After all this dumb luck and shameless manipulation, I'm really starting to crave an ending where Heavy pulls out all the stops, pours a lot of booze down Medic's throat and carefully manoeuvres him towards the nearest storage closet, and hears, "Oh, I'm sorry, Heavy, but I prefer my men who are less bulky and standing around the battlements screaming about America. I hope we can stay marvellous friends."