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No. 1055
So I had a couple of fics going and I decided I'll stick them up here when I was done, first is a Trucks'n'Vans for LightSwitchRave as my part in a trade.
I may have swallowed a thesaurus recently.

---

The fire in the middle of its little circle of logs crackled and spat happily, Sniper prodded at it with the tip of the metal poker they’d brought with them before settling back on a fold-out chair. Engineer was seated opposite him on his own chair, sipping from a bottle of Blu Streak. Sniper pulled his own bottle from the cooler next to him and raised it, clinking it against Engie’s.

“To good friends and good memories.”

Engineer leapt to the side as the enemy Soldier’s rockets near enough blew him to pieces. He took refuge behind a wall, checking himself over for injuries quickly when he heard a gruff shout of pain- unmistakably a Soldier’s- and Sniper charged around the corner, knocking an arrow in place as he ran. He nodded to the Engineer and took his place opposite him, sheltered by the wall. As the Soldier charged around the corner, Sniper let the arrow loose; it pierced the Soldier’s knee with a wet sounding thunk. The dumpy man keeled forward, carried by his momentum into Engineer’s Gunslinger.

Engie snorted into his beer at the memory, recalling the Soldier’s look of shocked horror as his metal arm shattered his face. Sniper smirked; doing his best impression of Soldier’s dying gurgle.

The enemy’s Spy tore down the corridor, followed very closely by Engineer. The Spy was desperately waiting for his cloak to recharge and was bleeding profusely from a gunshot wound in his side. Engineer was running as fast as his little legs would carry him, slowly falling behind the Spy as he struggled to load the bullets for his shotgun and keep an eye on the Spy at the same time. The Frenchman clutched his side, stumbling ever so slightly as he tried to keep the relentless pace up. The exit was just ahead of them, the sudden sunlight bright and annoying, the Spy put his free hand over his eyes to shield from the blinding white. There was a puff of dust by the Engineer’s toe capped boots, just ahead of him the Spy stood, motionless, then crumpled to the floor. Engie nudged him with the tip of his foot, tipping his hardhat to the Sniper he knew was watching.

The bottles were slowly piling up at their feet, the pleasantly numb haze of alcohol obscuring their inhibitions as the two men slowly shuffled closer to each other.

“Gettin’ cold ain’t it?” Engineer drawled, beginning to pick up the bottles littered around them and pulling on a jacket with his other hand.

Sniper is wont to agree, standing up rather drunkenly from his little fold-out chair, he began pushing the cooler box back towards the campervan with his foot. “Not as cold as it could be though,” he mumbles. There’s a slight slur to his words.

Engineer tosses the bottles into a bin bag, deftly tying a knot in the end of the black plastic and drags it over to where Sniper is lifting the cooler (and awkwardly trying to open the camper’s door at the same time). He chuckles good naturedly at his friend’s predicament and opens the door for him, receiving a nod of thanks as the lanky man clutches the doorframe on his way up the steps. Engie follows close behind, Sniper drank a lot more than him and he seems a little unsteady on his feet. Stuffing the bin bag into a cupboard Engineer glances over his shoulder to Sniper, chuckling as the Australian looks about for a place to put the fairly large cooler box and settles for pushing it into a corner so it’s not quite in the way but not exactly forgettable (Engie can see himself stubbing his toe on it in the middle of the night). Sniper collapses onto the bed at the back of the van- it’s a single but they make it work- holding his hand out to Engineer.

“Ah’m comin’.” He chuckles again, closing the door to the camper and slipping out of his jacket, it’s about to get a lot hotter in there.

He takes Sniper’s hand with his own, the lanky Australian tugging him down on top of him. He untucks Engineer’s shirt, running his hands over the shorter man’s abdomen and over the cotton of his shirt until he reached the buttons, neatly undoing them with one hand. Engineer lets him do what he wants, even if his cock is straining against his jeans and he needs this. He’ll let Sniper go at his own speed, he always does. The slow, tenuous pace picks up though when Engineer’s shirt is thrown across the camper and he’s pulled down further, Sniper’s lips crashing against his own. The careful caressing degenerated into a wild groping of hands and mouths and tongues, the kind of furious passion that two people who hadn’t seen each other in a very long time would have.

The two men were swiftly divulged of their clothes, bare skin with a slight sheen of sweat pressed up against each other. Engineer held himself up on his elbows, nuzzling against Sniper’s chest briefly before returning to tormenting the man with his teeth and tongue. He kissed and licked and nibbled his way down Sniper’s abdomen, hips, pointedly ignored Sniper’s hard cock and stopped at his inner thighs before glancing upward at the lanky man’s groan of frustration.

“C’mon Truckie…” He groaned, “Don’ tease me…”

Engineer pushed himself onto his hands, hovering over Sniper’s straining erection with a dastardly smirk. Sniper shook his head numbly, muttering pleas under his breath for Engineer to just get on with it. The man descended with an impossible slowness, sliding his tongue out of his mouth to lick a long, languorous line along the underside of Sniper’s cock, halting at the head teasingly. The lanky man shivered under his touch, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Chuckling again, Engineer sank further down, taking more and more of Sniper’s cock into his mouth. Admittedly, he couldn’t take all of him but it was that terrible swirling motion he did with his tongue every damn time that made Sniper arch and writhe below him, keening for more.

“God, Truckie…please…” He moaned, throwing his arm over his eyes and digging his heels into the bed.

Obscene sounds filled the camper; Sniper’s harsh panting, the Engineer’s slurping and all too soon Sniper’s back arched nearly in double and a loud groan ripped past his lips. The Engineer moved back a bit, feeling the sudden burst of Sniper’s cum wash over his tongue and down his throat. He sat up on the balls of his feet, wiping at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Ah think we kin git started now.”
25 posts omitted. Last 50 shown.
>> No. 1310
Whooo, ‘chan is back!

Based on LightSwitchRave (BlahStudios)’s newest video, Toy Soldiers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fqHTVSK8_8
Warnings include massive emo.


---

They hadn’t meant for it to happen the way it did. The sudden rush of Soldiers onto the battlefield was too much for them, especially Scout who, despite his brash nature and over the top personality was surprisingly brave when faced with his immediate demise. He’d grabbed Demoman’s bandolier and a bottle of scrumpy and ran as fast as his powerful legs could carry him towards the onward flow of angry Americans. He’d taken most of them out with him and injured the rest, laughing around the neck of his bottle the whole way, even with one arm.

Spy bid a fond farewell to the opposing side’s Scout’s mother, who, unbeknownst to the rest of the team had died a long time ago. He’d never had the heart to dispose of the photos. Tucking the photo into his breast pocket, the Spy checked the bullets inside his Ambassador; he’d never planned to come out of this insane campaign alive but damn if he wasn’t taking his enemies out with him.

The war had lasted for years, Medic had seen teammates come and go. A careless Sniper backstabbed here, a Soldier who rocketjumped far too much for his own good there. An Engineer that relied too much on his machinery – ”Don’t worry about it Doc, these little ladies have got my back.” He’d say. –Heavies with more brawn than brains. Overconfident Pyros and Scouts. He’d learnt not to get attached to them after a while, but when his current team actually started listening to the old vet, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of pride every time they’d come back to base, carrying intel, clambering off of captured points, bruised and battered and worse for wear but not dead. He’d never expected a Spy to sneak in during an apparent ceasefire. It wasn’t supposed to happen and he was unprepared. His dying thought was of his team members, hoping they’d see through the Spy’s disguise.

It had been a shame, slowly watching his friends die through worse and worse ways. Started in the night with Medic, his neck broken by a bastard Spy. Sniper had retreated into his nest, back against the wall at first but as time ticked on and the Spy hadn’t shown up he’d grown slightly complacent and when the warning went that the other team was attacking, well, he couldn’t sit around doing nothing and did his job to the best of his ability. His hands shook as he spun to see Scout take out a squad of Soldiers on his own, he should’ve been more on his game, he should’ve seen them pouring out of the enemy base and been less interested in taking out the Heavy standing on a hill, his tiny little head a prime target. Briefly he wondered how the other team had gotten so many Soldiers in but a creak in the floorboards alerted him to the presence creeping up behind him. He’d fought the best he could, but memories of Medic’s limp body kept flashing through his head and when he finally felt the Spy’s blade pierce his back, he thought nothing of the pain but of seeing his friends again, even if they ended up in some hellish afterlife it’d be a little more tolerable with them.

Engineer’s last stand took place on top of a hill, a mile away from the bases. He’d driven out when he’d discovered he was the last one left, a truck full of metal, his trusty wrench and guitar, set up shop on his tool box with a crate of beers next to him. He was either going to oblivion drunk or sober, but one way or another he knew he was going down. His Sentries could only last for so long before they ran out of bullets or rockets or a Spy got one. A level one sat by his side, faithfully beeping as he kicked another gib into its line of sight and the counter ticked up by one as a rocket went off somewhere to his left, a grunt of pain from some unknown enemy made him smile. The counter was quite a fine piece of work, made on the fly with the leftovers. He’d make sure the ones controlling this farce new how many of their precious cannon fodder he’d taken down that day. One of the Sentries fizzled and cracked, a deadly looking box full of wires and intricacies forced her down. But Engineer didn’t move, he faced his foe with a serene smile on his face and a tune on his fingers. The Spy whispered one last goodbye before he finished it for good, at least until the next time the higher-ups became bored.
>> No. 1311
Dude you are the bomb, is your steam ID the same as your chan name? We should hang out some time.
>> No. 1312
>>27

This is amazing. Sad, but amazing. I would namefag for you my tentacle porn request-writing god.
>> No. 1315
>>28
Heh, nah, it's SleetFury, the username I use for everything that isn't the 'chans.

29 You should, and come up with more requests that make me go "FFFFF- now I have to do that".
>> No. 1318
> You should, and come up with more requests that make me go "FFFFF- now I have to do that".
I might be able to think of a few. Ever since I did that ScoutMa/You thing, I sort of like her. Maybe something with that. *gets to the drawing board*
>> No. 1350
>>31
I have never done anything het/lesbian before but I am willing to give it a shot if you can give me a prompt?
>> No. 1360
Hm.

Well here's a few ideas I've had. The porny ones.

1. Medic dissects a Tentaspy. (May have been over 10 years ago, but I can remember dissecting a Squid in Grade 6 or 7)

2. ScoutMa and Mrs. Medic have a discussion about the virtues of Spy and Demo and eventually decide they'd much rather have eachother. Said men watch. Bonus points for Scout being traumatized by the event.

3. Heavy, Engineer and Medic have a 3-way, all founded upon a mutual discussion of Gradschool. Engineer and Medic rip on Heavy for being an arts student, Heavy and Medic rip on Engineer for fixing all his problems with duct tape and WD 40 (First law of Engineering, amirite?!) and Heavy rips on the both of them for having no imagination and possibly also having to translate things in ancient languages for medical students (*cough*guesshowimademoneylastyear*cough*)

4. The Chieftain's Challenge is really indicative of Soldiers 1/16th Native American Heritage. Secretly he takes a very stereotypical viewpoint on this and is a New Age Healer sort. Stuff happens. Pervy stuff.
>> No. 1381
>>33
Crap, I don't know which one to give a shot first.
>> No. 1382
>>34

I'll help with that by voting on number 4!
>> No. 1385
>>33
I do believe I would cry tears of extreme joy if the third were to come into existence.
I'd be completely happy with any of them, but in particular I've been dying to read something to do with the whole grad school topic.
>> No. 1386
>>36

HA. That was my favorite too. PhdComics ftw much?

I am probably disturbed for having fantasies about a morning when Heavy and Engineer are in the kitchen and Engineer asks Heavy why Lit majors never ask about the weather in the mornings- the joke is "they need something to do in the afternoons".

My landlord/lady are retired professors themselves and they tease me mightily about being an arts student, but I know that most med students know fuck all about latin, nordic and well, pretty well most germanic and romantic languages and that's my thesis.

I can only imagine that the Medic/Heavy combination could carry over unbelievably well not-on-the-battlefield-but-definitely-strategy-and-hey-cool-bedroom-as-well dept.

Also...fellow gradstudent? *shy wave* I enjoy the opportunity to talk.
>> No. 1388
>>36
>>37
I will quite willingly give it a go if you yanks will help me out here and tell me what the equivalent of grad school is over here in Limey Land.
>> No. 1389
I'm technically a Canuck, but we've the same system as the U.S., so it counts.
Over here, you go to school like this.
From Age 5-Age 18 (sometimes 17, sometimes 19. Depends on when your birthday is)= regular, pretty much mandatory education. The most basic an education can get. You can't get much work without graduating high school, and if you do get work, it's usually at like McDonalds, or some other menial job with little room for improvement.

Next level up from a high school degree would be University (I'm not counting community college, since it doesn't count in this string of events).
First, you get your Bachelor's Degree. You can get them in Arts, Fine Arts, Science, Business, all sorts of things. They usually take about 4 years to get.
After obtaining a Bachelor's Degree, you go to grad school for a Master's Degree. If you have a Bachelor of Arts, you get a Master of Arts after that.
Then after that, you can keep going to grad school, and you get a Ph.D. Then you basically become a Doctor of the Arts (or whatever area of degree you have).

So, while I can't give you the actual equivalent, I hope you can figure it out from the information I have provided.
>> No. 1390
>>39
One difference between American and Canadian higher institutions is that Canadians still care about the technical difference between "University" and "college" while the majority of Americans use the word "college" as a blanket term for all 4-year degree-granting institutions (universities, private colleges, etc.) Community college is sometimes called Jr. College to differentiate between the two.
>> No. 1391
>>38 OMG EEEE.

And also

>>39 BIGGER EEE.

You both just won 40 billion internets for being a crazy awesome author and living within a reasonable distance and 39 is a Canuckistan. (self is a Canuck at U of Glasgow actually.) And and very willing to help with the Canadian system. All said I'm probably better off with the UK system
>> No. 1392
>>41
That's a lot of internets.
I think I'll go with the UK system because it's easier for me to get my head round. (I am down in Cambridge myself.)
>> No. 1393
>>42 EWW. TAB IN THE THREAD. Go to a real uni, peasant.

I kid, I kid. I am, however, ludicrously excited at the thought of HE porn (and that is something I never thought I'd type). There is literally no way this could possibly go wrong.
>> No. 1395
>>43
There are many ways it could go wrong, such as me writing drunk again or my HDD crashing.

But I will try to make this good because I know everyone is pining for it.
>> No. 1398
....wow.

Was so not expecting to inspire Uni wars. Goodness Ash, Namefagging did this?

Cool. Do I get to say that considering my Advisor was a Cambridge grad and he tried to make me go there and um I've sort of heard it is one of the best places in the world for Chaucer studies.

Actually in a less lol I namefagged point I am so ungodly excited about PhD porn.
>> No. 1403
>>45 The Oxford/Cambridge thing is less of a war and more of an 800-year old feud. I don't know what we'd do if we didn't have Cambridge. They're the LITEBLU to our DARKBLU. Wouldn't be no fun without them.
Also, you know, the Boat Race would be pretty pointless, and the Blues crews might have to actually work on their degree or something. And that would just be too much.
>> No. 1405
I am still excited about the fact that I brought about Academic posturing.

I'm only a second year PhD Student so I am probably less qualified to make noises about how awesome I am.

However I can actually help on the USA grad student front since I applied to UofAustin (Prestigious for Medieval Studies.)

The USA is infamous for liking their standardized tests. PSAT, SAT's and in the case of Grads, GRE. I honestly don't know which version is applicable to Engineering students. I took the one for English students.

To put that into context of the fic I suggested, there is
probably an amazing argument with Engineer dicussing the merits of standardized testing with Heavy and Medic.
>> No. 1407
This fic is going to be the death of me.
>> No. 1408
>>47 And I'm only a 2nd year maths undergrad! I'm just patriotic.

>>48 Oh pshah. You'll do a fab job, I'm sure! And if it is the death of you, it is a GLORIOUS WAY TO GO.
>> No. 1410
>>49 OH REALLY. JUST A SECOND YEAR MATHS UNDERGRAD? Oh see my sad face.

>>48 Also, much sad face. Also agree with anon that you will do just fine and if you die in the process it will be for a good cause.

I am enjoying academic TF2 chan waaaaay more than I ought to be.

while we are all here I have another suggestion. Reasonably TF2-y

So if you'll allow me to be long winded for a tick: Yours truly plays paintball. Competitively. I am what you might call a 'Sniper' in so much as one might be able to 'snipe' in paintball. However I am a very small person and one day our front was feeling unwell. I was asked if I could fill in. (Front would be more like your Scout) However I swear to GOD my fronting is like a wicked curse.

The first time I fronted I skidded across grass and ripped open my knees. The second time I pretty well lived in my room being so sore I couldn't move. Recently the British hospital system called my school to tell them I couldn't walk properly.

This NEVER happens when I play back. The stupid thing is I enjoy playing front? But this girl I know who plays on our Speedball team is just brilliant when it comes to fixing injuries. She's a pro masseuse.

Okay so there's the longwinded storytime which prolly makes the request seem lame by comparison. So. The idea is thus: Scout injures himself spectacularly on the battlefield. Nothing broken but he's obviously wounded. Horrible skinned knees to the awful point where putting on a pair of trousers is evil and hurty, wrenching pain from doing something as simple as moving his leg.

He thus goes to Medic who sends him off to Sniper who is fucking brilliant in the art of massage. This leads to sexy times
>> No. 1411
>>50 That sad face better be SO DAMN SAD. Like, sad squared or something. E to the power sad.

I wish I played paintball. Or laser tag. Or dart tag. Or anything that I could twist into TF2 LARP. I would be so bad at it, but my friends would be just as bad so it would just be epic. Also, scroll down this board for almost exactly that idea except with less Sniper and more Heavy?
I should probably get out of Hybrid's thread...
>> No. 1413
>>50
Shit guys this'll probably get done first because I do love me some abused Scout.

That and I'm a giant Sniperfag.

>>51
Well don't leave the thread, just don't derail it beyond belief?
>> No. 1419
More Scout-Sniper sexy times are always loved.

(Also, I think I fail most in terms of education. 4th Year of my BA in English with Drama Concentration. Yeah. Loads of work to be found in this field. Hehe.)

>>40 So THAT'S what a Jr. College is. Thank you. I had no idea what phrase the USA used for them. Now I do, and I am glad.
>> No. 1488
I was working on things, such as some late Valentines shit, a commission and another art for fic trade and then the facebook roleplay happened.
Have some psychotic Medic, psychotic Tentamedic and was-a-Tentaspy-then-he-wasn't-now-he-is-again Spy.

Is this even allowed to go in here I don't know, I don't want to make a useless single post thread over in roleplay.

---


It had been a while since he’d flayed someone’s flesh from their bones.

With some difficulty Korbinian and Daniel had managed to capture the struggling Spy again and pin him down to the metal operating table, the leather manacles biting into his skin as he kicked and screamed in an attempt to get loose. Daniel prepared a sedative drip feed while the human Medic laid out his instruments, checking the sharpness of the blades before he turned back to Guilleme.

The poor Spy looked like he was about to cry.

“Don’t do zhees to me again, S'il te plaît.” Korbinian could have mistaken it for begging if he didn’t know the Spy so well. No, he still had his pride.

The first prick of the intravenous drip made Guilleme flinch. He knew that feeling, could remember it from the hazy days spent on a cold metal table, just like this one as a similar bustle of similar people performed the same operation. It wasn’t just the same operation though; it was the same doctors, only more experienced, older. This time they knew what they were doing, even if their horrid grins were the same.

Daniel let one of his own tentacles stroke the Spy’s cheek as his movements became less and less lucid. They only had so long to perform the operation, if they took longer than twenty four hours to remove and graft the new set of legs and he died, respawn would save his ‘work in progress’ state and he’d respawn, or at least half of him would.

With the powerful sedative in his system, Guilleme couldn’t kick, couldn’t shout, couldn’t stop Daniel from undoing the clasps on his legs as Korbinian set the scalpel against his hips.

He’d feel this.

Oh how he’d feel this.
>> No. 1494
>>54

...you make me so very happy.
>> No. 1618
Good news and horrid news. Good news I've started on the Heavy/Engineer/Medic fic and it's going pretty well, bad news; my laptop is well and truly buggered. The chargers connection is fucked and until I get it fixed I won't be able to do anything properly, in fact I'm posting this off my phone.
>> No. 2054
I hope this isn't horrid.

For Lions, who is contributing to the death of me (this particular fic jumps between days where I write until two in the morning which means I don’t wake up until about noon) and of course for Checkmate who is a constant source of laughs. (Hey, hey, Checkmate “KONNICHIWA DESU ^3^”)

---

“Yo dickwad, I bet’cha can’t hit RED Snipes wit’ yer ball.”

The older, slightly more experienced Scout raised an eyebrow. “If I get ‘im, ya have t’ suck me off.”

That made the other Scout- slightly shorter, slightly thinner, and definitely younger- pause for a moment, then grin. “Sure, but ya have ta throw from ‘ere.”

The younger was cocky, didn’t think it was possible to throw a ball the distance between the two bases and actually land a hit on the overly paranoid Sniper. He was proved wrong however, when the next moment he was being dragged across the battlements, fleeing from the RED’s dot sight and laughing hysterically. He was pulled further, down the stairs, past the intel room where a beeping Sentry watched them run past, into the mostly unused resupply and only then shoved into one of the cupboards. The older Scout followed closely behind, tugging the chord for the light and shutting the door. What could only be described as an evil grin greeted the younger Scout when he’d recovered from the pushed-into-a-closet shock.

“I got th’ Sniper. Now ya suck me off,” he said, grabbing hold of the other’s shirt and pushing him onto his knees.

He swore as he was pushed down and pulled the hands away from his shirt. “Yea’ yea’, whatever man.”

He set his jaw, determined not to let his apprehension show. He wasn’t gay, he highly doubted the other Scout was either, but your own hand became boring after a while… he fumbled with the belt buckle in front of him and eventually tugged the other Scout’s trousers down to his ankles. Glancing up, the taller Scout looked particularly smug, his hands behind his head as he took a seat on a lone shipping crate. Awkwardly, the younger Scout stared at the bulge in the boxers in front of him, the daunting task ahead sparking more than a little bit of apprehension.

“Well? What’re ya waitin’ for mang?”

He took a few deep breaths; a bet was a bet, if he chickened out now he’d be teased relentlessly. Steeling himself, he tugged the boxers down (dickinmyfacedickinmyfaceohshitthere’sadickinmyface) and only then considered how he was going to do this. The Scout stared in apprehension at the stiff cock in front of him, grinding his teeth, when a hand descended on his head and pushed him forward. Tentatively, he stuck his tongue out and licked the head, eliciting a quiet groan from the Scout above him and that gave him such a heady rush of power knowing he had control over whether or not the taller Scout would get a blowjob today that he did it again, a longer, broader and ultimately more confident stroke. There was another groan and the Scout was getting used to the taste of another man’s skin, so this time he started at the base of his cock, dragging his tongue all the way up it and over the head. He tried to recoil away from the sudden shock of the salty, slightly bitter taste of precum but the hand that remained pressed against the back of his head pushed him forward again. The Scout took another deep breath and was about to lean forward again when the hand tightened in his hair, the other’s face was suddenly a whole lot closer.

“Suck it bitch.”

He tried to make a noise of protest, but the moment his mouth was open, the thick flesh was pushed in, far enough back to make him gag. Determined to see this through to the end, he pushed the hand away, enough to rid himself of the awkward nudge of the head of the other Scout’s cock against the back of his throat. Although he’d never admit it, the younger Scout was a virgin; he had no experience with this sort of thing, what felt good and what didn’t, unless it was wanking. What healthy Scout didn’t know about that?

He licked the head again, wrapping his hand around the base and giving it an experimental tug. The other Scout grunted, his hips jerking slightly. Glad he was getting some sort of response, he did it again, licking at the cock in front of him as if it was some sort of lolly pop. Saliva begun to dribble down it, pooling on his hand and soaking into the wraps, making him let go so he could shake some of the disgusting stuff off. Above him, the other Scout cried out in protest, grabbing his hair again.

“Awrigh’ awrigh’! Get off my fuckin’ hair, fag!” He slapped at the hand again before returning to what he was doing before.

He seemed to be doing something right, the taller Scout making tiny needy noises, a hand resting –not pushing, thank fuck- on his head as he sucked and licked with all the limited skill he could call on. He didn’t notice the light shudder that ran down the other’s body, although he did notice the hand tighten. He was about to protest when his head was pushed forward, hot jets of the other Scout’s cum hitting the roof of his mouth and he pulled away, soon enough to get a splash on his cheek. Too shocked and disgusted to do anything about the ejaculate pooled in his mouth, he can only watch the other begin to chuckle and then laugh out loud.

“That’s a good look for you man!” He said, attempting to bite back the rest of his laughter.

A flash of inspiration hit the slightly dumbstruck Scout, started by a single thought of ’He wouldn’t be laughing if he was down here’. He stood, the other not even bothering to question him until he was standing above him, pressing a knee into his leg and getting closer until they were almost –but not quite- touching. The smaller Scout jabbed a thumb into his slightly open mouth, pulling apart his jaws and planting his lips on the others. A small, angry noise was quickly replaced by an even louder one, accompanied by thrashing when the salty-bitter liquid was drizzled unceremoniously into his mouth, his tongue trying to fight off the brief flow until it was attacked by the other’s and it quickly became another battle. Neither was willing to give up, glaring at each other as their tongues fought, neither willing to risk being called ‘chicken’. The taste began to dissipate and they pulled away at the same time, gasping for breath and retching theatrically. They shot each other a dirty look.
No one mentions this.
>> No. 2085
Damn, that was hot. Love how snowballing became just another power game for them.
>> No. 2090
>>57
No, Hybrid I haven't seen this yet - and I was waiting and hoping you'd write this too! Oh man, I'm pretty damn happy to find this now!
God damn this is so hot. SO HOT. I agree with Anon no.58, I totally dig snowballing power-struggles. hahaa... Thank you for writing this!!!
>> No. 2091
>>58
>>59
Oh good! I was starting to worry it was utter crap. Thank you both!
>> No. 2097
into the mostly unused resupply hrrrrng i was just playing 2fort and ran past that room and was like "why is this here". and now i know: the map-accurate descriptions are my favorite part
>> No. 2189
>>61
I'm so glad you noticed!

Huge one, incoming. Can't remember who it was for but it was a prompt about valentines and shit.

This one is filled with author appeal and angry Soldiers. I should’ve given someone a pre-existing relationship BUT NO; I wanted to do it the hard way.

---

It had all started with an offhand comment from Pyro about the upcoming Valentine’s day, and one from Spy about how they all deserved gifts for being stuck in ‘zees god forsaken hell hole’ for so long. Sniper tried to ignore the glance directed at him.

That was how they ended up sitting around a table, glaring at their respective slivers of paper adorned with a hastily scrawled class. Or at least, most of them were glaring; Medic had turned a rich shade of pink, Scout was gaping and you generally couldn’t tell with Pyro.

“So…” Sniper muttered into his chest. “Should we get goin’?”

The team grudgingly nodded or muttered an affirmative- Soldier griping something about being un-American again- and left the room, except for Sniper, who sat there and stared at his slip for a little longer.

When the day actually rolled around- at precisely six o’clock am- Soldier kicked in Heavy’s door, presented the droopy-eyed man with a heart shaped box of chocolates and sat at the end of the bed until Heavy’d finished the box. Admittedly, it hadn’t taken all that long.

“I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THEM, COMMIE MAGGOT.” He saluted and left, leaving Heavy to blink blearily at the door then roll over and go back to sleep.

It was Pyro’s turn to cook that morning, so his ‘valentine’, that in fact turned out to be Scout, was presented with a full English breakfast complete with little heart shaped eggs. He (?) doubted Scout actually noticed, but it was the thought that counted. Scout, it turned out, actually did notice and when he was done he even willingly helped clean up. He complained the whole time of course, but Pyro was glad for his help.

Engineer went overboard; his pride seemed to be at stake, as if this was a little competition between the team. He took Soldier out to lunch at a quaint little restaurant, booked the entire thing out so it was just him and Soldier and let him order whatever he wanted. It turned out to be ribs multiple times but at least Engineer got to choose the wine.

Outside of the battlefield, Demo was usually fairly sober, if a little crazy, and Pyro was more than happy to accompany him back to his home and mumble an asbestos-ruined hello to his blind mother before sitting down to a traditional home-cooked Scottish feast (for lack of a better word). Demo would later refuse to reveal Pyro’s gender to anyone, even with Scout’s persistent badgering.

When Engineer found a bouquet of flowers on his desk, he didn’t think that much of it, just his valentine being skittish- and all signs pointed towards said person being Scout, as the bouquet was accompanied by the boy’s hat and headset. Not an hour later, he found another bouquet on his seat at the dinner table, along with the boy’s cleats. Another hour passed and he found a third bouquet on a Sentry he’d set up, along with Scout’s shirt. Now he could very well see where this was going and his suspicions were confirmed when another bunch was found taped to his bedroom door and Scout’s trousers hastily balled up in a tiny bag hanging from the door handle. Briefly he entertained the idea of leaving the boy where he was in nothing but his socks and underwear, then decided against it when a small, needy noise somehow managed to seep through his closed door. Engineer opened said door- really, they must be made of nothing but two planks of plywood, he thought- and his brain, hardwired for constant thought, simply stopped. On his bed was indeed a Scout in nothing but tight fitting boxer shorts and socks, but Scout also had his teeth clamped around a single orange and yellow narcissi and both hands tied with the same style ribbon that had kept the bouquets together. It went without saying that Engineer shut the door and went to join him.

Out of all of the team, Spy was the least happy. He had been saddled with that psychotic German (possible) Nazi of a Medic and not the Sniper as he’d wished for. So he did what any self-respecting Frenchman would do and tried to seduce him. Medic was –as expected- unwilling to reciprocate, at first, the bottles of wine Spy tried to pry him with went un-drunk and he had the audacity to sever the heads from the roses Spy left for him. Needless to say, it was not an entirely productive day for the usually successful Spy. He was walking past the infirmary, rather late at night thanks to an unusually fitful attempt at sleeping, when he heard particularly soft murmurs from within. His first problem here was how to get inside the infirmary without alerting its inhabitants. When there was a sharp ‘Nein!’ from inside, he took his chance and ran with it.

“What eez going on in ‘ere?” Spy asked, sauntering inside with a cigarette dangling from his lips.

Sniper had Medic pinned against the wall, his hands next to the German’s head. Smirking ever so slightly, Spy watched Medic’s eyes dart towards his desk where his Bonesaw lay. There was a small Mexican Standoff as the three considered their situations, eventually Sniper pulled away from Medic and stalked out of the room. Spy followed him without a second thought, disregarding Medic as he opened his mouth to say something.

“So, are you going to tell me what zhat was about, or am I going to ‘ave to torture it out of you~?” Spy chuckled, tugging on Sniper’s sleeve as they walked down the corridor.

“Oi’m not tellin’ ya anything.” The Sniper scowled and pulled his arm away from Spy.

Realising he really wasn’t going to get anything out of Sniper, Spy let him go, watching his broad back retreat down the corridor. He didn’t sigh wistfully, but he did sigh and turn back to the infirmary. Medic had straightened himself out by the time he got back and had taken a seat back behind his desk, the deadly saw was nowhere to be seen but that didn’t mean it wasn’t out of arm’s reach from Medic. Spy decided to be cautious.

“Are you all right Docteur?” He leant on the desk, trying his best not to start thumbing through the files scattered on it.

The Medic looked up from his work to glare at Spy over the rims of his glasses. Spy smiled back at him, just enough that it didn’t look smug. Or so he hoped, he wouldn’t like a Bonesaw to the gut any time soon.

“I am fine, danke Spy.” He didn’t really look fine, particularly flustered, flushed a little around the edges in a way that made him look at least a little less…well…evil. Possibly even slightly attractive, but Spy wasn’t going to go down that line of thought just yet. After all, he still had a Sniper to seduce.

“Eef you are sure?” He raised an eyebrow at the German, silently hoping the man would indulge him, just this once.

Medic sighed, rubbing his temples with his thumbs. “Zhe Sniper he…professed his wish to…” He waved a hand, the way he would when he was trying to translate something. “For lack of a bettah word, fuck me.”

Spy was surprised. Then he was slightly angry. And then he had to fight back the urge to grin. (He was certainly not depressed, even the slightest, at any point in that uncharacteristic display of emotion.) If he played his cards right, this could very well go to his advantage.

“May I ask why you turned him down?” He slid into the role of concerned friend like you’d slip on a glove, sitting on the edge of Medic’s desk and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Zhere is someone else.” He patted Spy’s hand.

Well it wasn’t Heavy, Medic was very much adverse to the lumbering giant off the battlefield, nor did any of the other members of their team seem likely. Spy’d seen his files personally so he knew the man wasn’t in any sort of romantic relationship outside of here –RED kept very detailed records- so who could it…

Oh.

Medic’s hand lingered ever so slightly on his own.

Oooh.

This could very nearly send Spy into a fit of gleeful giggles if he wasn’t careful. This was going almost exactly the way he wanted it to.

“He is a razzer attractive man though, don’t you zeenk?”

“Perhaps.” Was Medic’s curt answer as he stood up and walked away from Spy, busying himself by a desk.

Spy followed him and placed a ‘comforting’ hand on his back, rubbing little circles with his thumb. “You are still my valentine for zees silly event, and even eef you haven’t accepted my ozzer gifts, I inseest on cooking for you tonight.”

Medic made a noise of protest, but Spy was already cloaked and the door was already closing.

Now for Sniper.

How he was going to do this was anybody’s guess, especially as Sniper was refusing to let him into his nest, a trunk of clothes pushed on top of the hatch and a threat to blow his head off if he even tried coming in through the window again. Offhandedly, he mentioned he’d be cooking for Medic tonight and as Sniper hadn’t given him his gift yet- super sleuthing mode activated, all things considered it was bloody obvious who’d gotten Spy- maybe he’d like to help out, and eat with them?

Sniper thought about it. He thought about it for a long time and it was beginning to get quite dark when the trunk was pushed aside and Sniper stuck his head out of the nest.

“Fine.”

The both of them refused to even think of cooking while the others were eating, so all three ended up in their makeshift lounge, playing cards with a bottle of wine between them, pilfered from Spy’s own reserves (he thought he might as well go all out) while they waited for the rabble to leave. Eventually they did and Sniper and Spy shuffled a light headed Medic into his seat at the table in the kitchen, the two of them arguing in quiet voices over what they should make. Spy wanted something extravagant and French. Sniper wanted something simple that was guaranteed to taste good. Right now, Medic was alright with pretty much anything. With a final huff of irritation, Sniper conceded, it was Spy’s gift to Medic after all.

In typical French fashion, the two ‘chefs’ for tonight pulled together a damn decent looking salad buffet for starters, Spy making sure to include everything he’d ordered specifically,- when he’d got the time to do this, he wouldn’t tell anyone- from asparagus to a few phallic looking fruit things. They left the second course cooking while they ate, the slight tension broken when Spy burped, a bright pink tinge to his cheeks when the other two looked at him in surprise.

“Pardon.” He mumbled, ignoring the low chortles from Sniper that sent funny tingles down his arms and the light chuckle from Medic that didn’t do much of anything.

The next course was beef bourguignon with all the trimmings- more red wine than there was other sauces, a few extra ingredients of dubious origin and plenty of onion and spices to disguise the flavour- and Spy brought it out with a flourish, the wine he’d ‘tested’ starting to go to his head a little. He was well aware that whatever Sniper and Medic were eating he’d be eating too, but his little extra ingredients didn’t worry him in the least, they’d only make what was already there more obvious after all. The dish was a hit, Sniper asking for more and Medic gently writhing in his seat and by the time Spy suggested they skip the third course and go back to the bedroom they were more than willing to follow his advice.

Not even ten minutes later and Spy was sitting on Sniper’s lap, the Australian’s cock deep inside him, his legs opened as far as he could while he watched Medic in front of him gather more of the lube that was dribbling all over his expensive bedding, fingers sliding over where Sniper and Spy were joined. Sniper was whispering horridly dirty things in his ear, suggestions, requests and Spy desperately wanted to punch whoever taught him the word slut in French. Unless he’d done it, which was entirely possible. Medic was drawing closer; the ever so slight burn in his ass was long gone, although it did pop back in for a second when vaguely Spy wondered when he’d lost control over the situation. Perhaps, he thought, it was when Medic had begun kissing him feverishly, pressing him against the closed door of his bedroom, Sniper watching from the chair with a strangely Spy-like glint in his eyes. Or maybe when it was when he’d been divested of his clothes completely and Medic was still in his jodhpurs, Sniper only a vest away from his full uniform- and perhaps some buttons but Spy was getting really quite desperate by then. He reflected on this as Medic pushed in alongside Sniper and he realised he didn’t give a flying fuck. He didn’t give a fuck when they both started moving, didn’t give one either when his back was arching and certainly didn’t give one when he was crying out ‘harder harder oh please please please’ and he was so far from giving a fuck when he finally came that giving a fuck didn’t even exist in his vocabulary.

Coming out of his hazy, post orgasmic stupor to pull his cigarette case from his jacket, the pleasantly full sensation not quite having left his ass yet, he realised he may never have had control over the situation. Especially when Sniper pilfered the case and handed one to Medic too before dragging Spy back to lie in between their warm bodies.

And then he remembered.

He didn’t give a single fuck.
>> No. 2191
>>62 I made this prompt, and I just wanna say: Thank you so fucking much. It's perfect. I'm going to read this every Valentine's Day now.
>> No. 3464
So I stopped playing Pokemon long enough to write something for Lions' birthday. It isn't big enough to deserve it's own thread so IT'S IN HERE AGAIN. Happy old forever day Lions! (Oh yeah, early warning, this is a bit of a textwall.)

---

Bedclothes were unnecessary. They always ended up on the floor early on during the boy's trysts. The two were a rolling mass of sweat slicked skin and borderline pain, panting breath and lust fuelled heartbeats. The room quite simply stunk of sex. It was heady and settled like a wall in the air. One bit the other's lip, blunt fingernails dug into his skin enough to bring up bright red welts in retaliation and somewhere along the line someone got punched. Purpling bruises blossomed on their arms and sides where the indentation of teeth cut into their skin. Both were grinning, calling insults and grunting with pleasure as wrapped hands touch everywhere at once. One ends up on top and pins his near identical counterpart to the bed with trembling hands. They shake with adrenaline and lust, not fear or apprehension. They've both done this more times than they care to count, the scratchy bedsheets under them familiar enough that just touching them sparks memories. Legs are jerked into position roughly, another bruise to count later and the one on the bottom cries out. He bites back louder noises as the one on the top jeers breathless insults at his cry. His hands wrap around the other’s neck and flatten out on his back. A jerky movement and those tense fingers curl, digging into skin and pulling in time with the push of hips behind him. A cacophony of noise makes it impossible to disguise what they're doing; the clinking of dog tags, the pleasure-pain cries mixing with loud grunts and sighs. They're both very vocal people. The one on top braces himself and grabs the other's thighs. More loud noises echo around the room and the bottom cries out again, arching his back to the heavens as he comes. This leaves the other to find his own pleasure within the body of his exhausted partner. His hips snap forward at near random intervals, fire coursing through his veins until he reaches completion and drops his head onto the other's chest. The Scout's chuckle weakly, red flush of exertion slowly fading from their bodies. Neither can find the energy to move nor do they care.
>> No. 3465
And if you can't stand that version, there's another here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/220734
>> No. 3478
>>64

Oh god. Hybrid, getting angry scout porn is the best present ever. And fuck yeah vocal sex~

THANK YOU SO MUCH. We should do a collaboration one of these days.
>> No. 3492
>>66
I'm so glad you like it! Hehe we should, that would be amazing.
>> No. 7183
Whoa ! I had no idea what these awesome things were hidden in this thread!
>> No. 7838
I had someone shout a prompt at me over Twitter.

---


Soft leather, not tight enough to choke but tight enough to remind Spy it was there against the bare flesh of his neck. The leash attaching him to his lover was pulled taunt; the flimsy material of his mask was rolled onto the bridge of his nose where thin fibres tickled.

Dirty bushman.

That’s what he always called him wasn’t it? A filthy Australian that peed in jars and lived in a camper van.

Call me Mundy.

The name fit him, especially when it was purred in an ear.

Mr. Mundy…

That filthy, beautiful Australian cock was buried inside him. Inches of twitching flesh pounding inside him, moving in a rhythm only Sniper and Spy could hear. Sniper twisted another handful of leash around his hand and pulled, bringing Spy up onto his knees. His teeth fastened on the flesh of the Frenchman’s shoulder. He wouldn’t pierce the skin, not yet. Those sharp teeth sent flashes of white through the back of Spy’s eyes. He fancied he could feel every ridge and bump along those beautifully misshapen teeth.

Spy felt sick and overjoyed and dizzy all at once and every thrust inside him brought those white flashes closer and closer together until his vision was just one big blinding light and he couldn’t breathe.

The white flashes became grey fuzz. His pinprick vision turned monochrome. Sniper’s teeth broke skin but he couldn’t feel it; not the dull trickle down his chest and into the black hair that peppered it, not the way Sniper’s breath became laboured against the back of his neck or the way it disturbed the fine wisps of hair there.

Splintered wood scraped under his already bloody fingernails (when had he been pushed forward again?) and suddenly Spy could breathe again. Life returned to his system, pounding heart desperately pushing oxygenated blood as far and as fast as it could. It followed that silent rhythm.

Only with a sense of quiet completion was Spy allowed to fall to the floor, strength sapped from his wiry limbs. Behind him, Sniper reclined and heaved himself onto the ratty mess of a bed- the only comfortable thing in the room- before poking Spy with the tip of a toe.

Spy turned his head enough to give the (filthy) bushman a look. It spoke volumes in minute detail, pages as thin as a hair’s breadth. And Sniper skim read every single one of them, somehow managing to miss every important crucial little plot developing detail. Spy was not amused.

He was even less amused when Sniper called him a good dog. He pushed to his tingling feet and unbuckled that soft leather collar, tossed it carelessly at Sniper and rolled his mask down. He lit a cigarette and sat next to the Australian to watch the tendrils of smoke caress the ceiling. Sniper took one of them too and they lapsed into soft silence, waiting for the feeling to come back to Spy’s legs.
>> No. 7841
That was incredibly short, but incredibly hot.
>> No. 7850
Oh. Yes.

Oh yes.

>>69

Thank you. That was a little gem of naughtiness, and I will probably wind up re-reading it several times, because shoulder biting and a leather collar-and-leash? Yes please.
>> No. 7994
Everything here is pure gold.

I hope you finish that Engie/Sniper and Snipercest.
>> No. 8484
This post has been deleted.
>> No. 9355
I don't know how anatomy so bear with me. Quick drabbly oneshot for Owlymedics/Fluro whatever ya wanna call her.

---

Eight tentacles. The suckers were a pale blue, a little lighter than the underside and much lighter than the almost scaled tops. A sucker attached to Medic’s thumb, still strong despite the heavy anaesthetic he’d been placed under. With a deft flick of his hand, Medic sliced the sucker off and placed it on a tray to the side of the table. A thin dribble of blue blood leaked from the wound he’d made. The Spy that was strapped to the table groaned weakly, his eyes rolling to stare weakly at the ceiling. How fascinating. The anaesthesia and muscle relaxants didn’t quite have an adverse effect, but instead spread along his body instead of staying in the tentacles. Medic had expected the Spy to have an allergic reaction, or something of the sort. Slowly, he dragged his scalpel into the thick muscle of the tentacle he held in his hand. It parted with a wet noise and revealed layers of impressively thick and blue strings of skeletal muscle. He wondered where it was anchored, as it wasn’t attached to a skeletal structure like that of a human. Determined to find out, he dug the scalpel into Spy’s hip and watched the blood dribble down his torso and tentacles.
>> No. 9363
I just wanted to say, I lvoe all of these!
My personal favorite has to be the Valentine one, though.
Wouldn't mind seeing some more Pyro, though, if you dont mind a silly anon's request.
>> No. 9630
I got drunk and asked Miss M to shoot me a prompt. It's only a teeny tiny one because my drunk is wearing off and I can't think in a straight line, let alone walk in one. Have some Helmetparty.

---


The panties were pink, with lace where lace was not supposed to go. Thin, too. They only covered enough to be nearly decent, with obscene little swirls of flowery pattern on them. Engineer wore them like he would any other piece of clothing. They fit him perfectly, as if they just blended in with the curves that Engineer sported like a well fitted dress. Every time he wore them, Soldier would feel his blood rush to lower places too quickly for it to be healthy.

Sometimes, when Engineer and Soldier were alone in the workshop, he’d see a little flash of pink too quickly for it to be intentional. It would be when Engineer leant over to get something, or when he’d fold his overalls down after a long day at work. He didn’t need to wear anything underneath the overalls, except for a shirt, and because of this they’d sometimes slip a little too far down. When this happened, Soldier knew it only did because he was around.

Engineer wore those panties for him.
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