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No. 6191
"And not a moment too soon. I was beginning to loose my patience. Let us begin." Should be "I was beginning to lose", etc.
I malevolent smile spread across the RED's lips, tapping the nail on the back of the chair. "A malevolent"...
Other notes that are more of personal preference: 1) See if you can take out the "-ly" adverbs. You do use them sparingly (ha!) enough, but if you're writing for something like NaNoWriMo then replacing "-ly" adverbs with more descriptive text at least boosts your word count. 2) Eliminate the written accents. We already know what the classes sound like and can fill in with our imaginations, and those that don't can be informed via quick throwaway lines about the Spy's outrageous French-ness and/or the Sniper's thick, almost Cockney-sounding Australian accent. 3) Please pick better descriptive phrases to describe your characters than their nationality if you don't want to use their class names, or use first- or second-person view if you don't want to worry about potential pronoun confusion.
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