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No. 22158
>>22119
I couldn't get this image out of my head. So I made this.
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It was supposed to be the perfect Valentines. A saccharine little card, a love song on his guitar, dinner, and an appearance by a certain winged cherub to top the night off. Engineer had already picked out the perfect card and fine tuned his guitar, and just yesterday, he’d placed a call to the nearby Hallmark store for a Cupid dress-up to show up at his wife’s favorite restaurant for when she showed up. By the time ceasefire was called and evening had approached, Engineer was pulling his card out and was on his way to the restaurant, whistling as he drove his pickup. When he came up to the restaurant and got out of the car, though, he was assailed by the most surreal sight he’d witnessed since his last business meeting in Amsterdam.
“When oim feelin’ blue, all oi have to do is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue…” a tall, lanky man wearing nothing but an akubra, a pair of wings and a loincloth was singing at the front of the eatery, only a few steps from the curb. Engineer was so surprised that he didn’t recognize the man at first, but when he recovered himself, he realized it was their /Sniper/, in a cupid outfit. His huntsman was in his hand, and all the arrows had been fitted over with plush hearts.
“Sniper?” as he said it, Engineer suddenly recalled Sniper’s recent ceasefire job, and it dawned on him. Sniper stopped singing and opened his eyes, realizing it was Engineer he had been serenading.
“T-truckie?” Sniper asked, suddenly covering himself up. “/You’re/ the person with the red pickup I’m supposed to see?!”
“Uh…I guess so,” Engineer said, staring at Sniper with a befuddled expression. “And you’re…?”
“I-it’s a partoime job, yeh,” Sniper said, adjusting his loincloth. The two men stared dumbly at each other for a moments, and Engineer raised his finger to ask a question, only to stop and put it down after a moment. “Th-this is for ya woife, roight?”
“O’course!” Engineer said, a bit defensively. He looked past the half-naked Australian to see if she was anywhere nearby. “She should be here any second-”
“Harold?!” Engineer swiveled around to see his wife standing behind him, wearing a shocked countenance. She looked from him to Sniper, and then back. Engineer suddenly realized how strange it must look, for him to be talking to a man wearing nothing but a loincloth in the middle of the street. “Is this what it looks like?!”
“Wha’? No! Darlin, this is just a coworker-” Engineer began hastily, taking a glance back at Sniper, who just stood their helplessly.
“A coworker?! You’re taking a /coworker/ to /our/ dinner?!” Her voice raised an octave in fury.
“No! No, darlin it’s not like that-” Just then, Sniper, thinking it’s the most opportune time, bursts into song.
“When oim feelin’ blue, all oi have to do is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue,” He meant to sing it to Engineer’s wife, but he looked at Engineer as he sung. This did not go unnoticed.
“I’m out of here!” Engineer’s wife said, turning around and going back to her car. “If taking some slutty coworker out to dinner is your way of celebrating Valentine’s, then you can sleep on the couch!” before Engineer could stop her, she had gotten into her car and driven off, leaving the poor Texan in the dust. Engineer looked as her car drove off and sighed, crumpling his letter slightly in his palm. Sniper walked over next to him.
“Way to overreact on her part,” the Australian said, adjusting his wings. “Hey, truckie, oi think oi got a coupon to the place…wanna get some grub before goin’ home?”
Engineer sighed and rubbed his forehead. As erudite as he was, even /he/ didn’t have the words to express how he was feeling. So, he decide to not even try. “Sure, Sniper.” he said as he walked back to the restaurant. He stored the card in his pocket, not even sure if he’d need it anymore. Some Valentines indeed.
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