Oh wow... um... sorry? I didn't mean to offend anyone but thanks for being honest with your criticisms. It's hard to think of convincing ways for Sniper and GLaDOS to have sex and the workings of the Portal guns-- and I know it takes a little bit of... a suspension of belief but again, sorry. I hope you guys can still enjoy this for what it is, if not, sorry again. --- Soft, cricket-like noises tumbled out of Orange, its hand spread out over Blue’s dark optic. Spy was still staring at the gun in Sniper’s hand and just barely managed to hold his share of Blue’s weight. BLUs base was lit up like a Christmas tree, and Sniper managed to pull open RED’s warehouse door and get the four of them inside. “I hope you’re not set on keeping these two a secret.†Spy grunted. “Because they’re hard to hide.†Lights began to go up in RED, and Sniper knew that the Spy was right. He adjusted Blue’s weight o his shoulder and managed a humorless smile. “We need Engie anyway.†The Spy sighed but nodded. “Fine.†They began the slow trek inside the hallways. “This is worth more than a favor, just so you know.†Sniper rolled his eyes but kept moving. The doors to his teammate’s quarters started opening, and Scout scooted over the tiles in his boxers and tank top, bat in hand. “What the—†The bat clattered to the ground. “The aliens!†He pointed at them. “Holy shit, Sniper what are you doing—?†“Shut the fuck up and—†Scout’s mouth fell open as Sniper ground his teeth together. “Get Engie!†It was probably the fact that Sniper actually swore that made Scout bolt to do as he was told. He came back in record time with a half-awake Engie. “Dear Mary Mother of God.†He rubbed his eyes. “What… what are they?†“Couldn’t tell ya.†Sniper felt numb. “The real question is, can you fix ‘im?†:::: Engie’s workroom was worn in, homey. He wiped sweat from his brow as he gently moved his fingers inside of Blue. It made Sniper dizzy to watch, but he didn’t dare look away. Orange fidgeted nervously next to Scout and the Spy smoked a cigarette, his hands trembling slightly. “I… Sniper, I ain’t a miracle worker.†Engie’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve never seen something like this before—I wouldn’t know where to start.†The defeat in the slouch in Engie’s spine was unmistakable, but Sniper knew the spark of intelligent curiosity when he saw it. “You’re the only one who’s got a shot at this.†Sniper swallowed the hot bubble in his throat. “Your counterpart on the BLU side knew how to take him apart. C’mon, Engie, you know you can put him back together.†Orange let out a low but hopeful chirp. Engie glanced at Orange, his blue eyes soft, oddly soft for a man of combat. “I can’t—I—†“Bullshit, man.†Everyone turned to stare at the Scout, whose cheeks went pink before he continued. “You’re a freakin’ genius.†By the time the Engineer took a deep breath and got to work the whole team was up and Scout was filling them in, his free hand on Orange’s shoulder. Spy was on his second pack of cigarettes when Engie hooked up electrical cables to Blue’s back. “All right.†Engie licked his lips. “If anyone wants to pray, this is the time to do it.†Scout crossed himself. Sniper murmured softly under his breath and the Demoman bowed his head with a “Sweet Jesus,†the Soldier took off his helmet, and Pyro clasped his gloved hands together. The Medic and Heavy were quiet but their eyes were wide and trained on Blue’s body. Engie went to the wall where he hooked up the power cords to the wall. He pulled the lever and all the lights went out in the RED base. Sniper’s heart stuttered to a halt until the lights flickered on—and Blue’s eye lit back up as he sat up, moving woozily but whirring and chirping like his old self. Orange tore his hand out of Scout’s and hugged Blue who weakly patted Orange’s back. Whoops and cheers filled Engie’s workroom. Scout jumped on him and Engie struggled to hold the kid up, his whole body shaking with disbelief. Spy tilted his head back. “Thank God.†Blue pulled out of Orange’s grasp and Sniper didn’t have a choice—he had to hug the bot. He pulled him in tight, his hat falling off. He smiled, his cheek pressed against that cool metal. The hum from Blue made Sniper’s skin buzz, which just made him laugh, and this time he’d admit that he was a bit hysteric. “Here.†Sniper weakly lugged Blue’s gun up. “This is yours, mate.†Blue took the gun and he gave the rest of the team a weak wave. Sniper slid out of the bot’s grip and chuckled. “Man, the missus is gonna kill me.†This time it was the Spy who choked on his cigarette. :::: Due to the chaos that erupted over at BLU base, the war was postponed indefinitely. Sniper would have loved watch the Scout high-five the bots all night, but he had to get them home. Scout gave Blue one of his hats, and he received a tight hug from the robot. “Whoa.†Scout smiled, his feet kicking when he was lifted off the ground. “Easy, buddy.†Blue chirped and let the Scout go in time for Sniper to take away Spy’s cigarettes before the spook smoked himself into Respawn. He took a cigarette for himself and cleared his throat. “Right.†Sniper spun the keys to his van around nervously in his fingers. “We should get going. Who knows how long this standstill is gonna last, and these two have been out for much too long as it is.†The Scout opened his mouth to object but Sniper leveled the kid with a stare that made Scout’s teeth snap together quickly. The Spy walked out to the van with him, still a bit twitchy but his color was better than it was before. He managed to lift his cigarettes back out of Sniper’s pocket and was lighting up another one. Sniper nudged him gently. “Are you all right, mate?†Spy exhaled a large huff of smoke. “Fine.†The spook’s blue eyes rose to meet Sniper’s. “Are you?†Blue and Orange were already piling into the van, prodding the steering wheel. Sniper felt relief—but also severe anxiety over what she was going to do. He let out a quiet breath and shrugged with his the one shoulder that didn’t ache from carrying Blue. “We’ll see.†He tipped his hat to Spy. “Hopefully I won’t be seeing you in Respawn.†He went to get in the van, but then paused. “Could you—make sure no one follows? Tell ‘im if they try I’ll shoot them myself.†Spy flicked his cigarette into the sand. “By the time this is over I won’t know what to do with all my favors.†Sniper almost smiled. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.†Spy’s answering smirk rang a little hollow and Sniper closed the door to his van. Blue and Orange chirped as Sniper slid into the driver’s seat, and their metal hands grasped onto the shelves once Sniper gunned it. :::: Sniper parked a mile away, like usual, but this time Blue and Orange shot portals that cut the trip’s time down in a way that, months ago, Sniper would have thought to be impossible. Instead, he followed them through and was at the facility within seconds. The two more lifts especially for Blue and Orange rose from the floor almost immediately. Blue and Orange went inside, sinking down quickly. Sniper stepped to the glass lift, and when he touched it a harsh electric shock burned his fingers. Jerking his hand away, Sniper waited for her to speak, to say something, anything. Instead, she said nothing, and Sniper leaned his forehead against the glass. It buzzed, a low, warning vibration. “I’m sorry…†The words were choked, and he kissed the glass. Another shock, sharper than the last, stung his lips. It burned enough to make Sniper leap back, covering his mouth. He waited for five minutes, but the doors didn’t open and she didn’t speak. Sniper turned and left, each step heavier than the last. His lips still stung by the time he got back to his van. ::::