Gentlemen. And ladies (hello). I am the Spyro.My team believes I am a pyro. The other team believes I am two people. In actuality, I am a single card-carrying member of the International Espionage and Intelligence Workers' Union (UIEEI, it's based out of France) (yes, it's pronounced "wee;" I was kicked out of my first meeting for giggling). A full-fledged spy. Cloaks, disguises, backstabs, revolver games, nicotine addiction, danger, action, poncy accent - all this and more can be yours for the low, low price of me. (I mean, not that I'm cheap or anything. Anyway, I make union scale.) I just come with Free Bonus Pyro.This whole thing started a couple of years ago in a bar, as so many of the best things do. The union, being French, was on strike, and I took the opportunity for a little vacation - it's nice to be able to travel once in a while without it involving breaking the government of my destination, which tends to interfere with my sunbathing and pub-crawling time. (Not that I would do much sunbathing while on a job anyway - union rules state that an active spy must wear his mask at all times, and there's something sublimely ridiculous in the sight of a man wearing nothing but a balaclava. Besides, the tan-lines that result are horrible.)Anyway, I was in Jamaica, having a smoke and a Red Stripe in a beachfront cantina, when I heard a familiar voice clal out my old college nickname. (I'm not telling you what it is.) It was my sophomore-year roommate - we'd done our general studies together until he decided to major in Pyro and transferred to a different campus. We spent a while reminiscing over wild times in the good old days, and then he started telling me about how great it had turned out being a pyro. He made some really good points, and showed me this really neat trick you can do to use the gas mask for smoking. (It makes your eyes go really red, but man, it's worth it - and nobody can tell behind the lenses anyway.)I countered by pointing out that a spy can be ANYONE, and that's when The Idea struck.I pumped him for more information on being a pyro, and did some research on my own after I got home. The obvious perks of getting to play with fire and wear a mask that doubles as a smoking implement are backed up with a host of other advantages that the recruiters and guidance counselors never mention for some reason. It's true of all professions - we spies can get discount airfare and hotel if we book through the union, and I've seen opthalmologists who offer half off for demos. Pyros get some pretty neat stuff, though: lower rates on car insurance, a special menu at Taco Bell, and - best of all - free gas. And don't forget that flamethrower.Well, the idea was looking pretty good to me (especially the insurance and gas breaks; UIEEI had just settled a pretty big lawsuit against some outfit called Your Logistics Warehouse or something, and I'd dropped my cut on a really nice motorcycle). I sat on it for a while, and then opportunity knocked.
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is good darling :D
I picture the moment that Spyro's team finds out the truth to involve a lot of blank staring on their part, torn between anger (or at least a very strong annoyance) about the fact that he's been lying to them the entire time they've known him and a sheer sense of WTF SERIOUSLY WTF WHY (FOR THE LULZ!) at the fact that he bothered Living A Lie like that. Like, it'd make sense if he were going under deep cover, but - no, this is really his team, he's just not really a Pyro.So they're just O.oand he's just ^______^Somewhere in this favoured land the rain is pouring down;Somewhere Death Cab is playing, and somewhere men wear frowns;Somewhere women are crying, and somewhere children shout - But there's only joy in Spyroville, because hahahahahaha seriously did you SEE the LOOKS on their faces oh god it was PRICELESS I wish I could've taken a picture I'm DYING over here
slowpoke.jpg.double thumbs up,owl.this is great.<3.
> opthalmologists who offer half off for demos> special menu at Taco BellAH HA HA!Fantastic stuff, owl.
The union, being French, was on strikeBAHAHAthat was great.
I loved the humor!