Well, I don’t know what inspired this, really. Sometime in between my boredom of everyday life and my complete disregard for the millions of things I have to do currently, I decided I wanted to explore a deeper, darker, and altogether more abstract side of TF2, which I’m sure we’ve all thought about at least once. So enjoy. I’m new to TF2, and new to TF2chan, so I’m hoping for a bit of a warm welcome. If not, feel free to come to my door step and rip me limb from limb. Either way is fine, really. Anyway, this is more of a test intro than anything. If people like it, I’ll continue. And if ya couldn’t figure it out, I don’t write fan fictions very often lol. And yes, I plan for there to be some necrophilia. Let’s see how long it takes people to guess who.


There was no way to describe what it felt like to come into being. One moment he had been empty space; essentially, he had been little more than a simple void in the endless universe. And yet, the next moment, he was a living, breathing, thinking creature. In reality, this wasn’t possible, and he knew in his own mind that this couldn’t be the case. One did not simply come into being; they were born, and progressed from one point in life to another. But what those steps had been were a mystery in their own right. It seemed as if he had skipped from point A to point B, and, quite frankly, that idea alone was unnerving.

Were humans born with a subconscious knowledge of whom they were and where they had come from? He knew somehow that he was the Engineer, although what that meant and why it was important was indiscernible to him. But it did indeed seem to be something he should know, and so he stored it in his memory for further use. His existence, however, when it didn’t pertain to this seemingly substantial piece of information, was blank and meaningless. He knew he should have some sort of life, and some sort of past, but his mind was completely blank. So when he found himself awake in some sort of damp, dusty room, probably crawling with various molds and dust mites based on the odd air quality that was choking his lungs, he couldn’t help but wonder how he had gotten there.

He didn’t have time to wonder for long. Before he had a chance to even look around, a lamp was turned into his face, effectively blinding his line of sight. But somehow, he could feel eyes staring into him, as if someone were trying to bore holes into his soul with their eyes. There was no way to tell who these people were, or what they were even doing, thanks to the light hanging over him. Nevertheless, there were indeed people there, and he thought he could just barely get an idea of where they were as his eyes tried to adjust. They seemed to be running…Tests of some sort. Were they testing him? If it was him they were testing, which was quite probable, why, and for what purpose?

As he tried to clear his head, which wasn’t exactly as clear as day at the moment, he realized that he had questions that needed to be answered. “Who….Am I…?” he croaked softly, looking blearily towards the beings that held him captive. His throat felt like sandpaper as he tried to force words out, and running a dry tongue over his cracked lips didn’t help him in the least. He was parched, and his head was swimming. But these questions plagued his mind, and thus, could not be stopped. “Why…Was I born…? Why am I here…?”

Apparently, when you were blinded and strapped to some sort of table (either that, or just too drugged to be able to do anything, as Engineer couldn’t muster up the strength to move an inch) you weren’t supposed to ask questions. The people surrounding him all seemed to glance at each other, and murmured softly, so that their test subject wouldn’t hear. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway, even if they had screamed it; Engineer’s head was far too jumbled to process what they were saying. But when they loomed over him, intent on sticking a needle into him, the Engineer’s mind was not too jumbled to realize that this was bad, and that he really didn’t want them to do that.

The man’s eyes widened and he began to thrash around violently as fear overrode whatever had him paralyzed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that whatever was in that needle would make him lose even more himself than was already gone. God, he couldn’t lose anymore. He had to understand himself, and who he really was. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew that if he lost that information, it would never come back.

The needle did not get the chance to pierce his skin. Outside of wherever he was being held, there was a large crash, and the people surrounding him, looking up in serious concern at the sound, didn’t hesitate in running towards the source, evidently panicked of whatever was happening. In their rush and confusion, there was a wet crash as, hopefully, the needle they were holding hit the ground. It would have been the perfect moment to slip away, if Engineer’s body had been responding to what he wanted it to do. But as fate would have it, straining his body earlier when he had thrashed around had caused more of a daze than before. The room wasn’t just spinning around him anymore; it was spinning, moving towards and away from him at once, then the ground was the ceiling, or maybe the other way around, and god, he was going to be sick.

As his vision started to fade to black, he saw people close in on him again, and, unable to protest, he sunk into a murky, nightmarish darkness.


The next time Engineer came around, he was no longer in that same, blinding room. He could see around him now. The room was no longer damp and murky, but rather, sterile and smelling of various disinfectants. It was well-lit, and the walls were a nice, calming white.

Engineer, no longer strapped down or drugged or anything, found that he was now able to move. He sat up on the flat medical cot he had been laying on, and looked around.

Standing with his back to the Engineer was a man dressed in a white doctor’s coat, and red gloves adorning his hands. The other man hadn’t noticed Engineer was awake yet, and was busy studying a clip board that he had written on. Sitting next to him, easily in reach should the man need it, was a wicked looking bone saw, with edges gleaming maliciously in the light. For a moment, the confused Engineer began to panic, thinking that he would be getting something much worse than a needle. But a pair of large hands came down on his shoulders from behind, stopping him from making a run for it.

“Whoa, whoa, leetle man. Do not thrash and make big noise. Doktor not hurt. Much.” The Engineer jumped and twisted around, startled as he looked towards the great mammoth of a man that had been evidently watching him. He was at least two times bigger than the Engineer, although that could have been his still-foggy mind playing tricks on him. The man with the Russian accent had a massive gun slung over his back, which was definitely every bit as scary as the saw. As the Russian began to boom with amused laughter at Engineer’s terrified expression, the “Doktor”, as he had been referred to, turned around, ready to examine his now awake patient. The patient, however, couldn’t see what was so funny to the Russian; that crazy doctor had a bone saw. Bone saws were not funny.

“So you have finally come around, eh? You have been quite out of it for quite zome time.” Engineer looked at him, and, deciding he couldn’t possibly be as bad as those other people from before, he straightened up, trying to calm himself down.

“W..Where am ah?” he asked, his thick southern drawl contrasting to the others’ foreign accents. “Who…Who were those people?” The German doctor raised an eyebrow at him.

“People? Vhat people?”

“Th…Th’ones…Th’ones that took mah memories…Where are they?? Who were they?” Engineer asked, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. These two had to have seen them, right? He didn’t just teleport from that room to here, after all. At his confused rambling, the doctor and the giant looked at each other, and burst into laughter.

“Took your memories? Dumkopf. Nobody took your memories. People can’t take peoples memories.” the doctor chided, shaking his head in amusement. The other man, the Russian one, grinned, clapping Engineer on the back.

“Leetle man iz crazy. Memories are in head. Did you hit head, leetle man? Maybe zat is vhy you have no memories.” Engineer glared at him.

“I didn’t hit mah head! I’m telling yeh, those crazy fucks took ‘em! I dunno how, or why, but they did!” God, why wouldn’t anyone believe him? He was telling the truth! Couldn’t they see that?!

As he stared at them, trying to figure out if they were messing with his head or not, a new person entered the infirmary. The new man in question was big; not big as in the way the Russian was. The Russian was huge in terms of weight and height. This new man was big in terms of attitude and of brawn. This was the sort of man who, if he wanted something done, it had better be done, and to his exact specifications, or else. If he asked you to jump, you were to ask how high, do double that amount, and then do it again, just to be sure. That is, if you wanted your head to stay in tact in tact. And as if his overpowering aura wasn’t enough, this man was also unreadable thanks to a helmet that hid the upper half of his face from view. He was even dressed the part. His red outfit looked like it had come straight out of the battle field. It was even adorned with medals; though Engineer was pretty sure they were hand-crafted.

“Listen up, private!” Engineer looked up at him instead of his uniform, feeling he would be yelled at if he didn’t. “If there was any, AND I MEAN ANY, memory stealin’ going on here, I WOULD KNOW. You have now entered my domain, MAGGOT, and in my domain, I know what goes on!” The man approached him, and leaned down, sneering into Engineer’s face, obviously in an attempt to intimidate him into submission. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, PRIVATE?!”

“Er….” Engineer frowned, not sure how to respond to this. Would it be better to ignore him, in hopes that he went away, or feed his ego as the boot camp-esque sergeant he obviously thought himself to be?

“I SAID ‘DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME’?!”

“S…Sir, yessir, Sir…”

“WHAT WAS THAT, MAGGOT?! I COULDN’T HEAR YOU!” the sergeant yelled into his face, effectively covering him in spittle. Engineer grimaced at this. The doctor, on the other hand, had evidently put up with enough of the yelling. He growled and pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously used to dealing with situations like these, and thus, not scared of the otherwise loud, obnoxious, and fearsome man. He stepped in between the Engineer and the sergeant, pushing the unwelcomed visitor towards the door, growling German obscenities as he did.

“Ach! Die patient is still groggy, und du helpfst nicht! Dumkopf! Out! Out vith you!” he snapped. The man in the army attire growled, glaring at the doctor from behind his helmet as he was pushed out.

“DO NOT THINK I AM DONE WITH YOU, PRIVATE!” he yelled, not willing to lose an arm by arguing with the doctor. When the door was successfully closed and locked, he cursed loudly at them from outside the door. The doctor rolled his eyes, gritted his teeth, and grabbed his clipboard. The Engineer raised an eyebrow as the cussing continued outside.

“Issit always like that aroun’ here?” he inquired, looking from the doctor to the Russian. The Russian nodded in confirmation.

“Da. Leetle Soldier like to control everyzing. Iz loud man, but bark is worze than bite. You ignore, maybe he go avay.” Engineer nodded. Ok. So that was a natural occurrence. It hadn’t been just the man picking on him. That was good.

“OK. That sets m’heart at ease. Hey….If yeh dun’ mind me askin’, where am ah?” Engineer asked, looking around. “Why’m ah here? An’ who are yeh people?” The gargantuan monster behind him, who now moved to stand next to the doctor, grinned and began to stroke his Minigun (boy, what idiot had come up with the name for that one?) affectionately.

“I am Heavy. And zis leetle beauty is Sasha. Who iz good Sasha? You are. Yes you are.” The Russian cooed, stroking the gun affectionately. Engineer couldn’t help but smile a bit. It was definitely an odd thing, talking to a gun. But it was…Amusing, to say the least. And apparently he wasn’t the only one to think so. The doctor couldn’t keep back a chuckle at his comrade’s interesting habit.

“Und ich bin Medic. You may call me Medic. Or Doctor. It does not matter. You vill still depend on me for all medicine.” His smile disappeared, however, at Engineer’s second question. “You vere not informed of vhy ve are here?” Engineer cocked his head, and shrugged.

“I dunno. Like ah said, those bastards took mah mem’ries. Even if yeh dun’ believe me, it’s th’truth.” Heavy frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. He looked at Medic, as if to shed some light on the situation. But Medic just shrugged at him, just as confused as his comrade.

“Vell…Zimply put…Ve are merzenaries. Ve vork for RED: Reliable Excavazion Demolizion. Ve fight against BLU: Builders League United, as die sind rivals. You haff been hired by RED to be our engineer.” Engineer frowned heavily. So that explained why he knew himself as Engineer; maybe he had been informed of this early on, and had forgotten it when he lost his memory.

“So…’cordin’ to what yer sayin’…We’re enemies with BLU?” Medic nodded.

“Ja. Das ist correct. BLU sind einen Ungeheuer. Dey kill us, ve kill dem.” Medic told him, examining his medical tools a bit, before approaching Engineer. “Now, if you are done vith die questions, it is about time fur deiner physical. Ve must make sure you are ready fur die var.” Although Engineer complied with the doctor’s orders, (the man still had a bonesaw just behind him) his questions had not all been answered. Quite the opposite was true, really.

Now he had more questions than ever before.