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No. 239
Spy was cold, very very cold, cold to the touch. His skin was white as paper, his arms were so heavy, his body was so heavy. He was hard to lift, hard to carry. He was so cold.
Sniper woke covered in sweat, his sheets were soaking. What’s worse, he once again had left his window open, allowing the unfamiliar alpine breeze to cool his room to near freezing. “shiiiite” Ripping the covers off himself Sniper wiggled out of bed and shuffled to the window. It was still dark outside, no earlier than two or three, he had only been sleeping for a few hours. Pulling on the old sliding window made the wood squeak he really needed to oil it or something. Having closed off the offending wind he decided that a hot shower was in order, his room was much too cold stay in anyway.
A month and several weeks had passed since his “minor incursion” with Soldier. There had been more questioning and a few official inquiries, mostly directed at Demo. Everyone simply stuck with Spy’s flimsy story and in the end Soldier was considered AWAL. No new soldier had yet been established in his place and as far as Sniper was concerned, this was bloody fucking great! Without a soldier around yelling orders and whispering behind the team’s back there was an over all feeling of relaxation after battle that Sniper hadn’t realized was missing.(not to mention an empty room to hide his booze in) With this newfound calm Sniper was spending more time out of his nest and downstairs, hanging with the team.
The transition into regular socialization was not easy. At first, he didn’t want to come down, life after the soldier seemed exactly the same to him. How could it be different? There was still a war going on, there was still all this undue hate in the world. However, after spending that entire Friday together just talking and smoking, Spy had decided to spend his evenings up in Sniper’s nest. Once the initial fray was over and Spy’s job was finished, they would wile away just chatting while Sniper picked off any BLU stragglers. Despite not having much in common they could hold long conversations, and when they ran out of things to say Spy would call out a random spot on the field and sniper would find the BLU in that area. It became a favorite game of theirs, they would bet cigarettes and laugh as sniper occasionally missed the head and took out a limb instead, causing a flurry of blood spray and chaos as the enemy would shoot in all directions desperately searching for their assailant. Eventually they either bled out or disappeared behind a building or some rocks. For a whole week this was their routine, and the activity began to cheer Sniper up. He laughed more now with Spy around.
Unfortunately, BLU began to catch on to what areas Sniper could see from his perch and they were making sure to stay well out of sight. They kept an eye out for his glowing red dot and were rapidly learning to dive across any gaps in cover. Sniper suddenly had fewer and fewer heads to burst after 6pm. Eventually he would just sit staring out on an empty field muttering obscenities at the environment for existing and providing BLU with so many hiding spots. Spy, without their game, would grow bored and was spending less time upstairs, leaving for dinner earlier and earlier. Sniper had already become so accustomed to their conversation he would begin to become bored himself, so after a few stubborn and ridiculously uneventful nights of refusing to leave his post, Sniper eventually started following Spy.
Soon he found that life downstairs was unbelievably interesting. Especially so after a fight. Most of his teammates came away with bullets lodged in their various limbs, and bleeding profusely from gaping wounds so large that, should he have tried, Sniper could have fit his entire fist in. Despite their obvious afflictions they would laugh and carry on as if they were fine, rough housing with each other and congratulating themselves on a job well done, all while staining the wood floor a splotchy dark brown. That was until Medic snapped his glove.
With Sniper up in his nest all day and Spy being the sneaky bastard that he was, they usually came away unscathed, sparing them from the real horrors of battle. With Medic’s one harsh motion, the terror in his teammate’s eyes grew greater than any fear sniper witnessed at the end of his scope. It was great! Sniper and Spy sat on the couch positively giggling as their team squealed in pain. Watching Medic work had become their new favorite pastime. Endless amounts of entertainment could be had while surveying Medic’s lack of proper medical training. Sniper was sure that the gage of stitching that Medic used was much thicker than most medical grade, and he really liked to cut in deep! Sure you needed to too reach the bullet and various bits of shrapnel, but FUCK he didn’t need to scrape the bone!
Besides just watching Medic at work, Sniper and Spy were often spotted together around the base. Their time was spent swapping smokes for beer and beer for smokes, sneaking jerked meats from the pantry, and sharing stories of their home life. In the evenings they would sit together on the western roof watching the sun set. Sniper talked about his mother’s food, how she would make every meal but breakfast so heavy that before he started exploring around the wilderness, he had been quite pudgy. Sniper loved recalling in great detail his nights out on the Australian desert, describing the twinkling stars and screeches of wild animals in the darkness so elaborately that anyone listening would have felt as if they themselves were camping on the dusty rocks in the vast uninhabited outback.
Spy didn’t say much about his home understandably. Spending fifteen years of his life in constant hiding and secrecy had taught him that life before the war was not only unimportant but irrelevant, and as such he no longer felt the need to reminisce about those times. Instead he was more than willing to talk about his time on the base. Before Sniper had started coming down regularly, he had managed to miss out on six BLU raids inside the fort, five major explosions, three fires and one really great water fight.
The water fight, as Spy explained, had been between RED and BLU on a hot summer afternoon when they both agreed that headquarters was full of shit and lies and more shit. Every one of their weapons had been replaced with something that could hold and subsequently shoot water. Both team’s engineers had emptied out several oil canisters with pumps and handed them out as makeshift water pistols. The demomen had gathered any water tight bags they could and would throw them from the roofs. Pyros on the other hand took the sneakier rout, having found large buckets they would wait at the top of staircases for any unsuspecting victim. Eventually the fight was fought more between classes than teams. The day after, Engineer discovered several bacteria in their well that was known to cause hallucinations and severely impaired judgment. Undoubtedly, sharing the same water table, BLU and RED had made a huge mistake and continued to quarrel as usual.
Those few weeks talking with Spy uplifted Sniper’s spirits completely. He became very fond of their time together and grew somewhat emotionally attached to Spy. In fact, Sniper stared keeping a special eye out for Spy during battle. Spy had related so many stories of near misses in the BLU base that Sniper started to worry. From his vantage point Sniper had seen RED team get shot up, stabbed, exploded, and maimed, but despite all their injuries and close calls they had managed to keep fatalities to a minimum, mostly because they were all watching each other’s back. When Spy was in BLU base however, he was alone and without back up, only Sniper could see him with the aid of his scope, and now he was watching. There were several occurrences where a BLU would sneak up behind Spy or run down a corridor that he had just disappeared in, Sniper did his best to keep Spy in his sights and therefore safe. Good thing to, because their previous major skirmish could well have been Spy’s last.
That day Spy had slipped past all the sentries, soldiers, heavys, medics, scouts, and stickies without a problem, as far as BLU was concerned, he was just another demoman making his way down to the intel to lay some traps.
“La la la! No one sees me la la la! Going to lay some stickies in the intel room la la la! Don’t mind me la la la! I am not a little French fag I am a little Scottish one! la la la!” well, that’s not what he was actually saying, but that’s what Sniper was muttering while watching Spy practically skip into BLU’s front door. His gall had always amused Sniper… A few minutes passed by and Sniper picked off one or two heavys, delighting in the red spray that covered their medics faces, soaking in their horrified surprise before popping them in the head as well. The radio crackled, it was Scout,
“Yo spy, where are you? You got the downstairs sentries yet?” … silence…*crackle* “Hey spy! You listenin’ bro?”
Spy wasn’t answering right off, but that was normal, there could be some BLU around. He was taking an awfully long time though, a little longer than his usual lazy ass self…
“Hey SPY! Come on you fuckin’ frog sap that shit already!... Is anyone even payin’ attention to me?!”
*crackle*…the next voice was Engineers,” Yellin’ an’’ hollerin’ in the radio ain’t gonna be helping anythin’ Scout, be paitent. Sniper do you see anything?”
He passed his sights over the windows, they were all empty except for one enemy sniper, whom he shot in the eye. “Nah mate, I suspect he’s in the basement by now…” Sniper took his time reloading so he could scan the entire field, he was getting a little worried. Five more minutes passed.
”Ah hell, Demo don’t blow those doggone front sentries just yet, we need to wait up on Spah or else Scout ’ll never get in”
*Crackle*”yeah yeah I Know! don’ be telling me how ta’ do meh’ job, I haven’t blown ‘em yet have I?”
*CHSST* “ Come on Spy I’m ready to go man! Where are you!?”
Another minute passed, Sniper scoped every window again but he didn’t see anything. The radio snapped again,
“*CHHST* BL *CCHHHHHST* ENTRYS*”….” I SAID *CHHT* ‘ZE FUCKING SE*CHHT* NOW!*”
“Yo, what the fuck was that noise? Was that spy?”
Only Sniper could see the BLU team turn back towards their fort with a furious pace, and he had a fairly good idea why. His hands gripped tight around his rifle, flashing the scope back and forth across the battle field. He started picking off those most dangerous to Spy at the moment, namely the Soldiers, Scouts, and Pyros. There was no way to remove them all, reloading took far too long, but this little bit would help that stupid French fuck as he neared the front doors with the intel case strapped to his back like a fucking idiot. Something was wrong though, (other than the obvious) Spy wasn’t leaving the BLU base, he was just standing there waving his arms and holding his radio in the air. A BLU medic rushed around the corner just behind Spy, Sniper let a shot off but the medic dodged it somehow and was now about to unload his Blutsaugher into Spy’s back. The wasted bullet managed to do some good though, it had alerted Spy to the enemy behind him and he was now finally running out the door, and back in, and out, and back in again. What the hell was he doing?!
Sniper zoomed his scope back and forth, what was that spy running around for? Then he saw it, the tiniest flash of gunmetal rotating from behind a rock,
*CHHT* “DEMO! DEMO MATE BLOW THE SENTRIES!”
*CHHT* “ What’re ye talking aboot? Spy hasn’t given us th’ OK yet!”
*CHHT* “SPY’S AT THE FRONT DOOR WIT’ THE INTEL! BLOW ‘EM NOW!”
*BAM* seems like Demo didn’t need any further explanation, he sent two sentries sky high, but that little bit of gunmetal that sniper could see was still there and moving.
*CHHT* “ YA BLOODY MISSED ONE!”
*CHHT* “ Ai yeah, Ah Can’ na’ help it! there’s ah blasted Pyro blowin’ mah stickies off the damned thing! Spy, your gonna have ta make a mad run for it lad!”
*CHHSSSTTT*”C’est des *CHHSST*onneries!” Spy made a mad ran for it.
Sniper snapped his scope back to the door, the BLU medic now lay on the ground with a knife stuck in his eye, at least there was no longer that to worry about, but the sentry was sweeping around, it’s targeting system sensing Spy just around the rocks. There was no way he could make it around that corner and live. As Spy dashed closer and closer to the rocky outcropping Sniper ground his nails into the window seal. Spy didn’t know where that sentry was, but that was the only open path. As Spy rounded the corner Sniper closed his eyes, there was no one following to pick off, not that it mattered much, he scrunched his eyes tighter, waiting for the inevitable sounds of missiles rendering living flesh to chunks of bloody meat. But they never came, perhaps Spy was trying to find another way around? Sniper’s right eye popped open and he pressed it to his scope, searching desperately for that suited idiot. Spy was still alive and running alright…but now he was on fire…
“Piece. Of. Piss.”
The BLU pyro that had been blowing away Demo’s stickies had abandoned his post once he noticed that the sentry was out of ammo. Now he was chasing after Spy unloading his fuel rapidly in a fiery blaze, Sniper shot him in the leg. He really should have gone for the head, but he was so surprised that Spy was in fact NOT a pile of bloody giblets he couldn’t concentrate. It didn’t make much of a difference, taking out the pyro’s kneecap had the affect he was looking for anyway.
Spy was still on fire though… Once, before they were friends, watching him run like that had been mildly amusing, now it was making Sniper sick. He knew Spy had been hit several times before he was out of BLU base, he couldn’t have had much strength left. Sniper needed down, he needed to get down NOW. Knowing that he could never make it through the fort in time Sniper did a very stupid thing. Grabbing his kukri he swung both legs out his window and jumped, sliding down the roof he could feel bits of wood jamming into his skin through his shirt. Abruptly his body slipped over the edge. When he hit the ground he heard an unsettling crunch, well… he felt it more than heard it but he ran anyway. A BLU scout popped out to his left, but apparently he didn’t notice Sniper and kept running, /lucky/. A BLU engineer stepped into his path, and Sniper smacked right into him, not so lucky, for the engineer. Sniper had been running knife first, /luuuuccckkkkyyyy!/ His kukri left in the writhing engineer, Sniper continued to run as fast as his scrawny legs could take him, months of sitting with his eye pressed to a gun had not served him well. When he finally found the RED ball of fire sprinting down the path, Sniper was exhausted.
Ripping off his vest he rushed to smother the flames, but spy was still running, seemingly un-winded. Sniper managed to keep up somehow and batted away the flames. When the last of the embers were extinguished the two men were already at RED base’s door and collapsed inside. Right off, Spy carefully slipped away his charred jacket and rummaged around the inside pocket gingerly lifting out a pack of his favorite cigarettes and lighting one. He offered one to Sniper, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of more smoke and burning, and frankly didn’t see why Spy was so eager to put a flame next to his face again so soon.
The fight lasted for several more hours, BLU struggled to retrieve their stolen intelligence but in the end they only got so far as the front door, as evening fell they retreated back. Sniper, having returned to his nest, was making a poor attempt at picking off the stragglers. Even so, he stayed there a while after having given up, Spy hadn’t come up to talk today, It was odd. He waited as long as he could, the sun slipped slowly behind the snow capped mountains casting long shadows across the valley. The inviting scents of seared meat wafted upstairs, dinner was being prepared. Sniper sighed, slowly crawled down his ladder and wandered to the living area, Spy was nowhere to be seen. Pre-dinner was as boisterous as usual, Demo had already supplied everyone with his “special brew”, and as Sniper entered a mug was shoved into his hands as well. The drink might have had a taste, and it may have been unpleasant for all anyone knew, but all discernable flavor was lost as the liquid numbed the tongue and burned the throat upon contact. Everyone drank and sang merrily while they waited for food.
Out of the kitchen burst Spy with a large steaming pot, /so that was where he was./ He was smiling very happily to himself and humming some French tune, his cigarette barely hanging from his lips, apparently he had been consuming Demo’s drink as well. As Spy slammed the pot down the team gave out hearty cheer and dug in. Spy had slipped around the table to his side and sat next to Sniper on the bench wiggling between him and Engineer, it was a tight fit but no one minded. The stew may not have been gourmet but it was still damn good, hell, even if it hadn’t been, Sniper couldn’t taste much anyway. He had already forgotten Spy’s earlier absence.
After dinner Medic demanded everyone take a shower, even though he had “healed” all their wounds it was still important to keep them clean to avoid infection. So still buzzed from the alcohol and comfortably full, they all piled into the locker room still chatting and boasting about their own personal victories of the day. Showering together in the base was a normal occurrence. After battle, no one had the energy for embarrassment. During his first few days of coming downstairs early Sniper had gotten as used to being naked in front of the team as he could. It still was a little odd for him as he was used to being the only one out at night. Even so, he was now able to comfortably strip down and claim an empty showerhead, allowing himself to take pleasure in the hot water rushing against his skin. He closed his eyes to better take in the relaxing warmth. Tight muscles softened from his shoulders down to his feet, drowsiness settled in, the loud voices of the team became a soft babble, then a barley audible mumble.
Sniper stumbled a little and snapped back into consciousness. Silently he cursed to himself, there were only two showerheads on now, and no slamming locker doors. He never liked being alone with just one other person in the showers, it was really creepy, and being a little drunk did not help matters. He stared deliberately at the cracks in the tiled wall tracing them to the ceiling then down again to his toes.
So awkward, alone with another naked man, who was it? Sniper tried not to become curious, but he hated having someone behind him, someone he didn’t know, someone who could be an enemy, staring at his supple flesh, waiting to stick him… Sniper had to look now, he was too paranoid not to. But if it was a teammate he didn’t want to seem weird or unstable, rumors spreading about his strange behavior would not do well for his new found sociability. Sniper looked for any excuse to turn around, nothing was making itself present, he would have to create a situation. The soap sniper was holding wasn’t exactly slippery being army issue, but it would have to do. Aiming behind him, Sniper gave a hard squeeze, sure enough the bar shot over his shoulder and landed a few feet behind him, giving Sniper the perfect opportunity to see who was there.
At first, when Sniper turned around, his eyes stayed on the ground, didn’t want to seem too eager to stare. Once he reached the soap however, and kneeled down to pick it up, he let his eyes roam to the other mans feet. They were rough and calloused as if he had been wearing shoes that pinched, his legs were pale like they hadn’t seen the sun in ages, his thighs were toned and scared with old bullet and knife wounds, a little hair and Snipers eyes did an automatic jump to the hips. Bones could clearly be seen under the taught skin, he was so pale, more scars along his navel, muscles pressing against them making the white tissue even more obvious. Some hair graced his chest, black and coarse, soft white soap suds slipped down across his collar bones, his neck was strong, the adams apple bounced, his face was covered in a balaclava, his lips stretched back in a tight grin, and cold blue eyes were looking right back into Sniper’s. Well shit, he had been found out.
Sniper snatched his soap bar quickly and turned back to the hot streaming water, he prayed Spy hadn’t noticed how long his little look had lasted, that would be far too embarrassing for his imagination to handle. A few minutes passed, Spy said nothing, Sniper allowed his body to relax. Lathering himself up he began to let his mind wander. All those scars on Spy’s body, how many close calls had he been through? Perhaps Sniper hadn’t needed to rush in to save him today, perhaps Spy was more than capable of saving his own ass. Sniper’s face felt hot, he was beginning to realize his little outburst on the field this afternoon had been totally unnecessary, fueled solely by his emotions of friendship. Fuck, he was turning into a complete sap. Desperately he needed to be alone, before Spy could see his face. Sniper’s hand rested on the knob, soap was still running down his body, shit, he hurried to rinse it off.
“How are you Sniper?“ /oh fuck,/ “Did, you get injured on the field?” His voice was rough and deep and close, how far behind him was he?
Sniper stuttered “n…No, I’m fine mate,”
“oh, ‘zat is good. You know, I was very surprised to see you running like ‘zat, ‘Like a bat out of hell’ as ‘zey say,” Spy’s voice seemed to come form the right, all that was there was another cracked wall, Sniper was freaking out.
“yeah, well ‘ya know how it is” Sniper reached to turn the knob, he needed out, screw the soap.
“You haff splinters all along your back,” A soft hand rested on Sniper’s shoulder blade and with a sharp pinch Spy ripped out a shard of wood, “you should let me take care of ‘zem,”
“YEOCH! No, I can get ‘em don’t worry about it –EEK!”
“Do not be silly, eet is much better to haff someone else do it,” Spy pawed at snipers back, searching out each and every splinter and plucking them out one by one. Sniper couldn’t help but feel that Spy was enjoying his squeals, surly he could have been gentler. There must have been hundreds of little bits of roof embedded in his skin, and they must have been small, Spy kept scooting a little closer each time he tugged. Eventually he stopped, finally Spy must have finished and Sniper could get the hell out of this increasingly awkward situation.
“I ‘zink I would have been kee’lled if eet were not for you,” Spy’s breath floated hotly against Sniper’s neck, he froze. Spy’s chest was pushing up against his back now.
“I ‘zink I would haff been kee’lled several times over if it were not for you. I have noticed your red point in the windows, it follows me. I know you have been watching,” each word was so soft, Spy’s hands were rubbing his shoulders,
“Spy?” A hand reached around and rested on Snipers chest, another rested on his mouth.
“shhhh… now, why would you do ‘zat Sniper? No one has done ‘zat before, not for me at least,” Sniper couldn’t have answered even if he wanted to, the hand that was on his mouth clamped down. Apparently Spy didn’t need an answer. “You haff been taking a lot of care to keep me safe as of late, I would like to ‘zank you for eet, Sniper” Spy brushed his lips along snipers ear, purring his name softly, he was so close. A hand slipped down slowly, brushing his nipple, down past his stomach, reaching for his-
Sniper’s control of his body returned, he pulled at Spy’s hands, they fell away with very little effort, “stop it Spy,” Sniper turned off the water, wrapped a towel around his waist and walked straight to the door. What the hell was that!? What the fuck was Spy trying to pull? If he was trying to make fun of Sniper’s actions today there were better ways then THAT to do it. Sniper made a quick glance back at Spy, he had returned to his shower, standing very straight with his back turned. Whatever… Sniper stomped to his room and went to bed.
The next day was painfully uneventful, BLU never showed their faces. Sniper spent the whole day smoking in his nest, Spy hadn’t come up. Downstairs everyone sat fairly quiet, Pyro and Engineer were playing poker with Heavy and Medic, Demo drank and poked at a bomb with some tweezers, Scout was fiddling with his Baseball cards on the coffee table, Spy was nowhere to be seen… Sniper picked up a beer and sat on the couch. The old paper had disappeared sometime ago so Sniper occupied his time by reading Scout’s cards. The night dwindled on, the team eventually drifted to their rooms, first it was Medic, closely followed by Heavy, then Pyro and Engineer left together, Demo passed out where he was and Scout packed up his cards soon after that. Without anything left to do Sniper finally peeled himself up and went to bed.
Weeks and battles passed, Spy didn’t come up to the nest, Sniper fell into his old routine and started to feel the depression and loneliness sink in again worse than before, that brief month of socialization had left its mark. Sniper still followed Spy with his scope and blew away any BLU that dared to sneak up behind him, however he was careful to hide his point. Sniper found himself contemplating his cigarettes each evening, the stock ones supplied to the base were bitter, Spy’s cigs were soft and mellow, and he was always willing to share. Spy was filling Snipers thoughts all the time now, why had he done that, that… that whatever it was he had done in the showers, why had he stopped coming up to talk? Then the nightmares began. First they were abstract, just shapes and movement, then they started to become more and more clear. Sniper would be following Spy with his rifle, watching his back like usual when his trigger finger would slip and Spy would fall down in a splash of red. Sniper would rush down to him, but by the time he picked Spy up, he would be cold and heavy, that was when he usually woke up. The nightmare had woken Sniper up again this night, he needed a hot shower now to wash off his cold sweat.
The hallway was quiet and thankfully empty, no need for unwanted company at this point. Sniper grumbled to himself as he opened the door to the locker room and stepped inside, he thought he saw something move in the corner, but there was nothing. Sniper shuffled to his locker and opened it shoving his sweat stained shirt inside, he sniffed. Smoke, there was smoke in the room, he turned around, no one there. Sniper was getting so paranoid. Slipping off the rest of his clothes Sniper padded towards the showers when he noticed a drop of red underneath a bench, when he looked closer there was a small puddle of what was most certainly blood. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself. Walking straight to the corner of the room, just next to the door, Sniper reached out and caught on to an invisible tie giving it a sharp jerk.
“Either someones on their period or you’re skulkin’ about with a flesh wound... Spy, what do you think you’re doin’?”
Spy uncloaked frowning, “I was trying to avoid you.”
“yeah, you’ve been doin’ a lot of that lately. Sit down you’re bleeding all over the place.”
Spy was in simply his dress shirt and pants, vest and suit jacket apparently discarded. A frighteningly steady stream of red was soaking through his expensive sleeve, leaving a trail of scarlet drops behind him. Using his silk tie like a leash, Sniper led Spy over to the bench and sat him down next to his locker.
“What in the ‘ell did you do to yourself?” when Sniper pushed back Spy’s cuff he was horrified to find a long gash just below the crook of his elbow.
“ Heh, just anozer risk of my job Sniper, nozing to worry about” he tried to stand,
“NOZING to worry about my ass, look at this! It’s almost to th’ bone.” Yanking on the tie he forced the disgruntled spy back down.
“I can take care of eet myself.”
“shuddap,” Sniper dug into his locker and pulled out a bandage, “What are ya’ sulking around the showers for anyway, why haven’t ya’ taken your sorry ass to Medic?”
“ah, well” Spy paused, “’zat is because, Medic is currently, indisposed…”
Sniper eyed Spy heavily “indisposed doin’ what mate?”
A few ashes fell from his cigarette before Spy said anything, the glimmer of a smile played across his lips “heh… He is busy /ubering/ Heavy” He spoke very deliberately.
“What?” Sniper glanced at his watch, “it’s three in th’ morning, what’s he doin’ that for?”
“never mind, are you finished?” Smile gone Spy watched diligently as Sniper butterflied his wound. The work was a little sloppy, but it would have to do for now. When the last bandage had been wrapped Spy tried to escape again, but Sniper had a hold of his tie.
“let go Sniper”
“nope, I am not done with you yet, sit back down. What happened Spy?”
“I told you, eet was just something ‘zat happened while working”
“Not your arm, I know you won’t talk about that. I meant, why have you been avoiding me?” Spy was silent, “After that night in here, you just stopped talking to me, what-“ Spy was not looking at Sniper at all now, he was calmly fiddling with a bit of loose bandage, an air of boredom about his face. A thought occurred to Sniper, it was a really dumb one and he knew it was going to sound stupid. But perhaps it would shock Spy into telling him the truth.
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