Admittedly I've edited it since the last time I posted it---- all i want is help really... Please, I really feel it's not properly proportioned...

you wanna start all the way from the beginning. you need to improve how you draw lines. believe me youll instantly get better if you follow this advice.
you need to STOP doing super tiny short strokes with your pen/brush/whatever. you need to try to make longer lines with one stroke. i posted a pic as an example. the engie on the left is long strokes, the engie on the right is short tiny strokes like what you do.
a lot of beginners do this and i dont know why since its way easier to do longer strokes. i seriously got a hand cramp with that example pic.
it really does improve the quality of your work instantly if you make this a habit.