepare himself for sleep, stalking into his room and starting to strip down to his undergarments.

As his back was turned he could sense someone approaching, it came like a sixth sense from one too many experiences of being backstabbed. Everything moved so quickly as he was shoved to sit down on his bed. What the bloody hell was that Spy up to now?

“Wha-” a finger to the lips quickly silenced the man. The smirk on the Spy’s face was rather unsettling. Like a cat toying with a small ball of yarn.

“You’re rather tense tonight, mon Snipe.” He said in a seductive tone as his hand curled around his broad shoulders. “No need to be zo cold. After all… Medic did say we needed to get… friendly.” Much emphasis was put on the word as the finger trailed down from his lips to his jaw line.

Not this friendly! NOTTHISFRIENDLY!!

“You’re so uncomfortable…” With a slow move of the head Spy leaned into Sniper’s ear. “I know you liked me in that apron before… I could… put it on again.” And to seal the deal a wet tongue grazed over the ear lobe.

It was a simple knee-jerk reaction. In a blinding flash of white fury, Sniper clenched his fist and did a powerful uppercut that could rival a falcon punch. As the Spy gave a harsh cry from being hit so suddenly his body fell to the floor unmoving… not breathing.

Sniper was breathing rather heavily as he tried to figure out what the fuck had just happened followed by the thoughts of ‘holy shit I killed him in one punch’. Standing up from the bed he moved closer to his roommate and checked to see if he was still breathing. As a hand went to feel a pulse on a neck, the fingertips went right through it like a hologram.

… Dead ringer.

By the time Sniper had turned around it was just enough time to see Spy’s wide smirk as he jabbed his favourite butterfly knife squarely in his back. How could he have not seen that coming? Spy was letting go of a lot of pent up rage as he pulled out the dagger and stabbed him again and again like a psycho killer. His lungs started to fill with blood and Sniper’s eyes began to roll up as he slowly lost his life. The last thing he saw before his world faded into the darkness was Spy, smirking down menacingly to the Australian’s body…

The Spy triumphantly got the bed to himself that night.

+++

TO BE CONTINUED? LOLOLOLOLOL.

…don’t worry, we’ll get to the sexy times eventually. *SHOT*

Why do I feel they're going to kill for the bed from now on...
Funny, keep writing.

GRANNY PANTIES!
Good job sir, I always liked the funny fanfics, and I lol'ed at every other line.

Please keep it up!

Oh man, I'm laughing so hard. Particularly about Soldier as the divorced drunken father. I found it extremely promising when the Sniper had that one gentle thought about the Spy, though.

Man, I am definitely looking forward to this being updated!

It was a simple knee-jerk reaction. In a blinding flash of white fury, Sniper clenched his fist and did a powerful uppercut that could rival a falcon punch.
SON.
I AM AMUSE.

PROCEED.

Please, for the love of Zombie Jesus, proceed.......

This is really, really fun. For all I care, sexy times can take all the time they want to get here--
Others may not share my opinion.
Needs a smidgen more spell-checking though.

Oh, don't worry about the sexy times just yet, this is so amusing. Maid Spy in granny panties <3

So this is basically my favourite fic on here right now. A+

you had me at

“So? Ya gonna get off?”

“…vhat?”

“Me bed. You’re on it. Get off.”

this shit is hilarious. GO ON.

"And the Soldier was like the divorced drunken father that came home once every week to give beer to the kids and talk about vagina. And possibly throw empty beer bottles at his ‘TV’ which was actually a dispenser."

Priceless.

Scout put two and two together and got fiveOut of all the lines, this one got me the most. Because I use a similar expression all the time. IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY, DAMNIT. D:<

This is WAR, my friends, and it is so good.

oh man this is great x3 sexy time will come when the story gets there, so no rush

For all I care, sexy times can take all the time they want to get here--
Damn right!

Don't worry about bringing sexy times fast, your collaboration is EPIC. I love it so much already.

I am enjoying this. Proceed.

Ohman, this was hilarious. Hope to see more soon. After all, there's a whole month to cover... ;)

I love the humor in this. Please keep going- I know the sexy times are going to be amazing.

"Not this friendly! NOTTHISFRIENDLY!!"

That and the whole scene with Spy in the apron had me rolling on the floor! Continue!

Pffft...I can't stop laughing and I think I won't stop grinning the next hours too.

Soldier as divorced drunken father killed me, please go on...I even don't care about the porn

omg I had to stop and breath for a bit there, please keep going *desperately clings to screen* I love it and I'm a huge yoai fan and still I don't mind waiting for sexy times ^.^

MOARRRR

I lolled :'D

Dammit please sage when you comment. It kills me when I check for an update but don't find one

>>33
Don't sage. It reminds authors that their fics are getting looked at and that they need to continue. It's also a it of a contradiction to say that you love a fic and then sage it so it doesn't get seen.

Anyway, I do like this fic. I can't help but wonder how their relationship will develop, since they currently can't stand each other at all.

>>34
Sorry. I'm not sure if I did the quote right because I'm a newfag. I see now how the saging works, and I apologize.

>>31

...

No.

>>31

Go back to deviantart.

>>31

what the fuck....

>>31

I cringe every time I see this username. And that face.

Lol urgh. Please, lets not focus on things like this? :/

In other news. FFF HURRY UP AND WRITE YOUR CHAPTER RACHOS.

Oh please do continue, it's fucking hilarious!

Oh no, Sniper's revenge is going to be fantastic. the war of the beds must proceeeed!!

gah it's still not updated. I need the next part to this!

Oh snap, how did I miss this? THIS IS GOLD.

Rachos: GODDAMNIT KIDS KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE. WE'RE TRYING TO WRITE. D8<
Azer: BUT WE HAS AN UPDATE TO SETTLE YOU DOWN.

+++

Sniper wasn’t too fond of what had happened that night. Goddamn that Spy. Back stabbing an own team mate? Just to sleep in a bed for a night? Ha! He wouldn’t have that lying down. After he respawned the next morning, the Aussie had gone about his own small plan for revenge. It still churned and stewed in his head, even as he sniped from the battlements. Every face from the enemy BLU’s he killed seemed to be replaced with the smug, arrogant face of his roommate. It helped him to get through the day. Leaving the daily battle for the intelligence early, he hid behind the van door with is kukri. Spy didn’t have his guard up, thinking the man had been killed in battle or was off drinking and sulking.

That was a big mistake.

As the Spy expected to enter an empty van with another vacant bed with his name on it a blade suddenly slashed downward into his shoulder. The violent attack stung incredibly but of course that wasn’t enough to kill him. Pulling the kukri from the flesh, Sniper skewered through his lung. As the man fell to the ground on his hands and knees, a final blow was delivered at the neck. The head rolled around the floor but Sniper kicked it out like it was a soccer ball. Revenge was good.

Slowly throughout the week these little forms of revenge escalated. Spy shooting Sniper on his way back to the van… Sniper impaling Spy on the side of the van with his Huntsmen, like some sort of prized dead animal… it was madness. Chaos every night.

It hadn’t even been a week yet but it was only a matter of time before someone got fed up with their attitude.

+++

In the respawn room, Spy and Sniper found their world slowly fading in from the darkness. Time had not passed for them. It never does when you respawn. But it still leaves you shaken and slightly sick in the stomach, like riding on a rollercoaster while drunk. Sniper’s legs gave out from underneath him as he hit the floor, resting on his arms as he tried to regain his composure, pale face and sweaty as he gasped in the air. Spy leant up against the nearest wall while his shaky hand instantly felt about for his cigarette case, fishing a stick out, lighting it, and taking a much needed drag of it in record time. Both didn’t seem to notice the other presence in the room.

“Ahem.”

Their heads snapped forward and up. In front of them, one leg crossed over the other while his fingers were interlocked with each other just in front of his nose, was the Medic. He was sitting on one of the benches, the glass of his spectacles were glistening dangerously in the florescent light. His red gloves squeaked together sharply as his shifted his hands so that the assassins could see his face better. It was painted in indifference, his eyes cold and extremely unimpressed.

“Vell gentlemen, I think we have learnt a lesson today. Ja?”

Sniper grumbled to himself as he stood back up, wiping sweat off his brow. Spy let out a puff of smoke through his nostrils, making no other noise. “If I hear you two fighting again, I VILL not be as merciful again.” He leaned forward slightly. Even though he was a good distance away, the men found themselves taking a step backwards. Probably because that the bone saw that he had used on them last night was resting leisurely in his lap and now in clear view. Medic was clearly ready to cut them up again after he overheard them last night.

“Understand?”

Like two scorned children, the men gave very slight nods. Eyes still locked on the saw.

“Gutt. I vill expect no dying tonight. Or else I shall try und make zis temporary sleeping arrangement permanent until you both can learn to control yourselves.” Much emphasis on the word ‘control’ there. “Now go. Zer battle ist about to begin again. Oh…” He stood up and started to inspect the teeth on his saw as the Sniper started to stride out of room. “Try not to die today. I might think zat zer two of you will be using zer battle as a cover to play this childish game of yours.”

Sniper paused for a moment, giving a bit of a growl towards the Medic. He didn’t want the German to hear his distaste of being scolded like a child, it was his life and his van, he could do whatever the hell he wanted in it, however what he wanted simply wasn’t an option anymore. His face was still glowing a lovely shade of rage red as he turned to leave the room and head for the sniping deck. Spy gave the Medic a clearly unimpressed look before activating his cloak. Like Sniper, he didn’t enjoy the scolding either because he didn’t want to be living in that cheap van to begin with. What the hell did Medic expect from the two of them? Hearing the footsteps fade, Medic gave himself a chuckle and pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of this nose. “Gerade wie kinder...”

+++

“Just ‘cause ya had to get yer beauty rest doesn’t mean ya had to keep on punchin’ me.”

“Well I only ‘ad to because you couldn’t stop punching mon face.”

“If ya didn’t cry like a woman and took it like a man Medic wouldn’t have come in.”

“Oh, but you vere enjoying it too well. I could tell.”

The conversation between Sniper and Spy stopped as the team’s Engineer walked by with a half eaten sandwich. All three stopped and stared at the respecting parties; Engineer raising an eyebrow as the usually unfriendly Spy and Sniper sat next to each other with their lunches. It took a few seconds for Sniper to realise the innuendo in the conversation and scowled darkly.

“What the hell are you staring at? Geet!”

“Heh… sorry for intrudin’ partner.” With a tip of his hard hat, the man was gone.

It was a curious thought on what the other team mates must’ve thought about them. They still hadn’t bothered to mention the new sleeping arrangements but with all the ‘extra time’ they had been spending together perhaps the rest of their comrades were starting to think something was up.

With a growl Sniper turned back to his own sandwich. He had to sneak one of the Heavy’s many spare ones since he had no time to make his own or take one of the regulation lunches provided by the RED corporation. Hopefully the Russian wouldn’t notice it was gone. Last time Scout tried to sneak one he got a mini gun in all the wrong places.

“Feh. I suppose one of us has gotta use the couch now.” He muttered darkly as he took a bite.

“Oh, I am afraid zat is not possible. I gave it to ze Pyro before you came into ze van last night.”

The Sniper almost inhaled the bread that he was currently chewing on.

“WHAT?!”

In horror, he dropped his food and ran outside the complex. Oh god, please don’t let the kid be doing what he think he was going to do…

Too late.

The Pyro was there, on top of a small, smouldering heap that seemed to resemble a couch frame covered in various knickknacks that belonged to the Sniper, giving his harsh battle cry while he lifted his prized flamethrower in the air after his usual lunchtime burning session.

Growling, the Australian turned around and marched back inside, face livid and long. Spy was there, still shrouded in smoke like the devil himself. Heck, he probably was the devil in disguise judging by that cocky grin he was wearing.

“Yer gonna regret this mate…” As he spoke, Sniper drew out his kukri again. In response, Spy stood up and approached the enraged man, his body language all too calm.

“Uh uh uh mon Snipe…” He tutted, raising a single finger and slowly pushing the steel out of the way as he leaned his face close in. “Remember what ze good doctouer told us, mm? We shouldn’t be fighting.” A repulsive shudder crawled down Sniper’s spine. It was just like that night all over again. The one with Spy in the apron…

Oh god, don’t think about that now, DON’T THINK ABOUT THAT NOW.

Face ripening like a tomato, Sniper pushed the smoke tainted body away from him with a growl. He hated Spy invading his personal space bubble. “You’re not goin’ in my bed mate. No way.”

“I also gave ze Pyro your sleeping bag.”

Goddamnit! Not his prized sleeping bag! His dad gave him that. When they were still on good terms that is. Hearing the alarm sounding for the second half of battle, Sniper gave a glare before picking up his gun. This was completely unfair, the Medic was pretty much forcing them to stop fighting when the Spy still had one upped him. Still he tried to look at this in a positive way. Spy just destroyed his only forms of sleeping material.

“Let me make this perfectly clear. You are NOT sleeping in MY bed under any circumstance! An’ that is FINAL!”

+++

“Fuckin’ hell…”

Every time Sniper muttered a profanity Spy’s grin seemed to get a little bit wider. How did they get to this point? They were both in the lovely damn bed that had caused this stupid mess so far, shoulder to shoulder as the moon continued its journey high in the starry sky. The air was humid and musky with dust. So much so that Sniper had to strip himself of his singlet. Spy had originally dressed himself in an elaborate pyjama set that as time went by it slowly transformed into something less. He didn’t want to lie next to another man with very few clothes but well, what happened in the van, stayed in the van.

It was bad enough that the humidity was getting the better of them tonight; it was the fact that both men, hot and sweaty despite having cool showers, were just next to each other. A faint rumble in the distance seemed to cue some rain.

The silence was extremely awkward, both not knowing what to do or say. Sniper couldn’t get to sleep while Spy… well, fuck knows why Spy was still awake.

“Oi… budge over…”

“I’m as far over as I possibly can, mon ami.”

“…wot’s that mean?”

“Mm?”

“Mon-whatever the hell you said.” The Spy couldn’t help but chuckle.

“We ‘ave been working togezer for so long, mon Snipe, and you have yet to learn any of the languages we bring to you.” His look of amusement turned into a sneer. “You are completely uneducated.”

Fire prickled up in Sniper’s belly. He wasn’t going to take that lying down. Brow creased, he rolled onto his side suddenly. Spy’s face was so close now… he didn’t realise that the bed was so narrow.

“’bit rich coming from you.”

“Ах, как что богатый?” Sniper blinked as the Russian flowed naturally out of the Spy’s mouth. “Ich habe mich mindestens damit aufgehalten, einige Sprachen zu lernen.” Wow. His accent was almost flawless. A few traces of his French accent here and there from lack of use, but it was extremely convincing to his ears. Not that Sniper would ever admit that.

“Fah. So ya know a few fancy words.” As fiercely as he rolled over he rolled back again, arms folded and expression in a pout as he realised that, compared to Spy, his knowledge on language was severely lacking. “Big deal.” With a jolt he felt a few fingers trail up his back, almost as if coaxing him to loosen up. The hand ducked beneath him and wrapped around his torso, its partner gripping loosely onto his arm in an oddly comforting manner.

“Sólo sepa tanto con soltura, sin embargo.”

Was Spy ever going to stop showing off? Sniper stayed silent for a few seconds, finding the limbs hugging him spreading a pleasant warm tingle through his body from where they touched. “Sorry mate, I only speak English.”

“As well as ze… ‘Aussie slang’, oui?”

“Ah, piss off.”

He batted the hand on his arm away, and shifted a bit so that Spy’s hand could slide out from beneath him. No games tonight. He couldn’t be assed. With a frown, Spy retracted his hands, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. So much for keeping a conversation flowing. Sighing, he too rolled to face his side of the mattress, their backs sleek with perspiration and clinging to each other like wet rags. It couldn’t be helped, but it was still uncomfortable as hell.

“Will you be zis pleasant every night until I am out of your hair?”

“Probably. Now shut up. I can’t sleep.”

Then those hands seemed to find their way back up to his broad shoulders. Jesus Christ, that Spy was a pretty handsy guy. Was this what he considered normal in his country or something? Suddenly he felt a cool breath on his skin and a wet touch to his neck. Ok this definitely wasn’t normal!

“Wot the bloody ‘ell are you doin’!?” he hissed trying to keep it quiet as if he was afraid to wake everyone else up (despite their location being a fair distance away).

The lips left his neck but bodily contact certainly didn’t as he was being straddled by the Spy’s body. Both hands pinned down Sniper’s arms so he couldn’t struggle, though for some reason he didn’t bother to struggle. It was as if he was too tired and couldn’t muster up the effort to try and push the Frenchman off. As awkward as this was anyways, Sniper figured this was probably some sort of odd prank Spy was trying to pull on him. Something that would get him to leave the bed somehow, well it wasn't going to work.

“Can you just go back to sleep?” The man grumbled, hoping Spy would stop playing these little games and just roll off him.

“I can’t sleep, mon Snipe. I know you can’t either... But I do somezing zat can help us.”

He didn’t know if he liked the sound of that, still what his bunk buddy was telling him did have some truth. He couldn’t sleep and he needed it if he wanted to stay alive the next day. Sniper was about to speak but he was interrupted by a finger on his lips, followed by Spy’s lips kissing on top of that... The only thing separating their lips was an index finger.

“You just relax. I’ll do all ze work.”

Heart beat started to drum double time as he started to get kissed at the neck again. There was a slight pinch in his skin as the Spy began to give a bit of forceful sucking, shit if that left a mark then that would be some very odd explaining to do to the team mates that saw it. His free hand made a quick grab for his partner’s arm, at first it remained as a tight grasp but Sniper soon found himself loosening his grip as the licks and kisses didn’t stop. Despite the awkwardness and detest for who was doing this to him, his body was gladly accepting this wonderful treatment.

“Cut it out...” he protested, though it was a very weak protest. Eventually all the fighting was just drained from him and he just allowed the Spy to do whatever he wanted to him. Clearly the killer could tell as he gave of a slight smirk.

“Zat’s better.”

The trail of kisses moved from his collar bone down his chest going even lower. A soft groan escaped the Australian’s lips as a hand had slowly made its way to his groin and rubbed against his skin through the fabric of his boxers. Blood was rushing to his head and to his crotch. Why was he doing this? After all the bullshit they had both been putting each other through, Spy suddenly found a change of heart to start trying to please the man? It was a little suspicious but Sniper didn’t protest in slight fear that the lovely sensation of the suckling kisses would stop.

Spy’s second hand slid down his waist till it reached the edge of his boxers. Fingers trailed across the line and soon slipped under the material. Sniper soon found himself lifting his lower half up a little so it would be easier to remove the now annoying article of clothing.

Why was he giving in so easily? Was he that weak? Just submitting like this like a… oh… that was nice…

With agonising leisure the Spy ran his finger along the underside of his member. Just by touch, it seemed to perk awake. Just what was this guy playing at? The familiar sensation of his sense of touch being heightened was working into him. He could feel the sweat slowly rolling down the curve of his back. Heck, he could see parts of Spy’s balaclava slightly damp with perspiration, his scent wafting into the air and taunting the Sniper’s nostrils as his worked on his member.

One finger soon became two, working on not just the underside but the top as well. That sinful feather light touch, ghosting around his penis as Sniper tried not to make a sound. Before he knew it he was a slave to the lust, the last remaining parts of his mind only allowing him to grunt or groan low in delight. His boxers were long since discarded, and Spy was already getting dangerously close to his manhood, watching it as it throbbed in time with his heartbeat.

“You are enjoying zis, non?”

His teeth were gritting so hard now… and Spy’s breath was so close to the pre-cum coated tip of his head… “Y-Yeah.” He swallowed, gripping onto the sides of the bed as he watched the man between his legs intently as best as he could. Trying to draw out the moment for as long as he could, Spy leant down and kissed the shaft in an agonisingly light way. So light that Sniper could barely feel it. But it sent rivers of shivers up the man’s spine. “J-Just geet on with it already!” He gasped, feeling his grip shift so that he could slam Spy’s open panting mouth down onto his member and get it started.

Fighting back a gag the Frenchman glared up at the Sniper, who was now groaning in bliss. He released the cock from his mouth for a brief moment.

“Well, if you are so eager…”

And then, with his usual sneer, he surrounding Sniper’s length with is eagerly awaiting mouth.

Sniper groaned loudly again. He didn’t care if the rest of the team heard him, he would think of a story later. While he never really appreciated Spy shooting insults to him about his mother and heritage and education, the guy really did know how to give head. His tongue lapped around the tip in quick motions, lapping up the pre-cum that was quickly accumulating from the foreplay. To top it all off, he gave a small hum at the back of his throat as he took more of the cock on into his mouth. That single sending vibrations down the organ and throughout Sniper’s body. His teeth ground and his hips bucked slightly in appreciation. Spy gagged slightly and glared up at Sniper. He wasn’t a sex toy. “S-Sorry mate. Jus…” Oh god he felt so dirty for saying this. “…just keep going.” Seemingly satisfied, Spy continued his work. His moist, wet mouth lapping and sucking at his member, flicking his tongue at the slit from time to time to give lovely new sensations to pulse through the Australian’s body.

The preparation siren went off and Sniper’s eyes opened to see that it was morning already. Just a second ago though he could’ve sworn Spy was between his legs, though when he looked too the side there was no one there. Quickly the man sat up in his bed and reached on the counter beside him to grab a small mirror. Putting it in front of him, he inspected his neck to see that there was no mark from the love bite Spy had given him. It... was a dream? Well that was a little relieving in a way. At least they didn’t actually do those things, since now he was fully conscious he would have freaked out a bit more. Plus you can’t control your dreams. A sigh of relief swept over him like a refreshing cool breeze.

“It’s about time you woke up.” Spy’s voice came from behind.

The instinctive nature of hating his roommate came right back to him like that dream had never happened. He simply growled and looked up, only to be met with a burst of laughter.

“So you had a good dream it seems.”

At first Sniper was confused until he looked down the bed to see he was suffering a severe case of ‘morning glory’

“Aw shi- Get the hell out!” He shouted throwing a pillow at Spy’s face so he’d leave.

We are NOT sharing the bed again. He thought to himself as he decided to take care of his erection before going into battlements.

+++

TO BE CONTINUED. DURHURHUR.
We’re such teases.

>>45
Best use of "only a dream" I've EVER seen! Usually it's a cop-out; here, I can see it building to the plot. And by "plot" I mean the Sniper nailing the Spy like a two-by-four.

>In front of them, one leg crossed over the other while his fingers were interlocked with each other just in front of his nose, was the Medic.
Medic you sexy bitch.

I loved it, and the whole dream part was just awesome.

and what a wonderful dream it was, haha
what a great way to start the week off with

I've been having a pretty crappy day and this made me smile. Real nice work mate =)

All I can say is "yeehaw".

LOL

fuck yes, best dream ever

Best dream sequence ever....

Happy birthday to me <3

dang, didn't even realize it was a dream till the very end
very hot, please write faster <3

for some reason, Spy saying "mon face" is like, the funniest thing in the world to me right now.
>>46
oh man I hope youre right!

NNGH!!!

that is all.

Hehehehehe, oh my. Silly Sniper, so in denial. That dream. LORDY that dream! Hope he gets a great big "Dream come true" later, if you know what I'm sayin' X3

thank you, may I have some more?

that dream sequence worked incredibly. And oh god, it was hot. More, I implore you.

Hot ass sexy dream and DO NOT FUCK WITH MEDIC.
All this and what's sticking with me is the Spy pinned the van like a trophy by the Hunstman.
Man, I love this fic.

ffff this chapter totally made my day

what happened in the van, stayed in the van. while Spy… well, fuck knows why Spy was still awake.
God damn I love these two phrases.
What a disturbing dream, huh! Poor Sniper, I see what's going up his ass.

>>57
Azer: MOOOOOOOOOOOARRRRR!??!?!?

Granted.
Also Rachos’ is going to her grandmother’s for the next 3 days. So there’ll be a slight delay in the next chapter. OH HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT YOUUUUU!?!?!? –cries-

Rachos: You could start a cult in my honour? With balloons and parades daily? (B *shot*

Azer: .... Right... Oh man. This chapter is so fluffy haha. I hope you guys don’t mind that kinda stuff.

+++

A dream was a dream. What happens in them you often can’t control, who you end up having sex with you can’t control that either. Of course when Sniper had woken up he was back in his full state of awareness on how he hated the RED Spy and hoped he’d suffer a fiery, painful death. He didn’t want to give it a second thought and he didn’t want to rethink or relive that dream, no matter how amazing that had felt- NO SCRATCH THAT. It wasn’t amazing! It was wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Thankfully, after being laughed at for the morning glory, his roommate had stayed out of sight from him the whole day. It was seemingly that he made an effort to keep away from him during the night, seeing as they had to spend their nights together. It was enough suffering as it was, without having to see each other all day. If they did that then they’d soon find themselves back to square one, killing each other every night for a nice empty bed for them to sleep on.

The alone time was certainly something he needed, his aim was rather off all day, some perfectly good opportunities were carelessly missed as the mental imagery of the Spy going down on him cause him to blank out at random intervals. This was torture is what it was, now he was becoming afraid that every time he saw the bloody spook his mind would go straight to the gutter into that. At one point an enemy soldier noticed his little hide-away and started firing a bunch of rockets at him. Sniper was lucky to have gotten out alive. Unfortunately he didn’t have time to grab his things while trying to escape from an exploding wooden room so all he had on him was the sniper rifle slouched over his back.

His clothes were smoking a little like he had just been caught on fire but he only had some minor wounds from it all. Seeing as all this lack of concentration was as much as the Medic’s fault as the Spy’s, he didn’t want to try and find him to treat the wounds. Making way to the nearest dispenser he used that to get his hands on some health kits and recover, also to restock on some ammo and weaponry that he lost in his nest. As he sat by the dispenser it was about that time where their allied Demoman came up to grab a quick recovery also. Thankfully the man was somewhat sober during the battles.

“Yer lookin’ a little stressed, matey.”

Sniper grumbled at how his lack of focus was obvious even to the alcoholic of their team. Even though he didn’t speak a firm reassuring pat on the back was delivered.
“You knoo I often feel the same way as you...”

You mean having sex dreams about your associates? He quickly thought back in response, of course he didn’t say it.

“But I deal with that with meh special grog!” He said with a wide smile and now suddenly holding out a gin bottle as if he was a part of an advertising campaign. Sniper looked at him with a raised brow as the bottle was forced into his hands.

“Mate, we still have fighting to do.”

“Argh, I knoo we doo, lad. I’m noot saying you drink it noo. Yer drink it later. It’ll be good for woot ales ye.”

Another firm pat met with the Sniper’s back and off the Demoman went in a bloody lusting rush of odd battle cries and taunts followed by hasty round of explosions and shakes. The gunman still sat there as a Heavy’s head rolled into vision. It wasn’t a very out of the ordinary sight so he was able to quickly lose attention on it and look back at the drink the Demoman handed him. He gave a slight disgruntled look at it but decided to keep it with him to be polite.

+++

Another day was out and it was long before that when the Sniper began drinking out of the bottle. It was overly strong at the beginning he had to admit, but the more he drank it the more refreshing it became and he could now see why the Demoman kept taking a swig at it when it was empty. You just wanted every last bloody drop. When that first bottle was bone dry he ended up going to the Re-supply room to find more of this delicious concoction and swiped another 2 bottles. He’d find a way to repay the man sooner or later anyways.

The more he drank the more it certainly got him to relax about the constant issues running through his head. Of course he told himself that he wasn’t going to do this all the time, this was just a one-time thing... and in his defence if you had the Spy living with you for a month, any man would start drinking.

Since the time was now up it was alright for him to head on back to the van and hopefully get to drink some more. Though one thing he forgot to take into consideration was how he was going to deal with Spy when he saw him. Where the hell did he park his van again? Stupid thing, he should put it more closer to the fort so he didn’t need to walk so far...

+++

Inside the little piece of tin on wheels that he now called ‘home’, Spy found himself pacing about with a cigarette in his mouth. He had no idea as to just why he was stalking up and down the van, but he had such an unusual bundle of energy inside of him right now that it was hard to sit still. Unlike Sniper, he never really thought much about the morning stiffy incident this morning. It was lonely out in the desert after all. He knew the familiar dark mistress of isolation all too well. Judging by Sniper’s face this morning, this was a very rare occasion. He smirked to himself before dragging on his tobacco again and glancing at his wristwatch. It was after dinner now. Two hours after sunset and Sniper hadn’t yet returned. The two hadn’t seen each other all day, so Spy had no idea what had happened. Maybe he got himself blown up so then he didn’t have to deal with his French roommate again? Knowing Sniper, he wouldn’t be surprised. The man needed to really loosen up a bit more.

Why was he worrying so much anyway? Clicking his tongue to himself, he loosened his tie and started to undo the buttons on his undershirt cuffs. Oh well. Bed to himself again tonight. No hard feelings Sniper, but that’s just the way the world worked. Smugly, he could feel his eyes narrow as his lips curved upwards widely. Fantastic. Maybe this would work out for the better?

That was before the sound of something ramming into the tin van door jarred him from his thoughts. What on earth could that be?

Judging by the long stream of muffled profanities, it was Sniper. Sighing, Spy took off his gloves and tossed his almost finished cigarette outside a window. Really now, the man didn’t have to be so brash about coming home late. “And ‘ere I thought zat you had shot yourself in ze head.” Spy called out, unlocking the van door and opening it wide. Upon seeing Sniper, he could feel his smug face fall.

Because Sniper was drunk.

The signs were obvious. Swaying on the spot, the hiccups, the odd snicker or giggle as he had a bottle of liquid sloshing about in his hand… Sniper was totally plastered. Spy sighed and pulled the man into the van before he could fall over his two feet. “So zis is what you ‘ave been doing all zis time.” Giggling, the lone bottle Sniper was holding smashed on the steps, the amber ale flowing freely everywhere. He was completely unaware of his surroundings as well, judging by the small bruises and marks on his face from running into walls and cacti. “Cheh. I just cleaned zere last night as well…”

Spy trailed off as Sniper leaned into his chest a bit too leisurely, one arm slung around the assassin’s shoulders while the other was waving around to clutch onto the doorframe. His face was starting to tint red. Not from his usual bouts of fury, but from something else. “Y… Ya know what I like about you Spaaah?” His words were slurring together as his feet tried to walk where his body couldn’t go. Spy wrinkled his nose as the man’s alcohol stained breath hit him at full force. He sounded just like an uneducated hillbilly right now.

“I did not zink zat you particularly liked me at all.” He replied dryly, gripping onto the Australian’s arm so that he could help him get to his room. Sniper’s long legs dragged out behind him (almost causing Spy to lose his grip), but managed to get some from of bizarre drunken walking going.

“III likeeee ‘ow you jus’ don’ give a damn.” The slur came again as he gave a weak, playful punch to Spy’s jaw. Spy gave no response, keeping his face in “UNIMPRESED” mode and thin lips pulled into an even finer line. It was hard not to backhand the man. Very hard. Especially considering that Sniper was now all over him again in a giant, uncoordinated mess. Frowning, Spy walked in backwards to the bedroom back first before coming to a rest on the bed.

“You are a complete mess. Juz what did you drink, mon ami?” Sniper didn’t respond, although he did give a giggle into Spy’s chest. Frowning, the sober man took the Australian’s hat off his head. There was a small bump forming on his forehead from where he ran into the door. “Ah, but you are hurt.” Spy murmured, brushing some of the sweaty dark hair away, noting some other injuries on the man’s body. They were given a rough patch up job. The fool. He was obviously too proud to go and see Medic after they were caught fighting the other night. While the first-aid wasn’t a bad job, it needed some better treatment.

“Ya gonna kiss ‘em better spook?” Spy blinked, looking down at the man who had decided that his lap made a good pillow. He had a lopsided grin on his face, almost as if dangling a dare out for anyone to accept. Sniper would never just do this. It wasn’t in his style. It wasn’t normal.

Spy’s hand reached up and pushed Sniper’s forehead back into the pillow so he’d sit still while he went to try and find the small first aid kit they had around the van somewhere. A particular question in Spy’s head was ‘why did Sniper get drunk in the first place?’ sure they were all men (excluding Scout) and like men they enjoyed their occasional beer. Still none of them drank themselves stupid unless it was Demoman.

After locating the kit, Spy went back to the bed, quite relieved that Sniper didn’t get up and run around while his back had been turned. One annoying thing about drunken people is how unpredictable they were in terms of actions. For all Spy knew, Sniper could’ve stripped himself of all his clothes and started running around outside while demanding Spy try and catch him. Not something he wanted.

“Just sit still. I’ll patch you up.” He sighed as he began to tend to some of the injuries. Of course he wasn’t as good as Medic, but it was better than Sniper trying to patch himself up. “Zere we go...” He said as he finished the final patch up.

Sniper was still out of it as there were random outbursts of small laughs. It was a little curious to know what the hell was so funny, but when you’re drunk the stupidest things could be funny.

“I had a dream about you last night...” He said.

Well that’s nice. Spy thought not fully absorbing this message until 10 seconds later. He got chills all over and suddenly things just pieced together. A dream about him and an errection in the morning. Oh good lord...

“You should probably get to sleep, mon Snipe...” He quickly replied, now feeling a little flustered. Spy tried to not read too deeply into it, after all even if it was a sex dream about him that his roommate had about him last night then that was just something out of his control and not because he saw Spy in that way.

“I don’t wanna sleep.” He replied, in a very drowsy kind of tone. Even though the man was very obviously tired, he seemed to just be resisting him because it was Spy giving the orders. Letting off another unimpressed look he got up to walk away, if he left the area then Sniper would fall asleep in no time. Just as he turned around a hand had came up and snatched at his wrist.

“Let go-”

“You still didn’t kiss ‘em better.”

...Was he serious? It was a little concerning that he was now bringing this up a second time. The firm grip on his wrist was pretty much indicating that he wasn’t going to let go unless he did what he wanted. This man... was very troublesome.

Leaning down he gave a small kiss to the forehead. There. That should settle him. Spy didn’t pull back too far as he looked back down to Snipers half open eyes. His mouth was parted slightly and a small moan bubbled out of his throat. Slowly he gave another kiss, only this time he moved a bit lower. He didn’t know what was coming over him but with each little kiss he found himself progressing to the man’s lips until they eventually connected. Sniper’s lips were so dry compared to his own. So very dry.

They stayed like that for some time until Spy felt the need to have a bit more and deepen the kiss by licking the Sniper’s parched lips, requesting further access to his mouth. It seemed happily granted as they intensity opened up and more force was added. Spy could taste the alcohol but wasn’t at all bothered by it as his tongue massaged over his partner’s. Even in his drunken state Sniper seemed to have some control over his tongue. It danced about Spy’s in various motions, exploring and tasting with clear curiosity.

Soon the taste of nicotine and alcohol blended until they became one unified and unique flavour, dancing inside Spy’s mouth. His hands rested on each side of Sniper’s head as they soon started to comb through the short hair. Though sticky with sweat, he relished in the soft texture it provided him to explore. He could feel Sniper pushing back into his mouth, his own hands starting to explore his face. Well, the parts that he was able to reach while they continued to kiss. Over every curve and soft part of flesh that was both exposed and hidden to the world. Melting together, working in unguided synchronisation…

It was only when they broke apart for breath did Spy gain control over himself again.

What was he doing? Why was he doing this? Was it because he knew about the dream and now gained a sexual curiosity about the gunman? He had to stop. Even if he was feeling reluctant right now, he couldn’t do this. Spy pulled away from the Sniper like ripping off a bandaid. He knew if he tried to do that slowly then he’d never stop.

“Y-You... go to sleep.” He hissed as he quickly left the room just in case Sniper planned to try and grab him again. Not even turning back to see his drunken team mate’s face. Power walking out the door, Spy stalked outside of the metal rust bucket on wheels before coming to rest against the cool metal of the van. Just what the hell was going on between the two of them?! First they start trying to kill each other and now this? They had both just over shot the part of being friendly and gone romantic. Grimacing, Spy looked up into the starry sky above him. The moon was wanning now, but it still casted its beautiful light over the ungodly terrain. What was really kicking Spy was the fact that he... somewhat enjoyed that. Cursing silently, his hand pulled out his cigarette case and prepared yet another stick to smoke. His mind was having an inner battle of denial, that enjoying that kiss wasn’t crazy and he was just not thinking clearly. Oh c’mon he didn’t even want to leave, that was saying something about enjoyment right?

Going back into that bed again was something he was unsure if he could do. Hopefully Sniper would forget about the whole ordeal so they’d never have to talk about it. He was out of his mind drunk so chances were pretty high on that. Oh how Spy was now a little envious of Sniper, he’d be able to forget, but Spy would be stuck with the feeling, the taste, the want for more...

This was all Medic’s fault somehow...

+++

Medic was still up late working when he heard a faint knock at his door. Rubbing his eyes, he set aside his glasses. “Ist zat you Scout?” His voice was a raspy grumble. “I told you to stop bozering me so zat I could finish zese reports for tomorrow, or else I’ll--” He stopped as soon as he opened the door however.

“Spy?”

Spy had the look about him like he had just been wandering around aimlessly with eyes that showed a severe lack of sleep. He was wearing his full suit, looking as normal as ever otherwise.

“Vat are you doing out at this hour? You should be getting some sleep.”

“I can’t sleep in zat... zat van!” Spy shouted but at the same time tried to keep it down just in case he woke someone up. Heavy got awfully cranky if someone woke him from his precious sleep. No one was injured tonight and that bed that was rightfully his was being currently unused. “Can’t I just sleep in ze ward here with you?” he added on.

Medic raised his head a little and looked down at him in a stern kind of way. That cold look somehow had Spy envisioning that if he stayed here with the Medic then who knows what kind of ‘friendship’ they could bond. He wasn’t safe anywhere...

“If you are having trouble with Herr Sniper I could make sure he gets zer message zat I tried to give you both last time…” He let the sentence linger in the air, sending a chill down Spy’s spine. No, this wasn’t what he intended. Scratching at his cheek with a gloveless finger, the assassin feigned composure as he turned his attention to his fingernails.

“Oh, non, non… it isn’t like zat… not at all.” Flicking some dirt away he looked back to the Medic. Yes… he couldn’t stay here. At first he was considering telling Medic everything that just happened. Sniper… himself… everything moving so fast… but no. He had a good feeling that it would just make things worse and then spiral downhill like a snowball effect. He’d certainly be the one to pay for this if he spoke up.

And he didn’t trust himself enough right now to go blabbing about things to the Medic. Yes… “Ah, forgive me doctoeer. I just have been having trouble sleeping.” He promptly turned his back on the German, making his way back to the stairs. “My apologies for being a bother to you.”

Medic watched quietly as the Spy left before closing his door quietly, too tired to even bother figuring this all out. He sighed, rubbing his eyes in fatigue. If it was of importance, he would have been told already.

+++

Spy arrived back in the van quietly, though he felt like he didn’t need to be. With how out of it Sniper was he wouldn’t be too surprised if a sudden explosion didn’t wake him up. He opened the door, mouth twitching slightly as it clanged against the tin once. Right at this moment he really was starting to regret having burnt that couch. Though the reminder of it having an open piss jar spilt all over the fabric was something beyond repair. That and there was a slight stain on the floor from where it had dripped for probably months on end, serving as a perfect remind that the couch was simply so foul that it was uninhabitable by any living creature. Save for the cockroaches of course. Shedding his suit, he hung it up nicely so it wouldn’t be so creased when he woke up. Even though he felt like he was completely dishevelled at the moment.

Pushing the door open gently the room greeted Spy like an old familiar sight. Sniper’s photos still hung up on the walls, his hat still lying neatly on the bedside desk, and one of the more prized hunting rifles lay near a wall. All bathed in moonlight. On the bed Sniper was out like a light and lying on the further end of the bed, sheets twined around his legs and hips as he slept. This was almost like the first night he spent in this van, having to quietly sneak under the sheets hoping not to wake him. Though now it felt like there wouldn’t be any consequences if Sniper found him sleeping in his bed. After all, when the man woke up he would probably be blinded by the biggest hangover of his life.

As he lay under the sheets he lay perfectly straight with his head looking up to the ceiling, occasionally looking to the window and observing the stars from bar secured windows. Eventually he rolled over slightly so he could face Sniper’s back. What the hell was this man doing to him? It was completely puzzling. Last week the two couldn’t stand the sight of each other. And now? Now what were they? But he couldn’t lie. He enjoyed the company… the contact… he enjoyed it so much that it seemed to be wrong.

Hesitantly, Spy ran an ungloved hand gentle down the back of Sniper’s hair with a tender hand. The man made no motion to move in his sleep, so Spy continued the action, content in watching his lean body before him rise and fall in his drunken slumber.

Feeling bolder, his arm lifted itself up slightly to gently swing itself over Sniper’s torso. ‘Rolling around in your sleep’ was an easy enough excuse to get him out of it, if Sniper woke up angry at their current position.

But for now?

This felt nice.

+++

By the time Sniper had woken up, Spy was already curled up in his own corner far away from Sniper as possible, probably due to Spy rolling around in his sleep. A throbbing headache was the first thing that Sniper noticed however as his hands reached up to his heads and he tried to massage his temples. Urghhh he most certainly wasn’t going to be doing any heavy drinking again anytime soon. He climbed over Spy not caring if his weight would wake him up, he’d need to get up to head to battlements anyways.

“Wake up yer bloody drongo.” He growled as he walked over to the sink to wash his face, trying to endure the incredibly annoying loud sound the rushing tap water made.

Spy grumbled into the pillow as he slowly pushed himself up and forcing himself to get out of bed. He too walked over to the sink to wash his face, of course leaving his mask on while doing so. When he was alone he’d take the mask of for a nice wash of his face, however seeing as no one on his team knew what he looked like under it, he wished to keep it that way.

After grabbing a face towel and drying himself off he gave a short look at Sniper who just put on his aviator glasses to help him feel a little better about the hangover he was now suffering. Soon enough the Aussie’s eyes met with the Frenchman’s.

“Wot?”

“Do you remember anyzing about last night?” He asked. That sounded a little suspicious but there wasn’t really any other way for him to be sure.

“I remember coming back here and going to sleep. I ain’t drinkin’ again for a while that’s for sure...”

So that was it. Sniper had no memory about that kiss whatsoever. Perhaps if Spy kept everything to himself then it would be like nothing had ever happened? That was for the best; obviously that kiss was a one-time thing. The two of them could only get so drunk so many times before they start questioning their sexuality.

+++

TO BE CONTINUEEEEED.

DO WANT MORE

But I suggest you update these in shorter, more frequent posts. I mean, they're really, really big.

FFFFFFF- I'M LATE FOR WORK. I HAVE NOONE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF.

But I blame you anyway. Damn you, you glorious tease of an update!

>>63
That is such a bizarre complaint. "I don't like the way you update!" Just enjoy the update!

This fic is pleasing, but I keep tripping over your dialogue punctuation. For example:
“I don’t wanna sleep.” He replied, in a very drowsy kind of tone.should be
“I don’t wanna sleep,” he replied, in a very drowsy kind of tone.

Oh man.

Stupid sexy Medic. He probably gets off to Sniper and Spy's little cat fights.

>>63
What is wrong with you, updates are incredibly frequent.

“I can’t sleep in zat... zat van!”Your way of writing is unbelievably entertaining. And please, KEEP IT UP WITH THAT FLUFF. I mean, I don't find fucking without any plot interesting. But you've got the characters perfectly, that's so awesome.
Also I am getting used to you guys update so often. I repeat, your collab is full of win.

oh Sniper....you should drink more
wonderful update C:

updaaate.
but.

he should put it more closerwhy you do this

I enjoyed this update and I feel like I should thank you or something.

Oh my. I hope you never stop writing.

>>68

You're totally right!


Continue PLEASE!!!!

I love this and I love the two of you. Things are gonna get deliciously awkward.

>>65

Making the updates more frequent wasn't my original request, it was just an efficacy of my request. Maybe I should have left it out, as it had little to do with what I was asking, which was for the updates to be shorter. It made seem like a small thing to gripe over, but seeing a giant mountain of text like these updates is a bit intimidating, to say in the least. I just suggest they be released in shorter form.

This is SO GOOD story! lol but really it's awesome and very hot. can't wait for an update

dam D: got to wait for the next update

This fic? Sooooo good. Can't wait for the next update, and I totally agree with Demon Door on this one. The fluff - it was glorious.

"For all Spy knew, Sniper could’ve stripped himself of all his clothes and started running around outside while demanding Spy try and catch him."

I died.

‘Rolling around in your sleep’ was an easy enough excuseSpy was already curled up in his own corner far away from Sniper as possible, probably due to Spy rolling around in his sleepI lol'd and d'aww'd at the same time.
I love this fic so much. C:

>>78

And immediately pictured it happening. Me too.

"I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol"

hope this gets its update tomorrow x3

Seconding the hope for an update. <3

Wow... this... THIS. Just pure amazing!

The only complaint I have is that it could use a bit more of either proof-reading or betaing.

I wish it was update time already ='( Keep up the awesomeness! <3

Eee! By far my favorite chapter! I loves me a flustered Spy. I just D'AAAAWED all over this.

The only complaint I have is that it could use a bit more of either proof-reading or betaing.
I agree with this. I'm guessing you two are beta-ing each other's chapters? I think you need a third person involved.

(I do like this fic and hope you update soon.)

Moar. Please. <3

Please, more? You got me hooked and now I'm checking 10 times a day to see if there's an update.

Rachos: Hurr… for everyone who has noticed the mistakes in the last chapter? Yeah. My bad. It was my job to beta that. Which I did. When I was half asleep. In fifteen minutes. No excuse for posting up a poorly beta’d bit of writing. Lesson learnt and hopefully this chapter will be better grammatically. (Mainly because it’s Azer’s turn to do it now! Hur hur hur).

Azer: And I’m just fail beta in general :D Sorry for the long delay guys. I tried my hardest to get her to work. –puts away the chains, whips and lube-

ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE SEXY TIMES.

+++
Spy couldn’t sleep well for the next few days. The events of that one night were constantly playing in his head over and over again. It was affecting him in so many ways that no professional, self-respecting spy would allow. Hesitating in battle, being burnt, stabbed, and whacked was a consequence of it. Thankfully it was nothing too serous. These wounds could be healed or patched up. But what he did… what he had done couldn’t be fixed. Already it was doing damage to not just him, but the RED team.

Soldier was not happy.

“MAGGOT!!! WHY IN HELL’S BLUE BALLS ARE YOU BEING SUCH A PUSSY FAGGOT MORE SO THAN USUAL?!” The American’s face was purple, his neck veins throbbing dangerously as Spy looked on unimpressed. “BEEEEEEECAUSE OF YOU THOSE LADIES IN THE BLU TRANSVESTITE UNIFORMS HAVE ADVANCED! ALL THAT GROUND WE MADE ON THEM THIS WEEK IS GONE! GONE!”

Dragging on his cigarette, Spy blew smoke into the shorter man’s face as slowly and calmly as ever. “We all ‘ave our bad days don’t we, Soldier?” A small smirk played about his lips. “If I recall, zere was zat moment a few days ago where you blew yourself up with your rocket launcher--”

CLANG!

He got pimp slapped by a shovel.

“YOU PISSY FANCY FRENCH MEN WHORES DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT TACTICS! AND THAT WAS AN EQUIPMENT MALFUNCTION!!” And Spy thought Soldier’s face looked livid before. The military man was practically steaming, the colour of his face alternating from ‘raging purple’, ‘fuckin’ pissed off red’, and ‘I’m going to kill you and your mother’ blue. Massing his cheek, Spy gave off a glare. “NOW YOU TURN THAT TAIL AROUND MISTER AND DON’T YOU DARE SHOW YOURSELF AGAIN OR I’LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF!”

“But we are on ze same team.”

“…I’D BETTER NOT SEE YOU FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT THEN!”

It wasn’t really something that should become a habit. Spy needed to get his act together with his battle tactics otherwise… well; he wouldn’t be much of a spy then. Letting his whole team down was something that he didn’t want to do any time soon.

For that to happen, he needed closure.

There was no need to tell Sniper… no, not at all. So what if they shared a kiss or two? Or three? ...and that nice long one at the end…

No. Don’t think about it. It only made things worse. Sighing, he rolled the cigarette around in his mouth with his tongue for a little bit, trying not to think about that last kiss that they shared. How their tongues seemed to become one entity, working together and against each other in beautiful ways that-

Goddamnit, he was already thinking about it again.

Rubbing his eyes with a free hand, he looked to the dying sun. It warmed is balaclava and dark suit in a comforting way, lighting his face and hands with its orange light. Right now wasn’t the best time to dwell on the past. Now he had to plan. The kissing was something he’d have to get over in his own time but there was something else bothering him.

“What in ze world was he dreaming of zat night?”

+++
When Spy had been told by the Sniper that he had a dream about him the night before he pieced together that it was the reason Sniper had woken up with an impressive hard-on. Still he couldn’t be too sure of that. Some people can experience many dreams in one night so who’s to say that dream wasn’t of some woman in his past? Although by the looks of the photos on his wall though there was only one lady and it was most definitely his mother. He was pretty sure that, while Sniper was a sick bastard that peed in jars and threw them at people who wrongly crossed his path, he wouldn’t have sexual fantasies about his mother.

Mouth twitching up underneath his paper mask, Spy cracked his neck to one side. This was going to be difficult. The men on the RED team weren’t really ones to talk about each other. He’d have to be extremely careful about how he delved into the conversations. And when he picked his times to do it was also a crucial matter. Today was a day off for everyone, which was a rarity. Spy was going to milk it for all it was worth.

Thinking carefully about whom he could disguise himself as took a lot of thought. Of course this was Sniper and he wasn’t about to go blurting out the sex dreams he has to his colleagues, especially if they involved man on man. Scout wasn’t a good choice, but logical. The boy already had known of the sleeping arrangements for a good while now, sending the odd quip or two towards the room mates every now and then. Soldier? God no, not him. While Spy was good at getting in people’s heads, he could never truly figure out how this team’s Soldier really worked. The man was too unpredictable. Heck, it probably wouldn’t be surprising to anyone if the man sat down, pulled off someone’s pants and started jerking them off while screaming about how womanly their legs were and how they should stop crying like a girl getting dumped on her prom night.

How about Engineer then? He was calm, generally intelligent (when he wasn’t screaming at the top of his lungs when an enemy Spy sapped his buildings) and also hospitable. A safe first bet to start prying with.

Flipping through his disguise list in his cigarette case, Spy pressed number ‘6’ on the casing. The briefly flickering hologram of the Engineer encased him before solidifying completely. Smiling slightly, the Frenchmen gave a tip of the fictional hardhat.

“Time to do some scoutin’ boys.”

+++
“So, ya goin’ ta talk about it?”

“…wot?”

Engineer and Sniper were on the rooftops, staring at the clouds as they shared a few beers. A surprisingly kind gesture that Sniper was glad to take the Texan up on. Ever since the start of the month it was nothing but Spy, Spy and Spy. While he never talked to anyone in the team much, the small window of opportunity to interact with someone else on the team was there and there was free grog involved. It was a winning combination.

Although Engineer was acting a little strange today…

“Come on boy, I can see ya twistin’ in the wind these past few days. What’s playin’ on yer mind?” Sniper glared into his beer darkly, his sunglasses shining brilliantly in the light.

“It’s not really any of your business, mate.”

“Well we’re all meant to be team mates here. Is it about Spy living in your van?” The beer that Sniper was just taking a drink out of almost got lodged in his throat as he choked on the ale. Quickly Engineer started to whack his back until the coughing was over.

“No!” He gave one last cough as the Engineer gave another good thump on his back. “‘ow did you know about that?”

“Word gets around.” With an indifferent face, the Texan tipped his hardhat. “So what’s goin’ on? Anythin’ bad?”

Sniper growled as he wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand, his glasses now hanging precariously on the end of his nose.

“I don’t want to spend my day off talkin’ about that bloody spy. Come on, let’s just talk about somethin’ else.” Engineer gave a slow nod, turning his attention back to the rolling sky that was folding out before them. With a small huff into his bottle, Sniper leaned on his knees as the wind blew by softly. The silence was suffocating and awkward.

“You just seem tense about it.”

“I’M NOT FUCKIN’ TENSE.” The beer bottle Sniper was holding smashed in his hands. Recoiling slightly, the Engineer gave him a weary look from beneath his goggles.

“I’m just sayin’…”

“Piss off. What would you know?” Face set into a scowl, the Australian stood up and marched off, mood to sit back and drink gone completely. All the while the Engineer sat and watched him leave, a faint frown creasing his face.

“Well, zat went well.” He mumbled to himself sarcastically in a French accent.

+++
Sniper could feel himself sweating bullets as he raced to Medic’s ward. He couldn’t stand it any more. Everyone was asking him about Spy and the sleeping arrangements. Just yesterday no one was any the wiser. How did word get out so fast?! It must have been Scout. He seemed pretty damn smug with himself when he ran into Sniper today. Also Scout was fitting to be the team’s gossip queen. Running from door to door with the latest dramas of who young Billy Bob was sleeping with last night. Thanks to all the team mates talking to Sniper about it… it kept on making him think about his room mate. He needed to talk to someone. The only person who wasn’t prying on him today.

Medic.

It WAS Medic’s fault that all of this happened, right? He already knew that Sniper was already harbouring deep hatred for Spy. Especially ever since that day when he broke that--

“Herr Sniper?”

Sniper tore himself away from the wall he was leaning on, looking at Medic as he came up the stairs adjusting his glasses.

“Heh. Been lookin’ for ya, doc.”

“Vat is zer problem zis time?” The German queried wearily, opening the door and allowing for Sniper to enter first. “Zer two of you better not be fighting again or I’ll-”

“No!!” Medic raised an eyebrow to Sniper as they walked into the pristine white tilted room. Dammit. He had said that too fast and too sudden. “No! No, not like that, mate…” The marksman rubbed the back of his head as he took up a seat on the steel table in the centre of the room. “A bit different actually.” Medic’s raised eyebrow went up even higher as he leaned against the bench near some cupboards.

“Vell?” He tapped a gloved finger on the side of his arm that he was holding, the sound of plastic squeaking as it moved. “Vat is zer problem?” Sniper shifted uncomfortably on the table, the florescent lights around him seeming to shine on him like a spotlight.

“Eurgh… ya see… well, I’ve been… having some dreams.”

“Ja? Zat ist normal.” Medic turned to busy himself with restocking some medicine in some cabinets.

“Not these dreams mate. They’re about… me… and…” He mumbled into his chest in order to drown out the last part of his sentence. Medic rolled his eyes and looked back over his shoulder.

“’And?’ Ist zat all you have to say?”

“They’re about me and Spy.”

“…ah.”

It was becoming Medic’s trademark to say nothing but ‘…ah’ whenever something odd between Sniper and Spy occurred. It was getting somewhat annoying, especially now when Sniper needed to talk to someone. Medic turned his attention back to the cabinets, the uncomfortable silence growing between the two men, thickening like a week old pudding.

“Do you vant to elaborate? Vat exactly is happening in zese dreams between you and ze Spy?”

“Aw mate. Don’t make me go into detail about it.” He was embarrassed enough as it was and he wasn’t really enthused to recite it.

There was another bit of a pause.

“…ah. Zo zese are sexual dreams?”

“Keep it down would ya?” Sniper hissed hoping to god there wasn’t anyone else around them able to hear from the thin walls. If that damn Scout overheard that there would be no way in hell that this would be let down. Medic just turned away as if to contemplate what exactly to say next.

“Vell you seem awfully distracted by it all.”

“Ya think?” The sarcasm oozed from Sniper’s voice thickly.

“I zink what you need to do is to get it out of your system.”

“Out of my system? How do you recommend I go about doing that?”

“You know. Just fuck zer man and zen it should be out of ze way.”

Sniper paused and stared at Medic at horror and disbelief. Did he really just say that?

“WOAH!? Woah mate, slow down a bit ‘ere!” He waved a hand up. “You’re actually suggesting I go and sleep with that… that Spy!?”

“Of course. It’s obviously what you need.” Medic pulled at the edge of one of his gloves, sending the sharp snapping sound of latex throughout the small room. The florescent lights were making his glasses gleam ever so dangerously as Sniper looked at the man in horror. How could he be so casual about this?! “Vhen vas zer last time you masturbated?”

Sniper’s face flushed. “I’m not obliged to answer that!”

“I’m your doctor. You /have/ to answer zat. Or do you vant to keep having zis problem, mm?”

Sniper growled, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes a little. “Yesterday.” It was barely audible, but Medic seemed to hear it well enough. He turned and busied himself with a draw, searching through it for something.

“Vell obviously zis is somezing masturbation can’t fix. You need release.” Sniper brought a hand up to his head to cradle it so that he could block out the words going through his head.

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this…”

“You need lubrication?” Sniper lifted his head, immediately regretting it as he saw a small unmarked tube in Medic’s hand. Holding it up like some sort of chef on a cooking show. Sniper’s face flushed even further.

“HELL NO!”

“It’d make it better. You know zat if you try and participate in anal sex it would be unpleasant without some of-”

“I’M NOT DOING IT YOU SICK WANKER.” Purely livid, Sniper jumped up from his table and bolted out of the room, extremely eager to get out of the ward. Medic watched the Australian flee in silence, pocketing the tube as he did so. A small smirk appeared on the man’s face, flickering and disappearing to reveal the grinning face of the Spy. Now this was going to be fun.

+++

THE PLOT THICKENS.
HOHOHOO TO BE CONTINUED.

QUESTION MARK?

This is amazing. Spy is a genius and poor Sniper is so oblivious!

AUGH NO. Don't stop there. ; ; I'm not going to sleep one wink tonight.

Oooohh, dat wascally Spy.

Spy you tricky bastard you <3

Oh, Spy. So sneaky. Sniper's gotta take the hint!

Finally, an update.
Spy is such an asshole I can't believe it.

Oh god, I MIGHT HAVE SAW THAT COMING BUT IT WAS DELIGHTFUL ANYWAY.

HAHAHAH OH MY GOD YES!
Spy you sneaky french bastard. I can NOT wait for the update!

I'm grinning from ear to ear on this one, spy is so sneaky to get what he wants
And what a place to stop it at! Ahh, now I'll be dying til the next chapter's up

OH HO HO
Spy, you sly fox

OH MAH SPAHS

I can't tell who I like more in this fic, Spy or Sniper. They're both lucidly, beautifully illustrated, and the detail infused into their characterizations and their relationship is compelling enough so as to evoke awe. As a fellow writefag, I feel I can say that this is a very, very good fic.

Oh Sniper, you blind bastard.

gah you stopped the chapter before any sex, i am needing it <3

Oh damn it.
You made me grin maniacally and now my face is stuck.

There are two lines that had me rolling:

"He got pimp slapped by a shovel."
and
"Heck, it probably wouldn’t be surprising to anyone if the man sat down, pulled off someone’s pants and started jerking them off while screaming about how womanly their legs were and how they should stop crying like a girl getting dumped on her prom night."

Nicely done.

omg poor sniper, but hats a damn good tactic spy.

I feel treasonous, but I didn't enjoy this latest chapter as much as the earlier ones. Nothing wrong with grammar or anything, but it feels...abrupt? With glossed-over opportunities?

Maybe it only felt flat to me because Spy's method of discovery is too roundabout for what I perceive his character to be? I would think he'd be more "hands-on" - creating situations and observing how Sniper reacts to them. You know, like:
"Let me tie zat shoe for you."-Sniper vividly recalls dream-"Oh, what 'ave we here?" that sort of guy.

LOLSPY

>>106
"Let me tie zat shoe for you."-Sniper vividly recalls dream-"Oh, what 'ave we here?" that sort of guy.
... that could work. And be really, really hot. I mean, now that the seed has been planted in Sniper's head, he wouldn't really need that much of a push, right?

How could you stop on such an intriguing note!? Great plot thing you did there.
I hope next update wouldn't take so long.

"He got pimp slapped by a shovel."
I lost it...brilliant, really.

AND OH YOU SPAH.
Sneaky bastard...and I'm grinning like a total idiot now C:

Oh dear, i cannot stop laughing.

Your Spah is just...AAAGH I love'im!!!
Especially in the last part as Medic.

Please just GO ON!!!

He got pimp slapped by a shovel.
you just made my day.

I'm stuck with the others when it comes to grinning like an idiot while reading this. It seemed a bit too rushed, but at the same time it was still good. Plus there were few lines that were pure gold, most of them listed above.

I'm really starting to wonder what exactly it was that Spy broke that has Sniper still so pissed off...

>>114
Sniper's cherry, of course. *boom chik*
...sage for unforgivable stupid.

Ok, I have to mention this. After finally seeing the new episode of "Desperate housewives" I couldn't help but grin in the scene where Bree and her partner in crime... well, affair, are ready to have sex and she keeps complaining on how dirty everything is and that she can't do this in these conditions. And her partner responded that "after five minutes you'll forget about the dust" or something along this line. 'S just a hint. ;)

Please... continue.

this is always a highlight.

AWAITING UPDATE WITH BAITED BREATH AND UNZIPPED PANTS.

>>89

No question mark allowed.

>>89

THIS.
Would like more plzthx :D

>>119

lol! I wholeheartedly agree!

I-I... My mind has imploded

>>108

Exactly! Spy would get off on acting all innocent to piss off/arouse Sniper.

"...Oi, where'd you get that?"
*Slurps sucker before answering*
"From ze Scout. Ze boy has a fondness for sweets, oui?"
*Gulps, staring at the candy* "Well stop sucking it so loud, ya Spook."
"You prefer me to lick it, zen?"

Only better written then my garbage.

Loving this, guys <3. For some reason I hadn't read this fic yet...

>>124

|"You prefer me to lick it, zen?"

"Do you 'ave somezing better for me to suck, Sniper?"

hehehe...Flustered!Sniper is flustered.

Update, before the possibilities get out of hand!

OHOHO. NO I'M TAKIN' NOTES. Besides I can't update till I get my craptop back )': And I don't know how long that'll be.

>>127

Ack! Then we must wait. This will be difficult to wait for...I enjoy your story too much!

... get that 'craptop' back very very soon!

>>124
>>126

Haha, I'd like to see that!

>>127

I hope they fix it very fast and properly so we can have more of this beautiful fiction soon.

Mebbe Spy'll strike up a conversation about dream interpretation with someone when Sniper can't escape the room, hoping he'll reveal something.

Or maybe...
"Say Spook, 'ow many languages do you know?"
"Hm? Why ze sudden interest, mon Snipe?"
"Just answer the damn question, ya wanka."
"Well, if you are so eager;"*Sniper recalls dream, blushes madly*"First tell me why you are so curious about my talents with other tongues."

When my laptop was broken it took at least 3 weeks for repairs.
DDDDDD:
politesage

>>130

take out the "other" and it's pure gold.

>>130
I think "my talented tongue" would work better on the end.

>>132
>>133

You're both right - it would work much better that way. Damn Spy is a suave bastard.

Y'know, Sniper is eventually going to figure out what Spy did, and those two are already so aggressive towards each other. Maybe the discovery of the deception will lead to fight!sex.
Just think; Sniper is heavier and overpowers Spy. Clothes rip, Spy's jacket is immobilizing his arms, Sniper's yanking at his trousers - "Fuckin' Spook. Ya want me ta fuck ya? I'll teach ya, ya bastard."
Could be hot, and I think Spy would like to be screwed through the floor.

my good you are all genus's ^.^

>>135
You're right. We ARE all Homos.

>>135
Knock that emoting, passive aggressive bullshit off. Seriously. Sage for useless flaming that s/he probably won't read anyway.

Also, why are there so many suggestions as to what should have happened, or what should happen? It was kinda stated that Spy needed to piss around, just to find out if a wet dream was really about him. While speculation is awesome and rewarding, it comes off as faintly ridiculous. Then again, I frequent a fandom focused on shenanigans of men from a video game. Derp.

Excuse my generic rage. Awaiting continuation of this awesome-filled awesome.

>>137
'Cuz Azer's joking about taking notes provided subtle encouragement?
Sorry, I get over-enthusiastic sometimes. I'll stop now and wait patiently for laptop fixin's and updates.

my curiosity for what is going to happen next is going to explode at this rate, hopefully you can update this soon..

DO WANT MOAR PLEASE!!!

Azer: God... I’m so sorry for the long wait. After waiting too damn long for my laptop to return I decided to just rewrite everything. :/ Also I’m not sure if Rachos and I have actually vocalised this before but THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT! We really appreciate it.

Rachos: Yesss. Seeing everyone guess or suggest what is going to happen next and say if they’ve had blue balls or not makes me feel warm and tingly inside. Hopefully we won’t disappoint for this chapter~

Especially after the wait.

----

Spy’s original plan of disguising himself as Medic did not involve trying to convince Sniper to sleep with him at all. Not in the least. After running out of people to disguise as, Medic seemed to be a logical choice. A logical choice, but a last resort. Considering how often Medic was in his office, it was dangerous impersonating him in said office. However with the recent events and discovery of multiple wet dreams that Sniper had been having, the Frenchman found himself improvising. Even though he had said it was so Sniper could get it out of his system, it was really for himself. That stupid kiss and sudden increase of attraction to the man was driving him crazy to the point it would probably cost him a life a day. Now he had set up the perfect and possibly only opportunity to try and woo Sniper for a night. The sharpshooter may have left the ward in a pit of fury and extreme distaste on the idea but now that the seed was planted it would only be a matter of time before he would crumble and believe his advice.

Keeping the bottle of lube to himself, Spy removed his paper masked and quickly left the ward before the real Medic could enter the room. For a brief moment he had contemplated killing Medic for the day. Just a quick backstab, he wouldn’t feel a thing. But it was definitely too late to do that anyways. That and he’d have to suffer the consequences of an unimpressed, bone saw-wielding Medic in the morning. Not something he was willing to go through.

Now that he was exposed to the world again as his usual self, the assassin was seriously hoping that Sniper didn’t bump into Medic while he ran off. Such an occurrence could puncture a major hole in his plan. After all, his roommate was thick, not stupid. Even an idiot would be suspicious of running into a second Medic after coming out of the ward.

Seeing as it was still only half way through the day it was rather predictable that Sniper wouldn’t be heading to his van anytime soon. Even if it was their day off, Sniper wouldn’t want to stay in his van all day and night. He’d need some air to think about the idea the ‘Medic’ had left him with. That gave Spy time to prepare and think.

+++

“Jesus Christ what the fuckin’ hell is goin’ on around here?”

Sniper brought his hands down from his head, clasping them before him as he rested his elbows on his knees. Right now he was in the Sniping Battlements. The one last place that seemed to be his sanctuary. Considering that his other sanctuary was invaded and plagued by so many thoughts and emotions and cheesy Frenchmen, this was probably the last place where he could think. No one to barge in and ask him about if there was anything wrong, no one telling him to have sex with another man, no one to get on his nerves. Just him and the stillness of the world around him. That and his old mattress. He was sitting on it right now, inhaling its familiar musky fumes as he strained to think of what he could do.

What the hell was Medic saying? Get it out of his system? Fuckin’ bullshit. This wasn’t a disease or something. This was something that he could just fix with enough wanks, right? Just because Spy-

Spy’s lips were oddly moist tonight, leaving wet marks wherever he planted his lips on the naked lean body before him. Every kiss and touch from the man was simply intoxicating. He wanted more. With a growl Sniper flipped the man on top of him over onto the other side of the endless padded floor beneath them, taking the Frenchman by surprise. Grinning like a feral dog, Sniper dived on top of him, his hands and mouth now exploring…

Get a grip man, GET A GRIP! Sniper delivered a well earned mental slap to himself, trying to get his mind away from that sexual fantasy from last night. Why the hell was he thinking about this? Heck, what was he doing here, actually contemplating the idea? Real men didn’t sit down and fuck each other in bed. A penis was meant for a vagina, not an asshole. It was basic sex 101. Just because Spy was living with him didn’t mean that there was any need to nail him. The man was a neat freak, with everything running perfectly and in order. Heck, just because he was in nothing but that apron that one day, already-

Already they were into it. Spy was crying like a woman, holding onto Sniper’s shoulder as he was rammed over and over again. Every cry and moan sent shivers down the Australian’s spine, making him run a thumb over the single frilly pink apron that was clad on the man below him. The only bit of clothing that was separating them. Bending down and never changing pace, Sniper planted a rough over the crying mouth, saliva rubbing off onto his skin…

Goddamnit. No. Bad Sniper. BAD! This time he really slapped himself. Maybe Medic was right. Masturbation had done squat. He was tempted to try it again, but something told him it wouldn’t work. All that he could think of was the damn Spy and no one else. His mind was polluted. Simply polluted with lust. It wasn’t his fault though, right? Spy could be having the same problem for all he knew. Some nights he could hear the sleeping man mumble and sometimes even moaning-

Moaning, Spy slowly moved up and down, looking down at the man at his mercy. That corset of his shaped his body to seem so womanly. And there Sniper was, chained to the floor as Spy was riding his member like a bull. Moving his hips up and down slowly so that there was still that lovely tingle spreading through Sniper’s body, Spy leaned forward, licking and nibbling at an ear. Sniper let out a deep low moan himself as he found himself trying to fight the restraints to hold the body on top of him. All that he could do was bite onto the lean shoulder in front of him…

That was it. “Fuck it.” He mumbled, getting up and stalking out of the last place that he could think of his own private place. There was a fine line that he had to cross, and that was just it. With all these thoughts and emotions bubbling inside of him, he knew there was one solution.

He’d have to try and keep Spy away from him.

+++

Still flushing red with both rage and embarrassment after talking to ‘Medic’ an hour or so ago, Sniper entered his van. The quiet time alone in the Sniper deck had done the exact opposite of help as his mind had been filled with odd sexual fantasies, and he was still unsure on what he was going to be doing. Hopefully Spy’s actions would help him become more convinced that it was completely unnecessary to sleep with him.

Although the man looked calm enough fiddling with one of his cloaking watches at a bench when Sniper barged into his home.

“Don’t talk to me,” he spat the instant he saw Spy’s mouth open to say something. “Don’t even LOOK at me!” he quickly added, Spy’s head then quickly turning back to his watch obediently. Usually to have Spy be so quick to listen to his request would have Sniper smirk widely but he continued to stare daggers at the poor man as if he was guilty of undressing him with his French eyes.

---

Though being polite for a couple of seconds he knew that Sniper was clearly suffering from the seed he had planted in his head earlier. It was highly likely that the man had been spending all his time just thinking about him and the possibilities of what he could or should do. A sly smile made way to his face.

“You zeem… tense, mon ami.” His voice seemed deeper than usual as he turned back around to face Sniper, leaving the watch and screwdriver on the crisp white handkerchief he had been working on.

“I’m not bloody tense. I just need some time alone.” Sniper hissed back at him. Although it seemed weak; He had just came back from a long hour of ‘alone time’. Chuckling, the Frenchman leaned back on the bench gently.

“Your body says ozerwise…” His smile soon faded as the man shot him a very shocked and confused look, making a quick glance down to his crotch as if there was an abnormal growth or neon sign hung up around it.

“Your shoulderz. Zey are hunched up.”

“I said I’m fine!” One more time Sniper snapped as he walked over to his corner of the van and stared out the window, wondering what the hell was wrong with the world.

The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Of course Spy was calm and collected with the silence but he could see that the Sniper was a ticking sexual time bomb and could probably explode at any second. He just needed a little push was all… Standing up the Frenchman casually walked over to the other side of the van and leaned over the Sniper’s shoulder.

---

The sudden contact made Sniper freeze up.

‘Jesus Christ what the bloody hell is he up to now?!’ His thoughts went wild and due to all the thoughts his teammates had helpfully planted in his head, all of them pointed to Spy trying to make a move on him. As a silver case was displayed in front of him he saw a bunch of cigarettes being offered to him. He mouthed a silent ‘Oh…’ as he just stared at the lined papers. Feeling a little stupid, Sniper reluctantly grabbed one of the sticks and stuck it in his mouth. Quick to realize he had no lighter on him he turned to Spy.

“…light?”

The Spy gave a slight grin as he took out a stick of his own and took out his lighter. He moved his head closer to Sniper’s so that the two cigarette ends were touching. With a quick flick the lighter opened and slowly lit the two with the one flame. Just like that Sniper’s heart rate had gone double time, to calm then straight up to quadruple time. Why did he have to light it up like that? Sniper got so flustered that the cigarette in his mouth dropped right out and landed on his lap.

“Aw bloody hell.” He grumbled soon wincing at a short pain from a cigarette burn.

“Che. ‘Ow clumsy. Let me get zat…”

The man calmly kneeled down to pick up the cigarette carefully so his fingers wouldn’t make any form of contact on his pants. Sniper’s slight twitch at this ended up putting a pleasant smirk on Spy’s face that seemed wider than usual. The Australian’s face was getting all the more flustered as Spy started to chuckle while looking down at his region.

“What in God’s name are you laughing at?” His voice was a dangerous growl.

Spy looked up at him with the grin still showing on his face as he pointed down to where the cigarette had been and left a small hole in his pants. It was like a miniature glory hole… very miniature. As a reflex, Sniper’s hand whacked against his pants as if the material were still on fire. Or perhaps a brush of the hand would magically fix it. It was done a little too roughly as the cigarette burn caused him to wince again, letting out a steady stream of curses as he did so.

“Want me to kiss eet better?” Spy asked in his constant casual tone, his face still painted with that smug smile of his.

“No you bloody perv!” Sniper quickly spat and got up off his seat to find a pair of replacement pants.

Sniper couldn’t help but let out moans of pleasure as Spy kissed his upper thigh and teasingly over his hard errection soon taking in the head. His moist tongue rolled over the tip as his fingertips rubbed up and down the parts that weren’t yet in his mouth-

NO KNOCK IT OFF! Sniper dismissed the daydreams immediately. As he looked for the cleanest pair of pants on the floor, Medic’s advice constantly replayed in his head.

“I zink what you need to do is to get it out of your system.”
“Out of my system? How do you recommend I go about doing that?”
“You know. Just fuck zer man and zen it should be out of ze way.”

No... no he wasn’t going to follow Medic’s advice, even if it would be a onetime thing. He was much stronger and better than that. He wasn’t a poofter. After finally grabbing a new set of pants, Sniper unbuckled his belt and removed his pants.

“You are sure zat zere is nozing on your mind? You seem distracted today.”

Sniper flinched instantly as Spy was right behind him, having followed him like a loyal dog. As quickly as possibly he pulled on his next set of pants and turned around, fumbling with his fly and buttons the whole time.

“Why are you so concerned? And stop following me!”

Spy almost looked a little offended by Sniper snapping at him for being thoughtful. Frowning a little he took a step forward, standing well within Sniper’s personal bubble. “Because I want to be sure zat you are fine. You don’t zeem like yourself today.”

“Why!? Why do you care?! We hate each other.” He shouted at him.

“...I don’t.”

The room fell silent for a brief moment. It caught Sniper off guard and he felt a little happy to hear that. Fantastic! He could just whisk Spy onto his bed, fuck him like a rabbit, and then put this whole business behind him. End of story, happy ending. Well, if he were all for that. And yet, despite hearing that lone sentence… his resolve for being angry at Spy seemed to double tenfold for some reason. There was no reason for it. Absolutely no reason at all. But it didn’t stop his blood from boiling.

“...Well... Well I do! Now get out!”

“...Zat’s IT!” Spy’s face seemed to go from placid to furious in a heartbeat. In three quick strides he forcefully shoved Sniper and pinned him up against the wall of the bedroom. “Just because you ‘want to be alone’ doesn’t mean you can be an arsehole about eet. Now tell me,” his grip on Sniper’s arms tightened as he exhaled his nicotine tainted breath, “What. Is. Wrong?”

Even if Sniper wanted to tell him his problem, what the hell was he supposed to say? I can’t stop thinking about you and Medic thinks if we fuck that’ll make everything ok again? He gritted his teeth and kept his eyes locked with Spy’s.

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Really now?”

Spy had an expression on his face that just had ‘just who do you think you’re talking to?’ plastered all over it. This was the man who wormed out all the secrets on the BLU team on a daily basis, learning their secrets before backstabbing and shooting them in the head with a revolver. And Sniper was pretty much daring him to worm this dark sin of a secret out of him? What a laugh! Well, if he was going to tell him, he would tell on his own terms. Eye twitching, the marksman watched as Spy leaned in dangerously close, not being bothered at all at how their noses were almost touching.

“Alright you nosey spook! You wanna know what’s wrong with me?” He roared “You’re what’s wrong with me! I can’t focus. I can’t relax. I can’t even dream properly! Because you’re always in my fuckin’ head!”

To his surprise, Spy’s expression had changed to one that looked like he had just been slapped in the face. He murmured a small part of what he just heard, almost as if trying to absorb the information. Even though it was old news it still stung a bit. The bastard probably didn’t know any better judging from his reaction.

“Everywhere I go ya just seem to be there! It drives me insane! Jus’ because it’s your job to go and stalk people doesn’t mean you can stalk me, ‘right?! I can’t even escape from you when we are away from each other! Do you know how fuckin’ maddening it is?!”

The grip on Sniper’s arms began to loosen up.

“You happy now?”

Without even a response the grip from his arms were now completely gone and the man before him had turned around to leave the bedroom, and presumably the campervan. Like that. Pretty much giving Sniper victory over… whatever the hell he was fighting about. Pride worked wonders in that way. But for some reason, it seemed hollow. Rubbing at his wrist, he found himself dogging the Spy as he walked mournfully to the campervan door.

“Oi! Where’a goin!? You finally got something out of me and now you’re just gonna leave?” Sniper followed behind, unsure why on earth he was actually following the man instead of letting him go. Goddamnit he was having more mood swings than a high school girl.

“Zat is what you want, oui?” The spy quietly replied as he looked over his shoulder. His mouth twitched slightly into either a smile or a frown; it was impossible to tell.

“It was... But…” He was mentally kicking himself for saying this. “…no…” Spy gave him a curious glance. “It’s not what I want at all…”

Spy’s hand found the door knob. “Well, what do you want zen?”

Sniper gritted his teeth as he looked at the man fiddling with the door knob. They both knew what the answer to that really was, but Sniper was just too proud to even admit it. He moved closer but with care, just in case it would have Spy open the door faster.

“Don’t you… don’t you dare make me say it…”

That sly smile was working its way back to Spy’s face as he turned around. “You didn’t answer my question, mon Snipe.”

He growled. “You know... sometimes you’re just a real pain in my ass.”

The smile got wider, seemingly taunting the Australian as Spy slowly opened the door. “Yes, what else is new?”

Before Spy could Houdini himself out the exit, an arm quickly reached across and pulled the door shut again with surprising speed. For what must’ve been 10 seconds of silence felt like 10 minutes. Sniper could feel his grip on the knob grow tight, his knuckles probably white. But he didn’t see that. All he was looking at right now was Spy’s face. Eyes locked through his sunglasses.

“And I want you.”

The silence lasted for almost an eternity before Spy stifled a dry chuckle.

“I’m glad to hear it mon char...”

Sniper was expecting a bunch of mockery to come heading his way now for saying that. His head was faced down looking at the floor in an attempt to hide the face that couldn’t possibly get any redder than it already was. Why did he just say it? He should’ve just let the Spy go but his emotions were taking control of him. And what better are spies at than controlling emotions. What a stupid mistake.

“...because I want you as well.”

Sniper looked at him with a confused and shocked expression that slowly disappeared as he looked into Spy’s eyes again. He couldn’t believe it. And yet there was such an earnest expression on the Frenchman’s face beneath his mask, of such longing, that it seemed to prove that it was no joke. No mockery. Just pure honesty. With no other warning Spy just about pounced on him, sticking their faces together and starting quite a fierce mashing of the lips. It didn’t take long for the kiss to get more heated as they both opened their mouths to deepen it; Sniper eagerly opening his mouth to Spy’s prying and exploring tongue.

Sniper pulled the two of them away from the door and roughly shoved Spy against the other side of the van while still sharing their kiss. Hands were going everywhere as Spy’s fingers ran through Sniper’s short hair, making lovely musical noises into the Australian’s mouth as he slid up his own hands to partner’s chest in turn. It wasn’t long before Sniper found himself beginning to tug away at the suit and it’s many buttons, letting out an odd sort of growl as he fumbled with them with sluggish dexterity.

For a brief moment Sniper was expecting himself to snap back to reality. A mental slap was given to himself but nothing was changing. He was really doing this? He was really kissing Spy with such hunger and lust? It was really his hands that were snaking down to Spy’s waist and pulling it to his lower half? Hearing his own hungry moans intertwine with Spy’s to fuel this growing sensation between them? This was against everything he thought of as right but oh did it feel so good. The way those foreign hands scurried and caressed all over his body was simply intoxicating. He couldn’t stop. Sniper was now a man under a spell.

--
TO BE CONTINUUUUED.
I’m really sorry to chop it here- but honestly as I was getting into the rest of it, it was just waaaaay too long so Rachos and I decided to cut it here and put the other 4 pages into the next chapter.
Rest assured seeing as a lot of the next chapter is already typed up- it should be a day or two AT MOST to get the next chapter up here.

CRUELTY! What a way to end a chapter! Woo! But still, that CLIFFHANGER! ARGH! JUST when it gets this far X3

BEST THING TO WAKE UP TO, YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. Lighting their cigarettes together, all that leaning, Spy, you are sneaky. Aaand, this chapter just makes me so happy. It was sweet at the end and I am really excited to hear that the next update is coming soon.

Totally worth the wait! I adored how the confession was played out - completely in character for the both of them. I await the concluding chapter with eager anticipation.

you know you wanted to end it there :P but man this was flying -must reread ;d-, just a few more days for more! so excited <3

UPDATE, YES!
I think I've nearly bitten my lips away, but....oooh, it was just TOO awesome C:

BRAVO! MORE!

/me throws roses

Yer blue-ballin' us here, but it hurts so good.

FINALLY, YOU HAVE GIVEN US SOMETHING

My god, this is one incredible story. I personally love the Sniper-Spy dynamic here, how they both seem to simultaneously want each other and yet are always trying to best each other. It makes for some excellent storytelling and dialogue, both of which you have so adroitly provided. Proceed!

this is the best thing to begin a week with. and ahhh, chapter break. very well done! definitely looking forward to the next one C:

This is a good fic and you should feel good.

I hope you update soon, but for now I'm just happy that they finally got together.

I AM HAPPY SOUL

IIIIIIIII!

This made me so happy! Delicious unresolved sexual tension. And then: resolution! Yay!

FFFFFFFFFFFFF FUCKING AWESOME

Honestly, this just improved my Monday. BUT CLIFFHANGERS ARG. Cant wait for the next update.

Way to improve my monday, Azer! =D

Best Thanksgiving ever. I AM VERY THANKFUL.

But seriously. Loving the story so far, can't wait for more.

Bluest balls ever. Don't stop. Please.

Djavr's Real-Time Review:

Mm-hm.
Yes, Quite.
Oh lol.
Oh my.
Go on.
Go on.
Oh DO go on.
Ah?
Ahh?
...dammit.

Give me more, please. I need it.

I am expecting
"Thanks for the advice doc"
"...Vhat advice?"
and Spy is back to sleeping on the floor...

UNF. damn.
I bet you enjoy giving us all blue balls.

Goddamnit. No. Bad Sniper. BAD!
I can die happy now.

ARGH BLUE BALLS! I quite like Sniper's fantasies, though.

Wow....
Continue? Please?

The cigarette thing was SO CUTE. ILU GUYS SO MUCH, MOAR PLZ

...
God. I fucking love you. <3

OH HEY! I just saw what you did there with Sniper's fantasies, weaving them onto the last word he'd just thought. That is a GREAT trick and I'm going to keep it in mind and possibly steal the FUCK out of it some day.

Azer: DURHURHUR. Continued. RIGHT INTO THE SEX! –charges-

Rachos: COMMENCE BLUE BALL REDUCTION.

---

Spy gave that lovely grin of his on his face, pulling himself away from Sniper’s moist lips so he could briefly pull his gloves off with his teeth. He looked so mischievous, his eyes gleaming in the sunlight of the open windows. After carelessly tossing them to the side he snatched Sniper’s glasses off his face to get a better look into his own eyes. With a single glance the air grew far more humid than it normally would have been, cuing for a return into their intense make-out session. Every kiss Sniper delivered and received constantly stirred inside of him. His skin was singing with electricity, his heart was thumping at an impossible speed, and his stomach was tying itself in knots all at once. Probably once he felt like this in the past, and that seemed like such an eternity ago. Groaning softly into Spy’s mouth, he found his eyes close slightly, working from the cues of the body and face before him before he found himself kissing air.

Confused, he opened an eye, seeing the Spy now moving around to his jaw. A hand ran through his hair again as Spy gave him a small lick at the jaw joint, cuing for the Sniper to start kissing any part of exposed skin he could reach. The kisses soon moved from the mouth and progressed to a fine trail that went from Sniper’s jaw to his neck. Soft groans were let out into cloth and skin as each kiss let out a tingling sensation of touch that his body had been craving for a very long time. This was better than he could ever dream of.

Unable to contain himself in sitting back any longer, Sniper gained a firm grip on Spy’s shoulders and pushed him to lean back on the bench. Several items were knocked to the floor, including the watch Spy was working on just before. There was a small whimper of protest on the matter but Spy’s attention was quickly diverted to the rough hands that were in the process of stripping his jacket from his torso, their foreheads resting against each other’s.

“Haa...” Spy let off a slight moan as he began to assist in removing his jacket and shirt, then quickly proceeding to grab Sniper’s vest and slip it off. He leaned into the Australian man as he did so, his breath hot and rippling across the nape of his neck in such a taunting manner.

The instant both of them had discarded the clothes on their chests, Sniper quickly went back to kissing Spy. A hand snaked between Spy’s back and the wooden bench, another got a good grasp of his rear and picked him up from the ledge. In response a set of hands wormed their way around the man’s neck, giving him one last kiss before their owner lounged back leisurely in his arms, looking quite smug about the whole situation. Sniper took a few steps to try and carry him to the bed... not without accidently hitting Spy’s head on the doorway. Hard.

“ACK! Aïe!” The man writhed in the lean arms carrying him as he rubbed the offending spot.

“…… Sorry mate…” Even though he was still wearing a mask, the features that revealed Spy’s face were etched with resentment.

“What are you trying to do you imbécile? Knock me out!?”

“It was an accident.” He replied with no tone as he carelessly dumped him on the bed like a load of bricks, kicking off his boots casually as he did so. Already a bit disorientated by the knock, Spy went sprawling onto the thing, legs tangled and landing on his shoulder.

“Well you sure know how to be gentle...” Spy grumbled, his voice laced with sarcasm as he picked himself up. Sniper just couldn’t help but grin at Spy’s slight annoyance. Climbing on top of him, he trapped Spy between his arms as the man tried to gain his bearings again.

“Well you’re not a woman... unless you wanted to be treated like one.”

While Spy tried his best to hide a bit of anger in his face, he could almost represent a puffer fish as the hair on his arms rose up. He let out his pent up fury in a more productive way however, and grabbed Sniper around the torso to yank him down and flip their positions over; gaining the more dominant position and pinning his chest with one arm. The annoyed look was still vaguely on his face but he tried to hide it with a smirk as he forcefully kissed Sniper again roughly, letting his free hand run along the body before him, running fingers along every crease, curve, and bump. The longer they held together, the less aggressive Spy’s actions became until his brief flash of anger was over, kissing him as tenderly as ever.

“You didn’t really answer... Should I take that as a ‘yes’?” Sniper grinned after their lips gently parted again, his hands now fiddling around with Spy’s pants. Spy ran a finger down his jaw, tracing along his collarbone before pressing his hand behind the man’s back and leaning close to his ear.

“I thought you zaid you wanted me, not a woman.” He grinned and took small nips to his earlobe and rubbing the small of the man’s back.

The comment triggered one of Sniper’s instinctual thoughts. “Oi! I ain’t no bloody fag.” He growled.

Spy paused in his actions and simply blinked. Considering Sniper was just having an intense make-out session with another man, one would deem that right on the line of homosexuality. He looked down at Sniper’s wandering hands were and that smug little grin curled its way onto Spy’s face. Oh god, that smile. Why did he have to smile like that? Already Sniper could feel his neck getting warm.

“Really now?”

Not giving Sniper a chance to respond, Spy quickly snatched one of his hands and guided him in slipping it down into his loosened pants, granting him access to a free grope session. Sniper flushed almost as red as his uniform as he couldn’t help but feel around another man’s junk. With Spy’s leading hand he could feel all those familiar places that he had grown accustomed to seeing on himself all these years. Yes... this was very gay. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself up and Spy down onto his back, switching the tables of dominance once again. As he did so, he dimly registered the tightness of his pants. Oh well. He’d get them off soon. Right now his hands were busy.

Eagerly he began to run his fingers up and down Spy’s member which soon evolved into a proper grab with fervent pumps. That feeling of calloused hands around sensitive skin that probably hadn’t been touched by anyone else in so long probably would have been heaven.

“A-Ah!” Spy shot out a surprised moan from the forceful fondling. Sniper couldn’t help but grin. It was the reaction he had been hoping for. “Y-you zeem to be enjoying yourself zere.” A strained smirk was on his face as he tried to grab onto Sniper for support.

“I’m not the only one.” Sniper replied in reference to Spy’s strong erection as he proceeded to give the man a hand job.

Though incredibly distracted, Spy tried to fumble around with Sniper’s button and fly on his strained pants, pulling himself up and hooking his head into the nook of Sniper’s neck as he did so. His breath hitched every now and then as he tried to undress the man by touch alone. In the meantime, his own pants were being yanked down a bit further so Sniper could have easier access to continue pleasuring him. Already Sniper could feel the shaft twitching and writhing beneath his touch, responding to whatever movement he made. The more twitches, the harder and faster Sniper pumped. Already he could feel precum working its way into his hand and helping the act along. His eyes were agleam in ecstasy, feeling his own erection grow and grow with every stroke, moan, and jerk.

And then Spy snatched the hand at his loosened pants and yanked it away, forcing it down onto the mattress with his hand placed on top. Sniper could feel his muscles straining against the force on top of it, holding back a grumble of annoyance before he felt Spy’s hot breath against him again.

“Now, now... let us not be... zo ‘asty...” He whispered into his ear as he began to bite lightly on his neck and started sucking, granting him a few moans and groans on Sniper’s behalf. The noises he was getting out of this was very satisfying to the Frenchman as he smirked and bit down harder on another area of skin, leaving Sniper’s dirtied hand so that he could start to treat the Australian’s back and sides for a sinful touch.

Though very pleasurable indeed, Sniper tried to distract Spy by dipping his hand back into the pants continuing to move his hand up and down his shaft with a bit more speed. Eyes widened as Spy was caught off guard with the sudden pace in movement causing him to bite down a little too hard, drawing a bit of blood. Sniper winced and let out a small cry as his hand squeezed harder around Spy.

“NNNNNN!!” Spy’s teeth completely clamped down as a jerk reaction. Sniper was forced to let go of the man just in case he’d accidently cause him to rip some flesh from his skin. He stole a glance to his neck. While he couldn’t really see what had happened, he could see and feel the warm line of blood running down his neck and making its way down to his chest.

“Nggh. Bloody hell. I’m gonna have to get you for that.” He could feel something dancing behind his eyes while he said that. Yes, it was his usual anger, but there was something else. Something that was completely aroused about the sight of it all. And Spy…

“Well you don’t squeeze things like zat whenever you feel like eet, oui?” He replied with a glare as he licked the blood away from his lips.

Snipers eyes narrowed and both hands moved to Spy’s upper thighs, yanking off his pants completely. It felt like one of their usual arguments, but something else seemed to be added to the fire. “You started it.”

“Non, I believe you started it.” Now with both hands free, he started to unbutton and unzip Sniper’s pants, soon whisking them off and throwing them to join his pair of pants that were now discarded on the floor. Both now completely naked and wanting more. “Zo...” His hand snaked around under Sniper’s arm and to the back of his head to massage it, “Shall we?”

Sniper thought about it for a few seconds and was close to getting straight to it before remembering the lack of lubrication. Right at this point he was regretting not taking the lube from Medic earlier.

“Wait... I don’t have any... you know.”

Tearing himself away from the Sniper, he fiddled around with his pants on the floor grabbing the tube he brought with him from the ward.

“None of zis I presume?”

“... You were prepared for this weren’t you?” Sniper asked with a raised brow as he looked at the lube.

Spy flushed for a second before recovering. “Well, I AM a spy... and spies are meant to be... prepared... for anyzing...”

Actually Sniper didn’t like the sound of that. It made him somewhat concerned on whether or not Spy was very experienced in being fucked by other men but he soon ignored those thoughts and took the lube out of Spy’s hands and proceeded in squeezing the slippery liquid onto his cock while Spy spread it with his own hands. He allowed the man to jerk him off a little longer till he was good and ready. He lay on his back as Spy got himself into a proper position. This was it, they were going to do it right on the mattress that brought them there in the first place, the same one they had constantly fought and killed each other over. It was almost ironic. Spy ran a finger over the head one last time before straddling the man below him.

“Heh. Don’t be afraid to cry from what I’m about to do to you.”

Sniper let off an annoyed expression as he guided himself in and slowly began to move his hips upwards while Spy took most direction with moving himself up and down, grinding against the man. His eyes widened and he cried out at a forceful shove, doubling over and clasping himself onto Sniper’s shoulder like a support line.

Sniper let out a low laugh as his breathing started to get heavier. “Heh... Don’t be afraid to cry from what I’m doing to you.”

Gritting his teeth, Spy pushed himself back off the support and arched his back, resting his hands a bit behind him as he thrust himself down. Sniper couldn’t keep himself contained as a long series of groans and moans escaped his lips as Spy moved himself on him. The pleasure Spy was giving him was incredible and so much better than he could have imagined in his dreams. Every time Spy clenched, he would slide down and up, his breaths as hot as ever and his eyes misted over in the moment. After a while though Sniper had began to get frustrated with how little he could do in his current position. The gunman pushed himself up, interrupting Spy’s exhilarating movements and forcing him onto his back. Like a man drunk on lust he spread Spy’s legs apart and continued ramming into him with such speed and desire.

“A-aah-ah!” Spy was suddenly paralysed by ecstasy as he tried to grasp onto Sniper’s shoulder but it was quickly becoming too hard to even do just that. His eyes began to water at each push and shove as he cried out many words in the language Sniper didn’t understand. Adding more pleasure to the equation, Sniper’s hand moved down to Spy’s member and began to pump it. Automatically Spy’s legs wrapped around Sniper’s waist to pull him in closer and get more of his length, his hand clasping tightly onto the sheets as he writhed and did his best to move along with the man in charge. He bit down onto his bottom lip as he began to approach his climax. Sniper’s breathing was completely a-wall as with each thrust he could feel this amazing experience reaching its end.

“G-GAH!!”

Spy couldn’t take it anymore, his toes curled up and his back arched up completely as the white ooze spluttered forth onto his upper body. Sniper let go of him and leant himself forward, continuing until he soon let out a low groan and final thrust and coming inside the man. He stayed in the same position for a few seconds as he tried to catch his breath, soon pulling out of him and resting next to Spy in a panting heap.

“...You… you didn’t ‘ave to finish inside of me, you know…” Spy said in between some short breaths.

Sniper felt a little embarrassed for now having done that, but if Spy didn’t want him to he should’ve said something before it was too late... Though now he was beginning to wonder if maybe that was somehow offensive and he didn’t know, urgh Christ. The man tried to think of something to say, maybe an apology but he was too discomfited to muster any words. Spy easily noticed the inner turmoil Sniper was suffering and couldn’t help but grin at it.

“Che. You look so adorable when you blush, mon am.” He said leaning over to leave a small kiss on his nose. “Eet’s alright. Don’t worry about eet.”

The two of them shifted around the bed as Sniper wrapped an arm around the man, holding him closely as they lay in the spoon position. It didn’t take long before they both fell asleep.

---

To be continued hurhur

if i may : FUCKYE !!!!!

>>169
OH NOES, now I can't go to sleep, I have to read it!! But it will worth it, I'm sure.

This was pretty good, bro.

spluttered
Is this a real word?

What a wonderful thing to wake up to. You guys rock.

>>172
Lol well spellcheck didn't have a problem with it? 8D but if not; lets pretend it is and it fits very well with the writing. -shot-

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY.

>>174

I just looked it up. Yeah, it's a word. It's just one of those words that doesn't look like it /should/ be a word, but it is.

I'm going to make a mental note of that and try and use it sometime.

the best part of waking up, is bunk mates in your cup~!
and a tbc, oh how I look forward to it
wonderful job you two <3

oh buddy. That was hot.

Sniper’s breathing was completely a-wall
AWOL?

>>179
NO IT WAS LITERALLY A FUCKING WALL

>>175
FUCK YEAH!

As terribly hot and incredible as the sex was, I squealed like a little girl when the kiss on the nose happened. SQUEALED. Completely. I am such a sucker for post-coital cuddling.
You guys are wonderful.

I fucking love you, you just made my day. And my week too.

I wanna see when Sniper finds out about Medic~ 8D -excited-

>>182
THIS

To be continued? What else is there to add? I thought everything was working up to the sex, so what comes next, the awkward morning after? Don't get me wrong though, I'm quite atwitter with anticipation at whatever you dish out next.

>>185
I'm still curious as to what it was that Spy broke in the beginning of the story
Plus what (if anything) is gonna happen after the shipment arrives with the replacement bed and they aren't forced to be together, hehe. C:

Hell that was HOT.

“Oi! I ain’t no bloody fag.”
Ha! As if. >83

Heh... I love you.

Though now he was beginning to wonder if maybe that was somehow offensive and he didn’t know, urgh Christ.Sniper's such an awkward fag, it's adorable <3

so what comes next
More sex.

can't express well enough how happy this makes me, and it is going to have more after the fact too? i am so pleased ;]

You just made my day un-suck. <3

Spy whimpering
HNNNNNG I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY THAT TURNS ME ON SO BAD BUT IT DOES
10/10, I FUCKING CAME BUCKETS

Azer, Rachos, I would make sweet, sweet love to the both of you. And then marry you (fuckyear polygamy). And then treat you right forever.

Love this fic so much.

>>183
hey hey hey, there's already a Jay here.

you guys represent all that in good in the world.
This fic is better than kittens!

g-god...I love whimpering and tearing up and crying during sexytiems. It's so fucking hot you wouldn't believe...

crap, I need to mop up this drool before I start an electrical fire...

Yes! Finally! <3
I can't even pick one favourite thing. Never stop, plzthx.
>>186
I'm having a wild guess that it might be one of those ship replicas. It's easy to picture Sniper while he's trying to put another element in the bottle, going all "Steady... steady...". Or maybe something built from matches?

seriously amazing and I love you guys even if this means my assignment will be late, don't care ^.^

>>196
I can see it too, and the image is giving me the giggles: Sniper in his nest with his tongue poking out a bit like kids do.

I have waited for this day...for days.
I am a happy soul.

Also:
>>179 >>180
FFFFFFFFFFFFF.

>>193

D: sorry, had no idea. that's what I get for skimming comments ^^;

>>200
No prob, broseph!

Sage because I have no contribution other than really looking forward to more of this fic :C

HNNGG this is really good. Really well written.

AND IT'S GONNA CONTINUE!?!?

Hail the Fic Gods!

I love this and I love you, just thought you guys deserved to know!
-waits for next update-

you got a few more days, and then a week of no update will pass, continue onto your next part soon please!

FFF. UPDATE SOON, GAISE?

Bump so no one forgets how amazing this is.

>>207
it's already gone into autosage so it wont bump, sadly

dang. that's not good. i hope they update soon though.

This ought to be reposted.