Here’s a not-well-known fact. He hated the circus. More than doctors, dentists, or even flat soda. The clowns were the worst. They were creepy, face-painted FIENDS with no souls and no friends. He’d gone with his mom to the circus to see the elephants. Because what fucking little kid DIDN’T want to see fucking elephants? Honestly. Music trickled out in the background as he munched on his funnel cake and wandered around, trying to find a good spot to see the show. His mom was holding his hand. There were people around. But there were always people around. It was the circus. People liked going there. For some reason, eating the funnel cake was really hard. He kept remembering biting into it and chewing, but he couldn’t seem to taste anything. After a moment’s frustration, he realized he’d never bitten into it at all. “Ma—?†Suddenly, he realized he wasn’t holding his mom’s hand like he thought he was. He whirled around, eyes widened in panic. “Ma?†Had he let go without thinking? Did she tell him to stay put and he hadn’t heard her? He thought he’d heard his name, but the music and the murmurings of the crowd were too loud. “M…Ma?! Has anyone seen my ma?!†His young voice was peaked with fear. He was lost in a dark jungle of legs. He didn’t know where to go. That stupid music… WHY didn’t it shut up?! “Hello? Hello?†None of the people had faces. They should have had faces, but they didn’t. They were still talking in that low, droning murmur. He could still feel them looking at him. They didn’t have eyes, but they were looking at him. The music swirled crazy. He felt dizzily. Heart racing. Eyes darting. Racing. “Mom! MOM! Please! Somebody!†In the bathroom now. Still music. Looks into a mirror. CLOWN. He couldn’t see past the yellow eyes, white face, and red hair. Crimson lips. Him? Screamed. Stepped back. Lost his balance, and falling. Falling backwards, into the darkness, and screaming. He saw his mother now. She was on the edge screaming. For him. A hand lead her away from the edge. Alone now. Music. Dark. There was a ragged gasp as Scout’s eyes fluttered open. He panted harshly for a moment, heart pounding. He still wasn’t quite sure if it’d all been a dream or not. He was drenched in sweat, his mouth ached and tasted like shit warmed over, and he was… laying down? There was one bleary blink, then two as he tried to clear his vision. That’s when he realized the music from his dream had never actually stopped. He listened carefully, and before long, it transformed from its loopy, warped, circus-like tune into a pleasant, upbeat melody. Peering between the bars of a cage he was inexplicably in, his eyes came to rest on Engineer’s stocky form, sitting with his heels kicked up on a nearby desk, strumming his guitar, and singing in a low, husky voice. “Near a tree by a river, there's a hole in the ground, where an old man of Aran goes around and around…†the man crooned softly, stroking the instrument with an odd tenderness. “And his mind is a beacon in the veil of the night; for a strange kind of fashion, there's a wrong and a right. But he'll never, never fight over you…†There was a pause as Engineer’s eyes flickered up to Scout’s face. A grin. “Oh, man. Can’t tell ya how glad I am t’see ya awake. You had me worried, there.†Engineer wasn’t sure what to expect the kid’s response to be. He’d imagined an entire list, from a heartfelt, “Thank you…†to a fearful, “Where am I? What’s going on?†He was sorely unprepared for Scout’s actual response, which was a venomous, “Fuck you.†The man nearly fell over in his chair from the harsh words. “E-Excuse me?!†“You heard me. Fuck. You,†the boy sneered, sitting up as best as he could. He glanced around the bars of the cage he was locked in. “I know what this is. You’ve come to bargain for fuckin’ sex. You save me from the Masked Psycho and I become YOUR pretty little ass-slave instead. Well, fuck you, pal.†He clenched his jaw with a smoldering determination. “I’m NOT becoming this entire base’s fucking slut. You’ll have to kill me first.†Even as he spoke, a small quiver overtook his voice. He swallowed forcefully past the lump forming in his throat and choked back the tears. It took a moment for Engineer to recover from the vicious retort. He laid the guitar down and raised his hands in a nonthreatening way. “Look… Calm your horses, now. I’m not here to—†Scout cut him off with a snort and a nasty smile. “Oh, hey. Looks like you CAN talk, after all, huh?†It turned into a horrid snarl just as quickly. “Would’ve been nice to know when I was rottin’ in that fuckin’ cellar in the DARK all those days.†Engineer returned it with a scowl of his own. “Well, this ain’t really the way t’treat someone who just saved your damn life.†Scout barked out a laugh. “Yeah right. ‘Someone who saved my life’ my ass! WHERE WERE YOU THE LAST FEW FUCKING DAYS, HUH?! Why didn’t you save me THEN?!†Engineer winced, and tried to respond, but Scout wasn’t done yet. “I BEGGED YOU! You KNEW what he was doing to me! You KNEW it, but you didn’t do SHIT! You’re just as bad as he is – no – WORSE!!! Because you saw it and knew it was wrong and didn’t do SHIT! Or did you want to wait until you were sure you could have me all to yourself, you fucking fa—†Engineer jumped to his feet, crossed the room with two easy strides, and slammed his fist on the bars of the cage so hard, the medical equipment rattled. Scout jumped out of his skin and hid behind his blanket, trembling. “God DAMN it, you FUCKING little idiot!†he exploded, eyes blazing like the sun. “I’M NOT LIKE HIM!!!†Scout just stared at him from behind his blanket, still shaking like a leaf. There was silence, and then a tiny sob filled the silence. Engineer immediately felt guilty, seeing the kid’s fearful, tear-filled eyes, but was too proud to admit it. He sighed, took a step back, and folded his arms. “Alright… Sorry. You’ve got e’ery right to be suspicious an’ e’erythang,†he muttered, glaring off to the side. “But I’ve taken a lot of risks to getcha here, and I don’t appreciate it bein’ thrown back in my face like that.†Scout wiped his eyes, trying to put back on his best brave face. His voice still quivered as he asked, “Well, what is it that you want from ME, then?†Engineer thought about this. “Well… Nothin’, I guess—†“Bullshit. Everyone wants somethin’.†“Well, it’s true,†Engineer snapped back. Another sigh. “Look. I’m not askin’ you to trust me, alright? I’m just asking you to… Let me HELP you,†he fumbled out. There was a pause as Scout glared holes into Engie’s skull, as if trying to read his mind. Engineer just gazed uncomfortably back. Finally, there was a smirk, and Scout sank back on his pillow, eyes knowing. “Oh, I see… You’re one of THOSE types… You doin’ this to ease your conscience? To help you forget what you saw? To convince yourself you’re still a good man or some shit?†At Engineer’s wince, Scout chuckled and closed his eyes. Several uncomfortable seconds of silence ticked by as Scout took some time to rest after his emotional outburst. Engineer was just about to assume he’d drifted off to sleep, when those icy blues opened once more. Determination shone in Scout’s eyes. “You really wanna help me out, Cowpoke? Set me free.†“I cain’t do that, pardner.†“Ha! I knew it.†Scout glared bitterly at him. He should have guessed. Want of redemption only went so far, after all. “Oh yeah?!†Engineer ground his teeth, clutching one of the bars and pressing his forehead against the cool metal in order to quell his escalating headache. “And what would you have me do, you gotdamn MORON?! Where the hell are you gonna run on THAT leg?! Where can you go where they won’t find you?! Do you even know where you are?! Where the nearest BLU base is?! You’ll get us BOTH killed!†Scout somberly thought this over, the color draining from his face. Finally, a sigh. “Well then… Guess the only other option is to kill me,†he muttered. “Just end it all.†“I can’t do that, either.†“WHY the hell not?!†Scout snapped, tears of fury burning his eyes. “You said it yourself – there’s nowhere I can go at this point! Hell, even if there was…†He glanced down at his shattered leg, and gave a heartbroken sigh. “I… I wouldn’t really be livin’, anyways. Not like this.†Engineer shot him a look of sympathy, and sighed, lowering his gaze to his boots. “Well… I can’t do that. Soldier’s my superior, an’ he ain’t given the orders to… yanno. Not yet.†Scout rolled over and stared at the wall. “So. You’re tellin’ me that you can’t let me go, but you can’t kill me, either? I’m not really livin’, but I’m not allowed to die?†Engineer rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I… I guess so, pardner,†he muttered. “… Well. Alright then.†Engineer waited, but after fifteen solid minutes of silence, he figured the kid was done talking for the day. As he shut the heavy door to his workshop, he pretended not to notice the stifled sobs coming from the trembling form on the bed. Things were going to be a lot tougher than he’d previously thought. ~~~~~~ Here's the song mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DcfXVL0mh0&feature=relmfu and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN04vtNcrek (original version)