I'm sure I'll read this tomorrow and go ".....what the fuck man" but right now it's 3am and I am easily amused 8DBefore this will make ANY sense, you need to watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3OxKdDxkpgPrepare for incoming stupidity!-------------------It had started when Medic had taken a review of the team's eating habits, and come back from it soundly disturbed. Did half of them even /know/ what a vegetable looked like? How on earth had they all gotten this far eating this.. JUNK? Spy was fairly sensible, and Heavy was happy to eat most things as long as they kept still for long enough, but as for the others....Especially Pyro. Did that man eat at all? If he did, he must sustain himself solely on lighter fluid (a definite possibility) or just inhale his meals.When dinner came around the next day, expressions fell; the team were not impressed. But under Medic's stern, almost matronly gaze they buckled down and set about eating. Well, all that is but for one certain young man.."What the hell is this?" The disgust in Scout's voice was palpable, as he jabbed a carrot stick with his fork, uplifting it from his plate and throwing it down again. Sniper, sat to his left, snorted and munched on a piece of celery."Those, Scout, are vegetables." Medic replied evenly, uncapping small tubs of dip to pass around the table."I know what they are, wiseass." Scout's day had not been a great one, and at the sudden no-show of his usual burger and fries he was willing to class it as an overall catastrophe. He dropped his fork to clatter loudly on the plate, earning a bewildered gaze from Heavy, who was busy cramming half a cauliflower into his mouth across the table. "But why, I'm asking, are they on my goddamn dinner plate?"Medic's lips pursed, but he still spoke calmly as he eyed the other over the top of his spectacles. "It has come to my attention that we, as a team, are not getting our required daily vegetables. You in particular, Scout. Do you not know that you should have at least five fruit and vegetables every day to remain fit an healthy?""I'm fit! I'm healthy!" The boy, unsurprisingly, remained indignant. "I can run circles around any of you!""Yes, well, be that as it may, you still need to eat your vegetables."Medic's tone was stern enough that Scout actually settled down for a bit, resting his jaw on the heel of one hand as he poked unenthusiastically at his food. After a while, however, Medic got sick of his sulking, and said, again in that matronly (and rather cutting) voice.."Scout, stop playing with your food."And that was it. Heavy, done with his own had been eyeing Scout's plate hopefully for the past few minutes, and the young man shoved it forward as he reached out, inhaling through flared nostrils. "Fine! You have it then, Fatty!" He'd probably have gotten a beating for saying it, if Heavy hadn't been too preoccupied with his new meal to hear."That's all you're getting!" Medic rose to his feet and called after him, but Scout was already long-gone, slamming the door in his wake. There was a pause before the Doctor sat again, all eyes on him, and he gave a sniff before straightening his jacket and shooting the team a severe look. "What?"The next day, Scout did not come out to play. Or, he did, but only because he was ravenous after the night without food. When he found Medic already up and in the kitchen preparing a fruit salad for breakfast, he huffed resolutely and turned on his heel, back to bed.It wasn't until well past lunch time that he again shuffled out out of his room, a truly pitiful site. Poor wretched boy.. wouldn't someone please feed him? A burger maybe? No? Then.. some chips? His doe eyes came to no effect, however, and he eventually skulked off to find something for himself...Except a quick scan of the cupboards and fridge left him with a sinking feeling in his already empty stomach. Had that damn Medic cleaned out the WHOLE place? He squinted at the bowls of fruit, looked down his nose at the carefully sealed bags of vegetables. Fuck that. Who'd eat this rabbit food? It was all funny shapes and colours and it wasn't even /cooked/..He slid open one of the the ziplock bags, containing the carrots, and pulled one out, wrinkling his nose. Look at it. Like some.. alien wing-wang or some shit.This stuff wasn't good for eating. It looked.. way too strange....What was it Medic had said? Don't.. play with it?Well."Yo, check it out! You're not the only one who can build shit, Engie!"If the cry hadn't been startling enough, the sound which followed next was. There was a loud, discordant squeal as Scout blew on the carrot, cheeks puffed out and eyes narrowed to slits.Engineer almost fell off his chair."Whut.. whut in tarnation are you playin' at, boy!?" He lifted his hat where it had slipped down, in his surprise, to shoot the kid a horrified look. Scout breathed deeply as he finished the tune (if, really, it could be called that at all), and gave the older man a wide and breathless grin."It's a trumpet! See?" He held it out as he walked over, and Engineer couldn't help but look it over with the scrutiny of a professional. Scout continued to blabber as he took the instrument in his gloved hands, expression deadpan. "See?" He repeated. "The mouthpiece is one of those orange things, and this is the body - I don't know what that thing's called - and then this bit is the horn!" He beamed. Damn, he had this much energy and he hadn't eaten in 24 hours.."Very.. impressive." Engineer didn't bother with sincerity; he just wanted Scout to go away. Now."Isn't it? Wouldn't eat this shit, but it's actually fun if you do better stuff with it." Scout didn't seem to notice the other's tone, as he took his trumpet back. Engineer turned to his work as the boy lifted it again to his lips, and began to play a merry tune (again, for lack of a better word).And like the Pied Piper of bloody-hell-if-he-knew-where, the rats came a'runnin'."Scout.." Medic's brow creased as he came into the room, followed closely by Heavy, who was never very far off. Scout shot him a grin from around the end of the carrot, took a deep breath, and just continued."Scout!" The Doctor wasn't happy about being ignored, and was even less so when he realised just what exactly Scout was blowing on. He jaw dropped in disbelief, before he quickly closed his mouth and marched forward."Scout, vhat is the meaning of this?" He glowered as the young man continued to play, his hand moving on the end of the trumpet. Medic reached out when he got no reply, but Scout twirled away on one heel, to keep it out of his reach, shoulders - and the pitch - shaking with laughter as Medic's cheeks grew red. "My vegetables! Vhat haf you done with them!?"And then Scout was going outright, his own cheeks red from all the blowing, still trying to squeeze a note out between gasped breaths and peals of laughter. Medic only grew more frustrated, still grabbing for the make-shift trumpet ("Zose vere meant for oua dinner!") as the boy spun and hopped. But it couldn't go on forever, and when he pressed his lips to the trumpet to give one more blast, he was done in; his lips, sloppy from the laughing slipped and made the rudest of noises, and Scout descended into fits of giggles, the trumpet going flying as he threw his arms up and doubled over."You child!" Medic scolded, hands balled at his sides as Engie and Spy, both behind them (when had Spy come in? Oh, well, he /was/ a Spy) joined Scout in his laughter. As for the trumpet? It had landed squarely in Heavy's paws; after a long moment he grinned, and shoved it into his mouth.
XDDDD I remember that video. and the fic turned out well too!
fabulous, dahlink
I'm not sure what amuses me more, the fic or the video :D
Hahaha. :D Poor Medic, he is surrounded by (lovable) imbeciles.
This is the best. Had a smile from start to finish. :D
as soon as i saw the vid i had to read this ^^ nice!