Aw, screw it, I'm still awake. Two chapters tonight! ~~~Ch. 6~~~ MEDIC'S PAST ~~~ It is still difficult to believe, sometimes-- every morning there is a moment of confusion where I almost don't-- that it's over. That I have just woken up in my own bed, in my own home. That I have a life now, a job. It is below my skill level, but it is more than fine, to live on. When they came to liberate us, I discarded the shirt of my prison uniform, told one of the soldiers that I was a political prisoner. It worked... I had a clean slate, and a medical degree. It was enough to let me come to America, a post-war refugee. I am working late at the hospital, when I am summoned to one of the private rooms. There are two men there when I arrive-- one, perhaps a little younger than myself, smartly dressed and standing at attention, like a valet. The man in the bed, I cannot estimate any age for. His head is wrapped in bandages. When the two confer, it is in German, though I cannot understand the patient through his bandages. Still, the valet I hear. 'I found you a German doctor, like you told me'. "I'm afraid that I might not be the best-suited for your case. I will be happy to assist and to translate for you, but if you require facial reconstruction-- that is not the kind of surgery I perform." I apologize. "I don't need facial reconstruction." He says, as the valet unwraps the bandages past his mouth. "I have cancer. I had to come someplace where they can treat it. Karl!" The valet stops unwrapping, leaving just the lowest bit of nose visible. "First, tell me, Doctor Vogel, what did you do during the war?" During the war. I grimace, but it's not as though he can see. "For a while I was a field medic and surgeon on the Russian front. That was before they sent me to Auschwitz." "Good. Karl," The valet continues unwinding the bandages. There is a certain something familiar, but it isn't until he finishes, until the eyes are uncovered, that I recognize the man. "You may go." He tells the valet, Karl. Karl leaves. With the valet gone, I bring over an IV stand. A paralytic would be good... would be important. "I am afraid you have made an error." I say, strapping his wrists to the bed. He coughs. "You haven't even examined me yet." "No. I remember you-- my appearance has changed much more than yours has, though it's funny you don't recall my name. Well, after a time, they all run together, don't they? Still, for a time, you knew me. They sent me to Auschwitz to work." "You were another one of the research assistants?" "No. They sent me. To Auschwitz. To work." His eyes widen. Fear. It's a remarkably nice sight. He tries to jerk away. "Get your filthy Jew hands off me," "I was raised Lutheran, actually." I say mildly. "Not that I think you will be much happier to have a homosexual doctor." "... Vogel?" "See, you do remember me." I smile. "I remember you, more than any of the doctors and more than any of the guards, even if you were just an assistant. You joked with me-- remember? One of those experiments you didn't have the time or the authorization to do. Something about cutting my arm off-- ah, we laughed about that one, didn't we?" "It was my job!" "It was your job to take samples, and even that was done poorly." I say, dismissive. "It was not exactly your job to posit that I had hollow bones." "I..." His voice sounds strangled. When he tries to shout for Karl, he barely makes a sound. "Of course, all jokes aside, I am a human being, and therefore I do not have hollow bones. Which as a... 'doctor' yourself, perhaps you ought to know. But, if you need a refresher course, I can help you." He shakes his head. I pick up the scalpel. "Oh, don't worry. I take my work seriously. If I find any cancer, I'll be sure to remove it." His eyes dart to the side, towards the IV stand. "Oh! Silly me. You're right, the anaesthesia is separate. You're not hooked up to any. I thought it was appropriate, all things considered." He passes out, before I can even show him a cross-section of one of his own bones. Ah well. I remove the whole set anyway. ~~~ THE PRESENT ~~~ Monday morning, everything gets off to a good start. With the medigun and I behind him, my Heavy is an unstoppable force, cutting through the enemy as though they were nothing. "MEDIC!" "The Engineer?" I pause. "He had his Dispenser set up, I had not heard that it was destroyed..." "I go with you. If Dispenser is good, get more bullets. Kill more cowards." Heavy flashes me a grin. "Yes, but..." But if the Dispenser is working, why does he need me? "MEDIC!" Well, clearly he does. When we reach the Engineer's nest, we find all his machines in operation, and the Soldier slumped against the Dispenser with his arms around his midsection. "Can't find any blood, wound's been healed up, but there's something my Dispenser just ain't fixin', and I can't find a problem." He pauses to scratch at his forehead, under the hardhat. "Figured you might know what was wrong." I begin my examination, despite his weak protests. My Heavy and the Engineer's Sentry keep the rest of us safe, as the Engineer holds the Soldier down and I try to find the cause of the problem. "Does it hurt when I do this?" I prod at his midsection. "NO! I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP, SISTER, I AM PERFECTLY-- AOOOOW!" "And here?" "YES, IT HURTS! IT HURTS, YOU NAZI SADIST, STOP POKING ME!" I stand. "That's enough. I am a doctor, Herr Soldier. And I am going to spare you a lot of pain and suffering, because contrary to your beliefs, I am not-- I have never been-- If you call me a Nazi one more time while I am trying to help you, I may enjoy a little exercise in sadism, but I promise you, I am your teammate, and your health is my priority. Do we understand each other?" "I... don't understand... anything right now..." He squints. "A whooole lot of weakness is leaving my body." I snort. "I'm afraid to break it to you, but pain is not weakness leaving the body. It appears to be appendicitis. When is the last time you died?" "Thursday." Engineer supplies. "Remember he made it all through Friday, it was in the scores." "Mm. Respawn will have kept bringing him back to life in a less advanced stage, but a long weekend without dying and-- and re-setting himself-- will have pushed things too long." "We're in the middle of a battle." The Engineer says. "Keep the Dispenser operational, it will be necessary. And you will have to make sure the updates are made so that he respawns without his appendix next time, or I will have to do this all over again." I set down the medigun, keeping it close at hand, and employ the bonesaw. It's all I have. It has been a long time, since I've done a real field surgery. Still... some things are like riding a bicycle. The constant low healing beam of the Dispenser keeps him from bleeding out while I work, and once I have his appendix out, I grab up the medigun-- I don't dare charge him completely, the diseased organ will only come back, but enough to put him almost into one piece. "Go to the infirmary." I tell him. "Sit out the rest of the battle. I will see you at the end of the day. The follow up will be much more pleasant... Unless, of course, I catch you out on the battlefield before you have my permission." He opens his mouth to argue, but both my Heavy and the Engineer are behind me on this one, and he slinks off, his rocket launcher dragging along the ground. I find him in a bed in the infirmary afterward, perform a proper surgery. "I cannot use the medigun on you again, I'm sorry." "What? Doc, when will I be able to fight?" "As soon as the respawn system is updated." I blink. "Once you are sure to come back without the problem appendix, you are free to rush out into battle. After the first respawn without, I will be able to use the medigun on you freely." "Yeah, well... How long do you think it'll take?" He crosses his arms, wincing when it pulls the IV lead. "That is a question for the Engineer. I am sure he will bring you the good news before long." "Look, the appendix isn't a problem, Doc, I need to be on that battlefield. If I just get killed every day, it won't get that bad!" "No!" I snap. "Herr Soldier, you may not like me very much, and I accept that. Worse men than you have held greater hatred. But I am your doctor, and when I give you a medical order, you will follow it, the same as you would expect me to follow an order in combat. If I tell you you are not to fight until your health is no longer in jeopardy, then you will stay exactly where I have put you, or so help me, I will keep you drugged to the gills until you cannot move! And while I am healing you, I demand your respect. I am not asking for your friendship, I cannot force your opinions, but you will treat me in a civilized manner when I am the man saving your life! I deserve this much." He opens and closes his mouth several times. "Thanks." He finally says, not looking at me. "You are welcome. An alarm will sound if you try to leave this infirmary without my approval. Try to rest and feel better." From the infirmary, I go outside. Heavy is on the battlements, watching the sun set. "Doktor. How did you know to find me?" "I didn't." I admit. "I thought I would be alone with my thoughts out here. But... We can both be alone with my thoughts." "Your thoughts will keep company with my thoughts." He smiles, slipping his arm around my shoulders. "Is fine... what you say the other night. Understand this. Loving other men this way illegal also in Russia. Did not take many risks. Never wanted to go back to gulag." "That's... like a prison, yes?" "Not prison, exactly. Work-camp." "You-- You were sent to a labor camp?" "Labor camp, yes. Politics. My whole family is sent. But we escape." My heart is thundering in my ears. I don't have to keep this a secret, then, don't have to worry that he will think differently of me, when all along he has been the one man who might understand... "I want to explain, about last night." I say. "The reason I was so scared." "Is fine, I already understand." "No, more than that--" I start. I don't get to finish before the blinding pain, before things go dark. When I wake up, I am in the infirmary bed next to the Soldier's, and everyone is staring at me.