What happens to herr Doktor after the war? Let's just see. --- As I drift out of a coma-like slumber, I begin to notice the darkness of my house. Everything is completely dark, no such light source is found anywhere. Perhaps I am still sleeping? I feel as if I'm awake, despite the utter darkness. I can also feel my hands touch my face, I can smell the air and hear my surroundings. But where is my sight? Perhaps I have gone blind? But yesterday I saw perfectly well so that couldn't be the case. Is something covering my eyes? I feel my finger tips to my eyes, touching my closed eyelids in the process. No, nothing is covering my eyes besides my eyelids. I re-open my eyes just to be greeted with the same black surrounding. What's the matter with me? I try to stand myself up but my leg is very achy and sore. But, I manage to stand up, at least I think I am standing. I start to feel around my surroundings to get a grasp at where I am. As I do so, I feel the slight touch of leather... My sofa? Am I in the living room? My mind begins to pounder at my reasoning to be in the room, until it comes back to me. My girlfriend! I was staying at her place last night and I... I think I got into a disagreement with her and ended up sleeping on the couch... Yes... I think that's why. I try calling out to her, but my throat starts to throb with infinate pain, causing me to moan in grief. Why can't I speak? I spoke just fine yesterday as I told my girlfriend how much I had hated her... why did I do that? Wait... what if she did this to me? That bitch, I knew I couldn't trust her. She's always complaining I don't spend any time with her and all she does is spend all the time we should have with eachother on her friends, texting and her ex... I bet she was still seeing him, I just know it. Wait... stop it. Why am I filling with so much anger and hatred? I love her, I know she wouldn't do that to me... *click* Behind me I hear a door latch shut. I want to call for my love, but my sore throat permits it. So I follow my ears, which are a lot more sensitive than I remember, to a shut door. My fingers feel really tense and are throbbing from pain, I cannot open that door... I pound my fist gently on it to see if it gives anyone the notion I'm in here. No one answers. I want to tell her I'm in here and need her to open the door, and ask her what's wrong with me and hold her and tell her how much I love her... I start to moan out, which causes a great deal of pain in my esophogus, and cry. Why can't she hear me? Can't she hear the great deal of pain I'm in? Maybe she's in the shower... maybe she's on her ipod... or maybe she's texting him... He's more important than me... he's always been... that bitch, I hate her... I want to... eat her... I start pounding my fists harder and harder until the weakly made door begins to cave. My ears are then filled with high-pitched shrieks of terror. Oh my god! I try to call out for her, resulting in more pain. I can hear her heart beat... It calms me, but encourages me to bash in the door faster. I want to be with her... right now... My arm reaches inside the room and I begin to feel for her, tears and saliva running down my face. My throat starts burning causing me to moan and groan in pain, but I disregard this. I just want to hold my girlfriend again, I want to feel her soft embrace... As I think of this, I strangely start to become aroused... The scent of her hair... The touch of her skin... The taste of her lips... I cannot understand why I'm feeling these strange emotions all at once. Why? As I reach for her, I suddenly feel this shockwave of pain electrocute my... my hand. I arch my head back and scream in pain... What happened? I... I feel as if my fingers have been... Sliced off! She did this to me? Why would she? I can hear the slight clasp of scissors snap inside the room and I hear... sobbing. She's crying? She cuts off my fingers and she's the one crying? My body begins to fill with anger... I want to kill her! I manage to kick in the door and soon my whole presence is inside the room. I smell her... I can hear the clanging of someone pushing up against... the toilet. I reach out to my left, the direction in which the sound was made, and feel around. I hear her pityful muffled cries... Soon she'll be crying for real. I lunge my arm towards and manage to grab a tuft of her sof hair, resulting her emitting a loud scream. I reach down towards her neck, to choke her... I want the damn sound to cease! I grasp tightly around her throat and begin to choke the life out of her, muffling her voice. She makes these odd sounding squeaks as I grip tighter. Then I notice the... smell of her... She... smelt so... delicious... I want to eat her, right now... Without thinking, I lunge my head down towards her and chomp my teeth down on her exposed neck, blood spilling into my mouth. It tastes bittersweet and it feels as if I've craved this taste for too long... She emits screams of pain and begins choking on her own blood. She... tastes so... good... My erection begins to grow as I munch farther into her, as she weakly screams. I want to be inside her... in more ways than one... My remaining fingers begin to wander down her torso and onto her pelvis... She's still wearing the dress from last night, the one that started our disagreement. I had told her she had many other better looking dresses; they all fit her better as well. But she had to choose this dress of them all... I care about her comfort and she accuses me as being 'shallow' and 'uncaring'... As I slowly stop biting into her, I begin to tear off her dress... that god awful dress... I want it off her! I use my teeth, my hands, anything to rip it off. It shatters her beauty... her true beauty... As I do so, I feel as I rip off her panties, as well. My nose becomes embraced with her sweet scent... I trail my nose down until the scent becomes stronger and sweeter. I lick my lips and expose my tongue. And then I begin to let my parched tongue wander around her moist crevices. Every twist and turn I am greeted with delicious juice, filling my dry, swollen mouth with relief. It is also warm here... so there must be warm blood... I... just want to try it... just this once... As my tongue finds the location of her sentive nub, my jaw starts to close. I clench tighter and tighter until I feel a break in her skin, resulting in this tasty, bitter liquid filling my mouth. I lock my jaw as hard as I could and jerk my head backwards, which causes a distinct tearing sound coming from my love's beautiful below. My head jerks back, her nub still in my teeth. The taste of it fills my senses with the upmost joy and hardens me even more... I chew the delightful skin and I swallow, it slides down my throat ever so gently. It's odd that I cannot hear her scream, that would have surely made her, as one would think. I shrug it off, though and reach down to my trousers. I tug and pull them off, nearly tearing them, and expose myself. I hope she feels every second of this. I feel for her entrance, blood spilling onto my finger tips. After about ten seconds searching, I had found it and placed my finger there to aid me. I hoisted myself up and over until the feel of warm blood coliding against my hard flesh told me I was there. I collapsed my body into hers, emiting a painful, low groan into my throbbing throat. But the pleasure greatly outweighed the pain as with each thrust I made into her was complete ecstacy... As I was piercing into her, it made me recall the time we had both made love together. It was a rainy day and we were watching a movie, holding hands, talking about life. I had kissed her, and she kissed me back, sooner or later the room was a mess with thrown clothing. It seemed as though that was an eternity ago... But the feeling I had now... it was much better than it was then... I felt so damn hungry, too... Thrusting into her slowly, I bent down and wandered my tongue to her breasts and began to lick and feel them. The skin was a bit salty there, but very delicious... My teeth formed around her nipple and I clamped down on it, as hard as I could. I turned my head side to side, eventually tearing the precious skin off and swallowing it whole. Oh, if only I could see her, I'm sure she'd look as beautiful as ever. She certainly felt as beautiful as ever... I gained pace in my thrusting, trying not to moan, as those were too painful. But I couldn't help myself... They came out as they'd pleased. She felt so tight and warm... I hope she can still feel me. I'm close, I have to stop. I need to feel this forever... But I can't. She's so good... I keep thrusting and thrusting until I... I... Mmmmm... I felt my oddly cold seed spill into her warm opening... my god, that feeling... It was over. And, since I had started, not a peep from her. Was I... not... good enough? My body became tense and hatred-filled once again. I hate you, you worthless whore! I pulled out of her filthy body and reached for her abdomen. As I clawed and bit at it, I heard the fainted sound of moaning. And seconds later, I heard it again. Soon, my ears were tingling with the noise of scratching, groaning and... screaming. I begin to come to reason with what I'm doing to my own love... No... I... just... Her frail heartbeat had been long gone. It was by my hands. No...
Okay. This was a great ... start. And i just assume there will be coming... more? And that there will be than medic. Like old Zombiehunter Medic? Sorry i was just confused from this now a little bit.
@Anon I just might continue it. Dunno yet.
Ooooh snap.
how is this tf2 related
I have some criticisms of this. 1. I would not have known this was a TF2 fanfic if it hadn't been posted to this chan. I would not have known that the Medic was the narrator without having read the title. There is absolutely nothing in here even remotely resembling the character or environment of TF2. Not that I'm against dark fic or fic that takes place before or after the war... not at all. But I read this and there is absolutely nothing TF2 about this. You could put in any character as the narrator, hell, you could have the narrator be an original character, and it would effect nothing. 2. The spacing is weird. You break for a new paragraph with every line, like it's a poem,and then every few lines you double space the paragraphs, like the start of a new stanza? It reads like a free verse poem a freshman in high school would write, and it feels even more like that because of the pointlessly goey subject matter. What is going on? Where was he? Why did his girlfriend chop off his fingers and blind him? Wouldn't a man Medic's age be married? I don't understand the character's motivations at all. 3. A 40-50 year old man does not sound like this. He does not think or speak like this. This sounds very much like a teenager trying to be "edgy." This voice is not a full grown man who wakes up finding himself to be blind and crippled. His first thought is hatred? Not fear and panic and crying from this? He seems to be really quick to go and rape and kill his girlfriend. You'd think a guy that was blinded and crippled like that wouldn't be able to track her down that quickly and would be a lot more helpless. I mean, assuming she's uninjured, she'd have the clear advantage, even if he was on an adrenaline high... you know, because she can SEE. 4. I WASN'T AWARE TEXT MESSAGING WAS AROUND IN THE LATE 1960's. Do you even know when this game takes place? Even the aesthetics of the game are very much grounded in 1950's Americana. The summary of the game on the official site says the game takes place in the mid 20th century. The comics are set in the 1960's. This is really common knowledge. 5. The gore in this is ridiculous, and this is coming from somebody who absolutely loves to write gorey, angsty stories. The thing about gore and angst is that it's not effective if there's no emotional attachment to the characters who are experiencing it, and there's no emotional attachment to this narrator. I do not feel pity for him. I do not feel sympathy. I only feel disgust and discomfort at this, and a lot of that is due to the quality of the writing. There's no logical buildup to this, there's no tension, no anticipation, nothing. Just... right out the gate, ridiculously gory for no reason. I honestly don't think this can be saved. I'd suggest scrapping it and uploading your future endeavors to /workshop/.
Normally I don't post here under my normal name, but I'm going to do so just so I can say WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK. I'm not aroused by guro but it's at least interesting to read; this is just stomach-churning. It's pornographic in the worst sense of the word. You're so far from the original material (TF2) that it looks like you've taken a sub-par attempt at original writing and posted it here for shits and giggles. If this was an attempt at trolling, try harder. If this was an attempt at TF2 fic, just give up and lurk more.
BEWARE SPOILERS! *holds hand up* Okay i was the first Anon who posted under this and now i can scramble all about this together. Please hear this, before we torn this all apart and say it´s not TF2 related. First: I assume the narrator ISN´T medic. This is just a kick-off for a story. Than comes the nice with great music underlined trailer AND than begins the Story. Second: I assume the narrator is a zombie who is either a. One of medics failed experiments like in Re-Animator. or b. Was victim of the everloving OMFG it´s a zombieapokalypse!virus. Who just already went rampagne and so his girlfriend needed to cut his fingers and to blind him in selfdefense (the reason why she is crying in the closet). Than he lost his consciousness and is just in the denial: No, i don´t belong to the living dead! Phase battling with his zombie isntincts. Like in Breathers. Just with more gore and without the funny socialcriteric. And the charmant Protagonist. Third: And this is the reason why i assume in the next chapter will be more ABOUT medic. (I mean not with him. Just ABOUT medic.) God i want to write more about my theories for this story, because i´m Intrigued by this. But i fear i could bring the author in a corner with this.
>>8 You must have read this a lot more carefully than I did, because I had trouble focusing due to it being... well, not written very well at all. If the narrator is a zombie, which makes more sense, then they're not written very well as a zombie. I don't read this and think "well, obviously, they're a zombie." I can't think of any zombies that are motivated by anger or hatred over hunger, unless they're voodoo zombies. THE FACT THAT YOU HAD TO EXPLAIN THAT THE NARRATOR IS A ZOMBIE TO US IS A SIGN THAT THIS STORY IS NOT VERY WELL WRITTEN. It's confusing, it's ridiculously gory, and it doesn't even take place in the timeframe of TF2. This should be in /workshop/.
>>6 Thank you for beating me to pointing all that out.
Holy shit. Overkill?
hey guys what's up - WHAT IN THE WILD WORLD OF SPORTS IS GOIN ON IN HERE?!