This is why I love fanfiction. We get to have all flavors of the frikkin rainbow. Down to the extremes like this. It's a pity he's bunking with assassins, it means instead of hushed whispers, he's going to get people who are waayyy more abrasive.

Also, Heavy is totally crushing on him, bahahah.

Interesting chapter. This is just the pervert in me thinking, but Scout kind of came off as being curious about Medic and his homosexuality. Normally, if you were truly repulsed by someone, you probably wouldn't voluntarily be alone with them out of boredom. lol

I felt like Demo was really out of character, though. During the War update, we saw that he's a really sensitive guy who values friendship and becomes extremely emotional over perceived betrayal of that trust. He's being seriously bad in this chapter, and it's hard for me to imagine. For goodness sake, he's a black Scottish cyclops; I think he of all people understands what it feels like to be shunned for being different.
Just my opinion.

Conversely, I'm almost disappointed that Engie is the 'nice' guy here. No no, it's a good thing, because we've seen that cannonly, he's a polite man who uses violence as a last resort even when people are being very disrespectful to him, despite that he could knock their block off at any time. Mean Engineer can be fun, and because he's from Texas in the 60's, it's pretty much a given that he'd be inclined to dislike homosexuality, but it's perfectly believable that he'd be the first to stand up and tell everyone to stop acting like a pack of animals over nothing.

Now, Heavy. I won't be satisfied if he simply comes to a painful realization that he is gay and loves Medic. That's not good enough. He either has to DO something major to rectify the situation created among the team, or else just agonize over it a lot. This can't go on forever; he has to man up and pay a penance to his friend.

Whipped and screwed, my goodness, this chan knows how to party!

>>56 Thanks for the constructive comments! To be honest, it is difficult for me to write some characters as homophobic more than others. I think the reason Soldier and Scout are so often portrayed as the emphatically homophobic team members is because it's very easy to imagine, because Soldier is the epitome of American machismo and Scout's a smarmy little bastard.

The rest of the team does strike me as the kind who would be less hostile and/or not give a fuck, but I think the elements of "not only is Medic a yucky gay, he also attacked a team member and tried to lie about it, so who knows what else he's laying about; maybe he is a Nazi after all" swirling around into rumors that can only get worse would set the fence-sitters more firmly on the "this guy are sick" side. Depending on the character, it can be construed as a betrayal to the team. I mean, sexually assaulting a team member? What kind of respect does that demonstrate to his fellow team members?

I have plans for everyone; I have plans to explain their actions more as well as Medic's, and certainly Heavy's. All I can say is stick around and wait for the resolution as it unfolds.

I'm with >>56 on this and while I also understand what you're saying Joannad, I think it would have been better if you could have added that into the chapter. (Hindsight is 50/50 though.) Accusing him of being a Nazi is of course losing them the arguement but it's understandable and realistic and it successfully dehumanizes the Medic into a monster. Not to mention he's German, that's possibly the first insult that would come to mind... even if it's the most extreme.

My key problem is actually more about how Demo said it than anything else. I know that in the game they all have several insults that call their opponents women. But to hear Demo equate the Medic to a woman and then say "should be seen and not heard" kind of pushes it too hard for me. The man lives with his old blind mother and, even when she's nagging at him, he doesn't really ignore her. For that reason, I feel it's too out of character for him. I also personally think Sniper and Spy should have been more directly involved in the threat, since they're doing this out of fear and becoming a small mob would be only natural, but perhaps that would have been too much.

In general, the scene as it was honestly made me think they were going to rape him if Engie hadn't spoken up, considering they equated him to a woman and were threatening violence without stating what sort of violence. That was what really unnerved me. I'm not saying it's impossible but I'm just the sort with a knee-jerk reaction to seeing any of them presented as rapists (because I love all of them and being a rapist isn't exactly admirable.)

Also following along with >>56's train of thought, it might have been interesting if Engie had been going along with them until they made him uncomfortable and then he put a stop to it.

I'm eager to read more but that is my two cents worth.

The Demo thing can SORTA be justified, since the Demoman characterized is the RED Demo, not the BLU Demo.

Technically.

the red Demoman is Tavish, Jane was the BLU soldier

... I feel stupid. I forgot this was BLU and not RED so, ultimately, we don't know precisely what this Demo is like.

Even so, what Demo said gave me rape vibes and thus it still gave me a stronger case of the creeps because of that. Which might have been the author's intent, I don't know. Regardless, I still dislike any of these characters being portrayed as rapists and if it does come to that (maybe unlikely but nowhere near impossible) I'm not entirely certain how I'll feel about the story, though I'll continue to read it to see what happens and how.

But thank you for reminding me. That was a large blunder on my part.

>>61 I noticed the rape vibes too. I just happen to like rape vibes, so I didn't complain about them. So you're not completely alone.

Drive-by comment but just saying it now: there won't be any rape!

Just dropping in my two cents here, but the person who really made me edgy in this bit wasn't actually Demoman. Demo...I tend to automatically dismiss a lot of the more "dangerous" things he says, simply because of the alcohol. Being the granddaughter of a violent-talking alcoholic, I know that that particular addiction can very much make you threaten things that, when sober, you would never have the balls to pull off.

No, the man who really gave me a bad feeling was Engineer. He came across in this as... an enabler. Someone who knows that what is going on is against the rules, and has no desire to get busted, but has no problem living vicariously through others who aren't so cautious. He sat and *watched* Medic get threatened, and even made a point of saying he knew what they were up to and what was going on. "I think you shook him up plenty." But he didn't make any move to stop it until it started to look like he might be an accessory to rule-breaking. I don't trust that smile he threw Medic for a moment. I generally like Engie. But in this, I feel like he is almost more dangerous than the ones who are open and vocal about their hate.

Perhaps it's because so many hate crimes against gays start with someone the victim thought was an ally.

>>64
Scary stuff. I got chills just reading your comment.

>>61
I pretty much second everything you said, including the part about assuming all Demos were the RED Demo.

I've read this when it first started and been scrolling past the comment box always wanting to say something and now I will lol.

I really like how grounded this story is. I like the fact that not every single man on the team is somehow gay (not that it's a bad thing lol) but it's written really realistically with the way Medic is going through these emotional bursts. I like how you keep each personality so different and strong; with scout being an obnoxious kid, heavy being somewhat timid at this point, etc etc.

And I /really/ can't wait until the drama between them unfolds, Heavy and Medic that is. It's going to be delicious!

Very good work and I'm glad to see it updating regularly (:

>>64

I hadn't considered that maybe it was just the alcohol talking. Does that mean that when drunk they still might do it but that it's unlikely because they're still mostly all bark and no bite?

OMG, your explanation for Engie is horrifying and probably correct. I hadn't even considered that when I suggested it might have been interesting if Engie had been going along with them until they made him uncomfortable and then he put a stop to it. Because you're right, he technically WAS. He didn't say anything until then. Ugh. That is so terrible and yet so perfect. I really hope he doesn't end up hurting Medic worse than everyone else does.

Damn it. This is all so very hard to read but so wonderful for that same reason.

Man, this is so well written and gripping and I really want to know what happens, and who thinks what and how each individual reacts to the situations... but I simply can't read it.

God speed to you woman, but you make bullying and potential harm so realized and imminent (respectively). Continue with your brand of awesome, I'm sure there are others with stronger dispositions than I that are loving the hell out of it.

My heart hurts because of this story. It's so hard to keep reading because the team is just so incredibly cruel, but I NEED to know what happens next!

Hrrrgh, please keep writing.

Hate to bump I really do, but I want to see the resolution to this so badly.

Bump of great justice. I would love to see this finished. It is too good to let die.

I second everyone who says that this is cruel and heart-wrenching and everything, because. DAMN.
Loving Engie for stepping in there and eternally hating Demo.
Fuck, really, reading this hurts. But I can't stop and dang, I'd really love some updates.

demand moaaarr ! i love this more than my first born puppy !

>>73
You...you shouldn't have done that...
I'm gonna have to go cry some rage-tears before I get around to killing you with my bare hands.
Seriously, dude. Learn to sage, it'll save you a shitload of internet backdraft.

>>73
Imagine my happiness when TWO of my favorite stories appeared on top of the board ! I was ecstatic !

And then, I was crushed. You probably disappointed dozens if not hundreds of people by bumping this story ! It doesn't help anyone, so please don't bump !

Put sage into the email field before commenting !

lol if hundreds of people are upset by a fake bump to this fic I will quit out of sheer intimidation.

I swear though I am working on the next chapter. So uh, nobody needs to bump it. I haven't forgotten!!

Oh, joannad

Thank you for your reassurance that there will be more.
This fic is amazing. Painful to read as it is as raw as life can be, with similar miscreants and villains. (Tarea is right about bystanders with vicarious/puppetmaster tendencies. They get so scarily worked up with it.)

I can only hope it works out for Medic. Please update soon!

Aw. This struck a couple chords with me.

First, I'd like to say that this strikingly reminds me of To Kill A Mockingbird, as it centers around discrimination and injustice (in that case, race rather than orientation) - particularly how the accuser in that story was a white girl with a crush on a black guy, and took out her frustration at his fearful rejection by accusing him of raping her and earning the poor man the hatred of the entire town and eventually death.

Secondly, it reminds on a more personal level of my freshman year in college, living about a wall and door down from a snarky girl who caused all sorts of drama wherever she went. (She was like a brattier female version of Scout, no lie. She was a total tomboy who took her running very seriously and constantly picked fights with her ex-prom queen roommate.)
She would go oddly out of her way sometimes to make scathing homophobic remarks, which drove me (more to the "farther" end of bisexual at the time than I am now) up the wall and made me feel so insecure in my new home populated by already conservative girls. There were nights I'd restlessly think up classic what-ifs, like being avoided at the bathroom/showers, or treated as some sort of perverse freak, or having Bible verses thrown at me, etc. if they viewed me as "queer," and I was forced to angry tears at the injustice and discomfort in my own skin.

(Epilogue: Floormates turn out kind and accepting, said girl drops out due to immaturity, lesbian floormate informs me later of finding that girl huffing out a sidelong exclamation online of being "bisexual, of course." Repressed indeed. As lesbian friend replied while shaking her head, "Way to make [us] feel like shit.")

SMH at people covering up their own self-hatred/insecurity by projecting hate on and creating more insecurity for others.

Good fic so far, of course. As mentioned above, all too real.

[captcha: realtit]

I really wish the author would continue this fic. It's unique to Medic/Heavy fics, and indeed any fic I've read here. The writing is very engaging, and it would be a shame for the story to have stalled. Author, please don't be intimidated by your readers!

oh shit guys im back and i bring you MORE PAIN actually just a really short chapter to say hey im not dead and i didnt forget this story!!! lots of personal stuff the past few months, depression, family, holidays, stress at work, yadda yadda, but im in a place where i feel like writing again so HERE WE GO (also i changed my handle from joannad to joe d just fyi)

-----

Shaken but not shattered, Medic made it back to his office, plate in hand, though he didn’t feel quite as hungry anymore. Archimedes managed to shove his beak into the lukewarm mashed potatoes before Medic noticed and pushed him away. The bird cooed in an annoyed manner, but stayed close. As the doctor finally lifted a forkful of meat-like substance to his mouth, there was a knock at the door. He immediately cursed under his breath.

“It’s me, Doc,” Engineer called through the door, “can I come in?”

Medic let out a relieved sigh. At least it wasn’t the damned Scout again, or one of the teammates who had accosted him in the kitchen. And Engineer had defended him. “Ja, Engineer, you may come in,” he called back, tone professional.

The mechanic entered and removed his hardhat, holding it in front of him as a gesture of respect. His eyes were unreadable behind the dark goggles, however. “Much obliged, Doc. I just wanted to have a little chat with you.”

“Of course. Sit, bitte,” Medic answered, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. Engineer nodded and sat, setting his hat in his lap.

“I just wanted to let you know, I’m on your side here.”

“Thank Gott someone is.”

“Sure. And I wanted to let you know, I don’t really think you “attacked” the Heavy. Made a move, maybe, but attacking him, well, that’d just be plum foolish of you! Little guy like you against a big fella like him.” Engineer chuckled. Medic cracked his knuckles.

“Well, thank you. While I think I could hold my ground against him, I would likely not survive a direct assault and would not initiate one.”

Engineer chuckled again. “Whatever you say, Doc.”

“Yes.” There was a pause. “I am glad to know you are on my side, though. Danke.”

“Sure thing, Medic. You seem like a good guy, and I hate seein’ good people wrongfully accused.” Engineer smiled and nodded his head again. “But,” he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, “well, I’m worried about you.”

Medic rolled his eyes. “If it is about the way the others are treating me, I assure you I am fine, Herr Engineer.”

“No, it’s not that. I mean, I know they’re bein’ real… aggressive, but I don’t think they’d really hurt you. What I’m worried about is…” he let out a harsh sigh, “your immortal soul.”

Medic lifted an eyebrow. “What.”

“Have you heard the word of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

“…I was raised Lutheran, Herr Engineer.”

“Well, then, you know!” Engineer said excitably, slapping his knee. “You admitted you’re a--a homosexual; you gotta know you’re headin’ down the wrong path!”

“We. Kill. People. Every day. How is that worse than loving someone?”

“That’s different! They come back! What you’re doin’… that’s an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. You’re perverting the grand design of the universe. “Be fruitful and multiply,” but how can you do that if you’re takin’ it from another man? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Overpopulation. The Baby Boom after the War--”

“The spread of disease! You’re puttin’ your johnson in some mighty unclean places--”

“Condoms, other safe sex methods, and the human colon is not actually that--why am I even trying….”

“The lifestyle you’re leadin’ sends boys down a bad path of promiscuity and danger. And these are all practical problems, ones you wouldn’t face if you were with a woman. It’s just the way God intended things.” His tone softened and he looked at the older man with concern and the best intentions. “I’d really hate to see you get hurt on account of something like this, Medic. You’re a good man with a good soul; don’t let the homosexual cult steal it from you.”

Medic stood, looking down at the Texan over the rim of his glasses, eyes hard. “If you have come here to lecture me about God, do not bother. I lost my faith years ago, precisely because of people like you.”

“But Doc--”

“I told you, do not bother. If you have nothing else to say, get out,” Medic commanded, not backing down.

Engineer set his jaw, chewing on a response for a moment, before standing, grip on his hardhat white-knuckled at his side as he pointed indignantly into Medic’s face. “Fine,” he bit out, “but this ain’t over. Just remember, I was on your side.” With that, he left, but ever the gentleman, did not slam the door.

Sitting back down angrily, Medic shoved the meat still on the fork into his mouth. Noticing it had gone cold, he immediately spit it out and threw down his fork. “Scheisse,” he muttered, ignoring Archimedes as he came to prod once again at the potatoes.

“Have you heard the word of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”
Am I cruel for laughing really hard?

no that line is always hilarious

WAS on your side... oh dear

I came in my pants finding out you updated. I kinda like the angle you gave Engineer, he may have 11 PhDs but it doesn't sound like any of those are in human biology and he did grow up in Texas. Meanwhile Medic probably did have to go through a lot since even though he's a doctor he grew up in the years leading up to Nazi Germany and they did not have a good view of homosexuals either.

"Oh yes Engineer is on Medic's side. Finally Medic has a friend-- wait WAIT LOL."

I laughed pretty hard then felt bad about it. Poor Medic.

Also, so happy this fic is still alive.

Am I horrible for laughing through this entire chapter the second I hit "the word of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ"? I did not see that coming. Poor Medic though, seriously.

I like how Engineer is talking about Medic "influencing boys" and how he should be with a woman when NONE OF THESE THINGS are available at BLU base.

Fun Fact: "Have you heard the word of the Lord" is a great way to end conversations with obnoxious cab drivers.

Already read/squealed over/cried over this at tumblr, came to drop a word here.

I am really loving this. Especially Medic's unimpressed Lutheran reaction to Engineer's opening there.

Also hoo boy... I am not looking forward to the escalation of Medic's problems here. By which I mean, I am absolutely looking forward to it.

Hah. Oh, Engie. This chapter made me laugh because my mother is just like that.

I'm REALLY glad this fic isn't dead though, i was really hoping it would be back. I can't wait for more!

So...is this EVER gonna be continued?

>>91 I will kill you. You have broken my Medic-sympathizing heart.

Wow, this fic is wonderful! Please, dear author, do go on!

91, YOU HAVE JUST ENRAGED THE BEAST.

LEARN. TO. FUCKING. SAGE.

Yeeesh, all I did was ask one lousy question! Is there any need to rip my head off?!

And what do you mean by "sage"? What do herbs have to do with anything?

>>95
you must be new here.
put the word, "sage" in the email field so the post is not bumped to the top of the board. Then people won't thing it updated.

>>95
You should read the rules before posting (A Moderator's Note - Please Read, second post down), they explain what saging is and how to do it precisely so that people don't necrobump like this.

I got excited thinking maybe there was an update.
So sad right now.

Another broken heart here

(If I didn't do the sage, you all may kill me.)
I have loved this and dearly hope you continue! There's not a lot of unique stuff like this fanfic out there.
Also, I too laughed hyterically at the "Have you heard the Word" bit.

I NEED MORE! POOR MEDIC, I KNOW THAT FEEL AND DJDHDHDHDKWOHSHSSWQA!
*ugly sobbing*

DID YOU JUST-
/SCREAMS
wHY THE FUCK I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU
SAGE
I thought it updated *cries*

Thank you, Harley, for another outrageous necrobump. It's pretty funny how that's pretty much all we get these days. Nevertheless I'm disappointed this wasn't a real update.

I got reading this and I was truly glued to this fic. It has so many unique themes. I actually am intrigued by the homophobic characterizations and I was sad to see how long it's been since an update. Does anyone know of any other fics with similar themes that I can wet my appetite with?