Contrary to popular belief, I also write fic in addition to filk. This was inspired by an entire Friday night spent playing Prop Hunt.

*~*~*~*~*

Medic put down his pen and tucked the papers back into their manila folder. He stepped away from the desk and returned the medical records of his team back onto the shelf. A glance at the clock on the wall informed him he had missed lunch by a good couple of hours, but he could still make it in time for the afternoon coffee brew if he hurried. Tidying up his desk and cleaning up his workbench, Medic emerged from the infirmary and made his way into the rest of the massive structure that hid Reliable Excavation Demolition’s missile operations at Fastlane.

The RED team was holding all of the key control points for now. It had taken nearly a month’s hard fighting to occupy the buildings that had belonged to Builders League United and capture their rival mercenaries, who by the time the final offensive push was made had retreated all the way back to their resupply locker and were huddled together, their hands thrown up in surrender. Since then the BLU prisoners had been shipped off to RED company headquarters, and an uneasy silence had settled over the complex. As RED suspected, BLU had been using their stolen intelligence from Well to recreate the surface-to-air missile they were hiding in the back of their milk processing plant, and would have finished had RED not made the final offensive push to capture their headquarters.

Curiously, orders from RED instructed that the near-finished BLU missile not be destroyed, and also warned them that before the end of the month BLU would return to recapture their machinery and their secret weapon. Soldier spoke daily of rumors that the Builers League United were planning a massive rocket-based counterstrike, and that RED would be sending reinforcements any day now, but for the past week neither seemed to materialize. So standing orders from Soldier—as much as they were heeded by anyone on the team—were to stay on their twinkle toes and be prepared. So far, that had meant a lot of lounging around in the afternoons for everyone but Engineer, who always seemed to be occupied with maintaining the perimeter of sentries around their new holdings.

Even by usual ceasefire standards, Medic noticed that the RED base was unusually quiet. He hummed to himself as he walked, his bootheels clicking against concrete and metal as he gazed at the great missile that stood over RED’s final control point. He had questioned Engineer about it—what was Reliable Excavation Demolition doing with an anti-air missile? The Texan had merely shrugged, and pointed out that the last letter in RED did stand for “demolition,” after all. Demoman had gazed at the missile warily with his one eye, wondering who would win in a match of explosive power. Medic did not have his money on the Scotsman.

Wondering where the rest of RED team had got themselves to, Medic was making his way down to the first level of the silo when he noticed something curious about the stack of oil drums they normally stored beneath the ramp. They had moved some of BLU’s resources there as well—all they could fit in that corner, which was quite a lot, but something looked different from the last time he had looked. Pausing, Medic peered through the metal grating to get a better look, and then rushed down the rest of the way to the suspicious arrangement.

“Heavy! Vhat on earth do you sink you ah doing zhere?” Medic folded his arms across his chest, glaring at the shoulders that were protruding from behind a row of blue barrels.

“Ssh!” Heavy cautiously brought his head into view, holding one finger in front of his lips. “Be quiet, Doktor, or they vill find me!”

“Zhey? Who are—“

“Ssh!” said Heavy again, his eyes darting back and forth to the entrances of the room, checking for movement. He beckoned Medic to come behind the barrels, squeezing himself further beneath the ramp and into the shadows. “Come, come! I explain to you!”

Medic considered refusing, and probably would have if not for the urgent and pleading look in Heavy’s eyes. Whatever it was that Heavy did, it must have been something serious for a man as reckless him to be driven to hiding like the Spy.

“All right,” Medic grumbled reluctantly, looking around to make sure nobody else had entered the room. He did his best to climb over the drums in a dignified manner. There was not much space left for him to fit next to Heavy, and he had to duck his head to avoid banging it. “Vell zhen? Vhat is it? You bettah have a good explanation for zhis!”

Heavy blinked. “I do nothing wrong,” he replied slowly. Then a devilish grin crossed his face. “Ve are playing game.”

“Game?”

“Hide and Seek game. Now leetle Pyro is it, she have to find us.”

“Hide und Seek?"

"Da."

Medic took a deep breath, but that didn’t stop the onslaught of the tirade that was already bubbling out. "HIDE UND SEEK?! You ah playing Hide und Seek?! Vhat idiot decides to play a schtupid game like zhis vhen ve ah supposed to be defending zhe control points?! BLU has used our intelligence to build a missile just across zhe compound, and you ah playing Hide und Seek?!”

“Ssh! Doktor, please!” said Heavy, his brows furrowing as he desperately tried to placate Medic into lowering his voice. He looked a little hurt that the doctor had called the game stupid and accused him of being an idiot. “But everybody is playing!”

Medic raised an eyebrow and lowered his voice. “Everyvone?” he asked suspiciously.

Heavy nodded. “Da.”

“Demoman, he is playing?”

Heavy nodded again.

“Zhe Snipah too?”

“Da.”

“Even zhe Spy?”

“He said this his favorite game to play,” Heavy replied, lifting his shoulders in a shrug.

“Of course he vould,” Medic muttered darkly. “Und how do you find zhe Spy? He has his invisible cloak.”

A slow grin spread across Heavy's face, his entire expression lighting up. “Spycheck," he answered. "Pyro is it this round. If Spy not vant to be on fire, he should not be invisible!”

Medic could not help grinning along with Heavy as he envisioned Pyro approaching a dark corner with her flamethrower, suddenly setting aflame the transparent silhouette of the cheating Frenchman. He would be the one stuck treating the resulting burns, of course, but just knowing that the Spy had run about the base yelping, set on fire by a teammate for attempting to cheat at a child’s game was more than enough reward for his medical services.

“Ah, I vould love to see zhat,” Medic said with a wistful sigh.

Heavy cocked his head to the side. “Zen Doktor playing game vith us too?”

“Vell,” said Medic, weighing the possible amusement of watching his teammates run about on fire with the possible indignity he would have to suffer finding a hiding spot. In the end, the fire won out. “Maybe just for a little vhile.”

Heavy beamed, obviously pleased. “Doktor found me vithout trying, so ve can hide together since game already start.” Heavy slung a friendly arm about Medic’s shoulders. “Zis good place to hide if ve stay quiet.”

Medic sighed. “Vell, just zhis vonce,” he said, deciding that since he had gone through the trouble of squeezing in their small hiding place, it would not be wise to leave and risk bumping into the Pyro—or worse, the Pyro's flamethrower—by accident. The girl was almost as sneaky as the Spy when she wanted to be, and Medic did not relish the prospect of walking right into a flaming surprise. Heavy was right, this was a pretty good hiding place. Anyone walking through the room would probably not think bother to check beneath the ramp and behind the stack of barrels, though anybody staring down at them from the upper floors might get a glimpse of them through the grating.

“Duck your head lower,” Medic said, eying a line from the top of the drums to the top of Heavy’s head. “I sink zhey can see you.”

“Oh.” Heavy hunched his shoulders and lowered his head, trying to tuck himself beneath the rim of the barrels. “Like this?”

“Ja,” Medic replied. “A little lower.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Heavy spoke. “This not comfortable, Doktor. This hurt my neck.”

“Zhen lean back and lie on zhe ground.”

“Okay.” Heavy acquiesced, slowly lying his bulk down, the ramp rising from the floor near his feet. He scooted a bit to make himself comfortable. “This is better.”

“Hm,” Medic grunted, thinking that Heavy wouldn’t have to assume such an awkward position if he hadn’t chosen such a small space, for two people no less. “Ah you comfortable now?”
Heavy shrugged from his spot on the ground. “I vill be fine.” He shot his medic a small smile, but Medic only responded with silence. Then a thought occurred to him.

“How long did you say zhat you have been playing zhis round?”

“Ah, Doktor found me just after ve start. Not long.”

“And how long did zhe the last game last?”

Heavy paused a moment to think. “A vhile. Fastlane is big, many places good for hiding.”

“So vhat you ah saying is zhat it vill be a long time.”

Heavy frowned. “Is Doktor too busy to play game?”

“Nein," Medic replied. Now that he was already here, he might as well sit it out until they were found. "I am just taking a break from verk.”

Heavy nodded, and then patted the ground beside him. “Vell, if we stay quiet, I think ve can talk. Pass time. Make hiding not so boring, da?”

Medic stared at the spot next to Heavy. It wasn’t so much a place beside him as the space that Heavy’s arm and shoulders were already occupying. To even fit between Heavy and the row of drums, Medic would have to be lying next to him with his head on Heavy’s shoulders. Compared to the way that Medic was currently crouched, wedged in on all sides between the barrels and Heavy, it seemed the wise alternative.

“You just vant to lie vith me again, don't you?” suggested Medic slyly, as he relented and moved carefully to lie down.

Heavy looked hurt. “I think no such thing,” he protested, though Medic’s words did not seem to stop him from curling his arm around his waist. Heavy chuckled. “Okay, maybe a leetle.”

Medic sniffed. “Vhen you are not sinking about var, zhen you are sinking about sex. I should have known.” He turned onto his side and draped an arm about Heavy’s stomach. “Zhere. Now ve are even.”

Moments of comfortable silence passed. Heavy had closed his eyes, and Medic was going through a mental list of all the things on his to-do list for the day that he hadn’t finished yet: going over the plans for a new type of Medigun with Engineer, dissecting the brain specimens he had gathered from some of the fallen BLU mercenaries, concocting more ammunition for his syringe gun—one could never have too much ammo.

“Doktor?” said Heavy, breaking the silence.

“Mmm, ja?

“Do you think that BLU team vill come back soon?”

“Zhey alvays come back. I sink Soldier may be right for vonce when he says zhat zhey ah preparing to come back.”

This made Heavy think for a while. “I vould not like to be a prisoner of BLU,” he confessed finally.

“Neezher vould I,” Medic said. “I hope zhe Announcer vill be sending zose reinforcements soon. It vill be hard to protect zhe whole place if even vone of Herr Engineer’s sentries fall.” Medic lapsed into silence for a bit. “I sink it vould be smart to do more spy checks. Ve should mention zhis at zhe briefing meeting tonight.”

“Da," Heavy agreed. He gave Medic's waist a pat. "Doktor alvays has such good ideas.”

“Zhat vas just common sense,” Medic replied, though he always felt pleased when Heavy complimented him. He was, after all, the brains behind their team’s killer combination. If not for him directing Heavy and watching for enemy spies and snipers, they would not have survived as they did to take Fastlane from BLU. “But sank you.”

“You’re velcome,” Heavy replied.

The conversation once again lulled, and minutes of silence passed as Medic listened to the beat of Heavy’s heart, feeling its rhythmic pumping through the blood flowing in his axillary artery. It had always impressed him how much damage Heavy managed to sustain in their battles, how many bullets his giant body could take with the help of the healing vapors of the Medigun. Even after losing blood in such volumes, Heavy was never down in the infirmary for more than a day before making a full recovery. Heavy claimed it was because he had such a good doctor.

Occupied with thoughts of his Heavy, Medic found his hand beginning to wander. He admitted to himself that he rather enjoyed the hush of the ceasefire and the little luxuries—like research and coffee—that were denied him whenever they were caught in the midst of a battle. He did miss the adrenaline rush of the fighting and the thrill of certain death if he or his team made even one misstep, but he didn’t mind the sudden quiet, and he certainly didn’t mind spending a portion of his afternoon with lying with Heavy, even though they were on the floor and wedged beneath a metal ramp. It was not something they could normally afford to do.

“How long has it been?” Medic asked lazily, his gloved hands slowly rubbing circles on Heavy’s stomach. “Zhey ah sure taking zheir time in finding us.”

“Maybe this is better hiding place than I thought,” Heavy suggested. He craned his neck trying to see over the rim of the barrels, but it was impossible to get a good look from his vantage point.

“Maybe too good,” Medic said, also trying to get a good look, but not seeing anyone. He laid his head back down on Heavy’s shoulder.

“They probably give up eventually,” Heavy said. “Ve should vait for their surrender.”
“Und hope zhat Pyro doesn’t decide to burn zhe whole building down looking for us,” Medic said ominously.

Heavy chuckled. “I think leetle Pyro knows better than that.”

“Sometimes you can never tell,” Medic replied. They had all been fighting together long even to trust each other to perform their roles properly, but it was always hard to predict what Pyro would do when there wasn’t any fighting or burning to be done. Over the past few days she had seemed more anxious than she usually was.

Resigned to waiting, Medic decided that he at least ought to occupy himself in a more interesting fashion. He let his hands wander a little further down Heavy than he would have usually deemed proper in a public room. He drifted below the waistline of Heavy’s pants, placing his hand around the only thing the large Russian man was not trying desperately to hide.

“Vhy, Doktor, I did not think you vere that bored,” said Heavy, as the corners of his lips curled up into a grin.

“Und I didn’t sink just lying beside me vould be such a turn on,” said Medic, a predatory smile crossing his features. He gripped the outline of Heavy’s erection with his hand and squeezed, slowly moving up and down his length. “Zhis feel good?”

“Da,” replied Heavy, nodding his head and closing his eyes with satisfaction. "Good.”

Encouraged, Medic gave him another squeeze and continued, finding that he was beginning to draw deeper breaths as his own body responded to Heavy’s arousal.

“Mmm,” Heavy sighed, a deep roll of thunder that rumbled in his chest. "This feels very good."

“Ssh!” hissed Medic, quickly withdrawing his hand, and placing a finger on Heavy’s lips. “Vhat did you say earlier about being quiet, hmm? Ve mustn’t get caught like zhis, or vhat vould zhe team think?” There was a little too much gleeful excitement in his voice for him to truly be concerned about being found. He shivered as he imagined taking Heavy’s cock into his mouth as Sniper and Scout stared at them in silent horror. Medic shivered, finding the possibility of an unexpected audience surprisingly thrilling. “So ve must be very, very quiet. Understand?”

Heavy nodded, his eyes widening as he realized just how compromising his current position was, and how helpless he was against his dear Medic’s advances if the doctor wanted to take advantage of him. Not that he would even try to resist the sort of things that Medic had in mind. It was a lazy afternoon and they were well-hidden. Heavy took hold of Medic’s hand by his wrist and guided it back down to his pants, which were now feeling much tighter than just a few moments before.

“Please continue, Doktor.”

Medic grinned. "Sehr gut," he purred, and wrapped his fingers around Heavy's cock again.

It was a close fit beneath the ramp, and closer still as Medic pushed himself up to his knees, straddling Heavy's legs. Medic had a way about him whenever he undid the zipper on Heavy's trousers. He always did a cursory examination, like a child meticulously examining all the corners and sides of a mysterious, wrapped gift. It was almost a ritual, performed with the utmost attention to detail and carefully arranged so as to elicit maximum arousal. Heavy felt like it was about to time to initiate the zipper protocol, and conveyed this to Medic with a grunt, and by moving his hands toward his fly.

"Vait," Medic ordered, batting Heavy's hand out of the way. "Vhy so impatient, mein liebe? Did you not say it vould take a vhile?" Medic pushed Heavy's shirt up and bent to press a kiss to his tummy, just above the button of his trousers. He blew breaths of warm air across Heavy's skin, stirring the dark hairs of his pleasure trail. "Vhatever shall ve do to occupy zhe time if ve finish early, hm? Ve might even have all afternoon..." Medic took a moment to place both of Heavy's hands palm down, on the concrete. "If you move zhese vithout my permission, I vill make sure zhe torture lasts for hours. Have I made myself cleah?"

His eyes wide with dread, Heavy nodded, and seemed to stay very still.

"Now, vhere vere ve?" Medic patted one of Heavy's hands reassuringly, and bent down again, giving Heavy a nip on the stomach. The man twitched, but did not move beyond that. Smiling, Medic moved lower, nipping and sucking on the skin, dragging his lips downward over Heavy's stomach and toward his waistline, all the while stroking Heavy's cock with an achingly slow rhythm. He moved up and down several times, each time drifting closer and closer to putting his lips over Heavy's erection, but always moving away again at the last minute.

"Doktor..." Heavy moaned, as loudly as he dared. He lifted his head, and gave Medic a pleading helpless look.

Medic smirked in answer, and decided that maybe it was time he gave his Heavy a small reward for his endurance. There was already small wet spot forming on Heavy's pants. With a flick, he unfastened the button, and then crouched all the way down, taking the zipper of Heavy's fly between his teeth and pulling down.

"Ooh," Heavy let out a great sigh as he felt the constriction of his trousers falling away, though his arousal got no more attention as Medic peered at it, a wry smile on his face.

"Excited, ah ve, hmm?" Medic murmured, mostly to himself, as he noted the liberal spot of precum that had soaked through Heavy's briefs. "But I sink ve should have a little fun first, don't you agree, mein Heavy?"

Heavy nodded quickly. He didn't have much of a choice if Medic had already decided he still wanted to play with him.

Medic lowered his head, sliding backwards to settle into a comfortable position. He slid Heavy's pants down as far as he could, settling them around Heavy's thighs before he went back to work. He started by licking the drop on the soft cotton cloth, dribbling saliva down his tongue as he spread the wetness of his and Heavy's fluids, tonguing the giant Russian's frenulum through his underwear. He moved down, slowly soaking the fabric as he made his way down Heavy's shaft. Every so often he would pause and give Heavy's damp member a gentle nip through the cotton, tugging on the fabric a little where it stuck closely to Heavy's cock. It seemed to take a long time for Medic to make his way down to the bottom, where he finished with a flourish by grabbing Heavy's balls and giving them a firm squeeze. Heavy's hips made a reflexive thrust, and Medic put a gentle hand on his stomach. He admired his work for a moment, gazing at the veins of Heavy's arousal straining against the white, wet cloth, and then took his sweet time making the return trip, nibbling his way back up. Medic stopped again at the head of Heavy's shaft, and surprised the man by taking the entire tip into his mouth, damp underwear and all. Heavy trembled, biting his lip to keep from making a sound while trying to keep both his hands still on the ground, where Medic had placed them.

Medic looked up, the tip of his tongue lifting off of Heavy's cock as he gazed at the man, his eyes squeezed shut, his body trembling. It was incredibly erotic, and Medic felt his patience beginning to slip. His own erection would be needing some attention soon, but he summoned the fortitude to keep him another round of toying.

"You vant to say something?" Medic asked, giving Heavy's tip a light kiss.

Heavy shook his head, afraid to speak should the doctor reprimand him.

"Vhy don't you tell me vhat you vant me to do," whispered Medic. He grasped Heavy's cock and began pumping it slowly. "Tell me, quietly. Very, very quietly."

Heavy's lips moved, but no sound came out.

"Vhat vas zat?"

"I-I vant..."

"Ja?" Medic smirked, leaning over to rest his chin lightly on Heavy's stomach, an evil glint in his glasses. "You vant me to vhat?"

Heavy shuddered as the pumping motion of Medic's hand quickened pace, and he took a few deep breaths before finding enough concentration to answer.

"Doktor, I vant you to suck me," he managed, his voice barely a whisper as it rushed out in a breath. "Please," he added, and then closed his eyes again when Medic's hand snuck beneath the elastic band of his underwear

"Ah, zat is just vhat I had in mind," said Medic. He peeled away Heavy's wet briefs and tugged them down and out of the way. Medic could not help but to lick his lips as he observed the clear precum still gathering in a drop at the opening of Heavy's urethra.

Taking the cock into his hand, Medic brought it to his mouth, enveloping the head and swallowing as much of it as he could. And then he moved, varying his rhythm, moving his hand up and down the bottom of Heavy's shaft as he bobbed his head over the top, his tongue seeking Heavy's frenulum on every pass.

"Oh," Heavy groaned, craning his head up to watch, gritting his teeth against the instinct to put a hand on Medic's head and bury his fingers in his hair. "Doktor,' he gasped. He jerked his hips up again, but Medic did not seem to mind, as he moved a hand to Heavy's balls and began stroking them in time to the pumps of his other hand. "Doktor...my hands..." said Heavy, trying again when his breath was cut off by a deep rumbling groan when Medic pressed a thumb against his perineum.

"Ja, okay," Medic replied, around a mouthful of cock.

Heavy let out a sigh, and lifted a hand off the floor to brush Medic's cheek, before settling on top of his head. Medic choked with the added weight, but continued silently, his tongue alternating between spreading precum over the head of Heavy's cock and licking the underside of his shaft.



“Oooh,” Heavy sighed, the only indication he managed to give before his stamina gave in, and he came in shuddering waves, his chest heaving and quivering with each breath. His head fell back onto the floor as he released the pressure his medic had spent so long building up.



Medic used the thumb of his glove to wipe the corners of his mouth. He’d swallowed what he could, but pool of milky liquid lay at the bottom of Heavy’s shaft, overflow from what he hadn’t been able to catch. Having no other convenient way to clean up, Medic licked the remains of Heavy’s seed, tonguing the Russian man’s shaft to make sure he got every drop. Then he lifted his head and looked about the room quickly, before ducking beneath the rim of the barrels again.



“Good,” Medic said. “Ve do not have an unintended audience. Yet.”

Heavy managed to nod weakly. He could tell from the wolfish grin on Medic's face that the fun was far from over.


"I sink ve vill have to do somesing about zhis before ve ah done," said Medic, touching himself through his trousers.


"Definitely," Heavy agreed, placing a large hand over Medic's gloved one. His fingers were surprisingly deft for their size, or maybe that was just due to all the practice he already had unbuttoning Medic's fly. A swift tug brought Medic's pants—underwear and all—down around his knees. Heavy felt himself beginning to stir again from the sight of the Doktor's naked arousal, and reached up to take it in his hand.

"Vait," Medic said. He scooted forward, pressing their pelvises together, one hand planted against the ground to prop him up as he leaned his weight against Heavy. The other hand he wrapped around Heavy's cock, fully awakening it with slow, firm touches. Then he moved even closer, lining up their erections together, and gathered them both in his hand.

"Ooh," Medic sighed, his eyes closing as his hand began to pump. He let Heavy's hand move to close over his to take over the job. Medic thrust his hips forward with another moan. They were both beginning to sweat, the fans at RED base not doing enough to keep the two heated bodies, pressed so closely together, cool on a hot desert day.


Their cocks slid against each other, slippery with semen and some spit that Heavy had dribbled on his hand. It was difficult to thrust without losing contact with either Heavy's fingers or his erection, so Medic opted to rock back and forth instead, trying to find a rhythm that matched the motion of Heavy's hand.

It was hard to remember to keep quiet, and even in the wooden structure there was a bit of an echo that bounced back to Medic's ears, his own lust-driven voice gasping for more. He stopped worrying about staying hidden, he stopped worrying about the team, the mission, the company, and all he thought about as the primal instincts took over his body was cumming all over Heavy's fingers, his stomach, and their cocks rubbing together. He almost screamed at Heavy when the man slowed—almost stopped—his pace, his eyes snapping open as he glared at the man below him, daring him to find a good reason for denying him his orgasm for that much longer.

Now it was Heavy's turn to smirk. "Doktor vouldn't vant it to end so quickly, vould he?" He gave their cocks two stiff jerks as he waited for Medic's answer.

"You vant me to vait for you?" Medic panted, once he'd cleared his head enough to speak without shouting.

"I'm making you vait for me," Heavy replied evenly. He gave their cocks another jerk to emphasize his words. "You don't have choice."


Medic was about to make a retort, something about him being the one in charge here, but Heavy silenced him effectively by giving them both a squeeze followed by a thumb rubbing across the head of their cocks. He went straight into a maddening pace, and all of Medic's words instantly dissolved into moans. He bit his lip trying not to cry out, but it was no use—he was rather vocal by nature, and though he was sure that all of Fastlane had probably heard them by now, he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. He was dimly aware that Heavy was close too; the man wasn't holding back at all, and had just laid his head on the ground, grunting with each stroke. The rest of the team could have been peering at them from over the rim of the barrels or through the metal ramp, and he wouldn't have noticed.

But it was the thought of getting caught that finally sent him over the edge, the thought of everyone's jaw dropped, maybe even some of them secretly enjoying the spectacle that made Medic come hard, arching his back and shuddering almost violently. There was liquid warmth covering his cock, hard to tell whether it was his own, or whether his cum had mingled with Heavy's. He was still shaking a little when it was over, and he looked down to find that indeed Heavy had come too, a bemused expression on his face as he licked his fingers.

"Vhat's so funny?" Medic asked.

Heavy shrugged. "Nothing," he replied lazily, but offered his hand to Medic.

Medic looked at him for a moment before he took Heavy's fingers and licked them clean—their combined taste not terribly different from their tastes individually. Medic returned the favor by wiping up the rest of the semen on his stomach and Heavy's and offering his hand back to the Russian, who licked it carefully, ending the job on each digit by nibbling on the ends of his gloved fingertips with a snap of rubber.

Medic smiled, immensely satisfied. He leaned down, propping himself up on Heavy's expansive chest. Heavy smiled in return, reaching a hand up to cup Medic's cheek fondly. Normally, the gesture would have elicited a chorus of "eww's" from the team had they been around, but instead there was just silence.

"That vas vonderful, Doktor," Heavy said finally.

"Ja," said Medic with a nod. "Einfach wunderbar."

They kissed, letting the echoes of their fantastic fuck fade in the beeps and whirs surrounding the building. They straightened their shirts and pulled up their trousers.

"I vonder vhere zhe rest of zhe team is," Medic said, poking his head above the edge of the barrels. Another visual sweep of the room revealed no hidden peeping teammates.

"Maybe they not come," said Heavy, not sounding particularly disappointed.

"How long has it been?"

"A...A vhile," Heavy replied.

Medic raised an eyebrow. "A vhile."

"Da, a vhile."

"Long vhile or short vhile?"

Heavy had to think for a moment. "Medium vhile?"

Und you have been playing since vhen, again?"

Heavy paused. He suddenly couldn't remember whether he had told Medic they'd been playing since the morning, or just the afternoon.

"I knew it!" Medic hissed, when the silence had dragged on for too long. He pointed a finger at Heavy. "You..."

Heavy tried to keep a smile from spreading across his face, but was unsuccessful.

"You...you tricked me! Zhere is no game of Hide und Seek is zhere?"

Heavy smirked, shaking his head. "Nyet. Doktor has figured it out."

"You made it all up just so you could—"

"Have sex in base?" Heavy asked. He nodded. "Da."

Medic seemed at a loss for words at Heavy's simple admission. He sputtered for words.

Heavy leaned in close with a sly smile. "But you enjoyed it anyway."

"Vell, ja, but..."

"Then is okay," said Heavy. "Good break from boring vork. We vill do this again sometime soon."

Medic folded his arms across his chest with a harrumph. "Ja," he said tersely. "Ve vill have to do zhis again. But I get to pick vhen and vhere."

"Of course, Doktor."


THE END