I woke up slowly and cautiously the next morning. I could tell I had slept in just from how rested I felt. I laid there for a while listening for any sounds that would suggest I was in trouble. The faint bustle outside didn't allay my concerns much. I was probably in trouble. I lost myself in thought as I hopped out of bed and pulled on my suit. Back when I had been undergoing training we were always up at dawn doing drills. We ate together, hung out together, and shared everything. Life had a nice rhythm. Out here it was pure chaos. I wasn't even convinced there was a plan of attack. The Heavy had been distributing orders, but there was something off about the commands. It almost felt like this group of BLUs were missing their real leader.I slid my tie into place and smoothed down the front of my lapels. The suit was fitting much more loosely today now that my shirt was buttoned properly. At least there was plenty of room underneath for my gun. I just had to get some unpleasantness out of the way and I could go about my business properly.I closed the door to my makeshift room with a soft click. My cigarettes had to be someplace in this complex. If nobody realized I was up I could snoop as much as I pleased until I found them. I sneaked softly down the hall, first trying at the door to Sniper's room. It was locked. I looked down the hall as the sound of a radio caught my attention. Static-muddled rock music broken by the occasional thump was echoing out of the Scout's room. The slight haze flowing out from the top of the door told me everything I needed to know. I clenched my fist, that brazen jerk was smoking my cigarettes! My temper flared and I gave up my auspices of stealth as stomped over to his door opening it with a bang. "J'ACCUSE!" my lip curled upwards as I pointed at the Scout. He was laying on his bunk smoking what was definitely one of my cigarettes and bouncing a baseball off the far wall. He glanced at me with an irritated look and his throws became menacingly stronger."What's crawled up your butt, Frenchie?" He wasn't going to make this easy."Mi cigarrillos - ze zigarettes, give zem back." I leaned in towards him. "Zhey are mine."He got up and stared me down. "C'mere and make me, tough guy." It was at this point I discovered I was still quite a few inches shorter than he was. No matter."Just give zem back. Zey are not yours." I tried to act cool but that only irked him more and he put up his fists."Yeah well they ain't yours no more. BONK!" He tried connecting with a right hook. I blocked it but it still stung like hell. I put up my own fists and backed out into the hall. For such a string-bean he was surprisingly strong. I had to get him fighting on my terms or I would get hurt very very badly.
He zipped out after me throwing some rabbit punches my way. By now the commotion had started to draw everyone within earshot. Another punch flew into my ribs. "I 'ave you now!" I jubilantly announced as I wrapped my arms around his. I tried twisting around behind him to get him in a lock but he tugged hard trying to free his arm. I slipped and dragged both of us down to the floor. First I hit the hard floor then the Scout landed on top of me. Even with the wind knocked out of me I was twice as determined and rolled around, just barely managing a leg-lock."Gedoff!" He rolled both of us across the floor as he tried to throw me off him. I could hear bets being thrown down and cheers as we grappled. Then the Scout's bony elbow connected with my jaw. I hadn't been expecting it and saw stars. I lost my grip and in a flash he was straddling my chest pinning me and holding my collar. I struggled to get out from under him but he was too heavy for me to budge. I finally consigned myself to my fate, lying still and staring up at him with murder on my mind as he readied one hell of a left hook."VAS IN DIE HELL ARE YOU DOINK?" The screech coming from Medic stayed the Scout's hand. The Scout's shoulders slumped like he was disappointed."Frenchie got real lippy so I was showin' 'im who's boss around here. A-sides, you said we could take his cigs 'cause he was prolly dead." Scout sniffed, rubbing away some blood trickling from his nose."Yes, well I survived did I not?" I freed my arms and crossed them as I tried to recover the shattered pieces of my dignity. "So give zem back."Scout turned on me and prepared another punch but let that one drop too when Medic tutted him. There were groans and some cash begrudgingly exchanged hands."No, no Scout. Let the little Spy have his cigarettes." I sighed. At least Medic was on my side. "Ve can split them up ven he is dead."...Oh. I let my head drop to the floor and muttered to myself, bitterly mimicking the Medic's voice, "Danke schoen for der vote of confidence, herr doktor.""You just watch y'self, smart guy." Scout shook a finger at me as he finally got off me. I held up my hands, feigning an innocent look.As I dusted myself off, Scout returned with the packs of cigarettes. He dumped them at my feet and beaked at me before taking off to his room again, slamming the door behind him. Nobody hung around to give me a hand. I gathered up the packs and inspected the one that had been opened. I found a small silver lighter tucked into the indent where some cigarettes had been removed. There was an engraving on one side of the Red Sox baseball team logo. I pondered the lighter as I hauled my armload of cargo to my room. It must have been Scout's. Surely he just forgot that it was still in the pack. Well he could come to me and ask for it politely if he wanted it back.I looked around my room. I had to find some hiding place to store these so that nobody could swipe any more. Not that I needed them, but headquarters had given them to me alone. I could use them to barter perhaps, seeing as how Scout was a smoker. I postponed my quest when I heard Heavy stomping down the hall.He was grinning as he stood at my door. He was too big to enter without crushing me against the far wall, "You are very funny, little baby man!"I threw a blasé look his way as funny hadn't been my intention. "Well, I am glad someone enjoyed ee-t.""Da." He shoved a small foil packet into my hands. "You earn breakfast. You do not get more until you earn point.""'Ow do I earn a point for ze team?" I asked, inspecting the skimpy k-ration. This wouldn't last me long considering how rough life was around here."You sap Sentry." Heavy repeated as if he was a dead-serious recording of himself from yesterday. "Or..." He burst into laughter. "You could go out and capture point! WA HAHAHA HA HA HA hoo. No. Tiny baby man cannot capture point. Only men capture point. You sap Sentry. Understand?""Oui, oui. I understand." I nodded. Well at least if he was telling me to, I had every excuse to head to RED base and get my revenge on that Engineer. "I will go." I tried getting past Heavy's bulk but he made an excellent door."Wait." He stopped me dead by placing a single huge hand on my chest. "This time you do not come back injured. You waste too much of doktor's time." There was threat in that statement as I nodded frantically at him. "Come back no injuries or do not come back at all." He then swung away and let me past."A-arrivederci." I bid him farewell as my legs carried me out as fast as I could. I hit the main floor of our base and tore open the ration. All that was inside were a couple high-density calorie biscuits. I nibbled one. They were stale, fantastique. As I went I continued gnawing on the dry biscuits until there was just a wrapper left. Nearing the entrance I peeked my head around the corner and saw our Engineer sitting forward on a toolbox reading a new but equally battered smut magazine. "Pardon, Engineer. Do we 'ave a water fountain or a tap or zomezhing around 'ere?" He looked very pissed as he set down his magazine but he quickly assumed a crooked smile. "Sure. Why not, y'all gave me a good show this mornin'. C'mon." He motioned for me to go back down the hall. He told me to go down the opposite direction once I hit the intersection. I couldn't help but feel that grin ever-present behind my back even as I leaned over and drank greedily at the fountain. When I was done I looked up at the Engineer... who had crept too close for comfort. "Do you mind?""Nope." He just kept grinning that damned grin. It was at this point I felt it prudent to get the hell out of there."I will be back. Do not close ze gates on me!" I called over my shoulder as I made for the exit. He just waved his wrench at me in a crack-over-the-head 'Spy Check' motion and laughed. Merde.
The Engineer picked up my disguise kit again, "Lesse, what disguise would you use to sneak by?"I got a bit nervous as he poked around. I wasn't sure of my answer at all this time. "Ah heh. Well about zat - I was zinking maybe disguise for anozer Pyro." I laughed sheepishly. "Surprise?"His response caught me off guard as he belted out some good strong laughter and slapped his knee. "Ha haha! Well, that's one way t'do it!" He smiled approvingly at me. "I was gonna suggest calling out another guy on the team as a Spy. I've seen it before. Point right at that Scout, call Spy, and scurry off as the Pyros swarm the poor yankee. But I see you've found a way around that."I joined him and let loose with my own laugh as I managed to free a hand. I could just imagine the look on our Scout's face as the Pyro chased him down the hall if I called Spy on him. "Ah hahah ha hou! Mais." I looked down at ground feeling a bit embarrassed. I hadn't even thought of that possibility. "That other strategy is magnifique as well. It is very little work to set up ze red 'erring."I could swear I hear an "aww" come from him as he smiled down at me. "It only works a few times before the caller himself gets checked, and I think we both know how much that hurts. Not to mention the usual 'right place at the right time' thing. I think your plan was plenty clever, pollywog." He reached down easily from his seat and patted me on my lower leg. "Now, what've we learned?" He took a long, slow drag on his cigarette before stealing another from my case."D-distraction." My voice wavered slightly and I could feel my face turn bright red, "It is key to avoid detection." I lowered my voice, snorting lightly. "I also saw zat, Engineer. Sneaky."His grin was nearly ear-to-ear as he leaned over me, lighting the fresh cigarette with the cinders of the old one. "You sure did, but I meant for you to, Polly. You didn't see me knock you out, which is the important part, now ain't it?" I couldn't help but feel a bit like I was being watched over by the Cheshire Cat of Wonderland with all the smiling he was doing. He knelt down next to me inspecting the bindings I had partially freed myself from with a careful eye. "How far've you gotten with those knots?"I frowned and pulled back his previous point, "You know, I still wonder how you did that. I saw nothing. Heard nothing." Wriggling my wrists and ankles I test the ropes for give, "My elbows keep locking up. Perhaps I must work on my flexibility. Urgh." I grunted and strained as I tugged harder at the ropes."You got to be sneaky when you're working with skittish horses and -- here, try this." He caught hold of both my lower arms and moved them just so. Suddenly everything became much easier. There was finally some slack and I began working to free myself with renewed vigor. "And, like I was saying, horses and rustlers. You're plenty flexible, though. You out-bend everyone else I've seen so far, anyway.""'Orses? Well I guess part of it is not being so afraid of getting kicked that you do not try. Ah-HA!" I finally popped my other wrist out of the tangle of rope. I held up both hands triumphantly. "VoilĂ .""One way of putting it, I guess- Good work. Took you long enough, pollywog." He leaned his chin on his hand watching me go at the ropes around my feet. "So how's the base over on BLU treating you today?"I flipped over and gratefully stretched my back before proceeding to tug at the final few ropes. "Hou la la. Zhey are still being very strict and unhelpful. Zhough-" I gave the rope a sharper tug, "Nggh! Zhese cursed ropes are inzidious! -It is very good practice. Evading ze checks, I mean." I gave the rope a good hard yank and felt my shoulder nearly pop out. Wincing at the pain I snapped at him, "Oh why am I even telling you zis?""You want to not tug on those. They'll pull tighter on you unless you pull the main cord first." He quietly pointed out. "Y'know, I heard you tried to wrassle someone."I looked up as I slipped the last of the rope off. "'Ow did you know zat?" My eyebrows shot up. As far as I knew nobody was in the habit of blabbing anything to RED, even if it was hilarious gossip."Our Spy told me. Now lemme show you some tricks." He got up and stretched a bit, rotating his arm. Finally the alarm bells in my mind went off."Your Spy was in our base?!" I got up, my horrified look apparent, "Oof!" I grunted as Engineer's arm caught me across the chest and quick as a flash he had me in a pin on the ground."Well yeah, where else is he gonna be?" Engineer snorted in amusement as he released me."..Oh." I said very quietly, feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment. I got up and dusted myself off, forgetting my folly as Engineer snagged me in an arm-lock and dragging me to the ground. Ten pins later I was flat on the floor, out of breath, and being sat on by Engineer like some bean-bag chair."Got it?" Engineer said with a laugh."Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!" I sputtered, slapping my hand on the ground. I was sure he didn't mean to hurt me, if he had meant to he could have, but Engineer was heavy."Do you promise to be good?" He was just toying with me like a cat with a mouse now that I wasn't in a position to argue. "Not gonna try sappin' any of my Sentries, are you Polly?""No! Uncle! Urgh. Promise not going to sap your Sentries - get off!" I griped as I gasped for breath."All right." Satisfied, he got up, "I'll hold you to that. Now go swim on home, little pollywog. And watch out for the stickies and George on yer way out."I dusted myself off carefully. I'd need to clean my suit jacket again with all this dust and dirt ground into it. Sliding out my disguise kit I chose the guise of RED's Pyro. I ambled forward stiffly, sore from all the wrestling. Looking over my shoulder I asked Engineer, "Mmf mmmfn?""He's the other Engineer o' course." Engineer scratched his forehead with his wrench, "Now don't go getting any ideas."Too late. I was off like a shot, a cruel chuckle passing over my lips. I had promised not to sap Engineer's Sentries but I hadn't said anything about this George guy. Personally, I didn't care if I managed to destroy any of this George-Engineer's Sentries, just as long as I sapped one and Heavy got off my case.I stared in awe from around a corner when I saw it; George's hallway wasn't so much a hall as it was a gauntlet. Three staggered Sentries all facing forward and George at the far end tending to the first one. The Sappers shook in my hands and before I knew it my feet were carrying me down that hall. Un, deux, trois, I counted as I ran, hands numbly pressing diodes to metal and slapping down the boxes. My empty hands flitted together grabbing for and missing the cloak button on my watch twice before hitting it as I ran past the crouched Engineer."Spah's sappin ma Sentries!" George hollered as he hefted his wrench, swinging it in the air in the direction of my footsteps. He managed to clip my shoulder but the rest of his blows swung wide. As I made it around the corner I saw Engineer rushing in, the very model of concern for his fellow worker. Never mind he had just given me enough hints that I had managed to do this in the first place. I heard the busy clank of wrenches fade away as I ran out of RED base and the two Engineers forgot about the Spy and worked together to dislodge the sappers.As I snuck back to base I congratulated myself. I had finally done it! If I could get away with it, just doing sabotage and a bit of intelligence gathering here and there would be my perfect niche. I felt completely elated! Despite that, something was nibbling at the back of my mind underneath the rush of success. When did "that Engineer" become "Engineer" to me? I shook the thought out of my head as I neared BLU's entrance; it probably didn't matter anyway. Engineer was still the enemy, albeit a very useful one. It made me wonder, though, what kind of crazy Engineer would help their enemy out anyways?
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For Chapter I, please refer to the Wiki:http://www.danceflower.net/tf2/index.php?title=The_Naive_Spy_-_Chapter_1Chapter III and The Porn is forthcoming. I beg your patience with me. Joens loev words, but Joens must also punch the clock.
Oh gosh, I love this. I'd completely forgotten about the first chapter. Can't wait for more!
:D!!!!!!!!!!!Spah returns!moarmoarmoarmoar
Oh, Jones.I'm not good with giving feedback, so all I can say is that I love what you're doing here. Thank you so much for writing this, it was definitely worth the long wait.I love this story and ILU. I can't wait to have more.(And yes, I am certainly going to illustrate some of this.)
Christ, Polly is so fucking cute. I love this muchly, Jones. I wish I could give awesome comments like you do but words do not come to me very well. HENCE WHY I AM NOT WRITEFAG just ideafag :<I CAN'T WAIT FOR MOAR <3PS: Is 'George' a reference to Nodragog? http://dreadednodrog.deviantart.com/art/Use-More-Gun-74807567TEEHEE
>>2CHAN'S SAPPIN' MAH POSTS! This section was supposed to go after post number two. It's all correct and in order on the Wiki, anyways. :Vhttp://www.danceflower.net/tf2/index.php?title=The_Naive_Spy_-_Chapter_2I once again dashed across the landscape to RED base. This time I was all but invisible to the naked eye instead of the scrawny blue target of yesterday. As I waited behind a low wall for my cloak to recharge I congratulated myself. I wasn't too bad at this. Or in the least getting better. I'd get the drop on that Engineer for sure in a way he'd least expect!I loitered outside of BLU base once I was out of sight of anyone on the upper floor. My plan was perfect. I would sneak in from behind his little cluster of sentries and he'd be none the wiser. He wouldn't expect someone to be coming out of the depths of the base! I grinned to myself. This time, for sure his Sentries would be mine! I prepared my disguise and tried a couple lines of dialog before cloaking and rushing in. My feet carried me quickly past the opening and around a corner. I de-cloaked temporarily and caught my breath. My heart was beating very fast as my brain caught up with me. What if someone saw me de-cloak in the base? I had to be bold and keep going. I was here for but one reason and I had to find a way. Steeling myself I cloaked again and dashed further down the hall past the Engineer's cluster of Sentries. Looking around, I de-cloaked and ran back up to where the Sentries sat, innocently unawares of their fast-approaching future as scrap metal."Hey, how ya doin' Engineer?" I ran up to him doing my best Scout impression. That scuffle with our Scout this morning was all I had needed to be able to mimic his grating American voice. I felt a now familiar hand grip my shoulder."Scouts don't move that slow." This time I was able to steel myself from passing out at the sudden sting of pain. Not that my brave act meant much as a second later I had been knocked out. Again!I awoke later in some unfamiliar corner of RED base. My stomach was flat against the floor and my arms and legs were tied up together over my head. I immediately began to struggle and wriggle around. The strange position coupled with the even tighter bindings got me into a panic. "Now now. Settle down pollywog. You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep that up." A gloved hand patted my head."...Engineer," I greeted him testily. He was perched on a chair next to me looking with those goggle-covered eyes. Well that explained why I was here and how I had ended up like this. I struggled against the knots, trying to loosen them. "Nnngh~. Rrrgh!" I strained, arching my back in a more acute curve. "Where in the world did you learn zese knots?""Calf ropin'." He chuckled, illustrating an imaginary rope-toss. I gave him a sidelong glance as I rocked back and forth on my stomach. He just sat back and let me struggle my way through the knots. I noticed he was holding something in his hands.
There's nothing I can say about this without repeating what everyone else has said. So I will.I love this ongoing saga. It's wonderful. You're wonderful. Polly Spy is wonderful. Wise Engineer is even better. Can't wait for the next installment :D
Joooones. I love this character of yours so much! Such a little underdog, Polly... can't wait for more tales of everyone's favorite bumbling spy.
I LIKE POLLY GUDWRITE MOAR
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRR