For months now, I kept glancing at this story and meaning to read it. I just got around to it today, and pushed through the whole thing. I thought I'd enjoy it- I really wanted to enjoy it, for that matter- but it's kind of bothered me so far. Your writing is easy to follow and I don't think you should stop or totally change your plans for this story. What follows is just my opinion, and as such it's purely objective; you don't have to take it seriously. If you're open to criticism, though, here goes... Is it necessary for your Heavy to behave like a narcissistic psychopath, for him to appear "intellectual"? Why exactly is Heavy so interested in Medic that he's going to these ridiculous lengths to try and have sex with him? Heavy's working behind the guy's back, trying to break up his marriage, spending hours doing menial tasks for him... yet Medic seems to have no qualities that interest Heavy besides his appearance. Heavy honestly seems to think he's introverted, neglectful, and boring. Moreover, Medic has shown no sexual interest in anything, let alone big men. What kind of relationship does Heavy expect he'll have with Medic? Heavy goes out with Engineer and RED Demoman, and pretends he's their friend, but inside he's only interested in manipulating them. He repeatedly tells himself everybody thinks he's a big dumb brute, then plays dumb to make them think that. He's being an awful person, and even the moments where he acts concerned about Ilse's well-being seem like a weak justification for his selfish behaviour. I suppose this is fanfic and not a morality play or a fable. It'll probably end with Heavy seducing Medic, but I'll be honest... I'd like to see all of Heavy's scheming and condescension towards everybody explode in his face. However it ends, this story would turn out much more satisfying if Heavy first has to learn a couple lessons about using people, and meddling in their lives.