Wow, I was in love with this fic... and then soldier turned into a dominatrix. Where the fuck did that come from? One second he doesn't know how to give head or touch a man, then suddenly he feels the need to dominate Engineer. Your writing is fantastic and your pacing was perfect -- wonderful build-up with tension -- but halfway through you ruined it by turning the fic into something it's not. Write two fanfictions: one where Jane is an awkward, unsure mess and another where he's a dominating drill sargeant. They don't work together.