Oh, sure, the news gets out and everybody's all "ooh! ooh! Medic's crazy!" Well, shit yeah, you stupid fucks, I coulda fuckin' told you that - he's a fuckin' deutschebag, he's loony, he's the fucking creamy nougat filling'a the fuckin' nutbar, shit ain't RIGHT. Christ, you didn't figure that out 'til they fed it to you? Bet you fucks didn't even know we was fightin' over here 'til they started puttin' out those fuckin' movies and shit, either, huh? Fuckin' civilians.Christ, I known it since the day I got here. For one thing, I walked in, fucker gave me a look worse than Sniper. I mean, yeah, Sniper looks at me like he thinks I'd be sexy dead and covered in barbecue sauce, but Medic looks at me like he thinks I'd be sexy as a motherfucking jigsaw puzzle.And then there's the motherfucking PAINKILLER ISSUE. As in, we ain't GOT NONE, because the fucking deutschebag's fucking popping 'em himself. Christ, I got my goddamn guts sliced open once, 'n' they hadda get fuckin' Demo t'gimme his fuckin' whiskey for anesthetic while I got sewed back up. Point the first: WHISKEY DOES SWEET FUCK-ALL AS AN ANESTHETIC. Point the fucking second: fuckin' Medic was fuckin' DISAPPOINTED I SURVIVED. He mighta just been disappointed 'cause Spy wouldn't let him try rearrangin' shit while he was in there, but either way: NUT. BAR.I dunno what the shit Heavy sees in him, but hell, the Russian Tank ain't all there himself, fuckin' nearly ripped my arms off for touchin' Sascha, maybe they both get off on amputees or some shit I don't fucking know.You ask me, that fucker's only in here 'cause they'd call it murder anywhere else. Can't believe you fuckers never figured that out. Jesus Fucking Christ.
(god i love writing cussy scout)(wol and i really did have Nutbar Medic as our fanon we just never included him in any stories <:3 )
Yeah the story about the guts operation has been our fanon for a long time.i am now imagining crazymedic to have a sex life much like khoro usually presents us with.
Fucker eats rats, too, I fucking swear to God. For fuckin' serious, he's got rat traps all over the fuckin' base, and he does fuckin' experiments on 'em, and I think he fuckin' eats 'em too. Like, alive.
Oh this is so perfect :Dand cussy scout is <3