The following is a round robin story between Foolish Fool, SANDVICH, Aurora-Storm, Zombay, Doc Hoff, and PAPAYADRANK, on the the Circle Jerk steam chatroom, oh, and Cat Bountry.


One fine sunday, Pyro was baking muffins. The muffins were thought to be delicious. And this was the plan.. though they tasted a little.. off.. The pyro cooking them removed his mask and ate the muffin, but it turned out horrible. "Impossible, I put in the right ingredients; fish shaped fish, 2 cups rhubarb, 1 tsp grated orange rhubarb," and so he continued only to be interrupted by Heavy! He walked in with a jolly look on his face. He sniffed the air for a moment before laying his eyes on the muffins. "THESE LOOK DELICIOUS!" He yelled. Heavy leapt at the muffins. "INCOMING!" he yelled, with a hungry twinkle in his eye. pyro worked on an impulse, and proceeded to... Shove the entire tray down his gullet. "OM NOM NOM, NOM NOM NOM"
Sonnemelzen: Heavy, being mid-leap, was unable to stop himself and accidentally swallowed Pyro's head. Medic stormed in, looking for his companion. "VHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DUMBKOFF? Vait.. by Hitlers mustache, vhat are you DOING?!" "LEETLE RUBBER MAN TASTE GOOD!" Heavy said as he om nom nom nom nom'd on Pyro's head. As Pyro screamed and tried to escape, Archduke Ferdinand checked his watch and saw he was overdue for an engagement in Sarajevo..."Hey who turned out the lights?" Pyro repeated over and over again in a monotone while being digested. Suddenly, scout walked into the room, naked. "YO DOC. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CLOTHI- HOLY SHIT!" Scout just gawked at the sight before him. "uhh....i see you fags are busy so...AH!" he quickly fled back to what he was doing before seeing such a traumatizing event. Heavy spit Pyro out "YOU ARE NOT MUFFIN." He was very disappointed by this. Pyro then took off his mask, and Heavy gasped in horror, looking upon Pyro's head which was, in fact, a cupcake.

Little did they know, but the face Pyro had underneath his mask was in fact another mask he had borrowed from Spy in order to disguise his delicious nature. Medic considered Pyro in confusion. "I.. I did not drink something.. funny, did I?" He frowned at Heavy before shaking his head. "That was not the point of my visit!! You both need to come vith me. There is a Spy in our base." "SPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?" Announcer's voice screamed over the microphone. "I HATE SPIES! STUPID THINGS ALWAYS STEAL MY SANDWICH AND CRAP ON THE BEACH!" medic and heavy exchanged glances. "I zhink zhose are seagulls you are referring to, frau announcer," medic tepidly said. Pyro agreed, but jerked his head to the left to try to identify the smell coming from the proximity... something familiar to him; "smoke," he mumbled, unintelligible due to his muffin head. Out of nowhere, something flew above them. "What could zat be?" said the medic as he looked up. What he saw surprised him. It was a seagull! A seagull wearing a balaclava! All of a sudden, the spygull swooped down and coughed up and chucked a knife right at them! "GentleMINE!" it screeched, before flying back into the distance. the knife was hurtling swiftly towards the group below! The knife hurtled into Pyro's frosting-covered head, causing him to fall backwards onto the floor, smearing delicious frosting and sprinkles all over the dang place.
Just then, Engineer was walking by and slipped on the frosting and sprinkles, causing him to.... land ass-first on his detonator button. Something exploded in the distance, and the base was now basically defenceless from the might of the vicious Spygulls.


"GENTLE-MINE MINE MINE" the spygulls exclaimed as they began to attack the base and steal all of heavy's sandviches. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the russian exclaimed, falling to his knees in despair. Then, his despair turned to RAGE. "VE VILL COMBAT DA SPYGULLS," he said, pulling out a giant cage from hammerspace, "WITH ZHESE"! he opened the cage, revealing a whole bunch of... TWISTY SPIES!Dissolving, twisting, in a mass of flesh and bones, deformed beyond the point of humanity. Medic gagged and covered his face. "DUMBKOFF, WHAT ARE ZU DOING?! ZIS IS DISGUSTING" Heavy exclaimed "Ees twisty spy army! EES UNBEATABLE WHEN IT COME TO SPYGULLS!" he laughed heartily. "ONWARD GLORIOUS CREATURES!" the twisty spies scuttled and limped into battle. The Twisty Spies did not make is very far. The unbearable pain of their existence crippled them, and they flopped about uselessly, screaming in a never-ending agony as the Spygulls tore their amorphous flesh with their beaks. Getting their heads chopped off with shovels would be a far more pleasant experience. Heavy's excitement diminished as he watched the scene unfold before him, so he sat down and pulled out the last sandvich.


"GENTLEMINE!!" A Spygull screeched it's displeasure and snatched Heavy's last Sandvich away. Medic backed away from Heavy and steadied himself for the hell that was about to unleash, wicked grin and Medigun at the ready. Just as Medic was about to shoot, a wild tentaspy appeared! "Tentaspy!" medic exclaimed, looking towards the towering, menacing creature. "Destroy zhose spygulls!" "But zhey are my comrades," the tentaspy said, grabbing medic and heavy with his slimy appendages and bringing them to him. "And besides, eet ees raping time."

Pyro then removed the knife from his cupcake head, he stood up, staggered towards the tentaspy, who was in shock, due to seeing a man with a cup cake head. "HUDDAH HUDDAH." Said pyro, poking a hole into his head. Tenta Spy had no choice, like a panther he lept on to pyro, raping every angle of his cupcake head with the lust of a 70 year old man... with tentacles. "Unf unf unf," went Tentaspy. He came. Pyro then stabbed the tenta spy in the knife with the vomit covered SpyGull knife. Pyro stood up. Put on his sunglasses that were way over sized to be fit on a normal head. "I guess you could say, the cake was a lie." Enginieer, Medic, and Heavy then shouted. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!