First thing ever done with TF2, I hope it doesn't burn anyones eyes.--------------------------How the idea came to be, Spy had no idea- he recognised it as ridiculous from the beginning. A monthly drinking contest; what Red team finally decided on. To solve the constant bickering over who got to use the showers first. Sure, it was the only solution put forward so far, yet Spy had to question if there was a better option. One way to be stronger was to know your weakness, Spy had learned a long time ago. Alcohol just happened to be his.Not only was he uneasy being drunk around the team, he knew his team were heavy drinkers- except for the hilariously under aged Scout of course. There was also the fact the team wouldn't even trust Scout with coffee to take into consideration. It had been 4 months now - with some rather surprising outcomes without Spy joining in. Medic's fantastic karaoke stylings, for one. Heavy, what they would call a 'sad drunk' Spy noted, he would smash against the table and yell about his past memories with a slur. 'Nobody love me in Russia... Mother say I failure!' Another bottle of beer was emptied into that frown. 'Brother very rich man.' Another surprising outcome was Soldier, who was- well Spy wasn't unsure what the term could be until Engineer thoughtfully added the term 'cuddly' to the mixture of 'short-tempered' and 'insane.' With Pyro, Spy was unsure. How one could get drunk through a gas mask, for example. Also, whether he was singing along or throwing up, voice heavily distorted through the thick flame retardant suit. Demoman, however, wasn't surprising. Most had grown accustomed to his inebriation. Engineer was what Demoman had dubbed a '12 pinter.' Spy could remember the half slurred celt's speech, that the term was for a man who could drink 12 pints before the tipsiness kicks in - Spy had to wonder where all of it went. That was probably why Engineer reigned champion. Yet, there was no sight of Sniper. Sure, one could argue you hardly saw Sniper in the first place - there was also the fact that Spy was sure that Sniper didn't shower in the first place. Now this time around, this time Spy was going to join in. Frankly going to the showers first would be a pleasure - he'd already seen everyone else drunk, maybe they'd be so drunk they wouldn't even remember if he made a fool of himself. One of the main problems was the fact - he knew it from experience - he was a lightweight. He was used to wine, not unlabelled bottles on the table.
---BOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINK---"I never vanted to be a spy, you know... be a spy they said, it's a man's life they said..." Words slurred, a certain uncouth Spy muttered into Engineer's hard hat morosely, "does this suit make me look fat?" Leaving Spy to his lamentations, Engineer went back to tending to his sentries - Spy was sure he loved those things like 'a Texan man loves Texas.' It had taken 4 bottles of what he assume to be paint thinner to leave him sitting outside in the night, mind incoherent as his eyes wondered to Snipers 'special place.' What was Sniper actually doing? Was he watching them all make complete idiots of themselves? Was he asleep? Spy could never be sure - the man was just as sneaky as him in his own ways. There was another time to think about it in-depth, it'd probably be best not to attempt deep thought when drunk... Spy decided this, getting up from his spot on the stairs. The mask was coming off. there was no need to keep it on, no one was around; it was getting too hot and there was also the fact he was still drunk, logical thought about actions could come back later.
---BOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINK---There was Sniper, usual position, usual gun - usual sniper overall. Usually, Spy could easily walk towards Sniper without him noticing until the last second. This time it was different; Sniper noticed him within a second of Spy's hands groping the wall for support, unsure of his footwork."What you 'ere fo' then?" Asked the Sniper in the rough Australian accent, taking only a second to look at the Spy behind him. It took a while for the question to process through Spy's foggy mind, taking a few unsteady steps closer before slumping down on the floor, leaning on the wall. "Me? Nothing, really," came the simple reply, accent strong with his words - they were true though, he didn't have a reason to bother Sniper. "Then stop botherin' me then," Sniper replied, slight irritation to his voice, turning his head to the Spy slumped up against the wall - peering over his aviators in disapproval. Spy returned the glance, running a hand through his somewhat messy hair, other hand going inside his open suit jacket for his cigarette case. Just as ungraceful like when walking, Spy lit a cigarette up with shaky hands, staying in place without regarding the glare from Sniper. After he snuffed the cigarette on the wall, Sniper rolled his eyes with an audible huff, showing his irritation more clearly. With a frown, Spy finally got the message, standing up shakily and picking up his mask off the floor. With as much dignity as he could muster, he took one last glance at Sniper. Then fell down the stairs.If Sniper got up and ran to watch, he did so silently. He just appeared, a silhouette, at the top of the stairs. Spy had fallen with a loud shout, then a series of swear words in French proceeded before he dared look up towards Sniper - taking off his gloves to clap a hand over the (worryingly bloody) lower half of his face. "Let's 'ave a look, then." Sniper suggested, taking off his tinted glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.
---BOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINKBOINK---Sniper took the burden of searching out the 'Creepy Germans' room and helping Spy's broken nose, making sure the drunk man in his care wasn't going to do anything stupid - for example, running away.There was no point in asking a drunken doctor what to do or asking for his help - he didn't want Spy to come to more harm, even though he'd never admit it.Spy's nose was bandaged as well as a man with a shaky grasp on basic first aid could. The Spy looked up, a frown on his face as he took out his cigarette case - keeping silent; the fall sobered him up just a tad, along with the pain. His movements were more careful, more deliberate. "Now Frenchie, can't be smokin' now," stated Sniper, taking the smokes from the others hand, taking one in his teeth before tucking the box away. Lighting it, he stood up straight, shooting a fairly amused smirk at Spy's glower of discontent. "Get outta 'ere, Frenchie, you've been 'nough trouble already," putting away the lighter in his back pocket, he turned away, back to the Spy leaning on the walls while attempting to stand up. "...My cigarettes?" Spy finally spoke again, repulsed at his own nasal voice, watching the other disappear up the stairs. All Spy got was a wave of the hand over one shoulder, a little dismissal, before Sniper went back to his post. He'd have to get them back another time. Better yet, when he was sober and able to breathe through his nose.
D'aww, drunk Spy is surprisingly adorable. I seriously "awwed" when Spy started slurring into Engineer's hardhat.Very cute story. NICE JOB, FRIEND.
Hee, I liked this. DrunkSpy is funny.
D'aww at sad drunk Heavy.
Hahah, awww. That was a really fun read. I liked the subtle way you wrote in their personalities. It felt nice and natural. Write more :D
;__; I can be part of the gang now?
You already are. :3
And then Mentlegen was a faget.
>>11My one goal in life!